Album Reviews

117. Parachutes - Coldplay (2000) 6.19.26 Variety: 2 Adequacy: 4 Listenability: 3 Uniqueness: 1 Emotionality: 2 = 2.4 rounded down to a 2 "You'd kill yourself for recognition/ Kill yourself to never, ever stop" Coldplay is one of those bands that people LOVE to hate on. And maybe with good reason. As much as I try to avoid celebrity gossip and that kind of junk pop culture, when there's so much of it about certain people, some is bound to seep through. Let's ignore all that though and look at these guys as a musical act. While never near the top of any list of mine, I think it's pretty impossible maintain any sort of shock that they were successful. Their hits at least are all pretty melodically forward, very easy to digest, and aimed squarely at the mainstream. As i get older, I find it harder to dismiss something entirely just because it isn't my cup of tea. At least I find it harder to shit on stuff. I also find it entirely worth my time to at least dip in and take a look at these huge acts that didn't necessarily ever gel with me. Yes, believe it or not, when something leaves a giant pop cultural footprint, it's worth investigating why. That doesn't mean you have to like it, but there's a reason it connected with SO many people. THE TRACKS "Don't Panic" - I had thought the only track I would recognize on here was "Yellow", and had assumed all the other hits had come on later albums. But nope. I remember always reading comparisons to Radiohead and Travis way back when, and I can sort of here it in the focus on melody, the slick production and the incorporation some interesting instrumental swings that recall mid period U2. This is perfectly fine, low key sad boy stuff, and is very hummable. "Shiver" - I'll be damned, another one I recognize. I hear a little more Grandaddy and some Doves in here this time. While it doesn't necessarily bother me, I can see how Martin's voice could grate on some people. He seems to vacillate between lazy, almost slurred delivery and his falsetto for the chorus. This is pretty damn catchy as well. "Spies" - Alright, maybe I have heard this whole thing before? My wife might own this actually, I'll have to check ( she does not - so where have I heard all these?). Starting to see some of the criticism of Martin's vocals. If every song you sing is sung like a love song, are they all love songs? Or are none of them? Maybe I'm confusing the permanently dreamy, just woke up delivery for something it's not. This is very middle of the road, and apart from the nice guitar tremolo, not much here I could find to interest me. Also, the "epic" ending felt very unearned. "Sparks" - Another one I recognize! This was a nice bit of a slow hangovery shuffle. Catchy, and pretty in all the right places. Martin's voice serves this pace a little better maybe. "Yellow" - Woof. Ok. I get it. It's super catchy, and a sing-a-long chorus that seems tailor made for big arena concerts. I can see it. I just hate both Martin's delivery here - it presages the baby-doll, "indie girl" or "cursive" singing that people all complain about nowadays. This is the SAME shit. Also the lyrics are the worst sort of placeholder nonsense. I don't mind dumb lyrics, or even nonsensical ones, but this one gets to me in the same way that Elton John's "Rocketman" does where it all SEEMS to make sense until you pay attention. Is yellow supposed to be the color of those stars? Is it some representation of happiness? I guess smiley faces are yellow? Some flowers are yellow? I don't know, but I tend to think disease and decay, decadence, or even urine when I think of yellow. I feel like I'm missing something obvious. Catchy, hooky, good arrangement. Hate the vocals, confused by the message. This is 20/20 hindsight, but the more cynical part of me can also see this as the moment Martin cracked the formula and his eyes briefly turned into cartoon $$s ( or ££s I guess?). His Eureka moment where he discovered the secret of separating millions of wine mom's from $15.98 plus tax. "Trouble" - The hits keep coming I guess. I really thought all this stuff was spread out among 2-3 albums. Another fine arrangement, and a very catchy vocal melody in both the verse, the main piano line, and a sweeping, soaring chorus. Martin seems to have an ok range, so I can't tell if the falsetto he slips into in between even syllables in the same word is a conscious decision of an affect. I think the song would be better without it, but would it be as successful. He's SO EMOTIONAL, you guys - you can really feel it in his delivery! "Parachutes" - Not really worth mentioning other than what a weird choice for your title track to be a nothing of barely an interlude. "High Speed" - Some noodly, much more basic feeling adult contemporary stuff here, more in the mold of a slow motion Dave Matthews. That said, Martin's voice is much more under control here and maintains a mainline feel. I also have heard this one though. Somehow. "We Never Change" - The first real dud on here for me. This one relies almost entirely on Martin and his sub-Nick Drake-isms. There's not much at all going on here instrumentally either. Maybe just a hint of some interesting atmosphere with that echoey twangy "Sleep Walk" guitar. "Everything's Not Lost" - This didn't really work for me either. This felt like a swing into a sort of attempt at a Warren Zevon or Randy Newmanesque 70s, witty piano ditty. Not these guys' strong suit, I have to say. I can imagine this was designed to be the moment the lighters coming out for at the live show. A much better sing-a-long chorus would be needed for that though. Closest thing to a wet fart on this album we've had yet. "Life Is For Living" - The hidden track. Are there any albums from '95-'01 or so that DIDN'T have a hidden track? Or two? "Guys that last track didn't work. We have to out-schmaltz it. TO THE COLD CAVE!" Some sort of weird take on a waltz, this feels less like an outro than a just plain unfinished song, one that also feels well outside their purview. HIGHLIGHTS - "Don't Panic" - "Shiver" - "Sparks" - "Trouble" MIDLIGHTS - "Spies" - "Yellow" - "High Speed" LOWLIGHTS - "We Never Change" - "Everything's Not Lost" - "Life Is For Living" FINAL THOUGHTS I didn't hate this by any means. It was full of a lot of nice melodies, nice production, fine playing, and interesting arrangements. My biggest issues were that it all seemed very self serious and had an aura of "this is important, this means something" that rubbed me the wrong way in the same way that U2's "Rattle and Hum" era stuff did. Martin's vocals also got old pretty fast, and I wish he'd had some more energy on some of these, and had varied his delivery a bit more. Might have to see if I can find any covers that hit me better to verify. I could be wrong though, maybe that just awake at 4Am after a night of heavy drinking voice is more of an integral part of the sound than i want to admit. There just wasn't anything worthy of any hatred, Mild contempt maybe? It's a professional sounding, hook-filled, hit delivery machine. I can look at this in the same way people might have looked at Christopher Cross in the late 70s/ early 80s. Finely crafted music aimed squarely at a particular audience, that was maybe unfairly maligned by the cool kids. Sure, I enjoy a bit of "Sailing" and I won't necessarily kick "Arthur's Theme" out of bed, but by the time "Ride Like the Wind" comes around, I'm a bit weary of the approach. Sure, ALL popular bands are guilty of repeating what works. But the best ones do evolve and provide some variety. Coldplay feels surprisingly fully formed here, and I'm willing to guess I could keep going through their discography without seeing very much development at all. As much as my younger self would hate to admit it, this does not feel like it was undeservedly loved by the masses. At least not in the way that it was baffling or anything. I can totally see why this went down smooth. It's just never was, and remains not my thing. You just won't catch me performatively turning the radio station in disgust or making a snide comment when I hear them. PLAYLIST ALTERATIONS - Those four catchiest ones are worth rescuing, but won't be making it anywhere near my 5-star playlist. FURTHER LISTENING - The Bends by Radiohead - Surfacing by Sarah McLachlan - Urban Hymns by The Verve - The Last Broadcast by Doves - The Man Who by Travis

