I mean, if the songs don’t do it for you then there’s still an entire comedy act in between them all.
Johnny Cash at San Quentin is the 31st overall album and second live album by American singer-songwriter Johnny Cash, recorded live at San Quentin State Prison on February 24, 1969, and released on June 16 of that same year. The concert was filmed by Granada Television, produced and directed by Michael Darlow. The album was the second in Cash's conceptual series of live prison albums that also included At Folsom Prison (1968), På Österåker (1973), and A Concert Behind Prison Walls (1976). The album was certified gold on August 12, 1969, platinum and double platinum on November 21, 1986, and triple platinum on March 27, 2003, by the RIAA. The album was nominated for a number of Grammy Awards, including Album of the Year and won Best Male Country Vocal Performance for "A Boy Named Sue." There have been several releases with different songs and set order. The album cover photo by Jim Marshall is considered to be an iconic image of Cash, with Marshall Grant's Epiphone Newport bass guitar famously silhouetted in the foreground.
I mean, if the songs don’t do it for you then there’s still an entire comedy act in between them all.
Well, that's just a damn good album. Cash can be hit and miss for me but this was 100% a hit. Every track perfect and powerful. Even more so knowing his audience for this one. Just damn good. His reputation is earned. Elvis be damned. Cash is King.
I have a T- shirt from this concert - a shirt with the photo of him giving the finger to the filming crew during the show since they were blocking the audience's view. I have ultimate respect for Johnny doing the series of concerts at jails. He was likely the only person of substance who gave respect to inmates who he didn't know. Before "Don't Know Where I'm Bound" Johnny says that an inmate wrote that song and gave it to him the day before. Johnny played the song and gave the inmate songwriting credit. Respect. Zeppelin and others could learn from him. San Quentin is a powerful song about the problems with the prison system. Of course the inmates loved it. Johnny was able to give the hard message about the prison system while being careful not to blame the particular prison or disrespecting the guards. It's hilarious how Johnny mentions to the crowd that he might play "Boy Named Sue" and gets no reaction. I guess this concert is when he first recorded it so the audience had no clue. Great idea to release the live version of this single since the audience reaction hearing it the first time adds a special dimension. Johnny would know that the prison audience would relate more to this song than other audiences since a substantially higher portion of prisoners are raised without their fathers. Many headline artists get musicians who have independent careers to play with them on tour. Most, however, don't let them sing their own songs. Johnny not only had Carl Perkins, Statler Brothers and Carter Family sing their own songs, but also left the stage so as not to distract the audience. Johnny still did this with his bandmates when I saw him in the early 90s. When I saw him he also brought his reverend on stage and said anyone who was having problems with life could talk with him afterwards. He also introduced his reverend at San Quentin after "Outside Looking In". The medley to end the show is amazing. Johnny lets the others on stage sing the final songs. June singing the first verse of Folsom is the highlight. As much as I complain about drum solos, I quite like the quick solo in the medley. The show ends with Johnny giving a shout out to the prisoners who, probably for safety or disciplinary reasons, couldn't leave their cells to watch the show. I give the album a 4 based on the music but +1 for the respect he shows everyone (well, perhaps not the filming crew but to everyone else.)
There's no question that this album is powerful, and the fact that he played at a prison, and the interaction with the audience of prisoners is beyond remarkable. HOWEVER, Johnny Cash released 97 albums in his career, 3 of which are on this list. Did 2 of the 3 need to be live albums from prisons?
On the face of it, the music is quite rudimentary. The atmosphere, though, is absolutely electric, and Cash sounds like he's having the time of his life. Incredible, we won't hear anything like this again
Been way too long since I listened to this; I just love how loose and joyful it is. Interesting to listen now as I've been thinking more about prison abolition, decriminalization, etc. over the past few years. Johnny Cash was pretty damn radical and badass.
Great album already liked Johnny Cash. I did not like the bleep sound they used. My distaste for censoring in songs aside, it's an awful sound
The TV recording is off the scale brilliant. https://youtu.be/PSLsfwTbo4Q
Great albums transport you, this album transports you to a time and place like almost no other. Great tracks, great vibe, a true classic deserving of this list.
