Journey Complete!
Finisher #127 to complete the list
1091
Albums Rated
3.13
Average Rating
100%
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Abbey Road
Beatles
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1950s
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168
5-Star Albums
115
1-Star Albums
Taste Analysis
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Ratings by genre
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Ratings by country
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You Love More Than Most
Albums you rated higher than global average
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| A Grand Don't Come For Free | 5 | 2.67 | +2.33 |
| Yank Crime | 5 | 2.7 | +2.3 |
| Arise | 5 | 2.72 | +2.28 |
| Group Sex | 5 | 2.74 | +2.26 |
| LP1 | 5 | 2.8 | +2.2 |
| Damaged | 5 | 2.87 | +2.13 |
| Apocalypse Dudes | 5 | 2.9 | +2.1 |
| Kick Out The Jams (Live) | 5 | 2.91 | +2.09 |
| Moby Grape | 5 | 2.95 | +2.05 |
| O.G. Original Gangster | 5 | 2.97 | +2.03 |
You Love Less Than Most
Albums you rated lower than global average
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| Brothers In Arms | 1 | 3.74 | -2.74 |
| After The Gold Rush | 1 | 3.64 | -2.64 |
| Hounds Of Love | 1 | 3.61 | -2.61 |
| good kid, m.A.A.d city | 1 | 3.61 | -2.61 |
| Blood Sugar Sex Magik | 1 | 3.51 | -2.51 |
| Arrival | 1 | 3.49 | -2.49 |
| Diamond Life | 1 | 3.42 | -2.42 |
| Meat Is Murder | 1 | 3.32 | -2.32 |
| Horses | 1 | 3.31 | -2.31 |
| Low-Life | 1 | 3.3 | -2.3 |
Artist Analysis
Favorite Artists
Artists with 2+ albums
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Bob Dylan | 7 | 4.86 |
| Beatles | 7 | 4.71 |
| David Bowie | 9 | 4.56 |
| Bob Marley & The Wailers | 3 | 5 |
| Nick Drake | 3 | 5 |
| Johnny Cash | 3 | 5 |
| The Rolling Stones | 6 | 4.33 |
| Led Zeppelin | 5 | 4.4 |
| Pink Floyd | 4 | 4.5 |
| Metallica | 4 | 4.5 |
| Creedence Clearwater Revival | 3 | 4.67 |
| The Doors | 3 | 4.67 |
| Queen | 3 | 4.67 |
| Funkadelic | 2 | 5 |
| Ali Farka Touré | 2 | 5 |
| Hole | 2 | 5 |
| Muddy Waters | 2 | 5 |
| A Tribe Called Quest | 2 | 5 |
| OutKast | 2 | 5 |
| The Clash | 2 | 5 |
| Aretha Franklin | 2 | 5 |
| Taylor Swift | 2 | 5 |
| Black Sabbath | 3 | 4.33 |
| Frank Sinatra | 3 | 4.33 |
| Jimi Hendrix | 3 | 4.33 |
| Beastie Boys | 3 | 4.33 |
| The Stooges | 3 | 4.33 |
| Beck | 3 | 4.33 |
| Kings of Leon | 3 | 4.33 |
Least Favorite Artists
Artists with 2+ albums
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Tom Waits | 5 | 1.6 |
| Kate Bush | 3 | 1.33 |
| ABBA | 2 | 1 |
| The Mothers Of Invention | 2 | 1 |
| Robert Wyatt | 2 | 1 |
| Pere Ubu | 2 | 1 |
| Brian Eno | 5 | 1.8 |
| Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds | 5 | 1.8 |
| Neil Young | 4 | 1.75 |
| Björk | 4 | 1.75 |
| Dexys Midnight Runners | 3 | 1.67 |
| Pet Shop Boys | 3 | 1.67 |
| My Bloody Valentine | 3 | 1.67 |
| New Order | 2 | 1.5 |
| CHIC | 2 | 1.5 |
| Barry Adamson | 2 | 1.5 |
| Everything But The Girl | 2 | 1.5 |
| Christina Aguilera | 2 | 1.5 |
| Talking Heads | 4 | 2 |
| Bruce Springsteen | 5 | 2.2 |
| Neil Young & Crazy Horse | 3 | 2 |
| The Smiths | 3 | 2 |
| Elvis Costello & The Attractions | 4 | 2.25 |
| Morrissey | 4 | 2.25 |
Controversial Artists
Artists you rate inconsistently
| Artist | Ratings |
|---|---|
| The Jam | 2, 5 |
| Jane's Addiction | 1, 4 |
| Orbital | 4, 1 |
| The Velvet Underground | 4, 1, 4 |
| Kanye West | 3, 4, 1 |
5-Star Albums (168)
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Popular Reviews
Pink Floyd
5/5
I mean, it's a masterpiece. It's just so good I don't even care that there's a saxophone solo in it. Three monster hits (Welcome to the Machine, Have a Cigar, and Wish You Were Here) bookeneded by two 12+ minute pieces of some of the best prog-rock music ever written. No complaints, only positive vibes for this one.
68 likes
Ananda Shankar
2/5
Somewhere in the secret vaults deep beneath the Vatican where they lock away the secrets deemed too dangerous for the world, there is a book titled "Things That Could End the World as We Know It Probably." This book contains lists of potentially apocalypse-causing items and scenarios. It's quite a large book. All of the items are grouped into sections by type such as “Thermonuclear Missteps,” “Plagues, Diseases, Germs, and Cooties,” and “Musical Indiscretions.” The latter category is surprisingly lengthy, though not as lengthy as the category simply titled, somewhat ominously, “Birds.”
Nearing the top of the list of dangers in the “Musical Indiscretions” category is “Sitar Covers of Rolling Stones Songs.” How the album “Ananda Shankar” by Ananda Shankar made it past the Illuminati’s shadow censors is anybody’s guess given the fact that it begins with a sitar cover of “Jumpin’ Jack Flash.” Equally mystifying is the fact that the world is still mostly un-ended. Experts speculate that the only reason that the album didn’t summarily destroy the world is that the first track is balanced by an equally destructive sitar cover of “Light My Fire” by The Doors and, somehow, the two evils have managed to cancel each other out. This is, of course, purely speculative as nobody would be so reckless as to test the theory in a lab. Not even on a small scale. The risk is simply too great. For now, we must simply be grateful that, somehow, Ananda Shankar did not, intentionally or unintentionally, destroy the world as we know it. Probably.
56 likes
Alanis Morissette
5/5
Let's get one thing out of the way: this album is DATED. The mixing, the songwriting, the instrumentation ... everything about this album firmly plants it in a specific time frame. Usually, that's a bad thing when the time frame is mid-90s. Somehow (and I'm not sure how, honestly), "Jagged Little Pill" manages to be both a perfect example of an album from '95 AND a great album. There are things that I don't like ... but not enough for me to give it anything less than 5 stars. There are too many great tracks. It demands a 5-star review.
54 likes
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
2/5
Neil Young is easily the most overrated artist on this whole list. He's an awful singer, a boring musician, and a mediocre songwriter at best. This is some of the most vanilla, cardboard cutout, middle-of-the-road music I've ever heard. It was on track to get a bland 3 stars from me but somewhere around the middle of the album, someone started committing warcrimes with what I think was a fiddle. Hard to tell. All I know is that the atonal screeching most certainly violated the Geneva convention and should have landed Mr. young in jail for crimes against humanity. Two stars is generous.
53 likes
Mylo
3/5
There's no chance of this destroying rock & roll. It doesn't have the energy for that. It's just going to sit on the couch, baked out of its mind, and talk shit about rock & roll instead.
50 likes
1-Star Albums (115)
All Ratings
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
3/5
There are some absolute monster jams on this album. It comes right out the gate with a beast of a song (My My, Hey Hey). But it's also Neil Young so there's a lot of whiney navel-gazing and jingle-jangle acoustic guitar which isn't my favorite. The second half of the album is better IMO. It's the "electric" side of the album (remember when albums had 'sides'?) and it has a lot more guts. While the first half is clearly influenced by country music, the second has more of a proto-punk feel that I'm into. Paticularly "Sedan Delivery" is an unsung deep cut for ol' Neil and is so DAMN good this 'Bama boy can almost forgive him for "puttin' her down" because of this one track.
Orange Juice
1/5
This nonsense is so damn early 80s it makes my soul hurt. Bloopy synths, saxophone solos, and overly-stylized, Devo vocals are utterly cringeworthy. The lyrics are also mostly vapid. The second track is a bit of an outlier in that regard. I can hear shades of Sex Pistols here but like, if Sex Pistols had an older brother who thought he was super cool, had Flock of Seagul hair, and wore giant shades and lots of cheap cologne. The album is a mess, honestly. It can't decide what genre it is which, in many ways, embodies music in the early 80s. I gotta say, I'm not a fan at all.
The Waterboys
4/5
This is two days in a row I've been served a Scottish band (last one was Orange Juice) but this is a completely different experience. The songwriting is excellent. Lyrical, nuanced, and nostalgic while remaining modern (for 1988) and relevant. Shades of Dylan meets Springsteen but with an undeniable celtic energy. Overall, a really intriguing and engaging album. It came out in '88 but holds up really well overall.
Lloyd Cole And The Commotions
4/5
Another Scottish band from the 80s (that makes three in a row). Lloyd and his boys have a touch more punk to their 80s pop which is nice. It's relatively non-offensive musically for an album from '84. Good guitar tones and the lyrics are relatively deep for the time. The first track (Perfect Skin) is pretty good (turns out it was the band's very first single and well-chosen). This is an entire album of songs that would be great as modern covers, honestly. The songwriting is good, just hampered by it being a product of its time. I'm honestly surprised by how much I liked this album. Gonna have to give this one a second listen at a later date.
Neil Young
2/5
I really don't like Neil Young. Like... I really don't. This release from '75 has an undeniable disco stank on 'em. On top of the unappetizing disconess, Neil's voice is... raw and unrefined. Again, not in a good way. More in a, "Oh buddy, maybe you shouldn't try to hit those notes" way. It makes me appreciate the earlier Neil Young album that I reviewed a bit more. That said, after reading the wikipedia article on this album, I think I understand it a bit more. Apparently, this album was written in a time of grief and recorded over the course of two days while Neil was processing the loss of his friends. This DOES have an exceptionally raw feel to it and, for all that I don't think these songs and recordings stand on their own, the album really does communicate the almost nihilistic grief of post-Vietnam era young man.
5/5
An undeniable songwriting talent, Bob Dylan is already one of my favorite titans of music. This bootleg recording from '66 is a great example of both his one-man-acoustic style and his full-band-electric style. Just a dang good record front to back.
Public Image Ltd.
4/5
Boy, John Lydon (formerly of Sex Pistols) wants you to work for this album. Track one is a 9-minute long, post-punk, noise-rock grind. Track two is a spoken word tirade against organized religion. Track three is that SAME tirade but put to music. It isn't until track four that it starts to feel like an actual album. This is often credited as the first true post-punk album and it really is that. Lydon takes the in-your-face, don't care about aesthetics approach of punk and the "I really have something to say about humanity/culture/you" ethos that he brought to Sex Pistols... but then strips out all of the nihilistic, anarchic, devil-may-care FUN of the genre. This really feels like Lydon's expression of discontent with the state of the scene and anger at the industry that supports music. Even with all that, I found it interesting and engaging as an album. Maybe that's because I actually really love punk so I can appreciate this album. Despite Lydon's rejection of punk, this album is still so very punk. Standout tracks are: "Public Image" for its strong ties to Sex Pistols and "Fodderstompf" for being the most experimental. Seriously, that track is WAY out there.
Ministry
3/5
A distinct departure from the artists that I've been served so far, Ministry is definitely more in my wheelhouse. The post-punk, industrial metal band is familiar to me though I do tend to associate them with the cybergoth, doomcookie, techno-twerking crowd. That said, I'm aware that they have a reputation for being hella smart and socially-concious so I listened to this album with the culural context of 1992 in mind. It didn't disapppoint. It's smart and contextual even if it is a bit on the obvious side as far as commentary goes. That said, the album only has a few tricks in its pocket and wears very thin by the end. It gets docked a point because I felt worn out and more than a little bored by the time I finished the last track.
David Bowie
5/5
Bowie! It's hard to dislike anything Bowie has done, honestly. He was so alien and ahead of his time that there's always something new and strange to learn when listening to his albums. This was one that I hadn't spent any time with in the past so I hit the wikipedia article for context which was helpful. It's electronic and pop and undeliably Bowie. Is it dated? Yes. But it also feels like it's a decade younger than it actually is. While the rest of the world was making disco pop, Bowie was making electro bangers and synthetic, cinematic dreamscapes.
Elvis Costello
4/5
I've never really been much of a fan of Elvis Costello. I generally find his tracks to be bubble-gum, pop-sugar imitations of punk songs. The opening track, "Pony Street" did nothing to change that impression. Things picked up with the second track, though. "Kinder Murder" is fun and approachable while keeping with a more punk lyrical ethos. That carries through the remainder of the album. While some of the tracks are definitely dated and haven't necessarily aged well, the guitar tones on this entire album are outstanding, the engineering/mixing is impeccable, and the lyrics are generally compelling and thought-provoking, at times reminiscent of The Beatles and, at other times, bringing to mind classic funk/soul masters like James Brown and Aretha Franklin. Overall, I was pleasantly surprised by this album.
The Pharcyde
5/5
One of the cornerstone west-coast hip-hop acts of the 90s, Pharcyde is just one of those bands that you know if you're into hip-hop. They offered a completely different take on the genre with their lighthearted (at times straight-up goofy) lyrics in a time when the genre was already starting to take itself too seriously. I always liked the bands that they inspired more than I did them but the elements that contributed to my love for Jurassic5, Digable Planets, and Blackstar are all here. It's just damn fun. That said, "Officer" stands out in sharp contrast as a track for back then but also RIGHT NOW. It's NOT funny. It's a legit converastion piece about racial profiling and feels very contemporary.
Deerhunter
2/5
Here's a band I didn't know anything about prior to today. Very indie. I was in a band once that had this same indie feel and I wonder now if the guitarist/singer was a fan. The first track sets the tone for the album in an unfortuate way. It's a 5-minute mishmash of rhythmic noise, sulky guitars, and shoegaze vocals. While the album does pick up from time to time, the rythmic noise elements and shoegaze vocals remain constant irritants. These lyrics are so far into their own navel that they can see their backbone. The album is self-indulgent and self-important to the point that it loses all connection to the audience and listening to it begins to feel uncomfortably voyeuristic. That said, the album is saved from a one-star by the fact that there are a few tracks that still manage to connect and because the recording production is top-notch. It really is very well produced. But you can only polish a turd so much. No matter how shiny it is, it's still crap.
The B-52's
4/5
This album was an unexpected joy to listen to. While I feel like everyone has heard or at least brushed up against the biggest track on this album ("Rock Lobster"), it's not truly indicative of the rest of the album or the band as a whole. There's so much more to unpack here. Tracks like "52 Girls" and "Hero Worship" are much better indicators of what this band is capable of. While this album is close enough to 80s new-wave that I should hate it, it somehow manages to avoid almost all the stuff that I hate. The guitar and organ tones are so great. The relentless rhythms are mesmerizing. And the lyrics have the same joyful near-nihilism of my favorite punk bands. I can hear the influence that this band had on later new-wave acts but I think most of them missed what The B-52's were doing here and just decided that stupid lyrics were cool and ran with it. These lyrics are... nonsensical. But they're anything but stupid. In fact, I would say that the kitchy nonsense is, in itself, a significant cultural commentary. Especially with the benefit of hindsight to know that the decade that immediately followed this album's release was one of record excess and rejection of personal and cultural responsibility.
Funkadelic
5/5
Oh, Funkadelic. This is exactly what I wanted to listen to on a Monday morning. This album is absolutely genre-defining. It's almost like George Clinton and his boys were looking at their contemporaries and saying, "Sure you can rock. Sure you got soul. Sure, you're funky? But how far are you willing to go?" And the answer was: not as far as Funkadelic. This albums pushes the boundaries of what was rock/funk/soul/psychadelic music at the time. The opening guitar riff of the album on the title track "Maggot Brain" is a face-melting. 9-minute shred worthy of Hendrix. The guitar tones on this whole album are phenominal. They range from sharply atmosheric to heart-poundinly organic. The tracks are a bit all over the place and thee album lacks cohesion but, even so, manages to work as a whole unit of expression. Much of that is due to George Clinton's peculiar lyrical contribution which, in keeping with the psycadelic/funk ethos, are sparse but pointed most of the time, highlighting culture, race, drug-addled nihilism, and sheer, pleasure-seeking, self-serving abandon.
Little Richard
5/5
Little Richard's first record. This is the absolute powerhouse of a record that rocketed him into the American cultural conciousness and paved the path for him to grow into the funk god that he became. The bones of his later music are here in the way that he attacks his vocal performances with reckless abandon and faultless control. The songs are firmly rooted in the musical ethos of the 50s but that's not a bad thing in this case due to the fact that Little Richard defined the style going forward in the minds of music fans. This debut album is thick with bangers like "Tutti Frutti," "Ready Teddy," "Miss Ann," and "Long Tall Sally." Little Richard is one of the main artists credited for bringing "black music" to white america. THIS is the record that white teenagers hid under their beds to listen to when their parents weren't around. It's no hyperbolic to say that, in his own way, Little Richard was a civil rights pioneer. And the record reflects that. It's relatable, using the musical shorthand of mainstream 50s pop, but keeps the undeniable edge, angst, and sheer sexual energy that was missing from white popular music at the time but which was available by the bucketload in black music.
Cat Stevens
3/5
I've never really been a Cat Stevens fan, TBH. He's a little too chill for my taste. That said, the songwriting is pretty damn solid. This album was apparently his big "here I am world" moment and it shows with songs like "Wild World" that have stood the test of time and been covered a thousand times. Mostly, this album is kind of ho-hum for me. It's not offensive or exciting. It just... is.
Judas Priest
5/5
Man, 80s metal is so hit and miss. But THIS was a hit. Judas Priest, Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, and AC/DC defined a whole genre and spawned a dozen half-assed offshoots (coughHairMetalcough). This album is an absolute face-ripping example of the style and I love it. Normally, I comment on guitar tones but the real stand out on this album is the drummer. Dave Holland keeps things tight and crispy without the drums feeling overproduced. The whole tone and feel of the album is built on his nearly mechanical but powerful approach to his drums. Not much else to say. Just a great frikkin' album.
Rod Stewart
3/5
I don't know, man. Rod Stewart. He's just... Rod Stewart. He's nothing special and he's never been something special. He's just a dude with a scratchy voice who can play piano but is only so-so when it comes to songwriting. This debut album... it's 110% a product of the time and hasn't aged well. I find it inoffensive with nothing realy exciting to recommend it. A little on the boring side, honestly. Just really middle-of-the-road background rock.
Heaven 17
1/5
Synthpop. Dammit. The worst thing to come out of the 80s. It's blippy-bloopy, arpegiated, slam-drum crap with Devo-esque non-singing vocals. Also, there are random saxophone solos inserted for some reason. I hate everything about this genre. In the interest of fairness, there ARE some pretty groovy guitar and bass tracks on this album that are not typical of the genre. They're just buried underneath so many layers of blippy-bloop that they lose their grooviness. Even throwing it that bone, this album is awful and gets one star.
The Prodigy
3/5
Prodigy, while electronic, couldn't be any further from the electronic band I reviewed yesterday (Heaven17). This album is dark, industrial, filled with great break beats, and actually has a ton of balls to it. What it DOESN'T have, unfortunately, is anything resembling melody or song structure. I vaguely remember liking their later album, "Invaders Must Die" so I was interested to give this a try. It's about what I expected but I did come across a couple of tracks that I actually knew ("Voodoo People" and "Poison") and liked. This album is great as high-energy background music. There are so many interesting layers of sonic texture going on that can be interesting to try to pick apart but, as a focused listening experience, it falls very short when one is sober.
Jurassic 5
5/5
I freaking LOVE this album. I have since it came out in 2002. It's been a few years since I last listened to it and I'm kicking myself. This is easily one of my top 10 albums of all time. Smart, culturally relevant lyrics, powerful break beats, serious in-th-pocket swings... it's the whole package. This is what the best of hip-hop sounds like. There's nothing more that needs to be said. It's the best. Period.
Black Flag
5/5
There's so much that can be said about this album. It's a cornerstone piece of hardcore punk history. This was one of the albums that began the spit into hardcore as its own genre and put Henry Rollins - the world's scariest boyscout - into the spotlight. It's rough and agressive and very socially concious. It's just damn great and I love it. Full marks.
Ali Farka Touré
5/5
African (Malian to be specific) blues is... well, it's a niche sound. I've rubbed up against it in the form of the artist Bombino before but this is a whole different level of unique. It... it FEELS like the blues. But, at the same time, it feels distinctly african. There are harminicas, banjos, and guitars... but also hand drums and some sort of unique stringed instrument (Zither? Kora? Not sure.) mixed in. It all combines into a wild and entrancing musical experience. Ali's voice is pure blues. Even though I can't understand most of what he's saying (though some of the album is in french, thankfully), his emotion comes right through the language barrier untarnished. Apparently, this album was released posthumously and, while I'm glad the world has this album, it's a crying shame that we lost this talent because the album is just really really good.
Brian Eno
3/5
Ambient music is not my jam. I always prefer something with energy and drive. I expected this album to be a complete waste of my time. But... somehow... it's not. It's totally ignorable but also not offensively bland. It DOES have layers of interest. The engineering on this album is absolutely top-notch. Way beyond its time. I was actually kinda into the first track. The second track, however, completely lost me with its constantly ebbing and flowing generic human voices. It was creepy AF, to be honest. The third track redeems those vocals by using them as texture to a primarily piano-focused track. But it's only the first and fourth tracks that are listenable, in my opinion. It gets more stars than I anticipated giving it but it's still not a great listen overall.
Slipknot
3/5
So, yeah. Slipknot. Look, I'm really into hard music. I cut my teeth on punk and grew up on hardcore metal. I spent almost every weekend of my 20s at any hardcore show I could get to. Slipknot, though... they were always a joke in the hardcore scene. They're fashion metal. They're gothy pop-metal. The slipknot guys would show up at the hardcore shows in uniform and get laughed out of the venue. It was poser-metal. As I listened to this album, I tried really hard to get past those past notions of the band and listen with a fresh ear. What I found was that those past impressions... were not entirely wrong. But they weren't entirely correct either. There's some good stuff in here. It's a little sing-songy and filled with cliches but, at the same time, there are some killer groves buried underneath all that. Overall, not as bad as I expected it to be.
The Specials
3/5
I'm not huge into Ska but I like The Specials (they're close enough to punk) and haven't ever seen them live so this was a relatively fun album to listen to. That said, a double-disk live album of ska quickly wears on the ears. One can only take so much skeedoodle in one go. Ghost Town is a great song, though.
Rage Against The Machine
5/5
Oh man, I love this album so much. It's just so damn good. Almost 30 years later, and it holds up so well. Almost too well, honestly. The lyrical themes feel super relevant to today's America and that's kind of depressing. Actually, given current events, it's super depressing. "Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses." Damn, del la Rocha. It ain't changed yet. The machine is still grinding along despite our rage.
Janelle Monáe
2/5
2 of 5 (10/30/20)
Well, this was unexpected. This is very much not my genre. It's dancy and poppy with smooth vocals and slick production values. I have been known to call this kind of stuff musical exlax. There's something about this album that keeps it from tripping over into the diharrea zone, though. Maybe it's the conceptual nature of the thing that keeps it on course. It does feel like every track leads into the next in a cinematic storyarch. Perhaps that's what makes this work. Somewhere around track 6, it picks up and findsome funk and that was a lot more enjoyable. That said, it never really got anywhere interesting for me.
The Teardrop Explodes
2/5
Dammit. More crappy 80s music. It's post-punk so there's that but it's still full of bloopy synths, over-stylized vocals, horn solos... all the crap I hate about the era. The wiki calls this "neo-psychadelic" and I think that's a load of crap. It's just an excuse for repetitive keyboard parts that never go anywhere. I'm pretty sure this album is only on here because the band was fronted by Julian Cope and brits love to tell people that they love Cope. Also Ian McCulloch of Echo and the Bunnymen. But, honestly, it's not an awesome album by any stretch of the imagination. There's nothing particularly ground-breaking in the musicality or the lyrics. It's sorta dancable, though? I bet this was big in the early 80s underground clubs in Liverpool...
Marvin Gaye
4/5
So... I've never been into the smooth smooth stylin's of Mr. Gaye. But this album is really interesting. It's got the smooth sound you'd expect but, if you take a moment to listen to the lyrics, they're REALLY raw. Apparently, half of the earnings of this album were forfeited to his ex-wife even before he wrote it... so he wrote it about her. And damn. He put it all out there. Lyrics like, "You don't have the right to use the son of mine/To keep me in line/One thing I can't do without/Is the boy whom God gave to both of us" are balanced in the same song with "May love ever protect you/May peace come into your life." It's a really fascinating record, honestly. Not something I foresee myself listening to again but an album that I ended up enjoying while I listened to it.
Sugar
3/5
This album is SO 90s alt-rock. It's got that shimmery chorus over doubled vocals and the thick, grungy guitar riffs that make up that iconic sound. It immediately transports me back to my youth in a (mostly) good way. Sure, the sound is totally dated but it's still grunge, man. That said, I'm not sure why it's on the list. It's not exactly a shining beacon of alt-rock/grunge. In fact, one could argue that it's kind of riding the coat tails of much better bands and albums. It was enjoyable in a nostalgic way, though. I need to go find a flannel to tie around my waist now...
Bob Marley & The Wailers
5/5
This is a pretty dang iconic album. It's a top-shelf cocktail of groove, blues, and blistering social commentary. Honestly, I'm at a loss for what to say about this album other than it's just damn good. It ticks all the boxes. It's iconic, in the pocket, vocals are on point, lyrics are heavy, production is excellent, and it's so thick with sheer musicality it practically oozes. Just a real fine record.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
1/5
I felt like I should like this album but, the more I listened the more I hated it. The musicality was good but the songwritiing was lazy. You could tell which songs were traditional songs that Cave left mostly intact and which ones he took liberties with. In every case, it seemed that the changes were designed to shock listeners and not to make the songs better. Additionally, Nick Cave's vocal performance on almost every song on this album was sub-par which was surprising to me b/c, in the past, I've enjoyed his performances. Overall, a very disappointing album and one that I frankly am mystified is on this list.
Machito
4/5
Oof. This was a challenging album for a Monday morning. The chaotic, frenetic energy of cuban jazz is something I have to be in the mood for, not something that gets me in the mood. That said, this IS a damn good expression of the genre. It felt like the soundtrack to a 1970s spy movie and I am not sad about that. It was an enjoyable listen and I'll be saving it for another time when I AM in the mood.
Hole
5/5
Easily Hole's biggest release (and their last), Celebrity Skin is a powerhouse alt-rock album. It's got everything you could want from a rock album in '98. It has bad-ass female power vocals, chunky riffs, meaningful lyrics, and all the attitude you can eat. It's a great album.
Thin Lizzy
2/5
A live Thin Lizzy album is not high on my list of things I want to listen to. The music is pretty middle of the road and this album lacked the energy of most good live albums. Turns out, that's because Thin Lizzy straight up cheated and overdubbed a bunch of the parts after the fact. So it's only kinda live. The result is a the audio equivalent of flat beer. You can taste what it should be and it'll deliver alcohol... But it's just not enjoyable.
Dusty Springfield
3/5
Alright, so here's an album that was released in the mid-60s but sounds like it's from the 50s for the most part. A lot of the records on this list are ahead of their times but that's not the case here. Dusty gets points for some really great recordings of really great songs but they're mostly rips of other people's work. That was common for the time (especially among white performers covering songs by black artists) but it still makes me wonder why this was included in the list. It was enjoyable but nothing groundbreaking. Hence the 3 star rating.
Michael Jackson
4/5
Ok, so here's where I lose a lot of cred with most folks: I don't actually like Michael Jackson. Never have. This record, however, is the one MJ album I have on vinyl. It's probably his best known (follwed closely by Bad), is the best selling album of all time, and on top of that, has some pretty good tracks on it. I play it once a year on or near Halloween and that's enough MJ to last me a whole year. I totally get why this is on the list. It's a good album. I'm just not much of a fan.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
Classic. Just damn classic. There's not a single song on this album that's not just fantastic. Maaaybe "Moby Dick" could be left off the list as it's really just an entire track of drum wankery. But, for drum wankery, it's still really good.
Tricky
4/5
Tricky is one of the members of Massive Attack (an electronic group that I actually like quite a bit) so it's unsurprising that I found this album pretty listenable. It's slower, darker, and more moody than most MA albums are generally. And that's saying something since MA lives best in that heavy trip space. This is a good album. Is it amazing? I don't know. To me, an amazing album is one that I can listen to almost any time. This isn't that kind of album. But, when I'm in the headspace for something moody, chill, and beat-driven, this is exactly what I'm gonna want.
Miles Davis
4/5
Whew. I thought I had listened to this record before but maybe not. It was WAY more experimental and chaotic than I expected. The musicianship is undeniable but it's not exactly an enjoyable listening experience. For some reason, though, it absolutely pushed me to heights of productivity while I listened to it this morning so there's something there that's working on my subconcious. Overall, I absolutely understand why this is on the list and I think I'm going to have to give it a second listen to understand it.
Fleetwood Mac
4/5
I wondered when I'd get to this one. Every "best of" list seems to have this record on it, for some reason. I remember listening to this as a kid on my dad's record player. I actually have not one but TWO copies of this on vinyl for some reason. And yet, I could never understand why people love this record so much. I can't quite wrap my mind around the cult of Rumors. That remains true this listen-through however, because I've been doing this project which has forced me to listen to records with an open mind, I am finding more to like about this record than I have in the past. Songs like, "Go Your Own Way" and "The Chain" are great tracks, no question. The thing is, they're separated by "Songbird" which is a turd of a song. There's a lot of that on this record. Killer tracks separated by duds. Ah well, maybe it's just because of the separation in time between release and now.
Björk
2/5
I am not a fan of Björk. Like... REALLY not a fan. She tries too hard to be weird for the sake of being weird and the music suffers for it. This lo-fi, chamber-chill, trip-track album is rough enough without Bjork's whispery, wavery, warbling vocals. She goes out of her way to avoid anything resembling a song structure or an actual melody, instead choosing to wander around aimlessly like a wino on a three-day bender. This album is utterly pointless. I fail to understand how it has garnered so many awards and accolades. I can only assume it's some sort of Emporor's Clothes situation where the pseudo-intellectual music critic crowd wants to appear smart so they gush about the beauty of something that nobody actually sees just because it's Bjork so they're supposed to like it.
Kanye West
3/5
Here's another artist where I break from the pack. I do not like Kanye on the whole. I think he's an extremely overrated, egotistical, pampered artist that's been told he's a genius so long that he thinks he's a god. And all of that comes across in his work. His rhymes are decent (if self-indulgent) and his delivery has that lazy "I'ma get to it when I get to it" cadence which isn't my favorite. The production is, of course, off the charts good because it's a Kanye record. It's telling that the best moments on this record are the ones where the guest artists bring heat. The production really IS phenominal, though. And, when I stop and listen to THAT instead of trying to evaluate this record on Ye's bars (like I would any other rap artist), I like this album a lot more. I just can't with these lyrics though. So much shit. Giving it three stars because the production is huge.
Count Basie & His Orchestra
4/5
Big band music isn't generally my favorite - it's generally background noise to me - but this was surprisingly listenable. There are significant shades of harlem-esque jazz in here. I enjoyed it far more than I expected to.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
3/5
It's been a hot minute since I last listened to this record and... Well, I don't know that it's aged all that well, to be honest. I really liked Californication when it came out so I was surprised to find that I didn't feel the same this time. Turns out, while the music is fun, most of these lyrics are really dumb. Like... Really stupid. On top of that, aside from the hits that everyone knows, the majority of the tracks are really dated sounding. I expected to give this a five-star review. Sadly, it only gets a 3. The years take their toll on everything.
The Pogues
4/5
Look, it's the Pogues. I love this band and their albums are, to a one, pure fun to listen to. But I can't, for the life of me, understand why they're on this list. I don't see how anyone could say that this is an influential band with a straight face. Anyway, it's a ton of fun and that's worth some stars.
Pink Floyd
5/5
Not much to be said about this one. It's one of the greatest albums of all time. Another Brick in the Wall, Comfortably Numb, Hey You, Is There Andybody Out There?... the hits just keep coming on this one. It's an all-time great for a reason.
Van Morrison
3/5
Van morrison sounds so much like the era in part because he helped define the music of the late 60s early 70s. More than 50 years later, I found it to be mostly ignorable, if still pleasant, background music. It's not bad at all. It's just not awesome. Kinda boring. Minus one star for committing the sin of using flutes in rock music.
Fever Ray
2/5
Holy mouth noises, Batman. Massive recording fail. Minus two stars for the mouth noises. Dang. I think I'd almost be into this if it didn't have any vocals. But the vocal style and the shit-ass-knuckle-dragging-moist-face-juice-dripping vocal recordings are absolutely trash. Also the lyrics are just inane. They include such gems as, "I'm very good with plants. When my friends are away, they let me keep the soil moist." Stupid. And it's honestly a shame because the actual music is layered, nuanced, and interesting.
New Order
2/5
"What? Harmless? Is that all it's got to say? Harmless! One word!"
Ford shrugged.
Fleetwood Mac
2/5
There's a reason people gush over Rumors and not Tusk. This whole album feels like a really long demo tape. And I'm listening to a 2015 remastered version. And still, the album is full of rough ideas, unfinished thoughts, sketchy instrumentation, and half-assed lyrics. I get that, among a certain generation of music critics, Fleetwood Mac is one of those darling bands but I cannot understand why THIS album is on the list. I'm not a FM fan and even I know that they have better albums than this one.
Pavement
5/5
I didn't expect to like this but I ended up quite enjoying it. It's lo-fi, post-punk, idie rock and the vocals are sketchy but... it has... something. It feels like these guys were legitimately into this and enjoying themselves. It reminds me a lot of some of my favorite indie bands and artists (Gasoline Heart comes to mind) and I'm into this. The sparse instrumentation lends an opennes to the mix that makes the whole album feel like it's breathing. It's so different from the Phil Spector "Wall of Sound" mix style that's so popular these days and it's refreshing...
Eric Clapton
5/5
This is one of my top-ten, all-time favorite records so it's an easy ace. I love this album so much. It feels like what it is: a joyous collaboration between musicians who just love to play and like each other. I have to be careful not to wear out the vinyl of this one b/c it's easily my go-to "I wanna listen to a record" album. The pacing of the track order, the guitar tones, the way the instruments weave in and out of the mix, supporting each other and providing context for each and every part... It's all so good. So good.
Sabu
1/5
Look, I'll be the first to admit that I probably just don't "get" this. But the plain fact was this was painful to listen to. It's repetitive noise. You would have to be just REALLY into conga drums to love this album. There's a 6 minute track that's NOTHING BUT CONGAS. And the next one is a 4 minute track of MOSTLY congas broken up by random yells and loud samba whistles. On the tracks where there ARE vocals, they're off-key shrieks accompanied by extraordinarily shrill "harmonies" (if you can call them that). It's. The. WORST. Hands down. Listening to this album makes me angry.
Sonic Youth
4/5
There's very little to dislike about this album. Sure, Kim Gordon's vocals wander around looking for the key like a drunk in the dark trying to unlock their front door. But, other than that, it's a pretty good post-punk, post-grunge, alt-rock album. The issue is that there's not really a whole lot that amazing about it either. The lyrics are culturally relevant but stop short of being pointed commentary. The musicality has an edge to it (that's often missing in a lot of grunge-adjacent rock) but it's stops short of kicking anyone in the nuts. The album is good but it's just not great. Guitar tones are on point though and it was fun background rock.
Deep Purple
4/5
I mean, "Smoke on the Water" amirite? I feel like you get an automatic 2 star bonus just for that song. That said, I can see why this band is often (erroneously) included on one-hit-wonder lists. Their songwriting is, for the most part, mediocre. It's just generic 70s, white-guy, early-metal. The guitar solos in particular are just really REALLY uninspired and boring. But this band was a powerhouse band that was instrumental in moving metal into the mainstream cultural conciousness. This album is an integral piece of the heavy metal story... but it's not the most important or impressive piece. I ALMOST gave this 3 stars but the insane keys intro for "Lazy" tipped it over to a 4 star review. That track is tasty as hell. In fact, the album is back-stacked with the last 4 tracks (starting at "Smoke on the Water" and ending with the non-album b-side, "When a Blind Man Cries") being head-and-shoulders better than the first 4 tracks.
The Zombies
5/5
Stop me if you've heard this one before: a british rock band recorded an album at Abbey Road in the 60s. No, not that british band. This one recorded their album two years before that band. It's kinda crazy how much this sounds like The Beatles, honestly. It makes me wonder what else was going on in the British music scene at the time. Whatever the case, this was a very enjoyable album. Everything I love about The Beatles is on display here. The songwriting isn't quite as good (unsurprisingly) but the vocals are better and the harmonies are all on point. I think the most interesting thing about this is how clearly one can hear the thumbprint of the studio itself. The recording is immaculate and the production is just SO good. It sounds like an Abbey Road joint. Almost gave this a 4 but the last track is Time of the Season which is just a monster of a single. Took it to a 5 easily.
Genesis
3/5
Peter Gabriel, Phil Collins, and a slew of Hall-of-Fame-worthy musicians in the prog band that launched them all to stardom produced a singularly weird and schizophrenic record even for prog. From track one, this thing is a wandering mess. Maybe that's why I found myself mostly ignoring it. The lack of a consistent through-line within a single song made my brain just sort of shut off.
The Blue Nile
1/5
The wikipedia article lists this album genre as "sophisti-pop" which gives you a good idea of what you're getting into. This is some of the most pretentious 80s crap ever. The lyrics are incoherent, the instrumentation is a disconnected mess, and the song structure is completely nonexistent. I almost gave this a star because the singer has a pretty good voice. But, no. It's not enough to save the album. It's like some some guys in a highschool drama club got really into Bowie and decided to give it a try "but, you know, let's make it ours, right? Let's get experimental." Luckily, the whole album is only 38 minutes long. Because it's utter trash.
Buffalo Springfield
4/5
This is an interesting album for me. I'm on the record as being anti-Neil Young and yet here's the band that kind of launched Young's career and... it's good. Perhaps that's because Buffalo Springfield is better known as the precurser to Crosby, Stills & Nash (later to become Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young). It's extremely folksy, a little bit rock, and overall just a chill record. I neither loved nor hated it. Was going to give it 4 stars but Neil Young barfed all over track 4 with a solo track (thereby negating the positive influence of Stephen Stills) that was pure crap. But THEN I hit track 6 (Hung Upside Down) which was really good (sick fuzz paired with bright, shimmery electric guitar tones.... so good) and then I hit track 8 (Good Time Boy) which was even better so it got back up to a 4 again.
Rush
4/5
It's hard not to appreciate the sheer musical powerhouse that is Rush. Lee, Lightson, and Peart are musical titans and, even if you're not a Rush fan (which I'm not), you can't deny their skill or impact on music in general. Just being Rush earns this album 3 stars right out the gate. That said, a 20-minute track is a hard pill to swallow. Especially as it contains a section around the 7-minute mark that's just guitar tuning. It's pretentious as hell and I'm not okay with it. The second half of the album is much more digestable and absolutely redeems the album from that 20-minute monstrosity.
3/5
Honestly, it didn't make much impact on me. I neither hated nor loved this album. It was mostly ignorable, early-90s poprock. Just... meh.
Simon & Garfunkel
5/5
What a monster of an album. So many huge tracks. Bridge Over Troubled Water, The Boxer, Cecilia, The Only Living Boy in New York, Baby Driver... Huge. There's one weird duck in the mix (So Long, Frank Lloyd Wright is SUPER weird) but, other than that, it's pretty much folk-banger after folk-banger.
The Rolling Stones
5/5
I mean, it's The Rolling Stones, right? So much good stuff here. For the most part, The Stones have really aged well (musically, at least - let's not talk about the immortal Mr. Richards) and these tracks are still immensely enjoyable. Really jammy and fun, it feels like they were just having a good time and not taking anything too seriously. Which is odd given the lyrical content of the album, which is often kinda dark. There's an almost punk ethos to it. Kind of a, "things are really gross and ugly so we might as well party" mentality. The result is just a really fun album. I have no negative thoughts, only positive vibes. Full marks.
Erykah Badu
3/5
So, here's the deal... take Badu off this album and it's a groovy slice of funky gold. Badu's uninspired, lazy (and at times really harsh) vocals, however, are slathered over on the groove, covering the flavor like ketchup on a fine steak. Every song's vocal lines are nearly identical, substituting lazy, mostly monotone vocals for true melody. I think she's probably capable of more than this but, for some reason, she decided to just phone it in. The saving grace of the vocal element is the lyrics which are pretty smart on the whole and which, along with the super tasty backing tracks, save this album from a lower-than-average score.
Muddy Waters
5/5
Various Artists
4/5
Nothing to hate here. It's full of great reditions of classic songs. Hard to hate. Nothing truly outstanding but I wouldn't expect there to be from an album put together by Spector.
A Tribe Called Quest
5/5
Geeze, this is a great album. Another cornerstone crew of hiphop, Tribe is just... just great. They defined the genre for a whole generation of artists and their influence continues to be felt in the work of artists like Childish Gambino, Chance the Rapper, and more. The way that the verses are built over hooky boom-bap beats is compelling, neither element distracting from the other but each remaining engaging individually. So good. Just so damn good.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
4/5
The first word that comes to mind when describing this album is "fun." It's all kinds of post-punk, neo-grunge, alt-rock, fem-fronted fun. It's pretty much right up my alley. That said, it does get docked a star because some of the songs have amazingly dumb lyrics while others have amazingly brilliant lyrics. But, overall, it's a super great record.
Deep Purple
4/5
Grinding, driving, 70s metal. This album is relentless. It starts big and just keeps going until the end. Good stuff, mostly. It got docked a star because there was an inordinate amount of pointless, wordless screeching.
Public Enemy
3/5
Apocalypse 91 is iconic but it's also really annoying. A lot of later music wouldn't exist without this album but, man... it did not age well. Three stars for its importance to music. Minus two stars because I just don't like it.
Pulp
4/5
Honestly, this is a pretty solid entry. It's fun and energetic with catchy hooks and just enough edge to remain interesting. I don't know that the world needed an entire album about sex but here it is. Very good but not quite great.
OutKast
5/5
OuKast is an undeniable hip-hop power duo. So, of course, they chose to release a double solo album to follow up Stankonia, arguably their biggest release ever. Weird decision but one that paid off. Both Speakerboxxx and The Love Below are stuffed with bangers and clearly demonstrate what each member brings to the mix to make OutKast so damn good. Neither album feels like an OutKast album but they both feel like distillations of an OutKast album and I unashamedly love 'em both.
Shuggie Otis
5/5
Wow. This album is so tasty. Every groove is in the pocket, every note sung is perfect, the mixing and production are smooth as hell and yet retain enough energy to stay super interesting. There some really dated, Casio-level synth drums on here that would usually lose an album a star but this was 1974, so this was cutting-edge stuff at the time. No penalty. Full marks.
Violent Femmes
4/5
Violent Femmes are punk/alt-rock royalty. And for good reason. Coming into this one, I had very very positive feelings for this band and this album in particular. But this project has got me listening to things that I know far more critically than when I'm listening for fun. That's why Violent Femmes only gets a 4 instead of a 5 star rating this time. While I still absolutely adore this album, and it's full of absolute killers (Blister in the Sun, Kiss Off, Add It Up, Gone Daddy Gone, Good Feeling), there are some real stinkers as well (Please Do Not Go) and the musicality is... not awesome. Many times intentionally so... but not always so intentionally so, you know? Violent Femmes, I still love you... I just can't give you full marks.
The Everly Brothers
2/5
12 tracks, 27 minutes of music total. Kinda digging that as a musical ideal. That said, this album is hella dated. The opening track asserts that the reason that women are created is because "Girls, girls, girls were made to love." In fact, that's the reason some of them are 5'2" with blue eyes (apparently a physical ideal) and it's also why you can't help but watch them walk down the street like a creeper. Because they were made for it, see? Also, if you're wondering if you should get physical with a woman, you should just remember: that's what they were made for. As a lyrical choice, that's pretty much awful. Luckily, it's a 2-minute song. The album as a whole isn't bad from a musical standpoint. It just has the unfortunate stench of mid-century American chauvanism and white people problems all over the lyrics. I was going to still give it a 3-star review until I got to the cover of Lucille. They killed all the swing and swagger of the original Little Richard version. It's so white it hurts. I hate it. The only thing saving this album from a flat 1-star rating is that the music is good.
Blur
2/5
Oh. Another britpop album. What a surprise. Honestly, all of these bands are starting to sound exactly the same. Much like their food, British pop music seems to be mostly bland and uninspiring.
Air
4/5
Man, I'd totally forgotten about this band. There was a short period where this album was on regular rotation in my college apartment. I had a roomate who became totally enamored with them after hearing one of their tracks on a commercial. I actually really like several of these tracks despite Air being part of that same European school of electronic music as Daft Punk. The repetitiveness of the songs tends to annoy me after three minutes in or so. The songs are, on average, about a minute longer than they should be. That said, it's an album full of good, chill, background jams. I still a fan of La Femme d'Argent, All I Need, and Talisman.
Harry Nilsson
4/5
This one took me by surprise. I didn't know anything about Nilsson before today. Turns out people used to call him "The American Beatle" and The Beatles were on record saying that Nilsson was their favorite American group. Turns out, yeah, he sounds a lot like an american version of early 70s Beatles. Surprisingly good! Also, he's the guy who did the "lime in the coconut" song. I always wondered why that song had such a presence in pop culture. It's because Nilsson had an outsized presence in pop culture for a hot minute. But he never toured or played big concerts and, after Lennin was killed, he stepped away from the music industry (they were good buds, apparently). That said, there were some killer tracks on this album and, apart from the last two tracks, I really enjoyed listening to it.
Cypress Hill
3/5
Cypress Hill is on that leading edge of gangsta rap going mainstream and, for purposes of cultural relevance, belongs on the list. That said, it's not my favorite. The boom-bap beats and devil-may-care delivery are fun but the lyrics just wear me down after a while.
Slint
1/5
Oh, man. The sound of this album sends me way back. I was in an indie band once and the main guitarist absolutely LOVED this album which had a huge impact on the songs he wrote. Weird time signatures, amusical vocals, mid-song shifts in tone... all so familiar. David used the word "pretentious" to describe this album and it's 100% on point. While that band stretched me musically, I didn't actually enjoy the music we made. Nor do I enjoy this album. It almost got 2 stars anyway because the punk roots are strong... but every song is AT LEAST a minute too long and I can't abide bands who don't know when to shut up.
David Bowie
4/5
It's Bowie. I'm gonna like it. The man was a legend and consistently ahead of his time. That future-thinking is on heavy display with Heroes. It's from '77 (the same year as Low) but features sounds that wouldn't become ubiquitous until the 80s. Sadly for me, those sounds aren't my favorite which knocks a star off of this review. The songwriting is still brilliant and Bowie is still a beast and the album was still great. I just don't really like bloopy synths. Low was a better album.
Otis Redding
5/5
This was a fun one. At times, it's light-hearted, at times it's full of pain and sorrow... it runs the gamut in a way that most records from this era refuse to and it comes out the other end stronger for it. While Respect is weird (and a little dark) when sung by a man, it's balanced with wonderful covers of the perennial classics, My Girl, (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction and Wonderful World. So much great music and misicianship on display. Easy five.
John Prine
4/5
Well, country really isn't my genre. Not by a long shot. So I wasn't thrilled to get this album. But I hit play with as open a mind as I could and, wouldn't you know it, it didn't suck. It's still SUPER not my genre, don't get me wrong. But Prine's lyrics are clever and funny and so sharp they cut. It's amazing to me that this album came out in '71 and still feels so daggum relevant. Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore is painful in its relevance. COVID-19 took Prine from us this past year and that also feels too close for comfort. What a debut album.
Guns N' Roses
5/5
So there are a lot of really dated and, frankly, cheesy tracks on this album. But it also has Welcome to the Jungle, Paradise City, and Sweet Child O' Mine which are such absolute monsters that you can't not give the album as a whole a 5.
Pulp
2/5
This... is not hardcore. Not at all, in fact. It's a fairly ho-hum album. Most of the songs live in that in-between tempo that's neither up-tempo or down-tempo what I like to call lazy tempo. It's unchallenging and uninspiring. After the last Pulp album that I reviewed (Different Class), I expected more from this band. Unfortunately, it sounds like a college garage band that's REALLY into Bowie. Not the best listening experience. I was disappointed.
The Youngbloods
3/5
This is an interesting album. I... I think I liked it? There are certainly no stand-out tracks. Nothing to point to and say, "that was a great song!" but, at the same time, I really enjoyed listening to it as background music. Nothing disagreeable in the album (apart from a brief saxophone solo which was as tasteful as that sort of thing can be). Nothing great either. So strange. Not entirely sure how to rate it so it's getting a middling 3.
Television
4/5
I actually quite like this album overall. Television is an essential part of that initial, American post-punk exploratory period that birthed bands like Violent Femmes and The Replacements. It's nihilistic and nonsensical at times, sure. But that's just true to its post-punk underpinnings. It also hits with some strong, jazz-rooted drums and more than a few prog-rock-leaning instrumental sections. Is it an amazing album? No. But it's pretty damn good. The title track, Marquee Moon, in particular, is great from both a technical and musical perspective.
Sly & The Family Stone
3/5
Sly & The Family Stone were one of the more formative bands for me as a bassplayer. I used to pick apart their basslines along with Parliment Funkadelic, Graham Central Station, Mandrill, War and more. They were instrumental in me understanding the idea of "the pocket" as a player. That said, this is NOT Sly's best album by a long shot. It's rough and unfocused. While the great musicianship that one would expect is still on display, the vocals show the strain of a completely drug-addled frontman. The result is a chaotic, fragmented mess of an album. Great band, not such a great album, sadly.
Mott The Hoople
4/5
Well, I was prepared to hate this album but I didn't. It's... weird. The album starts off with a cover which is a bit of a turn off. But, after that weird start, the album takes off in its own direction. I read this described as "glam rock" but I think that's an incomplete descriptor. The songs here bounces wildly from Deep Purple to Rolling Stones to Velvet Underground and even sometimes hits some Dylanesque notes with all flavors of 60s and 70s poprock in between. It seems like it should feel disconnected and disjointed but, somehow, it doesn't. It ends up feeling like Mott the Hoople is just... doing its own thing. And I like that.
Raekwon
3/5
Not my most favorite album. While I can dig a good bit of WuTang, This solo project by Raekwon, not so much. The beats are fun and the delivery is pretty good but rarely great. It would be an easy 4 star rating if it weren't for the pseudo-mafioso lyrical nonsense. It's... less than great. I get that these cats were living rough on the streets of mid-90s NYC and were struggling (like a lot of youth of color at the time) to find an identity that could be "theirs" but, dang. It's kinda dumb. That knocked it down a couple of stars for me. But, like a lot of 90s hiphop, if you listen to it long enough, it grows on you a bit. The samples lifted from old movies are a WuTang staple and a lot of fun and while the content is generally crap, the delivery really is good and the writing is periodically brilliant despite the content. Not often enough to save it from a middling grade but enough to keep it from failing.
George Jones
3/5
So this album made one thing abundantly clear to me: I REALLY HATE STEEL GUITAR. The first couple of tracks are heavy on the slide steel and I was in misery. Then it got to Pass Me By and She'll Love the One She's With and... I didn't hate 'em. In fact, I kinda liked 'em. In fact, about half the album is pretty alright. The other half, however, is like fingernails on a chalkboard. I was fully prepared to give this one star after song one. But the good songs brought the score up. Also, even though it's 11 songs, the album is only 28 minutes long. So, an extra star for brevity.
Carole King
4/5
This is a pretty remarkable album. It's absolutely choked with monster hits. The thing is, most of these hits I know because of other artists covering them. I don't think anyone can deny the sheer songwriting talent of Carole King. She's incredible. But every song is delivered in such a soft, chill manner that they rarely just GRAB you. But, ultimately, that's ok. The album feels whole in a way that very few albums do. Like it's all part of one, big... well, tapestry. Great songwriting, good performances. Overall, a pretty killer album.
1/5
This is my most hated form of country. Sad sack crooner bullshit. Love sucks, you suck, I suck (but I'm going to blame it on you), everything's terrible so let's just make everything even more terrible (but it's your fault). I found exactly ZERO songs that were worth a second listen or even half a first listen. Hated it. This is why people don't like country music.