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This album is so well produced. Anita Baker's voice is beautiful and unique. Great bass - funky at times - but cheesy keyboards. (DX7???) Overall it's a little too adult contemporary/MOR for me.

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_gish_ will always be my fav but this album is a masterpiece (as is _siamese dream_). haven’t listened to this in its entirety in a couple decades but man it is so good

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Nah, not for me.

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The 80s are my least favorite decade for music and this is VERY 80s, but it has some charm and I can appreciate the effort. If I were to attend an 80s themed party, I would gladly don my skinny tie, get out the hairspray and the eyeliner, and hope this comes on the stereo.

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First record from Bobby in a while after a lull. He probably deserves at least one 5 and it's gonna be this one. Tangled Up In Blue kicks it off strong and has always been my favorite Dylan song as someone who has never done a deep dive. Simple Twist of Fate; Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts; Buckets of Rain are my highlights, but this is about as close to perfect as you can get.

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A truism of music so true it’s banal itself is this: the more influential something is, the more hackneyed it seems when you go back to it. And Chic has many layers of that — you know the hits best from a playlist you first heard at a discount shop, you’ve heard the melodies interpolated into hip-hop and r&b, you resent this sound because it was done worse by the big musicians that recruited Nile Rodgers to do it for them to diminishing returns. Or maybe you just think disco sucks, a hand-me-down opinion that had some ugly partly-racialized origins. It’s the simplicity of their sound, however, that proved most influential — whittling down funk to its most basic ingredients and innovating techniques to capture its effects with less. That allowed so much space in the mix, which fueled pop music the world over, for better and for worse. But, strip all of that away, and this is still joyous, inspired stuff. Musically, the follow up Risqué is better with grooves that build and expand, but this is still a party of its own — opulent, elegant, both aspiring and aspirational.