Johnny Cash comes out swinging with a raucous album of outlaw country. Where ‘Live at Folsom Prison’ took a more contemplative tone, this album was high energy throughout. An absolutely exhilarating show
so cool — the cheer after “San Quentin, I hate you through and through”, JC singing “Peace in the Valley” to violent criminals, and the introduction of “A Boy Named Sue”.
I get why this album is included and it's significance, but the only thing worse than a live album is a live album from prison.
Such great energy in this performance. What makes it so special is how much care and consideration Cash put into catering to his audience to give them the best possible show they could hope for. The song choices tell a story that surely rang true to the people he was playing for and that positive energy was returned right back to the stage.
The second album in Cash's "prison albums". This concert may be slightly overshadowed by the great "At Folsom Prison", but it's still great nonetheless. Cash is such a natural performer, his rapport with the audience makes you feel like he was a prisoner himself. Oh, wait, he was! They don't call it "outlaw country" for nothing, eh? He puts on a damn good show. You'll hear mention of Cash speaking of the cameras from the UK telling him what to do. Those very cameras would capture the famous image of Cash giving us the middle finger. You can tell, in that little bit of trivia, that Cash is a performer of the people. He doesn't care about the cameras, he cares about the people in front of him. It's a great measure of showmanship. There are natural highlights on the album: I Walk The Line and A Boy Name Sue are some of his best performances of all time. Even the lowlights are worth hearing too, especially the audience banter. This leads him to play the song "San Quentin" twice in a row, which is awesome. Yeah, this is an all-timer.
al principio me gustó, pero ya después me cansó
I guess I was enjoying it more than the Folsom Prison album. But it was only about 34 minutes, he spent a lot of time taking, and played the same song twice in a row. So how much did I enjoy? Like 10 minutes? Also, did Johnny Cash not know how to tune a guitar?
Straight up, this shouldn't be on this list, its more audio book than album, and the same song is played twice...
77. At San Quentin - Johnny Cash 31 tracks. He might have needed a captive audience to listen all the way through this. I managed it, but only because it was on @1001_albums_gen It's just not for me. I generally don't like Country & especially don't like Johnny Cash. 2/5
i dont care for the US, like, at all
Second live 60's Johnny Cash. I can't do this anymore. Please, let this be the last Johnny Cash.
The way this man treats the inmates with such respect and honesty while doing a great live show makes this one of the best live albums in my opinion. And this from somebody who neither is American, nor close to a boomer nor listens to jonny cash outside of this list.
Wow! Super enjoyable. My favorite part is how real this feels. Crowd interaction is wild, Cash’s personality seems genuine and very “fuck you”, song selection is all suitable energy. I thought I would hate the same song twice (San Quentin), but it somehow worked? Amazed to say the least… and all in a 35 minute package makes this a 5 star country album to me
You could say it's CRIMINAL that this album is so short!
I mean, it’s Johnny Cash
Yeah, this album is fantastic. I like it even better than Folsom. The Legacy Edition is the way to go, with all the great bonus songs and performances by the Statler Brothers, Carter Family, Carl Perkins, etc. Johnny Cash was amazing as always. Cool and empathetic. And his band is so tight here. There are so many moments where they have to pivot based on Johnny's ad-libbing or to wait for the audience to laugh or cheer. Not easy stuff to pull off. One of the great live albums.
while not as good as folsom prison, johnny cash noodling with prisoners between songs is always a good time
Clearly quite a show, but the music is a bit too 'gee shucks I'm an outlaw' simple country for me
This Johnny Cash album was recorded live at the San Quentin State prison in California in February of 1969. This was his second album of a series of live albums recorded at prisons, and it was also his 31st album overall. This album has been certified triple platinum. At this live prison show, Johnny Cash performed 2 new songs - "San Quentin" (about the prison) and "A Boy Named Sue". The former song was performed twice as an encore and both appear on this album. The latter song became a staple of Johnny Cash's music, and it's amazing to learn he premiered it at a prison show. The original release of this album was alright, but the reissue with 9 extra tracks was much better. Johnny Cash was a great entertainer and it really shows on this live album, because the audience were all inmates that liked to heckle. If you're a fan of live albums then give this one a listen, but if you just want to listen to Johnny Cash's music then you may want to try a different album.
Country music in a prison is still country music. I knew some of the songs but I did not enjoy the songs. I have no need to revisit the album or really any of the songs again. It is better than some of the albums on the list. It is better than a one but not really a two. I will round down.
