This turned me into an atheist. Or alchemist. Or whatever the term is that means I'd really like to fuck Linda Ronstadt. Or Emmylou Harris, which I believe some comic referred to as Gram Parsons disease. Whatever. I share a birthday with Dolly Parton. That used to mean something. I find Dolly to be a better actress than singer. Oh, you want a hotter take? Her best performance was in On Golden Pond. Great, now I'm confusing Dolly for Jane Fucking Fonda. Or maybe Dabney Coleman. If I end up masturbating to Dabney Coleman instead of Dolly's jugs I'm just going to run with it. Good Lord these are some strong ass shrooms. My mother was right. Never kiss a rodeo clown. As Dolly would say in her Oscar winning role as Klute, Here You Come Again. And here I go.