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Mid folk rock. The only good track was "El Condor Pasa (If I Could)". The track "Bridge over Troubled Water" is okay. It's not the best rendition I've heard, but it gets a pass since it's the original. 2.5 stars.

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I feel like multiple listens could benefit here, but I feel safe giving this one a four. Love the vibe.

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Рычи в зоопарке

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I saw Sigur Ros just after this album came out, and thought then that they were good, but not as good as everyone else said they were. Labradford were far better that night. This album is ok, but revisiting it just reminded me that I have always thought they were overshadowed by their peers - GY!BE, Fly Pan Am, Labradford etc. And the vocals annoy me at times.

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Boring not my type at all. Very bluesy.

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Tres bon! Un seul mot BLONDIE

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Ahh. Punk rock at its punkiest. I remember “TV Party” was played on Dr Demento back in the 80s, but didn’t know anything else…

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A really good one.

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I was expecting something more funky and less acid rock but I still liked it, especially the title track.

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It’s hard to be objective because her voice grates on me. I’ve always heard about this album but refused to listen until now because of that. I mean let’s face it, she sings every song the same way. It feels so repetitive. So very repetitive. And then more repetitive. So I focused on the lyrics, and there are some beauties in there, so I guess that’s the appeal? I can find some appreciation for the lyrics. The River being my favorite. But it’s still not enough to make me ever want to sit through this again.

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Сара 4 Марко 4

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A German proto blue man group? Nice

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In the warm carousel of madness this endeavour represents, it is incredible to have Sgt. Peppers and Pet Sounds land within a a few days of each other. Wouldn’t it Be Nice has been my favourite Beach Boys song since I was 12 hrs old. It haunted my puberty crush fantasies, the most profound emotional crises a boy ever experiences. The surfer dude doo-wops become utterly shrouded in shadow on these tracks. And, taken as a whole, Pet Sounds is one of the best records I know. Knowing what happened to all these guys afterward makes it even more shattering.

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Yesterday I went into the Cantina at the new Star Wars land at Disneyland and the bartender leans over, sneakily gives me this, and whispers, “It’s not often we get a Resistance General in here. Thank you for your service.” I almost cried.

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Forgive me, generator, for I have sinned. It's been 720 albums since my last Radiohead record. In that time I have lusted after all styles of music, Kraut, Psychedelic, Reggae, Blues, Funk, and have worshipped at the altar of Saint Osbourne. I have strayed from the righteous path of Radiohead and I repent. I will go and say 9 Hail David Bowie and 6 Hail Elvis Costello and try to do better. This would be just about perfect if they dropped Sulk, Yorke gets to fucking whine singing that is so unappealing on their subsequent albums. Call me a heretic but this and Pablo Honey are their only albums that should be on the list.

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Oh fuck yeah. Oh hell yeah. As much as I love the Beastie Boys, I don't believe them when they say they were making fun of "frat boys and party bros" when they performed "Fight For Your Right." It's not like they grew up right away on Paul's Boutique...there's still a lot of hilarious shit and braggadocio on that album, too...they just had an ear for immaculate sounds and producing by the Dust Brothers. I don't think they really grew up and out of the immature phase until Check Your Head. But it sounds good for them to distance themselves from Fight For Your Right and Girls as quickly as they possibly could. This album is awesome...always has been, always will be. I keep seeing mentions about how it hasn't aged well, etc...but whatever, fuck that. This past weekend, I read an article on the DMV rap scene that was on Pitchfork...because I'm from the area, I was curious. And then I listened to some of the music from that article. All that shit makes Licensed To Ill look like nursery rhymes. The production here is immaculate. The bass is awesome. Sonically, it's a masterpiece. What a great album. Fun, hilarious, quotable...just great.

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Don't believe these liars.

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Quintessential slop

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Pioneers of the alternative rock sound that would define the following decade, the 1990s. R.E.M. was making the jangling guitar rock that would bear the labels of indie and college rock. When I came of age in the nineties this sound would find its commercial success. This entire album sounded about 5 years later than its 1988 release date suggests. Lower sounds abound and I mean listen to the distortion on “I Remember California” And yet, this sound is still a work in progress. The album is all over the place. In spots we have bouncy pop with “Stand” whereas others slow down for more intimate work, “The Wrong Child” or “Hairshirt.” We’re transitioning into new eras on this album. R.E.M. has a new label and creative freedom and they’ll use it. For me it all works. I appreciated R.E.M. as a radio and MTV friendly act during their time, even if I never owned an album. Still, terrific form from a band that was a staple of my younger years.

