"Beefy lips". "Beefy lips" is all they could say to me. It had been sixteen hours waiting, without another word. The worry, the fear, the unknown. I had so many questions, but not one of the doctors who passed me uttered a single sentence other than "beefy lips". My mind was racing, were they dead? A rugged face snapped back from behind a pristine surgical mask and peered over at me. I looked up, hopeful, fearful. The doctor beckoned me over and pulled back the curtain. There lay my beautiful virgin bride, legs wide open. A forest of tangled pubic hair draped over the thickest, chewiest, shiniest set of matching vaginal lips I'd ever laid me eyes on. I was in heaven.