What else can I say? Johnny Cash already rocks, and for him to rock like this in front of an audience of prisoners is so powerful. Writing San Quentin and performing it to give these prisoners a voice when they feel they don't have one is just something else. The cheering from them must have been so cathartic. Perfect live album. The whole performance stood out, I can't pick just a few tracks.
A remarkable piece of history. Even though from reading about it, this isn't the full recording, it's well put together and has a real feel of being in the room and a slight air of menace even all these years later. Playing San Quentin and then San Quentin again straight after and positioning it as improvised is a masterstroke
A new favorite!! Love love love it!!!
Overall, "At San Quentin" is a must-listen for fans of Johnny Cash and country music. It showcases Cash's talent as a performer and songwriter, and captures a moment in music history that is both powerful and moving.
The Godfather Part II of live prison albums. The Man In Black sings a few too many slow, depressing tunes in front of his captive Folsom audience. This album is more of a party. Be sure to listen to the Legacy Edition, which includes many more songs, since Johnny not only brought June Carter to San Quentin, but the freaking Statler Brothers and Carl Perkins as well. Johnny must have liked the inmates at San Quentin more than the ones stuck in Folsom Prison.
What are the odds our group would get this album the day after we listened to Cash Live at Folsom Prison!? I'm trying not to let the fact we just heard Cash live from a prison affect my rating. It feels strange to have two live albums from Cash here, but I think they represent different things. Live at Folsom helped revitalize his career, and Live at San Quentin feels like a continuation of that success as his fame grew - British TV filming him, Cash still actin' gruff and wanting to perform for locked up men. Also where his famous middle finger photo was from! || I'd say both Cash live albums deserve to be on this list, as strange as it seems, because of how different they are! This one in particular is great to hear the crowdwork chat and some of the other acts.
Johnny Cash does a great set for the lads at San Quentin, and there's a clear feeling of 'but for the grace of God' in the way he speaks to the prisoners between songs. I enjoyed listening to this very much.
If this was only Johnny Cash singing 9 of his lesser known songs, this wouldn't have been a very appealing album to me. Not a big fan of country music. But this is a prime example of an album being grater than the sum of its parts. Okay songs and a solid performance, but the interaction with and reactions from a room full of prisoners elevate the whole experience. Not a single song saved, but I might listen to the whole thing again sometime.
The man in his pomp! Not entirely sure why we needed live in San Quentin and live in Folsom in the same list though!
Conceptually, I like the idea of this record. Musically, not as much. Not a Cash or country music fan. All of these songs sound the same to my ears. All I can picture when I hear these songs are those old time-y teeter-totter railroad car things. You know what I’m talking about? Two people stand on this small railroad “car” thing with a teeter totter bar and they take turns pushing the bar down to make the car move forward on the tracks…oompah, oompah, oompah…up and down, over and over. It can be quite maddening. If that’s your thing, more power to you…it ain’t for me. I’ll say this, though. Johnny Cash was pretty funny with his stage banter.
Classic Johnny Cash. Not as good as Folsom Prison?
Johnny Cash is fine but for me he’s just kind of boring. I like his deep singing voice but there’s nothing about him musically that blows me away.
boring
Not my favourite
not terrible, but also not my cup of tea.
Just another lame JC album. 1.5/5
Best Song: San Quentin. It was tough not to like it given how much the audience appreciated the song. Worst Song: Darlin' Companion. The song is just okay, and the prolonged talking goes on way too long. Overall: I understand times were different, but I cannot fathom why in 2022 I'm listening to hard, censored beeps over every bit of profanity. Were the originals lost? Regardless, the live setting here doesn't really help the overall presentation. It certainly feels like everyone at the show was having a great time, but the whole schtick of "they tried to tell Johnny Cash what to do but he don't listen to authority" just comes off as cheesy. The "casual" mentions to dope and song stealing also come off as pandering.
I personally wasn't that impressed by his songs. They were boring. Other people may be like the album, but not me.
we've already had johnny cash doing a gig in a prison. i don't get how both of them are essential listening.
BBC One- 8pm - Cash in the Attic. Johnny Cash hides in the attic of an unsuspecting celebrity, spying on their every move. This week Johnny observes Pat Sharp have an argument with a plumber and then maturbating furiously to a old polaroid photo of the Fun House twins.
pretty short kinda neat 2.5
the end couldn't have come sooner. his voice is v soothing but for some reason I don't like him. only liked 3 songs.
