The White Room
The KLF
Apparently these guys burned a million quid in the back of some boathouse as an artistic statement about how wealth controls people more than people control wealth. That's a million pounds that could've gone to any charity. Sure, it's not as bad as anything the billionaires are doing, but it's still pretty damn morally objectionable. As for the music... it's pretty bad. There's a reason people say EDM aged poorly – today's audiences want intense, complex, catchy material – though frankly I can't even understand what the appeal back in the 90s was. There's extremely little to absorb in each song, hardly any chord progressions or melodies of interest, hooks that technically exist on paper but are just bland and annoying in practice, close to zero musicianship, weak lyricism... Be honest, would you want to go to a KLF concert? Or perform a cover of a KLF song? Yeah, figured. I can't imagine these are very fun songs to perform as a musician. My attempt at a track-by-track breakdown, as you'll see below, was kind of futile, because the tracks sounded pretty similar. The Spotify version is missing most tracks, so I listened to the 1991 North American release on YouTube instead. That's the one that starts with a Justified And Ancient excerpt, a somewhat lacklustre electronic dance piece that shifts directly into the similarly uninteresting What Time is Love?. That's about all the duo has going in terms of intrigue and originality: song transitions. You can tell this was intended to be played as a cohesive piece of art. Another solid transition brings us into Make It Rain, where we at least get a melodic instrument other than the weak club-shouty vocals. It's a sax. Decent, although only nominally, because something about its recording makes it sound... inorganic. Almost synth-like. After the completely forgettable 3 AM Eternal, we get some nice high synths in both Church of The KLF and Last Train to Trancentral. The latter definitely gets a shoutout, for having the first instance of ear-catching lyrics and some legitimately pretty cool synth SFX. Then Build A Fire gives us some actual physical instruments to work with. You're telling me these guys have heard of lead guitar, bass, and drums? I wouldn't have guessed. This is the first song I'd actually be willing to listen to again without compensation. Though The White Room drops most of the better, more human-like textures, it still has a decent groove. Solid vocal line in the chorus especially, and those low bass synths also contribute a lot to the song's danceability. (Man, could side 2 really rescue this record from the fiery depths?) No More Tears finds a reasonable, if ridiculously clichéd, chord progression. Coupled with the bass and (mixed down) guitar rhythm, plus the free, happy vocals, it sounds kind of like electronic reggae. I enjoy the piano instrumental in the latter half too. Justified And Ancient – the full version – sends us off on a decent but cheesy note. I like the line "They don't want to upset the apple tart". (Looking it up, it's actually "cart", but I like my version better.) Still, that first side of music is so horrendous that I can't give this more than a 2. 2/5 Key tracks: Last Train to Trancentral, Build A Fire, No More Tears