1001 Albums Summary

these are the sounds going through the head of a divorced dad as he drinks lite beer at noon on a wednesday (hump day) and tries to identify the hookers in the motel parking lot (there arent any). he is on his way to texas and he doesnt know why (she took the kids). hillbilly highway slaps 2/5

chicago transit authority, a ragtag group of engineers, conductors, and bureaucrats, would go on to become the entire city of chicago, illinois, and while their poverty, wealth inequality, and gun violence rates continue to rise, their debut record remains one of the most widely acclaimed big band rock albums of all time. it's pretty good if you're into wind tunnels and deep dish pizza. questions 67 and 68? absolute banger. my dogs got upset about free form guitar but that's ok they just didnt get it. the worst song on the album is a semi-important civil rights anthem that kinda falls flat because they're all white and it's the most boring track musically. overall, liked it but not really my thing. 4/5 the chrysler building is beautiful at night, visit during the warm season

i recognize that this one is gonna be controversial for us, but this album slaps hard. it slaps hard today and it slapped hard in 2007. there's only one good single but the vibe is greater than the sum of its slaps. MIA's vocals are smooth and effortless slaps that both sting and cool. the first three tracks are intense, experimental slappers that slap firmly and get you all slapped up. her use of folk samples from around the world adds a certain depth of slap that was unique among hip hop slaps at the time and is executed in a really fun way. the middle third of the album was weaker and left me feeling unslapped but she slaps it back up in the last few tracks. paper planes is and will always be an eternal slap of a single and probably the slap she'll be remembered for but it stood out in the overall sound and felt sort of out of place to me. that said, come around was a perfect followup slap to end the album on. overall it's great, it's joyful and risky and socially conscious, a lot of love went into it and i miss MIA being cool. 4/5 ask not for whom the slap slaps, get vaccinated

what's this about? hard to say. it's a jazz ballet, that's cool. it's a great sound and mingus was undeniably a master. i like it but it's not his greatest work. in 1972, charles mingus would publish his only written work--an illustrated pamphlet that would go down in history as rivalling the great american writers of his time. this revelation, entitled The Charles Mingus CAT-alog for Toilet Training Your Cat, is a step-by-step guide on how to get your feline companion to use the toilet within just a few weeks, written in honor of mingus's own fur baby, Nightlife, with whom he successfully employed this very method. you start with a simple cardboard box filled with shredded newspaper--do NOT use kitty litter. get rid of your kitty litter, you don't need it anymore. where's your box now? it doesn't matter, anywhere is fine. EXCEPT the bathroom. if it's already in the bathroom, sister, you've given yourself extra work. take it out of the bathroom, gradually so as not to disturb your cat's habits, and work it to somewhere else in the house. this is where things get tricky. over the next couple weeks, however long it takes, move the box just a few feet per day toward the bathroom. if your cat starts shitting on the floor where the box was, you've moved it too far and lost a day. each time you move it, cut down the sides of the box by just a couple inches. eventually, you will reach the porcelain throne. at this point, stick the box on top of the CLOSED toilet seat with the sides shaved down to just about an inch--almost flat, but with enough height to avoid spillovers and secure it to the toilet with string, tape, or however you prefer. you're in the home stretch. in no time at all now your little guy or gal will be working the pot with the best of them. after a couple days of on-the-seat shitting, take the box, cut down the rest of the sides so it's flat, and put it over the open seat itself. keep using your shredded sunday times, but cut a little hole over the center so that the cat can see it. according to mingus, your cat is gonna go nuts for the hole. aim for it. expand it. he knows, somewhere deep down in the primal shared consciousness of all felines, that this is what he was meant to do. and that's pretty much it--you've hit gold. to quote the pamphlet, "at this point you will realize you have won." your cat is one step closer to achieving humanity, and your daily chores just got a little easier. flushing? oh, yeah, that should happen accidentally. if the cat hits the handle and sees that the toilet will bury the waste then he'll keep flushing or something. trust the process. anyway, i don't know or care enough about jazz to give this a 5 or a 3, but it was a really enjoyable listen and it's obviously impressive. 4/5 my cats are become as gods now