Most of the songs sound the same. I enjoy the hits, but even then he seems super low energy or perhaps he was on day 3 of a bender. Not his best.
Country music or rock n roll aren’t really my thing
He has always been great country singer. Not a big C fan but he is an American Icon. Boy named Sue was fun for such a serious guy! Definitely knows how to rhythm his words.
no soy americano
Disliking the live version 1.5/5
Not my forte. Didn’t finish 😢
## In-Depth Review of *At San Quentin* by Johnny Cash **At San Quentin**, recorded live at California’s San Quentin State Prison on February 24, 1969, stands as one of Johnny Cash’s most iconic and influential works. This album not only captures Cash at the height of his powers as a performer but also serves as a raw document of empathy, rebellion, and social commentary. Below is a comprehensive analysis of the album, focusing on its lyrics, music, production, themes, and lasting influence, along with a balanced assessment of its strengths and weaknesses. --- ## **Lyrics** The lyrics on *At San Quentin* are a study in directness, wit, and social observation. Cash’s songwriting and song choices for this performance are tailored to resonate deeply with the inmate audience, creating an atmosphere that is both intimate and electric. - **“San Quentin”**: Written specifically for this performance, the title track is a blistering indictment of the prison system. The lyrics, “San Quentin, may you rot and burn in hell,” are delivered with a venom that electrifies the audience, reflecting the inmates’ own anger and frustration. The song’s repeated performance-Cash played it twice at the crowd’s insistence-underscores its immediate impact and the authenticity of Cash’s connection with his listeners[1][3][5]. - **“A Boy Named Sue”**: Premiered at this concert, Shel Silverstein’s humorous yet poignant song is a highlight. Cash’s delivery is both playful and gritty, and the lyrics’ themes of masculinity, hardship, and reconciliation strike a chord with the audience. The laughter and cheers from the inmates show how well the story lands in this context[1][4]. - **Classic Hits**: Songs like “I Walk the Line,” “Folsom Prison Blues,” and “Wreck of the Old 97” are included, their lyrics taking on new dimensions when performed for an incarcerated audience. “Folsom Prison Blues,” in particular, is transformed from a country standard into a cathartic anthem for the prisoners[2][4]. Cash’s stage banter is as significant as the songs themselves. His jokes, quips, and direct engagement with the inmates blur the line between performance and conversation, further humanizing both himself and his audience[4]. --- ## **Music** Musically, *At San Quentin* is rooted in Cash’s signature blend of country, rockabilly, and folk, but the live setting injects a raw, spontaneous energy that studio recordings can’t replicate. - **Band and Arrangements**: Backed by the Tennessee Three, Cash’s band delivers a lean, driving sound. The arrangements are stripped-down, emphasizing rhythm and Cash’s commanding baritone. The simplicity of the music allows the lyrics and the emotional intensity of the performance to take center stage[1]. - **Guest Performers**: The concert features appearances by June Carter, the Statler Brothers, and Carl Perkins, adding variety and a sense of camaraderie to the proceedings. Their contributions, especially on tracks like “Jackson” and “Darling Companion,” provide moments of levity and warmth amid the heavier material[4]. - **Live Atmosphere**: The music is sometimes rough around the edges-missed notes, off-the-cuff improvisations, and laughter abound-but these imperfections enhance the authenticity of the performance. The sound is unvarnished, capturing the immediacy of the moment[1][4]. --- ## **Production** Produced by Bob Johnston, *At San Quentin* benefits from a production style that prioritizes authenticity over polish. - **Recording Quality**: The album was recorded live with minimal overdubs or corrections. The mix captures the ambient noise of the prison gymnasium, the shouts and cheers of the inmates, and even Cash’s interactions with the British TV crew filming the event[1][4]. - **Editing Choices**: The original release was concise, but later editions (such as the Legacy Edition) include additional tracks and performances, providing a fuller picture of the concert. The decision to leave in Cash’s banter and the audience’s reactions was crucial, as these elements are integral to the album’s impact[4]. - **Sound**: The production is intentionally raw, with microphones picking up every nuance of the live environment. This approach immerses the listener in the setting, making it feel as though you are part of the audience[1][4]. --- ## **Themes** *At San Quentin* is thematically rich, exploring issues of justice, redemption, rebellion, and empathy. - **Prison and Justice**: The central theme is the experience of incarceration and the flaws of the prison system. “San