Wow. I- I - I- This album was IMPECCABLE. Where to begin. How about with the horrendous arrangements? Some of them started off innocently, like the slow opening credits of an old Disney film, but then a swarm of whining metal wasps enter to help arrange these disasters - er, sorry, REmasters. Ha. The album began so obnoxiously with The Race for the Prize I actually LOLed! The drummer’s little “one, two, one” couldn’t prepare me for that woefully rambunctious not unpleasant whatsoever madness; at some point a car alarm went off outside and I didn’t notice for a good 20 seconds because I thought it was part of the song. The background vocals combined with the sporadic bursts of percussion, jeez, I couldn’t help BUT nod my head. Like yes, bang bang, give us nothing! And is it just me or did the lead vocalist sound like Paul McCartney, but STRAINED? Like he was forced to run a 10K while singing exceptionally hollow lyrics. For example, listen to the line “They lifted up the SUUUUUNNNNNNNN” in A Spoonful Weighs a Ton (before the song descends into literal turmoil). Speaking of - The lyrics were so astonishingly simplistic, I couldn’t tell whether the songwriters were just high or perhaps … literary genius? Maybe you can help, because, from
 The Spark that Bled ~ “I accidentally touched my he-ead And noticed that I had been blee-eeding For how long I didn’t knoooow” it’s almost as if they’re implying that the singer just discovered he’d been bleeding from his head for quite some time I don’t know though I think I might be overanalyzing this… Or The Spider Bite Song ~ “When you got that spider bite on your hand I thought we would have to break up the band To lose your arm would surely upset your brain The poison then could reach your heart from a vein” Clear, to the point and nostalgic - no, really, it takes me back to first grade when we learned about RHYMES for the first time, I think I came up with a poem just like this actually Or even better, Buggin ~ “All those bugs buzzing around your head Well, they fly in the air as you comb your hair And the summertime will make you itch the mosquito bites Well, they bite Yeah, they bite But you still tell they're there” Guys I think they’re onto something here! Bugs bite, oh they bite alright! I got a mosquito bite on my ankle yesterday, do you think they’re implying that this bite was in fact, from the mosquito that bit my ankle that was bitten by the mosquito who decided to bite my ankle that had a bite from the very same mosquito? Lastly, Feeling Yourself Disintegrate started off promising with some unsettling “brap-bap-bap-brrrap-bap-bap-bap-bap”s , then dissolved into another timeless drone devoid of any meaning. This is the ENTIRE song (don’t worry I don’t think I can get a copyright strike bc of how deliciously generic the lyrics are): “Love In our life Is just too valuable Oh, to feel For even a second Without it But life Without death Is just impossible Oh, to realize Something is ending Within us Feeling yourself disintegrate Feeling yourself disintegrate Feeling yourself disintegrate Feeling yourself disintegrate Feeling yourself disintegrate Feeling yourself disintegrate Feeling yourself disintegrate Feeling yourself disintegrate” At this point I really felt myself begin to disintegrate. And combust. And become one with the dead mosquitos on my window net. With all that being said (I hope it was comprehensive enough), I think I might have weakly enjoyed this if I was unwillingly under the influence of some mysterious psychedelic plant, maybe the Flaming Lips have some to spare? Look I appreciate profundity in simplicity, but this was uh … pretty bad. Except for the first two, the tracks melted into an indiscernible mass of misplaced drums and ridiculously elementary, LITERALLY the tackiest lyrics I’ve seen in a long time. Wait, don't be offended, it’s honestly refreshing! It could also be that I’m laughably wrong and the album is too sophisticated for my measly uncultured in the genre of reverby rock (or wtvr this is) mind to process. I can never tell. After all, the band somehow has over 1.5 million monthly listeners on Spotify????

This is the type of album I could only tolerate at a free outdoor summer festival, with a good amount of snacks and the polite-est of friends. Each song starts off promising, until the absolute cacophony of instruments takes over, overpowering Wilson’s less than unique voice. I mean, he has a good voice I guess but I don’t think it stands out amidst these slow... weird… dramatic … almost psychedelic arrangements. Overall, the lyrics were unmemorable, maybe because I couldn't actually discern most of them from the unnecessarily epic violin playing. Seriously, why does the first half of Friday Night have an underlying THX intro? You know, that one suspenseful intro before a movie starts playing? LOL Some, like River Song, were a bit too gospel-y for my taste. And OK maybe throwing the trumpet here and there is interesting but like in Dreamer and Thoughts of You I think the way the instruments are being introduced is so arbitrary and abrupt. Too much! Headache inducing, almost. You and I & Pacific Ocean Blues were better than the previously mentioned, because of some consistent beat, but maintained the bland lyrics. My favourite was Only With You. Steady, no swell of random instruments… it was nice to actually hear the lyrics (mostly, “All I wanna do, is spend my life with you...”) but yeah still no lasting impression on me. As someone who doesn't listen to much rock I realize I don't quite have legs to stand on when critiquing this. But Wilson's meh singing makes this objectively less than mediocre. 2 stars for the effort tho, bc clearly there was a ton of effort instrument wise, despite it being over the top.