The Streets
5/5
I knew, before I'd hit play, that I'd give this one a 5. I love The Streets so much. This album, along with Original Pirate Material and The Hardest Way to Make an Easy Living were on regular rotation in my car in the late aughts. The delivery is aggressively conversational, the lyrics deliver a beautifully sharp narrative, and the sparse beats provide the perfect bed for the vocal performance. I just... I just love The Streets. I just do.
The Cars
4/5
Ok, so.... this is New Wave. BUT. It's also full of iconic tracks for a reason. The Cars might be the best of the new wave movement. Good Times Roll, My Best Friend's Girl, You're All I've Got Tonight, Just What I Needed... monsters of the era. It's synthy but not bloopy. And the guitar tones on You're All I've Got Tonight and Bye Bye Love are killer no matter the genre. It's got an edge and an energy that is just missing from the vast majority of new wave albums. I expected to hate it but didn't. Solid album.
Prince
3/5
Huh. That wasn't what I expected. It was startlingly mediocre. Boring, even. Nothing stood out to me as particularly groundbreaking, exciting, or exceptional. I was glad to be done with it and sad to be glad. So much of Prince's catalog is phenominal. This album just doesn't have any of those songs, I guess.
Bruce Springsteen
2/5
A mediocre selection of working-class mumbles periodically broken up by unimpressive guitar solos and unnecessary saxophone solos.
David Holmes
3/5
I expected to hate this and I didn't. It wasn't like ... super interesting or anything. But it was good background music to my morning. Easy to ignore but still providing a good energy. Honestly, if these were break beats behind a rap vocal, the songs would crush. As it is, they feel mostly incomplete. Still good tracks, though.I expected to hate this and I didn't. It wasn't like ... super interesting or anything. But it was good background music to my morning. Easy to ignore but still providing a good energy. Honestly, if these were break beats behind a rap vocal, the songs would crush. As it is, they feel mostly incomplete. Still good tracks, though.
The Sabres Of Paradise
1/5
Pointless bullshit noise. These aren't songs. The're pieces of songs desperately trying to pass themselves off as complete songs. Useless and angering. Why the hell is this even on the list?!
Pink Floyd
5/5
I mean, it's a masterpiece. It's just so good I don't even care that there's a saxophone solo in it. Three monster hits (Welcome to the Machine, Have a Cigar, and Wish You Were Here) bookeneded by two 12+ minute pieces of some of the best prog-rock music ever written. No complaints, only positive vibes for this one.
The White Stripes
4/5
4Jack White is an undeniable talent and this album is mostly enjoyable but there are several moments where you can tell ol' Jackie Boy is just being wierd for the sake of weird. That's the thing that's made him the darling of the East Nashville scene but I personally find it annoying. Not so annoying that I can't enjoy the album but annoying nonetheless. The thing that really makes this album interesting to me is also the thing that makes Jack White interesting to me despite his eccentricities: the mixing. It deviates significantly from the established norms of "how to mix an album" and it stands out as very different from its contemoraries. I believe that unorthodox approach to mixing is what has made Third Man Records such a powerhouse in the industry in such a short time. A Jack White joint just ... feels different. It stands out.
Gang Starr
5/5
This is one of the most important hiphop albums ever produced even though a lot of folks outside of the scene haven't heard of it. In a time when hiphop was fracturing and trying desperately to find out what it was and what it could be, Gang Starr brought heavy, intellectual, clever lyrics over deeply funky boom-bap beats. The influence of this album can be felt in modern artists like The Roots, Sho Baraka, Nappy Roots, and Blackalicious. Musical significance aside, it's just real damn good. Just DAMN good. An absolute pleasure to listen to.
Buena Vista Social Club
4/5
Well, that was an unexpected joy to listen to. I don't understand a word they're saying but dang if I don't wish I did. They seem to be having so much fun. In some ways, I'm glad I couldn't understand what was being said. It made the whole album into a killer soundtrack for work that enhanced the experience but didn't distract me from the words I was writing. Musicality is so on point it should be bleeding. Just really great.
Incubus
2/5
I can think of a lot of albums more deserving of being on this list than Make Yourself. It's not that it's bad, necessarily. It's just not good. This album was tops for the whole nu-metal scene which I'm just not a fan of. Be metal. Don't be metal. Either is fine. This shake-and-fake, half-assed, sing-song nonsense is honestly kind of annoying to me. Every song sounds the same, the vocals are whiney and emo punctuated by repeated "daddy won't hug me" refrains. Not my jam.
Love
2/5
Honestly, there's nothing really stand out here. Some of these songs are duds some are okay but nothing tips the scales either way. On balance, it's decidedly mediocre. I liked A House Is Not A Motel and Bummer In The Summer alright though. So it's saved from a failing mark on the weight of those two songs alone.
Sonic Youth
3/5
While I'm a fan of Sonic Youth in theory, this one didn't do it for me. It was very experimental and... noisy. Just really noisy. Not very enjoyable to listen to. That said, I can ABSOLUTELY hear the foundations of a hundred other bands in this one album. It's a critical album to the american music scene. Just not one I'd want to listen to on a regular basis. It does earn bonus points for having several William Gibson allusions including a whole song inspired by Gibson's Sprawl Trilogy. Not enough to lift it past a 3, though. Did I mention it was noisy? It's just so damn noisy...
Rod Stewart
2/5
Man... apologies to the folks who love the guy but Rod Stewart is just so daggum mediocre. There's literally nothing special about 99% of his songs. Even "Maggie May" his big break-out song is just... meh. It starts with some weird chamber music piece which doesn't even segue into the main song. It just stops. Then starts a relatively bland song. Just not a fan.
The Go-Go's
5/5
Well, this one took my by surprise. Everyone knows The Go-Go's big hit "We Got The Beat" of course. That's where my knowledge of them ended until today. This is considered a cornerstone Nu Wave band but damn if it doesn't sound like a poppy punk album to me. A freaking great one at that. I found myself absolutely cranking this one and loving it. No negatives. Haters be damned, this album is fire. Loved it.
Ice Cube
3/5
It's not my favorite flavor of hiphop but this album is solid. I mean, Ice Cube has always been ready to get up in faces and speak hard truths. That is very much on display here. Commentary on race, violence, inequality, culture, etc. is delivered with agressive poeticism. The biggest issue is that the beats are hella dated. SUPER dated. A related issue is that every track sounds so similar to the last that that my ears are worn out by track four.
Sly & The Family Stone
4/5
This one started out rough but, by track 4, it finds its literal groove and starts bringing the deep funk that one expects from a Sly joint. That's not to say that the first few tracks are bad. From a songwriting perspective, they're solid and drop you neck deep into some serious social commentary. They're just rough... and not very funky. Still an absolute crusher of a band and a really good album with some of their most recognizable hits on it ("Everyday People" and "You Can Make It If You Try" being the biggest).
Common
4/5
This is a solid album. Like, legitimately great. The only reason it didn't get a 5 is because there's a significant amount of batshitcrazy on display that detracts from the overall goodness. Also, as a point of personal preference, I'm not a fan of the overly R&B tracks. So, yeah. Great record docked a star because "it's me, not you."
5/5
This is one of my favorite Beatles albums, hands down. I don't actually have much more to say about it. I just love it.
Waylon Jennings
3/5
Well, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I still really hate that whimpering steel guitar sound with a deep and abiding passion and the lyrical content of most of these songs absolutely do not connect with me. But not all of them. There are some solid tracks here. Enough to give it a middling grade from me, at least.
KISS
3/5
You know, this one didn't age as badly as I expected it to. That said, actively listening to a KISS record feels like an exercise in cognative dissonance. On one hand, you have a whole album of youth power anthems. But, when the album was released, Gene Simmons was 26. It feels like pandering. You're also talking about a band who was considered "so evil" at the time but, in retrospect, their songs were super plain-jane vanilla even in the context of their contemporaries. Overall, I felt like it was "meh" but not in an altogether bad way.
Tom Waits
2/5
Tom Waits makes Bruce "King Mumbles" Springsteen sound like a paragon of enunciation. Holy crap. People pay this guy to sing?! I mean, it has a certain kitsch but geeze. I found myself struggling to understand what the hell he was saying and I listen to hardcore metal where the vocalists are often screaming sentence fragments instead of singing. From a musicality standpoint, the songs are great and the recording quality is on point. It's just Ol' Tom's singing ... it's hard to get through sometimes. There are a few killer tracks on here where Tom's voice isn't ... as bad. "Downtown" is a great song. So is the title track, "Heartattack And Vine" (though I prefer the Screamin' Jay Hawkins cover). But "Saving All My Love For You" is almost unlistenable. And it's not the only track dragging this album's score down.
David Bowie
5/5
One of my favorite Bowie albums to date. Something about it is especially touching compared to later albumbs. It's tender and understated but also powerful. Bowie's undeniable talent comes through with a strength and softness like a velvet hammer. SO good.
5/5
I needed exactly this album today. I mean, this is one of those all-time-great albums anyway but there's nothing like listening to the perfect album for a particular time. This morning, this is the album I needed and I'm not even a U2 fan. But these tracks are undeniable monsters.
The Slits
2/5
Not my favorite. I know that The Slits were a ground-breaking, genre-defying band and, for that alone, they deserve a place on this list. That said, this album is a total mess. There's really one good track here ("Typical Girls") and the rest is kinda noise for the sake of noise. It's okay. But it's not good punk. It's just punk.
ZZ Top
4/5
This is a great record, honestly. It only gets docked a star because it's not ALL great. Just MOSTLY great. But the songs that are great are REALLY great. "Waitin' For The Bus," "Jesus Just Left Chicago," and, of course, "La Grange" are just ... man. So good.
1/5
What a waste of time and energy. Why this is on the list, I have no idea but it needs to be removed. It's just utter shit.
Leonard Cohen
3/5
Cohen is an undeniable songwriting powerhouse but his performance on this album is just ... boring. Musically, every song is strikingly similar even while the lyrics are deeply different and, frankly, brilliant. This is also Cohen before his voice went pear-shaped so his singing is pretty dang good for Cohen. I want to like this album more than I do. But I don't.
3/5
You know, I didn't hate this album. I didn't love it either. It was just ... okay. I enjoyed listening to it in the background as I got stuff done. There aren't really any standout tracks and, on a whole, the album felt like a bit of a jumbled mess. Maybe it's my lack of connection to the material. The wiki says that this was a bit of a love letter to New York. That city doesn't need a love letter. It needs a tetanus shot and a month in rehab. But it wasn't bad by any stretch of the imagination. It really wasn't. Perfectly adequate. Extremely middling.
R.E.M.
5/5
I unashamedly love this album. A lot of folks point to Document as R.E.M.'s best album but I would argue that it was simply the album that brought them into the mainstream spotlight. THIS is the best R.E.M. album. The songwriting, production, and performances are all on point. Sharp, emotional, layered and complex, it's just a damn good album from every angle. Even on the slow jams, there's an ENERGY that pulses behind the music that is just compelling. Back when I was doing critical listening as part of my degree, this was one of our reference albums—basically, an album that was SO well recorded and mixed that you could listen to it on super high-end audiophile equipment and pick it apart to understand what was going on.
AC/DC
5/5
Such a beast of an album. Just legendary. Every song is a banger. Every track a shredder. "Relentless" is a really great descriptor for this album. It never lets up, never slows down, never lets you rest. It's the opposite of a rickroll.
Nas
4/5
So, I never really listened to Nas much before today. And I'm decently versed with most hiphop. Nas just never really appealed to me, though. Luckily for me, this project is forcing me to listen to things that don't appeal to me because Nas really IS an extremely talented rapper. His rhyme game is on point. The constantly interweaving internal rhyme schemes are out of control and really unexpected for an east-coast act in '94. According to the wiki article, it kinda started with him. Well, thanks Nas. Docked a star because, while the lyricism is off the chain, the content is ... repetitive and shallow (though still better than 99% of the east-coast rap of the time).
Joy Division
3/5
I feel like I'm SUPPOSED to like Joy Division. On paper, at least. They were the front wave of the post-punk movement and it shows. It's still mostly punk. But something about it just ... doesn't hit. I think it's mostly that it's missing the sheer, nihilistic joy of punk music. Instead, it's unrelentingly dark and moody. It's not bad and, if I were in the right mood, I imagine this would absolutely hit some buttons. But I'm not generally in a dark depressed mood so, instead, I'm left just feeling "meh" about it.
Isaac Hayes
2/5
Yeah, that's a no for me, dawg. I never realized, before listening to this album, that something could be simultaneously excessive and not enough. This album is SO MUCH. Long tracks, extended vocal and instrumental stretches, a whole, spoken-word story for some reason. And yet, it leaves me wanting and feeling like I'm missing something. There's a lack of substance that I just don't get. The only reason this was saved from a one-star review is that the musicianship is incredible even if it's not being leveraged to its full potential.
Brian Eno
2/5
Yeah, no. This was boring as hell. Just ... nothing much interesting at all. Even as background music, it bored me to tears. The only reason this isn't getting a single-star review is because the production is excellent. And it should be. That's truly Eno's greatest strength.
Roxy Music
4/5
The saying, "Don't just a book by its cover" doesn't usually apply to albums. Generally speaking, you WANT your album covers to give people an indication of what they're getting into. Before I hit play on this one, I had a definite idea of what I was about to be listening to. I was wrong. This was ... good. The Wiki article has this pegged as "glam rock" and "prog rock" but, to me, it felt like proto-punk. In a good way. I don't know. Whatever it is, I dig it. Docked a star because a lot of the second half is too damn Brian Eno for my liking. Also, WTF is up with that last track? It's a rip off of the damn Monster Mash. Why would you do that?
The Roots
5/5
I mean. It's a top 5 hiphop album for me for sure. The whole album is just packed with top-of-the-game, unrelenting, socially-concious spitting backed by power beats. Impossibly good.
Talking Heads
2/5
I expected more from this album. The big single from it ("Psycho Killer") is a crusher but, sadly, the rest of the album doesn't live up to that track. It feels ... lazy. And not in the good, "gonna sit on the couch with a bourbon and a good book" kind of lazy. The whole album feels phoned in. Boring. It's only saved from a truly failing mark by "Psycho Killer" being so damn good. It's like they poured all their energy into that one song and had nothing left for the rest of the album. Disappointing.
Beatles
5/5
Just a damn great album. Just ... just so great. If I didn't have a soft spot for the sheer quirkiness of "Rubber Soul", "Revolver" would be my #1 Beatles album. Great songwriting, performances, production, and arrangments from top to bottom. Hands down, one of the all-time greats of rock and roll.
Minutemen
5/5
I really enjoyed this way more than expected. Clearly punk, but with strong jazz influences, Minutemen live up to their name. The longest track on the album is 2:58 long and it's very much the outlier. Most tracks clock in well under 2 minutes which is why they can get away with an album that's 43 tracks long. Because of the track lengtsh and the sheer volume of tracks, I assumed, before listening to it, that the album would feel scattered. I was pleasently surprised to find that not to be the case. It feels coherent if frantic. I really liked it, honestly. I was going to give it 4 stars but, as I listened, I realized that the musical talent on display here is actually phenominal. It just goes under the radar because of the short-form, punk rock format.
The Clash
5/5
This is a top ten album for me, no question. I love every track. It's iconic and genre-defining. I've got nothing else. It's just everything I want from a punk album ... of from any album really.
Happy Mondays
3/5
I mean ... meh? There's legitimately nothing that stands out. As background music, it's utterly ignorable. Which means that there's also nothing BAD here. Nothing that snags the ear. It's just .. meh.
Suede
2/5
Utterly pointless waste of time. Milquetoast britpop. Apparently, people compare Suede to early Bowie. Those comparisions are bold at best and insulting at worst. The only reason this doesn't get one star is because there's nothing TECHNICALLY wrong with it. The musicianship and production values are fine. It's just so damn bland. It's cream of wheat to Bowie's strawberry tart.
Dexys Midnight Runners
2/5
I'm on record as being morally opposed to any "rock" band with a horn section. That comes into play here as every damn song is horn driven. I'm so sick of saxophones. Also, blue-eyed soul is just the worst. The. Worst. In short, this album was a trial to listen to and I didn't enjoy my time.
Alanis Morissette
5/5
Let's get one thing out of the way: this album is DATED. The mixing, the songwriting, the instrumentation ... everything about this album firmly plants it in a specific time frame. Usually, that's a bad thing when the time frame is mid-90s. Somehow (and I'm not sure how, honestly), "Jagged Little Pill" manages to be both a perfect example of an album from '95 AND a great album. There are things that I don't like ... but not enough for me to give it anything less than 5 stars. There are too many great tracks. It demands a 5-star review.
Wu-Tang Clan
2/5
I know that Wu-Tang is like, rap royalty. They're boom-bap kings. But ... I kinda hate 'em. The lyrics are trash. Content and delivery. All pointless. The beats are repetitive and unimaginative. The whole kung-fu flavor just comes off goofy as hell. Every single member of Wu-Tang went on to make music that was SO MUCH BETTER THAN WU-TANG. Two stars for cultural importance only.
The Temptations
4/5
The Temptations are a weird group. They were early pioneers in funk but they came out of the motown scene. Most bands who straddle the genre line like this produce songs that sort of smear the line between. Not The Temptations. Oh, no. The songs on this album are very solidly either funk or motown. I love the funk tracks so much. They hit the pocket and just grind. They're great. The motown tracks no so much. They're great examples of motown soul ... I just don't dig the genre.
The Undertones
4/5
Just a solid punk album. I really enjoyed it. There wasn't much that stood out but it was fun. The lyrics didn't take themselves seriously, the tracks were full of energy, and the production was solid but not polished (which is proper for punk). I liked it.
The Divine Comedy
2/5
Exceptionally boring. Eminently skippable. Utterly unremarkable. SAved from a one-star score because I recognized that one song from the "Father Ted" credits ("Songs of Love") and because none of the songs are actually offensively bad.
Bee Gees
2/5
This is pre-disco Bee Gees which means it's not even interesting in an annoying way. This was just bleh. Insipid lyrics, music that's trying SO HARD to sound like other bands, and mediocre production combine to create a completely forgettable experience.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
2/5
Elvis Costello is highly overrated. This album is no exception. Literally. There is not a single exceptional track on this album. The mixing and production isn't even very good on this album. It's all mids and compressed to hell so everthing sounds flat.
ABBA
1/5
Utter. Garbage. Disco is the worst thing to ever happen to music. So much hate.
Elvis Presley
3/5
I fully expected to give this album a 1 star review. Maybe it's because I had to listen to Abba yesterday but, in comparison, this is ... not offensive. And really, that was Elvis's whole deal, right? Let's take music being made by black people and remake it so that it's just white enough that white people won't be offended by its blackness. And it worked. And it had a lasting impact on the world because it - this album - helped bring Rock and Roll into the mainstream. Every track is still a shadow of the original but they're not bad. Just ... whitewashed.
Ravi Shankar
2/5
This is so not my genre. I can tell that Ravi is hella talented but the constant, repetitive, droning of the sitar absolutely gives me anxiety. There are some really interesting bit in here where Ravi gives short lessons on how Indian music is built and what to listen for which is the only thing saving this from a one-star review.
Nick Drake
5/5
I actually had to listen to this album twice. The first time, I was doing stuff and it mostly just felt like generic 70s singer-songwriter stuff. But I could tell that I was missing something so I gave it another listen in the afternoon and yeah, the songwriting is really deep. The album is simple. It's just a single vocal and a single guitar. The focus is entirely on the songwriting which is quite good. It's dark and depressing. But very very good.
Johnny Cash
5/5
Well, that's just a damn good album. Cash can be hit and miss for me but this was 100% a hit. Every track perfect and powerful. Even more so knowing his audience for this one. Just damn good. His reputation is earned. Elvis be damned. Cash is King.
Killing Joke
4/5
I liked this way more than I thought I would. It's a weird mash of genres: proto-industrial, post-punk, metal... But the mix works. It was also nice to have some actual rock and roll for once. It falls shy of full marks only because a few of the tracks are a bit (or more than a bit) monotonous/obnoxious.
Stevie Wonder
3/5
So much of this album sounds like a Casio keyboard demo that it's hard to give it any stars. The only thing saving this from a one-star review is "Superstition" which is good enough to garner almost two stars on its own. It's truly a standout track. Literally. It stands out because it doesn't match the rest of the album at all. There are a few other tracks that aren't too bad but nothing approaches the mountain of a track that is "Superstition".
Q-Tip
4/5
I'm an unabashed fan of experimental hiphop and this fits the bill. The lyricism is clever, the content is (for the most part) interesting and, at times, real heavy. I like that. The biggest issue with it that the tracks start to sort of blend together about a third of the way through. There are a few that break the mold but, for the most part, it's a pretty one-note album. No bangers, very little fire. Still real good, though. Just not 5-star fare.
Nick Drake
5/5
I'm starting to suspect that Nick Drake might have been one of the greatest songwriters the world has ever seen. His early death at 26 robbed the world of something great. These songs are heartwrenchingly beautiful. Their dark sadness offer a window into the heart and mind of a man who overdosed on anti-depressants. He just wanted to feel better. Absolutely heart breaking.
Nick Drake
5/5
Two days in a row I've gotten a Nick Drake album. In fact, I have been given his entire catalog (it's sadly only three albums) in just over a week. I'm not mad about this. If anything, it's solidified the fact that Nick Drake was absolutely one of the greatest songwriters to ever live. This album was my least favorite of the three but it was still amazing. It perfectly expresses Drake's struggles with depression without being dark. It's a perfect picture of depression, honestly. It just IS without being a whole dramatic deal. The production is more involved on this album than on the one before and the one after and that detracts from the power of the songs, in my opinion. It's a testament to how damn good these songs are that the album still receives full marks from me.
Belle & Sebastian
2/5
I had so many friends who were into this back in the day. I didn't get it then and I don't get it now. Proto-emo, cutsie-tootsie, shoegaze bullshit. The only reason this got 2 stars is because the production quality is excellent.
Fela Kuti
4/5
This is generally not my genre. That said, the sheer unbridled energy brought to music on this album is infectious. It's 100% a protest album and also 100% and act of creative freedom. It was his way of saying "screw you I'm going to be me and be free no matter what." And you have to respect that. Even so, it really really wasn't my jam. So I can't give it full marks.
Simple Minds
1/5
Shite, twaddle, and unredeemable, synthetic trash.
Mott The Hoople
4/5
Like the last Mott album I got, I was pleasantly surprised by this album. Maybe it was due to lowered expectations (I've had a lot of duds lately) butthe songwriting is surprisingly solid and, while there are some tracks that are way too try-hard, the band sticks to its own thing for the most part. And that thing is solid. Not amazing. But really solid.
Black Sabbath
4/5
I knew I would enjoy this album if only because it's been ages since I was served a legit rock album. What I wasn't prepared for, for some reason, was the level of musical skill on display. This is (checks notes) their first album and they're all playing like seasoned veterans. Really impressive chops. It does get docked one star because of the cheesy, try-hard, "ooh, we're so scary" lyrics.
Love
4/5
This band is listed as "psychedelic rock" which ... isn't wrong, exactly. But it's also not entirely right. At times, it feels very Stones and at times, it feels like early punk but with more skill. It was like the best of psychedelia and the best of punk and it was really enjoyable... mostly. I loved it up until the last track which got very self-indulgent and then the vocalist just sorta started screaming... not the best experience and it did kill what was going to be a 5 star review. Still a good album, though.
Alice Cooper
4/5
I don't know what I expected from this album, honestly. Not this, though. Half of the album felt like a Stones ripp-off band. The other half was more metal ... but not by much. I know it was early days for metal but, still. I don't know. It's not bad but it's also not special. Except for "No More Mr. Nice Guy" - one whole star for that track alone.
Sleater-Kinney
4/5
This one his hard. I mean, it's punk, right? You don't expect pretty vocals from a punk album. And, as a fan of punk, I'm not much bothered by harsh, off-tone, or grating vocals. Nor do I have issues with female vox that are brash and rough. I kinda dig the riot grrl thing, to be honest. That said, I do think that the main vocalist is the primary issue here. The problems are two-fold. First, the vocals are super inconsistent. One track will be great, the next will be indiscipherably mumble-shouted. The next will start great and then turn into atonal nonsense. The second issue is Corin Tucker's leaning into her vibrato too heavily. Her vocals on this album are a one-trick-pony that's asked to perform so often that the trick loses its novelty. Overall, though, this is a solid punk album and I'm here for the riot grrl schtick. It works for me.
Cocteau Twins
2/5
It's not exactly BAD but it sure is super boring. There's nothing–literally nothing–about this album that stands out except for the fact that the vocals are utterly indescipherable which takes the album from a "meh" 3 stars to a "nope" 2 stars.
The Avalanches
2/5
I feel like one would need a belly full of E to really jam to this album. It's poppy without being catchy, edgy without being cool, eclectic without being interesting. It feels like some kids who were big fans of The Crystal Method tried their hands at something similar but missed the mark. It listens like a "nailed it" meme. The only thing saving this from a one-star review is the production being top-notch and because the track "Frontier Psychiatrist" is actually a really fun track for being a giant, jumbled sample-salad. It's about a minute too long but it's fun nonetheless.
The Stone Roses
3/5
Meh. Left very little impression, TBH. It's not bad by any means. It just doesn't do much that's new or interesting. I might need to give this one another try later.
Joni Mitchell
4/5
I didn't expect to like this one but I did. Great lyrics, good production, and Joni's voice grew on me. Not much more to be said there, to be honest. Solid 4 stars.
Cyndi Lauper
2/5
The 80s were a hard time for music. Technology was making a lot of new sounds possible and it seems that very few people stopped to wonder if they SHOULD use those new, blippy-bloopy, zip-zap synths just because they could. The end result is a lot of music that's just not good. This album among them. "Time After Time" is a fairly well-written song and Cyndi Lauper is a pretty talented vocalist so the album is saved from a failing mark ... but only just.
Drive Like Jehu
5/5
Oh man, for something classified as "emo" this album sure has teeth. It's vicious in all the best ways. If emo still sounded like this, I'd absolutely be an emo kid. Froburg's vocals howl at you from the speakers with all the passion and fire that you get with all the great punk vocalists. The guitars are wielded like dueling power saws artfully slicing apart the melody and recombining it into something beautiful and vulnerably raw. Basically, this album is everything that I love about punk and hardcore but with the added layer of emotional openness and honesty. Loved it. Couldn't love it more. Wish I could give it 6 stars.
B.B. King
5/5
B.B. King is THE king for a reason. He's just a phenomenal performer. This live album is a great demonstration of his power, skill, and sheer magnetism. There are so many great, utterly classic blues tracks here that it's hard to find much to fault. The biggest issue is that there isn't MORE B.B. King on this list.
Blondie
4/5
You know, this was surprisingly enjoyable. Not what I expected. It rides the edge of punk without ever quite getting there but it's entertaining not the less.
Pixies
5/5
This is just a great album. Super fun, razor sharp, and just a bit ridiculous. Nothing to hate, lots to love. Full marks.
Ladysmith Black Mambazo
4/5
Beautiful. I don't understand a word of it and I don't have to. The acapella harmonies wash over you and just leave you floating in a sea of sound. It alternates between lively and hauntingly beautiful. Sure, it gets pretty repetitive, almost hypnotic at times, and I felt my attention wandering which is why it doesn't get a 5-star review. But, despite that, it's a great album and I'm glad it's on this list.
Sonic Youth
2/5
Meh. It's just sloppy noise-rock. There are so many Sonic Youth albums on this list. I don't get what all the fuss is about.
Shivkumar Sharma
3/5
Apparently, you can't actually listen to the original album on Spotify. What the site links to is a some sort of re-recorded version by Shivkumar Sharma's son? I was able to find a version on Youtube, though. Which is great because the version on Spotify (apparently a remake by his son) was trash. The ACTUAL album is hauntingly beautiful. I can see how this inspired a generation of musicians.
FKA twigs
5/5
This whole album is a mood and I'm here for it. Brilliant production, great vocals, lots of energy (without being frantic). I'm sad that it took me this long to experience it.
Kate Bush
1/5
I'm sorry, what? What the hell did I just listen to? What's that? "Experimental" you say? Listen, mate. You can't just say something is "experimental" as though that excuses everything. It's shite. Unlistenable shite. Call it what it is.
Talking Heads
2/5
There are too many Talking Heads albums on this list. Just like all the others, about a third of these tracks are okay, the other two-thirds are pointless, repetitive, boring, or annoying. I'm being generous with two stars.
The Modern Lovers
5/5
I really REALLY enjoyed this album. The very best of protopunk, you can hear the seeds of the Ramones, Sex Pistols, Violent Femmes, and more. Loved it. Full marks.
Echo And The Bunnymen
3/5
Nothing much going on here, to be honest. A decent attempt at an early-Bowie-esqe take on post-punk music. I didn't hate it but it sure didn't have much of note to recommend it.
The Lemonheads
4/5
It's a great example of early 90s alt-rock. It really is. Only problem is I can point to a dozen bands that sound exactly the same from the same era. But, for what it is, it's good and deserves a place on the list.
Bob Dylan
5/5
This is Old Dylan at his darkest and I mean that in the very best way. Dylan's voice has aged so well. Granted, his early voice wasn't the best so it's not a far trip to "better" but, even so, Old Dylan's voice is a pleasure to listen to. It feels like it has finally grown to match his powerful songwriting. The end result is an amazing piece of art that cuts hard.
LCD Soundsystem
2/5
You know, this started strong and I was like, "heck yeah, this is four stars easy!" but dang does it ever get repetitive as hell. Halfway through, my ears were exhausted. An few songs later, I wanted to stab things. By the time I was finished, I was mostly just angry that there is more than one LCD Soundsystem album on this list because that means that I have to do this again at some point. Also someone needs to have their cowbell confiscated until they can prove that they can be responsible with it.
Isaac Hayes
4/5
I mean, it's Shaft, right? Baby, if you can't groove on this at least a little bit, I don't know if we can jive, dig? This is prime, buttered funk. But ... well, it's a bit dated at this point, you know? For example, "Cafe Regio" sounds like it should be playing in an elevator at some resort in Miami. Still a great album filled with sick grooves, though.
Spiritualized
2/5
Eh. Very little to recommend it, TBH. There were a couple of tracks that were alright but they're outnumbered by how many were just a pointless mess. Not impressed.
Sonic Youth
2/5
A few decent songs regularly broken up with pointless, atonal noise. It might be "art" but it's not art, if you know what I'm saying.
The Mothers Of Invention
1/5
This ... this is parody, right? Like, a joke album? No? Are you sure? Huh. Well, it's not very good then, is it? Half-assed crap, really. I mean, kazoos? Really?!
Queen Latifah
4/5
The only reason this doesn't get five stars is because it not timeless. The beats and delivery style absolutely peg this as a rap album from the late 80s-early 90s. But, for the time, this album is absolutely head of the class. The lyrics are so sharp they draw blood just brushing against them. It's rare for a debut album to be such a great indication of an artist's legacy but, with "All Hail the Queen" Latifa made it clear that she was here to stay and ready to rumble. And she has. Her impact on music (and film) in America is undeniable. And it's all on display here. Great album.
Sonic Youth
3/5
Hey, this doesn't suck. It's like Sonic Youth finally discovered the magic elements of "song structure" and "composition" and used those to make an album that wasn't unlistenable bullshit noise. Still not, like, good or anything. But it's not awful and that seems to be the bar for the Sonic Youth albums on this list.
The Smashing Pumpkins
5/5
This one held up really well. Just a great album. The composition, instrumentation, and lyrics are all on point. I know a lot of folks hate on Corgan's voice but it's never bothered me and it matches the lyrics and feel of these songs so well. Just really great.
Morrissey
2/5
Morrissey has low self esteem but he's a complete tosser so he's going to take it out on everyone else. Anyway, enjoy this hatefuck of an album.
Badly Drawn Boy
2/5
Well. That's just ... really boring, innit? Shame.
1/5
Well, that didn't age well, did it? Nope. This album exists in a very narrow slice of musical history and it should stay there. We've already got Bowie filling out the "weird 80s electropop" portion of the list. Let's just let this budget ripoff disappear into obscurity, alright?
Megadeth
5/5
Man, there's nothing quite like old-school speed metal. Is it a bit dated? Sure. But it still shreds so damn hard. The sheer, raw musicianship on display is out of this world. Really fun record.
Steely Dan
4/5
It's really hard to find any fault with this album. It's just solid. Maybe not the most exciting at times, but not a dud track in the listing. And, honestly, "Reelin' In The Years" is one of the most iconic songs of the 70s for a reason. Super solid entry to the list.
The Yardbirds
4/5
Solid entry. A bit pretentious at times but what do you you expect? It's The Yardbirds. Fun listen, though.
Louis Prima
4/5
This was a surprisingly fun record. I did not expect to enjoy this album NEARLY as much as I did. It felt like the soundtrack to an old black & white film or a modern Pixar movie - in all the best ways. There's so much life and joy and energy here. It's just a blast. That said, it's definitely a particular vibe and I'm not usually in the mood for something likt that. But I'm making a note of this one to come back to when I AM in the mood because, when you want it, it comes in hot.
Boston
4/5
I didn't think that I was super familiar with Boston before today but it turns out they are the soundtrack to every movie ever set in the 70's. Enjoyable listen.
Bobby Womack
2/5
A lot of reviews call this "funky" and I call shenanigans on that. It's BORDERING on funk but stays too solidly in the smooth R&B camp to be funky. And "smooth" is another word for "boring" when applied to music. Boring is exactly what I found this album to be.
Beatles
5/5
It might not be the best of their albums but "Rubber Soul" is my personal favorite Beatles album. The lyrics are clever and funny and deep and the musicianship is of course top notch. Great record.
Hawkwind
3/5
I have never been high enough to appreciate this album. Even so, it was almost good until the pseudo-intellectual nonsense monologues started. Kind of a mood killer.
The Crusaders
1/5
Elevator disco trash. Utterly pointless.
Crosby, Stills & Nash
3/5
You know, it's not bad. Good songwriting, great harmonies... It's definitely its own vibe and if you're feeling it, it's good stuff.
Morrissey
2/5
You know, pre-comeback Morrissey isn't as bad as post-comeback Morrissey but it's still pretentious, self-centered, sad-sack twaddle and I'm not here for it.
D'Angelo
2/5
Sure, it's peak 90s R&B but is that really saying much? For what it is, it's good. It's just that what it is isn't much, you know? It's an entire album of shallow sexism wrapped in a thin veneer of so-called romance. Nah. Pass.
The Kinks
3/5
Nothing to hate here. Very solid representation of a time and place. There's some ... we'll call it "experimental" engineering choices on this album that didn't exactly work out all that great but, overall, it's a chill, fun, 60s britrock album.
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
3/5
For a debut, it's not bad but there sure is a whole lot of Springsteen-esque garbage in here. Not enough to tank the album but enough to take the score down significantly. I'm really glad Petty and his boys figured out their own thing and got better from here. "Breakdown" and "American Girl" are both great tracks, though.
Ray Charles
4/5
When I was much younger, I remember encountering an album entitled "The Shape of Punk to Come" by Refused and thinking, "Boy, they sure think a lot of themselves. That might be the ballsiest album title I've ever heard." Well, it turns out Ray Charles beat them to it. A black man in '62 claiming he's got the key to modern Country & Western was all balls. He backs it up with this album, though. It's real damn good. It's clearly country but also clearly not. The combination of styles coupled with his clear appreciation for the source material make it really hard to deny how damn good the album is. I mean, I don't even like country and I'm digging this record. I can see why it has been hailed as not just a great album but for breaking down racial walls in the music industry.
Nirvana
5/5
It's just hit after hit and even the songs that aren't radio singles are good. This album lives on the fuzzy, disallusioned edge of the punk movement and I love it for its sheer nihilistic angst.
Mylo
3/5
There's no chance of this destroying rock & roll. It doesn't have the energy for that. It's just going to sit on the couch, baked out of its mind, and talk shit about rock & roll instead.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
2/5
Again, I feel like I'm supposed to like Nick Cave but I just don't. He tries SO HARD to be dark and broody and edgy and uncomfortable. It just leaves me thinking of that kid in drama class who wanted all the lead roles but overacted EVERYTHING so always got relegated to bit parts so he wouldn't screw up the whole show. You're not Hamlet, Nick. You're Rosencrantz.
Sufjan Stevens
2/5
Geeze. Someone give this bastard a hug and a cup of strong black coffee. It's nothing but a stack of sad-sack, hipster, pseudo-deep lyrics that are utterly lacking in perspective or passion. The only saving grace is that the musicianship and production are absolutely stellar.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
5/5
Hit after hit after hit. It almost got a 4 from me just because it's super dated and, at times, kinda cheesy, but it's just so dang fun.
Ice T
5/5
I haven't listened to OG since around when it came out so it was really surprising just how brilliant it is. I was blown away by the lyricism and the consuming beats. Really dang good work.
X-Ray Spex
4/5
There are some really classic brit-punk anthems on this album and Poly Styrene is one of the most iconic female punk singers ever. Punk is my genre and I'm generally here for the riot grrrl thing but I'll admit that, even for me, a whole album of this started to wear me out. 'Oh Bondage, Up Yours" is still one of my favorite punk tracks but I can only take so much. Also saxophone solos can suck it.
Gary Numan
1/5
Nope. Unrelentingly repetitive sine-saw-synth with atonal vocals shouting disconnected lyrics. This didn't need to exist. Hard no.
The Kinks
2/5
Meh. This one's pretty boring, honestly. There's nothing that stands out as particularly interesting or unique and a lot that just sounds like low-budget rip-offs of other bands.
Manu Chao
4/5
Well, that was a delightful surprise. This album was just fun. It was energetic without being frantic, proud of its roots while staying accessible, complex without being too complicated. I really enjoyed it.
Cheap Trick
2/5
The point of a live album is to take everything that makes the studio album great and amp it up with the energy of a live show. Unfortunately, Cheap Trick is just a sloppy mess live, apparently. The hits are still good but everything is just... loose. And the recording isn't even hight quality. It's just not worth it, really.
Jethro Tull
2/5
Someone's middle school band director lied to them. Flute is not rock and roll, buddy. This album has no idea what it wants to be and it's utterly frustrating. Every track starts off really great ... and then the flute shows up and wrecks the whole rock vibe. Without the flute, this would have been a 4-star album easily. As it stands, I'm being generous with a 2-star review. Extremely generous. That damn flute...
Neu!
1/5
This, boys and girls, is why it's important to listen to an album all the way through before rating it. I was pleasantly surprised by the first three tracks of this six-track album. They're chill but interesting melodic soundscapes and they made a nice backdrop to my morning. Unfortunately, those first three tracks are followed by 20+ minutes of incoherent screaming and mind-numbingly repetitive drums that utterly tanked the album for me.
Sparks
1/5
This try-hard, bad-falsetto, weird-for-the-sake-of-being-weird album full of cut-rate Elton John and Freddie Mercury impressions and discount-bin creeper-ballads for some reason just didn't manage to impress me. It's not even an also-ran with its contemporaries, it's just a bad knock-off.
Suzanne Vega
2/5
I mean, it's not bad, right? But it sure as hell isn't good. The vocals are ho-hum, the songwriting is faux-deep, and the whole thing suffers deeply from that horrible 80s studio production that leaves every instrument feeling plastic and synthetic. Acoustic guitars really shouldn't need that much processing.
Johnny Cash
5/5
So this album is great. Obviously. And, taken by itself, it's a masterpiece live album against which other live albums should be measured which is why it's earned a 5-star review from me. That said, I'm unclear as to why this list contains both "At Folsom Prison" and "At San Quentin" since they're essentially the same album. The amount of deja vu that I experienced listening to this after having listened to the other was uncomfortable. Sure the tracks (barring one, "Folsom Prison Blues", which is on both albums) are all different but the banter, lyrical content, and delivery is so similar that you'd be hard pressed, if the tracks were mixed up, to tell which song went on which album.
Talk Talk
2/5
Yet another mediocre new wave band on the list. I'm not even surprised by it anymore. I just expect to get at least one a week. Like ALL the other so far, this is ignorable bordering on annoying. At least the singer's voice is half-decent. That earns it a two star review.
CHIC
1/5
Did you know that "Good Times" is over 8 minutes long? I sure didn't before today. Let me tell you, that's about 6 minutes longer than it needs to be. And, as annoying as that song is, it's the best part of this whole record. Disco is just the worst.
Black Sabbath
4/5
Yet another crusher by Sabbath full of bangers and fire. Docked a star because of a few overly tryhard, "oh, I'm a scary boy" moments but, overall, a fun listen.
Steely Dan
3/5
The album name is exceptionally appropriate as it never actually manages to reach a climax, just slowly builds to what one assumes is one. Maybe it's performance anxiety. I hear it's very common.
Motörhead
2/5
Let me tell you something. The world did not need nearly two hours of live Motörhead. Especially since a) the recording quality is super low and b) they blew their wad early by putting "Ace of Spades" as the very first track. It's 100% downhill from there with each track progressively sounding more and more similar. The end result is two hours of growling over a bed of fuzzy mess.
Pet Shop Boys
1/5
This album is a good reminder that those crappy demo buttons on cheap Casio keyboards used to play something that sounded like popular music. Unfortunately for Pet Shop Boys, this album has aged exactly as well as those awful Casio demo tracks. Which is to say not at all. "Behaviour" is an absolute trash album that only serves as a monument to how truly terrible music was in the late 80s and early 90s.
Ramblin' Jack Elliott
2/5
While the songs themselves weren't blatantly BAD, they also weren't awesome. I get that Ol' Jack was in the mix with influential people but I just can't get past the fake, put-on southerness. You're from New York, sir. Don't tell me you've ever actually seen a boll weevil, you poser.
Soundgarden
4/5
I almost gave this album 5 stars just because it's been so long since I got an album with teeth. But, listening to this objectively, it's not a 5-star album. So many of these tracks sound exactly like each other. They're solid for all that, though. The album is full of energy and grit and attitude and I'm here for it.
John Grant
3/5
Boy, this one was a bit of a rollercoaster. It's a collab with Midlake and they're amazing talents so it sounds great. But there are several problematic things with this album. Grant's lyrics are often just ridiculous and out of synch with his delivery. The song "Sigourney Weaver" has a line that goes, "I feel like Winona Rider in that one movie about vampires. She never got the accent right and neither did that one guy." And the song "Chicken Bones" is just utterly ridiculous. On top of that, several bits of music are directly bitten from other artists. "Where Dreams Go To Die" hinges on the musical hook from "Across The Universe" by The Beatles and it just goes downhill from there. Which is a shame because it's a good listen ... until you start to really listen.
Frank Sinatra
5/5
Man, this album is just classic. I miss the days when 3-minute songs were the norm. Hit 'em hard and leave 'em wanting more seems to be the Sinatra formula and damn if it doesn't work. Just super enjoyable.
Burning Spear
4/5
Solid reggae album. Excellent example of the genre, well-produced, and generally quite interesting. It does go on a bit, though. At some point, all the songs start to blur together into a low-tempo, dubby, backbeat hash. Not in a bad way, necessarily... it just gets a bit old by the end.
Nina Simone
5/5
Absolutely wonderful album. A beautiful but authentic mix of genres that just feel good. Nina's songwriting is both challenging and comforting and she has the voice of an angel. Really surprised and pleased with this one.
Bauhaus
2/5
I'm not a fan of Bauhaus the art movement, Bauhaus the band, or even Bauhaus the font. It's all too tryhard. This album is no exception. It's trying so hard to be dark and gritty but without committing to the bit. Ultimately, this is just bland British take on a boring German art movement. The end result sounds like someone dropped their doomcookie in the schoolyard sandbox. And just like that sand-covered cookie, it's unpalatable.
The Beach Boys
5/5
I studied this album as part of my college degree, it's that big of a deal. Even so, I wasn't prepared to give it a 5 start review. But, as I listened, I realized that this really is a milestone album in the history of recording. So many of these songs are OBJECTIVELY great songwriting and (despite Brian Wilson's penchant for lazy fade-out endings) the production really is astounding. Wilson truly was a mad genius and his capacity for brilliance is on full display here.
ZZ Top
5/5
What a great album. It's nothing but jam after jam that manage to just barely avoid being cheesy and, instead, come off as truly iconic. Just a really fun album.
Beyoncé
2/5
Look, I'll be the first to admit this isn't my scene, ok? But this ... thing ... is so unrelentingly synthetic and repetitive that it hurts my soul. I get the motivation behind it which is why it doesn't get a fully failing score. Bey wanted to git duurty. Sure. Maybe hire some studio musicians next time instead of just a stack of producers, though. Because, despite the vocal and lyrical talent, it's just frikkin' boring.
Elastica
5/5
I saw "britpop" on the wiki and groaned. Not another britpop album! But whoever wrote that genre classification was either an idiot or a sexist who believed that, if it has a female singer, it's pop. Because this isn't pop. This is post-punk rock. And barely post-punk at that. It was tasty as hell and I loved every single track. Will be listening to this again on the regular.
Leonard Cohen
3/5
Cohen's strenth was always in his songwriting, not his performance and this album is far from his best performance. Even when this was released in '88, the instrumentation and arrangements were outdated and cheesy. About two-thirds of the songs on the album are really well written, even so (as you would expect from a Cohen record). The other third, however, are ... well, they're not Lenny's best work. (I'm looking at you, "Jazz Police") The duds are bad enough to tank this down to a middling grade.
Kraftwerk
4/5
This was not what I was expecting given Kraftwerk's later work. It's ... symphonic. Sure, it's repetitive but it's also layered, textured, and nuanced. Sure, it's electronic but in a way that somehow feels natural and not overly synthetic and robotic. Autobahn (the title track) in particular, truly feels like driving on an interstate highway at night. They nailed it. I'm impressed.
Buzzcocks
5/5
What a beast of a punk album. Full of joyful energy, aggressive attitude, biting intelligence, and succinct social commentary, this is everything you want your punk music to be. One of the best. Nothing to hate, everything to love.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
4/5
The thing with YYYs is that the lyrics bounce back and forth between inspired and insipid with little to no warning. That said, this album is really quite good and just gets better as the album went out. The back half of the album is straight fire. This only misses a 5-star review because of a few, pretty goofy tracks at the beginning.
Kendrick Lamar
3/5
Meh. Listen, I usually love experimental hiphop. It's generally smarter, more musical, and more pointed than your standard, run-of-the-mill gangsta rap. Every time I was like "oh, that was clever," the lyric came from a guest artist. Even the social commentary on this album was softer and less pointed than I was led to believe. I came with high expectations and I left disappointed.
Metallica
5/5
Well, it's a classic for a reason. It's mostly fire from top to bottom. I have a few issues with the mixing (why is the kick scooped out like a used melon rind?) but not enough to take the score down from full marks.
The Gun Club
5/5
Man, what a great album. Everything you love about Iggy, Violent Femmes, and all of the great american punk/post-punk bands is on display here. It's clever, fresh, different and, at the same time, oh-so familiar. Loved everything about it.
The Who
2/5
This album is an utter, rotten mess. There is one hit and the rest is stream-of-conciousness rot. There's no structure to most of the songs and the story they tell is utterly reprehensible and pointless. The ONLY reason this is getting 2 stars is because "Pinball Wizard" is still pretty good, though I don't like it as much as I did before I had this album as context. What a waste of time.
The Beach Boys
2/5
Honestly, this is really not their best album. It's full of the oooeeeooo, falsetto, saccharine-sweet fluff tracks that they became popular for but has none of the brilliant deep cuts that made them legends.
Primal Scream
2/5
I don't know anything about this band but I know I a synch album when I hear one. Every track a vibe, never an anthem? No bangers just moods? This album was made to be background music. Well, it manages to be exactly that, unfortunately.
Jimmy Smith
4/5
I expected to hate this album (I'm not a big jazz fan) but I ended up loving it. The grooves are tight, the musicianship is superb, and the performances are top-notch. The only reason that this didn't get full marks is because a couple of the tracks do drag on a bit. At 45 minutes long and only 5 tracks, this is somewhat inevitable. The really remarkable thing is that most of the tracks DON'T feel like they're too long.
Adam & The Ants
3/5
Meh. Nothing standout at all here except for a few, very stupid lyrics.
Willie Nelson
4/5
I'm a sucker for a good cover album and this is a very good cover album. I also love the story behind this. Record label was like, "You can't cover these songs! You're the king of outlaw country!" And then Willie is like, "Screw you, I'm Willie Nelson. Here's a bunch of covers. Deal." Album goes quintuple platinum. Moral of the story? Willie does what Willie wants.
TV On The Radio
4/5
This was a really good album. It's well written, clever, emotional, and fun. It's the kind of album that, had I been in a different mood, would probably have gotten a 5 star review from me. Objectively, it's a little too easy to ignore but it's easily a 4-star album.
Missy Elliott
4/5
There's nothing in the world that sounds like a Missy joint. When Missy's on her game, she's unstoppable. Unfortunately, there are a few tracks here that DON'T feel like Missy joints (I'm looking at you "Pussycat", "Nothing Out There for Me", and "Play That Beat") hence the 4-star review. But the rest of the album is just so good, she almost pulled a 5-star anyway. These beautiful, throwback traps feel so good with her effortlessly confident flow draped over top. Legendary talent.
The The
2/5
It's kinda not good, right? Like... almost good... but then not. The The has managed to fill up an entire album with the kind of pseudo-intellectual, half-aware, social semi-conscious lyrics that make so much of 80s music super cringey. It's not good, fellas. It's just not good.
Bad Brains
2/5
I generally cut punk albums a lot of slack. Pretty music isn't the point, right? But, dang. This album is a royal mess. It makes no sense, the production is trash, the songs are poorly written and poorly performed ... it's just not good. It's not good punk, it's not good hardcore, it's not good rock. It's just not very good.
Tina Turner
1/5
Okay, Aunty Entity. Aunty Entity, okay. This record is painfully 80s. It's so 80s, it goes to work with a Lisa Frank trapper keeper tucked under its arm. It's a plastic imitation of real music with a rough coat of paint slapped over top to give it the impression of edginess. Not good.
Ray Charles
4/5
Ray Charles is just a delight. It's a bit big-band over the top for me as an album but the songs are great and man can Ray sing. Pretty fun album top to bottom.
The Isley Brothers
3/5
The problem with early funk is that it's still close enough to its roots that it has the stank of disco on it. The bits of this that were funky were really funky. But there were so many bits that were cheesy, gross disco to keep it from being a good album. Not enough to tank it completely, though. The funk keeps it afloat. But only barely.
The Monkees
2/5
"Headquarters" is a mismatched mishmash of mediocrity that is merely a meagre mimicry (one might even say maliciously so) of "modern" music. It leaves the listener feeling mocked, miserable, and more than a mite mad with the meretricious marketing machine that is the Monkees.
Kelela
2/5
Every track sounds exactly like the track before it. It's not bad, exactly. It's just like ... I already heard that. I don't need to hear it again, thank you.
Lynyrd Skynyrd
5/5
I mean, "Tuesday's Gone," "Gimme Three Steps," "Simple Man," and "Free Bird" all on the same album. How you gonna argue with that? I almost gave this a 4 but I couldn't actually come up with anything wrong with the album especially given the release date. I sometimes find myself a bit put off by Van Zant's penchant for socio-political posturing but, for 1973, several of these songs are super pointed and progressive. That's worth a star.
The Velvet Underground
4/5
I really enjoyed this one. The songwriting is intriguingly subtle (especially for The Velvet Underground), the performances have an enchanting energy, and the production is appropriately raw. "What Goes On," "Pale Blue Eyes," and "Beginning to See the Light" are absolutely fantastic examples of alternative songwriting. It's a power album for The Velvets where they flex and show their depth. My guess is that most detractors get stuck at "Murder Mystery" which is admittedly extremely avant garde. But it's not enough to tank the whole album and, if you take the time to dig into what's being said, it's actually a really great piece of poetry about existential identity confusion brought on by an onslaught of popular culture. It's often considered to be a great example of the power of modern poetry.
Gillian Welch
2/5
2 of 5 (10/5/21)
When people ask me what it was like to be part of the Nashville music scene, they're hoping to hear about a vibrant, exciting community creating innovative and unique new musical offerings for the world to hear. "What's it like to see a songwriter set at the legendary Blue Bird Cafe?" they ask, wide eyed and eager. Well, 90% of it sounds exactly like this. Generic, country-adjacent, sad-sack, wanna-be-crooner, singer-songwriter noise. Boring and samey. God forbid you be an actually exceptional female singer-songwriter in Nashville. It's nearly impossible to rise above the noise of all of the girl-and-guitar acts glutting the stages, bars, and coffee houses of Nashville, TN.