was i supposed to get high before listening to this or something? i wasn't around in 1983 but it blows my mind that this album was their biggest commercial success. it's like they threw everything at the wall trying to force a single and nothing stuck so they shoveled it all together and called it a record. it's a shameless beg for the three minute radio and television slots it managed to end up with. it's boring, generic jock rock without a single memorable moment on the entire album except for how phoned in the whole thing is. overused fadeout endings with no segues. slow, clunky, 3-note solos. awful drum machine action for no clear reason. lazy, cringey lyrics that boil down to "i love testosterone! why don't women want me?" if you put "classic rock" into a generative AI the random bullshit it came up with would have more heart than this garbage. i don't even have a joke or a bit for this one, it was just an unpleasant listen through and through. 1/5 best experienced via guitar hero on easy and nowhere else

this may not come as a surprise after my zz top review, but i adore simon & garfunkel. i grew up on them and they were one of the earliest artists i really loved. this album has some of their best songs, starting strong with Scarborough Fair, and keeping up that sleepy stoner energy throughout with Homeward Bound, The Dangling Conversation, Flowers Never Bend and For Emily. it's complex and beautiful folk rock that was composed and performed with great care. it takes itself just a little bit too seriously, and paul simon is more than a little bit pretentious, but there's some charm in that. this is quintessential S&G and is still solid today despite its specific mid 60s social message, maybe in part because of it. is this their best work? aside from other singles here and there, it might be. it's really good. i was planning to give this a 4 because it's a little too short and A Simple Desultory Phillipic and Pleasure Machine are really goofy and stand out for it, but to be honest i felt refreshed after listening to it twice in a row and decided it's my favorite album that's come up since i joined the group. 5/5 he even lets Art sing the lead a couple times

i'm really not that into jazz. if i were to compare this to the Mingus album, Mingus is the clear winner. but i guess jazz isn't supposed to be comparable or something so i won't do that. it's fine I guess? it felt boring and loungey to me a lot of the time and an hour of that just felt unnecessary, but he's a talented musician and composer and the social importance of being a big anti apartheid guy is undeniable. the afrobeat aspects of it were cool and what stood out the most to me. Maesha was far and away the most memorable track, Blues for Huey had great drum action. everything else I could take or leave. 3/5 not for me but kinda neat

how can you go wrong with a gay icon pop diva with the name of an old texas bluegrass guy? the answer is you can't. thank god for dusty springfield. without dusty there is no chappell. as a trans woman i'm contractually obligated to rate this a 5 and i have absolutely no problem with that. the only issue with this album is how much it must have sucked for her to put her whole ass into singing about loving men. 5/5 simple as

i started listening to this at a normal volume and found out pretty quickly that that's not the intended way to listen, so i turned my headphones all the way up. the problem is after i did that i could hear how bad it was. surprisingly boring stuff, and this coming from the girl who gave the simon & garfunkel album a 5. mudhoney were probably really fun to see in seattle underground venues and should have stayed there. the album has a few scattered moments of decent listening and i think i would have pretended to love it when i was 14, but at 28 I'm probably gonna forget it and never think about it again like everyone else. 2/5 i'm increasingly convinced that relative commercial success is the only factor in choosing these albums

i know next to nothing about rap and even less about 90s rap, but i really enjoyed this album. it's conceptual without being up its own ass and the beats and samples slap quite hard. it's over an hour long and dragged on a bit for me but that's in part because I'm just not usually into rap. overall i felt like i experienced some really good music that i wouldn't have sought out otherwise, and i think that's what this project is about. 4/5 woot aang

as a Licensed Progressive Rock Hater, i was surprised at how much i didn't hate this album at first. then it kept going and i did. i don't feel like elaborating today. 2/5 i progged your dad's rocks

hey did you guys know tom waits has a raspy voice? it doesn't seem like anyone noticed so i thought I'd point it out. it's good music. i was bored at times and I'm not likely to revisit it but i get it. it's polished, catchy, bluesy rock and he is who he is for a reason. i'm not really into the glass-of-whiskey-at-midnight-in-a-smokey-dive-bar vibe but it's enjoyable nonetheless, and i actually think his voice is what makes him stand out from the rest despite sometimes crossing the line into comically ridiculous. also, can someone explain to me what it means for a girl to look like a cadillac? thx. 3/5 tom waits for no man

