Southern vibes, slow, blues-y

Pokémon-sounding-ass backing tracks. The epitome of horrendously untalented British boys trying to ride in the wake of The Beatles’ success. If this were the soundtrack to my life I think I would off myself. The only redeeming quality of the whole album was Waterloo Sunset, which they put at the end of the album to hopefully use as a palette cleanser. Sadly, no amount of “musical sorbet” can remove from my ears the disgusting refrains of the previous 12 songs. 1/5 stars without a single doubt in my mind.

Banger after banger after banger. Plain and simple. The only drawback on the whole album is that they put Love Bites forth, so you’re left longing for another power ballad. Although that’s quickly remedied with Pour Some Sugar On Me. The best part of the album as a whole is the ease in which you can jam along to it. Never heard these songs? Doesn’t matter. Anyone can enjoy these bangers. A beautifully crafted musical masterpiece that realistically deserves a 4.25/5 but I’ll round up to 5 because it was that much better than yesterday’s album.

Not my cup of tea

This entire album had me jiving to the beat the whole time. Any album that can capture your subconscious attention for nearly an hour straight and keep you moving is a goodie. Imagine going to a college party in the early 2000s and this pops on the boombox? Good vibes all around. I just know there were a couple shy lads who got a couple brews in them, popped on the Missy Elliot album, and ended up leaving that party with a decent amount of phone numbers in their pocket (on paper probably, this was pre-razr). And the FEATURES on this album? You kidding me? Luda, Jay-Z, TLC, 50? Missy knew what tf she was doing. I did enjoy this album, but wasn’t blown away by any means. Missy gets a 4. Side note - the best line in the whole album was “can I put my booty in your spaghetti”. Not even entirety sure what that means but then again the entirety of “Pussycat” was a trip, so 🤷.

Wow, what an album. It’s hard to explain the exact reasoning I had behind these classifications when analyzing this thing, so I’ll keep my review short. Here’s the breakdown: Boring Songs - 2 Songs that feel like they belong in a Zumba class - 2 Songs that feel like the end theme to an 80’s teen coming-of-age film - 1 CERTIFIED BANGERS - 5 (!) Are there a couple duds? Yes. Every good album has at least a couple songs that just don’t hold up to the rest of them. But any album with FIVE certified bangers is extremely deserving of my first ever 5 star rating. Congrats, Mr. King of Pop.

Frankly I liked the vibes but think it would hit much harder if I was cruising Route 66 or something on a road trip. Not great not terrible. 3/5

I mean, nobody can argue. The album 100% certifiably slaps. Banger after banger after banger. Even Flow truly makes me feel like I could hit a Christ Air off a quarter pipe from a 75ft drop in (I’ve never skateboarded a day in my life). I got no beef with Vedder. Easy 5/5.

Don’t want your album on Spotify? Take this 1 star L.

Similar Pink Floyd vibes? Idk it’s honestly very confusing how their music makes me feel. I don’t hate it by any means but just don’t love it.

Can he see? The world may never know. But I know one thing for certain: the ladies in the jazz lounges absolutely loved this album. It’s the type of beats that are similar but different enough to keep your head subconsciously bobbing the whole time. Add the occasional nasty keyboard riff in there and it’s a great funky vibe. Disclaimer: I didn’t pay too close attention to the lyrics but it seemed like the whole album was a sort of “3 act play” and I liked that vibe too. Not my favorite genre by any means but you gotta respect it. I’d say 3.5/5 if I could

Copy and pasted directly from my notes app: He refers to his significant other as “little girl” in the first song and I’ll tell you rn I don’t like that. Bob Dylan vibes and not in a good way. Your own back yard is about taking a shit ton of drugs and losing your family and it sounds like the whole album was on drugs. Although in all fairness, a couple of them were kinda catchy. I just didn’t like the similarity of the whole album. Definitely not as bad a as the kinks. 2.5/5, rounded down.

This dude took an orchestra, a microphone, put them together and “cooked” as the kids say. You don’t hear this type of orchestral-pop-singing too often outside of the theater. And this dude NAILED it. For some reason kinda he reminds me of Barry Manilow. Not a bad thing. He did drop a soft f bomb in the song “Next” but I’ll forgive him. It was the 60s after all. It’s times like this when I really wish this website had decimals or a 10 star rating system because there were a couple songs that just didn’t get me going as much as I wish they had. Especially since the first song on the album hits you so hard it’s just a little disappointing to have those few mis-hits. 4.75/5 would be the ideal rating for this but fuck it. 5/5.

This threw me back to riding in the car with my mom as a kid (she loves 70s music). So I guess nostalgia maybe played a factor but I love Paul McCartney. The only thing I don’t like is when I can’t remember if a song is by Paul McCartney, Wings, or Paul McCartney & Wings. It’s just so confusing. Side note, Band on the Run is one of my favorite songs of all time. It’s 3 songs in one, and one of them is practically guaranteed to fit your current vibe. A “musical cheat code” if you will.