The main reason this didn't get a 1-star review is because the track "I Want to Sing That Rock and Roll" is excellent and completely different from the rest of the album. And no wonder. It's recorded live at The Ryman and produced by T-Bone Burnett who's exceptionally good at what he does. If the whole album had followed the lead of this one track, this review would have been significantly different. Sadly, for everyone who has to listen to this album, it doesn't and this track stands alone, an island in a sea of mediocrity.
Sepultura
5/5
Even though I'm on record as a fan of metal, I've often skipped Sepultura because they just always seemed so try-hard. They seem to work so hard to come across extra shocking and creepy. But this, friends, is why you shouldn't judge an album by its cover.
This record is straight up fire. It lives in that liminal zone between thrash and death metal that lends itself to really tasty grooves which practically spark with high-voltage current. It's super energetic without being frantic or chaotic, controlled without being robotic, and switches from face-melting guitar licks to heavy, pounding groves without missing a beat or losing an ounce of power. It's a damn good example of the genre.
Steely Dan
2/5
Look, I'm willing to admit the possibility that I'm listening to this album from too modern of a perspective. But it's not good is it? The songwriting is bland, the arrangements are mediocre, and the performances are lackluster. The ONLY reason this album is saved from a one-star review is that the engineering and production are out-of-this-world good. I don't know when the last time was that I heard such crispy drums and such a perfectly balanced stereo mix. This production is so good. It's just a shame it's wasted on such a turd of an album.
Ramones
5/5
The greatest punk album by the greatest punk band. Ever. Full stop. Each track overflows with the sheer, joyful, nihilistic abandon that makes punk so great. Haters gonna hate ... but they're wrong. This is peak punk perfection. Full stop.
The Rolling Stones
4/5
"Beggar's Banquet" is a bit of a roller coaster of an album. It's blues, it's rock, it's got some country-ajacent moments ... it's kinda all over the place but everywhere it goes is good. It's a raw sound in all the best ways. This is where The Stones came back to their roots, tried a bunch of stuff out, and decided who they wanted to be musically and culturally. These songs are objectively great. The recording, however ... well, there are some significant issues with the production which pulled it back a star for me.
Lana Del Rey
4/5
This was a hard album to rate. Each song–on its own–was quite good. But Lana seems to be a bit of a one-trick pony and her sleepy croon is delightful only in small doses. Every song sounds so very similar to the last that the album quickly starts to blur into a long, underwater sleepwalking session. There are moments when her voice echoes the effortless charm of Billie Eilish but she never manages to summon the emotional intensity that makes Eilish so compelling. Lana seems to be content to sit back and take the easy route. Consequently, she never quite hits the greatness that seems to lurk in the wings, just behind the curtain of her sleepy vocals.
Eminem
3/5
Honestly, this didn't age as well as I thought it would. I know that, when it came out, it was somewhat groundbreaking and I appreciate the injection of comedic and lighthearted storytelling elements into a genre that, at the time, was preoccupied with being "hard" above all. But it's just not that great 20+ years later. There are still good moments and solid hooks in here and "My Name Is" is still a fun joint. But it's not enough to pull it above a middling 3-star score.
Flamin' Groovies
5/5
For a band I've never heard of, this album was freaking great. It's everything I love about The Rolling Stones with a healthy dose of Violent Femmes sprinkled on top. This came out the same year as "Sticky Fingers" even. Apparently, after listening to "Teenage Head" Mick Jagger was like, "Oh yeah. That's what we were trying to do with 'Sticky Fingers' but they did it better." And he's not wrong. Put the two albums up against each other and "Teenage Head" just might come out on top. Absolute monster of an album.
5/5
This is the album that made Oasis a household name. And for good reason. It's an undeniable powerhouse of a record. There's not a bad track on here. Anyway, here's "Wonderwall."
System Of A Down
5/5
Somehow, I'd managed to forget how much of an adrenaline-fueled, psychotic, circus side-show this album is. If you don't know (or remember, in my case) what you're getting into, hitting play feels like being physically assaulted for asking a coworker how their weekend went. But, if you can hang in, by the time "Sugar" rolls around, you've caught the fever and are happily riding the insane-train like the good little distopic droog you always knew you could be. It's just such a mad, manic ride from start to end. Impossible to get off, you just have to hold on and smile at the approaching and inevitable carnage of a head-to-head train wreck.
All that to say, I quite enjoyed it.
Soul II Soul
1/5
"Club Classics Vol. 1" is the Fruity Pebbles of music. It's technically breakfast but is utterly devoid of nutritional value. It's just bright colors and empty calories. Soul II Soul managed to put out an album that's technically music but utterly devoid of musical value. It's just bright colors and empty lyrics.
The Adverts
5/5
"Crossing the Red Sea With the Adverts" is an utterly perfect example of peak UK punk. There's not a bad track on the album. Everything you love about punk is on display PLUS great vocal performances and a higher production value than is usual for the genre and time. What a great album.
Missy Elliott
2/5
This is Missy's first album and it feels like a freshman attempt. It's a bit jumbled and weak, missing that weird snap that makes a Missy joint so recognizable. It's far more generic R&B than hip-hop but the unique spark that makes Missy the queen is there, just barely visible, buried in the sand. I'm glad she dug it out for further albums. Sadly, there's not enough here to save this first one.
Ella Fitzgerald
5/5
One of the greatest voices of the 20th century singing songs by one of the greatest songwriters of the 20th century. There's really nothing to dislike here. Not a damn thing.
Thelonious Monk
2/5
Mr. Monk is surely an accomplished player but 45 minutes of winding, seemingly groove-phobic, saxophone solo is trying at best. I shouldn't have to work this hard to enjoy listening to a record.
Run-D.M.C.
5/5
Legendary. This is the album that started it all. When DMC broke big with this album, they threw the doors wide open for hip hop to step onto the main stage of American (and world) music. If, to the modern listener, it seems a bit hokey in delivery, it's worth remembering that this was a genre in its extreme nascency and it was still trying to figure out what it was supposed to sound like. So it borrowed from rock, techno, and R&B and then added that unique NYC hiphop flavor. The end result is a groundbreaking work stuffed full of powerful messaging, clever lyrics, and unapologetically fun beats.
Jimi Hendrix
5/5
An absolutely legendary experience from the moment you punch play and get hit with that iconic opening riff of "Purple Haze" all the way to the closing solo of "Red House." There are few albums as stuffed with hits as "Are You Experienced" is. Every track is perfect, every lick is tasty, every song leaves you wanting more. What a beast of an album. What a legend of a musician.
Cream
5/5
Even in a release year crowded with banger albums (Jimi Hendrix, "Are You Experienced" and Beatles, "Magical Mystery Tour" among them), Cream's "Disraeli Gears" stands out among the very best of the year or even the decade. It's got everything you want form a 60s rock album (self-aware lyrics, social commentary, a bit of psychedelic juju, driving rhythms, the works) but with that extra dose of face-melting blues guitar from the the one and only Eric Clapton. The man's a guitar legend for a reason. Clapton's guitars, Baker's rhythms, and Jack Bruce's vocal performances combine to push out such a great vibe I can't help but love every minute of it.
The Notorious B.I.G.
3/5
This three-star review hurts to give. Biggie's skills are literally the stuff of legend but, man ... the album just didn't age well. The lyrical content is a one-note gong that he just keeps banging over and over and over. The majority of the album can be summed up in the phrase "I'm gonna shoot you." There's very little that strays from that central theme. And that ... well, that gets old after a while, doesn't it? Even if the delivery is fantastic. And then there are the skits. Pure cheese. The skits alone dragged the score down a whole star. Overall, a disappointing re-listen from one of the greatest rappers of all time.
Public Enemy
5/5
The first thing that hits you in the face is that these beats are peak early hiphop. They are just so damn tasty. Then you start listening to the lyrics and are forced to confront the depth of the social commentary on display here. Chuck D and Flavor Flav are on the very top of their significant game with this album. It's intense. It's rowdy. It's aware. It's brash. It's fun. But it's also surprisingly balanced in the way that it approaches racial issues while staying angry that there are still issues. I get that, Public Enemy. I feel that anger and hope still, 32 years later.
Can
2/5
There was a point, while listening to this album, that I was prepared to give it a five-star rating. I thought to myself, "Dang! An experimental album that manages to blend genres effectively while never losing the plot or falling out of the pocket! These grooves are so great!" And then it all fell apart in dramatic fashion. Track five brought an eighteen-minute collection of disconnected noises punctuated by random moaning and lost the album a star. Track six continued the downward trend with eleven minutes of tangled strings and a violently bi-polar time signature. There goes another star. Track seven, the last track, managed to pull a grove out of its back pocket to save the album from truly failing marks. Overall, an interesting but extraordinarily frustrating album.
Tom Waits
2/5
I do not understand the appeal of Tom Waits in general or this album in particular. Every track is essentially the same. Tom says, "Weeell. Mumble mumble grumble mumble, vague rhyme, mumble mumble, vague rhyme, grumble mumble. Yeah." And then the crowd applauds his pretentious, pseudo-intellectual bullshit.
The real star of the show isn't Tom. It's the bass player who's working his fingers off trying to carry the whole album on his back. Jim Hughart is a beast of a player. He's the only person doing any significant amount of work and is the only reason this album got two stars from me.
I almost gave the album an indifferent three stars but then Tom had a nice long monologue about masturbation and, well, he sort of lost me there. I spent the rest of the album just waiting for the damn thing to be over.
Tracy Chapman
5/5
Tracy Chapman as a singer and performer is a delight. Tracy Chapman as a songwriter is a damn national treasure. The fullness of the human condition can be found in this one album and it's heart-achingly beautiful. The world is better for having these songs of love, loss, despair, and hope in it.
The Kinks
3/5
You could be forgiven for forgetting that you're not listening to The Beatles or The Rolling Stones or any of a half-dozen britrock bands. There are some bands that are just pillars of a time and place. The Kinks seem to just bounce around in the in-between spaces that aren't occupied by the greats. They don't offer anything really new or unique to the britrock scene. They're just sort of filler. Not that the album is bad. It's not bad by any measure. There's a lot of good stuff on here. There just aren't any tracks that stand out. In every case, someone else did it better.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
2/5
Neil Young is easily the most overrated artist on this whole list. He's an awful singer, a boring musician, and a mediocre songwriter at best. This is some of the most vanilla, cardboard cutout, middle-of-the-road music I've ever heard. It was on track to get a bland 3 stars from me but somewhere around the middle of the album, someone started committing warcrimes with what I think was a fiddle. Hard to tell. All I know is that the atonal screeching most certainly violated the Geneva convention and should have landed Mr. young in jail for crimes against humanity. Two stars is generous.
Billy Joel
5/5
I almost knocked a star off because of the saxophone solo but I couldn't do it. The storytelling on display here is top-notch. Joel's performances are flawless and his songwriting is compelling. Just a really great album stacked with songs that are full of all the feels.
Tori Amos
1/5
I feel like I should like Amos (or at least appreciate her) but .. I mean, it's just a really annoying album. Amos comes off as a cut-rate Morrisette and every track grates on the ear. The album is entirely populated with noisy, cardboard songs sung with more energy than skill and oddly lacking in anything approaching passion. I never get the impression that she actually cares about anything she's singing about. And the constant, often atonal warbling and wailing quickly gets legitimately painful. It's fingernails-on-a-chalkboard levels of cringe.
Maxwell
2/5
This album is so "smooth" it slid in one ear and back out the other, leaving no impression behind other than a slightly slimy film to mark its passage.
Röyksopp
4/5
This is a surprisingly good electronic album. I know it's basic to compare electronic bands to Moby but this album really reminds me of peak Moby. It's got a great down-tempo vibe, killer trip-hop groves, the vocals are sparse and textural, and the whole thing just oozes sophistication. You can tell these guys care deeply about making sure that everything is perfect and balanced. The attention to detail is astounding. This album is a whole feeling and I'm here for it.
The Flaming Lips
3/5
You know, it's not a bad album. But it does tend towards the "weird for the sake of being weird" side of quirky. Songs about robots will never not be cheesy and this album leans into the cheddar. But, for all that, the musicality is solid, the performances are fun, and the production is great. It's just ... well, it's just really goofy.
Talvin Singh
1/5
OK, Talvin. Talvin, OK. I legitimately don't understand what the hell I just listened to. But it wasn't enjoyable, I know that. Nope. Not at all. Sorry, Talvin. That's a no for me, dawg.
Bad Company
3/5
I mean, it sounds like what it is: a rock album from the 70s. It's kind of a slow chug through chunky riffs with rough vocals over top. If that's what you came for, you'll be happy with what you get. Otherwise, it's just kinda meh.
Led Zeppelin
4/5
Man, the hits here are absolute bangers. But the tracks that aren't hits are major misses. Miles off the mark. It's insane to me that the same album that contains "Black Dog," "When the Levee Breaks," and "Stairway to Heaven" also contains "The Battle of Evermore" and "Four Sticks" which are ... well, there's a reason you probably haven't heard them. They're not bad enough to tank the album but they do pull the rating down a star.
Gang Of Four
5/5
I mean, it's great. If you're into punk, this is going to work for you. It's everything you love about punk - all the energy and the sheer, nihilistic joy - but with the added spice of funky beats, great production, and skillful arrangements. I just loved it.
The Cure
4/5
I mean, it's The Cure so it's WAY too dramatic for its own good. That said, this is a remarkably solid album for a) 1989 and b) The Cure. "Lovesong" and "Fascination Street" have both been covered so many times I'd forgotten that the original recordings are as good as they are. And they really are quite good. Overall, pleasantly surprised by how well this album has stood up over time.
John Lennon
3/5
This album taught me an interesting lesson. Namely, that Lennon really needed the rest of the Beatles to avoid being a bullshit artist. I think it's because he was pretty much a trash human being and, without the balancing influence of his bandmates, all of his egotism, hypocrisy, and pretension didn't get filtered out. Instead, he spent the whole album spotlighting his worst traits to the detriment of his (few) positive traits. To say it's distasteful is an understatement. Giving this one a very generous 3 stars...
Muddy Waters
5/5
Absolute beast of an album. Quintessential, essential, cornerstone work from one of the most important artists in American music. The man is a legend and this album is legendary.
Siouxsie And The Banshees
4/5
Pretty great album, honestly. I'm here for the riot grrl thing and Souxie delivers that in spades. It's fun, witty, and well put together.
The Jesus And Mary Chain
3/5
My first thought, when listening to this album, was that it was a pretty decent, run-of-the-mill rock album for the mid '90s. That I looked and saw that it was released in '87. Turns out, it's actually a pretty decent rock album that was ahead of it's time. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Solid 3 stars.
The Strokes
4/5
It's a really solid freshman album. The songs are put together well, the production is admirably transparent, and the performances are energetic and skillful. There's nothing to dislike here.
Ananda Shankar
2/5
Somewhere in the secret vaults deep beneath the Vatican where they lock away the secrets deemed too dangerous for the world, there is a book titled "Things That Could End the World as We Know It Probably." This book contains lists of potentially apocalypse-causing items and scenarios. It's quite a large book. All of the items are grouped into sections by type such as “Thermonuclear Missteps,” “Plagues, Diseases, Germs, and Cooties,” and “Musical Indiscretions.” The latter category is surprisingly lengthy, though not as lengthy as the category simply titled, somewhat ominously, “Birds.”
Nearing the top of the list of dangers in the “Musical Indiscretions” category is “Sitar Covers of Rolling Stones Songs.” How the album “Ananda Shankar” by Ananda Shankar made it past the Illuminati’s shadow censors is anybody’s guess given the fact that it begins with a sitar cover of “Jumpin’ Jack Flash.” Equally mystifying is the fact that the world is still mostly un-ended. Experts speculate that the only reason that the album didn’t summarily destroy the world is that the first track is balanced by an equally destructive sitar cover of “Light My Fire” by The Doors and, somehow, the two evils have managed to cancel each other out. This is, of course, purely speculative as nobody would be so reckless as to test the theory in a lab. Not even on a small scale. The risk is simply too great. For now, we must simply be grateful that, somehow, Ananda Shankar did not, intentionally or unintentionally, destroy the world as we know it. Probably.
Anthrax
3/5
Well, that was a fun little trip down memory lane but not a trip I care to make again. Anthrax was genre-defining in their day, for sure. But there are just so many better metal/hardcore bands out there now. With the perspective that comes with the 34 years between now and when this album came out, it's clear that the vocals are amateurish and the songwriting is ... really shallow. It's pretty lame, honestly. But the musicianship is excellent and the performances are on point. Anyway, it didn't suck overall but it wasn't as awesome as I remember it being.
Happy Mondays
2/5
Sounds like what it is: mediocre, drug-addled, pop rock. Pretty boring, honestly. Ecstasy is not a good drug for making music, apparently.
Frank Zappa
2/5
This album started out SO GOOD. Then (apparently) the drugs kicked in, the saxophone came out, and everything started falling apart until, by the end, the tracks were reduced to atonal, tempo-agnostic, guitar "solos" and random horn bleating. I tried so hard to give it the benefit of the doubt (after the mandatory 1-star subtraction for saxophone solos) but it just never recovered itself. By the time the last track wrapped I was legitimately angry at Zappa for putting this nonsense out into the universe.
Pet Shop Boys
1/5
Boy, that really didn't age well, did it? Gross.
Bee Gees
2/5
Well, I don't know what I was expecting but it sure wasn't a store-brand Beatles album. If it weren't for Gibb's ridiculous vibrato and the blatant rip-off nature of the album, it'd almost be good. But it's not.
The Fall
2/5
While the album has some decent post-punk bones, it's ruined by some really terrible early-90s electronic trash. At times I was able to look past that and enjoy the very Stooges-esque spoken-word vocals but it was always wrecked by the bloopy-blippy, synthetic trash that covers the whole album like bubblegum-flavored syrup on pancakes. Nobody wants that. Stop it.
Leonard Cohen
2/5
Another Cohen album, another review that says pretty much the same thing. Namely that, while Cohen was a world-class songwriter, his songs are best when someone else performs them. He really can't sing and the guitar playing on this album is pretty dismal as well. At first listen, there's nothing to really recommend the album... until you really listen to the lyrics. Because those are brilliant. Shame Cohen can't perform worth a damn.
Lou Reed
2/5
I expected to like this as I'm generally a fan of the Lou Reed-fronted Velvet Underground. But I didn't. Reed's performances here are utterly boring and uninspired, the lyrics are extremely repetitive, and there's a saxophone solo (automatic one-star deduction). And then a tuba solo (there goes another star). And then there are jazz flutes... it's just an unredeemable mess, to be honest. Which is a shame because I had such high hopes.
Pearl Jam
4/5
So. Many. Bangers. This album took me back to middle school so hard I broke out in pimples during the opening chords of "Even Flow." There are a few tracks that didn't age all that awesome but, overall, it's a freaking killer album.
Frank Sinatra
3/5
I know he's supposed to be the King of Croon and the Sultan of Smooth but, to me, Sinatra always comes across as a sleazy egomaniac. That's what's on display here. The album gets three stars from me not because of Sinatra but in spite of him. Jobin is an amazing musician forced to play second fiddle to Sinatra's ego and it's a shame. I could have used ten times more Jobin and way less of ol' Frankie Blue Eyes.
Belle & Sebastian
2/5
I went into this album expecting to hate it. Turns out, I was right. It's a hateful album. How something can be so insanely pretentious and mind-numbingly boring at the same time is beyond me. What a waste of an hour.
Bonnie Raitt
2/5
I was expecting a country album or at least a blues album. What I got was a cheesy soft rock album instead. Whatever the genre, this was a boring, cheesy, greasy, over-produced lump of an album with no consistent through-line and no sense of itself or where it belonged.
Dolly Parton
3/5
Dolly is an undeniable force of nature. She has aged with grace and poise and power. In some ways, that makes this 3-star review hard to give. But it's possible to utterly adore a person for who they are, deeply respect their accomplishments, and still not be a fan of their work. Unfortunately, that's where I am with this album. Dolly, I love ya, but this album is fairly pedestrian, steel-guitar-soaked, hillbilly country. Except for "Here I Am" - that song is amazing. On the second to last track, Dolly finally slips the lead and lets loose with the full force of her voice and the result is fantastic.
Led Zeppelin
4/5
I don't know if I've ever heard an album that's all bangers and no hits before this one. I loved every track but none of them were legit hits. The album was soaked in that sick vibe that you know and love from Zepp but not a single track had any of the monster hooks that you associate with the band. Still a super enjoyable listen, though.
Dinosaur Jr.
3/5
I was in a band on e with some guys who were really into D.Jr. and that band suffered from the same issues as D.Jr. does which is that, while the musicality and technical skill are quite impressive, the overall effect is less than enjoyable. In fact, after a few tracks, I found myself just exhausted from following along. There's too much going on, too many time changes and mismatched parts. Again, it's really impressive from a musical standpoint once you stop and pay attention but that same action will leave you just worn out. It's just not an very enjoyable experience.
Yes
3/5
While the musicianship is clearly good, they just feel like a store brand Pink Floyd. It's Floyd-style prog without the hooks which leaves the album feeling kind of empty and, ultimately, forgettable.
Goldie
1/5
What the actual hell did I just listen to? Two hours of pointless, repetitive noise is what. The first track "Timeless" (a 25-minute drum loop) is clearly the title track. However, it should be the fourth track that gave the album its name: "This Is a Bad." What a trash album.
The Sonics
3/5
Eh. Kinda basic garage surf rock. Not bad but not all that exciting, either.
Supergrass
4/5
I had to go back and gave it a second run-through just to be sure but it turns out, this is a pretty good album. I started skeptical but, the more I listened to it the more I ended up really digging it. The songs are fun, the production is great, and the guitar tones are truly exceptional. I'm honestly shocked that this wasn't on my radar before now.
Dennis Wilson
4/5
You know that Wilson guy from the Beach Boys? No, not Brian, the eccentric genius. The other one. No, not Carl! Why would you even mention Carl?! Nobody ever talks about Carl! No, I mean one who was all mixed up with Charles Manson. Dennis, yeah.
Well, it turns out he was a damn fine songwriter. In fact, "Pacific Ocean Blue" is a great album. It has a little bit of that Beach Boys smell to it but it veers hard into funk/rock/blues territory, at times evoking Clapton, The Stones, George Clinton, and a half-dozen other artists who were cutting absolute classic tracks at the time.
It's really a great album. Too bad about that whole Manson thing.
Venom
2/5
Well, I mean... It's definitely more thrash than black metal but it was early days and they sorta invented the genre so I'll cut 'em some slack. What I won't cut any slack on is the lazy, cheesy, try-hard, doom-cookie, "ooh aren't we so scary" lyrics. I was digging some solid shredding until I listened to the lyrics. So stupid. So very lame and stupid. Shame, really.
David Bowie
4/5
I mean, it's Bowie. It's great. Is it his best? I don't think so. But it's Bowie. So it's great.
Aretha Franklin
5/5
This woman is a monster of a performer. There hasn't been another voice like hers since she left this earth. Raw power harnessed by perfect control combine to create unforgettable performances that leave you with no doubt as to her meaning, feelings, or desires. Perfection.
Elvis Costello
2/5
What an overrated, low-talent hack. Elvis Costello has hung his whole career on leveraging the misplaced, rose-tinted-glasses nostalgia of white middle class America. And they've eaten it up thinking that this plastic imitation is the real deal.
Stereolab
4/5
On first blush, this should have been a no for me, dawg. But it wasn't. Stereolab manages to take a genre known for repetitive noise and turn it into an interesting and enjoyable experience. Is it all amazing? No, it's not. There are definitely some bits that are a bit twee but not enough to tank the record. "Emperor Tomato Ketchup" (that's gotta be a translation error, right?) was a pleasant surprise.
Coldplay
5/5
They're no Beatles but Coldplay is still one of the best acts to ever come out of Ol' Blighty even if it does seem like poor Chris Martin is always desperately in need of a hug. Not all of the songs are bangers but that's not really the Coldplay vibe so I'm not bothered. Any of the non-hits would be cornerstone tracks for any other band. Their brilliance is just dimmed because they sit in the shadow of tracks like "Clocks" and "Amsterdam" which are monsters. It's a great album, no contest.
The Black Crowes
4/5
While the musicianship is undeniable, Robinson's voice wears me out after about song 3. Something about his constant, slightly off key, fake blues Man wailing just ... wears me out. That said, it's still a good record and a good representation of rock at the peak of its game in the '90s (including all of the dated production techniques of the time).
Lorde
5/5
I love when I get to hand out unexpected 5-star reviews. I didn't anticipate enjoying this album nearly as much as I ended up doing. The vocals are great, the production is top-notch, the composition is fantastic. The whole album is a great vibe. Even the lyrics, while being very "20-year-old-people's-problems" were clever and well-written for all that. I really enjoyed it. Listened through it twice.
Johnny Cash
5/5
I mean... dang. Old Cash beats the pants off of Young Cash any day. These songs, covers and all, are so hauntingly beautiful. You feel the weight of life lived, mistakes made, and perspective gained in Cash's performances. It's a damn near perfect album.
Beastie Boys
4/5
It hurts to give this 4 stars instead of 5 but I've got to be consistent and this thing is hella dated. Don't get me wrong, I love it. It's jam after jam and it's a hell of a lot of fun. But... well, "Girls" exists.
Merle Haggard
3/5
I expected to hate this record and ... I was not entirely wrong. This whole sad-sack, outlaw-country crooner schtick is exceptionally cheesy and comes off disingenuous. That said, I can't deny the musicianship and high production values. But I just hate the way Merle slides into every damn note like the last-chair trombone player in a middle school band. I mean, just hit the note, my man.
Spiritualized
3/5
I've heard this album referred to as either "excessive" or "lush" depending on whether or not the person liked the end product. I think the truth is that it's both in turns. The real issue with the album, however, is the lack of substance beyond the production. None of the songs have any significant lyrical or melodic hooks and, throughout most of the album, the songs themselves feel like an afterthought to the production. Like a fancy hamburger restaurant where the toppings are outrageous but the beef patty itself is just a flavorless, overcooked grey slab of meat.
Kraftwerk
3/5
I expected ... I don't know? More? I've previously reviewed their album, "Autobahn" and quite enjoyed it's layered symphony. This album, however, seemed... amateur. Kinda boring, really. Shame.
Supergrass
4/5
From the cover and the band name, I was kinda hoping for some sort of electric bluegrass situation. I was mildly disappointed, upon hitting play, to find out that Supergrass is just another britpop band.
After getting over my disappointment, I realized something else about this band: this is where Jack White got his sound. He legitimately lifted it wholesale from Supergrass. I had to check the wiki to be sure that this wasn't, in fact, an early Jack White project. The two are utterly indistinguishable. Jack White, you're a dirty thief and I didn't even know it.
As far as the album goes, it was fun but, like a Jack White joint, nothing super exceptional.
The Temptations
3/5
Man, the Temptations... What a wildly schizophrenic band. I feel like most of their albums have the same issue. You'll be grooving along to some truly quality funk and then, all of the sudden, it switches to track after track of doo-wop, Jackson 5 style R&B. Just stick with the monster funk, guys! It's so good when you're just funkin' it up.
Kate Bush
2/5
Kate Bush suffers from what I like to call "Björkism."
Björkism is a disease that causes vocalists to wander aimlessly; rarely, if ever, approaching anything resembling a melody, let alone a legitimate hook. In fact, vocalists who suffer from Björkism often seem downright phobic when it comes to hooks. Instead, they choose to warble endlessly and leave the listener exhausted from trying to follow along.
I call this syndrome Björkism, not because I believe that Kate Bush bit the style from the eponymous Björk, but because Björk is the ultimate example of this disease. Accordingly, "The Sensual World" by Kate Bush receives a slightly better score than your average Björk album because, as annoying as it is, at least it's not Björk.
The Rolling Stones
4/5
I think I get it now. I understand why The Stones were so big in their day. This album, while feeling very middle-of-the-road today, was stand-out-from-the crowd in '66.
Sure, there were other British acts reaching across the pond to make a splash in the US but they were either The Beatles or riding the coattails of The Beatles. The Stones took a different direction - real, old-school blues - and then went further by not pulling punches with the lyrical content. "Mother's Little Helper" and "Stupid Girl" while being almost painfully misogynistic, were certainly not playing around lyrically. I can see why this appealed to the disaffected youth of the time the same way that Sex Pistols, Ice T, or Tool did in later years.
Musically, the album is solid. Lyrically, it's solid if a bit dated. The performances, however, are stand out and pull the whole thing up from a middling grade to a solid 4 stars.
Fugees
4/5
Undeniably great and groundbreaking at the time. Even so, it does feel a bit dated and weak at points. The skits? So '90s hiphop and cringey. They're super cheesy but not enough to tank the album. Amazing performances all around. Haters gonna hate but Lauryn Hill is a singularly amazing talent and she absolutely shines on this album.
Beatles
4/5
It's so strange to hear so many covers on a Beatles album. That said, even the covers are exceptionally well done. It is The Beatles, after all.
They almost lost a star for covering "Please Mr. Postman" which just doesn't work from a boy band but they gained it back with a great cover of "Money" which was an unexpected joy.
The main reason this album gets a four-star review instead of a five-star review is because the listening experience is dominated by the songs that The Beatles covered rather than by the songs they wrote. And, from writing monsters like this - even this early in their career - that's a shame.
Bruce Springsteen
3/5
Maybe I just had low expectations for this album but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, the first several songs were pretty decent. Bruce "King Mumbles" Springsteen actually belted out the lyrics full-voice and fully enunciated! Miracles do happen! But then we hit "Downtown Train" and I couldn't understand a dang word. Why, when you CAN sing, would you choose to sound like you just got out of oral surgery? King Mumbles strikes again.
And can we also talk about the themes here? Pining for the "glory days" of your youth is such a pathetic, boomer thing. And yet, here it is, raised up on a pedestal for all to worship as some sort of American ideal. It's gross and lost the album another star.
3/5
"Wild Gift" is the musical equivalent of being woken in the middle of the night by two cats having sex outside your bedroom window. There's a lot of confusion and some truly horrible noise going on and you just want it to stop.
I generally give punk and punk-adjacent music a pass where vocals are concerned but, in no key are these vocals hitting actual harmonies. They're just wailing. Which is a shame because the lyrics are legitimately poetic and the backing music is pretty decent. The wailing, though. Dang.
5/5
This is one of the very best Bowie joints ever. It's a remarkably tight and smart album. Every track is enjoyable and engaging. Bowie as Ziggy is lightyears ahead of his time and this album stands up as a remarkable even 50 years later.
Taylor Swift
5/5
At this point, I think it's obvious that Taylor Swift is a beast of a songwriter and a powerhouse personality. She's shaped her career with sharp talent, unending energy, and sheer willpower.
This album seems, on the surface, to be full of the breakup/hookup songs that seem to stuff the albums of 20-something female artists. But, once you stop and listen to the lyrics, it quickly becomes apparent that her writing is head and shoulders above her peers. The song "happiness" in particular is utterly brilliant writing. "When did all our lessens start to look like weapons..." Damn. Line after line, the song is arresting in its depth.
Exceptionally impressive, emotionally aware, and surprisingly mature. I never thought I'd give a T. Swifty album five stars but here we are. Completely deserved.
Beastie Boys
4/5
It's definitely better than "License To Ill" so there's that. The beats aren't built, though. They're wholesale ripped off and, while that was a thing, it's still kinda crappy. The lyrics, while dated, are almost entirely better and more mature than their freshman effort, though. Not hard considering how young they were when "License to Ill" was released. Overall, it's a fun record and worth the time.
Randy Newman
4/5
I'm pretty sure it's a generational thing but every Randy Newman song sounds like a movie soundtrack to me. Thanks, Pixar. That said, there's definitely some ground covered here that's not going to find its way into a Disney flick.
As someone from the south, I think Newman does a masterful job of skewering the worst of what passes for "southern culture" while showing compassion and understanding for the rest. It feels very authentic to my experience growing up in the south and it's made all the more palatable wrapped in Newman's specific brand of upbeat style and expert delivery.
Dwight Yoakam
1/5
Well, that's just really crappy, isn't it? Egotistical, nihilistic, misogynist, sad-sack, crooner bullshit. This doesn't need to exist let alone be on anyone's "best-of" list.
Dr. Dre
3/5
It feels almost blasphemous to give this album only three stars. It was and is a cornerstone of west-coast hiphop.
But.
How much do you really need to talk about your dick? At some point, you gotta move on to a different subject or people are going to start thinking you're compensating for some shortcomings, you know?
Honestly, the album didn't age very well. Both Dre and Snoop are capable of more and, as time has moved on, they've proved it, leaving this album to stand by the road as a milestone but not a destination in its own right.
Songhoy Blues
5/5
Clearly inspired by the late, great Ali Farka Touré, Songhoy Blues brings the same unstoppable energy to their music that made Ali so influential. "Music in Exile" is powerful and moving in a way that modern American blues so often isn't. The electric tones of Muddy Waters and Albert King find whole new dimensions when they're shaped and guided by the unexpected rhythms and patterns of Malian music. It's a whole vibe and I couldn't be more here for it. I don't understand a word that's being said and I don't care. This is just so damn good.
John Lee Hooker
5/5
Legend. John Lee Hooker is a legend. And for good reason. Though the record is full of guest artists who all put their fingerprints on the songs, John Lee pulls everything back to a cohesive whole, grounding every track in his particular flavor of electric blues. "The Healer" is a canvas across which John Lee Hooker and his guests provide contrast to each other in a way that allows everyone to shine. It's an incredibly balanced record and an absolute pleasure to listen to.
The Doors
4/5
Honestly, that was a mostly okay Doors album. Nothing to hate and it's The Doors so there was a lot to like. Problem is, there wasn't much to LOVE. So it gets four stars instead of five.
Aretha Franklin
5/5
What a beast of an album from a legend of a talent. Aretha always demands my attention and this album won my heart. So good.
The Verve
4/5
I mean yeah, it's a solid album. "Bitter Sweet Symphony" in a monster of a hit to come out of the gate with and the album just kinda coasts on that momentum, never really gaining any additional oomph.
By the time the album crosses the finish line, you're left with the impression that you've just heard some decent rock music but with very little memory of any particular track besides the first.
Fiona Apple
3/5
I was always given the impression that people with external genitalia we're not equipped to "get" Fiona Apple. So I didn't really listen to anything she'd done until this album. I was pleasantly surprised by the first few tracks. Then I was pleasantly surprised by the next few tracks. Then... the whole thing fell apart. "Slow Like Honey" marked the beginning of the end. The album just drowned itself in self-indulgent, singer-songwtiter twaddle. Shame.
Radiohead
4/5
I had this friend who was just ... well, he was a good guy but he was pretentious AF. Just really into the "you couldn't possibly fathom this" side of art. He was also the biggest Radiohead fan I've ever met. Consequently, I've never had much interest in exploring Radiohead's catalogue.
But, if this project has taught me anything, it's to be open-minded so I approached this album with a clean slate. I'm glad I did. It was not nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. In fact, much of it was exceptional. Was it a bit up its own butt? Assuredly. But the production was stellar and the songs were fun for the most part. Great background music for a morning of "git 'er done."
Radiohead
3/5
Well, that's ... that's something. Definitely not as good as their later work. This one feels like a band still trying to figure out who the heck they are and what they should sound like. The result is an album that comes across rough and unfinished while still, somehow, being just SO pretentious.
Ghostface Killah
4/5
I really didn't expect much from this album. Maybe that's why I found myself enjoying it. Sure, the skits are super lame and a lot of the content is dated but it turns out that Ghostface Killa is a damn good writer. The delivery is on-point and these tracks are just so tasty. Color me surprised.
Suicide
2/5
Man, that first track was awesome. The second track was... Well, it was good too. Kinda experimental acid rock bust still good.
Then the whole thing went off the rails. Every track to the end of the record was worse than the one that proceeded it. Half-baked song ideas with repetitive sentence fragments thrown on top of them masquerading as "experimental" when, in fact, they were just banged out with no actual craftsmanship applied.
Two stars. One for each track that was actually half decent.
Fats Domino
4/5
Fats is the tits. He's excellent and these songs are utterly classic for a reason. That said, putting a compilation album on this list is 100% cheating. But I just I love New Orleans Jazz and delta blues, so I'm here for Fats.
The Specials
2/5
The thing with ska is that it tries to have all the energy of punk but with none of the self-reflection. What's left is sugar-coated but meaningless and empty.
The Specials exemplify this emptiness perfectly. Even the covers of once meaningful Jamaican songs are so dumbed down that they become meaningless, whitewashed noise. A lot of that comes down to Elvis Costello being an absolute hack. By all reports, The Specials were aggressive and angry on stage... until Hack Costello got his hands on them and produced an utterly milquetoast album.
Overall, it was a painfully lame listening experience and one that I don't wish to repeat any time soon.
Prince
4/5
As the opening strains of the album started creeping out of my speakers, my initial reaction was very negative. Those super dated synths are just so cringe. But the thing about Prince is that he's brilliant and, by the end of the record, I was just bopping along with him, enjoying the heck out it.
Princes music isn't timeless. I is, however, perfectly timely. Every album seems to be a perfect distillation of the cutting edge trends in music at that exact moment. And then Prince, being Prince, takes everything up several notches with his immaculate musicianship and consummate showmanship.
I'm shocked, but this is an effortless 4-star album after all.
Talking Heads
2/5
Man, that's just an utter mess of a record. It's a bunch of half-baked melodies over half-formed song ideas. The end result isn't even half-assed, it's a quarter-assed at best. What an annoying waste of time.
Kanye West
4/5
There is a startlingly stark difference between this freshman album and everything else Kanye has released. There is an energy and hunger here that's utterly lacking in everything else I've heard from him.
It's good. I mean, duh, right? This is the album that rocketed him to stardom, after all. But I'm surprised at just how good it is. The lyrics are great, subject matter is relevant, and the production is on point. There are several unexpected musical twists and turns that are just wonderful. Missing is the bloated ego and disingenuous subject matter of his later work. Instead, there's a bare honesty and energetic aggression to these songs. The word I keep coming back to is 'hungry." The Kanye we get to see on this album is hungry for recognition and it drives him to great heights.
The real question isn't, "How is this album so good?" The question is, "Why is nothing Kanye has put his hands to since this album even close to this good?"
Beatles
4/5
It's not their best by a long shot but it's still The Beatles, you know? The hits are there and they're amazing and the other tracks... well, it's still The Beatles. There's not a bad track on the album. But there are some fairly mediocre ones.
Bob Dylan
4/5
Dylan is one of those polarizing artists. People love him or hate him. I'm in the first camp. I think he was a genius of a writer who just wasn't blessed with that great of a voice.
This album showed that, I think. Great songs, deep metaphors, beautiful imagery. The only thing holding it back is poor Bob's vocals. It's not just that his voice isn't so great, it's the melody lines themselves. They're dumbed down and monotonous to match his abilities. Understandable, for sure. But also frustrating to listen to for a whole album.
But that is Dylan in a nutshell. Brilliant where he's brilliant. Not so much of a singer, though.
Portishead
3/5
I expected this to be pretentious. It was. I expected this to be insufferable. It ... was not.
While I'm most definitely not a fan of the gothy lounge-lizard vocals, the album has its moments of brilliance. There are tracks that are evocative of a film score and are enjoyable. The album on the whole, however, it just so very tryhard and the end result is less than satisfying.
Daft Punk
2/5
This isn't an album of songs. If you go into it expecting that, you're going to be disappointed. I sure was. The (very) few songs that incorporated something resembling a melody line simply took four bars of a hook and repeated it ad nauseam. See "Da Funk" for reference.
What it IS, though, is a masterclass on how to build a beat. These tracks are layered and complex and fine tuned to a precision edge. It is the ultimate loop record for DJs to create mashups with. I have a good buddy who was an acclaimed mashup artist (until he got sick of fielding cease & desist orders and takedown requests). He used the hell out of these beats to great affect. Unfortunately, the tracks don't stand on their own and a whole record of them is exhausting to listen to.
LCD Soundsystem
3/5
I mean... it's alright? There were a couple of fun tracks. A couple of stupid tracks (I'm looking at you, "how do you sleep?"). When it was all said and done, I realized that it really hadn't left much of an impression on me. And that just doesn't seem like something you generally want out of an album, does it?
The Replacements
4/5
You know, that wasn't bad at all. Kinda poppy, kinda punk, all-around enjoyable. Quite liked it.
Metallica
4/5
What a surprisingly fun album. A couple of monster hits followed by some really solid metal. It even manages to avoid most of the cheesiness of some of the OTHER early metal bands (I'm looking at you Megadeath). Nothing to hate here and a lot to love.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
5/5
"Green River" is just a classic. It came out in a year known for its music and it still manages to stand out from the crowd. It's one of those iconic albums that is firmly pinned to the time. It's an essential part of any soundtrack from '69 along with "Bayou Country" which came out the same year. With two absolute beast albums in the same year, it's no wonder CCR outsold The Beatles in '69. I was going to give this a 4 but I realized that I can't justify knocking off a star. There's just not a bad track on the album.
George Michael
1/5
Oof. This is peak 80s and not in a good way. Michael Jackson did it better. And he was way less sleezy. Which is saying something because Jackson? Eesh.
But ol' Georgie boy here takes the sleeze cake. The whole album is just so slimy. Every single track feels gross. And that's even if you leave out "I Want Your Sex" which ... what the actual hell. I'm pretty sure this album gave my ears an STD.
Super Furry Animals
2/5
It's... it's really boring, isn't it? SFA doesn't seem capable of committing to a bit. Consequently, the album slips and slides from one flavor of mediocrity to the next without leaving any lasting impression whatsoever. I can't give it a one-star review because there's not anything actively BAD about it other than it's just not good.
Arrested Development
4/5
This was such a refreshing throwback to the origins of hip-hop. The beats are peak boom-bap and so tasty. It has to be remembered that this album doesn't exist in a vacuum. The intentional step away from gangsta rap to talk about life, love, and loss is well executed - especially in context. It's a direct reproach of current trends in hip-hop at the time. It's an attempt to remind people that hip-hop was and can be a positive change platform.
It's a little crazy, when you think about it, that this gets categorized as "alternative hip-hop" when it feels so throwback. The primary reason, I think, is that it did end up inspiring a whole host of artists to embrace hip-hop and push it past its gangsta pigeonhole. To push the genre in an alternate direction. You can hear the origins of bands like The Roots, Nappy Roots, Outkast, Jurassic 5, Blackstar and more here. No disrespect for the supremely talented Mr. Glover but Childish Gambino wouldn't exist if it weren't for acts like Arrested Development stepping away from the easy dollars of gangsta rap to embrace elements of funk, jazz, and rock and create something different.
On top of ALL THAT, there are just some killer tracks on here. "People Everyday," "Mr. Wendal," and "Tennessee" are undeniable power jams and essential parts of the soundtrack of the early 90s. Haters gonna hate but this album slaps.
Wilco
4/5
I've never really been into WIlco so I wasn't looking forward to this one but I did my best to go into it with an open mind. It took a few tracks for me to get it but I'm glad I stuck it out. It's really not bad. Somewhere between Counting Crows and Tom Petty with a smidge of Nirvana tossed in. Overall, fairly enjoyable.
It's worth taking a moment to recognize the recording style and quality for this record. It FEELS like an indie record in part due to the space that's been given to all of the instrumentation in the mix. But both the initial recording quality and the overall mixing/mastering are absolutely top-notch. Compared to other recordings in the both the alt and country spaces at the time, many of whom were following the Phil Spector "Wall of Sound" ideals of filling up the entire spectrum with whatever they could, "Being There" embraces the open spaces in the EQ. This serves to make the album feel more intimate while leaving room for the big moments to feel even bigger. It's masterful engineering and deserves an extra star all on its own.
That said, 19 songs is too many. If this album had been distilled down into 10 to 12 killer tracks, it would hit so much harder. I'm into these short track lengths, though. I'd love to see more artists putting out 3-minute tracks. Keeps things fresh and avoids the repetitive chorus trap that so many songs fall into.
Wire
4/5
I love punk. I really do. "Pink Flag" is a great punk album. But. It's missing one of my favorite aspects of punk. The sheer, nihilistic joy of punk is missing here. The classic punk stance of "the world is screwed up and screw the world" seems to be missing. Instead, Wire has leaned hard into the angrier aspects of punk.
The overall theme is darker, angrier, and more raw than other punk albums of the time. This is often cited as a reason for calling this early post-punk or even pre-hardcore. And for all that, it's good. The sheer intensity of the minimally produced, almost raw sound is enticing in the same way that great hardcore is. It's compelling.
But I do so wish there were some lighter moments. I prefer my punk to be delivered with a knowing smirk, not a glowering scowl.
Jimi Hendrix
4/5
Jimi Hendrix on his worst day is still an unchallenged musical legend. That said, "Electric Ladyland" is not his best work. It's a bit of a disconnected mess. At times, the songs seem to lose track of their own melody and wander off into unplanned directions. Despite having some of Hendrix's biggest hits ("Voodoo Child" and "All Along the Watchtower") the overall impression is ... addled. Confused. Unfocused on the music. I suppose this is to be somewhat expected given Hendrix's mental state at the time but it's still a damn shame given his sheer, unbridled talent.
It hurts to give this album 4 stars. While "Electric Ladyland" lacks the intensity and fire of "Are You Experienced" it still delivers the goods and absolutely deserves its place on this list. But it's not Hendrix's best work by a long shot and, sadly, it's not quite 5-star material.
Miles Davis
2/5
Nope.
While I guess I can appreciate the technical ability on display here, it's not, on any level, an enjoyable listening experience. Both tracks (because there are only two) are repetitive, atonal, empty of melody, and utterly lacking in structure.
Saved from a one-star review because the musicianship is good. Too bad they didn't put those skills to better use.
The Mamas & The Papas
3/5
What a weird little pop-folk album. It's not good. It's not bad. It's mostly bland. The production is so overly inoffensive it's ALMOST offensive. The lyrics and music are actually so mismatched that they create a level of cognitive dissonance and the overall effect is very ... cultish. Like, these people are clearly in some sort of cult that's barely papered over with a weird, mid-century, Brady Bunch/Beach Boys veneer.
Kraftwerk
1/5
Why, dear God, WHY are there SO MANY KRAFTWERK ALBUMS on this list?!
"Trans Europe Express" is easily one of the most repetitive and boring albums I've ever had the displeasure of listening to. The whole album is an endless loop of arpeggiated synths over boring beats periodically broken up by repetitive vocals. The title track is essentially 6 and a half minutes of phase-filtered synthetic drums, people chanting "Trans-Europe Express" and an out-of-context mention of David Bowie.
It's mind-boggling to me that this is considered by anyone to be worthy of inclusion on the list. The listening experience was utterly angering.
Radiohead
3/5
I expected to hate this album. And there were times when I started to feel the hate flow through me. But, somehow, Radiohead managed to bring it back around before it got too bad.
Is it pretentious? Hell yes. SO very pretentious. Is it repetitive? ||: Yes. :|| Is it a noisy mess sometimes? Again, absolutely. But, for some reason, it's still not totally off-putting. In fact, a lot of the album is actually engaging and fun. So, while I didn't love it, I certainly didn't hate it. In fact, I'd go so far as to say it was pretty alright on balance.
Eurythmics
3/5
I'm so conflicted about this album. I absolutely hate eurotrash synthpop. Utterly despise it.
But.
The songwriting isn't half bad. Unlike most albums in the genre, these songs actually have something resembling a structure and I appreciate that. Not enough to give it more than two stars, mind you. It's still bloopy, blippy, zip-zap nonsense.
Jeff Beck
4/5
I'm kinda torn on this one. Not every song is a banger, for sure, but none of them are snoozers either. The one thing they all seem to have is a strong sense of groove and I'm here for that.
The cover of "Ol' Man River" is far from my favorite, though. Tympani were a poor instrumentation choice. There's also some really funky stereo panning going on that's just disconcerting. That cover alone almost earned this a 3-star rating. But, once you get past that (and the weirdly out of place "Greensleeves" instrumental), there's a bunch of really solid blues. Like, REALLY solid blues. Very tasty.
It's a 4-star for me. But it's a soft 4.
The Divine Comedy
2/5
The only reason this is classified as "chamber pop" is because nobody had coined the term "emo" yet. It's mostly a bunch of sad-sack, poor me, rain songs which just wears on me. The orchestral arrangements are good, though, and the production values are high. The vocals are a bit overly-dramatic but not offensively so.
The best thing that can be said about "A Short Album About Love" is that it's appropriately titled. All the songs are about love in some way or another and, with a runtime right at 32 minutes, it's blessedly short.
Sister Sledge
2/5
Disco is the worst. But the guys from Chic did a decent job writing an album for the ladies of Sister Sledge considering that they never even met them before writing it.
See that?! THAT sentence is part of the problem with disco. One artist was asked by their label to write an ENTIRE ALBUM for another artist that they'd never even met. That's bullshit and I hate it.
While the songs are alright (for disco), the whole idea of the album is enough to kill a star. Disco is the worst.
2Pac
5/5
Well. That was a surprise. Everyone knows 2Pac is a legend but I've personally never just sat down and listened to a whole album. I was utterly blown away by the lyricism, creativity, and delivery that he brought to the table.
But the real surprise was the depth of the content. I expected the same ol' shallow gangsta rhymes that you get from 2Pac's contemporaries in the genre. What I experienced, however, was incredibly self-aware social commentary. 2Pac comes off more like a really cool older brother dispensing heavy wisdom than a hard-ass, bragging gangster.
This album was just great. 2Pac really was one the greats. R.I.P.
Goldfrapp
4/5
British trip-hop is for sure not my genre but this Goldfrapp album wasn't too shabby. They clearly went into this project intending to produce something sweeping and cinematic and they nailed it. The vocals are, by and large, beautifully performed and the production values are top-notch. It really is a pretty good album.
The only reason this didn't get a 5-star review was that, like so many electronica albums, it got a little too deep into its own navel. Somewhere around the middle of the album, I got tired of the overly-dramatic presentation and started wondering when it would be over. It came back around but that feeling of "I'm over this" is enough to pull it down a star.
Mike Oldfield
1/5
"Tubular Bells" is an hour of pretentious, self-indulgent trash. But, most damning of all, it's boring. Prog absolutely isn't my genre but even I know it should be complex, edgy, and challenging. The few times "Tubular Bells" broke away from being vanilla, it was to do something cringey. And don't get me started on that last track. Utter trash. Why's that on the album? Buggered if I know.
Astrud Gilberto
1/5
So. Much. Jazz flute. HARD PASS.
Crowded House
3/5
Man, does this album ever sound exactly like it was recorded in '91. The vocals are right up in your face and everything is mixed so dry it feels like it will crumble to dust at a glance.
And, honestly, the songwriting DOES fall apart the minute you look into it. All the lyrics are locked in a specific date and time. A chorus about Tammy Baker right out of the gate? That doesn't make sense to anyone anymore. And there are too many words crammed into too few bars. Just too many words. It's just not a good aesthetic. Not a good aesthetic at all.
That said, there's not really anything specifically WRONG with any of these songs. There's just nothing right either. Hence the "meh" 3-star review.
OutKast
5/5
Certified. Legendary. Status.
It really doesn't get much better than this. It's innovative and creative and manages to alternate between fun and meaningful without giving the listener whiplash.
"Stankonia" Is a masterwork of the genre and deserves its place on Mt. Olympus in the pantheon of the greatest albums ever made.
Mercury Rev
2/5
Man, that's an album that feels dated. And not dated to 1998, when it came out, but dated to somewhere around the middle of the 60s. And not in a good way.
I was going to give it a "meh" 3-star review but there were multiple saxophone solos which lost it another star.
a-ha
3/5
I was prepared to hate this album. It's new wave and that one song that I already know is kinda annoying.
But I didn't hate the album. Sure, I hated some of the TRACKS on the album but not the album as a whole. That, in itself, is quite the achievement.
Congrats, A-ha, on being new wave and not entirely sucking. Here's a 3-star rating as a reward. Don't spend it all in one place.
The Triffids
2/5
If rock and roll was breakfast food, "Calenture" by The Triffids would be unsweetened oatmeal. Sure, it'll do the job but it's not going to be interesting and you're going to be thinking about bacon the whole time. I can't imagine anyone actually wanting to listen to this. But then, some people actually choose to eat plain oatmeal so I guess there's no accounting for taste.
MGMT
5/5
On paper, I shouldn't like MGMT. It's electronic indie-pop. But MGMT manage to avoid all of the pitfalls of their peers by creating compelling rhythms and melodies accompanied by fun and surprisingly coherent lyrics.
This whole album was just a jam. Each successive track built a mood that I found compelling. By the end, I was involuntarily tapping my feet and bobbing my head. It's a great album.
