Making fun of the Beatles is NEVER OK

I was wondering when someone would be back with another one of those block rocking beats. Turns out, today was the day. And by today, I mean 1997, when this record was blasting in some eastern block, post-soviet prison, being used to torture the dissidents. As my mother would say, "It's WAY TOO LOUD!"

Much like my landlord and ex lovers, this record takes forever to change keys. After three "songs" and more than 20 minutes, it mercifully ventures away from the key of B. This feels like a concept album. And the concept is an 80's synth pop opera that sucks.

The verse that they rap from the perspective of a fish on "Underwater Rimes" is transcendent.

"Learning to Crawl" is one of my favorites. This album is NOT "Learning to Crawl." And for that, it will be punished.

I'm not much of a Pearl Jam guy.

This guy needs to get his horse's legs looked at by a vet. Their sound drones a bit too.

Bass player was drunk and forgot to show up to work!

It's not on Spotify. So it's in the bin.

Elite. One of the best experimental rock albums ever made, perhaps only beaten by its predecessor.

I take a fat shit on this album every morning.

I used to have fun with this album. When I was a child.

Great keyboard. Harmonica and sax were a tad corny for me, though.

Absolutely not.

I like their sound and message. Not particularly compelled by the songs themselves however.

I mean what are we even doing...

Any album that establishes Will Smith as a fraud within the first 10 seconds gets five stars from me.

Listening to this while commuting in a dense and freezing Seattle fog was surreal. And anything that establishes Timon and Pumba as frauds halfway through the record gets an automatic five stars from me.

Jaco is a mad man.

Meh. I got a little bored

Brown Sugar is kind of fucked up, right? Knocking feels like pretty out-of-character Santana-inspired jam, which is cool, though they deny the influence in interviews. So good though.

This band goes hard.

Hell yeah. Why don't they make live records at prisons more often? Basically this and the Lone Rangers from the Airheads movie. Sex Pistols too. What if Vampire Weekend make a "Live from Rikers Island?" That shit would be rad. Weird coincidence that Steve Buscemi plays bass for Lone Rangers and his nephew plays bass for Vampire Weekend.

Some serious shit going on...in the ghettooooooo.

I'm starting to think that life has been extraordinarily difficult for Black people in America for many years

I love the Ronettes. I HATE Christmas music. And Phil Spector is literally a murderer.