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Standard, late 60s English pop. Sounds like a Sgt. Peppers imitation, honestly. "Private Salts' Empty Kidney Association Troupe", I guess? A poor man's Sgt Pepper... Through the listen I couldn't take my mind off of this comparison and how this record arranged itself in a similar way, with each song feeding from the tracks before and informing the later tracks. An obvious concept album, so I see where the critics and write-ups make that comparison. The music is just standard stuff for the era though, with only a few really catching my ear but not for long. I hate to do this to The Kinks, because I like a bunch of their earlier work, but this one didn't take off for me (3/5). Reading the other reviews here, there's an angle I didn't consider -- how very English this **IS**. Numerous other reviewers talked about how it takes them to small, country villages, and (this is hyperbolic) tea times with aunties and crumpets and shit... ALL of that is lost on me. I've got no personal context for that. The music is middle of the road, unlike Sgt. Peppers, so nothing elevated it out of mediocrity and pulled me into that world The Kinks seemed to be trying to create. Here's my attempt to bend future lists out of the event horizon of all the British invasions and frankly insular English music world, with some keywords I keep using.. THE SUPREMES should have been included.. Anglo-centrism is bad.. Hope that helps.

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One of the easiest 5s ever. such an ambitious project, stuffed with a kaleidoscope of references to a state I may never visit, and with such a variety of great songs with fantastic songwriting. He played like 20 different instruments on this which is just mad Casimir Pulaski Day might be my favourite “sad song”, and very funny to think he didn’t come out until like 2023 when you read the lyrics to “Primordial Beast Of The Palisades” Very bold to have a song relating yourself to a pedophilic serial killer and have it not come off in the absolute worst way possible I always run out of steam a bit towards the end, first half is definitely stronger, but it’s all great still

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(1/5) So, would you like some warm ketchup on your lemon sorbet? It was pan seared by our best soux chef who is well known for his waygu beef entree, and it's served on a bed of pea gravel dipped in motor oil. What in the actual fuck is wrong with this list. Anglo-centrism (autocorrect has my number, now that I've thrown it around too much. That word pops up as soon as "Anglo.." is typed in...) strikes again. This assault of mediocrity in the form of lanky, disshelved English wankers and their "interpretations" of other music is borderline offensive. This is garbage music, and doesn't deserve a listen let alone a nod in a list that is supposedly music you **must hear before you die**. The first half was just bleh. A slightly confused effort at some reggae and ska inspired rock. It would have received a '2' if they had stayed the course. Just mediocre. The second half tipped the rest of the album directly into the rubbish bin (take that you bloody queue loving sods! Bite. My. Chips.) as of "Waiting for the Heartaches". Each song got progressively worse after that one. It sounds like they had some ideas, but absolutely no direction and little talent to pull it off. They blended various styles poorly and served it up as if it was worth listening to. Just throw it all on the plate! Someone will eat it. A few thousand English fans might. Not me.. This Britpop bullshit is a hard swallow and I'm dreading more of it, as I know the list is lousy with it. Eyeballing my "skipped this album" pass for the next one. I'm a long distance runner and I'm no stranger to discomfort and pushing myself in spite of it, but this aural assault is trying my patience.

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Another smart, articulate and catchy pop album. I loved 'Royals' when it appeared; it was clearly an instant classic and was one of the best songs of the decade. And I really dug 'Green Light' when it was released, but I mostly listened to pop on the radio and so never delved into the whole album. And it has been a real pleasure to acquaint myself with this record. Lorde works in the intimate public sphere (to use a concept from Lauren Berlant) that assumes women share a bond of communal longing and a "sense of lateral identification". This is a similar operation to Taylor Swift's 1989, a comparable and contemporaneous pop album (with a shared producer in Jack Antonoff). Interesting to compare; Swift feels a little bit more crafted and deliberate in her revelations, Lorde feels a little more unfiltered -- although interviews about her writing process suggest that Lorde is equally careful about what she is putting out there. Lorde and Swift are both smart and effective songwriters and performers, and unafraid of working in the pop genre. There is no shortage of big choruses, infectious beats, or hooks on this record. That's a good thing. The album stood up to multiple listening, and 'Liability' and 'Homemade Dynamite' stand out as particular highlights (alongside 'Green Light' which is an unapologetic banger). Lorde is great, but I am currently a little weary of the Jack Antonoff sound, which became ubiquitous in the past 15 years. I suspect that if I come back to this in ten years' time with fresh ears, it will have stood the test of time.

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I can’t believe the top review for this record (as of Dec 2023) is from someone trying to use their PhD in Mathematics as justification for not liking hip-hop. Weak.