i had never heard of Mercury Rev before today and i fell in love with this album within the first minute. creative, poetic, catchy as hell when it's not being weird as hell, this might be my favorite album of the project so far. feels like a direct influence for some of the big aughts indie rock groups like MGMT, Foster The People and Portugal The Man. i saved a couple tracks to my personal playlists, namely Holes, Opus 40 and Goddess on a Hiway. i can't believe i've never listened to this before. 5/5 i would inject a theremin into my veins if i could

this album starts with the only steely dan song i know so i already at least kinda liked it immediately. i don't consider myself a fan of this brand of jazzy rock but it was a really fun and enjoyable listen. i may not have loved every song but i have nothing bad to say and i can imagine it was a blast to write and record. this is an easy 4 from me. album cover looks like danny devito. 4/5 where is his brother irony steve

funky & smooth, robust & bold 4/5 good coffee

i love Blondie and i hate the cover of this album. it's like beetlejuice meets the beatles meets a bunch of fucking nerds. this album opens really strongly with Hanging on the Telephone and then moves straight into probably their most famous hit of all time. it keeps up with the high energy, more traditional-sounding rock for most of the album while keeping it interesting and creative. there's not a ton of variation in the sound on this album but when it's this good there doesn't need to be. overall this is super up my alley and this one squeaks just up to a 5 for me. 5/5 they should call the rest of them the brunette boys

i hate ozzy as a person but i was ready to like this album, and overall I'm very mixed on it. one minute into War Pigs, i thought "wow, this kinda fucks." three minutes in i thought "wow, this is really long." both are true. what ended up surprising me the most about this album was how sleepy and boring so much of it was. Planet Caravan made me need to go make coffee. it almost feels like it's missing an instrument at times or the remaster is off or something. in my opinion the long track times only work for Iron Man and Fairies Wear Boots. neither my feelings on ozzy nor sabbath have changed but by the end it managed to sway me up to a 3; Rat Salad and Fairies Wear Boots are bangers, there are some great riffs and solos in here and I really don't hate his lyrics. i won't revisit it but if anything it's nice that this is one i really had to think about. 3/5 rat salad, yummy yummy

for some reason it was Fitter Happier that made me decide to give this album a 5. that feels like a very cringe decision but sometimes you just need the angst. im usually pretty neutral on Radiohead but this album slaps. it's got all their best hits, it keeps you on your toes and it just does not stop giving. 5/5 bring down the government

the scottish board of tourism should do their best to bury this album at the bottom of the sea and replace all images of this band with cut out faces of members of the proclaimers and runrig

i had a weird experience with this album. i listened to it on the way to the gym and in the space of 10 minutes i experienced: -a tow truck blocking both lanes of traffic on cary while the driver walked around it as slowly as possible -somebody's burst water pipe pouring up through their lawn and into the road -3 guys on motorcycles doing wheelies and weaving through traffic whom i ended up behind for the rest of the commute terrible drive. very strange. fun sound though. 4/5 good soundtrack to stress and chaos

i saw bob dylan live in 2015. his vocal range had been reduced to 2 low notes that sounded like the buzzes of carpenter bees, he stood rooted in a shoulder width stance in front of the mic almost the whole time like he was nailed down, and he only played songs from after 2000. i think someone actually had to help him get to the piano behind him at one point. it was a little disillusioning and i had a hard time listening to full dylan albums again after that. i love bob dylan, but i truly believe that the best thing he ever did was help The Band become a thing. i didn't enjoy this as much as i hoped i would. 3/5 don't smoke kids