David Bowie
5/5
It's saying something about Bowie as an artist that, even starving and cracked out of his mind, he was able to produce an absolutely exceptional album. It runs the whole spectrum from blues to funk to experimental at an absolutely (and unsurprisingly) breakneck pace.
A less-talented musician in the same drug-addled state would have created something frantic and broken. Bowie, though he barely remembered even making the album, managed to craft coherent, compelling, beautiful, and haunting songs that stand up decades later. The man wasn't human. He had to have been something else.
The xx
4/5
I'm giving this one 4 stars... but I'm not entirely sure why. There's nothing exceptional here. There's also nothing objectionable. Normally, that'd earn it a middling 3 stars. But here we are at 4 stars anyway.
I think it's a combination of things. It's a short album, clocking in at just under 40 minutes which means that none of the 11 tracks linger too long. Instead, they say their piece, set a mood, and move on. That's a really nice aesthetic and I'm here for it.
By the end of the album, I found myself favorably inclined towards it as a whole, though none of the tracks left a strong impression. In fact, I found that I liked it best when I wasn't actively paying attention to it. That's when my head started bobbing and my toes started tapping.
So, yeah. 4 stars.
Donald Fagen
1/5
Synthetic sounds, plastic production, and wooden writing. Nobody needs this album. There's nothing remarkable to experience here.
Iron Maiden
3/5
I really expected to give this at least a solid 4. Unfortunately, it's just not quite there. There's nothing terribly wrong with the album. It's relatively fun and energetic even if all the tracks sort of run together.
The biggest issue is that there are no hits. They got a vibe but no bangers. Much like Led Zeppelin's first album, you can feel the shape of things to come. The seeds of "Number of the Beast" are here but, with this freshman album, they're just not quite there yet.
Michael Kiwanuka
5/5
This was completely unexpected and utterly delightful. Michael Kiwanuka seems like the British answer to contemporary American artists like Gary Clark Jr. and Leon Bridges and I'm not mad at that. The musicianship is top-notch, the songwriting is excellent, and the production quality is fantastic. I have nothing negative to say. Everything about this album was enjoyable.
Public Enemy
4/5
Yeeeaaaahh, boooooyeee!
Props to Chuck D, Flavor Flav, and Terminator X for being the bleeding edge of hiphop just as it was truly breaking wide... but this didn't age all that well. The beats are basic, the rhymes are primitive, and the lyrics are more hype than substance. It feels undeveloped... rudimentary.
But, at the end of the day, that's okay because this was the golden age of hiphop. The genre was still finding its feet as a mainstream art form. Every track was an experiment and every album a thesis statement. That ethos is prominently on display here which means that some tracks slap while others flop.
Ultimately, it's an enjoyable bit of history that's more than worthy of a listen before you die.
A Tribe Called Quest
5/5
I know Tribe has their detractors. "They don't come hard enough." "They're trying too hard." "They're too silly." "They're too serious." It's exhausting to hear people whinge on and on about 'em. The truth is this album is just so chill and fun it's hard to hate on it unless you're really trying. If you're too hard for Tribe, it's time to rethink your life choices and calm the hell down.
Because this album is just fantastic. It's all boom-bap tracks and laid back raps and the whole thing just slaps. It's impossible to stay still during tracks like "Can I Kick It?" The head nods are compulsory.
Easy 5-stars. Easy.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
1/5
I'm so sick of Neil Young's bullshit. "You know what we do too much of? Thinking about making good music. Let's just play some stuff in a barn. People will buy that." Screw you, Neil Young.
This albums sounds exactly like what it is: a half-assed attempt to milk the wallets of his misguided fans. Every track falls flat. There's no energy in any of these songs. They're flaccid. At the same time, they feel bloated. Every song laboriously plods on for at least a minute longer than it should.
"Ragged Glory" is a waste of everyone's time. Doubly so since I had to go hunt the album down on Youtube because Young threw a boomer-tantrum and pulled his shitty music off of Spotify.
Skunk Anansie
3/5
What a supremely strange album. The vocalist sounds like Alanis Morissette doing her best Tina Turner impression and the result is grating. Pair that with a pretty decent nu-metal backing band and you've got a recipe for cognitive dissonance. And just regular dissonance, for that matter.
I can't love it. The vocals are too extra. But I can't hate it either. The music is good more often than not. This is case of two opposing vibes earning an album a tepid three-star review.
Elton John
5/5
Just a huge album stacked with huge songs. Were they all crushers? No. But the songs that do slap, slap hard enough to make up for the rest.
Iggy Pop
4/5
It's so fascinating to me that Bowie and Iggy were contemporaries and friends. According to all reports, they loved and respected each other's music. And yet, in most respects, their music is so different.
This album is probably the closest that Iggy ever got to Bowie's style in part because Bowie had his hands all over it. And a good thing, too. Without Bowie in the mix, it's unlikely that Iggy would have managed to make "The Idiot" even happen. Lucky for us, it did happen and it remains a quintessentially Iggy album lyrically, musically, and vocally.
I'm an unapologetic Iggy Pop fan so I found very little to dislike here. There were some mixing/engineering choices that aren't my favorite and, unlike Bowie who can make a whole album while utterly cracked out of his mind and still perform flawlessly, Iggy's struggles with substance abuse left and audible thumbprint on this album. The end result is an almost spectacular album that falls short at merely a very good album.
The Only Ones
3/5
Seeing as how the album started with a saxophone solo, this was never going to be a 5-star review but I really thought it would get four stars. At least, I did at first. But the vocals and lyrics, man. They're so bad. And they don't have to be.
Look, I love the Violent Femmes. I really do. And Gordon Gano's (Violent Femmes) vocals have a lot in common with Peter Perrett's (The Only Ones) vocals. But, where Gano's vocals are raw and natural, Perrett's are definitely put on. "How could you possibly know that," you ask? Because, suddenly, at track 6 ("Creature of Doom") Perrett can sing. I had to double check to make sure they hadn't switched vocalists, the difference was so stark. No, that's definitely still the same guy which leads me to the only logical conclusion: the vocals up to this point were bad on purpose. And I can't excuse that.
All that said, the musicianship is really good. The MUSIC of the songs is all just great. Perrett is the problem. The vocals are bad and the lyrics are, more often than not, just stupid.
The Rolling Stones
5/5
I bounced back and forth between a 4 and a 5 for this album. It was alright, then it was great (man, "Wild Horses" is just so good), then there was an extended saxophone solo, then it was really good again... I don't know, man. I think it's a 5-star album but it's just.... not quite there. It wanders a bit too much. So here's a 4. But it's a really REALLY strong 4.
"Sister Morphine" is such a killer deep cut, though. So is "Moonlight Mile." Dang it. Okay, here's a 5. But it's a soft 5.
Femi Kuti
2/5
I don't know, man. Afrobeat never was my genre but here's just so much saxophone on this record.
The songs are slickly produced but, somehow, rarely engaging and, by about halfway through, everything began to sound the same.
And there were just so many saxophone solos. So many.
Primal Scream
2/5
The roots of what made "the sound" of the nineties are all here. Credit where due, Primal Scream did it earlier than almost everyone else. But almost everyone else did it better than Primal Scream.
"Screamadelica" never really finds its feet. Most of the tracks are 2-3 minutes longer than they need to be and the album bounces around between rock and pop with an odd ballad and electronic dance track thrown in here and there. None of it really works. Every track feels like the band got about 80% of the way there and then they just gave up and called it good enough.
But it's not really good enough, is it? It's just... disappointing.
The Hives
4/5
It seems like cheating to have a compilation album on this list. But then, this album was always intended as a cheat. The Hives didn't make an impact with their first two albums so they just took the good songs off of those albums, smashed 'em together into a single album and re-released them on a new, 28-minute album.
And it worked. They absolutely cheated their way onto the charts.
But, cheating aside, "Your New Favorite Band" is a super solid, concentrated, distilled rock album. It's a lot of fun and, at under 30 minutes, it definitely doesn't overstay its welcome. Very enjoyable.
The Police
3/5
Man, the 80s really were a bad time for music. As much as I wanted to like this album, "Synchronicity" is plagued by all the worst diseases of 80s pop. Metronomic drum lines, painfully primitive synths, and saxophone solos that pop up like mushrooms wherever the mix gets dense. Seriously, what's with all the saxophones in 80s pop?!
The first half of the album is an odd, muddy, mishmash of pop music tropes and mediocre songwriting. Which is why "Every Breath You Take" is such a shock when you finally get there. It is distinctly unlike everything proceeding it. The tempo slows, the production takes a big step forward, and Sting's vocal performance is suddenly deeply emotional. Is it creepy AF? Yeah, it really is. But it's also just good. Especially in the context of the rest of the album. Also, no saxophones. Win.
The following track, "King of Pain" is also pretty decent. But, sadly, those two songs are the only standouts. The Police immediately step back into the pattern they established by the first half of the album with "Wrapped Around Your Finger" and it's a quick slide downhill from there to the end of the album.
The Police were arguably the biggest band in the world when this album came out and, by all measures, "Synchronicity" was a massive success. But, by the time the pseudo-jazz car crash that is "Murder By Numbers" wraps up, it's painfully clear to a modern listener that the 80s were just the worst for music.
Jazmine Sullivan
2/5
Look, I'm one of the last people who's gonna dump on anything that purports to be about female empowerment. I'm all for that. But just because it's got its heart in the right place doesn't make it good.
And let's be clear, "Heaux Tales" is not very good. The production values are damn near non-existent and the backing beats are minimalist homages to authentic R&B tracks at best and amateur-hour ripoffs at worst.
But where it really falls apart is the lyricism. While the intent is clearly there, the execution is... immature. Juvenile, even. Everything comes off as the rantings and ravings of someone who hasn't seen enough life to understand the depth of what they're talking about. There's no pathos here. No perspective. It has the form of protest without the substance. This is serious stuff and all Jazmine is doing is skimming the surface.
I can't help but feel that "Heaux Tales" was added to this list too hastily. I don't imagine it will stand the test of time. I expect it will disappear into the noise of the dozens of similar hiphop/R&B albums that have come out in the last few years.
The Smiths
2/5
My feelings about The Smiths have changed over the course of this project. From apathy to dislike to disdain. Much of that downward progression can be attributed to Morrissey. He's such a vapid, pretentious ass. Listening to him whinge on and on about himself for a whole album leaves me filled with hatred and loathing. He's just the worst.
Bob Marley & The Wailers
5/5
What a great album. Marley has an uncanny ability to write scathing social commentary and put it to music that just feels good. There's anger and frustration here but it's mixed with enough joy to stay sweet. The result is so balanced that I find myself digesting the message without any of the jaded defensiveness that "message" albums often provoke. It's great. Marley and his Wailers were brilliant.
The Jam
2/5
"Affect: to put on a false appearance of (something).”
In this case, The Jam put on a false appearance of being an original band making original music with an original sound when, in fact, they were just biting sounds and styles and, in the case of the song "Start!", an entire (and iconic) bass line from other popular bands. And they did it on purpose. In fact, that was apparently the goal of this album. To pull enough influences from other bands to make this record successful.
I guess it worked with the critics because it's on this list. But it's just not working with me. Feels like what it is: an also-ran band making a look-alike album. If this list wasn't so brit-pop slanted, there's no way this album would make the cut.
Quicksilver Messenger Service
3/5
You know, I'm usually here for the psychedelic jam band vibe. And, for the first few tracks at least, I was digging this record. But then I hit track three which dissolves into pure, nonmusical noise about a minute in leaving the listener to suffer through five minutes of pointless cacophony. They brought it back around to, you know, actual music on the next track but it took most of the remainder of the album to regain its groove. And then, it totally lost the groove all over again on track ten before ending with an atonal rendition of a country song for some unknowable reason. Which is a shame because I can tell that these guys really do have chops.
This should have been a much better experience overall. A talented psychedelic jam band recorded live at not one but BOTH of the legendary Fillmore venues? Should have been a slam dunk. But, at the end of the day, it never quite managed to be great. Grateful Dead did it better the very same year. And they only needed one Fillmore to do it.
Foo Fighters
5/5
Long story short, I really enjoyed this album. It felt like Grohl took the attitude of Nirvana, mixed in a healthy dose of straight up metal, and then cranked the tempo up several notches.
The result is an album that comes out of the gate hard and never lets up. Even the "slow jam" on the album ("For All The Cows") has an absolute buzzsaw of a chorus. The album is jagged and sharp and merciless from beginning to end and I'm here for it.
This album is really the beginning of Grohl's ascendance from rock royalty to a legit rock god.
Barry Adamson
1/5
I really didn't like this album. But I get the impression that that Barry Adamson doesn't want people to like this album. He's clearly capable of creating music that people will genuinely enjoy but, Adamson seems to be of the school of thought that "art" and "entertainment" are mutually exclusive. As such, he's made this album unenjoyable for more than a minute or so at a time by making a point to dial up the "nope" factor any time the album starts to get good.
It's no surprise to learn that Nick Cave was attached this project as it has his distinctive stench smeared all over it. Adamson and Cave both seem to be cut from the same, soiled cloth and I just don't have the patience for the feces they try to sell as "art".
Sex Pistols
5/5
I mean, it's one of the greatest punk albums ever and I love it.
This beautiful, frantic mess has inspired so many musicians to stop just bitching about life, pick up a guitar, and pour their feelings into music. It's angry, angsty, nihilistic, and fun. The band just about ripped each other to shreds making it and I'll be damned if that's not just the most punk thing ever.
And, as if that weren't enough, "E.M.I." is one of the biggest middle finger tracks ever written. It's such a hard-core snub. A perfect punk-tuation (couldn't help myself) to end a truly monumental punk album.
I feel like I just got tricked into listening to Rod Stewart. And, you know, I was mad about it at first. But then I just resigned myself to fact that I was in for an album full of growly, overly-dramatic vocals.
And you know what? I really enjoyed the album. It's just solid, middle-of-the-road, rock and roll. Nothing super unique or surprising but everything was just... good. Even though there was a ton of Rod Stewart singing. Go figure.
Moby
5/5
This is such a beast of an album. There's not a single bad track. The whole thing slaps end to end. How is that possible?!
It's a perfect mix of mainstream rock traditions and club electronica concepts. The samples are all purposely chosen and perfectly used. The beats are concrete, they're so solid. Everything is so layered that, even on a second, third, or thirteenth listen, there's more to explore and enjoy. It doesn't get old. It's just... damn. So good.
Marvin Gaye
3/5
Often imitated but never duplicated, Marvin Gaye is everything that all the modern R&B crooners want to be. And, for what he does, he's the best. The problem is, he only does the one thing. If you've heard "Let's Get It On" (and you have), you've heard everything that Gaye has to offer. That's it. It's everything. The rest of the album is just that on repeat. I'm not sure it belongs on a list of albums we should hear before we die. It's really just the one song. And a ton of saxophone. So. Much. Saxophone.
Mike Ladd
3/5
I'm generally here for experimental hiphop. It's the dark corner where hiphop goes to try out new flexes and find new vibes before bringing it out into the lights for folks to look at. I think Mike Ladd did a good job here for the most part. The beats are avant-garde and the flows are non-standard. He's trying things, you know? I love that for him.
Unfortunately, every track feels like our mad Ladd was trucking down a path towards something great and then... stopped short of crossing the finish line. Everything feels incomplete. And that extends to the lyrics, unfortunately. I was hoping for some significant social commentary. What I got was same-same, lazy, middle-of-the-pack verses. Half-assed and boring. Which sucks because what's here COULD have been so much better. The foundation is there.
Shame, really.
Simon & Garfunkel
2/5
I find it hard to muster any enthusiasm for songs that are so incredibly passive and unchallenging. Simon's songwriting on this whole album is just so soft that they left no impression whatsoever.
In short, it's a boring album full of boring songs that frankly don't justify the album's inclusion in this list.
Hugh Masekela
4/5
As far as jazz goes, this isn't so bad.
All the skill that you expect from a highly-rated jazz album is there but the afrobeat influence gives "Home Is Where the Music Is" an edge over its contemporaries. The extremely strong emphasis on the rhythm section gives the music a structure and drive that's missing from most jazz songs.
Very solid entry. Especially for a jazz album.
Madonna
3/5
I wouldn't say that I enjoyed this album but I did appreciate it more than I expected to. If you were alive in '89, you know the hits here. Because they were shoved down your throat along with the unchallengeable assertion that Madonna was a force of nature to be worshipped as a goddess of pop. And maybe she is because I generally associate pop music with vapid lyrics underscored by watered down music. And that's what we've got here with "Like a Prayer".
That said, the production values here are frankly insane. I mean, damn. When you've got a Madonna-level recording budget, I guess it shows. It doesn't cover the fact that she's actually not a very good vocalist and most of the songs really aren't that great. Prince even makes an appearance but is unable to save "Love Song" from being an utter mess of a track.
But the recordings are beautiful and the mixing/mastering are truly top-notch, so there's that.
The Mars Volta
4/5
Here's an album that I hated when it came out and liked this time around. I don't know that it's the album that aged well. I think it's more that I've become more open to weird shit as I've gotten older.
And this is definitely weird. It's a post-prog concept album which... well, it would have been a hard no for me except that the drum work here is exceptional. Jon Theodore absolutely crushes and manages to keep everything on the rails even when the rest of the crew is skewing into chaos. So many bands in the same vein end up sounding like the musical equivalent of the guy who gets so high, walks in the kitchen, forgets what he came here for, and starts trying to bake a cake without a recipe because "that sounds awesome right now, dude." Jon Theodore's strong rhythm backbone keeps everything coherent. The music never forgets what it was doing.
The biggest issue with "De-loused in the Comatorium" is the same thing that plagues most concept albums. The songs make no damn sense. In attempting to tell a story that spans a whole album, none of the tracks say anything of substance. Add on the fact that the "concept" is itself kind of a disjointed fever-dream and you're left with mostly nonsensical vocals. And that's a real shame because the musicianship is exceptional, the production is fantastic, and the performances are powerful. But the end result is just... mostly good.
Jerry Lee Lewis
4/5
I mean, it's 22 minutes of sheer, frantic fire. While most of his contemporaries were simply imitating the energy of black rock-and-rollers, you can tell that Jerry Lee felt that fire in his bones. As a result, this performance feels like it belongs in the same conversation with James Brown instead of over with Elvis Presley and Buddy Holly where he often gets lumped.
It's a fantastic performance and a great bit of musical history from a deeply problematic individual. Docked a star because "High School Confidential" feels especially gross in the light of his incestuous, pedophilic marriage. Sorry, man. Can't get past that.
Billie Holiday
4/5
"Lady in Satin" feels like the soundtrack to every black-and-white film from the 50s. It's iconic and firmly rooted to a specific moment in time. With warbling strings, swelling brass, virtual lack of rhythm section, and Billie's unique croon, it's an album for the age.
But it's not an album for the ages. It's timely, not timeless. It's so soft, it's almost painful to listen to. The utter lack of backbone is understandable in an album from the 50s but falls flat in a modern context and, for that reason alone, this is a 4-star album to me. I hate to say it, but it gets boring very quickly.
In no way should that be taken as a slight on Billie Holiday or this album, however. It's a masterful work from a truly exceptional vocal talent in a time when it was difficult for a black female to make it in entertainment. She, and this album, belong in any conversation about the evolution of popular music in America.
Hanoi Rocks
4/5
This is a weird album. It seems as though Hanoi Rocks was unsure of what kind of band they were. It's glam, it's rock, it's pop, it's punk. It's a really odd, and at times exceptionally awkward, stew of genre tropes and my initial impressions were not good, to be honest. But, as the album progressed, it started to win me over.
"Back to Mystery City" is very strange but, on balance, it's fun and interesting. I think the novelty is worth a star.
Tito Puente
4/5
Well, color me shocked. I expected to barely suffer through this album. Instead, I ended up really enjoying it.
It's very much a product of its era but, once you settle in and give it permission to just be what it is, you can't help but start tapping your feet. Tito Puente delivers on the promise of the album title. The music is infectious and practically forces you to dance.
Not sure what else there is to say. It's just fun.
John Mayall & The Bluesbreakers
4/5
I mean, it's hard to argue with this blues album. It's so solid. Just a really great representation of the genre.
There WAS a saxophone solo which would usually be an automatic 1-star deduction from me but it was actually a really GOOD saxophone solo so I was going to let it pass... but then I hit the drum solo on "What'd I Say" which is 2 solid minutes of pointless flailing. THAT was enough to do what a saxophone solo couldn't do and take the album down to a 4-star rating.
It's still a solid 4 stars, though. Just skip track 6 and you're in for a good time.
Norah Jones
5/5
I don't think I properly appreciated this album when it came out. But now, 20 years later, I understand why Norah Jones was such a phenomenon.
Listening to this album just feels so good. Like slipping into cool, clean sheets after a long day. Or like a glass of whiskey, a comfy chair, and a good book. It's such a comfortable listening experience without being boring in the least.
I've got absolutely nothing negative to say about this album. What a treasure.
Beatles
5/5
I mean, it's Abbey Road. It's one of those albums that other albums are measured against. It's a no-contest 5 stars.
It's full of massive, genre-defining hits but it's the back half of the album that really seals the deal for me. The way they blend together a huge stack of short, but distinct songs into one long, experience is masterful. You just have to hold on and go for the ride all the way to the track titled "The End".
"Abbey Road" is an incredible ride from beginning to end without a single misstep. Masterwork.
Eagles
3/5
Eagles, at their edgiest, are just barely sharp enough to be interesting. When they soften that edge even slightly, the songs quickly become mind-numbingly boring. It's boomer soft-rock and I'm not interested in anything but the two hits ("Hotel California" and "Life in the Fast Lane"). The rest of the album is utterly forgettable.
In the words of my 9-year-old daughter, "I didn't really like that. It's kind of boring. Like, The Beatles have slow songs but they're interesting. These slow songs weren't interesting. I'm glad it's over, dad."
Green Day
4/5
When this album came out, I was listening to "real" punk, metal, and hardcore and couldn't be bothered with Billie Joe's pop nonsense. I like to think I've mellowed a bit since then.
And I must have because I enjoyed this WAY more than I expected to. It's fun. "American Idiot," "Boulevard of Broken Dreams," and "Wake Me Up When September Ends" are great but none of the tracks are snoozers. Every song seems to have a thesis and each track makes its point well.
That said, I am not here for 9-minute punk songs. And I'm not talking about the four tracks that are two songs mashed. Those get a pass because of the format. None of them break 9 minutes anyway. No, I'm talking about "Jesus of Suburbia" and "Homecoming" here. There's no excuse for that. You're padding your term papers, fellas. Just make the point and move on.
Led Zeppelin
4/5
It's a great album, make no mistake. It has a distinct vibe that flows throughout the whole album. A vibe that I'm for sure here for. The musicianship on this album, in particular, is exceptional. The best Zeppelin has ever played on an album. It's progressive and thoughtful and skillful. Really great stuff.
That said, there aren't really any stand-out tracks. Nothing that makes you sit up and pay attention. "Kashmir" is probably the closest thing to a hit on the album and even that drags on a bit. It's great, don't get me wrong. But it doesn't demand attention the way other Zepp monster hits like "When the Levee Breaks" or "Black Dog" do.
I'll listen to this on repeat in the background all day long, but it's just shy of a true 5-star album. 4 and a half stars, for sure.
k.d. lang
2/5
Yeah, no. Who asked for this? Nobody wants this. Why is this on the list?
The only good thing I can say about it is that Lang's voice isn't terrible. Hate that nasty, fake twang but she's got chops which is the only reason this mess doesn't get a single-star review.
Sade
1/5
I'm trying so hard to approach this album objectively and failing. British sophisti-pop is possibly the most obnoxious genre of music ever created and Sade is the epitome of the genre.
I found nothing redeeming in this album. The vocals are lazy, the melodies are sleazy, the lyrics are insipid, and DEAR GOD WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SAXOPHONE SOLOS. "Diamond Life" is absolutely infested with saxophone solos and it's not good. It's not good at all.
I hated literally every moment of this album.
Emmylou Harris
3/5
I didn't really enjoy this album. But, considering that I was expecting to hate this album, that's actually a pretty good outcome.
Nobody who grows up in Alabama escapes "Red Dirt Girl" any more than they escape "Sweet Home Alabama". It's part of the landscape. That carries with it a passing familiarity with Emmylou Harris which means that I came into this album with some preconceived expectations.
I'm happy to report that I was surprised by how much I didn't hate this album. It still wasn't super enjoyable, mind you. It's slow and boring and all the songs sound so very similar. Emmylou has a few vocal tricks up her sleeve and she just keeps repeating them over and over throughout the whole album.
BUT. The music was solid (if sometimes painfully inoffensive) and the lyrics were interesting more often than not. I'd go so far as to say that each track, taken on its own, is solid and maybe even enjoyable. But, all together in an album, they smear into a mediocre mash of sameness. There's nothing super wrong with the album as a whole other than it just being kind of boring.
Billy Bragg
3/5
I went back and forth on this one. At times, it felt like a 2-star album and, at other times, it felt like a 4-star album. There are songs like "Way Over Yonder in the Minor Key" that are just great. But there are also songs like "Ingrid Bergman" which is... just stupid. You can't help but think that there's a reason Guthrie didn't bother to write music for some of these songs.
I guess, on balance, it was a fun enough album that was recorded with enough passion and respect for the late, great Woody Guthrie that it deserves a passing grade.
Pavement
3/5
I don't know, man. I mean, it's alright. I enjoyed a lot of it. It was super out in left field for an album released in '92 and that's pretty cool, I guess.
But it's really noisy, isn't it? And not always in that, "we're punk and can't be bothered to worry about tone so just suck it up and deal, you wankers" kind of way. It's often noisy in a, "I have no idea how to guitar" kind of way. And that's frustrating after a while.
It's not BAD bad like many albums on this list. It's not so bad that I'm constantly reminded that I'm listening to it because I have to. It's just annoying enough that I forgot that there was a reason I was listening to it and found myself reaching for the controls to listen to something else before remembering that I needed to finish the album.
Al Green
4/5
Soul isn't generally my genre but there's something about Al Green's effortless energy that is just wonderful. I'm not sure what else to say. The man is an incredible performer and the musicianship was top-notch. Really enjoyable.
Beastie Boys
5/5
It was a five even before "Sabotage" hit. Everything about it is fire.
This is the best Beastie. Fight me.
Simply Red
1/5
Ew. This was released in '85?! Why does it sound like mid 70s disco trash? Gross.
Prefab Sprout
2/5
It's just bland, middle-of-the-road, milquetoast, vanilla, 80s pop. There's nothing of note or substance here and its inclusion on the list is utterly baffling.
Hüsker Dü
2/5
This sounds like what would happen if R.E.M. wrote the theme to "Friends" while Michael Stipe was out of town. Everything about this album screams "generic late-80s rock band" in the most lame way possible. The jangly guitars, the pointless lyrics, the painfully repetitive drum beats, and the bad vocals... it's just not good.
The Pogues
4/5
Geeze, that's a fun album. Not sure why it's on the list but I'm happy to listen to it any day of the week.
Is it groundbreaking? No. Does it feature world-class musicianship? Not really. Is it influential? I mean, if you're an Irish pub band, maybe?
But, at the end of the day, I don't care. It's fun. A lot of fun. And that's all I care about today.
Miles Davis
4/5
Miles Davis is the undisputed king of cool. If you're going to play with Davis, you better bring your A-game and pay attention to what Miles is doing. Everyone in the band got the memo and understood the assignment.
Except for Coltrane. While everyone else was focused on riding the pocket, nailing the vibe, and producing the single tastiest jazz album of all time, John Coltrane was just trying to cram as many notes into the bars as possible without regard for what anyone else was doing.
There's just too much Coltrane on this Miles Davis album. Would have been an easy 5-stars if it weren't for John's nonsense. Luckily, he dialed it back for the last half of the album but, at the end of the day, I wanted WAY more Miles Davis than I got from this Miles Davis joint.
The Band
5/5
This is just... I mean, dang. This album feels so good to listen to. I don't know how else to describe it. The sound, the vibe, the musicianship is all so good that it's practically a mood-altering drug.
There were so many moments where I found myself literally stopped in my tracks by a guitar riff, a lyric, the organ tone, or something else. I ended up giving up on everything that I was trying to do while listening to this album and just letting myself listen.
Any album that demands my attention like this deserves 5 stars.
Aphex Twin
3/5
That's... incredibly boring. It's just boots and cats all the way down. Good for what it is, I suppose, but there's no real point to it, is there?
Randy Newman
4/5
I think, to a certain degree, I'm generationally preconditioned to have a positive emotional response to Randy Newman's voice. His contributions to Pixar films aside, Newman really does have a very comfortable and easy delivery that seems somewhat designed to put the listener at ease.
That's why it's so jarring when he comes at you with a song like "Political Science" and drops lines like, "They don't respect us/So let's surprise them/We'll drop the big one/And pulverize them." It feels out of place. But, honestly... it works. His delivery disarms the defensive cynicism that protest songs tend to provoke in me.
I enjoyed this album a lot. Way more than expected.
Run-D.M.C.
4/5
Man, that's just good. The only reason it doesn't rate a five is because the beats get REALLY repetitive when listening to a whole album. But every track, taken by itself, is a banger.
Frank Ocean
3/5
While Frank has an undeniably great voice, he suffers from the same malady as most of his generation of R&B artists. Namely, he can't craft a melody to save his life. Rather, his vocals just wander around, leaving the heavy lifting of crating a hook to the beats instead.
If you took an Ocean fan aside and hummed one of these vocal lines to them, even one of his most ardent fans would be hard pressed to name that tune. Do the same for Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, or James Brown and you'll have a very different experience. Crafting melodies that stick in your head and heart used to be part of R&B.
Frank Ocean vocals deserve hooks that don't let go. Unfortunately, this album doesn't give me that.
Richard Thompson
4/5
A surprisingly great folk rock album from the UK. Richard Thompson's songwriting is so quintessentially British that it's hard not to like it. Melancholy and fatalistic in equal measure with just the right hint of optimism to keep the ship afloat. Really well done.
This was so close to a 5-star album. I bounced back and forth on it throughout the whole album but, at the end of the day, there just wasn't enough that was truly exceptional to earn it 5 stars. But it's a solid 4.5 at least.
The Byrds
4/5
The best Dylan songs are the ones that someone else sang. This album is a great example of that. There's a whole lot of Dylan on this album for an album that Dylan didn't appear on but I'm not mad about it.
"Mr. Tambourine Man" is a great time capsule of music in '65. It's light-hearted, and poppy, but with that jingle-jangle of early rock. The main reason this doesn't get full marks is that it feels like cheating to load up your album with a bunch of covers and then claim it as your own.
Justice
4/5
I have a soft spot for Justice that I can't quite... justify. Maybe it's because this album and Crystal Method's "Divided By Night" were my first real intro to the genre. They both taught me to expect a lot from electronic musicians. Complexity, nuance, balance, and (most of all) a real melody line. Justice does a great job of ensuring that, even without a vocalist, the listener knows which song they're listening to and can hum along with it.
I really do like this album a great deal. However, in the interests of fairness, it DOES get repetitive and some of the sounds are dated so I can't quite justify a full five-star review.
Def Leppard
4/5
Listen, I know this is straight-up bubblegum pop hairmetal. None of these lyrics are going to challenge anyone and there's nothing surprising on the album.
But damn if it isn't a whole lot of fun. It's also a rare example of an album where the b-side tracks hit so much better than the a-sides. I mean, "Foolin'," "Rock of Ages," and "Billie's Got A Gun" all on the same side? That's a lot of fun relegated to the flip.
I sure can't justify a 5-star review here. It's just not that good. But it's too fun for a 3-star. So here we are. 4 stars for you, you silly brits.
Yes
4/5
This album takes me right back to my childhood. Yes was my dad's favorite band so almost all of these songs felt familiar.
I never realized how much Southern influence there is in Yes's music until today's listen. I always just put them in the "prog" bucket and moved on but there's a lot of solid, southern, 70s groove here. It's fun. It's interesting. It's a little cheesy but that's alright.
Overall, I really enjoyed it. Is it timeless? Not even close. Hence the 4 stars.
Anita Baker
2/5
I don't know, she has a good voice, I guess. This 80s R&B is just so cheesy, though. It's all drum machines, shallow lyrics, and saxophone solos. I was glad when it was over.
She has a good voice, though, so there's that.
Sheryl Crow
3/5
I expected to score this higher than I did. Crow really is an exceptional writer. The lyrics on this album show a depth and maturity that I just never expect from a debut album. It helps, I think, that Crow was 31 when she released this. She'd had enough real life experiences that these themes ring true.
The main problem here is that the album just didn't age well. While Crow herself is stellar, most of the backing tracks are kind of ugly. Most of the album feels weirdly synthetic. But not in a slick, overproduced way. More of a rough, cheap plastic way. The drums on "Leaving Las Vegas" are particularly offensive which is a shame because it's such a good track otherwise.
Def Leppard
4/5
"Hysteria" is 100% rock anthems and power ballads and that's alright by me. It's a total radio-metal cheesefest and I don't even care.
The cheese factor is mitigated by a saw-blade edge that's not present on earlier DL albums. That edge is led by Joe Elliot's vocals. He really hit his peak on Hysteria. The rest of the band follows suit and puts just a little more oomph into their work leading to a fist-pumping performance that almost makes you forget that the lyrics to EVERY SONG are utterly inane. I mean really stupid stuff.
But here's the thing: it doesn't matter. It never did matter. Joe Elliot and his boys knew it didn't matter when they wrote the songs. All that mattered was that people would get amped when the songs came on the radio. So that's what they wrote: radio-metal rock anthems and innuendo-laden power ballads.
And I don't even care. It's a blast.
R.E.M.
4/5
Not my favorite R.E.M. but it's still hella good. This is Stipe's most primitive songwriting which means that it's so cryptic that it's nearly unintelligible. You can tell that HE knows what he's talking about at least. But the band member who really stands out here is Mike Mills whose basslines are utterly amazing. They carry every one of these songs on their back with ease and grace. He is a beast of a musician and proved it on this debut album.
Here's what makes this album notable, though: when viewed in historical context, "Murmur" is a decade ahead of its time. You could play this next to albums released '93 or '95 and it would feel at home. But it's not a 90s album. It's early-mid 80s - right at the cutting edge of the post-punk alt/grunge movement. I love that R.E.M. released an album in '83 that had ZERO new-wave, fake-drum, synth bullshit. It's so delightfully different from its 80s contemporaries.
Arctic Monkeys
5/5
Oh, right. It's that British White Stripes band. At least, that's how I mentally categorized them back when this album came out. Just another copycat. But, with the clarity of hindsight and the perspective of the intervening years, I think I was being unfair.
There's a lot going on here that's unique and delightful. The lyrics, in particular, are really stinkin' clever. Add to that a sound that's utterly relentless and you've got some pretty great songwriting. It's an album that never lets the listener sit back and relax. Once you hit play, you're on the hook. And I'm here for that.
In fact, after listening to the whole thing, I think it's not so much an imitation of White Stripes as it is an evolution of the sound. I think that, on balance, this is superior. I didn't expect to give Arctic Monkeys full marks but here we are.
Echo And The Bunnymen
3/5
Well, it didn't suck. But it also wasn't very good. These boys clearly have some skill, they just didn't do much with it. I wanted more than I got out of this album.
Dizzee Rascal
3/5
Despite being an unabashed fan of hip-hop, I'm never gonna be a grime head, I guess. I keep giving it a try and I just can't get into it.
That said, somewhere around track 5, I started to actually understand what Dizzee, and by extension the genre, is trying to do/be. Dizzee may be rapping but this isn't hip-hop and that's a game-changing realization. It's more akin to dance genres like garage or jungle. When approached with that understanding, grime makes so much more sense. I was able to move through the rest of the album and... kind of enjoy it.
I'm still not into grime, mind you. But I went from actively disliking it to respecting and appreciating it. That's worth a few stars for the boy in da corner.
Prince
5/5
All Prince songs exist somewhere within a classic, three-circle Venn diagram. One circle is "brilliant musicianship", one is "sheer egotism", and the last is "utterly insane". The best songs fall into that beautiful center overlap. "Purple Rain" has SO MANY songs in the dead center of the diagram ("Let's Go Crazy", "When Doves Cry", "Purple Rain") that it demands a 5-star review.
Bob Dylan
5/5
This album is just so good. I wasn't in the mood for Dylan today. It didn't matter. Two tracks in, I was all-in on Dylan again.
He's just such a monster of a songwriter. That cannot be overstated. But, on top of his incredible songwriting, there's an energy to this album - a youthfulness - that's compelling. It requires attention.
And, for the record, Dylan's "Mr. Tambourine Man" is lightyears better than the jingle-jangle pop cover that made The Byrds famous. "Bring It All Back Home" gets five stars, easy.
Pink Floyd
5/5
Contrary to popular opinion, there are Pink Floyd albums that don't rate five-star reviews. This is not one of them, though.
This is clearly the work of a group of exceptionally talented musicians who know exactly what they want to create and how to get there. It's fantastic from start to end. Weird as hell but unassailably brilliant at the same time. This one gets to live on repeat all day.
Kate Bush
1/5
This album feels like an unfinished demo on almost every level. The lyrics read like works-in-progress, the vocals feel like phoned-in scratches, and all of the songs sound like the engineer forgot to unmute half of the tracks before bouncing the mix to tape.
I know this was a huge hit for Kate... but I can't for the life of me understand why. The only thing I can think is that it must have been just a bit more interesting than its contemporaries. 1985 was a rough year for music...
The Magnetic Fields
2/5
Concept albums almost always fall short of the mark. Even when they don't take three hours to get through. The schtick always wears thin as songwriters work to force thoughts into spaces that don't fit like Cinderella's step sisters trying on shoes. In the end, concept albums always find they have to cut off their toes to get the shoe on. The result is a bloody, painful mess. And that's exactly what we're dealing with here.
It's a slow, shallow, painful slog of an album. I didn't need it. Nobody needs it. Take the best 15-20 of these tracks and put them on an album without all the trash tracks and you've got something. But that doesn't fit the concept. And, because Stephin Merritt insisted on serving the concept, he's failed the listener.
Beth Orton
2/5
British folktronica, huh? You know, on paper, I should have disliked this, but I didn't. I didn't really LIKE it either. I just... experienced it.
It would be very hard to hate this album. It's just so inoffensive. But that's, to some degree, why it's hard to love it too. It has no sharp edges, pushes no boundaries, and doesn't ask anything of the listener. It just... exists quietly in the corner out of everyone's way. Every track lingers just a little too long and Beth spends just a little too much time singing wordless nothings for no reason. Her voice is excellent. I just wish she was singing something interesting.
Blur
2/5
I'm sure Blur has a fanbase because there are two albums from them on this list. But, the fact is, they're a one-hit-wonder.
The thing with one-hit-wonders is that their "one hit" stands out. Blur has "Song 2" and it's the only song like it on the album. Nothing else is even close to matching the energy. I know the band meant it as a joke track but the joke is on Blur. "Song 2" is 10x better than anything else in their catalog.
I don't understand why we have an album by a one-hit-wonder on this list. The fact that there are two albums by Blur is unfathomable to me.
Bon Jovi
4/5
I expected to hate this so hard. In my mind, Bon Jovi is that cheesy act that my wife likes from when she was a kid.
I hate that I didn't hate this. This band definitely knows how to rock. The music is... well, dammit, it's irresistible. Richie Sambora is a monster shredder and Tico Torres is a freaking machine. They're locked in and unrelenting. Every song is either a fist-pumping anthem or a heart-felt ballad. This is an album crafted by people who knew exactly what they were doing. I'm not a huge fan of that 80 vocal style that Jon Bon Jovi is known for but it is what it is.
The main problem is the lyrics. They are just SO cheesy. That, I believe, was entirely by design. Bon Jovi fully intended to get peoples' blood pumping but not challenge them with the lyrics in any way. And it worked. For a hot minute, they owned the intersection of pop and hard rock. And they reaped the rewards of that balance. It hurts to say but (if this album is any indication), they earned their fame.
I guess I should have trusted my wife. She's always been a rocker. Now she'll get to hear her three favorite words: "you were right."
Dire Straits
1/5
I don't understand... do people actually LIKE Dire Straits? I thought they were mostly a punchline, not like... a serious thing that people were into.
This album definitely doesn't make me think that they're anything more than a sad joke. The music is mediocre. Like aggressively middle-of-the-road. And the lyrics are... well, at best they're cloyingly saccharine. At worst, these songs are actively bigoted. It's almost as though Dire Straights were into Springsteen but felt that he didn't push his ultra-macho, white, working-class agenda hard enough. "Money For Nothing" in particular just didn't age well.
The whole thing reeks like a balding boomer day-drunk on wine coolers desperately trying to convince people he's cool still. Also there's a whole song that's basically an extended saxophone solo. Hard no. The more l listened, the more I hated this whole experience.
Paul McCartney and Wings
3/5
I went back and forth on this one. Every time I started to feel good about the album, I got hit with an absolute turd of a song. Conversely, every time I started to feel like this might be a total dud of an an album, I got hit with a track that was pretty good.
This was never going to be a five-star album. There are far too many saxophone solos for that. But it very well could have been a four-star album. Unfortunately, the recordings and performances are far too messy for that, not to mention the laziness of a lot of the songwriting. Which is, in my mind, inexcusable. It's Paul freaking McCartney, for crying out loud. I expect better from a songwriter of that caliber. For better or for worse, he is held to a higher standard. In the case of Band on the Run, he was found wanting.
Baaba Maal
3/5
This was a hard one to review. Every track had me tapping my toes... at first. The music here is good but it's all so mind-numbingly repetitive. I have a feeling that a lot of what makes this album so good is the vocals but, as I don't understand any of them, I'm left missing half of the equation.
I have loved every album from Mali that's been on this list and, while this isn't Malian, it has shades of the things that I love from those albums. But only shades. The rhythms and energy are there but they're not fully explored. They're just laid out and then repeated a hundred times.
I wanted to love this and I didn't. I fully accept that this is likely on me because I don't understand the language but, unfortunately, "Djam Leelii" just falls short of being truly enjoyable.
Buddy Holly & The Crickets
2/5
I know this is going to be an unpopular opinion but I freaking hate this album. It reeks of shallow sentimentalism and blatant misogyny. Nothing about this album aged well. The music is basic, the lyrics are dull, the performances are utterly lacking in energy. It's the worst of mid-century white America and I can't with it. None of these songs stand the test of time if you make the effort to look past the rose-glasses sentimentalism and actually look at the lyrics.
I would agree that this was a milestone record in American music. But mostly because it marked the last highway exit before rock-n-roll hit the gas and become something actually worth listening to. That's the only reason this doesn't get a single-star review.
Manic Street Preachers
4/5
This band wasn't even on my radar but the album is solid. Not particularly remarkable but it's a solid, enjoyable album. Glad I got to hear it before I died.
Emmylou Harris
4/5
This is a good example of the good that this project has done for me, as a music fan. Had I gotten this album earlier in the project, I'd have ripped it to shreds in my review. Now, almost 500 albums in, I have a little more perspective.
Emmylou clearly has one of the best voices in country music. There's no argument possible there. She's an incredible vocalist. The issue here is the songs. The vast majority of them are utter slogs. Mind-numbingly slow drags through the mud of steel guitar and banjo refrains.
But it's far from the worst of the country albums I've gotten on this list. In fact, it might be some of the best. There's a joy here that's missing in the songs of Loretta Lynn or Merle Haggard. The production is solid. And, of course, Emmylou is exceptional. I can't bring myself to give it a 5 but it has earned every bit of its 4-star review.
Scott Walker
3/5
It's... I mean, it's okay. Kinda cheesy and plastic for an album from '69 but not offensively so. The biggest issue is the off-brand, Bowie-esque vocals. Not great, bud.
I don't know. I didn't hate it or love it. It just... Was a thing I listened to. Not sure why it's on the list but it was fine, I guess.
GZA
4/5
One of the Tangiest albums to ever Wu. Even though it's not technically a Wu-Tang album, it's got all of the Clan members on it and all of the weird kung-fu vibes of a Wu-Tang joint just cranked to 11.
I enjoyed the hell out of this which is why it's getting high marks but it's still cheesy AF (like all Wu-Tang joints) which is why it's not getting a perfect 5. Still an utter blast, though.
Frank Sinatra
5/5
This is, hands down, my favorite Sinatra record to date. Gone is the swagger and ego of the King of Croon. Instead, we're presented with an image of a tender hearted, big-feels lover. The lyrics are beautiful and the delivery is, unsurprisingly, flawless. The musical arrangements are stark and minimal, perfectly complimenting the moody vocals.
I have no complaints here. "In the Wee Small Hours" is a very specific vibe and I'm here for it.
Keith Jarrett
3/5
An hour of a single instrument is too much. I don't care what the instrument is, who's playing it, or how good they are. I'll admit that, of all the instruments, piano is the most likely to be interesting the longest... but it's still too much.
To be clear, Keith Jarrett is clearly a phenomenal player. Just fantastic. But it's still boring after about 15 minutes which doesn't even get you out of the first track. On top of that, it's jazz. Which means that, rather than have things like, I don't know, structure or melody, it's just a series of wandering chord variations which are fascinating to play, I'm sure. But not so great to listen to for an hour.
There are moments, though. Moments of shocking, crystalline clarity when Jarrett steps out of the chord-fog and everything suddenly snaps into focus. Those moments are electric. Shocking in their intensity and, unfortunately, in their brevity. They're not enough to pull this thing entirely out of the self-indulgent nose-dive but they are enough to let Jarrett stick the landing on a middle-of-the-road score.
Wild Beasts
1/5
Freaking great music. Freaking horrendous vocals.
Look mate, you might think that sliding into every note is a cool stylistic choice but we all know it's just because you can't find the damn note. You're not fooling anyone and the falsetto bit wears very thin very fast.
Listening to this album, I was mostly overwhelmed by anger that such good music was getting utterly shat on by such terrible vocals. At the end of the day, as much as I wanted to give this a better score for the band's sake, the vocals are so bad that I just can't give it anything more than a single star. I just hate those damn vocal so much. SO MUCH.
The Doors
5/5
Geeze. What a great album. Even with the weirdness that is "The End", it's just non-stop bangers and vibe. Ray Manzarek is a beast of a player and really pulled out all the stops (literally, because he's the organ player) on this debut album. Not that anybody dialed it in. Every player was on their game and Jim Morrison's performances were stellar. There's just so much energy here. Had to listen to it twice. Easy 5 stars.
Paul Simon
3/5
Like almost all of Paul Simon's work, this album swings back and forth between awkward self-deprecation and confident competence. It's as though Simon knows that he's a talented songwriter... but worries that maybe people will laugh at him if he tries anything too unusual. I find the resulting timidity off-putting and I can't help but wonder what he could do if he just leaned into his talent and went for it, full-throttle instead of playing it safe.
Tom Waits
2/5
If Tim Burton had a lechy old uncle who lived under a bridge and accosted passersby for cigarettes and viagra, this is what that guy's album would sound like. It doesn't feel good. It doesn't sound good. It's just not good.
Tom Waits. What a hack.
Traffic
4/5
Jazz flute and saxophone solos and STILL it's a solid 4 for me. I'm even sure who I am anymore. All I can say is that everything else is just so solid that the flute and saxophone can be overlooked for the most part. In fact, if "Freedom Rider" just didn't exist, this would be a 5-star album.
Every song is its own unique vibe which is interesting in part because the album is only 6 tracks long. Much more and the novelty would wear thin. But, for 34 minutes, I can hang with the changes.
Fela Kuti
4/5
Man, that's just a lot of fun. Hard to find much to fault with this one. It's energetic, skillful, and timeless. Sure, there's a bit of an overabundance of hand drums but that's the genre, you know? Super fun.
Teenage Fanclub
2/5
It's... fine I guess? There's nothing much here, to be honest. It comes off a little watered-down and kind fake. It's like it's not even really rock and roll. It's just rock-flavored music.
I feel like Teenage Fanclub is the cheese pizza of rock music. If you like pizza, you're going to be okay with plain cheese pizza. But if someone starts telling you that their favorite pizza is plain cheese, you start questioning whether or not they have the palate of a child. Similarly, if someone told me that their favorite band was Teenage Fanclub, I'd start to question their taste in music.
Well, it's definitely a U2 album. No question about that. But, despite that fact, I'm not sure why it's here. All we needed on the list was "Achtung Baby" and "The Joshua Tree". This album has two songs worthy of adding to the pantheon of great U2 songs ("Beautiful Day" and the unnecessarily long-titled "Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of") and the rest is utterly forgettable at best and annoyingly preachy at worst. I didn't need this. Nobody did. Except for U2, I guess. Gotta fulfill those record contracts.
The Cramps
2/5
On paper, this should have been a win for me. Rockabilly-tinged garage punk? Sign me up.
Sadly, it just doesn't work. The Cramps took all the bad parts of rockabilly and all the no-skill thrashing of punk, tossed 'em at the wall, put the stuff that wouldn't stick onto an album, and called it "something new." And I guess it was new? This was the first psychobilly band, after all. They might have been first but others did it better. Even they did it better later on.
And then there's the lyrics to take into account. When they're not just stupid, they're offensive in that manufactured, artificial way that one expects from shock jocks and kids whose dads wouldn't hug them. Just lame.
Points for starting a thing, I guess, but it wasn't an enjoyable listening experience.
Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five
2/5
I wanted to like this album. I tried so hard. It's such an important part of musical history. But it's kind of awful. It's cheesy AF. The lyrics are mostly vapid, the samples are mostly disco, and the delivery is as boring as it comes. I know this was put out in '82 but it has the indelible stench of '70s disco all over it.
It's a cornerstone album because of the subsequent artists and albums it inspired, not because it's actually any good. Because it's not. No matter how badly I wanted it to be.
Stevie Wonder
4/5
I was super not digging this one as it kicked off. Sometimes Stevie comes across so soft that it's off-putting. But, somewhere around "Higher Ground" he stopped playing around and started laying it down. Ended up really enjoying "Innervisions" far more than expected.
The Jesus And Mary Chain
3/5
It's not bad. In fact, for the time, it's pretty good. But the production quality is so awful that it takes a whole star off the review. I've never heard an album that's been compressed so hard in my life. The result is a painful pressure-wave of distortion. There are no dynamics. Everything feels like a fuzz-washed wad of power-pop that's been crammed into a tin can.
And it's really a shame because the music ain't bad at all. A lot of what's on here is 5-10 years ahead of its time. It's telegraphing grunge before grunge was a thing. The production is just SO BAD. It's giving me a headache.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
1/5
Y'all. This is not good. Nothing about this is worthy of a listen. It has no redeeming qualities.
If this is your jam, I don't know what to do with you, brodude. I just don't know.
Drive-By Truckers
4/5
As someone who grew up in Alabama, I get real uncomfortable any time someone starts "singing songs about the southland." There are too many songs that glorify a past that should be vilified and a present that should be a source of shame. As such, I was really turned off by this album at first. Sure, the music was really good but all the songs seemed to glorify the south which is just... it's hard. About the time I heard the line, "the south will rise again," I wrote the whole thing off.
But then I hit the track "Three Great Alabama Icons" - a spoken-word piece (which is usually a no-go for me) that laid out exactly my problems with what Patterson Hood calls "the duality of the southern thing." That's when I realized that Patterson and I share the same struggle as kids from Alabama. It's possible to love our place and our people and our culture and hate the history of hate that it carries with it. It's possible to love the south while recognizing and denouncing its racist past. It's possible... but it's incredibly uncomfortable.
Do I think Patterson got it all right? No. He glorifies division, spends a lot of breath on his "rebel" identity, and points fingers at other places saying, "other folks are racists, too," which is a cop-out that I can't abide. But that's what it's like being from the south. Even when we agree on racism and that damn rebel flag, we struggle with understanding our modern, southern identity in the context of history. I think, as a culture, southerners have earned that struggle. We've earned the discomfort of trying to explain that southerners - all of us, regardless of our racial background - are a beautiful people with an ugly past.
Anyway, is it a good album? Yeah, it really is. The sound is perfectly executed, the lyrics are (by-and-large) cleverly written and extremely effective at communicating their message. It's a solid piece of cultural commentary wrapped in some damn fine guitar licks.
Turbonegro
5/5
Whatever numbnut categorized this as "glam rock" needs to have their hearing checked or their critic card revoked. This is punk. It sits comfortably on the same part of the spectrum as The Clash and The Ramones even though it's decades younger.
As such, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Maybe that's because my expectations were so low given the glam label or maybe it's just because I'm a punk kid who just gets off on guitars distorted to sandpaper roughness. Either way, this was a total joy ride for me and I'm here for it all day.
Dead Kennedys
5/5
Man, I really enjoyed that. The Kennedys are a bit more political than their contemporaries but always manage to avoid getting bogged down by preaching. It's an absolute romp of a record. Loved it so much I played it through twice.