Oh fuck yeah, now we're talking. Wait no, I swear I'm not being pretentious. This is the lowest rated album on this site because I guess mostly people aren't very fond of German people smashing metal plates together - who would have guessed. But halle-fucking-lujah, this is something this list needs more of. Albums that make you go "well, that was an experience and now I'm a changed man". Nobody is lying on their deathbed wishing they heard more crappy 80s post-punk or late 60s psychedelic rock. THIS is what we all deserve to be listening to as we embrace eternal oblivion. I'm giving this a high rating not only because I genuinely really love it, but also to help Kid Rock move to his rightful place as the actual worst album on this list. Together we can make a difference. Save the turtles.

Brings back vivid memories of when me and my mate Ray went on a trip to Dresden. We met this rotund goth in a bar, head to toe with tattoos and piercings, real filth and after a while took her into the disabled bogs for a spit roast. We were both pumping away in her with Napalm Death on in the background and her wailing "MEIN GOTT" at the top of her lungs. I remember spaffing all over her back just as Siege of Power kicked in. As i shoot over her, she takes Ray's cock out of her gob and says "do you want fries with that?" in a faux American accent. Anyway, we go outside and there's this gammy little geezer in a wheelchair sitting there furious, giving me daggers, because he's had to wait so long, so I lean into him and I go "I hope you have as much fun in there as we just did you little cunt".

Back when I was in college, there was this dude who would come into the bar I worked at on a Friday night and play fucking 10 Neil Young songs in a row. He would also hit on girls by doing magic tricks. I remember how angry I got every time he made me listen to an hour of Neil Young because I was just trying to have a good time, and he fucking made me listen to this sad, soppy fuck who writes nothing but songs that sound indistinguishable from each other and never seemed to enjoy a happy moment in his entire like. Fuck that guy, and fuck Neil Young. 2/5

Back when I was in college I used to go to a bar and listen to Neil tunes and do magic tricks for women. There was a bartender there, he was the best. I loved that guy. Some of the best years of my life.

Shit like this on the list is both refreshing and infuriating. Refreshing because it is good, fun, interesting, and also not something I would regularly be exposed to! It's why I started this project and keeps me coming back. It's infuriating because the fact that it is included here means that Robert Dimery, the original author of the 1001 albums list is aware that music like this exists. He's clearly aware that there is an entire world of music out there. SO WHY HAVE I LISTENED TO 200 80s BRITISH NEW WAVE ALBUMS AND 200 SCOTTISH ROCK ALBUMS FROM THE 90S??!!?

Rap isn't my preferred genre of music. But I'm a shitty mathematician so I enjoyed this.

I really don't get rap, and I am completely aware of why. I'm a STEM guy, specifically a Ph.D. student in mathematics. Although my verbal intelligence is quite high, it's still about a standard deviation below my quantitative intelligence. Therefore, it should not be too surprising that I prefer melodies to lyricism, and that a genre based on the latter doesn't wow me. I know I'm pretty far out of step with public opinion on this one, but that can easily be attributed to the fact that hipsters with humanities degrees (i.e. extremely verbal-dominant people) are considered the ultimate arbiters of taste for some reason. (Side note: this also explains why prog rock is seen as being for losers.) Best song: Be (Intro), which had a decent instrumental part at the beginning. Everything else just sort of ran together.

Rage In Favor Of The Machine.

Music for incels to wank furiously by

Sorry Boomers/Gen X, I was like 20 when this came out so it's one of the best things to ever happen to me. Sorry it's not King Crimson or whatever.

i ain’t listening to all that i’m happy for u tho or sorry that happened

The only enjoyment I got from this was reading the review about the brothers in Dresden and their lovely and talented tattooed friend.

The beauty of music is that it is subjective. It’s typically great for a certain group of people, though it’s never right for everyone. Some for the masses, some more niche, but it all has its place. Meanwhile, with lists like this, there’s always artists or records that anyone would have put on in place of what actually made it. Personally, I would have included Queensryche’s Operation Mindcrime, Live’s Throwing Copper, Joe Satriani’s The Extremist, Sara Bareilles’ Little Voice, or John Mellencamp’s Scarecrow album on a list of must hear records. Others would put totally different albums on and that's awesome. What someone likes vs. dislikes is truly subjective. Again, that's the beauty. With that said, this album objectively sucks. I mean truly horrible. Something had to be the lowest rated album on the list, and this was a place well earned. There is nothing redeemable about this record. To quote my wife, “they should have stopped at 1,000.”

I am definitely not the target demographic for this album, but I still thought it was very good. There's a lot of skill and artistry put into these tracks, so much so that it is almost invisible. 4 stars for me, plus an extra star just to spite the mathematics PHD guy.