Quentin” is an explicit critique, while other songs, such as “Folsom Prison Blues,” reinforce the sense of solidarity between Cash and the inmates[3][5]. - **Rebellion and Defiance**: Cash’s performance exudes defiance-not just in his lyrics, but in his attitude toward authority. His famous middle finger gesture, captured during the show, has become an enduring symbol of rebellion[4]. - **Empathy and Compassion**: Cash’s willingness to perform for prisoners and his genuine efforts to connect with them reflect a deep empathy. He gives voice to the marginalized, urging listeners to consider the humanity of those behind bars[2][5]. - **Humor and Humanity**: Despite the heavy subject matter, the album is laced with humor and warmth. “A Boy Named Sue” and Cash’s banter provide comic relief, while songs like “Peace in the Valley” offer moments of hope and reflection[4]. --- ## **Influence** *At San Quentin* had a significant impact on music, culture, and perceptions of the prison system. - **Career Milestone**: The album was a commercial and critical success, revitalizing Cash’s career and cementing his status as a cultural icon[2][5]. - **Social Impact**: By highlighting the plight of prisoners and critiquing the justice system, the album contributed to broader conversations about prison reform and the treatment of inmates. While it may not have directly changed policy, it raised awareness and humanized a marginalized population[2][5]. - **Musical Legacy**: The album’s raw, unfiltered approach influenced countless artists in country, rock, and beyond. It demonstrated the power of live albums to capture not just performances, but moments of social significance[2][4]. - **Signature Songs**: “San Quentin” and “A Boy Named Sue” became staples of Cash’s repertoire, with the former regarded as one of his signature songs due to its powerful message and association with this legendary performance[5]. --- ## **Pros and Cons** | Pros | Cons | |-----------------------------------------------------------|-----------------------------------------------------------| | Electrifying live atmosphere, palpable audience energy | Sound quality is rough compared to studio albums | | Powerful, socially conscious lyrics | Not all tracks are equally strong musically | | Cash’s rapport and empathy with the inmates | Some may find the humor and banter distracting | | Iconic performances of “San Quentin” and “A Boy Named Sue”| The original release omits some songs performed that day | | Raw, authentic production enhances the experience | Those uninterested in country or live albums may not enjoy| | Showcases Cash’s versatility and storytelling | Sometimes uneven pacing due to live setting | | Significant cultural and historical influence | Comparisons to *At Folsom Prison* may overshadow it | | Guest appearances add variety and warmth | Some listeners find the setlist repetitive | --- ## **Conclusion** *At San Quentin* is more than just a live album-it is a cultural document that captures Johnny Cash at his most rebellious, compassionate, and authentic. The combination of powerful lyrics, raw musical energy, and unfiltered production creates an immersive listening experience that transcends genre and era. While the album’s rough edges and live imperfections may not appeal to everyone, these very qualities are what make it a masterpiece of American music. The album’s themes of justice, empathy, and defiance remain as relevant today as they were in 1969. Cash’s ability to connect with the forgotten and the marginalized, to give voice to their struggles and hopes, is the heart of *At San Quentin*. It stands as a testament to the power of music to inspire change, foster understanding, and unite people across divides. Whether you are a fan of Johnny Cash, country music, or simply interested in music’s role in society, *At San Quentin* is an essential listen-an album that, in its imperfections, finds greatness.
Awesome music, legendary man. I like how he talks between the songs and treats the prisoners with respect. This whole concept of an album and the others like it are great. And the music is excellent.
He's wanted in most states. His music is wanted in most playlists! Absolute legend. Makes you want to leave your city and settle down in the countryside. Darlin' Companion was a favourite. Straight up flamed the snot out of San Quentin and the people love him. Every song is super fun.
This is the live from prison I have, and so know it well. It's a shame there are two live from prison albums on this list - I've had Folsome - but I'd acknowledge both are powerful. His end of career threw up some really interesting albums and listening to the same vibe twice isn't as interesting as hearing a bit more of the texture of Cash's career. But, hey, it's a classic.
What a great live album. The banter and songs with the crowd were amazing. The fact he wrote a song just for them is amazing as well. I liked Folsom better but this was still very solid.