Which is easy enough since it's only 36 minutes long. 15 songs, 36 minutes. Love that vibe. Each song comes in hard, sticks around just long enough to make a point, and then we're moved on to the next one. No wasted time, no bloated verses, no pointless vamps. Just pure, distilled rock. So good.
Joni Mitchell
2/5
Joni Mitchell seems to believe that she's above such things as "melody" or "hooks" or "choruses". She seems to operate under the belief that she can take whatever poem she's written and just warble it tunelessly into a microphone and people will love her for it.
Well, I do not. This was incoherent trash. The only reason it's not getting a one-star review is because the lyrics, while unbelievably self-indulgent, were well written. Had this been a spoke word album, it would have scored better.
Paul Simon
2/5
I don't really know what to do with this. It's not rock, it's not folk, it's not pop. I guess it's adult contemporary? It's like... The soft, Fisher-Price version of music. There are no sharp edges, no challenging moments, no interesting... Anything. Super boring.
Gil Scott-Heron
1/5
Another boring AF, soft-jazz, elevator-disco album. Painfully uninteresting. I kept thinking it'd pick up at least a little bit. But it didn't. For the first 20 minutes, it just got softer and softer and softer... to the point that I started feeling legitimate anger that I had to listen to something so pointless. Starting around track 4, "Back Home", the album picks up the pace a bit but the lyrics are still childishly soft and meaningless. And dear LORD the jazz flute. I don't know that I could hate this more. What a waste of time.
Oasis
4/5
It's not the best Oasis album but it sets up everything that makes "Morning Glory" the best. It's all here, they just hadn't quite figured out how to dial the Oasisness up to 11 yet. It's still a damn good album.
Rufus Wainwright
2/5
I've got to be honest. This album didn't make much of an impression on me, positive or negative. At most, it just felt pretentious. Not aggressively or offensively pretentious, though. More of a relatively harmless self-indulgence. Like, "Huh. Did that guy just put foie gras on his cheeseburger? Seems like a waste but it's his money, I guess."
Magazine
3/5
IDK, it's fine, I guess? Sounds a lot like what it is which is a watered-down version of Buzzcocks. Not much here, TBH.
Pixies
2/5
My main takeaway from this album is that Pixies really didn't know who they were on this album. It's inconsistent and scattered. No two songs actually sound like they belong on the same album.
It feels like they really WANTED to make something new but, rather than fabricating something actually new, they just used parts of songs from other bands. It's got bits of the punk sound but it lacks an understanding of the WHY of punk which is honestly kind of offensive. And not in the good way like punk is supposed to be. In the bad way like the kid who shows up at the show with a Ramones shirt but has never actually listened to a Ramones album.
One year later, they dropped "Bossanova" which was a thousand times better. Somewhere in that year, they figured themselves out. I'm happy for them. Unfortunately, this album wasn't all that great. Ah well. They can't all be winners.
Beatles
5/5
It's a great album, there's no arguing against that. Is it their best? No. But it might be their smartest.
The songwriting is very clever and shows the depth of their skill by conveying some pretty deep and significant concepts with simple, almost childlike, lyrics. There's nuance here that's missing from earlier Beatles albums.
It's also fun to listen to which helps.
Willie Colón & Rubén Blades
3/5
Eh. Never been a fan of mild salsa.
There's a certain amount of energy here that's... almost appealing? But it's missing the edge that a lot of other latin albums on this list have. The energy is blunted by the smoothness of the delivery. Which is a shame because the musicianship is clearly tops - these guys are masters - but the delivery leaves me wanting. Every track outstays its welcome by about 2 minutes, too.
I'm left feeling like, if these fellows would just slip the lead and cut loose, they'd blow the roof off the joint. But they don't. They play it safe, instead. Hence the middling score.
King Crimson
2/5
I'm never going to be into prog. No matter how hard I try, it's just never going to happen. I've resigned myself to this fact. So, I guess take this review with a grain of salt.
There's WAY too much jazz in this rock for anyone's good. It's so self-indulgent as to be downright masturbatory. I'm not interested in hearing you strangle a saxophone either metaphorically or literally. And don't get me started on the freaking flutes. What the actual hell. That's a no for me, dawg. Hard pass.
The ONLY reason this doesn't fail utterly is because you can easily tell that these guys have chops. They're legitimately great musicians. Too bad they spent their energy in this wack-off of an album instead of creating something actually enjoyable. What a waste.
The Chemical Brothers
4/5
As a critical listening piece, this album is really hard to get through. But as a background, GSD soundtrack, it's fantastic.
It's repetitive but also additive, building on itself, bar after bar, in clever and compelling ways. This is the sound of human energy making forward progress.
So yeah, I liked it a lot.
Amy Winehouse
3/5
Look, it's not like it's a bad album. Not even close. But the fake, nostalgic vintage sound (the fauxstalgia, if you will) wears thin really REALLY fast. The fact that, following her death, dozens of imitations have popped up like mushrooms in the shade of a fallen tree doesn't help. I'm sick of hearing vocalists chewing their vowels to try to sound like fauxstalgic caricatures of the iconic vocalists of yore.
For all that, it's still a good album. I can't, in good conscience, give it less than three stars. But my sheer annoyance with the fake vintage schtick won't let me give it any more than three stars either.
Neil Young
2/5
Neil Young is a hack and his songs are boring as hell. This album is no exception. The fake western twang and lazy slide guitar riffs stink of nostalgia for a past that never existed.
The only reason this isn't a 1-star album is the musical performances, when divorced from Young's lyrical bullshit, are pretty solid. Tim Drummond in particular does work with his bass lines and that deserves recognition.
The Velvet Underground
1/5
Ohh... kay. Wasn't really expecting... whatever that was.
It certainly has its moments of brilliance ("White Light/White Heat", "Sister Ray", and "Beginning to See the Light" are so good). But it also has its moments of utter batshit WTFery. Unfortunately, the latter far outnumber the former. I mean, "The Gift"? "Lady Godiva's Operation"? What the actual hell?
I really REALLY wanted to give this at least a 2-star rating. I kept desperately looking for reasons not to fail the album... but I realized I was trying too hard to make excuses for what is, truly, a shit record.
The Beach Boys
3/5
Brian Wilson is... well, he's a little insane, sure. But he's also kind of a genius. His absence is felt on this album. It feels awkward and thin even when they layer on those thick, Beach Boys harmonies. It's just lacking that THING that made "Pet Sounds" such a monster album. Also, the jazz flutes... stahp.
The saving grace here is that the lyrics are actually pretty great. It's a much deeper assortment of topics and perspectives than one expects from a Beach Boys joint and I love that. So, on balance, it nets a middling 3 stars from me.
The Byrds
3/5
It's alright, I guess. I'd prefer significantly less yee-haw, simpering steel guitar, banjo-picking country in my psych rock, though. The combo didn't really work as well as I think they wanted it to. There are some creative engineering choices here that just didn't work out either.
Over all, a pretty disappointing showing from some folks who are objectively pretty good musicians.
Morrissey
3/5
When I got this album, I groaned out loud. I have hated everything that Morrissey has touched so far. But "Viva Hate" is surprisingly... mild? For a Morrissey joint, it's pretty inoffensive.
Is it good? Well, not particularly. Morrissey is still a massive douche and that absolutely comes across in these tracks. But the music behind the pretentious tosser is really solid 80s pop-rock. The engineering is really good as well. Great tracks. Too bad they have Morrissey's massive ego smeared across them.
I can't understand the cult of personality that has sprung up around this narcissistic, whiney egomaniac. But, in the interest of fair and balanced reviews, I can't give this one less than a 3-star review regardless of how hard it was to get past Morrissey's self-absorbed crooning.
Jefferson Airplane
3/5
When Jefferson Airplane sticks to doing the Jefferson Airplane thing, they're great. That whole first half is unique and filled with skillful playing and thought-provoking lyricism.
The back half of the album, though... it's mostly a collection of uninteresting, vanilla lyrics over soft, Beatles rip-off tracks. They're not bad, exactly. But they're not great.
Unfortunately, the mediocre tracks absolutely water down the album to an unimpressive 3-star experience.
Minor Threat
4/5
I like Minor Threat. While "Out of Step" isn't one of my most favorite punk albums but it's definitely a mood that I pull for now and again. More importantly, this step into hardcore punk spawned multiple whole subgenres and inspired an absolute TON of hardcore bands that I do love. The scene owes them a debt as does 20-year-old me. That's worth an extra star right there.
DJ Shadow
4/5
This was such an influential album. Without DJ Shadow, the phenomenon that is Lofi Girl and the dozens of other "chill tracks to study to" YouTube imitators wouldn't exist. My studying days are long past but I turn to this kind of jam on a weekly basis to GSD. It's chill but driving, interesting but not distracting. The production quality is so good that my subconscious has something to listen to and I'm not going to get tripped up by anything problematic. Overall, it's just a great album.
UB40
4/5
I think, as Americans, we often think of reggae from anywhere but Jamaica as poser music. But that's an ameri-centric view that's almost offensively dismissive of the Jamaican diaspora's impact on British culture. Reggae and ska (the original stuff, not the Cali-ska, third wave trash from my youth) took root in the UK in a way that they didn't in the US. The diaspora and the music it brought changed the game and created brand-new, uniquely British genres like Jungle, House, Dub and, eventually, Grime. You can feel its impact in UK punk bands even. The Clash's "London Calling" album wouldn't exist without British reggae.
Anyway, all that to say, I don't have a problem with a bunch of lads from Birmingham making reggae. Especially when it's this good. Does it have the raw edge of Marley's reggae? No. But, then again, comparing every reggae album to Marley seems a bit unfair. The songs are excellently composed, well-performed, and the recordings are damn near immaculate. The lyrics are thoughtful and thought-provoking. I wish there was about 60% less saxophone but I'll let it slide this time because it's just part of the genre.
Overall, a pretty great album.
George Michael
3/5
Well, it's a solid pop album of the era, I suppose. Not a whole lot to recommend it but also not a whole lot to complain about aside from it being a pop album of the era. Not much more to say about it. It's just... okay.
Big Brother & The Holding Company
5/5
I'm struggling to find words for how much I enjoyed this album. I really didn't expect much from it which is why I was caught off guard, I guess.
I forgot that Janis Joplin used to front this band. Joplin was an absolute powerhouse of a presence, though. She was one of those singers who never holds back and just leaves everything on the stage. And the rest of the band ain't slouches either.
Overall, an utterly riveting performance from top to bottom. Super great. Instant repeat. Saved to listen to later again and again.
Metallica
4/5
I'm not going to let the neckbeards who love Metallica but hate this album ruin it for me. I'm also not going to let the self-righteous, skinny-jean, hardcore kids ruin it either. It's a good album.
These songs are objectively great. That's why these tracks have been covered over and over ad nauseam in a dozen different genres. It's also why you know almost all of them even though you've never owned a single Metallica album. These songs just work.
Is Metallica a band of utter douchebags? Sure. But that's not enough to negate good songs. If it were, there'd be no Rolling Stones, Beatles, Fleetwood Mac, Prince, The Smiths, or Oasis on the list. And there would definitely be no damn Kanye on here.
Screw the haters, it's a good album. Deal with it.
Jamiroquai
2/5
Oof. Jamiroquai is definitely one of those "best in small doses" artist. There's a funk here that's tasty but just too much at an album-level dose. Also, quit it with the scat vocals. Just stop.
M.I.A.
4/5
Man, I was not on board for the monotony that was "Bamboo Banga" but, once I got past that drudge, the album seemed to pick up. Maybe the problem was me and I just needed to surrender to the hypnotic vibe. Whatever the issue, by track 3 I was entranced.
Overall, it's a beguiling and compelling expression of energy and aggression tempered with beauty and passion. It's good but, when I tried to listen critically, I tended to get a bit annoyed. When I stopped trying to judge it and just let it wash over me, I fell back into the trance and ended up enjoying it WAY more than I feel like I should.
I don't know how to score that, honestly. I'm giving it a 4 because, despite myself, I liked it and feel like I've been stretched and grown by it.
Solange
2/5
So incredibly boring. Which is a shame, really, because the lyrical content is so good. But everything else - the performances, production, and composition - are just so bland. In fact, the lyrics were delivered in such a soul-suckingly boring manner that I found it actively difficult to even pay attention to them. They just slid in one ear and out the other. Talk about diluting your message, sheesh.
Joni Mitchell
2/5
Well, it's better than her later albums, I guess. But she's a much better poet than she is a singer. And a better singer than she is a melody-writer. I don't know why she seems to hate writing choruses so much. Most of the songs are just unstructured messes that never go anywhere.
There's a story that Mitchell herself tells about Bob Dylan falling asleep when she played the album for him. It's funny but it's also understandable. It's a boring slog of an album. I would much rather have read these songs as poems than be forced to listen to Mitchell's wandering warble for an hour.
Curtis Mayfield
3/5
Holy crap with the falsetto, dude. Just quit it.
I feel as though I'm forced to give this album a 3 and I'm mad about it. The music is just SO good. But the vocals are just SO awful. Not BAD, per se. Just extremely unenjoyable to the point where I was angry at Curtis by the time the (thankfully very short) album was over. What's wrong with having a chorus in your songs? Or maybe just a hook? I'm so tired of these meandering, no-melody vocals from the 70s.
But the music! It's cosmically fantastic. And the lyrics are also just so good. Which means that, even as bad as the vocals are, I can't give this lower than a 3-star review. Even though I want to because dammit with that falsetto.
Genesis
3/5
For a hot minute, I thought this might be a hard 4-star or maybe even a 5-star review. It started out so strong. But then it devolved into self-indulgent chaos and I stopped caring before moving into active annoyance. That's not what you want, guys. You don't want your audience to be actively annoyed at you for wanking around on your instruments. Just keep laying down monster prog tracks and everyone will be happy.
As it is, I can't bring myself to give this any more than 3 stars. Sorry, Mr. Collins.
Ian Dury
1/5
What the actual hell. This is awful. Like, legitimately terrible. Utter trash. Zero redeeming qualities. What a waste of time.
Willie Nelson
5/5
Even if you're not a country fan (and I'm most definitely not), it's hard to deny Willie his due. The man is a great songwriter and a legendary performer.
This super stripped down album really showcases the emotional range of his voice and I couldn't be more here for it. Which is REALLY surprising given my aforementioned dislike for the genre. Great album.
Astor Piazzolla
2/5
I can't give this a one-star review because the talent of Mr. Piazzolla and his companions is undeniable. But I also can't give it any higher than a two-star review because it was also completely unenjoyable. I can't imagine any reason why I'd want to listen to an hour of elevator music. Hard pass.
Bruce Springsteen
2/5
Ah, yes. The the undisputed Boss Boomer, the King of Mumbles, himself. This album, as expected, is a collection of glorified blue-collar myths directly targeted at a white-collar middle class audience who wants to feel just a little (not too much, mind you) like a rebel. We're talking jean jackets, not leather. We wouldn't want to go too far.
Springsteen's "Born to Run" is a very clever bit of marketing and storytelling... as long as you're looking at it from the right perspective. Like those clever street artists that create photo-realistic sidewalk murals that make it seem like the concrete has cracked away to reveal a fantastical world beneath when you stand in just the right place. But if you take two steps to the left or right, the perspective breaks and the mural is revealed for what it is: a two-dimensional illusion. Just like the murals, if you're not standing in just the right place, Bruce Springsteen's blue-collar mythos is revealed for what it is. A two-dimensional illusion.
I'm several steps to the left of boomer so all I see is the fake.
Linkin Park
4/5
I have a lot more appreciation for this in my 40s than I did in my 20s. The guitars are so massive and the mixing is incredible.
But I still just can't with these lyrics. They were always the thing that turned me off of Linkin Park and that hasn't changed. So, while I enjoyed the album way more than I expected to, it still gets docked a star because of whiny emo bullshit.
Life hurts. It's a universal condition. Suck it up and carry on.
Fleet Foxes
4/5
I enjoyed this one though it did grow a bit boring and repetitive by the end. For the first half, however, it was beautiful, innovative, and delightful.
Hard to fault it for just giving us more of the same, good thing. But I'm gonna do it anyway. It's not a five-star album but it is a strong four-stars.
Robbie Williams
2/5
Nah, mate. The songwriting is boring and the performances are lazy. I can only imagine this dude is even a thing because the ladies think he's right fit. There are too many great bands from the UK for me to believe that the Brits like their music as boring as their food. And this is bland as hell. Hard pass.
Madonna
4/5
Hey, her voice definitely got better in the 10-year gap between this and "Like A Prayer" so that's nice.
I didn't hate this. In fact, I... I think I kind of liked it. I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you! The vibe here is solid. An hour is too much, though. It definitely wore me out by the end but it's still super solid overall.
Dusty Springfield
2/5
I mean, she's got a great voice and all but it's still cheesy AF. Why did everything Dusty Springfield produce feel about 10 years behind the times? This was released in '69, for goodness sakes. It was a monster year of absolutely game-changing releases... but here we have Dusty, singing songs that belong in the previous decade.
How this made it on the list, I don't know. It can't compare to "Abbey Road", "Nashville Skyline", "Tommy", "Led Zeppelin II", "The Stooges", or "In A Silent Way". It's just not even in the same weight class. And, for the record, I prefer Aretha's "Son Of A Preacher Man" to this one hands down, any day.
Franz Ferdinand
4/5
I'm here for Franz. I love the attitude, energy, and intelligence of this self-titled album so much. Sure, it strays into silly areas at times but always with a tongue-in-cheek self-awareness that gives the listener the impression that Franz is giving them a cheeky wink as he does so. And he always brings it back around before it becomes annoying.
It's also really hard to argue against tracks like "Take Me Out", "The Dark Of The Matinee", and "This Fire" - they're just so good.
Is it a perfect album? No, not really. It's rough and, at times, that roughness is unpleasant. Some of the lyrics are... immature. In content and execution. But it's not enough to sink the album. It's barely enough to keep it from full marks. A very strong 4-star offering, for sure.
Mj Cole
2/5
Well, I didn't actively hate it so I can't give it one star... but I DID actively DISLIKE it so it's not getting more than two from me.
The main problem is that it seems willfully lacking in self-awareness. It feels as though Mr. Cole is purposefully looking away from his influences and is unwilling to acknowledge the boundaries that he's trampling on. Everything he puts out here he presents with a totally straight face. He wants this taken seriously which is a problem because much of it is really very cheesy and silly.
And it seems that even the listening public agreed as it only reached #14 in the UK. Why THIS, of all the UK Garage albums, merits inclusion in the list is beyond me.
Os Mutantes
2/5
Look, I'm ready to admit that maybe I just don't get what they're trying to accomplish here. But, as far as I can tell, these folks listened to some Beatles and were like, "Man, I dig that song about the circus. Let's do that but with samba whistles!" It's not good. It's not fun. It's just derivative and poorly executed. I'm giving it an extra "benefit of the doubt" star because, like I said, there's a chance I just don't get it.
Beach House
3/5
"Dream Pop" might be one of the most pretentious genres ever. Seeing that this was dream pop, I was ready to hate this. But, lucky for me, I didn't hate it. In fact, it was kinda nice...
Until about half-way through when I got real sick of everything sounding the same and never picking up. In small doses, I think I could dig this. As a whole album, it's soporific. Which I guess was in the name so I can't say I wasn't warned.
Anyway, I didn't hate it but I also couldn't take a whole album of it so it gets a middling score.
Eels
2/5
This feels like a student attempt at performance art. It's extremely amateur and basic both musically and lyrically. Plays like a highschool kid who's really into Cake trying to make something "real" in his basement because nobody will be in a band with him. Did not enjoy.
Michael Jackson
3/5
I mean, the hits are the hits and you can't really argue with them. But the deep cuts are forgotten for a reason. They're not great. They're not even good, really. You might even say they're... Bad.
But the album, as a whole, isn't bad. I mean, it's "Bad" but it's not bad... You know what I'm saying.
Santana
5/5
I forgot what an incredible album this is. Santana plays with so much touch and restraint that you can't help but be drawn into the songs. It's not just him, either. The whole band seems dedicated to the concept of "less is more." Gregg Rolie, in particular, lays down some insanely tasty organ parts that just MAKE the album.
These musicians, to a man, make their chosen instruments sing to the point where the instrumental tracks are every bit as compelling as those with vocals. You can't help but follow along with the solos just like you would a singer's lyrics. It's masterful and I loved every minute of it. It was an instant repeat 5-star album for me.
Van Halen
3/5
Oof. The 80s vibes are off the charts here and those synths need to chill TF out. There are some real duds here if we're being honest. The hits are fun, though. Hard to argue with "Jump" and "Panama" being hits for a reason. But, man... "Top Jimmy" and "Girl Gone Bad" are every bit as bad as the hits are good. It all evens out in the stonewash, I guess.
Cee Lo Green
2/5
I wanted to like this more than I did. There's an aggressiveness here that's attractive and that one doesn't generally find in neo-soul. But it's kind of ruined by Cee Lo trying really hard to come off hard. Unfortunately, he just comes off hella fake. And, while he's an accomplished vocalist, his weird, wailing falsetto starts to grate on the nerves after only a few songs.
Like I said, I wanted to like this more than I did. But I just can't give it a passing score. It's too often annoying and I wanted it to be over long before it was.
The Birthday Party
1/5
I usually cut punk and punk-adjacent albums some slack because there's a certain... aesthetic baked into the genre that is intentionally counter-intuitive.
But this was just crap.
Most of the time, it felt like the vocals and music were recorded completely independent of each other and mashed together in the studio by Frankenstein the audio engineer. I mean, nothing matched. Vocal verses overlapped musical choruses and half the time, the singer wasn't even singing in the same key. Who even is this singer? Oh. It's Nick Cave. Of course it is.
Well, like most Nick Cave projects, this is just a really trash album that nobody needs to listen to. What a waste of time.
Van Morrison
2/5
Here's a bit of songwriting advice: if you don't write a chorus or ever repeat a melodic line, your songs are going to be forgettable because there's nothing for the memory to snag on and hold on to.
And that's where this album suffers. There are no hooks, melodies, choruses, or structure of any kind. You can't whistle any of these songs. You can't sing along. There's nothing memorable about any of them other than they just kinda sound like a Morrison track.
This was a thing during this time period and it bugs me. The sheer arrogance of Morrison and his ilk putting out songs like this is daunting. They legitimately believed that people would flock to record stores to buy an album that's just an hour of tuneless wailing just because... because why? Because they have unique voices? Because the words might be well put together? I don't know but I'm not here for it.
Milton Nascimento
3/5
I guess I just don't get it. The musicianship is clearly tops and dude has a great voice but the vibe just completely missed me. I didn't enjoy the super-soft (but periodically dance-hall?) feel of the album. I'm giving it a middling grade because everyone on this album clearly knows their stuff and I really think I'm just missing something here.
Sinead O'Connor
2/5
It's a bit pretentious for what boils down to a basic, ho-hum pop album isn't it? Was going to give it a middling 3-star review but the sheer cheek of Sinéad acting like a protest artist but then putting out bland, generic pop took off another star.
Leonard Cohen
4/5
It was a perfect morning for this album. Overcast and cool, the fog drifted through the trees, muffling the sound of traffic and laying a soft blanket of grey across the world. The conditions couldn't have been better for listening to "Songs of Love and Hate".
And yet...
I still can't get away from the feeling that any of these songs would be 100x better if they were performed by someone other than Leonard Cohen. Anyone else. The man is a songwriting genius. He has penned some of the most lovely songs ever here. But he's kind of awful at actually performing the things.
I can't give it full marks but I also can't give it less than 4 stars. The songs are just so good.
Dinosaur Jr.
3/5
It's just boring. There's nothing here that stands out or makes a case for its inclusion in the list. Just... meh.
Adele
4/5
Man, this album comes off the ropes swinging with a couple of absolute haymakers. It quickly calms down into a beautiful ode to unrequited and lost love. Are they all hits? Nah. It honestly starts to wear a bit but Adele's voice is so great and her delivery so passionate that the energy carries right through the sleeper tracks and back into the good stuff.
Overall, a really great album. If I could give it 4.5 stars, I would.
10cc
3/5
I expected to hate this but I didn't. That's worth a star, I guess. Unfortunately, there's not much else to say about this one. There's a reason it didn't really chart in the US. The song "Worst Band in the World" was funny, though.
Alice In Chains
5/5
This is my favorite flavor of 90s metal. The music is massive. Super crunchy. And Cantrell's solos are face-meltingly good. Add to that lyrics that are self-aware and intelligent and it's hard to find anything to fault.
Yes, I know that the vocals are polarizing. They don't bother me in the slightest, however. Especially given the fantastic harmonies at play here. These ain't your usual 3rd-step harmonies. These vocal lines were clearly written by folks who understood how to construct complex melody lines.
And I just can't get past the sheer intelligence of the songwriting. There's not a dumb song in here. Every one of them deals with serious stuff and does so with a poeticism, awareness, and maturity that just adds to the gravitas. I thought it was brilliant. Immediately listened to it twice through.
Country Joe & The Fish
3/5
It's fine. Nothing remarkable but nothing offensive. Just... fine.
David Bowie
5/5
That was definitely a different experience than older records but, at the same time, felt comfortingly familiar. And yet, it's still pushing boundaries and challenging expectations for a new Bowie album. It's got a delightfully dark vibe like early, Berlin-era Bowie but it's so much more mature both in writing and performance.
"The Next Day" feels like what it is: the return of a master to his chosen art form. It's Bowie coming out of retirement to show the young guns how it's done. I'm trying not to come off as a total Bowie fanboy because I'm not but I've got nothing bad to say about it at all. It's just really good.
Bob Dylan
5/5
Such a strong album. Beautifully written, beautifully performed, beautifully engineered. Even Dylan's notoriously less-than-awesome voice is maybe at its best here.
The lyrics are, as always, utterly fantastic. Heart-felt and self-aware, Dylan writes stories that draw you in and tie you up with pathos. Then he wraps the whole thing up with gorgeous, entrancing music. The acoustic work here is just great and Rabinowitz & Martinson knocked it out of the park with the engineering. There's so much going on in the mix but there's room for everything to move and breathe thanks to some very smart panning and EQ choices.
It's a pleasure to listen to from top to bottom. Full marks, no reservations.
Dr. John
3/5
I mean, it's a Dr. John joint. It's gonna be weird. And it was.
I always enjoy Dr. John for a song or two and then I'm ready for something a little more structured.
I'm glad this album was short. It made it more digestible.
Bill Evans Trio
2/5
Geeze, I didn't know jazz could get this boring. I mean, I'm sure they're great players and all but what a waste of time and talent. Pure elevator, no backbone.
Arcade Fire
4/5
I'm going to go ahead and give this one a 4 but I've got to be honest... I'm not sure why.
I... mostly enjoyed this? But I also found myself rolling my eyes at it on more than one occasion. It's alternately beautiful and gaudy. Grand and excessive. It's too much and just right in turns.
At the end of the album, I have to say I enjoyed it. But I don't know that I loved it. I might have to give this one another go at a later date...
Radiohead
4/5
This was good. But it wasn't mind blowing by any stretch. There were some amazing riffs here but I never got past the impression that Radiohead is super proud of themselves. This album is pretentious. But it is also pretty good and I can't argue with the musicianship.
Depeche Mode
4/5
I guess I never realized that Depeche Mode was so gothy. Sure, it's still blippy-bloopy 80s synthpop. But it had a legit dark edge to it that I didn't hate.
Overall, a much better experience than I expected. I guess I was in the mood for some doomcookies.
Björk
1/5
Ugh. Bjork. I cannot fathom what the draw here is. There's no structure to any of these songs. They're just weird for the sake of being weird.
And her warbling baby-talk voice is literally maddening. Hate it so much. In fact, I hated everything about this experience. Everything.
Zero stars isn't an option, so one will have to do.
The Prodigy
4/5
I mean, it's good GSD background music but, if you take the effort to actively listen, it gets pretty old pretty fast. Very repetitive.
But what they're doing here is cutting edge and really novel for the time and I really did enjoy it for the most part. I'm feeling generous so this one gets 4 stars from me.
Saint Etienne
2/5
I don't know, man. All of these European eletrcopop artists are starting to blur together. I'd be hard pressed to tell you the difference between Saint Etienne and Air or Massive Attack. The main difference seems to be the film samples and that's not a positive differentiator. In fact, those stupid samples take this from a "meh" 3 stars to a "nah" 2 stars.
Donovan
3/5
It's just another "sounds-like-the-Beatles-but-not-as-good" album. It was alright, I guess.
Meat Loaf
4/5
It's like Queen looked at Springsteen and said, "That's all you got? Lad, let me show you how it's done." It's got every bit of theatricality and epic operaness of a Queen album but with the weird, americana-esque feel of Springsteen and just a little... offness that's pure Meat Loaf. It feels like a parody and a tribute at the same time. It's stupid how good this is. It's just huge.
Taylor Swift
5/5
Well hell, boys. Haters gonna hate but damn the girl can write. Sure it's all heartbreaker/breakup/broken heart songs but there's not a stinker on here. Every song slaps.
Every. Single. Song. Slaps.
And that's something to celebrate. How many albums can that be said about? Not too damn many.
Radiohead
4/5
Man, this is just such a pretentious album. I mean, it's just so up its own butthole I'm certain it can see its tonsils. But Radiohead seems have the skills to back it up, so I guess they get a bit of a pass?
I can't say I enjoyed this so much as I appreciated it. But I really did appreciate it quite a bit. There's a lot of skill, dedication, attention to detail, and hard work on display here and that's worth several stars from me. I just wished it was a more enjoyable listening experience. It drags on so long that, by the end, I was just ready for it to be done. My ears were tired.
I can't give it a 5 but "OK Computer" has earned every bit of the 4 stars I am willing to award it.
The Velvet Underground
4/5
This is one of my favorite Velvet albums. It's stacked with fun tracks and formed one of the pillars of the pre-punk movement. It's anti-establishment and counter-culture and lovely most of the time. This album has some of the biggest Velvet hits on it: "I'm Waiting For The Man", "Run Run Run", "All Tomorrow's Parties", "There She Goes Again"... it's just stacked with great Velvet jams.
One of the most shocking things about this album is the fact that it came out in '67. That's the same year that Hendrix dropped "Are You Experienced" and Beatles dropped "Sgt. Pepper's" and The Doors and The Grateful Dead dropped their self-titled albums. This album stands in stark contrast to all of those. It doesn't feel like it shares any DNA with any of its contemporaries. In fact, it feels like it belongs a decade or more in the future in the punk movement. It's remarkable in how much it stands out.
I don't know. A lot of folks hate on the Velvets for a lot of reasons. Many of which are not wrong. But they're also not right. Velvets did their own thing and they did it well and with passion and I love 'em for it. It's not supposed to feel good. It's supposed to feel strong. Mission accomplished.
The Who
4/5
I started this album with a lot of skepticism but ended up liking it overall. The genre mashing is over the top and the production is really grungy and gritty in all the right ways. It's got a strong vibe and it turns out I'm here for it.
Is it all good? Naw. It's a debut album. Of course it's got duds (I'm looking at you "La-La-La Lies") but they're overshadowed by songs like "The Good's Gone", "My Generation", and "The Kids are Alright". The last track, "The Ox" is an instrumental exclamation point on the vibe of the whole album. It's wild, rough, and wonderfully energetic. It's a perfect end to an album and took this from a 3-star to a 4-star album for me.
Common
2/5
Hey, bro. How you gonna drop a track all about respecting a woman and then, in the very next track, talk about b!%*#es and chasing p^$$y? Explain to me how that works again.
Oh, right. It doesn't. It's pretty-boy wannabe rapper bullshit and it didn't age well.
The only reason this doesn't score a single star is because the tracks are undeniably good (thanks, Questlove) and because it starts with a pretty decent tribute to Fela Kuti (who was an absolute legend).
Little Simz
3/5
I don't really know what to score this. Listening to this album felt like being in an emotionally abusive relationship. I found myself rapidly oscillating between LOVING what I was hearing and then HATING what I was being forced to endure and then bouncing right back... and back again. Often several times in a single track. It was exhausting, honestly.
Ultimately, that's why I'm giving this one a middling score. There are spots of absolute brilliance in here but they're buried by the stuff that just isn't very good. I have to work so hard to enjoy the album and, at the end of the day, I just didn't have the energy for it.
The Stooges
4/5
I am on record as an unabashed Iggy Pop fan so it's no surprise that I enjoyed this one. It's fun, raw, and full of energy and attitude while still displaying a significant amount of actual musicality. It's clear that The Stooges got chops.
That said, it has its problems. For one, the production quality is wildly inconsistent from track to track. for two, there's a startling (and I mean STARTLING) amount of saxophone that shows up on the back half of the album. And don't get me started on that last track. I mean, what the hell? Drugs are a hell of a thing, I guess.
Even with all of that, it was still a good enough album to earn four stars from me. What can I say? I'm a sucker for this.
Gotan Project
3/5
Repetitive and unchallenging. Solid background music but nothing more.
Chicago
2/5
Chicago's over-the-top, big band, lounge lizard vibe is definitely a jam... For somebody. Just not for me.
I just can't with the big Boomer energy that drips off of this album. It doesn't feel good, it doesn't sound good... it doesn't do me any good. It feels like what it is. Namely, an expression of an era of extreme excess. The arrangements here feel almost gluttonous they're so thick and over the top.
The only reason this doesn't get failing marks from me is because clearly this is a group of musicians that know their stuff. Like, these are great musicians. There's no way to argue with that.
Bob Dylan
5/5
It's a beast of an album. Is it the best Dylan? Nah. But picking the "best" Bob Dylan record is an exercise in splitting hairs. It doesn't matter. Just call it what it is: a damn good record.
Parliament
5/5
It just does not get funkier than this. It is the dankest of funk. It is physically impossible to funk harder than this.
I loved every single second of it and went back for more. Full marks.
Neneh Cherry
1/5
Dated on release, this album definitely didn't stand the test of time. The samples are tired, the flow is weak, and the lyrics are a disjointed mess. It's pop trying to pass itself off as "edgy" by co-opting hip-hop but can't seem to actually pull it off. It wasn't good in '89 and it's not good now.
Elliott Smith
2/5
Eh. This does nothing. And I don't mean that as in, "this album does nothing for me." I mean it as in, "this rock just sits there doing nothing." The songs go nowhere and the music is utterly devoid of energy.
I'm giving Elliott a benefit-of-the-doubt star because I can see glimmers of talent poking up through this cardboard cut-out imitation of an album.
Amy Winehouse
3/5
I'm going to try to compliment sandwich this thing...
Amy Winehouse obviously decided to do her own thing here and cut a new path through the forest. It's markedly different from just about anything else out at the time. And that's legitimately admirable. I can appreciate that.
But dammit, find a bloody chorus once in a while. Maybe - and I know this sounds crazy - but MAYBE write a damn melody to a song or two. This wandering, unhinged vocalist schtick was lame back in the 70s. We don't need to bring that part back along with your fauxstalgic imitation doo-wop sound. Also, these lyrics are REALLY shallow when they're not downright childish. I know that's not the case in her later albums so at least she got better but, dang, these lyrics are awful.
She sure does have a killer voice, though. And I do love the sheer guts and devil-may-care attitude she poured out all over this album. I think THAT, not the music, is what pushed her so strongly into the spotlight. And rightly so. The attitude of this album is legitimately compelling and the main reason this album earned the three stars I'm giving it.
Peter Tosh
2/5
It's an alright reggae album, I suppose. But where his old mate Marley was talking about race and inequality and politics, Tosh was ranting about... weed? Seems a bit shallow in comparison, doesn't it? Isn't there something a bit more pressing you could be talking about?
I assumed I was missing some sort of cultural cues here so I listened closely... and found very little to convince me that there was something more going on here.
There's a short conversation here about police brutality but, rather than face that head on, Tosh chooses to focus on the legalization of weed as the solution. Why not actually talk about systemic violence which is the real problem?
In many ways, it's a great reggae album. The music is more approachable and enjoyable than most. It's just really solid reggae. The lyrics are just shallow and lame. What a shame.
Paul Revere & The Raiders
2/5
I had trouble figuring out what kind of band this was. Which is probably fair given that the band themselves didn't know what kind of band they were.
The tracks jump back and forth from genre to genre like the frog in Frogger dodging traffic. And, just like that frog, most of these attempts didn't quite manage to make it across the road.
Janis Joplin
4/5
Holy crap, what a performer. Certified legend status. It's a damn shame she died so young. I can only imagine how unbelievable she would have become given more time.
Goldfrapp
4/5
I don't know if I was just in a mood today or what but this hit just right. It's beautifully recorded, the vocals are for the most part delightful, and there's an intriguing aesthetic at play here with mostly traditional arrangements balanced with elements pulled directly from dance electronica.
It's pretty dang good. The only reason that it doesn't get full marks is that it gets SUPER navel-gazey at times and I know, in a different mood, that'd piss me right off. But today? Today it worked.
Jeff Buckley
3/5
I can see why people wax philosophical about Jeff Buckley but I just can't get on board. By the end of the album, I just felt like the listening experience had been a pointless exercise.
In the interest of fairness, I'll admit that the musicianship is out of this world. Truly stellar. Mind-blowing at times, even. But Buckley's vocals are frustratingly lazy. Not that he's a bad singer, mind you. He just seems completely averse to actual melody lines or hooks. The wandering, off-the-cuff singing does exactly nothing for me.
I know writing killer melody lines is hard but that doesn't mean you get to skip it.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
2/5
I cannot comprehend the critical fascination with Elvis Costello. He's a hack and everything he puts his hands to is garbage. This album is no exception. It's a terrible album by a terrible artist. I mean, why would I want to listen to this poser wail on and on about his sexual frustration for 45 minutes? Oh, right. I don't. It's garbage and I hate that I had to listen to it.
It's saved from truly failing marks only because this project has shown me that there are some TRULY horrible albums out there. This one isn't actually painful to listen to. It just sucks.
Alice Cooper
4/5
That's just really fun. Sure, it's got a bit of an "oogie-boogie, I'm so scary" vibe but it was the 70s and shock rock was A) all the rage and B) not all that shocking in retrospect. For all that, Cooper is a great performer and this was a lot of fun.
Buck Owens
1/5
Nope. Nope. Hell no. No.
Why does this exist? Why, even though it exists, is it on this list? It feels like a parody album but it's for real and that just makes the whole experience so sad.
I got nothing here. This is terrible.
Robert Wyatt
1/5
OMG, what is this garbage?! Is this a joke?! Why is this on the list?! What does this even EXIST?!?!
Utter trash. Doesn't even deserve one star.
Stevie Wonder
4/5
It's a definite vibe but none of the tracks really stuck with me. It's just kind of a smear of slightly funky R&B with wild, wonderful vocals liberally slathered on top. It's good, don't get me wrong. But it's not great.
I was all set to give this a middling 3-star review until I hit "They Won't Go When I Go" and... well, that's a pretty good track. It's worth a star.
Ozomatli
4/5
Man, that was way more fun than expected. The musicianship is top-notch, the songwriting is lighthearted but still significant, and the recording quality is legit. I don't know, I really enjoyed it and added several tracks to my personal playlists.
The Shamen
1/5
I mean... no. It's not good. In fact, it's actively bad.
I don't know why almost every Scottish band on this list sounds like they're 5-10 years behind the times in terms of music trends but The Shamen are no exception. Maybe it just takes that long for modernization to penetrate the Scottish culture. Whatever the reason, the crappy, blippy-bloopy synths, bad drum machines, and overly dramatic vocals are... well, they're not good.
I tried but was unable to find anything redeeming about this one. Sorry, Scotland.
Britney Spears
2/5
Ok, well. It's not as bad as I remember. I mean it's super over-produced, the lyrics are shallow and inane, and she's kind of terrible at singing. But...
Maybe it's the perspective that this project has given me but, well... it's not Bjork or Devo so I guess it could be worse.
T. Rex
4/5
Well, that was a lot of fun. A bit more scattered than I usually prefer in an album but, somehow, they managed to hold on to a through-line of sorts that made the whole thing still seem (mostly) cohesive.
I loved the energy, the attitude, and the musicality. Just a fun listen.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
This one comes off the ropes swinging with "Immigrant Song" and doesn't stop slapping. Even when it slows down, it feels like it's just trying to lull you into a false sense of security so it can catch you off guard and sucker punch you in the eye.
Tom Waits
1/5
Good grief, no. Just no. Tom Waits is just the damn worst. He tries SO HARD to be "creepy" and just manages "cringey." He just... talks nonsense and calls it art. And people buy his crap for some reason?
On top of the usual Waits nonsense, "Swordfishtrombones" gets an added dose of nope from old Tom's utterly crap production. It's poorly recorded, poorly produced, and poorly performed.
I was going to give this my (now standard) Tom Waits 2-Stars but, as the album went on I realized that it's just utter garbage and doesn't even deserve a "there's good music in here somewhere" extra star.
AC/DC
4/5
AC/DC is so unapologetic about their sheer kickassery. They do their thing and double birds to anyone who doesn't like it. As an aesthetic, I'm here for it.
"Highway to Hell" is as unrelenting as an oncoming train. From the moment the needle drops to the closing chord, it just pushes forward and never stops. It would be exhausting if it wasn't also so good.
I mean, come on. It's AC/DC. You know what you're getting into. And, if that's your jam, "Highway to Hell" delivers on all counts.
Van Halen
4/5
Like most hair metal, it's mostly just soft, fluffy rock with a few shreds thrown in for form's sake. But it sure is fun. I wanted to give it a lower score based on the sheer cheese factor but... but it's just fun, isn't it?
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
2/5
The thing is, this is clearly chock-full of exceptional musicianship. The problem is that it's nearly unlistenable. There's no point in the entire album where I was like, "oh, that's not bad." I kept EXPECTING there to be goodness and joy but there was only frustration and disappointment. What a waste of talent.
The Allman Brothers Band
5/5
The Fillmore East is one of those legendary venues that is, in itself, a member of any band that walks onto its stage. There's an undeniable energy to the place that has a measurable effect on audience and band alike.
While I'm not a big fan of Allman Brothers in general, this album is evidence of that Fillmore effect. The brothers rip out some damn fine electric blues that just pulses with a powerful energy and you can hear it in the audience's response. It's a really great blues jam record and a supremely good live album.
Full marks.
U2
3/5
This album is a bloody mess. Apologies to the fanboys but what even is going on here? There are two good songs and the rest are just wandering, ho-hum pop songs. The driving rock band who made "The Joshua Tree" seems to have gone on vacation and put cardboard stand-ins on stage instead. The songs are simple, the production is over-mixed, and the performances are flat. It only earns 3 stars because "One" and "Mysterious Ways" are so good. Too bad the rest of the album doesn't even come close to the level of those two songs.
Jorge Ben Jor
4/5
I don't understand a lick of Portuguese but dang if it isn't a really sexy language.
Despite not being able to follow along with any of the lyrics, I almost gave this a full five-star rating just because it was SO funky and fun. Really the only thing holding it back from perfection is a matter of personal taste. I can't stand the repetitive hooting and shrieking of samba whistles. I full accept that it's part of the genre but it's also stupidly annoying and I can't abide it.
Siouxsie And The Banshees
4/5
I'm generally here for Siouxie and her Banshees but this album is admittedly a bit of a mess. Despite that, it's a lot of fun. It's just so raw and wild. Compelling. I'm not going to make excuses for the riot grrl. She doesn't need it. She can stand on her own. For my part, I'm just going to bask in the post-punk madness.
The Smiths
3/5
Well, it's definitely the best The Smiths have ever sounded. Not that that's saying much. But this one is actually enjoyable which is a pleasant departure from their norm. You still have to sit through Morrissey's bullshit but, if you grit your teeth and suffer through his vocals, there's a really decent album underneath.
Afrika Bambaataa
1/5
Wow. That's legitimately bad. I get that they were going for a "ground-breaking" and "genre-defining" album experience and maybe they achieved it for the time. But it aged very poorly. To a modern listener it just sounds like amateur hour at the college radio station. None of the songs go anywhere or say anything of note. It's an exceptionally empty and repetitive album.
The White Stripes
4/5
Yeah, I mean. It's good. Is it the best of Jack White's nonsense? Probably not. Is it the worst of Jack White's nonsense? Probably not. But it's a solid, lo-fi rock album with a lot of clever lyrics (and some really stupid lyrics but that's just par for the course for ol' Jackie it seems).
Silver Jews
2/5
It sounds a lot like what it is, I guess. Namely, a joke that they started to take seriously. Consequently, it's a bit of a mess. But it's not altogether unenjoyable for all that. In fact, though there were points where I wanted to hate the album, I found myself just apathetic to it instead. I guess it could be worse but it sure as hell could have been better.
Charles Mingus
2/5
There's jazz and there's Jazz with a capital J. The first is all about a feeling. It's about groove and swagger, rhythm and that magic thing that happens when a group of talented musicians are in the pocket together.
This isn't that type of jazz. This is capital J Jazz. It's discordant and uncomfortable on purpose. The minute they hit a grove, they immediately shy away from it like a horse hitting an electric fence. Mingus is an exceptional musician but it seems as though he was actively working to make this album unenjoyable to the average listener.
Capital J Jazz is so often a form of gatekeeping. It feels like hazing. "If you can't take the pain... if you're not willing to be humiliated... if you don't want it enough to commit the crime... well, you don't belong in the cool kids crowd."
I'm not willing to put up with this nonsense so I guess I'm not cool. I can live with that. And I'll be happy to never have to listen to this again.
James Taylor
4/5
That was just a really good album. James is very talented songwriter and, while I'm not a fan of steel guitar, the performances were pretty great as well.
I kept finding myself wanting to dislike it because it felt a bit cheesy... But I couldn't dislike it. It just has such a nice vibe that it's hard to dislike.
Koffi Olomide
2/5
Absolutely nothing about this did anything for me. It sounds like a "safe for the tourists" soundtrack at a cruiseship bar.
I can't, in good conscience, give it a one-star review because the actual musicianship isn't bad, but I also can't, in good conscience, give it anything more than a two-star review.
The only thing exceptional about this album is how exceptionally soft and boring it was.
The National
3/5
IDK, it was kinda boring? There are some great tracks here but Berninger mostly sounds like he just can't be bothered by these songs. Maybe he thinks it sounds cool? I don't know. I think the guy's listened to too much Morrissey, personally. The music behind the lackluster vocals is solid, though.
This one was hard to rate. I kept going back and forth between "this is pretty good" and completely zoning out because nothing interesting was happening on the track. I'm giving it a 3... but it was almost a 4.
Stevie Wonder
5/5
This is the best Stevie Wonder, hands down. Most Stevie joints fall a little flat to me. He's just so soft and light most of the time. But there's always at least two tracks on every album that just slap. Tracks where Stevie remembers that he's a funky badass.
This album is almost entirely made of those tracks. It's still lighthearted, sure, but it starts funky and it stays funky and fun the whole way through. At an hour 45, it's a beast of an album, too. And I don't care. It's good from start to finish.
Peter Gabriel
3/5
Honestly, since my only exposure to Peter Gabriel was "Sledgehammer", I thought this would be weirder. In fact, as the first few tracks rolled by, I thought to myself, "Man, this is a pretty solid 70s rock album." And then I hit track 4, "Excuse Me" and was like, "Ah. There's the weird." It didn't last that long, though. It feels like he's just sort of playing around with being weird but isn't fully committed to the bit yet.
Overall, this debut solo album is solid but not exceptional. Not great, not bad, just... solidly middling.
James Brown
4/5
That'll preach. It's only in a live album that you can really appreciate the natural-born entertainer that this man is. James Brown's adaptation of the church's call-and-response preaching style feels so... well, natural here. Brown is having a conversation with his audience and they are absolutely speaking back.
This feels more like an important piece of recorded history than an album at times. And, if that's truly what it was, I'd give it a 5-star review without hesitation. But, at the end of the day, it was a piece of entertainment media and must be judged accordingly. It's still utterly fantastic, don't get me wrong. But the recording quality is SO bad it's nearly unlistenable at times and that has to cost it a star.
Neil Young
2/5
Unsurprisingly, I really disliked this album. Unsurprising because it's Neil Young and he's one of, and possibly THE, most overrated artist on this list.
Is this the best Neil Young album? I can't tell you. It sounds exactly like all the rest of the Neil Young albums on this list. It's just cardboard and cheap paint held together with bailing wire. The lyrics swing between privileged complaining and disingenuous preaching and Neil's signature whiney voice is grating from track one. It's pretty damn awful. But the production quality is truly top notch so it scrapes out a 2-star rating. Barely.
MC Solaar
4/5
My french isn't good enough to be able to speak to the lyrical content but the beats and flow, though dated, were really good. There's a chill energy here that is compelling. I enjoyed that a lot more than expected.
XTC
2/5
That's just kind of a mess, isn't it? Why is this held is such high regard? There's not a single track that stands out and the whole album is riddled with random sound effects scattered around the mix like ants crawling around a picnic blanket. What a waste of time.
The War On Drugs
4/5
That's solid. Just... really solid. Good songwriting, excellent performances, great production. Just a really solid album.
k.d. lang
2/5
I mean, it's not the worst album on this list? But I can't honestly say it was good. I found the weird, almost-kinda-country vibe pretty off-putting. But luckily, that's only an occasional annoyance. Unfortunately, when it's not annoying, it's just boring. Just... very bland overall. It's not enough to fail the album as a whole but it's also not enough to give it a pass.
Queen
4/5
Well, it's definitely not the best Queen album but this is when Queen became Queen. Herein lie the roots of one of the greatest bands of all time. I mean it. It's all here. Massive, layered vocals, rock-opera-esque lyrics and composition, Brian May melting faces with his insane guitar work, and (of course) Freddy Mercury absolutely murdering the lead vocals. This really is where it all started to coalesce.
But they're not all "Killer Queen" are they? No, they're not. It doesn't all hit. But even the misses are near misses. A damn fine album and a great hint of things to come.
The Electric Prunes
2/5
"Electric Prunes" sounds like someone put The Beatles, The Beach Boys, and The Rolling Stones into a blender and puree'd them down to something you could sip through a straw. All the bite, all the good meaty bits, all the crunch is gone and you're just left with a weird, mushy meat-slurry of rock and roll. It's not great. Not a great listen at all.
Derek & The Dominos
5/5
I wasn't really awake when I put this album on this morning before hopping in the shower. As the hot water hit me and I started to finally wake up, I thought, "Dang. That sounds like Clapton. I thought it was Derek somebody..." Look, I said I wasn't awake yet.
Yeah, it's Clapton. It's Clapton trying to be less of a cult icon which means it's largely missing the ego and it's just a guy wailing on his guitar like his life depends on it. He's clearly just enjoying making really good music and it's tasty as hell. Later in his career, as a solo artist, Clapton would become pretty cringey but here, at this point in the game, he's just fantastic. Maybe the top of his game. There's a reason he's a legend. And this album is a big part of it.
On top of ALL that, I just enjoyed the hell out of it. No reservations. Full marks.
PJ Harvey
3/5
Much like every time I've encountered PJ Harvey, I was neither impressed nor put off. It's just barely alright enough to be frustrating. There's an edge here that I like but they just... don't quite take it far enough. You're left feeling like every song stops just shy of completion.
Rocket From The Crypt
4/5
I don't know, I really enjoyed this. The opening track was a bit of a turn-off at first but, as I started to listen, I started to really dig the vibe of this whole album. It's irreverent and energetic (maybe even frenetic) but there's still a lot of skill and subtlety hidden inside these tracks. The engineering and mixing, in particular, are pretty spectacular.
Like I said, I don't know. It was just fun.
The La's
4/5
I didn't expect much from this but I just really enjoyed the heck out of it. The production quality is stellar, the songwriting is great, and the performances are full of vim and vigor.
I don't have a solid reason why this is a 4 instead of a 5-star album for me. I guess maybe because there weren't any songs here that stopped in my tracks and go, "oh man, that's a great song!" Seems like a really soft reason to deny it full marks but it just... didn't quite get to that 5-star level.
But damn if it wasn't really close. 4.5 stars easily.
The Clash
5/5
Listen, this was never going to get anything but 5 stars from me. It's "London Calling" for Pete's sake. Everything about this album is everything I love about punk. It's brash, rowdy, irreverent, thoughtful, thought-provoking, and experimental.
It's a top 5 album of all time. Don't even @ me, bro.
Germs
4/5
Listen, I love punk. Like, I REALLY love punk. But this one is rough. It's frantic and aggressive and unrelenting and young Darby sure does want you to work to get past his vocals. That said, the musicianship is really on point. These grooves are just so good.
But here's what I love the most about it: this came out the same year as The Clash's "London Calling" and, though both punk, the two couldn't be more different. While The Clash was playing with adding in jazz, reggae, and pop influences, Germs was like, "how hard can we go before we break something important?" I'm reminded of a quote from the great indie film, "SLC Punk" where Stevo is talking about the UK/US punk debate: "I don't know who started it, and I don't give a shit. The one thing I know is that we did it harder, we did it faster, and we definitely did it with more love baby."
