Global Statistics

Brings back vivid memories of when me and my mate Ray went on a trip to Dresden. We met this rotund goth in a bar, head to toe with tattoos and piercings, real filth and after a while took her into the disabled bogs for a spit roast. We were both pumping away in her with Napalm Death on in the background and her wailing "MEIN GOTT" at the top of her lungs. I remember spaffing all over her back just as Siege of Power kicked in. As i shoot over her, she takes Ray's cock out of her gob and says "do you want fries with that?" in a faux American accent. Anyway, we go outside and there's this gammy little geezer in a wheelchair sitting there furious, giving me daggers, because he's had to wait so long, so I lean into him and I go "I hope you have as much fun in there as we just did you little cunt".

This is the 4th Springsteen album I have gotten out of 70, 2nd this week. After listening to the album I ate at a McDonalds, read a Ronald Reagan biography and punch a commie in the dick. MERICA!

Hehehe balls

Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Favorite tracks: Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Album art: Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. 4.5/5

This kind of cabaret-muzak tripe owes 99% of its sales to business entities. The "corporate communications" departments at outfits like the Marriott Group approve it as album of the month, and this moves a few hundred thousand units. It spends its 30 days of patronage on repeat in hotel lobbies and art gallery gift shops, and afterwards it ends up in op-shops. The corporate world then forgets about Ute Lemper because Norah Jones has a new album out, it's lounge jazz covers of Soundgarden songs and for some reason, hotel chain executives think that is a good idea. Meanwhile, the wider public remains mostly unaware of this album's existence. Maybe Ute will have another album in a few years that's picked up in the same fashion, but for the moment she goes back to whatever artsy-fartsy theatrical bubble she came from. Soon enough the op-shops, inundated with copies of an album no one's ever heard of - let alone care enough about to pay $2 for - give up on trying to sell copies of it as individual units, and include them in bulk lots that are offloaded to Chinese ebay merchants. The CDs remain in warehouses just outside Shenzhen, the ebay listings untouched. This repeats as bulk lots are shifted from reseller to reseller. But the CDs never sell, and after a while they end up in landfill. The booklets disintegrate and the plastic begins to slowly decompose. Climate change eradicates humanity long before the CD cases are broken down into their base elements. Eventually, as the universe expands beyond its ability to maintain thermodynamic energy, everything comes to a slow, frozen, irreversible halt. 2/5.

Fuck Morrissey

YE-(and I cannot stress this enough)-HAW

Most 60's groups had three choices: copy the beatles, copy the beach boys, or sexually abuse minors. These guys changed the game and did all three- Four stars!

I ate a giant burger after listening to this. Take that Morrissey!!

Hey, reader! If you can't find the full album anywhere, email me at sodaco3@gmail.com and I'll send a zipped file of the songs. John Zorn. Hmmm.....let's talk about John Zorn. He's a jazz artist (saxophone) who specializes in avant-garde jazz. This alone will turn away quite a few people, and I can't blame them: avant-garde art is inherently pretentious with it's "ooo, look at how I deconstruct certain pervasive elements in art and rearrange them for new experiences". It's pretty anarchist, and anarchists SUCK! Given this, I'm pretty surprised that Zorn is even on this list. I would've went with his much more popular "Naked City", but maybe that was too "jazz-rock" for 1001. Regardless, most people are going to walk away not enjoying John Zorn's work. So, what is he doing with this album? Well, he's got a 5-piece band built of two alto-saxophones, a bass, and TWO DRUMMERS! Neat. Double drummers is always risky but it's avant-garde so we'll let it slide. Cool production note: each saxophone is playing in a different channel (Zorn is in the right; listen for his licks!). Also of note is that everyone playing is improvising, giving a sort of full sound that surrounds the listener like a chaotic hug. Can you feel it? Zorn's compositions are interesting, as he opts to do these much shorter tracks that don't stick around for long before moving on the the next one. Zorn is heavily inspired by the hardcore punk scene in New York, London, and Tokyo at the time, particularly the rise in grindcore (see: Scum by Napalm Death). That sort of quick-and-dirty, attack on the ears is something that was very much inspired from grindcore and can be seen crossing over in jazz through Zorn. Again, most people will not like this, but for what it's worth I think it's a cool approach to jazz. By the 80's, Jazz had pretty well split; smooth jazz was on the rise with the likes of Kenny G, producing the most accessible, commercial music possible. Meanwhile, Jazz was being used more as a prop for other genres, such as acid jazz in the UK being a combination of electronic beats with jazz (great for clubs), or hip-hop producers incorporating jazz samples in their beats, leading to the rise of jazz rap in the late 80's and early 90's. This comes AFTER the prominence of avant-garde jazz actually, so Zorn is late to the party and very much on his own. Regardless, his approach to jazz with the mindset of hardcore punk makes for a fresh and thrilling listening experience. Overall, I think there's a lot one can take from this album, but they'll need to be open to the weirdness of it all. Do not expect structure, melodies, and rhythms that ground most songs. Instead, listen for how each instrument is playing off the others while also being totally independent from the song. There are times in this record where the stars align and you can hear the purposefulness of Zorn's band coming together in creating some really rad shit. But you gotta be open to it, or you'll just walk away thinking it's a total stinker. If you liked this record, consider listening to Ornette Coleman's stuff! I recommend "The Shape of Jazz to Come" and "Free Jazz", both records that did NOT make this list because Coleman ISN'T ANYWHERE ON THE LIST, DESPITE HIS NAME BEING HONORED BY THIS ALBUM. FUCK YOUUUUUUU 1001 ALBUMS!!!!

Really enjoyed this. Of course by enjoyed, I mean I tolerated it. By tolerated it, I mean I'd rather smother by body in chilli and get fucked by all members of The Incredible String Band wearing condoms laced with razor blades, whilst my Internet search history is read to everyone I've ever met, than ever listen to this ever again.

I noticed some of the lyrics seem to imply that these boys are not on very good terms with the police.

I mean, it's Imagine by Julian Lennon's dad, it's a bit 'meh'. Jealous Guy is a good song....towards the end it made me punch a wall...but at least it wasn't my wife, eh John?

What in the literal fuck

the cheeriest album ever made by a convicted murderer