The first time I watched Midsommar, I for some reason decided to do it after taking an edible. I realized I needed to stop and put myself to bed around the (spoilers for a 2019 movie) scene where the elderly citizens were being killed, because I realized that I was sitting up against the headboard with my knees to my chest, drooling ever so slightly onto my chin because my jaw had fallen open minutes ago and I had just been watching, unblinking, mesmerized and stunned by what was unfolding before me. I'm not saying this was *exactly* like that, but I put it on while I was sitting with a bunch of candles burning, one of which was making my nose get stuffy so I was breathing deeply and heavily, and I worked my way through a backlog of emails. Past worlds unfurled before me - appointment reminders for my now-deceased cat, scheduling volunteer meetings and attached documents, car and plane tickets for a funeral trip, countless confirmations of N95 mask orders, notifications that benefits and programs were being rolled back and canceled, receipts for abortion fund donations. "For Today I Am A Boy" and "You Are My Sister" crescendoed and other tracks rolled along. Everything felt a little fuzzy around the edges. Maybe most of this feeling isn't about the album, but I think a lot of it is.