The Germs support the argument. We did it harder.
Gene Clark
4/5
What a surprisingly great album. The songwriting is fantastic but, even more than that, the production values are truly outstanding. It just SOUNDS so GOOD.
Clark said that he listened to a lot of Stevie Wonder and The Rolling Stones when writing this album and it shows in the amount of skillful genre-bending that he's packed into these songs. It's funky, it's rock-and-roll, it's got more than a bit of Americana tossed in... but it never feels forced or weird. It always feels... right.
What an accomplishment. It's shocking to me that it was so panned in its time. "No Other" really is a work of art worthy of its place on this list.
Grateful Dead
3/5
With such a huge catalog to pull from, why is THIS the Grateful Dead album that's on the list? Why even this ERA of Dead? Everyone knows Grateful Dead as the masters of psychedelic acid-rock jam-band music. That's why they're legends. Not because of this weird pseudo-country Americana album.
Ok, rant aside, it's an alright Americana album. The skills are there and the production is legit. It's just... gah. It's so disappointing to be served a Dead album and then have to listen to... this.
5/5
It's really hard to argue against this one. It's just a masterful album. The production is out of this world, of course. But the songwriting and performances are also stellar. Does every track slap? No. But the ones that do? They bang hard enough to more than cover the few that don't. Just a great album.
Liz Phair
2/5
I don't know what to say here. I guess she's pretty angry about some stuff, huh?
This whole thing is very dated. The production is 90s trash, her voice is pretty terrible, and the lyrics are just a single gong banged repeatedly. I appreciate the semi-revolutionary status of the thing but it's just not good.
Sam Cooke
4/5
Man, that's really solid. Sam Cooke sure knew how to work a crowd. Do I wish they'd included a studio album from Cooke? Yes, absolutely. But I think I understand the desire to show off the performer side of Sam. He's truly something else.
ABBA
1/5
There's apparently no such thing as a good Abba album. It's all just trash. "The Visitors" is a solid hour of trash. Thanks for that.
Funkadelic
5/5
This is some of the thickest, stickiest funk ever made. George, Bootsy, and the boys sure know how to get down.
There're no negatives here. It's absolutely funktastic from needle drop to full stop.
3/5
I'm really not sure what to rate this. I didn't dislike it but I'd never listen to it again, given the choice. I guess it's interesting, kinda? It never strays too hard into electronica or samba to get too annoying and the musicianship is solid so there's that...
It's good for what it is. I just don't know that what it is needs to exist.
George Harrison
4/5
This was a tough one. Mostly because George Harrison is a certifiable songwriting genius - one of the greatest that ever lived - and it should have been a slam dunk 5 stars.
Should have been. But there's so much stuff unpacked here. Just... so much. It's too much. There are a ton of great tracks here. So many bangers that, had George been willing to cut even a third of the songs, it would be an unbelievable tour de force. But he couldn't let any of them go and so we're left with two hours of mostly great tracks.
I can't give it a 5 star review. But I can't stand to give it anything short of 4 stars.
Miles Davis
2/5
I know, okay? I know that Miles Davis is jazz royalty. I know that he's, like, the best jazz trumpet player ever or whatever. I get it.
But it's kinda boring, isn't it? Is that what the mean by "cool"? Because it doesn't feel cool. It feels... soft. Especially compared to the OTHER Miles Davis album on the list. "Bitches Brew" is so aggressive and chaotic while maintaining every bit of the sheer musicality that Davis is known for. And yes, I KNOW, okay? I know that there's 13 years between this and that. But THIS is boring while THAT is fascinating.
Maybe we just needed the one Miles Davis album on here, hmm?
The Black Keys
5/5
I mean, where do you even start with this one? It's just freaking great. It feels so familiar even while feeling fresh and new.
The guitar tones, the vocal performances, the lyrics... all just so good. And don't even get me started on how fantastic the mixing is. The choices here are all made in the service of vibe and tone while ego takes a backseat and I'm so, 100% here for it. Just phenomenal.
The Killers
5/5
I thought to myself, "I don't know that I've actually listened to a Killers album before..."
And then I hit play and realized that, while I may have never listened to a Killers album, I KNOW these songs. "Hot Fuss" managed to so thoroughly saturate American culture that I knew the hooks to easily half of the tracks, if not more. And, it turns out, all the other tracks all slapped.
Shockingly good. Zero criticisms.
PJ Harvey
2/5
Why are there so many P.J. Harvey albums on this list? One would have been enough. Two, tops. Instead, we've got four albums of mediocre, warbling, badly-produced nonsense.
If I was being fair, I'd give this 3 stars. But I'm annoyed that I have to listen to yet another P.J. album so it's getting docked an extra star.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
2/5
This is the fifth Elvis Costello album that I've reviewed as part of this project and I still have one to go. Let me just tell you: the fact that I have to listen to another one of these fills me with sadness.
Anyway, this review will be much like the other reviews that I've written for Mr. Costello. He's a hack. He's made all of his money on being a cut-rate, pseudo-nostalgic imitation of great artists from the past. He sells this fauxstalgia to middle-class white America and they eat it up because he also talks about sex which makes him just edgy enough that they are able to feel a little less vanilla. But the lyrics are banal when they're not outright stupid and Costello's performances are lackluster at best.
The only redeeming thing about this album is that The Attractions are actually really great musicians. They're holding this whole thing up by sheer force of talent even as Costello's hackery chops away the supports. I almost gave it a 3 just because the backing band was solid. But they weren't enough to save the album from such an overrated blowhard.
My Bloody Valentine
2/5
Seeing "self produced" on an album description is rarely a good thing and "MBV" is a good example of why. The production is just bloody awful. It's a pile of wailing vocals buried under a muddy mess of instruments. Utterly unintelligible and completely ignorable.
Living Colour
4/5
That's surprisingly good. Like... really good. So many genres thrown in the blender shouldn't work and yet, Living Colour manages to pull it off AND keep up a running dialogue on culture and politics. It's pretty impressive. Enjoyed the heck out of that.
Marianne Faithfull
3/5
Look, I know there was supposed to be an, "I'm not dead yet" comeback album and, because she'd been through some stuff, we should cut her some slack. And, okay, I will cut her some slack but it's still not that great. The songs are just okay and none of them are really grabby. The production is so-so and the vocals... well, that where the slack comes in because they're... a bit rough to put it kindly.
I think this album is mostly notable because of Marianne's story and not because of the music itself. And that's problematic as I'm here to rate albums and not biographies. Best I can do is a slack-filled 3 stars. But I'd watch the biopic on Mrs. Faithful. I'd even pay theater prices to see it.
Jane's Addiction
1/5
Nope. That's not good. I cut vocalists a lot of slack because they've got a real hard job but Perry Farrell can piss right off with that noise. I only got about a track and a half into this before I wanted to start punching things.
Jane's Addiction is a great example of a group of really talented musicians saddled with a real crap frontman. At times, it feels like the rest of the band is trying to hard to match the frantic, whining chaos of Farrell and still managing to fall short because they're just not willing to go that far. And good on them.
"Ritual Do Lo Habitual" is a great alt-metal album ruined by a horrible, one-trick-pony frontman who writes shitty lyrics and then can barely sing them.
Joan Armatrading
4/5
What a wonderful album. Armatrading feels like the unappreciated Tracy Chapman of her generation. These songs are so thoughtfully written and composed, drawing from old musical traditions while still staying current and fresh for the time. Joan's vocal performances are deeply passionate and heartfelt. It's not an album of bangers but there's no duds either. Strong 4, almost a 5.
Fugazi
3/5
Man, back in the day, I knew some dudes (it was always dudes) who were super into Fugazi. Like... REALLY into these guys. I never understood the appeal. They're kind of a mess. Clearly a bunch of talented musicians, for sure. But the music they made is mostly just a mess. None of these tracks are terrible but every track comes up short. I mean, I like it more now than I did back then but that's not really saying much about the band and more about my increased tolerance for nonsense, I think.
Anyway, I'll give it middling marks for putting out something vaguely interesting and then move on to more engaging albums.
The Specials
2/5
Listen, I'm never going to be into ska. It's just not going to happen. The Specials on this album, in particular, embody just about everything that I dislike about the genre. It's silly at best and vapid at worst. There's very little substance here. It's mostly just goofy horns and gang vocals and it gets annoying really fast.
Gorillaz
5/5
This was always going to be a 5. Always.
Gorillaz was so... out there. Just so out there when this album dropped. "Clint Eastwood" blew my mind with its genre bending when I first heard it. I still get a tingle every time I hear that hi-hat hit. And it's not the only banger on this album. In fact, most of the album slaps. I can't listen just once. Gorillaz always gets an instant repeat.
Fatboy Slim
3/5
I expected to enjoy this one a lot more than I actually did. Every track feels so good... until it doesn't. Norman always seems to take his tracks at least one step too far to be 100% enjoyable. For example, about 4 minutes into "Rockafeller Skank" (arguably the biggest hit on this record), there's a sudden, escalating siren of a saw-wave that's a solid 15 seconds of painful noise. And I'm not sure what the point of that is. Because, ostensibly, this is dance music, right? So why does every track seem to have an extended section of completely undanceable noise?
The ONE exception is "Praise You" which is inarguably fantastic. The weird, noisy break on that track is at least short and remains danceable. But, even though "Praise You" is utterly fantastic, it's just not enough to save the album as a whole.
I fully expected to give this 5 stars when I hit play but quickly downgraded it to a 4-star rating. By the time it wrapped, I was so annoyed with Mr. Slim's nonsense that I was forced to remove yet another star from the final score. Just... just quit it with the noisy, undanceable nonsense, man.
Lambchop
2/5
Yeah, man. When your album gets classified as both "alt country" and "chamber pop" you know you've done something wrong.
I can't give this a 1-star review in good conscience because the songwriting and the musicianship are both pretty good. But combine them and, for some reason, the end result is just... it's really bad. And all the falsetto vocals have got to go. They're so bad.
Butthole Surfers
1/5
What an utter piece of shit album. They so clearly wanted to be a shock rock band just SO badly. That was telegraphed sufficiently by both the band and album names. But they failed. It wasn't good enough to be shocking. You have to be able to take something seriously to be shocked by it. I couldn't take this seriously. It was too amateurishly awful. Just a flaccid mess of an album. What a waste of time.
Thundercat
1/5
What a piece of trash album. Who let this nonsense get made? This is Jamiroquai's fault, isn't it? Whoever is responsible for letting Thundercat put this into the world needs a stern talking to.
I mean, it's just so... dumb. Who's jam is this? I don't know but, after listening to this trash, I don't think I want to be friends with someone who's really into Thundercat.
My Bloody Valentine
2/5
Eh. This started out promising but quickly proved to be a complete disappointment. It's mopey and noisy and pretty well pointless. Pass.
Screaming Trees
4/5
Man, I don't know that I've ever heard an album that sounded so much like the year it came out. Everything about "Dust" screams 1996. It's a nearly perfect blend of Soundgarden, U2, Alice in Chains, and Collective Soul. It's kind of wild that I've never heard of them before, honestly. I enjoyed it way more than I should have. Probably going to need to revisit it, in fact.
Leonard Cohen
5/5
Maybe I was just in the right headspace today but I loved every minute of this album. Cohen's writing is utterly brilliant (as usual) but his performance here is maybe his best. He's given up trying to be a singer and, instead, leans into a sort of gravely, melodic, spoken word that just... it just works, man.
And the songs! This is the last album of a man who knows this is going to be his last album. The lyrics are poignant, pointed, and heavy with significance. These are the songs of a brilliant songwriter who has lived a lot of life. They're the songs of a man who can see the end but who doesn't know how to stop doing the thing he loves. The gravitas is palpable and I believe that the world has more depth and character because Mr. Cohen was able to release this one, last album out into it.
Full marks.
Steely Dan
4/5
This is the best Steely Dan. It's fun, funky, and really well produced. My 10-year-old was like, "Dad, what genre IS this? Is it rock or funk?" And, you know, I thought that was a really good question. It's both. And it's pretty damn good.
Jacques Brel
3/5
This one took me all the way back to my childhood. It sounds exactly like being at my grandmother's house. Mr. Brel has an incredible voice and he delivers these songs with a particularly French zeal that I quite enjoyed.
The songs, however, are a mixed bag. Some are great and some are sooo cheesy. No amount of amazing delivery from Mr. Brel is going to save those cheeseball tracks.
The pendulum swung pretty widely for me throughout this album so I think I have to average it out at a three.
The Verve
3/5
Look, I like Oasis so I like this... wait, this isn't Oasis? Oh, I guess it's not.
I really was digging this until about half-way through when it bogged down and the vocals became less "Northern Soul" and more... off-key wail. It just loses all of its energy and vigor and goes flat.
"A Northern Soul" was almost great but, on balance, it's just alright. Oasis did it better and with more guts.
Eagles
4/5
I mean, this is the one, right? This is the Eagles album that made them the favorite band of old white dudes everywhere. It's their first and probably their best.
"Take It Easy", "Witchy Woman", and "Peaceful Easy Feeling" are hard to argue with. Add to that great sleeper tracks like "Take the Devil" and "Most of Us Are Sad" and you've got a pretty good album.
I mean, I'm still not a fan, mind you. As always, Eagles are annoyingly soft rock and every song is a poorly-veiled adolescent sexual innuendo... but the guitar licks are good and there's an energy here that's missing from their later albums so that's worth an extra star.
Soft Cell
1/5
You know, it can't feel so great when your one big hit wasn't actually your song. But then, I'm sure the boys of Soft Cell are crying all the way to the bank with that one because the rest of this album is utter, hot garbage so at least they're making money off of the cover of "Tainted Love".
This really is a truly terrible album. Starting on track 3, ("Seedy Films") the vocals go off the rails, not even trying to be in tune. The lyrics get more and more stupid as it goes and the the actual musical production gets increasingly erratic.
One good song does not an album make and I shouldn't have to listen to the rest of this trash because "Tainted Love" is someone's jam. It's just a damn mess of a record and I'm pissed off I had to listen to it.
Penguin Cafe Orchestra
2/5
I'm unclear as to why this album is one that I needed to listen to before I die. It's a quirky enough (mostly) instrumental album, I suppose. But is it really that impressive? I guess it's avant-garde enough to be annoying so maybe that means it's important to someone?
I see that Brian Eno got his hands on it and things make more sense now. Low 2-stars.
Todd Rundgren
2/5
That's a hard pass for me, man. I get that this inspired a lot of subsequent artists but it's just an utter mess. There's not a complete musical thought on the whole album. It's just a schizoid, drug-addled, frantic mess that's mostly (but, to be fair, not entirely) unenjoyable.
Aerosmith
4/5
I mean, it's just fun, right? The most shocking part of this album is that this was their 4th album and it came out in '76. These guys have been at it for so long. And, by '76, they pretty much knew what they were about because this is just... well, it's just fun. Nothing absolutely bangs here but there are also zero snoozers. Every track rocks and then some. It's probably the hardest album I've heard from Aerosmith and I'm here for it.
Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
2/5
Man, that was rough. An hour and a half of repetitive chanting and wailing in a language I don't understand was... well, it was difficult to get through.
I'm sure, if you're a Sufi adherent and can sing along, this is a jam. I am not and cannot. Ergo, this is not my jam. It was just kinda grueling.
Joan Baez
3/5
When she's crooning, Baez is generally a delight though the carm of her warbling vibrato does wear on the ear after a while.
When she belts it out, however, delight quickly turns to annoyance. Her "strong" songs are as sharp and grating as a saw blade due, primarily, to that vibrato. It's quite unenjoyable. By the end of the album, my ears were exhausted.
The pleasant crooner ballads balance the saw blades, though. So this one earns a nice, average, 3-star rating.
Beck
4/5
Beck's musicianship is just outstanding. And all of the musicians that he surrounded himself with for this album are outstanding. And the songwriting is outstanding.
It's just really not my jam.
Someone give Beck a cup of coffee and a hug already. He really seems like he needs it. "Sea Change" is so damn melancholic. Like... REALLY a downer. Unenjoyably so. Listening to this album feels like sitting next to someone crying on the subway. You don't know them and can't help them so you and everyone else in the car are left to just awkwardly and uncomfortably witness someone else's public grief.
It's rare that I listen to an album and think, "dang, that's really good and I REALLY don't like it" but "Sea Change" is one such album. It for sure isn't my vibe but the quality of songwriting and performance just can't be denied.
Tim Buckley
4/5
Well, it's probably the best Buckley joint I've heard so far. It's far better than his kid Jeff's work, that's for sure. It's a little slow to pick up but, when it jams, it jams. There are some definitively cringey lyrical choices on display but, overall, it was mostly enjoyable.
Deep Purple
3/5
It's alright. I like Deep Purple but this one was a bit challenging. There was an inordinate amount of sudden-onset screeching that was deeply unpleasant and a lot of vocals that, had this not been a live album, would have absolutely been retracked. I mean, there's some just gnasty out-of-tune vocals here.
It's not their best showing, TBH. Not sure why this one's on the list.
Blood, Sweat & Tears
3/5
This one's a bit of a mess but enjoyable overall, I think. It sure seems like the band wasn't sure what kind of band they wanted to be so the album bounces from genre to genre, never settling into a groove. Is it rock? Is it proto-disco? Is it pre-funk? Is it big band? Is it lounge-lizard soft pop? I really couldn't tell you.
There are a few bright spots. Jim Fielder, the bassist does some serious work on this whole album. That fella is a BEAST and single-handedly carries several of these tracks. And, obviously, "Spinning Wheel" is a jam. But it's also the single most coherent track on the album. Which is saying something because that song is kinda wild.
Unfortunately, there aren't enough bright spots to tip the scales into a positive score. I have to dock the album a star for the weird instrumental tracks that really don't fit. Had "Variations on a Theme" and "Blues, Pt. 2" been omitted from the album, it would have felt so much more cohesive. But they're there. And they're awful. And so "Blood, Sweat, & Tears" earns a middle-of-the-road 3 stars.
The Rolling Stones
4/5
It's a really fun album. There aren't a whole lot of classic bangers on it but everything just feels good, you know? The whole thing is a jam.
But it's too long. Long enough that the jam starts to wear on you and you start thinking about what you're going to listen to next. And I hate that because this is a really good album and, had it been 4 tracks lighter, it would have left me a little sad that it was over.
Almost a 5 but, sadly, it's just a 4.
Serge Gainsbourg
3/5
While the subject matter is pretty disgusting, the delivery method is, on the whole, pretty tasty.
But lyrics are important, even if they're not in my primary language, and I can't give these anything more than 3 stars.
Stop letching on kids, you damn creep. Gross.
Motörhead
2/5
It's just 12 variations of the same song. Granted, that song is "Ace of Spades" but, even at a relatively short 36 minutes, it wears on you.
Joy Division
2/5
Ian Curtis's voice is really annoying on this album. Like, "immediately lose two stars, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars" annoying. I know that sounds petty but I just REALLY hate it.
This album was released only a year after "Unknown Pleasures" but, in the intervening year, they stripped every last bit of punk from their sound and all that's left is a grumpy, depressed, mishmash of musical ideas overlaid with thick, tuneless vocal mumbling.
Did I mention that I hate Ian Curtis's vocals on this album? Because I hate them. So much. Good grief.
Blue Cheer
4/5
That was a jam and I enjoyed the hell out of it. This is often cited as the first metal album and it's not wrong. It's proto-metal but all of the things that I love about metal are here. It's chunky and shreddy and fully off the leash and I really liked it.
The only reason this doesn't get full marks is because the recording is an utter mess. It's just... so poorly produced. I suppose that can be forgiven to some extent since, at this point, nobody had ever recorded a metal album so nobody knew how. But it's still a real mess and I just can't quite give it 5 stars.
Antony and the Johnsons
3/5
Well, it grew on me a bit as I listened. But dude's singing style is... well, it's really challenging. The constant vibrato and the weird affected timbre are really hard to get past. If you can, there's some great songwriting and music underneath. Unfortunately, the vocals are really hot in the mix so the most unpleasant part of the album is right in your face at all times. Shame.
There's something here, to be sure. But I don't understand the ecstatic gushing this received from the critics. It's just not that great. It's not even all that close to great. It's only good if you manage to ignore the vocals. But the vocals are the thing in the spotlight so they're really hard to ignore. Again: it's a shame.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
3/5
It's not quite as bad as most Elvis Costello joints but it's still pretty plastic. I think The Attractions are doing a lot of work here, pulling back Costello's cheesiness and laying down some legit music.
All in all, I give it a middling score. I've listened to later albums and this is not as bad as I know it could be.
New Order
1/5
Crappy, shallow, Casio-demo, bullshit synth, britpop. It's worthless trash and I'm mad I had to listen to 40 minutes of it.
Nightmares On Wax
3/5
As an active listening experience, this was rubbish. BUT, as background music for getting stuff done, it's fantastic. That averages out to a solid 3-stars, I think.
It does beg the question, though: why the hell is this on the list? Why quality made someone think, "this incredibly repetitive, hook-less album is a must-hear!" Utterly mystifying.
Steve Earle
2/5
I mean, it sounds like every album that ever came out of Nashville. And, while I love the town, I'm not here for the janky countryrock sound it's known for. It just sounds like the Eagles wearing Wranglers. Or Springsteen with a over-the-top twang. Hard pass.
Ice Cube
3/5
The beats are dated, the flow is just so-so, and the lyrical content is about 50% garbage.
But the other 50% is pure, blistering fire. I mean, dang. Cube's never worried about stepping on tails or pissing off the establishment. Whether that's "the man" or other rappers, he doesn't care. He's going to call it as he sees it and I love that.
But it's not an enjoyable listening experience. There's too much dated garbage in here. It's not '92 anymore. The misogyny and hostility wasn't awesome then and it's really not so great now.
Orbital
4/5
I liked that way more than I thought I would. For ambient techno, it never quite hits that "oh just kill me" level of repetitive noise. It's interesting, complex, compelling, and really incredible GSD background music. Seriously, I was so productive with this in my ears. Well done, Orbital. You get an extra star for helping me work.
Jean-Michel Jarre
3/5
I know this isn't a movie soundtrack because wikipedia told me so. But you could have fooled me. If it looks like a duck, etc.
That said, it was interesting background music for getting ready for work at least. Not interesting enough to be distracting but also not annoying at any point, it just flew under the radar from start to finish.
Black Sabbath
5/5
Haters gonna hate but Sabbath slaps. Is it dated? Yes. Does it matter? No. It slaps front to back.
Fiona Apple
2/5
Look, I applaud the attitude but I sure hate the delivery. Fiona seems to be real averse to writing melodies. Or choruses. Or even singing for a single whole song.
I want this mind - with her witty lyricism and "come at me" attitude - behind some actual, honest-to-God vocal melodies. She's got a voice when she chooses to use it. She just... doesn't. The sheer number of tracks that devolve into wordless howling and random noises is staggering. Why do you think anyone wants to listen to you yelp and howl, Fiona? Nobody paid for that.
Minus 2 stars for the yowling. Minus 1 because you seem to hate melodies and 1 more for the lack of choruses. Plus 1 for the attitude, though. Love that.
Abdullah Ibrahim
2/5
The most interesting thing about this album is how bloody uninteresting it is. Up to this point, every album on this list that I've listened to that had its roots in any African country - north/south/east/west, didn't matter - had a palpable energy and joy to it that set it apart from the American and European entries on the list.
This one didn't. You could have told me that it was made in middle America and I'd have believed you. It's... safe. There are no surprises. It's just basic, big band jazz. And it's boring which, as far as I'm concerned, is a cardinal sin for a jazz album.
Miriam Makeba
3/5
Well, it was different, at least. Not super interesting but beautiful in its own way. I didn't hate it.
Duran Duran
3/5
That was better than expected. While it's dated and cheesy, it's LESS dated and cheesy than most New Wave albums of the time. It's got a fun edge to it that's usually missing from the genre and I appreciate that.
But you just can't get away from those bleep-bloop, zip-zap synths of early electric music. And, while "Hungry Like the Wolf" is fun, it's also a massive cheese-fest of a song. Just so cheddar.
SAULT
4/5
This one grew on me. I was not into it for the first two tracks. Why would you start an album like that? Luckily, it kicked into gear by track 3 and, when it did, it kicked in hard.
"Untitled (Black Is)" blurs the lines of what I generally consider "R&B" to be. It's got strong electronic elements all through it. Not just the instrumentation but the way songs are structured. And it works. This odd, hybrid format proves to be a really solid platform for delivering hard truths and blazing indictments against the establishment.
And that's where this album truly shines. The lyricism is top notch. Truly fantastic wordplay that pulls no punches. I didn't expect to dig this. But I did. I really did.
Lauryn Hill
4/5
I remember being super into this when I first encountered it a couple decades ago. It felt gritty, honest, and organic in a way that nothing else that rubbed up against the R&B genre did at the time. I remember it being banger after banger.
So I expected, when I hit play, to give this an easy 5. But memory is a flawed judge. This is not a collection of bangers. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of really solid tracks here. It's a great album. The musicality is fantastic, the lyricism is off the charts, the content is fantastic, and Lauryn is a world-class vocalist.
But it's not a non-stop slapfest, is it? It ebbs and flows. And, ultimately, I think that's correct. That's what this album needs to do. The content demands it. But that also means there are more than a few moments that aren't great. It drags in places. It's dated and cheesy sometimes. It falls into some well-worn and frankly tired R&B tropes here and there. There's enough that's not great that I couldn't quite justify full marks. But it's a very high 4 for me.
The Human League
1/5
Hell no. Just no. What is this garbage? Gross. No.
Madness
2/5
Skiddly-skiddly doobie don't. Hip-hip skiddly doobie nope.
Small Faces
4/5
I quite enjoyed that. It wasn't anything really ground-breaking but it was fun and skillful. A bit of a weird concept but executed well.
Paul Simon
4/5
I was surprised by this one. Probably the best Paul Simon record I've ever heard.
Though Simon's songwriting formula of "I was doing this, she said something, I said something back, then we did this and it made me feel a certain way" gets pretty old after a whole album.
"You Can Call Me Al" is a jam though. In fact, most of the tracks were pretty groovy and fun. Overall, despite the formulaic songwriting, it was a pretty good album.
Snoop Dogg
2/5
Man, that did NOT age well. Snoop's flow is undeniable but his lyrics are utter garbage. Just trash. The beats are a bounce, though.
But these lyrics and those truly horrendous skits... geeze. It took killer beats AND Snoop's iconic flow to redeem a single star from that garbage.
David Gray
3/5
Eh. It's alright, I guess. The lyricism is on point but the songs themselves are decidedly snooze-worthy. I liked "This Year's Love" though.
Culture Club
1/5
This started out strong and, over the course of the album, quickly worked its way down to a single star rating. Every song is bloated with single lines repeated over and over and OVER. The synths are the worst sort of blip-bloop garbage. And the vocal mis-match between Boy George and Helen Terry is downright painful.
The album is cheesy and painful to listen to but it was still flirting with a 2-star review until that second star collapsed under the weight of just SO MANY lame saxophone solos. One I might have forgiven. But practically every song is bogged down by an out of place and completely unnecessary saxophone interlude. Truly terrible. I hope I never have to listen to this garbage again.
Iron Maiden
3/5
Iron Maiden really comes across like a bunch of dudes who just really wanna shred and don't care much what the vocalist is doing. And, for that, it's a lot of fun. But this album would be so much better with different vocals or maybe even none at all. It's not that Bruce is a bad singer. He's alright. It's that the lyrics are so dumb. When it's not super cheesy or tryhard, it's horrendously cringe.
But, if you can ignore the entire vocal element, the music is amazing. Just face-melting shred after face-melting shred. Really great. Too bad about those stupid lyrics, though.
T. Rex
3/5
That was a bit of a mess, honestly. Every other track was great. But the in-between tracks were... well, a mess. It legitimately felt like they did it on purpose. Even the production values swung back and forth between great and meh. Bit of a wild ride but overall, it was fun.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
3/5
It's probably the best Nick Cave album but it's still not great. I very much appreciate the change in lyrical direction to one of introspection instead of deviant voyeurism, though. In fact, these are some of the most self-aware songs that I've ever hear Cave write. That's worth a star all on its own. However, in typical Nick Cave fashion, he takes it way too far. The album ends up so far up its navel, it's scraping backbone.
It wasn't enjoyable. But then, I didn't expect it to be. But it also wasn't the worst thing ever and I did expect it to be that. So cheers to pleasant surprises, I guess?
Tim Buckley
2/5
Oof. Tim. Come on, man. Just cool it for a minute.
I'm glad Tim's having a good time and he sure can jam but I really don't want to hear him wail about sex for 40 minutes. There's way too much "heyheyhey, hummahumma, hawhawhaw, yeeeeeaaaaah!" for anyone's good. Dial that mess back about 60% and you've got a half-decent rock record. As it stands... well, it's a good thing Tim's band is so phenomenal. They're 100% holding the album up, here.
I wanted to give it a 3 but I just couldn't. Tim is just working too hard to wreck what's otherwise a pretty solid rock album.
Lou Reed
2/5
Well, that's just a mess. I'm generally here for Lou but this album is a hot mess.
Some folks just shouldn't try their hands at concept albums. Probably most folks, honestly. Lou Reed falls into that group. This whole album feels forced as though the constraints of the concept limited his ability to create something actually enjoyable.
What a mess. Shame.
Finley Quaye
2/5
Eh. It's alright. Inoffensive. Which, now that I think of it, is kind of a problem for reggae. Isn't this supposed to be a protest genre? Hmm. There goes another star...
The Incredible String Band
1/5
Why did someone think that a recording of a bunch of off-key drunkards in a country pub is something I should listen to before I die?
Wait, this is a real band? Like... for real? With a record deal and all? Huh.
Oh, like a parody joke band. Right? Like a band that does Python-esque bits for the lolz? No?! Are you SURE? Ok... ok, give me a moment...
(Frantically Googles to find out WTF is the deal here and finds NOTHING compelling).
No. I don't believe it. This is a joke. It has to be. It's not a GOOD joke but it's gotta be one...
Sarah Vaughan
3/5
While I wouldn't choose to listen to this on my own, I did enjoy it far more than I expected to. That's due in part to Vaughan's incredible backing band. Those guys are doing work and the jams they're laying down are just SO tight. They know their job - providing a perfect, seamless, canvas for Vaughan's vocals - and they carry it out flawlessly.
The same can't be said for Miss Vaughan. There are some really interesting choices made by the label here. They lead off with an MC telling everyone that Vaughan will be using lyric sheets but then leave in all the times when she completely flubs the lyrics. While that showcases her poise and humor, it also makes her feel like an amateur. I don't hate it but I also don't understand it.
Ultimately, the mistakes and the strange choices weren't enough to kill the experience for me. I still enjoyed it. I'll most likely never listen to it again but it was fun while I did listen.
Elvis Presley
3/5
This is what happens when you don't write any of your own material and let the label pick your songs. You end up with a weird set of tracks that just don't seem to go together. How you put out an album that goes from the sparse, smoky, club jam of "Fever" to the saccharine oo-wee-oo of "The Girl of My Best Friend" is beyond me.
That said, this might be my favorite Elvis record to date. He's at peak vocals here. There's a maturity to the performances that wasn't there in earlier records. And the recording quality took a HUGE leap forward with this first stereo release. Legitimately great production values for the time.
That said, it didn't age all that well. Shocking nobody, it's full of sugar-coated chauvinist ideology. "But it was the 50s! You gotta make allowances!" Well, it's not the 50s now and I sure don't. The greasy sexism lost it a star for sure.
The Icarus Line
3/5
I didn't hate this. But I also didn't love it. Which was surprising since I'm usually here for angry, post-punk shenanigans. It was just so noisy. Such a mess. Shame, really.
Fairport Convention
4/5
There is some really killer songwriting on display here. Like, really really good stuff. "
"Duh," you say, "it's got a bunch of Dylan songs on it." "Overrated," you say. And, if it was just the Dylan tracks that were great, I'd agree. But the impressive thing here is that the Dylan tracks don't stand out. They're almost all solid, high-quality writing.
English folk is not my favorite genre, but the songs are undeniably good.
Carpenters
1/5
This is so soft and inoffensive it makes me angry. What is the point? Why would you even want to make an album so bland? What was the driving impetus that made you think, "I must create this! The world needs this!"
"Close to You" is utterly empty of passion, energy, or drive. It's fully sedated. I cannot imagine being the kind of person that says, "Oh, yes. This is my jam. More of that, please." The mindset that leads to this album charting is utterly foreign to me.
But the Beatles cover was the proverbial straw for me. Wow, was that ill-advised. Terrible choice. Just terrible. I tried to find positives to balance the negatives. I really did. But that's where I drew the line. This shouldn't exist.
4/5
I had to listen to this one twice because I couldn't figure out how I felt about it. On one hand, it feels a bit scattered. There's no real through-line to the album. But the songs aren't bad. Just... oddly constructed.
On a second listen-through, I was able to focus a bit more on the fantastic production. The guitar tones are killer, the mix is super balanced while still being experimental, and the overall song construction is good if unconventional.
I don't know, I went back and forth on this one but I ended up giving it a 4-star score mostly because it made me stop and think. There are a lot of albums on this list that can't manage to snag my attention for more than a song or two so that deserves an extra star.
Lupe Fiasco
3/5
I almost loved this. I WANTED to love this. I tried REALLY HARD to love this.
But I didn't.
It's got too much Jay-Z stank on it. Too much "Uh. Yeeah. Heh." and bars repeated ad-nauseam. The production is all glitter and sparkles and J.J. Abrams lens flares. All the slick shine and over-stylized vocal hypes hide the quality of the content. Which, if you strip it all away, would be really REALLY solid.
I want this same album but spit raw with the energy of a street cypher. I want more of what I heard from Ayesha Jaco in the intro track and less of Lupe trying to mimic Jay Z and Kanye. I want what I can tell is there but remains hidden. Passion. Skill. Heart.
I was so disappointed by this one. It had so much promise.
Marvin Gaye
4/5
I'm well over 700 albums into this thing and this is the first time I've wondered if it's a mistake to dock an album points for the sins of the genre.
What Mr. Gaye has created here is an undeniably great record. The lyrical content is deep and nuanced, heavy and beautiful. His delivery is, by and large, top-notch. The performances by the Funk Brothers are every bit as fantastic as one would expect from some of the greatest studio musicians ever.
And yet, I can't quite dig it. There are a lot of elements to this album that just make me shudder. But everything that I dislike about "What's Going On" are staples of the genre and not specific to Marvin Gaye. It's the jazz flutes and the saxophone solos and the weird speaking/singing echo and a dozen more little things that are classic markers of 70s soul. I hate them so much. But should that be counted against Gaye? He's created a masterpiece here. It's exceptional for the genre. But it's also exceptional despite the genre.
At the end of the day, I think I still have to count the sins of the genre against the album to some degree. The artist chooses their genre, after all, and they choose what elements of the genre to keep. Marvin Gaye chose this and, while it's an exceptional example of the genre, it still has the cheesy stink of 70s soul.
Hole
5/5
Look, I get it. Courtney Love's voice can be a hard sell for some folks. Her riot grrl gone grunge aesthetic isn't for everyone. But it 100% works for me.
The songwriting is razor sharp, the performances are in your face and unrelenting, and the production is peak 90s grunge. But the biggest selling point here is Courtney Love. Not only is her songwriting top-notch, her performances bounce between sweet crooning and ragged screaming. She refuses to let you get comfortable. And that's SUPER appropriate given the subject matter of these songs. They're not comfortable.
"Live Through This" is a rare example of an album where the lyrics and the music are perfectly matched. It's masterful and I'm here for it. Full marks.
John Martyn
2/5
I'm not sure what I just listened to but it wasn't the worst thing on this list by far. I even enjoyed bits of it. I won't listen to it again but it wasn't like... terrible.
Joni Mitchell
2/5
Joni is such a great writer. But she's kind of trash as a performer. Not that she has a bad voice, mind you. She just... doesn't understand the concept of a melody. She just warbles her poems into a mic and calls it done.
I want these lyrics separated from the music. Just get rid of the music. Don't try to sing it, Joni. Just READ me your beautiful words. Trying to mate the poetry to... whatever experimental nonsense this is... well, it's a bad experience. Really unenjoyable to listen to.
Which, again, is a bloody shame because the words themselves are truly excellent.
The Cardigans
1/5
Hard no. The 90s gave us some great albums. Just not in 96. It was a spectacularly crappy year for music. If it wasn't for The Fugees it would almost be a complete wash.
"First Band on the Moon" is a great example of mid-90s garbage rock. No, that's not a typo. It's not garage rock. It's garbage not because of technical or monetary reasons. One can only assume it's garbage on purpose. Like, that was their aesthetic. Utterly pretentious trash... with an ever-so-slight rock tinge.
It's a collection of parse, poorly-mixed songs lead by whispery, too-twee, fairy-garden vocals and stuffed full of pseudo-intellectual lyrics. It's just garbage. I'm not even going to give it credit for "Lovefool" because there are a dozen covers of it that are 100x better than this garbage original.
Did I mention that this is garbage? Because it is. Utter garbage.
The Smiths
1/5
I tried. I really did. I tried so hard to give this the benefit of the doubt and listen with an open mind. But Morrissey is just SUCH an insufferable tosser.
If that was all that was wrong with this album, it would be one thing. But the mixing and production are just SO BAD. Truly, legitimately, terrible. And while Marr's guitar tones are pretty good, the actual riffs are boring AF. Utterly forgettable.
Combine it all and you've got an undigestible slurry of self-indulgent mediocrity. The album probably deserves a 2-star score but I'm just so damn sick of this list forcing Morrissey down my throat. Screw that guy.
Weather Report
1/5
Who put this on the list? What critic listens to elevator jazz and is like, "Oooh, yeah. That's my shit. The world needs to hear these saxophone solos."
Piss off, mate. This was a waste of everyone's time.
Janet Jackson
4/5
I did not expect to find anything much to appreciate here so I was pleasantly surprised by how good it was. It's hella dated, of course but that can't detract from how good the production and songwriting are. Janet stepped up her game here and it shows.
I can't give it full marks on account of how dated it is and how terrible and pointless the interlude tracks are. But it earns every one of the 4 stars that I can give it.
Bonnie "Prince" Billy
4/5
I'm generally here for Will Oldham. I think he's a powerful writing talent and a pretty decent performer. But you kind of have to be in the mood for him. I'm not sure I was in that mood today.
But I got there. It helps that Oldham is a great songwriter. The lyrics are stunningly beautiful. "I See A Darkness" is just such a solid and distinct vibe. It's a catchy kind of bleak chill that settles over you like a warm, heavy blanket on an overcast, cool early winter day. Soporific in all the good ways.
Orbital
1/5
Well, that first track really set the tone in an unfortunate way. "You know what we should do? Annoy the shit out of anyone who listens our album right away. That'll show them for spending money on our garbage."
Simply calling this repetitive is almost insultingly reductive. It's not JUST repetitive. It's also mostly bad. And they only repeated the bad parts. Why are these tracks so long?! There's nothing actually HAPPENING in these tracks that justifies their insane length.
It's just noise. Mind-numbingly repetitive noise.
Haircut 100
2/5
An hour of generic British New Wave is too much generic British New Wave. About an hour too much, in fact. Nobody needed this.
Not that these boys can't play because they can. And, if I'm being honest, the production is shockingly good. But that's all the positive commentary I have for this album, unfortunately. The lyrics are stupid, the vocals sound exactly like every other New Wave band ever, and (again) nobody needed this. It's a waste of time and effort.
2 stars because the production values are so high and the recording quality is pristine. While that has nothing to do with the band, it IS a check in the album's positive column.
Underworld
4/5
Man, I expected to hate this and I absolutely did not. Is it repetitive? Well, yeah. I mean... it's techno. What did you expect?
But it's damn good techno. Layered, complex, interesting, compelling. Makes a mean GSD background playlist for work, I'll tell you.
The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
1/5
Piss off Jon Spencer. You can't just screech into a mic and call it music. Also 1h20m of this bullshit is about 45 minutes too much. Why do you think people want to listen to over an hour of garbage noise? Piss off.
The Young Gods
3/5
This one was a bit of a shock at first. I was not mentally prepared for this album.
I had a thought that shifted my perceptions, though. Part of the way through the second song, I thought, "This is like the soundtrack to some sort of twisted, post-industrial, dystopic carnival." And then I kinda loved it.
Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of wordless screeching and noise for the sake of noise. But if they were going for the gothy death circus vibe... well, they nailed it. Still not a jam I'm adding to the regular rotation but, for the right mood, it's a distinct vibe.
Fun Lovin' Criminals
4/5
I really enjoyed "Come Find Yourself". Fun Lovin' Criminals managed to smash multiple genres together and still make it groove and that's no mean feat. The grooves are solid, the hooks are catchy, the flow is clean, the lyrics have substance without ever taking themselves too seriously.
I don't know. I really liked it. It's its own, unique thing and I happen to be here for it.
Arcade Fire
3/5
What a great album... that's utterly ruined by mopey, whiney, emo vocals. Win Butler needs to pull himself out of his own butthole, grow a spine, and act like he actually wants to be here making music.
I wanted to fail this so hard because of these vocals but the music is just SO good. I have to give it multiple stars for the musicianship alone. I want a no-vocals version of this album. I'd listen to it on repeat. All day long. But add in these vocals and the gag-inducing, self-indulgent lyrics and I'm out. I couldn't wait for it to be done.
Brian Eno
1/5
If you'd told me there would ever be a time when I would think, "Damn. I just wish Brian Eno would be more ambient," I'd have laughed in your face. And yet, here we are.
I very much prefer the second half of the album where it seems that Eno and Byrne stopped tryin to make a statement and focused on making mostly inconsequential noise. Not that any of it was good. It's just that the last half was less horrible than the first half.
1/5
What garbage. Listen, I love metal. I love rap. I even like a lot of rap rock. But man, I hated this so much.
It's just so bad. The lyrics are juvenile. It's not just that they sound like they were written to appeal to 13-year-old boys. They're also just... bad. Like a notebook filled with curse words written in crayon. I try really hard not to come across like some sort of elitist snob (I mean, my favorite band is Ramones so I don't have much of a leg to stand on there) but this is just SO DAMN IDIOTIC.
I tried to ignore the dumb vocals and find a star for the musicality but even that's not great. It's so basic and emotionless. This whole band comes across like a bunch of middle-school boys standing by looking for cops while their leader yells the two curse words he knows as he gleefully chucks rocks into traffic.
The Flying Burrito Brothers
3/5
I really hate slide steel. I know that's subjective and I shouldn't judge an album on how much slide steel is on it. But I'm gonna. It's awful. -1 star for the slide steel alone.
The rest of the album was alright, I guess. It's country but not like... authentic country. It feels very poser. Very LA. This is sequins and convertibles instead of denim and horses. As such, it never really seems to hit anything but a superficial, surface-level emotional note.
The musicianship is clearly up to snuff and Parsons is generally a pretty good songwriter but, despite all that talent, it's just a really 'meh' album.
Everything But The Girl
1/5
More like IdleMILD, amirite?
Jeeze, what a boring album. I had to double-check the release date on this one because it for sure felt like it was from the mid-60s. And not in a cool "throwback" way. More like a, "we forgot everything the last 20 years of music has taught us" way.
So soft. So boring. So many saxophone solos. This did not merit inclusion on the list. Hard pass.
Dolly Parton
3/5
All respect to Dolly and Emmylou (Ronstadt, with her penchant for soft, adult-contemporary vibes, was by far the weak link here) but I really struggle with the sad-sack country crooner schtick. I just hate it so much.
But, as I listened, it grew on me. Well, some of the songs did. When it was country, it was alright. When it was adult contemporary, it was awful. And when it was bluegrass, it was fire. Seriously, I felt like I got musical whiplash going from "Those Memories of You" (a gut-busting bluegrass jam) to "I've Had Enough" (a flaccid adult contemporary turd) and it killed the experience for me, honestly.
I'll never listen to this again but, at the end of the day, I can respect it even if I don't like it.
The United States Of America
2/5
Dear The United States of America,
Thank you for your effort. However, upon listening to your eponymous album, we do have a few critical notes for you. Firstly, your band name is stupid and confusing and needs to be changed. Secondly, we urge you to fire your lead player immediately. He's not playing the same song as the rest of you on any of these tracks. The rhythm section is nice and tight but he's off in left field playing God knows what. The resulting album is a discordant, noisy mess. The only times when your songs start to feel somewhat coherent are the times when he stops playing. It's a problem.
Fix those two items and I believe you might have something compelling on your hands. Until then, we will have to reject your application for the position of "good rock band" and ask that you not contact us again.
Sincerely,
People who like music.
Wilco
3/5
I don't really understand the praise heaped on this album. It's... kinda boring?
The songwriting isn't bad by any means, but it feels like Tweedy and crew are annoyed to be in the studio and just can't be bothered to put much energy into anything. The performances are decidedly lackluster and the arrangements loose for the most part. The production follows suit with little attention paid to details, instead opting to mix with broad brushstrokes most of the time. It doesn't feel like anyone involved in this album actually cared about these songs.
But, like I said, the songwriting isn't bad. In fact, there are some real lyrical gems in here. I just wish everything weren't so lazily delivered. It's really off-putting. There is ONE song where it works in their favor: "Poor Places" isn't the best songwriting on the album but it's hands down the best performance because the energy finally matched the song. And yet, when you look at play count on Spotify, that's the second least played track on the album. I just don't get it.
Given the sheer, feverish joy with which people talk about this album, I expected more. I hit play with anticipation, and left feeling really disappointed and more than a bit confused. Why are people all about this? I just don't understand.
Talking Heads
2/5
That's some super 80s junk, right there. Repetitive, atonal, electronic music with shallow, new wave vocals. It's not great. But there's just enough of a 70s funk influence in here that it's not a total waste of time. Just barely.
Faust
2/5
I really don't appreciate it when it feels like I'm being hazed by an album's first track. I shouldn't have to suffer through 12 minutes of garbage noise for the dubious honor of listening to the rest of your album.
And yet, here we are.
Back in the vinyl days, you could get away with this nonsense more easily because listeners couldn't just hit skip to get past it. They were captive to some degree. But that just makes it more egregious that a band would force this on their listeners. Why not lead off with something that hooks people? Something like "Giggy Smile" that actually shows off your talent? Something that makes them WANT to stop and listen?
Not that the rest of the album is great but it's not 12 minutes of noise. Every other song is more engaging than that first track. Sure, the mixing is really rough with WAY too much of the mix hard-panned left and right, making for a really unbalanced listening experience that's frankly headache-inducing over headphones. But, even with the very serious mixing issues, those tracks are STILL better than that garbage first track.
Why do that to people? It's not helping you out.
Queen
5/5
I really don't see how anyone can argue against this album. It's a masterpiece. Anyone who bags on it is clearly doing so from a bitter and petty place. Or maybe they just don't like music? I don't know. It doesn't make sense.
It's just so damn good! It's just banger after banger. Every track is its own massive production. Every song is an unstoppable freight train of pure vibe.
It's that good AND it's freaking FUN. The sheer talent on display here is almost unfair. I'd be upset about it if... no, that's a lie. I get to reap the rewards of someone else's talent and that's when art is at its best. This is how music is supposed to work. Anyone who tries to kick up a fuss about this one is full of crap.
The Byrds
2/5
So, what I'm hearing is... this is all Gram Parsons's fault? All the garbage rock country and hippie redneck nonsense of the last few decades are because Parsons convinced one of the most influential psych rock bands to twang? Well, screw that guy. I'm generally alright with The Byrds but this was nearly unlistenable.
The only reason this didn't flat-out fail is because, apparently, The Byrds got tired of their own nonsense and, around 2/3 of the way through, reverted to their rock roots for a a few songs.
The Monks
4/5
I know I have a double-standard when it comes to punk and punk-adjacent bands. It's because the goals of punk are different from most other genres. But it's also because I love punk music.
I really enjoyed the hell out of this one. It's right on the front edge of punk so it's still got a lot of good, old-fashioned 60s rock mixed into the very punk ethos. It's a great combination for me and I'm legitimately sad that there's only one album from The Monks.
I'll be giving this one another listen, for sure.
Skepta
3/5
At first, I was like, "Hey, that's different and interesting" and then I was like, "hmmm, these are all starting to sound the same" and then I was like, "Skits? Really? I thought we were past this as a genre."
Overall, it was exactly alright. The good balances the bad and averages out to a "meh" 3-star score.
Syd Barrett
3/5
I know Syd was trying to do his own, post-Pink thing and I respect that. But, more than anything, "The Madcap Laughs" comes across like some sort of alt-universe Beatles album. Like if they'd swapped Lennon for Barrett, this is what it would have sounded like. Which makes sense given the time and place. That was just... the sound, I guess.
And I didn't hate it. I like Floyd and I like the Beatles so, overall, I found this alright. What I have issues with (and why it scores as low as it does) is that there's a lot of great talent being poured into these tracks... and the result is not great. It's just... meh. The sum is less than its parts and that's really disappointing. It's not surprising given the state of Syd's mental health at the time and I suppose allowances should be made for that but I'm here to judge the album, not the artist. And the album is just middling.
Big Star
2/5
I don't know, man. Maybe the band was right. Maybe this didn't need to be released. I can see why they lost interest in finishing this album. It's mostly uninteresting.
Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
3/5
This is why you need to listen to the whole album, folks. This one kicked off strong but then started to go sideways by song 4. It seems like someone tried to course correct on song 5 but it wasn't enough and the whole thing just unraveled into a weird mess by the end.
When it was good, it was really quite good. But when it wasn't, it really wasn't.
Rahul Dev Burman
2/5
I can see how this inspired... the Austin Powers soundtrack? It feels like what it is. Namely, a cheesy, 70s film.
This album highlights a problem with this list. Albums are often added too hastily and it seems to take an act of God to get them removed. The stated goal is cultural relevance but, so often, albums are added to the list when their relevance hasn't yet been shown. On the flip side, albums that maybe seemed like they were going to be relevant and spawn a whole family of related artists are left on the list long after their family tree has withered and died.
"Shalimar" is one such album. This whole musical idea proved to be untenable and, subsequently, disappeared from the cultural zeitgeist. Let it die and get it off the list.
Kings of Leon
4/5
This one grew on me. By the end, I was sold on the whole vibe and feel of the album. It's strong and plays rough without being jagged and unpolished. The recording quality is maybe not the greatest but it also seems somewhat intentional so I can get behind it. I don't know, man. It was a pretty good time.
It's nice to hear some rock and roll on this list again. It's been a while.
Don McLean
5/5
When this came out of the gate with "American Pie" I fully expected it to be a downhill coast from there.
I was wrong. Turns out, Don's a beast of a songwriter. These songs are wonderfully written, beautifully performed, and exceptionally well recorded. Are they all "American Pie"? No, of course not. But there's not a dud in the bunch. Not even compared to the elephant in the room that is the title track.
Surprisingly, I enjoyed the hell out of it. Full marks.
Grateful Dead
4/5
This is the one. This is what a Grateful Dead album is supposed to sound like. It's everything that the Dead are known and loved for. They've always been a musician's band and that's super evident here. It's so easy to get lost in the layers and transitions and the interplay between the instruments. I really enjoyed it.
Bruce Springsteen
2/5
A blue-collar mumble-rocker from Jersey tries his hand at mid-American country crooning to mixed results.
"Nebraska" is mostly a set of boring imitations of old-school narrative country with a few half-decent tracks thrown in. It's full of put-on nostalgia for an idealized past that never existed and it comes off like a very poser money-grab from an over-the-hill boomer rocker.
I mean, it wasn't the worst thing I've heard on this list... but I'll never listen to it again.
5/5
Shocking nobody, I really liked this.
There's no shortage of people who will tell you all about how important this album was for American culture. I won't waste your time with another recitation. Just know that it's true. This one was huge.
But we're here for the music, right? And, from a musical perspective, "Kick Out The Jams" is an amazing moment at the crossroads of genres. It's a "missing link" album that shows the moment in time when the Vietnam-era rock peaceniks stopped "making love not war" and their anger with American nationalist culture boiled over and became something new. Something sonically violent and disruptive and impossible to ignore.
It's a snapshot of a transition and I'd love it for that alone. But, lucky for us, that's not all that's here. It's right at the edge of punk with all of the violent energy that implies but it's ALSO at the end of the 60s with all of the layered psychedelic guitars and wild rhythms that come with the time period. This is still '69, after all. Influenced by their contemporaries like Hendrix, King Crimson, The Who, and more, MC5 brings serious musical chops to the stage. The guitars are every bit as shreddy and psychedelic as Floyd and the grooves grind every bit as hard as a Zeppelin joint. It's got everything you want in an album from '69 AND it brings the revolutionary energy of a punk band. How can you not love that?!