A legend with some fantastic songs
Johnny Cash is a legend for a reason. I mean who else records multiple live albums in prisons. And they're really, really good too. He is one of the rare artists that gain a lot from having a live album, it shows the versatility and the impact his songs have. Songwriting is great like usual. The crowd interactions are great too, add some nice flavor. Easy 5.
Fantastic.
i don’t usually like music from the 60s but this album slaps
Live albums suck. This one doesn't. That's twice on this list that Johnny Cash has managed that. I think we don't necessarily need both At San Quentin and Folsom Prison on the list, but I can't deny that they're both excellent.
The lore behind this album is too fucking cool man. Mr. John Cash is a man of the people through and through. And they loved him for it.
Only Johnny Cash could go to a prison and sing a song he just wrote about how much that prison sucks right in front of that prison’s guards. Twice.
Generally do not like 'live' versions of songs/albums, but this one absolutely benefits from it.
Not a fan of live albums unless it’s Johnny Cash or Cheap Trick. This one captures the honesty of Johnny at his pinnacle. The banter is great and the songs sound amazing.
In my religion, this is a gospel album. Amen!
Mr. Cash is truly a good old boy. That was some natural crowd work. This guy is as American as apple pie. Apparently, he'll sing a song about how you and your city can go F yourself and you thank him for it. Loved it.
Felt like I was there. Johnny Cash is badass. I usually don't like live albums, but the beautiful simplicity of Cash and his songs makes it work. Great stuff.
Probably the best, most iconic live album ever
The fact that you have Johnny Cash showcasing his incredible voice and talent on this album is enough to earn it 5 stars, but when you consider the context it just gets even more incredible. To the Man In Black I salute you.
10/10 energy. 10/10 advocacy. 10/10 talent. And this is why we got Merle Haggard. What is not to be wowed by?
Oh man what a kick ass album! Not as good as live at folsom but still pretty good and it's great to hear how he was back then it was made! I love JC and this was a good album that is a classic and has some classic Johnny Cash songs!
Increíble. Escuché de jalón la versión Legacy. De una hora con cuarenta, que me pareció genial. Recomiendo escucharla al menos una vez y ya el resto de las ocasiones echarse el disco corto, pero al menos una vez escuchar las charlas y la cercanía que Cash logró con los presos en San Quentin. Esta hora y media, esas personas se sintieron libres, y me parece mágico que el álbum consiga transmitirlo.
10/10, banger. Hab seit GTA SA eine Schwäche für Johnny Cash 🤘
Amazing Record, one of the main reasons I love Johnny Cash
There are great albums ... and then there are a few an experience. This is both!
I don't normally like live albums at all. I wish they hadn't censored him. Compared to the Folsom Prison album, it's pretty similar in vibe. Really fun album, especially if you're a Johnny Cash fan. Man, I wish I could have seen him in concert. My Rating: 5/5. You really do need to listen to the whole album in order, you can't just shuffle it.
Really nice, he's just chatting too. The cheers of the crowd are loud, no phone in sight....
Sjukt bra album, sjukt bra konsept, fin fyr???
I got the first Johnny Cash prison album, At Folsom Prison, not too long ago. This is shorter and tighter, but another masterpiece.
I love the songs, but especially the interaction with the audience.
Ein grossartiges Album mit besonderen Zuschauer. Und natürlich Johnny Cash!
the guy that makes country a country himself, a legend
What an absolute gem of a recording.
Running back san quentin is wild
Excellent and great fun. The man in black at his best.
loved the banter and the crowd reactions were tingling …san quentin was a highlight
Another one in a long line of great live albums I have listened to. Cash's interaction with the audience and vice versa, his energetic and joyful performance, intertwined with humorous intermezzos make the experience of listening to this performance more than enjoyable.
Grew up with my daddy singing with Johnny on the radio
Love all the banter in the live recording
Sooo gut
Best live album ever?
Music is fine, but as an album, man, what an experience. Can't believe I've given two Johnny Cash albums 5s, but they're both (the same) great taste, and definitely one to hit on at least once. No wonder other artists love to put out mediocre live albums, they all want them to be like this.
This album is more about the crowd work than the songs. Johnny says what he wants, plays what he wants and the crowd loves it. One of the best examples of capturing the energy of being there. Every moment feels like it’s right on the edge of chaos.