GHOST RIDER MOTORCYCLE HERO HEY BABY BABY BABY HE'S A-LOOKIN SO CUTE this is another one where i had never heard of the band and had no idea to expect but fell in love immediately. this scratches a very particular itch. it's a weird and wonderful subversion of 70s rock that doesn't care what you think of the constant buzzing that serves as the backing for most of the album. i was having a bad day and it's possible that i only like it so much because i was already in an angsty place when i started it but this album slaps so hard it actually turned my mood around. yes, even Frankie Teardrop, (which deserves it's own paragraph for being so horrendous. it was awful to listen to for 10 minutes and that's why it's essential. this point in the album begs you to fuck off and listen to something else but you just can't. Frankie Teardrop is a challenge to anyone who liked all the experimental tracks before it that were by comparison far more accessible. the band is called Suicide, the album is called Suicide, and you thought you could just walk away from that? this epic noise punk thesis ends with the words "we are all frankies," and after the track finally ends you might feel like that's true, so checkmate snowflakes) because that's just where i am today. 5/5 what the fuck is synth punk

oh my god, so boring. this is sinatra strung out on barbituates and whiskey, singing his lowest effort shopping mall bossa nova and saying "hey cats, check out this brazilian fella i found. i make him play these jazzy little guitar progressions at half the volume as everything else. in't that swell?" look how shocked i am that this lost the grammy to Sgt Peppers. look how shocked i am that they scrapped their second collaboration. it's not a coincidence that the album cover has sinatra in the foreground twice the size of jobim in the background. jobim deserved better. the orchestra deserved better. 2/5 sinatra gets one point for waking up from his medically induced coma in the last three tracks

i always thought it was a missed opportunity for Mr Blue Sky to not have been used in the Breaking Bad soundtrack. anyway i really like this album. i just do. it's just fun. last night olivia and i got wasted at babe's and i listened to the first half when we got home and it was great. i don't have a lot more to say than that. 4/5 real queer summer hours

for me, this album does what the sinatra album was supposed to. it's a very chill vibe, smooth and relaxing, but it's also actually interesting to listen to. i had a nice time with it. 4/5

liam is this power pop or just punk? anyway i liked it. it got me going. revved me up as i drove at full speed through the easter traffic in front of st stephen's (all crossing guards are bastards). i felt like it was pretty much the same sound throughout which kind of lost me, but that's not unusual for 70s punk and overall it's very tight and a good listen. another band that was likely better live. may do again louder. 4/20

where is HALLELUJAH as featured in SHREK by rufus wainwright/john cale/leonard cohen/jeff buckley/pete wentz's suicidal depression? it's not here. i thought that was his only song. i don't really care for his other music do i this reminds me of a sleepier simon & garfunkel. it's sort of a transitional folk album that almost becomes rock sometimes but mostly stays the same. highlights for me are his lyrics and i didn't hate the overall vibe. so long, marianne was the only one that i really got into. but i did get really, really sleepy listening to this, which was NOT good because i was driving. having given our s&g album a 5, i can't deduct too much from this, because the biggest difference is that one has sentimental value for me and one doesn't. weirdly intense album cover. 3/5 i think i need to give paranoid another shot

look. i love theremins. i fucking love theremins. and i love beth gibbons' vocals. and what can i say? i love the 90s. i'm a slut for millennial nostalgia. the creepiness of this album had me right away. it sounded x-files inspired, and i think they had at least one song featured on buffy, and i got into it immediately. and it keeps up the creepy experimentality to great success the whole time. the sampling, the synth fucking, all of it works together for a really fantastic and weird album. overall, the vibe is incredible and this is an album that will i absolutely be listening to again in the future. 5/5 90s goth kids are either parents to goth kids or still goth kids now

more british electronic shit. i have a lot of "love at first sound" moments with the albums in this project and this was the opposite. i hated it from the moment the vocals came in on track 1 and it never grew on me. vapid, noisy garbage easily blown out of the water by any other pop soloist or DJ doing a similar thing at the same time. i'm not impressed by someone mixing random samples in their garage in 2000. the shrill beeping noise that my car dashboard makes every 60 seconds actually improved my listening experience for once. thank god we've moved on from this moment in DJ pop. 1/5 fuck a disc 2

i'm not sure i've ever had more neutral feelings about a rock album. it's like this music hits room tone and just blends into the background for me. a little bit Oasis, a hint of Steely Dan at times, it's just... fine. extremely plain 90s alt rock, you can hear the aughts rock radio hits being written in the background. i don't hate anything about it and i don't love anything about it. the only thing that really stood out was Rob's Theme, an odd but appreciated way to end the album. 3/5 sure, whatever