It's musically fantastic. Add to that its cultural importance and it's an easy 5 for me.
Dire Straits
3/5
I'm not sure why this one hit so differently from the other Dire Straits album on the list but it for sure did. It's a classic, southern rock vibe that I'm... well, I'm not exactly here for it but I don't mind it. There's a bit too much chickin-pickin for my tastes but it's relatively skillful picking... so there's that. The whole thing still comes off more than a bit try-hard boomer-rock for me but, for all that, it's pretty alright.
Nirvana
4/5
I mean, yeah, it's not ACTUALLY unplugged, I get it. That's a problem, sure. Okay.
But, effects and amp aside, the songs really DO sound different with an acoustic guitar. There's something about that slight change that compliments Cobain's deep, melancholic insecurity at the time. It's a definite vibe.
Detractors like to say that this only hit #1 because Cobain was recently deceased and people were seeing the band through rose-colored glasses. I disagree... but only in part. I think this album hit #1 because it felt like a worthy and fitting capstone to the band's legacy. It feels darker and more somber than previous releases. There's a seriousness here that's unique for Nirvana It feels like the end and, with the death of Cobain, it was. THAT is why it was so huge, I think.
So, yeah, it's big because Cobain bit the dust. But not because of some misplaced sense of "he's gone and now I think he's a genius!" It's big because it feels like a fitting goodbye. And it still feels like that, all these years later.
Curtis Mayfield
3/5
Soul is not my favorite genre. It tends to be too slick for its own good, rely on really stupid lyrics, and feature far too much saxophone.
Lucky for me, there's a lot more funk than soul in the mix here. Sure, it's overloaded with horns, cheesy strings, and falsetto wailing... But those groves, man. So good. It's hard to hate it with much intensity.
But, when it's all said and done, I was really glad it was all said and done, you know? A little bit of this goes a long way and "Superfly" bangs the same (admittedly funky) gong over and over from needle drop to lift and it gets old quickly.
Arcade Fire
4/5
I liked that a lot more than I expected to. I'm not sure there were any bangers here but there were no duds either. The production was solid throughout and there was a strong flow from beginning to end. Sure, it started to drag towards the end of the album but it never fully fell apart.
I didn't really dig the concept of the album as I'm not into suburban, middle-class American ennui as an aesthetic. It seems a bit pathetic which is the main reason this doesn't score a 5 for me. The other reason is that it's bloated. There are at least 3 tracks here that could have been cut to make the album super tight. I know, I know, "It's a concept album! Every track tells part of the story!" Well, maybe you should tighten up your storytelling, then. Kill your darlings.
It's close to great but falls short. But it is pretty darn good and that's not nothing.
Mekons
1/5
WHY?! Why is this garbage on the list?! It's so bad. The vocals are terrible, the songwriting is garbage, the musicianship is subpar, and the production values are nonexistent.
Every track has at least one instrument that's just not playing along with the song. Often not even in the same KEY as the song. It's consistent enough that it's clearly a stylistic choice. A really bad choice.
This album has no redeeming qualities. Fail.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
2/5
Gah, what a bloated corpse of an album. Nick Cave is such a tryhard gothy boy and it's a real turnoff.
That said, this some of the best musicianship I've heard on a Cave joint. If you pulled his lyrics off of these songs, they'd probably be fantastic. Unfortunately, it's got the stank of Nick's garbage, self-indulgent, "ooh, I'm so dark and edgy" songwriting all over it.
And that's a lot of garbage songwriting because this album is WAY too long. Cut a third of them and you might have a half-decent album. Kill your darlings, Nick. You write songs about it all the time. You should be good at it by now.
Digital Underground
1/5
I know Digital Underground was important to the evolution of hip hop, but I'm glad that its particular branch of the evolutionary tree turned out to be a dead end and the genre went in other directions.
Because it's bad.
This is legit awful. The flows are stilted and slow, the rhymes are lame, the subject matter is juvenile, and the beats are amateur. It was such a waste of time that not even the silly nostalgia of "The Humpty Dance" could save it a star.
King Crimson
4/5
I mean, is it pretentious, self-indulgent, and pointedly weird? Of course. It's King Crimson. I'd expect nothing less.
But it's also really good. King Crimson has the chops to get away with the prog-rock nonsense. It's weird a trippy and painfully slow to go anywhere at times, but that's balanced by the other times. The times when they throw down groves that are so thick and tasty. Or the times when the layering is so complex that you can get lost trying to follow everything that's going on.
Overall, it was a great piece of musicianship even if it was exactly enjoyable from start to finish.
Roxy Music
3/5
It's unusual to come across an "art rock" album that (mostly) remembers to keep the "rock" part in the foreground. That was a nice surprise.
There's still a lot of pretentious nonsense in here, don't get me wrong. "Art Rock" is always going to find its way up its own butt. That's just the sin of the genre. But, as far as it goes, Roxy Music did an alright job keeping to the assignment of making a decent rock album.
Method Man
4/5
This is a hard one to rate. On one hand, the beats slap and Method Man's flow is just so good. On the other hand, it's cheesy as hell and, when it's not being cheesy, the lyrics are... kinda dumb.
But the vibe, y'all. It's so good. How do you rate that? I put it at a neutral 3 stars at first... but its importance to the genre earned it another star. I feel good about a 4-star score even with the cheesy skits and kung-fu samples.
Basement Jaxx
1/5
No. No, there's no need for this to be on the list. There's no need for this to BE, in fact.
Useless, garbage, boots-and-cats noise. I'd like my hour back, please.
David Bowie
4/5
It's definitely not my favorite Bowie joint but it's still shockingly good. While the critics call it "blue-eyed soul", Bowie himself dubbed the sound "plastic soul" which tells you he knew exactly what he was doing. In fact, he described the album as "the squashed remains of ethnic music as it survives in the age of Muzak rock, written and sung by a white limey". And he ain't wrong.
But this is Bowie. And, while that sounds like an excuse to give it a higher rating than it deserves, what it means is that the man desperately respected the source material. He was a lover of music and, while he self-deprecatingly describes his work here in derogatory terms, the love of the music that he's pulling from comes through with blinding clarity. Add to that the sheer, unearthly skill with which Bowie builds songs and I'd argue that it's worth every bit of its 4-star rating.
If I could give it 4 and a half stars, I would.
Klaxons
5/5
This. This is what I came here for. To discover new, great music.
"Myths of the Near Future" comes out swinging and never lets up. The energy is contagious, the songs are hooky, and the production is top-notch. It was an immediate repeat play for me. Just great. Can't believe I'd never heard of Klaxons before. They're certainly on my radar now.
Guided By Voices
4/5
Look, I'm an old punk so there's a lot here that rings my bells. The lo-fi production, the self-aware without being self indulgent lyrics, the super short track times. It all works for me.
Also, can we just talk about the advance for a moment? You boys got $100,000 advance and then turned in this album? That takes some balls. I hope you spent that money well, because there's no way you recouped it with this album.
That said, I really really enjoyed it. Pretty great for what it is.
JAY Z
3/5
I don't know man. I tried really hard to like this. The beats were so good, and the vibe slaps.
But nobody, and I mean nobody, loves Jay Z as much as Jay Z loves Jay Z. This whole album is nothing but diss.tracks and hype tracks and Jay Z talking about how great he thinks he is.
That'll wear a fella out real quick. Four songs in and I was ready to be done hearing about how great Jay Z is. If you gotta say it that often, one starts to wonder... Feels like compensating to me.
Patti Smith
1/5
Nah. The list is bloated with this kind of nonsense and I get so frustrated by it.
"Horses" is poorly written and even more poorly performed. The songs are wandering, overly-wordy, self-indulgent, and often nonsensical. And Patti's performance is so over the top try hard. She actively works to sing poorly because... she thinks it's a cool vibe?
Weird for weird's sake is never going to cut it for me. It's not cool. It's just bad. Stop chewing your words and just bloody sing.
Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
1/5
Look, I listened to the whole thing, okay? Did I listen to it the (apparently) requisite 6-7 times that it takes to appreciate it? Hell no. I'm not willingly inviting the Stockholm syndrome this album apparently requires in order to see it as anything but what it is: garbage.
Also, there's a difference between "polyrhythmic" and "arhythmic" and this is the latter. Arhythmic garbage music with nonsensical, garbage lyrics sung in an atonal, garbage style.
It's garbage is what I'm trying to say. Just... garbage.
The Who
3/5
Well, I liked this better than "Tommy" but that's a low bar.
I'm really glad they abandoned the whole rock opera format and just released songs they thought were particularly good from the project. That paid off, I think. There are some really great tracks here. But it still comes across as pretentious nonsense and that, I'm learning, is just what The Who do. It's unfortunate given the level of talent here.
Slayer
3/5
Boy, that sure hit different than it did when I was younger.
I still love the music, but these lyrics... they're so try hard. They're working so hard to be so spooky that it just comes off really really lame. I
t's a shame because, as far as speed metal goes, Slayer is the best in the game. At the end of the day, I'm always going to be a metal head, so this is always going to work for me on some level. Unfortunately, it didn't work on every level.
Those lyrics, man.,. sheesh.
Iggy Pop
5/5
It's so good. It's everything you want from 70s Iggy. It grooves, it grinds, it's raw, it's layered. You can feel the Bowie influence but it never overshadows Iggy himself.
It was a high 4-star rating for me but "The Passenger" pushed it over the top. That song is just SO Iggy and I love it dearly. Everything from there on was a delightful coast to the end.
Nine Inch Nails
3/5
I'm starting to feel like a broken record, but here's another album that hits differently now that I'm older.
Trent Reznor is a brilliant composer. And that shows here even in his early work. NIN is a powerhouse of industrial rock. There's not a missed note or a missed opportunity here. It's a perfect industrial album. Musically, at least.
Lyrically, it's another matter. So much of this album that felt edgy and rebellious in my youth now feels juvenile and try hard. Don't get me wrong, there are still some great tracks on this album.
But the big hits? They just come off kind of cheesy. Oh, did you say a bad word? Oh, I see
It's because you're talking about having sex. And now you're screaming that God's dead. This isn't exactly breaking new ground, is it? This is just to try to be shocking. That's disappointing. You're capable of more intelligent writing.
Tom Tom Club
2/5
I don't know, man. It didn't suck but I'd never willingly listen to it ever again. It wasn't, by any stretch of the imagination, good on any level. Yet another puzzling inclusion on the list.
Pere Ubu
1/5
I can't tell if this is bad because they want it to be or if it's bad because they just suck. Either way it was bad.
Like... REALLY bad. It's utterly baffling how incredibly bad this is. How this made the list, I don't know.
The Last Shadow Puppets
4/5
This felt like the soundtrack to a Bond movie in all the best ways. Were all the tracks a bit samey? Well, yes. But I liked what they were doing so that didn't bother me overmuch.
The only reason this doesn't get full marks is that it seems a bit pretentious to release an album in 2008 that's so firmly fixed in a vibe that's at least 40 years older.
The Vines
5/5
Man, that was a delight. I didn't really know what to expect from this one. I was aware of the band but wasn't familiar with their catalog. Turns out, this was my jam. I loved the "modern garage throwback" vibe so much.
It was such a groove and I was digging it already but when "Get Free" hit, I was all-in. What a freaking great track. I got nothing negative to say here. Full marks. Immediate replay.
Bob Marley & The Wailers
5/5
Yeah, man. This is what you want out of a reggae album.
I mean, if you want a reggae album, that is. Which I generally don't.
But, if you're looking for a great reggae album full of smart, intellectually stimulating, socially relevant, politically aware, but still fun jams? This is the album for you.
Julian Cope
2/5
The problem with any album that runs for 2.5 hours is that it's going to get old no matter how good it is. I don't care who you are, that's too much. When it's 2.5 hours of Julian Cope, it got old LONG before the halfway mark.
That's not to say that it doesn't have its moments of greatness. The problem is that not a one of those moments lasts a whole song. I thought "Safesurfer" was going to be that song but then Julian wrecked it by repeating the line "You don't have to be afraid, love / 'Cause I'm a safesurfer, darlin'" ad infinitum and throwing some atonal solos over top of what was, up until that point, some REALLY tasty guitar work.
And that's really the whole 2.5-hour experience in a nutshell. Flashes of genius drowning in a sea of pretentious nonsense. Shame. Those few moments were brilliant and I would have loved more of that.
The Who
4/5
That's the best album by The Who I've listened to so far.
And it's because it's live. It's a show. The point isn't some artsy concept album with shoehorned lyrics and strained metaphors. The point is for people to enjoy a show. To enjoy the music for itself.
And I did enjoy it. Shorn of the pretentious "art for art's sake" aspirations, these boys rock so hard. Their skills and energy are on full display here and it's legitimately impressive. So much raw power that I would never have known they possessed if I'd just listened to "Tommy".
Air
3/5
This is a hard one. I thought, after the first track, this would be a slam dunk. Unfortunately, it's just not. The album drags, the music wanders and, all in all, it's not a great active listening experience.
It sounds like what it is: a soundtrack for a movie. Is it a vibe? Absolutely. It is a whole bucket of feels. But very few songs actually have melodies, let alone anything resembling a song structure. And, while that's great behind action and dialogue in a movie, it's not so great for active listening.
I wanted to give this high marks, but I can't. Sadly, it only rates a middling score.
Death In Vegas
2/5
Oh joy. Another mediocre electronic album.
"The Contino Sessions" isn't terrible as far as electronic goes, I guess. There are zero stand out tracks and it certainly never bangs but it was fine as background music for a few tracks. Unfortunately, it quickly outstayed its welcome. At only 48 minutes long, I was still super ready for it to be over.
Slade
4/5
That was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. A bit goofy at times, for sure, but it was still a pleasantly shreddy, driving album.
William Orbit
3/5
It really feels like there are a lot of electronic albums on this list just for the sake of padding the number of electronic albums on the list. This is one of those albums.
I mean, it's FINE, I guess. Perfectly serviceable electronic background music. Nothing even remotely special about it but also nothing terribly offensive. The most remarkable thing about it is how remarkably indifferent it left me feeling about it.
Tim Buckley
4/5
I kinda liked that but I sure couldn't tell you why.
Tim's writing wanders around like a beetle in a box, unsure where he's going and why he keeps bumping into walls. Every once in a while, he stumbles over a melody and follows it for a minute before getting distracted and wandering off again.
Normally, those would be nonnegotiable deductions for me but, for some reason, they're not here. It was just a pleasant listening experience. One I don't feel compelled to repeat, for sure, but not an experience I was disappointed to have had.
The Auteurs
2/5
Ah. Another British alt band. How original.
The list is overstuffed with dozens of bands that sound exactly like this one. Pass.
Sisters Of Mercy
2/5
So, like... does every newwave/darkwave/synthwave band just use the same singer? Is that why they all sound the same? Because, despite being serviceable electronic music, this was boring AF. Nothing new, nothing exciting, nothing unique. Just the same guy singing about the same stuff over a slightly more emo flavor of the same synths.
John Martyn
2/5
Geeze. Mumble much? There's some real solid guitar, keys, and bass work here but, overall, it's a jumbled, mumbled mess. Unnecessary saxophones and vibraphones knocked a star off the rating real fast.
The lyrics didn't help either. I can only take so much of the pseudo-deep, wandering stoner vibe. I was really glad it was over when it was over.
Paul Weller
3/5
Yeah, that's not too bad. Not mind-blowing but damn solid work.
Peter Gabriel
3/5
I mean, "Sledgehammer" is a bop but the rest of the album? Not so much. Not that it's bad by any stretch of the imagination. It's just not all on the same level as "Sledgehammer" is it?
Pixies
4/5
This album was legitimately ahead of its time. Nothing about "Surfer Rosa" sounds like it was released in 1988. The music industry was still in the grips of plastic pop idols in '88. Yet, here you can hear the roots of legit garage-rock grunge creeping in. This is the leading edge of the shifting tide that gave us Nirvana.
And it's good. Is it noisy and weird? Well, yes. This is post-punk, after all. But it's still good. Really good.
Japan
2/5
Man, what is it with these wave bands? New wave, darkwave, synthwave... they all sound exactly the same. Sine/saw synth over cheap-sounding drums, overly-dramatic lyrics that are also somehow super shallow, and that vocal style... whatever that is. You know what I'm talking about. Every wave band vocalist sounds exactly the same.
There are SO MANY albums that sound exactly like this on the list. We don't need so damn many. I'm super over it.
Mandatory 1-star deduction for unnecessary saxophones.
Aerosmith
4/5
I gotta be honest. I fully expected to score this one pretty low when I hit play. Aerosmith is just so cheesy that I thought, "there's no way this is good."
And it IS cheesy. It's very much an "I'm still cool" dad rock album. But it's also really fun. Sure, the lyrics are, by and large, vapid and unimaginative. But it's FUN.
There are moments where brilliance shine through as well. There's some legitimately great musicianship here. It's just buried under a mountain of cheese.
Anyway, it was good enough to scrape a 4-star rating but, in no world is this even close to a 5-star album.
Deee-Lite
3/5
Well, that could have been worse. I expected it to be terrible and it wasn't so there's that.
That said, these lyrics are beyond stupid and the vocals are... I don't know. The word that keeps coming to mind is "basic". There's just nothing much there.
But it could have been so much worse.
The The
2/5
No. No, just stop it. Nobody wants your bad Bowie impression, your cheap synth sounds, or your high school drama class lyrics. Nobody. Just stop.
PJ Harvey
3/5
While this is probably some of Harvey's better songwriting, the production is just SO inconsistent. I cannot fathom the reasoning behind so many of these mixing choices. Which is wild given Albini's CV. This is the same guy who brought us Nirvana's "In Utero" after all. He knows his stuff.
And yet, this album sounds like it was recorded in a cardboard box. It's noisy and flat. Maybe that's Harvey's fault but it feels like a production fail and it's really hard for me to get past.
Lucinda Williams
4/5
This album has no idea what it wants to be. Is it country? Sure. Is it rock? Also, sure. It swings back and forth between the two so hard that, at times, it felt like I was listening to two different albums.
That said, Lucinda's songwriting is stellar. A bit dated with the repetitive one-liner choruses that were so in vogue in the late 90s but still really solid songwriting. In fact, once I stopped paying attention to the music (and getting annoyed by it) and started listening to the lyrics, I started to appreciate and even enjoy this one. So much so that I revised the score from 2 to a really solid 4-stars.
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
2/5
Since Young pulled his catalogue from Spotify, several songs are missing from the album track listing. Which is why the version that's currently available on that particular platform is way better than the full album.
"But that means you didn't get the full album experience!" you say. Don't worry, I hunted down the missing tracks to be sure. Neil Young really does make everything worse.
And there's really not a lot of margin for lame songwriting here. It's a pretty mediocre album even with Young's nonsense removed. Add his songs back in and it goes from passively mediocre to actively lame.
Destiny's Child
3/5
Look, I'll be the first to admit that there's probably a need for more power girl anthems in the world. And "Survivor" definitely does its part to put 'em out there.
But every track is pretty much the same: a semi-aggressive, anthemic beat with wailing vocals over top. There's very little variation and almost zero instrumentation. It's an album built by producers, not musicians. The liner notes back that up with dozens of people credited as producers, mixers, programmers, and songwriters but only a handful of actual musicians. You would think that, with so many peoples' hands on it, the album would be varied and interesting but it's not. Not even a little. The whole project is incredibly synthetic. It's nothing but cookie-cutter songs and assembly-line production.
That's not to say it doesn't have it's bangers. "Survivor" comes off the bench swinging with tracks like "Bootylicious" and the eponymous "Survivor" but it quickly looses its sparkle by track 5 or so where it becomes clear that Destiny's Child is a one-trick pony.
Elbow
4/5
I enjoyed this one far more than I maybe should have. Sure, it's really slow and super-emo but the musicianship is really great and the songwriting is off-the-charts good. I dig the Coldplay meets The Police vibe a lot.
Really, the only detraction I can come up with is that it never varies from the slow/sad/chill vibe and I want more. I want to see what happens when these guys put a little energy behind their talent.
Overall, a great album, though.
Roni Size
1/5
85% of the tracks on this album aren't songs. They're just beats. Repetitive, empty pieces of songs that never do anything. The other 15% of tracks are garbage.
No redeeming qualities. Full fail.
Gram Parsons
3/5
This one was difficult for me to score. On the one hand, I really don't like country. Especially country that's really just rock pretending to be country. On the other hand, the songwriting is really quite good as are the vocal performances. Particularly those of Emmylou Harris. She kills it here.
But it's STILL just... not enjoyable. I wavered between a 2 and a 3 but, at the end of the day, I think the songwriting bumps it to a 3.
Grant Lee Buffalo
3/5
Yeah, okay. It's definitely a slice of 90s music, I'll give it that. It sounds exactly like 85% of the rock of the time. But is there anything unique about it? Any standout tracks? Any singles?
No, there's not. It's an utterly forgettable album sadly. Not sure why it's on the list other than to say, "this is pretty much what music sounded like in general in the early-mid 90s."
Moby Grape
5/5
I was predisposed against this album simply because it was a total pain in the ass to find and listen to.
But I'm glad I took the time to hunt it down because it's great. It's everything I love about the Beatles but with an edge that's all American. It's a perfect 1960s rock album. The harmonies, the guitar tones, the songwriting... it's all so perfect for the time. Even the mixing is iconically 60s with the weird hard-panned drums and guitars. Normally, I'm annoyed by that but this mix is so masterful and balanced that I can't help but admire it.
I'll be hunting for this one on vinyl to add to the collection.
Korn
2/5
Boy, that's for sure the sound of a specific 5 years or so. And there's a reason you don't hear bands like this anymore. It's freaking annoying.
I'll give them one star for the sheer balls it took to smash so many genres together. It's a bold move and the sales numbers would say that it paid off for them. In the short run, anyway. I'd go so far as to say that, musically, they pulled it off. These tracks are energetic and gritty and I think they accomplished their goals here.
The problem (as is so often the case) lies with the vocals and lyrics. Hot. Garbage. Every line is stupid, every delivery try-hard, and every track is shallow. I'd argue that getting Ice Cube to guest on your nu-metal album is a coup... but then there's that Fred Durst track. And that isht is legitimately horrendous. Completely erases any positives that proceeded it.
Ultimately, "Follow the Leader" is a valid data point in the evolutionary timeline of modern music but nothing more. It's not really worth listening to. Not even for research.
The Louvin Brothers
4/5
Huh. There's no reason I should like this album. I am not a country fan on any level. I don't generally enjoy sad-sack crooning and I'm not into the whole murder ballad aesthetic.
And yet...
This album is a masterclass in performance and engineering. This is from back in the "do it all live in a single take" days of recording. There's no room for mistakes. And there are none. These boys know their art and are very good at it. It's hard not to get sucked into the storytelling when the performances are this good.
So. Here I am. Giving good marks to, of all things, an old country album about murder and lost love. Strange days.
The Fall
4/5
Man, I enjoyed the hell out of that. It's about as punk as it gets so, if that's not your bag, it's gonna be a heavy listen.
But it IS my bag and I loved every moment of it. It's clever, it's defiant, it's fun. It's everything I want out of my punk albums PLUS sharp social commentary. I got nothing but good feels for this one.
It's a real shame they didn't keep this vibe and, instead, went down the post-punk electronica route on later albums.
Einstürzende Neubauten
1/5
I mean, it's all been said. This is literal garbage. I mean it's actually the sound of garbage being smashed into other garbage.
At no point did I think, "wait, is that music?" Because at no point did it approach musicality.
Oof. I'm glad that's over with.
Holger Czukay
2/5
It could have been worse. Having had Einstürzende Neubauten's "Kollaps" yesterday, I now know the depths to which "gernan art music" can sink. Luckily THIS is not THAT.
Unfortunately, this is also not great. It's weird and eclectic and disjointed. It feels a bit like a Frankenstein's monster of an album. A bunch of disparate parts sewn together and zapped with electricity in the hopes of creating some semblance of an album.
All that to say, I didn't enjoy it. But it wasn't as bad as it could have been.
Meat Puppets
3/5
I mean... okay? It's... something. There are times when the guitar work or lyrics are really smart but only moments. And man, ol' boy Curt there just can't carry a tune, can he?
I don't know. I'm not sure I get the appeal of this one or understand why it's on the list. While I recognize several of these tracks, the album itself is a mess. The only reason I'm scoring this as high as I am is because Spot's production is just really great (as one should expect).
Megadeth
4/5
I know it's dumb but, man, is it ever fun. It's hard to dislike Megadeath. They lay down such serious shreds while never taking themselves too seriously. I love that.
The grooves here are so solid, the breakdowns so good, and the guitar riffs are a masterclass is glorious brutality. There's a lot for a rock fan to love here, honestly.
Are the lyrics fantastic? Hell no. But nobody ever hit play on a band called "Megadeath" expecting world-class lyricism. That's not what you're here for. You're hare for the shreds. And Megadeath delivers.
Throwing Muses
3/5
Yeah, that was pretty alright. It was fun and unique in a lot of good ways. Strong energy, good production, solid performances. Pretty dang alright, indeed. I don't see myself revisiting it, mind you. But I'm glad to have experienced it.
Cocteau Twins
2/5
No, no I don't think so. This is so bland and boring that it borders on frustrating. But it never quite makes it to frustrating. Which is a shame because then I'd have at least felt SOMETHING for these songs. What a useless waste of time.
Ray Price
3/5
"Night Life" is a perfect example of the country songwriting formula. You can anticipate the rhymes, the cadence never varies, and the songwriting stays in its assigned lanes of heartache, heartbreak, and light lawbreaking.
It's actually such a perfect example of the formula that it's hard to fault it. Am I into the whole weepy steel guitar sound? No. Do I love the whole sad-sack crooner schtick? Not even a bit. But, for what this is, it's really not bad.
Animal Collective
2/5
It's apparent that the Animal Collective songwriting philosophy is: have a basic idea and beat it into the ground. It's not entirely without virtue but every. single. song. is intensely repetitive. At first, it was fine but it quickly became maddening.
Ryan Adams
5/5
When I was in college, I had a friend who got really into Ryan Adams. At the time, I was diving down my own rabbit hole of metal and hardcore so I wasn't interested in this soft-spoken singer songwriter stuff.
Now, with the benefit of age, I can truly appreciate the skill and talent of Mr..Adams. This is a great album. Beautiful writing, fantastic performance, dang near perfect production. Great all the way around.
My buddy was right. This is really good
Scott Walker
1/5
Frustratingly sexist, garbage vibrato, lounge-lizard, disco-adjacent trash vocals laid on top of Specter's lifeless brick turd production.
I hated everything about this pretentious, cheesy, corpse of a record.
Public Image Ltd.
3/5
Imagine shelling out the ducats for a 3-disc set of 45s in a special, metal, collector's-edition case and then finding out that the whole first disc is completely unlistenable.
John Lydon is possibly a genius, probably a nutjob, and definitely a jerk for making people who buy his albums suffer through at least three tracks of utter garbage before he gives them something that resembles a song. That was true of Public Image's first release and it holds true here as well. It's not until track 4, "Poptones", which is the first track of disc 2 in the original pressing, that we start to get legit songs from Lydon and his boys.
This one started as a 1-star and slowly clawed its way up to a 3-star album for me.
Steve Winwood
1/5
I did not enjoy this cut-rate, Peter Gabriel knockoff, Casio keyboard, yacht rock turd of an album.
The opening track, "When You See A Chance" is considered Winwood's best work and, friends, I gotta be honest. That's not a compliment. It's bad. The drum sounds are cartoonishly fake and the synths are bad even for the time.
I tried really hard to find something good here but, the more I listened, the more frustrated I became that THIS is what Winwood decided to do with his solo career. So much talent just... gone to waste.
Coldplay
4/5
I think my initial impressions, upon listening to this in college, were correct. It's just so emo. At the time I was neck-deep in the hardcore scene and couldn't be bothered by this sad-sack singer who desperately needed a hug and I dismissed it as useless.
Where I diverge from my college self is that I no longer think this is useless. Old me finds this album hauntingly beautiful, incredibly salient, and deeply compelling. It IS still sad-sack emo music but, now that I'm older and have mellowed out, I'm kinda digging that vibe.
I'm glad that Coldplay evolved as a band, though. The more energetic offerings of "Rush of Blood to the Head" and "X & Y" are steps above this debut album. But they wouldn't have gotten there without starting here and I'm thankful for it.
Caetano Veloso
1/5
Look, I certainly don't think that everything on the list needs to rock an above-the-equator, western-culture aesthetic. There SHOULD be some cultural representation from around the world.
But this? This whole Tropicália thing? It's just a mess as a genre. It has the potential for brilliance but seems to ALWAYS slip sideways into cheesy tropes instead. I started this album with a whole lot of grace in my heart... which eroded away into bitter anger that I had to listen to a whole album of cheeseball drivel.
Hard pass.
Hot Chip
3/5
Yeah, I mean... It's alright. Better than 90% of the electronic albums on this list. In fact, the first half is really good. But there's some BS on the back half that took the score down a few notches. Not bad overall, though.
Earth, Wind & Fire
4/5
Yeah, that's good stuff. The songwriting, the musicianship, the production - all truly top-notch. So much funky soul. Really great.
The only detraction is the indelible stank of disco. It's not entirely their fault. Pretty much everything from this time period stinks of it almost and it feels wrong to dock 'em a star for what was a nearly universal problem in music at the time. But I'm going to because disco is the worst.
The Doors
5/5
There's one hell of a blues record hiding behind a few, well-known rock tracks here. I legitimately loved it even though I felt like the victim of a bait-and-switch scam.
No complaints, only good vibes. Full marks.
Les Rythmes Digitales
1/5
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... not songwriting.
At the risk of sounding all "get off my lawn," come talk to me when you can write a damn song.
Until then, get off my lawn.
David Crosby
4/5
Yeah, that's good.
It still has the indelible stink of Neil Young on it, but still manages to be a compelling, enjoyable piece of songwriting and storytelling .
There's not much to hate here and a whole lot to enjoy.
The Fall
4/5
Those are some really solid post-punk jams right there. The production in particular is surprisingly sophisticated for the time and the genre. But the songwriting and performances are good as well. Are they fantastic? Nah. But it's still a really solid album.
Objectively, this is probably a 3-star album. But I found myself tapping my foot and bobbing my head more often than not and, well, this is my kind of scene. Sometimes, we can throw an extra star at something just because we like it, right?
4 stars. Thanks for the good times.
The Libertines
5/5
I loved everything about this one. It's got just about everything I love about punk without actually being punk. The energy, the aesthetics, the devil-may-care attitude, even the little musical tropes of punk... it's all there. It feels like the spiritual successor or the evolution of The Clash. The songwriting is smart and self-aware, the musicianship is so good, the production is fantastic...
There's a lot of garbage that seems to have made it onto the list just because it's British. This ain't that. THIS is legitimately great. What a fun surprise.
Big Star
4/5
This is a very respectable early-to-mid-70s rock album. It sounds exactly like I imagine it was supposed to: somewhere between the Beatles and the Stones.
Unfortunately, they got lost somewhere in the middle and the result is a mostly middling album. It never pushes any boundaries. It's totally serviceable but, ultimately, just... alright.
Upgraded a star because the production is truly fantastic for an album from '72. Just really great. Chris Bell knew what he was doing in a studio.
Justin Timberlake
3/5
I wanted to hate this. I expected to give it a single star and move on to something better. But, while there is a lot here to actively dislike, there's also a lot here that forms a compelling argument for JT's enduring presence in pop culture.
The songs are mostly dumb, let's just make that clear. The subject matter is shallow and repetitive to an extreme degree. But they're built exceptionally well. There's a deep understanding here of what works and what compels listeners to stick around.
Not that I credit JT with that. He's mostly just an excellent vocal talent packaged in a pretty face. But he's managed to pull together a team that knew exactly how to leverage his skills to maximum effect.
In the end, I can't, in good conscience, fail the record. I still didn't enjoy it but I also can't hate the skill and, maybe more importantly, the psychological and sociological understanding on display. This is an album that understands its audience and plays directly to what moves them. That's worth some stars.
Circle Jerks
5/5
I make no apologies for liking this. I'm a punk kid and always have been. Circle Jerks isn't even a guilty pleasure for me. It's just a pleasure.
Hardcore punk is its own thing distinct from mainstream punk and has its own job to do. Circle Jerks understands the assignment and delivers with "Group Sex". It takes the joyful abandon of punk and adds in a hard, ragged edge of anger and, as a kid, that really spoke to me. I mean, damn... as an adult in today's sociopolitical hellscape, that STILL speaks to me. Bands like Circle Jerks, Bad Brains, Black Flag, Dead Kennedys, and Minor Threat feel even more relevant now than they did then. I mean, how can you NOT identify with a song like "World Up My Ass"? That's actual life succinctly summed up in just over a minute.
Yeah, no apologies. This is hella great.
Malcolm McLaren
2/5
What a mess. I think the fact that ol' Malcolm calls himself an "impresario" and not a "musician" is telling. This album is just a jumbled mish-mash of musical concepts. Nothing really works and it never really comes together into anything coherent.
Also, the wiki article states that this album "proved to be highly influential in bringing hip hop to a wider audience in the United Kingdom." The thought of this being anyone's introduction to hip hop makes me just SO. SAD.
I'd flunk "Duck Rock" on principle but the actual musicianship isn't terrible and there are some fun concepts on display... even if they are poorly executed.
Massive Attack
3/5
This album was my introduction to trip hop back in the day and, for that reason, I have a soft spot for it. But it hasn't aged all that well. The synths aren't the best, the mix is just so-so, and these lyrics are pretty lame.
But the point of trip hop isn't the lyrics. The point of trip hop is the vibe. And Massive Attack nails the vibe 90% of the time. It really is a great example of the genre.
The problem is that 45 minutes of it in a sitting is exhausting. In a mix, these tracks slap. In an album, they're a slog.
Stan Getz
2/5
Bossa nova? More like bossa no-thanks, amirite?
Talk about a boring genre. It's just utterly empty of energy. Just... flaccid saxophones, lazy guitars, and near-comatose vocals all day long. Seriously, being a bossa nova drummer has to be the most boring gig in music.
And don't get me started on the obnoxious stereo mix. Almost everything is hard-panned and the mix is unbalanced. And, at times the bass completely overdrives the mic. Which is WILD considering how apathetic the bass player seems to be about the gig. It's not like he's digging in going hard. He's not even paying attention. And neither was the engineer, I guess...
No, this isn't a great listening experience. Not on any level, really.
Fishbone
2/5
What is going on here? I thought I was getting a ska album and, to be honest, I wasn't thrilled by the prospect. But then it turned into a hair-metal album. Somehow, that's even less thrilling. Then there were elements of like... 70s soul? But also some almost theatrical elements? I don't know. It was a mess and left me more confused than entertained.
The Charlatans
2/5
I mean, Oasis already exists. And they did it better. Nobody needed this.
1/5
Utter garbage. Sounds like a middle school band warming up. Nobody is listening to anyone else, they're just trying to make the loudest noise. That's not music. It's angering.
Someone needs to confiscate Zorn and Berne's saxophones. Those poor instruments are being abused and need to be saved. I had to break this album up across three days just to get through it because I could only handle about 15 minutes of the chaotic noise before I had to take a break.
I hate this. I hate every minute of it. I hate that it's on this list and I hate that I had to give it my time.
The Offspring
3/5
It's exactly what you'd expect from an Offspring record. Juvenile ideas executed with infectious energy.
Don't get me wrong, even though the subject matter tends to be adolescent, the wordplay is pretty clever and there are some real bangers here. It's really hard to argue against "Come Out and Play" and "Self Esteem". They slap. Do they slap hard enough to carry a whole album? Not even remotely. But they ARE fun tracks.
The biggest problem with the album is that it's 45 minutes long. That's long enough for the schtick to get old, the pace to get exhausting, and the immature songwriting to get obnoxious. I was on track to give this a solid 4-star review somewhere around "Self Esteem" but the whole vibe of the thing outstayed its welcome by the time I hit the end of "Smash".
Kacey Musgraves
4/5
I went back and forth with this one but, in the end, Kacey's voice and delivery tipped the scales to the positive. It doesn't hurt that the production is fantastic.
"Golden Hour" is a fun album. It's nothing groundbreaking but it's also just enjoyable. There's shockingly few albums on this list that are just easy and fun. Thankfully, this one is.
M.I.A.
4/5
I'm not sure what I expected but I sure didn't expect to end up totally digging this album. It's weird, wild, compelling, and completely different from anything else I've heard.
I don't know, it's just really great. Gonna need to give this one several more listens.
Beck
4/5
I don't really know how I feel about this other than a whole album of Beck feels like a lot to take in. There's just... so much quirk. It's quirkful. Quirkbundant. Just... absolutely stuffed to bursting with quirk.
At the end of the day, I guess I enjoyed it more than I was put off by the quirkiness? It's a 4, I suppose. But it's a soft 4.
The Police
2/5
Despite coming out of the gate with what is arguably The Police's biggest hit, this album is a bust. I can't with the constant fauxrasta wailing. I get that it was their schtick but it gets hella old, hella fast.
And they don't even stick to the formula that they're leaning into! Instead of being a fake reggae song, "On Any Other Day" is fake punk song. And the rest of the album just kinda... drifts off course after that. It's a mess.
The only reason this didn't get a 1-star from me is because "Message in a Bottle" is still a great track.
Jungle Brothers
4/5
That's about as solid as old-school hiphop gets. It still rocks those old beats and the flows feel outdated to modern listeners but, compare the Jungle Brothers to other old-school crews and you'll find the genesis of modern flow. These lyrics are super clever and the rhyme structures are far more complex then their contemporaries. I really dug it.
Jimi Hendrix
4/5
It's Hendrix, it's great. Is it as good as "Are You Experienced" or "Electric Ladyland"? No. It's definitely the weakest of the three. But Hendrix's weakest album still crushes most artists' best.
Roxy Music
2/5
No. False. I reject the assertion that I needed to listen to this before I die.
This is so different from the other Roxy music albums on this list. It's chaotic, disconnected, pretentious, and yet somehow still boring.
Perhaps more aggravating, the guitars and vocal lines seem more often than not to be at odds with each other. Fighting each other for dominance almost. In fact, none of the instruments seem to be locked in with each other most of the time. It's like a bunch of people playing at the same time but not playing together.
The only thing saving this from a failing score is the sheer talent of all of the musicians involved. How they ended up making such a mess of an album when the rest of their albums are pretty decent is a mystery to me. How it ended up on this list when there are already two great albums by the same band on the list is an even bigger mystery.
De La Soul
4/5
I was so close to giving this full marks. So close. It's clever, fun, funny, and just SO skillfully made. It should have been a slam dunk.
But it sure as hell went off the rails around the 2/3 mark, didn't it? The crew managed to pull their act back together well enough to keep it at a 4-star rating but it was a near thing.
Such a shame, too. Cut tracks 16 through 19 and you've got an inarguably top-shelf album. But those four tracks absolutely drag this down a star.
Elvis Presley
2/5
It's just a bunch of samey rip-off tracks from rock and roll's cringey uncle. Why do I need to listen to this? It sounds like a watered-down version of every other Elvis album on this list. It just swings from unbearably bland to offensively vanilla and back again.
Hard pass.
Sepultura
4/5
Look, I understand that this just isn't going to work for most folks but I'm a metalhead and this is right up my alley. It's a legitimately great metal album.
Throughout the whole album, everyone is locked in to the groove and every note feels intentional. That's not exactly normal for a genre that's often characterized by fury and chaos. On "Roots" there's a definite vibe of pure, raw power kept under complete control. Like a pro driver knowing just how much to break around the curves and when to open the throttle and let the engine off the leash, Sepultura knows when to dial it in and when to let loose.
It was some kinda ride and I legitimately loved every moment of it.
CHVRCHES
4/5
That's about as good as synth-pop gets, friends. It's got so much vibe. The only fault I can find with it is that it's just a lot of synth-pop and, by the end, my ears were totally worn out by all the saw-wave synthiness.
Elton John
4/5
Hard to follow an opening track like "Tiny Dancer" but, with one exception, it's a great album.
"Indian Sunset" is a real stinker of a track. I mean... why? What would possess you to write a song like that? Why do you think that's okay? Taupin really screwed that one up hard. Minus one star for culturally insensitive and historically inaccurate appropriative "story telling".
The rest of the album is quite nice, though.
Tom Waits
1/5
I wondered when I'd get this album. I've already been forced to suffer through the other FOUR damn Waits albums (not to mention all the Waits-adjacent albums) on this list. I was dreading this but thought to myself, "you managed the others, you know what to expect. It'll be fine."
Was I ever wrong. This may be the worst Waits album on the list. I mean, it doesn't contain a monologue about masturbation like "Nighthawks" did. At least, I didn't notice one but who knows? Waits's voice is so garbage, I might have missed it. What lyrics I could pick out were super tryhard when they weren't just stupid.
I'm just going to say it: I hate this man's so-called music. It's a waste of breath, time, and energy.
Napalm Death
2/5
Look, I'm an unapologetic metal-head. I love hardcore and spent most of my 20s in the pit. I'm used to the growls and screams of the genre and they don't generally put me off. But, even for me, this is a bit much with the incoherent grunting.
But that's not really the main issue. The problem is that, while there are a few decent songs here, most of the album is filled with... filler. Which is saying something when you take into account the total runtime of under 35 minutes. It's just a lot of noisy pieces of songs instead of actual songs. It just comes across as lazy.
The few tracks that manage to last past the 2-minute mark are pretty decent, though, and save the album from being a complete fail.
The Good, The Bad & The Queen
4/5
That was a delightful surprise. Exceptional musicianship, great performances, and out-of-this-world production.
The only reason this doesn't get a full-5 score is because several of the songs feel like they're... stuck. They build tension and feel like they're heading to a climactic bridge or something... but never quite get anywhere. They just fizzle and stop. They're great songs. But they don't go anywhere.
I really did enjoy the hell out of this. I just wish the band hadn't been content to just let these songs circle the hole without ever sinking the putt.
The Dictators
3/5
On paper, this should have been right up my alley. But, for some reason, it's just wasn't.
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't bad. Just... I don't know. It felt cheesy and fake. I could hear the shades of a dozen punk bands to come in these songs, but they never quite realized their punk potential. I understand that it's because this is proto-punk and not actual punk. But still.
One thing punk should never be is insincere and this project, as fun as it is at times, just doesn't feel real.
Stephen Stills
5/5
I enjoyed that hell out of this. Really good songwriting, delightful performances, and great production. There's such a good blues vibe here. It's chill but still energetic.
I can't really find anything bad to say about this one. Over the corse of the relatively short album it steadily rose from a 4 to a 5-star album. That's despite the saxophones and jazz flute, mind you. The guitar work on "Black Queen" alone is enough to overcome a half-dozen saxophone solos. Which is good because "Cherokee" pushes my limits on both.
Stereo MC's
3/5
I'll let my 10-year-old daughter's take on the album serve as my review:
"Eh. I mean, the music is okay and I like the way it makes me feel. And the vocals aren't BAD exactly. But the words aren't very interesting and they're just saying the same thing over and over again. I don't think I like it very much."
Same, kiddo. Same.
Jeru The Damaja
3/5
I mean, it's alright. The flow, while primitive, is good for the time and the bears are solid.
The problem is that all the beats and bars are essentially the SAME so, regardless of the actual lyrics, everything sounds pretty much the same. Which is a shame.
The back half of the album is better that the first half, though, which earned it back a star that it had lost due to repetition.
Fred Neil
3/5
The first thing I noticed about this album is just how fantastic the recording and production are. Those first few hits of electric guitar and bass are just SO tasty. That super-high production value makes its presence known throughout the album and I love it. It's a shame that Fred Neil's voice and songwriting don't reach the same level.
It's not that Fred's voice is bad. It's not. It's just... really over-the-top. And the songwriting often goes to very obvious, almost cheesy, places. In a release year characterized by albums like "Blonde on Blonde", "Pet Sounds", and "Revolver" it's hard to be impressed by these songs.
It's alright. But it's not super impressive overall.
The Beta Band
4/5
I had mixed feelings about this one throughout the listening experience. At times I was absolutely absorbed by the beautifully balanced complexity in the way that the songs are built. At other times, I was annoyed by what seems like willful weirdness designed to disrupt the listener's flow.
In the end, I think I fall on the side of enjoying and appreciating the work that was put into this album. It was clearly a labor of love and I think that labor paid off. It's a really interesting and compelling album even if it's not something I'd turn to as a day-to-day jam.
Tears For Fears
4/5
You know, I really didn't expect to like this but damn if it didn't get me moving. Is it something I'm going to go back to? Nah. But it's a solid vibe and, for what it is, it's well executed and fun. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of pretentious nonsense here. But it's not enough to detract too much from the overall experience.
Herbie Hancock
4/5
The problem with any song over 6 minutes is that, no matter how sick the groove is, it's going to outstay its welcome.
At 45 minutes and only 4 tracks, that's the issue with "Head Hunters", for sure. These grooves are out-of-this-world good. So sick. Every tracks slays... at first. And then, after about 5 minutes, you're just... ready for the next thing, you know? It really sucks because these grooves are absolutely insane. Legendary.
But we need to talk about maybe trimming this stuff down a bit, Herbie. And maybe rein in that saxophone on "Sly" while you're at it. Bennie needs to just... just chill out with that noise.
The Cure
4/5
I can see why the sadboi and doomcookie crowd got into this. It's got all the gloomy gothy feels but, like, glammed up a bit. Just how the fashionsads like it.
Jokes aside, it's clear that The Cure was going for a vibe here and they nailed it. The whole thing is moody and, for the most part, interesting. Sure, a lot of the sounds are super dated at this point. But it was the beginning of the electronic music scene and it's been more than 40 years. I think I can cut 'em a little slack on that one. But only because the songs are well-conceived and well-executed.
I don't know what else to say, It was a vibe and I was here for it.
U2
4/5
It's a good album, bookended by two massive singles. It's hard to make a strong argument against it, honestly.
The biggest complaint I have is that it's just a lot of what you expect from U2 and very little that stands out aside from those two singles. It's good... but it's not great. And it's definitely not their best.
Still worth 4 stars, though.
Grizzly Bear
2/5
It's a bit twee, isn't it? Maybe more than a bit? Oh, I see. The whole album is like this... Shame.
Nobody needs an entire album of pretentious, twee, hipster nonsense. Just stop.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
1/5
Well. That's the last Nick Cave album on the list for me and at least it's over.
870-some-odd albums in and Cave has become my most hated artist on the list. Which is saying something because the list also has Neil Young on it and that guy's a total tosser. But Cave takes first prize due to his skeezy songwriting and fake "ooh, I'm scary" performances.
Such garbage. Glad I'm done with it.
50 Cent
2/5
Man, I don't know what to say. This certainly has a vibe but it's not great. Fiddy's got that one drum and he just bangs it over and over. Is it classic gangsta? Sure. Is it good? Not really.
The Dave Brubeck Quartet
2/5
Uuuugh. Boooorinng.
Minus one for saxophone solos. Minus one for skeezy lounge vibes. And minus one for being just soooo booooring. You get to keep two stars because you're all clearly good musicians. I just... you know... wish you'd done something more interesting with said talent.
Aerosmith
4/5
I tried, y'all. I tried to find a 5-star review here. But it's just not a 5-star record.
It's two massive hits shoved into the middle of a bunch of good-but-not-great rock tracks. Those hits are true monsters, no doubt, but they stick out because they're SO different from the rest of the album.
The whiplash of "Walk This Way" to "Big Ten Inch Record" to "Sweet Emotion" is utterly disorienting. They don't sound like the same band recorded all three tracks.
At least the album is symmetrical? Three tracks of alright-but-kinda-boring dad rock, a banger, a turd, a banger, and three tracks of alright-but-kinda-boring dad rock. It's a good thing those two bangers are all-time great, hall-of-fame jams. Otherwise this would have score a lot lower. A lot.
Hookworms
4/5
I really enjoyed this one. It's got a good energy and it's a well-crafted album. I don't know that it's anything exceptional, necessarily, but it was a good time.
That band name, though. Hard pass.
Stan Getz
4/5
4 stars?!
Listen, I'm as surprised as you are. This seemed like a quick and easy fail. Bossa nova? Saxophones? Lounge-lizard jazz? Straight to 1-star jail.
But I'll be damned if it didn't grow on me. I can 100% see this being the perfect background music in the right situation. More surprisingly, it was INTERESTING. There was still an energy to it that was completely missing from Getz's other album on the list. Don't get me wrong, it's still almost impossibly chill. But it wasn't the utterly flaccid, wet noodle, deflated balloon animal of an album that the later "Getz/Gilberto" was.
I don't know. I didn't hate it. And I really expected to.
Pere Ubu
1/5
Geeze. What a trainwreck of an album. Just awful. The musicianship is rudimentary, the production values are non-existent, and the writing is primitive. There's literally nothing redeeming in this garbage fire of an album.
No. Take this off the list. It's trash and deserves to be forgotten.
Garbage
3/5
That's an incredibly inconsistent album. Frustratingly so. Some of these tracks are amazingly produced and, almost 30 years later, sound like they could have been dropped yesterday. And some are so painfully mid-90s with incredibly dated performances and production.
There were times when I loved this album and times when I hated it. I wanted to give it a better score but, ultimately, my frustration ended up docking this one a couple of stars.
Alexander 'Skip' Spence
1/5
Uh. What? At first, I was like, "Eh, it's alright, I guess." But that quickly turned into, "Someone actually released this? Wait, COLUMBIA released this?!"
"Oar" is clearly just a demo. It's an hour-long, incoherent ramble of half-formed thoughts and bare-minimum production. Producer David Rubinson screwed up. This should never have been released in this state. Were I Skip, I'd consider picking up the axe again and paying ol' Dave a visit.
The White Stripes
2/5
You already have "Elephant" and "White Blood Cells" on this list. You could have left this one off.
There are no hits here. Almost every track feels unfinished and Jack's writing is particularly childish compared to earlier albums. I'm not sure what possessed Jackie boy to stray so far from his wheelhouse but it didn't work.
While the other two White Stripes albums on the list inarguably merit inclusion, this one just doesn't belong here.
Dr. Octagon
2/5
Sigh. I wanna say this was just a 90s thing but we're still doing this, aren't we? Making reference to genitalia and giggling about it like a bunch of middle schoolers?
Look, the flow is experimental and sometimes even downright clever. In fact, the whole album feels like it's almost 10 years ahead of its time. Except for the subject matter. It's behind by a good ten years. Even in the mid-90s, there was no excuse for this basic, childish writing. I didn't give the mid-century misogyny of the Everly Brothers a pass and I'm not giving this one a pass either.
I'm so over it.
Ride
2/5
It's like Oasis and The Smiths had a less-talented child who was kinda into LSD.
Don't get me wrong, I love the whole psychedelic sound and, when they played that card, I was here for it. The guitar tones were wonderful and this drummer knows how to do work. But, it's an album from 1990 so you know they had to get shoegazey. And shoegaze is such a lame vibe. Quit whining. Make rock and roll. It's not hard.
Overall, it's a very "meh" album and I fail to see why it merits inclusion on the list.
fIREHOSE
3/5
You know, this one grew on me. It feels like a lot of really great song concepts poorly executed but, as it went on, I started to get into the rhythm of... whatever their vibe is. By the end, I found that I was actually surprised and a little sad that it was over.
Don't misunderstand, it still felt like nobody actually WORKED on these songs. It seems like they just played 'em once or twice and then hit record. I wonder what this would have sounded like if they'd taken the time to actually workshop these songs and craft these ideas into something more. The bones of greatness are there. They just didn't do the work and it's a shame.
Ash
4/5
I actually quite enjoyed this. It did go downhill towards the end of the album but it came out of the gate swinging and at least tried to keep the momentum going. Way better than expected from a brit-rock album in the 90s. I mean, it has its moments of pure 90s cheese which cost it a star but, even with that, there's very little to complain about here.
Beck
5/5
I feel the same way about every Beck album. It's just... a lot. If these albums were 30-35 minutes long, I think I'd love every single one of them. But, every time I have to listen to a Beck album from top to bottom, I find myself worn out by the end from the sheer quirkiness of everything. It takes WORK for me listen to a Beck joint.
Unlike past Beck albums, however, I enjoyed the work of listening to "Guero" a great deal. It's a great album. The songwriting is great, the performances are fun, the production is solid. There was enough going on here to keep it interesting but not so much (unlike other Beck projects) to drive me to distraction. These songs have a familiar form without being formulaic. "Guero" might be Beck's most balanced album.
The only complaint I can find is that it's still just a lot of quirkiness for a single listening session. But that's not enough to overcome everything this album does right. Full marks.