I’ve always had a thing for The Carpenters, so I’m disappointed when their less notable singles fail to match the unique quality Karen's voice offers. Delightful to listen to, with a couple of hits if you’re into feeling somewhat dismal, but not an album I’m floored by. Favs 1. We’ve only just begun : I listen to this — what I assume is a classic — at least a couple times a cycle because of the wistful sunset feeling it gives, optimistic with a tinge of sadness, or apprehension, but when the trumpets kick in, the song becomes almost reassuring to listeners who are beginning new endeavours-relationships-etc.. because “we’re sharing horizons that are new to us”.. a line I’ll never get tired of. A compelling, sentimental introduction to the album, which could have easily been made a track in the film “Brooklyn” (2015). lol. 2. Close to You — I’m kicking myself for never listening to this before, because apparently it’s a HIT (oops) but uH yeah I guess this lives up to its 90 000 000 + plays on Spotify. This was stunning … and although I’m no instrumental connoisseur … I’m a little awed by the breadth of instruments covered in this … with any other artist this could have been overwhelming but Karen’s voice somehow makes it all acceptable. My only issue with this song is trivial , just that the lyrics were repetitive, too obsessive for my liking and didn’t exactly hold a lot of meaning (see: Why do stars fall down from the sky/Every time you walk by?/Just like me, they long to be/Close to you). As for the rest, nothing stood out to me as memorable, although Maybe It’s You and I’ll Never Fall in Love Again were pleasant enough. I thought their cover of Help was unnecessary and honestly annoying… Mr. Guder was a odd tinkly ballad mix (but I can’t deny the tasteful instrumentals); see I just think most of these arrangements are too soft and ill-fitting to support the melancholy typical of her voice . Like, I’ve always found the intoxicating flute solos in their cover of This Masquerade a beautiful match.

Wow. I- I - I- This album was IMPECCABLE. Where to begin. How about with the horrendous arrangements? Some of them started off innocently, like the slow opening credits of an old Disney film, but then a swarm of whining metal wasps enter to help arrange these disasters - er, sorry, REmasters. Ha. The album began so obnoxiously with The Race for the Prize I actually LOLed! The drummer’s little “one, two, one” couldn’t prepare me for that woefully rambunctious not unpleasant whatsoever madness; at some point a car alarm went off outside and I didn’t notice for a good 20 seconds because I thought it was part of the song. The background vocals combined with the sporadic bursts of percussion, jeez, I couldn’t help BUT nod my head. Like yes, bang bang, give us nothing! And is it just me or did the lead vocalist sound like Paul McCartney, but STRAINED? Like he was forced to run a 10K while singing exceptionally hollow lyrics. For example, listen to the line “They lifted up the SUUUUUNNNNNNNN” in A Spoonful Weighs a Ton (before the song descends into literal turmoil). Speaking of - The lyrics were so astonishingly simplistic, I couldn’t tell whether the songwriters were just high or perhaps … literary genius? Maybe you can help, because, from
 The Spark that Bled ~ “I accidentally touched my he-ead And noticed that I had been blee-eeding For how long I didn’t knoooow” it’s almost as if they’re implying that the singer just discovered he’d been bleeding from his head for quite some time I don’t know though I think I might be overanalyzing this… Or The Spider Bite Song ~ “When you got that spider bite on your hand I thought we would have to break up the band To lose your arm would surely upset your brain The poison then could reach your heart from a vein” Clear, to the point and nostalgic - no, really, it takes me back to first grade when we learned about RHYMES for the first time, I think I came up with a poem just like this actually Or even better, Buggin ~ “All those bugs buzzing around your head Well, they fly in the air as you comb your hair And the summertime will make you itch the mosquito bites Well, they bite Yeah, they bite But you still tell they're there” Guys I think they’re onto something here! Bugs bite, oh they bite alright! I got a mosquito bite on my ankle yesterday, do you think they’re implying that this bite was in fact, from the mosquito that bit my ankle that was bitten by the mosquito who decided to bite my ankle that had a bite from the very same mosquito? Lastly, Feeling Yourself Disintegrate started off promising with some unsettling “brap-bap-bap-brrrap-bap-bap-bap-bap”s , then dissolved into another timeless drone devoid of any meaning. This is the ENTIRE song (don’t worry I don’t think I can get a copyright strike bc of how deliciously generic the lyrics are): “Love In our life Is just too valuable Oh, to feel For even a second Without it But life Without death Is just impossible Oh, to realize Something is ending Within us Feeling yourself disintegrate Feeling yourself disintegrate Feeling yourself disintegrate Feeling yourself disintegrate Feeling yourself disintegrate Feeling yourself disintegrate Feeling yourself disintegrate Feeling yourself disintegrate” At this point I really felt myself begin to disintegrate. And combust. And become one with the dead mosquitos on my window net. With all that being said (I hope it was comprehensive enough), I think I might have weakly enjoyed this if I was unwillingly under the influence of some mysterious psychedelic plant, maybe the Flaming Lips have some to spare? Look I appreciate profundity in simplicity, but this was uh … pretty bad. Except for the first two, the tracks melted into an indiscernible mass of misplaced drums and ridiculously elementary, LITERALLY the tackiest lyrics I’ve seen in a long time. Wait, don't be offended, it’s honestly refreshing! It could also be that I’m laughably wrong and the album is too sophisticated for my measly uncultured in the genre of reverby rock (or wtvr this is) mind to process. I can never tell. After all, the band somehow has over 1.5 million monthly listeners on Spotify????