Travis
3/5
The production on this album is incredible. The songwriting... less so. Which is kind of a shame, really. Godrich and Hedges are genius-level producers and I hate to see their talents wasted on such a bland and frankly boring album.
Mariah Carey
2/5
Carey's voice is clearly great but these songs are not. They're spun sugar and noise.
"Butterfly" is overstuffed with completely unnecessary vocal runs and deviations from the melody. And the worst part is that so many artists that came after have been direct imitations of this sound. Like they caught some vocal virus that won't allow them to just hold a note.
Which begs the question: did Mariah Carey give pop music the runs?
My Bloody Valentine
1/5
I continue to fail to see the appeal of this band. For a solid 75% of this album, it sounds like the band and the vocalist are working off of different set lists. The vocals just... don't match the music rhythmically OR melodically. Sometimes, they don't even seem to be in the same key.
Why?! Why do people fawn over this crap?
Kanye West
1/5
I'm nearly 900 albums in at this point and there have been TWO albums that I just could not listen through in their entirety. This is one of them.
I tried. I really did. But I only made it about halfway through before the bloated, misogynistic, false-martyr, ego-tirade become so oppressive that I turned it off. Every song is either juvenile in subject matter or delivery... or both. I don't care about your clothes, Ye. I don't care about your dick. I don't care about how much of a genius you think you are. I don't want to hear it and I don't have time for this level of garbage. Grow up, get over yourself, and elevate your game.
Kanye's an overrated hack and the industry that enabled his delusions can burn to the ground for all I care. This will be the last time I give him any of my time and attention.
Lenny Kravitz
4/5
What a strange, disconnected album. Frankly, it feels like the songs from two different albums were shuffled together like a deck of cards.
Not that I didn't like it. I liked it quite a bit, actually. It just feels like what it is: a debut album by an incredibly talented artist trying to figure out what his "thing" is going to be.
Everything you love about Kravitz is here. There's just a lot of... other stuff. Not bad stuff, mind you. Just not what we've come to expect as Kravitz stuff.
Radiohead
3/5
I mean, you know... It's Radiohead. Is it pretentious? Yes. Are they exceptionally talented? Yes, absolutely. Did I enjoy it? Not so much. But I can appreciate it.
The Chemical Brothers
4/5
Man, I really liked this. At least at first. There's so much going on here and it's all quite skillfully performed and even more skillfully mixed. Sure, it's electronic so it's going to get repetitive but, you know, sometimes that works.
And, then again, sometimes it doesn't. This was on track for a 5-star review for the first several songs. Then I hit "Three Little Birdies Down Beats" which was so mind-numbingly repetitive and went on for a maddening 5:38. And it's not the only over-long track. Several of these songs overstay their welcome. Cut 'em all down to 4 minutes and you've got an easy 5-star album here.
As it is, I was more annoyed than impressed by the end. Not that there aren't killer tracks here. "Leave Home", "In Dust We Trust", and "One Too Many Mornings" are incredible and keep this album at 4-stars easily.
Fairport Convention
4/5
I went into this expecting some decent hippy-dippy, brit-folk. What I got was some damn fine hippy-dippy, brit-folk. I was not only not disappointed, but was pleasantly surprised. I enjoyed the hell out of that.
Lightning Bolt
3/5
Well, that was... An experience. Not one I'd willingly repeat, mind you.
But I must say, unlike most noise tracks, these songs have something resembling an actual structure which is quite refreshing. In fact, I found my expectations exceeded in many regards.
While I didn't enjoy the album exactly, I found myself appreciating it much more than I expected to. There's a lot of interesting stuff going on beneath the noise.
Solomon Burke
5/5
60s soul is not my wheelhouse. It tends to be too soft. No backbone, you know? But that couldn't be further from the truth here. Solomon brings the fire on "Rock 'N Soul" like nobody before or after. There's an undeniable energy here that's lacking from most soul music. There's a heavy dose of rock in "Rock 'N Soul" but it never overwhelms the soul portion. Perfectly balanced.
These performances are just spectacular. Burke's voice is so powerful but under perfect control. He's pure talent and emotion. The only other soul artist that I've ever heard who's on this level is the legendary Aretha Franklin. And the band isn't slacking here either. They understood the assignment. Everyone's pulling their weight and working towards the same goal.
It's just... really impressive. Started strong and just kept getting better, earning every bit of a 5-star review by the end.
Van Morrison
4/5
This is the best Van Morrison has ever sounded, hands down. And it really is one of the best live albums I've heard. The energy and vitality of the live show comes across perfectly and the band is legitimately on point throughout.
The biggest problem is that it's an hour and a half long. That's too much. It's just too much, Van! It's long enough for the novelty of the live show to wear off and the banality of the songwriting to start to show through. Because, while there are some truly legendary performances here, there are also more than a few duds. Cull the 1/3 of these songs that are lame and you've got an absolutely legendary album. As it is, we're sitting at a pretty solid 4-stars which is good enough, I guess.
Peter Gabriel
3/5
Eh. Gabriel always feels like a guy on the edge of greatness. Like... he's ALMOST legendary but something about the way he constructs songs holds him back and leaves me scratching my head.
To be clear: there's nothing wrong with any of these songs. They just don't slap. There's not a banger in the bunch. They're all just... okay. But they feel like they SHOULD be great and that's actually really frustrating.
Anyway, it's a middling album. Minus one for super cheesy saxophone solos. Sorry, Peter.
Paul McCartney
3/5
I... expected more from someone who penned (or helped pen) some of the most iconic songs in the history of pop music.
This was frankly boring AF. Very little of this album stood up and demanded attention. It was... fine. I guess. But it should have been great. This is McCartney after all.
Coldcut
1/5
This whole album is a disjointed, noisy mess. And it's not even an original mess. It's a trash pile made out of other peoples' work.
This wasn't worth the time it took to hunt the album down.
R.E.M.
4/5
That's just a great album. No wonder this put them on the map. You can hear the shades of what would become "Automatic For The People" in the corners of "Document" and I'm here for it.
Is it their best work? No. But it's hella good anyway. It seems somewhat unfair to judge an album by that band's later works but I'm going to. This is great, but "Automatic" exists. And so "Document" gets 4 stars.
Calexico
3/5
Nah. I didn't need this in my ears before I died. There's nothing exceptional here. There are a lot of interesting ideas on display but Calexico never seem to figure out what they're trying to do with any of these songs and, as such, they just feel half-baked and incomplete.
The Byrds
4/5
That's a really solid album. In fact, I thought it was going to be a 5-star album for several tracks. But it's just not quite there.
While there are several absolute bangers here, there are also several head-scratching duds. Like, what's up with "Mind Gardens"? That doesn't belong. Get that out of here.
Anyway, it's a good album. But it's not a great albums.
SZA
2/5
Toss another artist in the pile labeled, "couldn't write a melody if their life depended on it".
Nearly an hour of childish, tuneless wailing over basic-ass, boring beats. So annoying. And don't get me started on how inane these lyrics are. It's like the whole album was written by middle schoolers but then they thought, "throw some cuss words at it so people will think we're grown up and nobody will suspect we're just three 12-year-olds in a trench coat."
Stupid. This was clearly added to the list prematurely.
The Style Council
2/5
I don't know what I expected but it wasn't this weird, easy-listening, elevator album. It was on track to get a middling 3-star review until we got to "A Gospel" and musical crimes were committed. Instant deduction. What were you guys thinking? Gross.
Giant Sand
2/5
A generous review might call this album "sparse" or "intimate".
I'm not going to be generous. This album is empty and unfinished. It sounds like someone turned in a demo tape and the label didn't know better. The ideas are just sketches, the production is incomplete, and the performances are lackluster.
I wish they'd spent the time and energy to make it great. But it's really just not very good.
Massive Attack
3/5
Well, it certainly not my most favorite Massive Attack album.
It's got that indelible stink of the mid-90s on it. Cheesy synths, shallow lyrics, weird mesh of genres.... It's all there and none of it's great.
But, for all that, it's not bad. Far from it, in fact. It's just not the best offering from Massive Attack.
Sigur Rós
2/5
I will never understand the rabid, feverish
following that this band has.
Sure, the soundscapes are interesting and the compositions are complex. But everything is just so soft. All the edges have been knocked off so that there's no risk of anyone bumping their shins on anything sharp. It challenges nothing, goes nowhere, and carries zero meaning.
In a word, it's boring. I don't understand all the fuss over something so bland.
Gene Clark
3/5
It's alright. Way better than I expected but still just alright.
The main issue here is that it's just repetitive. The hooks are good, the production value is outstanding, the performances are wonderful. But every song could be easily confused for the one before it. In a mix, though, these songs are all solid.
Nothing to hate here. But also nothing much to love, unfortunately.
CHIC
2/5
While I appreciate the funky bass lines (and there are some VERY funky bass lines on this album), the whole thing still stinks of disco.
And disco is the worst thing to ever happen to music. So, +1 for funky bass lines... minus all the rest because disco sucks.
G. Love & Special Sauce
3/5
S'alright. Solid bluesy jam band vibes. Feels a bit like a Beck rip-off but it's alright for all that.
Bert Jansch
3/5
I don't know, it's just a generic folk album. There's nothing special here. I mean, can you think of any more stereotypical folk song titles then "Strolling Down the Highway" or "Rambling's Going To Be The Death Of Me"? I mean, really.
There's just nothing that stands out here. At least, from a songwriting perspective. What DOES stand out is Burt's guitar playing. Truly fantastic and earned him a star right there.
Overall, it was underwhelming but not outright frustrating.
Devendra Banhart
3/5
That was not what I expected it to be. Weird, haunting, beautiful... it was all over the place. But I was really into it... for about half of the album. Then it got truly weird. In a not so great way. More in a "Devendra has lost the plot and is spinning out of control" way.
Richard Hawley
2/5
Having read previous reviews, I was hoping that we'd get past the oppressively vanilla, blue-eyed soul vibe... but it never went away. It just got more and more bland and boring. Overblown production, underwhelming performances, and bland songwriting. There's just... nothing of value on display. I fail to see the point of having it here other than to pad the already significant number of British blue-eyed soul albums on the list.
Khaled
2/5
It's alright, I guess. Just... kinda disappointing, really. The first several tracks promised something magical... and the rest of the album failed to deliver on that promise. It got progressively cheesier and lamer as the album went on. By the end I was so glad it was over.
Spacemen 3
3/5
Decent space jams, boys. Nothing ground breaking but solid psych rock. I dig it.
Marilyn Manson
2/5
Oh, geeze, this guy... If I roll my eyes any harder, I'll strain something. Manson is so damn tryhard. It's not even good metal/hardcore. It's just lame. And it's a shame because dude's got a solid measure of musical talent. He's just not using any of it here.
Ok, ok. Credit where due, Manson knew exactly what he was doing. He created a "controversial" persona, performed a couple of "shocking" antics, and backed it all up with exactly the kind of shallow, blackwashed altmetal that the wannabe outsider doomcookie crowd would absolutely eat up. And they did. And he happily skipped to the bank in his platform boots to cash the checks.
So, I guess one star for good marketing?
The Beau Brummels
3/5
Eh. Though there were some clever lyrical choices, the album is mostly stuffed with fairly lazy songwriting. Also, if you're going to imitate Bob Dylan, imitate his songwriting, not his singing. We don't need more of that, please and thank you.
Frank Black
4/5
My first thought was, "This is such a stereotypical 90s album. Why is this on the list?" But then I realized that, 900+ albums in, I haven't heard anything ELSE like this so far from the list.
This is what MY 90s sounded like, though. The slightly sloppy guitars, rough vocals, clever but loose rhyming schemes... this is the sound of indie rock in the 90s.
And you know what? I'm here for it. I enjoyed this one. Maybe it was sheer nostalgia for the sound of my youth but I have a pretty underdeveloped sense of nostalgia so, if this managed to provoke a response... well, that's worth a star on its own.
The Residents
1/5
Well, that's legitimately one of the worst things I've ever had to listen to.
Doves
5/5
Man, I really loved that. All the things I love about Air's "Moon Safari" but with more structure to it. It's just such a good vibe from needle drop to record end. I'm so surprised at what a good time that was. Full marks.
Pet Shop Boys
3/5
Well, it's a damn sight better than the other two on the list, that's for sure. Not that that's saying all that much.
My 10-year-old daughter said of this album, "It kinda sounds like video game or cartoon music" and I'm not sure whether that says more about Pet Shop Boys or about the cartoons she watches. It's not good either way. That said, it's far more digestible than pretty much anything else I've heard from them. The synths are less primitive, the songs more self-aware, and the performances moderately less pretentious.
Red Snapper
4/5
I know this gets a lot of hate for being kind of repetitive and samey but it's right up my alley. It's got the energy of early Crystal Method but with an additional rock edge that I quite enjoyed. It was damn near perfect GSD background music for my work day.
5/5
I mean, it's an utterly iconic and genre-defining funk/soul album for a reason.
War pushed the boundaries of several genres, constantly challenging perceptions while still keeping the music enjoyable and relatable. They understood the assignment and delivered.
It's a masterwork and 100% deserves its place on this list.
LTJ Bukem
2/5
Noisy, repetitive, unoriginal. There are some real Jungle gems out there. Why choose THIS ONE to rep the genre? Also, compilation albums are cheating. Which makes it even more egregious that this is on the list. If you're going to cheat, at least win.
Baaba Maal
3/5
I'm generally here for West African music. I love the rhythms and harmonies and sheer verve West African artists usually come to the table with.
But this is a long-ass album and everything started to blend by the end. Chop two or three tracks from this thing to tighten it up and ensure it doesn't outstay its welcome and you've got an absolute winner in my books.
As it is, I can only offer 3 stars.
Big Black
3/5
Man, I wanted to like this. And parts of it, I did. I love the frantic, aggressive energy of the thing. It's so punk in so many ways. But it's missing the joyful abandon of punk. Instead, it's just full of vitriolic hatred for its own listeners.
And you know what? Screw that. Don't piss on the people who are paying for your music, you pretentious douchebags.
The Go-Betweens
3/5
Feels a bit like a store-brand Smiths album. Which, honestly, I prefer over an actual Smiths album. It's still not great but at least there's 100% less Morrissey.
I don't know... it's well recorded and well performed but there's just not much substance here. Maybe that's just par for the course for 80s rock but it doesn't stand the test of time. Not sure why it's on the list, honestly.
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
4/5
Nobody really needs two hours of old-school bluegrass. But, if you've got to do it, this is the way. These are some of the most legendary performers in the genre creating some legitimately museum-worthy recordings that I'm glad are preserved for future generations.
But two hours, man. That's just... that's just a lot.
The Stranglers
4/5
You know, it's not bad. All the weird, cheesy electronic bits were not my favorite, but, overall it's a decent punk album. When the band stuck to what their new best, namely creating driving punk anthems, it was a really good time.
Neil Young
1/5
I think I've finally made it through all of Neil Young's garbage. He's SO overrepresented on this list. If I never hear another frikkin' Neil Young song in my whole life, I'll be thrilled. He's an overhyped hack of a songwriter and a garbage musician. On this particular album, he's an even worse singer than usual. So glad to be done with his nonsense.
Suede
2/5
Someone wanted to be Bowie but couldn't pull it off. And really, nobody but Bowie can pull off Bowie. Which is why nobody should try.
The whole thing is decidedly mid-90s and decidedly middling. Nothing standout, just generic 90s derivative rock. They clearly pulled in elements of their influences and just... dumbed it all down so it would all fit together.
Eminem
2/5
Oh, is Slim Shady fed up with my shit? Well, the feeling is mutual.
There's no redeeming substance here. It's just misogynist, homophobic posturing on repeat. Every track is the same empty, pointless drivel. I'm over it. Can we please put the lionization of these dickrappers behind us? Because hating on women is fukkin' lame and I'm tired of hearing about someone else's genitalia.
Super Furry Animals
2/5
Eh. Basic mid-90s rock with an accent. Didn't do much to move the needle. About what I expected from SFA.
3/5
I'm surprised by how much better this album is than "Skylarking". It's weird, don't get me wrong. Like... unnecessarily weird. But far less offensively weird than the hot mess that is "Skylarking".
That doesn't make it good, mind you. Because it's not. It's still a scattered, disconnected mess of an album. But it IS better than "Skylarking" so there's that...
Girls Against Boys
3/5
Eh. Noisy garage rock. Nothing special. Pass.
The Sensational Alex Harvey Band
3/5
This was 100% on track for a 5-star review. And then I hit "Next" which... what were they even thinking? That didn't need to be a song. And it's so WILDLY different from the rest of the album that it just derailed the whole thing.
To their credit, it seems like they tried to pull it back on course with "Vambo Marble Eye" but then it fell apart again a bit on "The Last of the Teenage Idols" which, while not as bad as "Next", is still a thing that didn't need to exist.
Just leave the tracks that don't fit off the album, fellas. Play them live, save them for an album full of weirder tracks... something. Don't ruin a good vibe, though.
Elliott Smith
3/5
Look, dude's story is super tragic. Talented but tragic. But that's partially because dude was a total mess and nobody around him seemed to do anything to help.
Well, that shows in this album. It's also a mess. Smart and compelling at points... but a mess. And nobody around him did anything to help dial it back. I'd say that was a symptom of the times but we're still letting talent and madness run rampant without caring enough about the person to help them. See: Kanye.
Anyway, it's an alright album but it could have been and should have been better. Smith should have had the time to refine his work but the folks around him valued his work over his personhood. And that taints the thing for me.
Booker T. & The MG's
5/5
Stone cold classic. There is so much talent on display here and these organ tones are utterly iconic. It was a really great listen. No negatives, only love for this one.
Pentangle
4/5
The engineering here is truly fantastic for '69. Sure, there were a lot of bands doing cool stuff in the studio around this time but this album is exceptionally well-engineered and that's worth a star or two on its own.
And it's a good thing that it's so well produced because, generally, this kind of dreamy, try-hard, medieval fairytale vibe would be a total turn off to me. But the engineering drew me in so fast and I got so absorbed in the production that the music itself snuck up on me and I found myself tapping my fingers along with the hand drums.
Very surprising. Might have to come back and revisit this one.
The Band
4/5
Yeah, that's a good time. Nothing truly outstanding but it sure is a big ol' pile of solid jams and I'm here for that.
Frankie Goes To Hollywood
1/5
I neither enjoyed nor respected this album. It's satirically self-absorbed at best. Disturbingly self-pleasuring at worst. I found nothing redeeming in the entire hour-plus experience.
John Lennon
2/5
This does nothing to change my opinion that John Lennon was an egotistical ass of a human who desperately needed his bandmates around him to ride herd on his narcissism so that he could craft actual, meaningful art.
In case it was unclear, I did not enjoy this self-indulgent turd of an album.
Joanna Newsom
1/5
I do not have time for this off-key, melody-less wailing. Absolutely not. Hard pass.
Iron Butterfly
3/5
What a weirdly (maybe even uncomfortably) gothic mix of Bowie and Beatles. It's... good? But also so very "of the time" that it's a bit off-putting. "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" is a hell of a bop, though.
Dagmar Krause
1/5
What the actual hell. It took forever to track this one down and, once I did, it became clear why it's not available anywhere. It's TERRIBLE. I wouldn't want this out in the world either! What the hell would possess the author to include this in the list?!
Throbbing Gristle
2/5
Listen, I don't have any issues with industrial music. But it DOES need to be at least reminiscent of actual MUSIC. Unfortunately, for the majority of this album, the actual music seems to be missing. It's been replaced by random samples of environmental noise and dialogue. I believe that the TG boys were TRYING to do something groundbreaking here. They just... failed. Not at making a statement. At making music. They definitely made a statement.
I can only conclude that Throbbing Gristle seems to be one of "those" bands. You know the ones. The bands that the people "in the know" can't stop raving about but your average music lover can't stand. Sometimes, the critics are right and "those" bands are actually groundbreaking and important. This is not one of those cases, unfortunately. This is an "emperor's clothes" situation. Those who fawn over this album think they're covering themselves in an air of expertise and mystique by praising something so difficult to listen to but, in reality, they're just standing there with their ass in the wind.
It's not a good album. It's just not.
Morrissey
2/5
Morrissey is an insufferable pecker. His band, on the other hand, is quite talented. I hope they found better work after this.
Echo And The Bunnymen
2/5
Honestly, anytime the engineer/producer credits outnumber the musician credits on an album, you know you're in for a bad time. And it was.
I don't know why every British act at the time felt like they needed to rip off Bowie, Iggy, or the Beatles, but none of them could pull it off effectively. Echo and the Bunnymen are no exception. Overly-dramatic vocals, over-produced music, and lyrics that are so overly "artistic" as to be nonsense.
It's not a good time. It's just not a good time.
Adele
5/5
Unrestrained talent belting out banger after banger. Every single track is absolutely saturated with emotion and skill.
This isn't even close to my favorite genre. And yet... it's utterly compelling. Unreal.
Leftfield
4/5
You know what? That didn't suck. And, to be clear, I fully expected it to suck.
House is not my jam. But the energy here is good and the music is more nuanced and layered than most house joints. Don't get me wrong, an hour of house is just... well, that's a lot of work to get through no matter how "good" it is. But, if you gotta listen to an hour of house, this isn't a bad way to spend the time.
In fact, it gained a star for me simply because, even though I found the repetition somewhat numbing, it kept catching my attention and drawing me back in. There's a lot going on here and it's definitely worthy of inclusion on the list.
That was VERY close to a surprise 5-star album for me. If I hadn't been so worn out by the constant boots-and-cats, it would have been. Cut 15 minutes off of this, though? Full marks easy.
Gonna need to revisit this one later.
New York Dolls
5/5
This has everything I love about punk rock but with better guitar licks. It was so much fun. There's something to be said for joyful, nihilistic abandon on a rock album and this has it in spades. Loved every minute of it.
Laibach
2/5
I really don't understand what I just listened to. It's like... it's like the sound track to a b-level Bond movie rip off produced in pre-unification, East Germany. The whole thing is needlessly and dramatically gothic... but without the artistry. It's incredibly stiff and regimented.
Why is this on the list, again? Oh, right. "Cultural importance" or something. Alright, you get a star for that.
The Damned
5/5
This is everything I want from a punk album. It's fun, clever, and unrelentingly energetic. They take on and throw away elements of a dozen genres with abandon but manage every bit of it with skill and ease.
This was straight fire and I was sad when it was done. So I hit play again and did the whole thing over.
Bruce Springsteen
2/5
I get that, not being a boomer mom from the midwest, I'm not the demographic here but I really don't understand the appeal. All of these songs are tepid. Every. Single. Song. There's no fire. There's no spice. It's just boring. It's the plain, unsweetened oatmeal of rock and roll.
The Cure
3/5
This was never going to be my jam. The Cure are the TryHard poster child of the '80s. Their pseudo goth, soft rock vibe just doesn't move the needle for me.
That said, listening with an open mind, I found that there was actually a lot to enjoy here. A lot more than I expected, at least. The music is layered and nuanced, the lyrics aren't as goofy as I remember them being, and, once you get used to it, dude's voice isn't SO bad.
Chalk this one up as another surprise on the list for me.
Le Tigre
5/5
I am always going to be here for a solid riot grrrl situation. I know it's off-putting to some folks... but those folks can jog on because this rips. Gimme all the riot grrrl you got. All of it.
Even if you are one of those insecure machos whose balls shrink at the sound of screaming chick vox, you gotta give props to these musical arrangements. They're SO GOOD. There's so much going on that I just want to listen on repeat and pick it all apart! The lyrics are, by-and-large, fantastic as well. Even the songs that initially feel "dumb" are that way on purpose. They're there to be challenging.
This was a firebomb of an album and I'm here for every minute of it.
The Flaming Lips
2/5
True to the album title, "The Soft Bulletin" is, in fact, annoyingly soft. Like cream of wheat. Or cottage cheese. It's just painfully wimpy.
There are no teeth behind those flaming lips, apparently.
The instrumentation is alright which is why this doesn't flat fail. But it was a close thing, let me tell you. A super-soft 2 for a super-soft album.
TLC
3/5
Well, it's better than most of the R&B on this list but it sure didn't age well. The beats are dated, the lyrics are cringe, and overall vibe is just kinda... yech.
It was gonna be a 2 but "Creep" and "Waterfalls" are both alright.
Björk
2/5
This is probably the best Björk has ever sounded. And it's still crap.
These songs have something resembling a structure and she hasn't yet gone full fairy-baby with her singing so there's that going for it.
But it's still terrible and I can't believe there are four Björk albums on this list.
The Pretty Things
3/5
I restarted this thing three times because I just couldn't remember what I'd listened to. It's fine, I guess. But it's also wholly unremarkable and unmemorable.
The Who
2/5
Here's what this project has taught me about The Who: they've got some solid singles but the albums are pure garbage. They always try to put together these concept albums and it always falls flat. Which is a real shame because the musicality here is legitimately top-notch. It's just everything else - the lyrics, the concept, the damn skits - that's terrible. I wish they'd just focused on making good music.
Pink Floyd
3/5
Here it is. Here's the proof that not everything Pink Floyd does is great. Because this is not. It's just too damn weird and disjointed to be enjoyable.
Ryan Adams
4/5
Adams is a solid songwriter. These are just really good lyrics. Sadly, he's not a stellar performer. His singing leaves a lot to be desired. Which is a shame because the fellow can actually sing. Instead of doing so, however, he chooses to put on a Dylan-esque talk-signing style that's wholly uninspiring and out of step with his lyricism.
Also, this whole album had a bit of Springsteen stink to it that I'm just not here for.
The Mothers Of Invention
1/5
Great satire is also great art. This is neither.
This is just a lazy collection of cheap shots taken at easy targets with slipshod production and no care put towards making anything resembling good music.
The Young Rascals
2/5
This whole album just drips with proto-disco, lounge-lizard, macho guy sleaze. There was one really solid track ("You Better Run") but, other than that one track, there's nothing here that's worth your time.
Ute Lemper
1/5
I had hopes that this Lemper lady could play balance to the other names on the liner notes but this was exactly as bad as I feared it would be given the "talent" that got their hands on it.
It's every bit as pretentious as a Glass joint, as fake as a Costello joint, bland as a Divine Comedy joint, and the lyrics reek of self-important nonsense like every Waits or Cave joint. It's like a who's who of my worst-rated albums.
So, yeah. I hated it.
Nanci Griffith
3/5
I didn't expect to like this. And I didn't. BUT. It did grow on me.
Though these songs are painfully Nashville with the weirdly not-quite-country production. You know, full-on rock production values but let's add a bunch of overly-dramatic steel guitar and fiddle parts so people know it's country? Hate it. And Nanci's voice is alright when she's not working so hard to put a country warble in it.
The thing that surprised me, though, is that these songs are actually REALLY well written. Like, this is legitimately great songwriting. Shame they countried the hell out of 'em. I'd love to hear every one of these songs covered as rock or folk songs. Or even just a voice and a guitar. I bet the demos were great.
Unfortunately, the final product isn't. It's only almost great.
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
3/5
That's some really solid prog but that first, 20-minute track leans so heavily on the pipe organ and it's downright abrasive. After you get past "Tarkus" though, Emerson gives the pipes a rest and everything becomes a lot more palatable.
Overall, an interesting and engaging prog effort... but not an altogether enjoyable one.
Pantera
4/5
Aw, man. I wanted to hate this but it's really good for what it is. Not the biggest fan of the lyrics but the lyricism itself is pretty good. Most of all, though, the jams are just so on point. I can't give it full marks but I it's a very strong 4.
The Beta Band
3/5
I mean, it's about what you'd expect from a Beta Band release. It's good but not great. There's a lot of interesting things happening but also a lot of questionable things. I almost gave this a really soft 4-star review but it's... just not quite there.
So close, though. Strong 3.
David Bowie
4/5
Minus 1 black star for just SO many saxophone solos. SO. MANY. It's just way too much saxophone. Eugh.
Other than than that, it was pretty alright. More than a bit chaotic, though. Far more chaotic than I'd prefer, if I'm being honest.
It's a good thing it was balanced by Bowie's weird, alien genius. "Lazarus" is an absolute jam (despite the saxophones) and the production is top-notch. And ending with "I Can't Give Everything Away" is such a hauntingly perfect goodbye (aside from the completely unnecessary saxophone solo, of course) from one of the greatest musical talents... ever.
Shame about all those damn saxophones, though.
Nirvana
3/5
The hits slap. Hard.
The other tracks, not so much.
It's far from Nirvana's best release and, unfortunately, the hits aren't enough to pull the final album grade out of a middle-of-the-road 3-stars.
Faith No More
1/5
No. Nobody needs the cut-rate, hairmetal version of RHCP. Nobody.
Seriously. If he's not trying to whine-sing like Vince Neil of Mötley Crüe, he's trying to white-rap like Kiedis of the Chili Peppers. What a ripoff artist.
Hard pass.
The Afghan Whigs
3/5
This was on track to be a solid 4-star album. Solid jams, great energy, lots of attitude...
But it quickly outstayed its welcome. By track 4, the intentionally atonal wailing that was such a vibe in the early-to-mid-90s had blown past "nostalgic" and was well into the "shut the hell up already" zone.
Shame. It had a lot of promise.
Tangerine Dream
2/5
Ugh. This is so pointless.
I mean, the PRODUCTION is neat but the final PRODUCT is... just pointless. I want to fail it for wasting my time but I just can't, in good conscience, do so because the production is unique. Not good, mind you. Just unique.
Tortoise
2/5
Well that was exceptionally irritating. There might be some jams hidden in the midden but it's hard to tell underneath the overwhelming trash-heap of noise. The few times something resembling a song rose to the top of the pile, it was repetitive and boring.
And let's talk about that first track. 20+ minutes, guys? And halfway through, it just... changes completely? That's a new track, fellas. And then it changes completely again for the last two minutes? That's another track. This isn't hard math. When the song changes and it never goes back to an earlier musical theme, it's a new song. Saying it's not is just pretentious and frustrating.
The ONLY reason this album isn't getting a full-on fail is because "Glass Museum", while repetitive and about two minutes too long, is at least interesting. The rest of the album is garbage.
Dion
2/5
Minus one for uneccessary saxophone solos. Minus one for Phil Spector's garbage production. Minus one for exceptionally tame, vanilla lyrics.
That leaves you two stars. Be happy with what you got.
Jack White
4/5
I waffled back and forth between a 3-star and a 4-star rating for this one. And I'm still not sure if I chose correctly.
On the one hand, Jack White's weirdness is really off-putting at times. But, on the other hand, the grooves and production are just SO GOOD. Like... insanely good.
I don't know how to feel about the album as a whole. But... I think I really liked it. Mostly. I think.
The xx
4/5
This was almost a 5-star album for me. So close.
It's great. Legitimately great. It's just a smidge too dated to earn full marks, though. For an album released in 2017, so many of the songs feel like they were released in the mid-aughts. That's enough to dock it a star.
But only barely. It's a great album that I'll be revisiting.
Nico
1/5
This album is the poster child for pretty privilege art. There's no way in hell that the Velvet Underground boys and Verve Records would have put this much effort into someone who sings like a cartoon parody of a 13-year-old boy if Nico wasn't an attractive woman. And I hate that.
She's a garbage singer. There's just no way around it. Everything is over-enunciated and sung with a complete lack of nuance. It was like listening to the Velvet Underground backing a small-town high school Christmas play. Which is to say that the music is actually quite good. That would normally be worth a star, but I'm so pissed that the VU boys made this thing that they also get docked a star.
I wish this didn't exist as it dramatically reduces my esteem for the Velvet Underground.
Christina Aguilera
2/5
Supposedly this is an homage to the great R&B stars of old but it's deeply lacking in something that those greats understood. There are very few sing-along choruses and almost no hooks. Instead, "Back to Basics" is bloated with continual, unnecessary vocal runs and empty wailing. Otis or Billie or Etta would never release an album with so much fluff and so little substance. Their songs were memorable. They were earworms. People sang their songs in the kitchen or while waiting at the bus stop. They had hooks. The tracks on "Back to Basics", on the other hand, are largely forgettable due to their lack of any melody or repeated lyric to grab on to.
The album is saved from a truly failing score only because the lyrics on the back half of the album start to unexpectedly get a lot more intimate and personal. Unusually personal for a pop album. Unfortunately, there are SO MANY writers credited ("Slow Down Baby" has a whopping 11 writers) that it's impossible to know how much of the lyrical content of this album is real and how much is manufactured for effect.
Rufus Wainwright
3/5
He's got a pretty great voice and all, but these songs are just meh. I expected more from the hype and left dissatisfied.
Scritti Politti
1/5
What is this? A whole album of rejected Mario Cart songs?
Holy crap that's bad. Every song sounds almost exactly like the one before it and they're all at least a minute too long. It also doesn't help that the lyrics and vocals are all lame.
And, again, the whole album sounds like background music for an over-saturated, cutsie-tootsie childrens' video game.
If no stars were an option, that's what I'd be giving this one.
Dirty Projectors
1/5
This whole thing is a garbled jumble of instruments with a thick smear of falsetto nonsense on top. There's not a single coherent song on the album! Every track is fractured and disjointed as though each instrumentalist was giving a time signature and a key and then told to "just play something neat, right?" These songs are the musical equivalent of a cartoon ransom note made of our cut-and-paste magazine clippings.
This didn't come anywhere near enjoyable to listen to and I was thrilled - THRILLED - when it was finally over.
Brian Eno
2/5
Yeah. Brian Eno, man. He really needs to stick to producing and stay away from trying to write pop music.
This was just bad. The lyrics were dumb, the music disjointed, and the whole vibe was clunky. When Eno stuck to what he was good at - intricate, layered electronic soundscapes - it approached listenable. But it always descended back into "I wanna be a singer songwriter" territory which is a bad scene for Eno.
The Associates
1/5
Look, I get it, all right? You're really into the Thin White Duke.
But the thing about that is, you're not David Bowie. Nobody is except for David Bowie and even HE could barely pull off the Thin White Dukes sometimes. Stop trying, you're not nailing it.
These songs are a mess and the vocals are even more of a mess. They rarely stay on key throughout the entire melody line, the fake vibrato is off the charts, and the performances are... well, let's just say they are "not skillful" and leave it at that.
Overall, a very disappointing listen. And it's not like I was expecting much because the '80s were the worst decade for recorded music.
Slipknot
2/5
There are TWO Slipknot albums on this list?! WHY?!
As someone who spent all of the early aughts in the pit at metal and hardcore shows, I should like this. I did not. The weird, try-hard rapmetal thing isn't a good vibe and the production values... holy crap, it's bad. The snare drum sounds like he's playing on an old coffee can, the kick sounds like someone knocking on the front door, and everything else is compressed to hell so, even on hi-fi headphones it sounds like it's being played through an old shoebox.
Seriously, WHY are there TWO Slipknot albums on this list?!
Scissor Sisters
2/5
This started out so strong. Like... so strong. The first three songs are just a lot of fun.
And then, on track 4, everything went pear-shaped. The songs got progressively more nonsensical and less interesting. The music became bland, the production flat, and the lyrics just so dumb. By the time it was over, I was so glad to be done with it.
Which, again, is a shame because those first three tracks? Fire.
The Jam
5/5
I wasn't expecting to love this one but, man did I ever. The other album from The Jam on this list is a disappointing collection of rip-off songs.
THIS one, on the other hand, is freaking wonderful. I didn't realize that I knew this album but I recognized pretty much every song. And I loved them. It's punk, it's pop, it's new-wave... but it's the best of all those things instead of the worst.
I don't know. I loved every minute of it. Loved it so much, I listened to it three times in a row.
Brian Wilson
3/5
Yeah, that's not the best showcase of Brian's skill. I understand that this was a bit of a cathartic release for him but I'm not sure anyone buy him needed for it to be released, honestly. It's really disjointed with each track taking multiple left-turns within the song. The lyrics are, by and large, nonsensical. And the production, while unsurprisingly high-quality, makes a lot of... strange choices.
This is far from his best work and it's not a particularly enjoyable listen. Stars for skill, though.
Joe Ely
2/5
I hate weepy steel guitar so much. It's one of the many reasons I tend to dislike country music. That and the syrupy-thick, sad-sack lyrics.
This album as both of those hated elements in spades. I'm willing to admit that this is probably a good representation of the genre. But I hated it.
Cornershop
2/5
I know this is classified as britpop/indie because I read the wiki but, as far as I'm concerned, it sounds just like every other jam band from the 90s and naughts. Aside from the odd Indian instrumentals, there's nothing standout here. One star for unexpected the Indian twists, though.
Billy Bragg
4/5
I'm generally here for Billy Bragg. He's a great songwriter and is quite skilled in getting his points across in an entertaining and artistic way. This is not exception to the rule. Sure, it's preachy AF but that's what a Bragg joint's gonna net you, you know? The songs are still great and the performances skillful. Minus one for the sermons but a great album overall.
The Byrds
3/5
Man, if that ain't the hippiest hippie music that ever hippied. Despite absolutely reeking of patchouli, "Fifth Dimension" came off the ropes swinging. Unfortunately, it lost its way somewhere around the ill-advised cover of "Hey Joe" and never really managed to find the path back to great. Shame.
Ms. Dynamite
4/5
The influence of Lauryn Hill is clear but it's an influence, not an imitation and the distinction is important. Dynamite is still doing her own thing here and I, for one, am here for it. The lyrics are smart, the delivery is crisp, and the attitude is sharp. I mean, "Sick 'n' Tired" is just fire from start to finish. So strong.
I enjoyed the hell out of the album as a whole but there were a few dull spots that kept it from being a solid 5. Real strong 4-star album, though.
John Cale
2/5
This has to be one of the most boring albums I've ever had the misfortune of listening to, no contest. Total snooze-fest.
The only reason this doesn't completely fail is because there's nothing TECHNICALLY wrong with other than it being utterly devoid of energy, attitude, or interest.
Just another of those head-scratcher, "WHY is this on the list?!" records.
Depeche Mode
2/5
I think they were going for "bleak and moody" with this production. Unfortunately, they only managed "sad and empty". I didn't enjoy... well, really anything about this one. The bloopy synths. The dry, emotionless performances. The lack of instrumentation...
Just a waste of time.
Barry Adamson
2/5
The thing about a good film score is that it helps tell a story. But there is no story here. It's just a bunch of unconnected, vaguely cinematic, mostly instrumental pieces of music. It doesn't fail completely because, individually, the tracks are... inoffensive.
But, as an album, it's a fail.
Michael Jackson
3/5
40+ minutes of unrelenting, falsetto disco is not my idea of a good time. I know a lot of people absolutely adore Mikey but I am not one of them. This was, for me, a brutal listening experience.
That said, I can't argue with the production quality (immaculate) or the musicianship (top-notch). And, yeah, these songs (most of them at least) were and still ARE world-wide phenomenons. I can't argue that it doesn't belong on the list. It absolutely belongs here.
But dammit. I hated every minute of the non-stop disco assault.
Boards of Canada
2/5
Boring. Skippable. Periodically annoying.
Hard pass.
Metallica
5/5
I unashamedly love this album. Metallica has always been such a rediculously melodramatic band. "S&M" just... leans into the drama in the best way possible. It's so huge and over-the-top that it becomes its own thing.
The orchestral compositions by Michael Kamen are so good that, though it's supposed to be an album of Metallica backed by an orchestra, it FEELS like it's the other way around. The San Francisco Symphony is the star here and they deserve the spotlight. Metallica is just adding texture to their performance.
And, again, it's JUST. SO. EXTRA. I can't help it. Haters be damned, I love it.
Green Day
4/5
I've never been a Green Day fan and I guess I never will be. Supposedly, this is their "best" album but... well, I think I enjoyed "American Idiot" better.
I mean, sure, "Dookie" has those massive radio hits that everyone in my generation knows, the harmonies are fun, and the licks are memorable. But, compared to real punk rock, it feels slow and lazy. The raw, buzzsaw energy of punk has been replaced by a west coast surfpunk energy and I just don't want that in my punk.
It's mostly fun, though. And those radio hits were and are generationally defining for a reason. Strong effort. Just... not a 5-star effort.
Sebadoh
1/5
This started strong but on track four, "Fantastic Disaster" (well, they got the title half right) everything dramatically fell apart and never came back together.
It's a mess. The whole album is a mess. There's nothing redeeming here, sadly.
The Psychedelic Furs
4/5
It sure started rough but this one really grew on me. It had enough of a punk edge that I didn't mind the new wave elements. I don't know. I worked for me.
Jah Wobble's Invaders Of The Heart
3/5
I don't know, man. It's not that I hated this, it just didn't feel... real. Like, all the "world music" bits felt forced. And that's weird, right? That said, the production was great. The songwriting wasn't too bad. Performances were all solid. It just had this veneer of falseness that I couldn't get past.
Kings of Leon
5/5
I know. I'm surprised, too.
I thought this album was only "Sex on Fire" but, it turns out, it's absolutely full of jams. The opening track, "Closer" is such a vibe and the album just... keeps slapping all the way through "Cold Desert".
I tried to find a reason to dock it a star but even the fact that "Sex on Fire" is SO overplayed couldn't kill the album.
Jane Weaver
2/5
It's... fine, I guess. It's certainly a vibe. And that vibe is someone's jam, I'm sure. But it ain't mine.
Production values were good but the performances were too pointedly "retro" and the songs were incredibly repetitive and empty. To the point that I felt my anxiety rising as the songs went on because they just didn't go anywhere and rarely managed to find their way to anything approaching a resolution.
It's fine. But it's not fine enough to be good.
Elis Regina
2/5
Regina has a great voice and all. And I do love Brazilian Portuguese. I don't understand a lick of it, mind you, but it sure is fun to listen to.
But... man, this did nothing for me. Soft, samba/bossa nova jazz is just SO boring. It never goes anywhere, never makes any bold moves, never asks you to sit up and pay attention. It's background music and there's no reason I needed to hear this before I unsubscribe from life.
Soft Machine
1/5
Pretentious, garbage "music" for pretentious, garbage "humans." Hard pass.
Everything But The Girl
2/5
Just felt like a Diet Coke version of Thievery Corporation. And yes, I know that's unfair since I know Thorn's voice from her work with TC. But I'm standing by it. It just feels watered down and safe and that's boring to me.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
4/5
I mean, it's great. It's hard to understate how great it is. "Born on the Bayou", "Bootleg", "Proud Mary"... it's full of jams.
Unfortunately, it also has an ill-advised cover of "Good Golly Miss Molly" and that doesn't sit great. It just plays like another white band taking great songs by black artists and calling them their own. CCR didn't butcher the song by any measure, but it still feels weird to hear anyone but Little Richard perform it. Especially a bunch of white boys from Cali.
American Music Club
3/5
Eh. Whatever. Super generic late 80s/early 90s soft rock. Nothing memorable or remarkable to it, really.
Kings of Leon
4/5
I guess I've never actually heard Kings of Leon before. I've only heard OF Kings of Leon. Because I didn't realize that they didn't have a singer, just a... talker.
I gotta be honest, at first I was really put off by these punk-style talk vocals laid on top of mostly chill, but intricate instrumentals. But it grew on me. To the point where I went back and gave the whole thing a relisten.
The second time through, I was struck by how incredible the musical performances are underneath these weird vocals and bumped my evaluation up a whole two stars. There is some really great stuff here once you get used to the oddness of it.
The Cult
3/5
In the course of doing this project, I've realized something important about '80s metal: it is the inverse of '80s movies ratings.
If I go back and watch a movie from the '80s that is rated PG-13, I often find myself thinking, "man, there sure is a lot of language and innuendo in this for something rated PG-13!" Movie ratings back then were just not quite as strict as they are now.
The opposite is true when it comes to MUSIC from the '80s. I listen to these '80s metal bands that were so controversial back in the day and think, "Man, these are really tame. I hear worse than this on the radio in the grocery store." The big, bad, scary metal is just... safe. Nothing to get fussed about.
Anyway, this was... fine. Glammy hair metal isn't my jam but it's alright for what it is.
Cowboy Junkies
4/5
4 stars for an alt-country album? I know, I'm shocked as well. Maybe it's because I was fully taken by surprise by how delightful Margo's vocal lines are. I expected gnasty country twangin' and it wasn't here.
The decision to record live-to-two was a very VERY good choice. The result is a record with an vitality and responsiveness that you only get when musicians are playing together and responding to the back-and-forth feedback loop of live performance. I felt it immediately and I'm so here for it.
Still too much steel guitar, though. I just can't bring myself to offer up a 5-star rating for an album with this much steel guitar. I hate it so much. Sorry not sorry.
The Dandy Warhols
3/5
Very hit or miss album. Sometimes, it felt like something great was about to happen. The tracks would ramp up, the grooves solidify... and then it invariably got weird/lame, never quite hitting the mark.
Ah, well. They can't all be winners.
Mudhoney
4/5
I wanted to hate this album before even hitting play just because the title is stupid. "Hur-dur, we named the album after these two guitar pedals we own because it sounds vaguely durty, heh."
Unfortunately for my preconceived dislike, the album is actually really great. It's messy and noisy AF... but in all the best ways. From needle drop to lift, the album is full of the frantic, ecstatic energy of so many of my favorite albums.
This is grunge by way of punk and I'm 100% here for that.
Aimee Mann
2/5
Man, that's one of the most 90s albums I've ever heard. The production, the songwriting, the performances... all so painfully early 90s. The kid's toy xylophones, the oooeeeooo harmonies, the super chimey guitar chorus, the in-your-face vocal mix combined with the super-dry, extra-crispy, almost mechanical drums... it's all so over-the-top and locked into a very specific time.
I will concede that Miss Mann is a talented songwriter. But I just don't like the way the songs were realized. It's just way too over-produced. I know that's just how it was done at the time but I don't like it and this is my review, so...
Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
1/5
No. No thank you. You can keep your pretentious songs, boring production, primitive synths, and wannabe-Morrisey vocals. I don't want any part of it.
The Darkness
2/5
Man, I hated this album. And I'm mad about how much I hated it because the music is just SO SHARP. Every guitar lick is perfect, the drums are insanely good, the bass lines are thunderous, all the auxiliary instrumentation is gorgeous.
But the vocals are effing atrocious. It feels like a single, unending, warbling wail from start to finish. It's not. But it FEELS like it because Justin Hawkins can't seem to just sing for more than half a bar before feeling the need to screech something unintelligible in an off-key, ear-splitting falsetto. And these lyrics - the ones I could understand through the screeching - are just dumb. Super shallow, rarely clever, and generally worthless. What you're left with is the impression of a frontman that doesn't care so much about being GOOD. He just cares about being SEEN. It's not "retro". It's not "meta". It's bad.
This album may not have been meant as a joke but it is one.
The Saints
3/5
It's good punk. But it's not great punk. And it's certainly not world-class punk.
But it IS good punk and I happen to like punk.
Stephen Stills
3/5
It's a good album. There are times when it feels like it's going to be a GREAT album. But there are also times when it's really not so great...
And that's the problem with double-disc sets. They go on so long and are stuffed with so many songs that there are just going to be some real stinkers. Had Steve just kept the cream of the crop and cut it down to one disc, this would be a 5 star album, no contest. But, as it stands, it's a 3 star experience at best.
Can
2/5
I've got to be real honest, I have no idea what I just listened to.
If you asked me to tell you what genre this was, I wouldn't be able to. If you asked me what any of the songs were about, I'd be at a complete loss. If you asked me to hum any part of any of the songs that I heard, I'd be completely incapable.
I don't know what this was. It was music, I can tell you that. But I can't tell you anything more than that. And that, in the end, is a significant strike against this album. It's unmemorable, unclassifiable, unsingable, and ultimately unremarkable.
The 13th Floor Elevators
3/5
Parents will get this: you know that feeling when your kid gets a fidget spinner or one of those PopIt spinning it or popping it and you don't mind it first but then they just keep doing it over and over and over and over and over and over and over until the sound of it makes you want to pull your hair out and drop kick whoever invented the thing into the next county?
That's this album and that stupid electric jug. Someone needs to have their toy taken away. It was an otherwise enjoyable psychrock album but damn. The jug. On every single song.
3/5
I'm generally here for The Kinks. And I enjoyed this album... on balance. Sure, some of the songs felt EXACTLY like Monty Python joke songs (I'm looking at you, "She's Bought a Hat Like Princess Marina") but they were balanced out by some really solid Beatles-esque rock songs.
I'd like to have given this a higher score. No, scratch that. I'd like for this album to have earned a higher score. But it didn't.
Bill Callahan
1/5
No. Just... no. Pretentious AF. Boring production, lazy performances, and stupid lyrics. I got more and more mad at it as the album progressed. By the end, I was absolutely blind with fury that I had to sit through 48 minutes of this garbage, navel-gazing, fake, cowboy wannabe nonsense.
Laura Nyro
1/5
Shrieking, disco-stank, blue-eyed soul? Gross.
Nyro's complete inability to sing a melody line without stumbling all over the scale like a drunkard on a boat? Angering.
The fact that this was included on the list and we are therefore obliged to sit through 45 minutes of wailing nonsense? Criminal.
The Boo Radleys
2/5
Too ragged and noisy to properly shoegaze and too up its own butthole to actually rock, this album was a let down on pretty much every level.
There's not much more to say. It's just an hour-long let down.
Electric Light Orchestra
3/5
It's... I mean it's alright, I guess. These fells are clearly talented but most of this album has a distinct disco stank on it that's just distasteful.
The saving grace here is that the back 3rd of the album is actually pretty good. Even the disco grossness is dialed back in favor of a more Stones-esque vibe.
Dexys Midnight Runners
1/5
An hour is far too long to spend with Kevin and his Runners, I'll tell you that. It's just too much.
It didn't take but a few tracks for me to get really tired of the schtick. Why did EVERY male vocalist of the era sound exactly the freaking same? Overly dramatic delivery, constant falsetto, every line ended with forced vibrato... They're all the same and I hate it all.
I don't know, man. I'm trying to figure out why this is on the list beyond the one big hit and I think... I think "Come On Eileen" is the only reason it's here. One song shouldn't be enough.
Anyway, the horns and the damn tin whistle solo were also annoying so screw this whole thing.
4/5
I happened to have this one in my dad's old vinyl collection so I fired up the turntables to experience it the way it was originally intended.
It was surprisingly good. Technical without being difficult to listen to, experimental without being unapproachable, high-concept without being inscrutable.
I don't know that this is something I'll turn to on the reg but it was a fully enjoyable experience for a chill Saturday morning.
Christina Aguilera
1/5
Ugh. What a bloated, ugly mess of an album.
The songs are scattered and disconnected. The vocals are not just over-performed, they're downright FORCED. And the production is so bloated one has to assume they're desperately trying to cover for the fact that these songs completely lack structure and substance.
Just a mess from play to stop. Hard pass.
The Sugarcubes
1/5
Son of a...
Listen, you can't just ambush a body with a Björk album like that! It's inhumane! You gotta give people time to prepare their minds and hearts for the vocal war crimes of Iceland's native drunk-demon-baby fairy princess!
I hated that so much. Every damn second of it. I wish every single Björk album could be thrown into an Icelandic volcano and bleached off of every server on earth. Someone needs to be held responsible and make amends for this offense against music.
Portishead
2/5
I remember hating this in college so I was looking forward to setting aside my prejudices and giving it a fair shake all these years later.
And what I found was that, all these years later, listening to this incredibly pretentious, up-its-butt album is STILL an annoying, frustrating experience from beginning to end.
Bob Dylan
5/5
It's a masterpiece. There's just no way around it.
The writing is just incredible. I mean... I don't have words for how beautiful, nuanced, and balanced these lyrics are. I'm not as good a writer as Dylan is.
The best I can do is give it 5 unqualified stars and hit repeat on the album.
White Denim
5/5
I was not expecting this to be as fun as it was. Totally caught me off guard. The grooves, the vocals, the production: everything is on point. I can't find anything to ding it for so it's getting full marks.
1/5
Oof. A perfect one-two punch of terrible.
Concept albums really work out for the artist, and this is no exception. The "concept" here is loose and shallow and very try hard at the same time.
Add to that the fact that this is a noise rock album, and you're just setting yourself up for failure. There's nothing enjoyable, skillful, interesting, or noteworthy about this album aside from the fact that it is so incredibly annoying to listen to.
Björk
2/5
Dammit. Well over a thousand albums into this project and I have to suffer through YET ANOTHER damn Björk album? I've really enjoyed this project but THIS is the first time I thought, "I'm so ready to be done." I'm just over it. Four Björk albums PLUS the surprise Björk-before-she-was-Björk album? It's too much psycho-fairy-baby for one list. Even one that's over 1k albums long.
So why two stars when I have so much venom for the artist? The strings are gorgeous. When she's not making her stupid face noises, this album is beautiful. Unfortunately, she's almost always making noise and ruining those beautiful string arrangements.
Duke Ellington
4/5
It's great. Ellington is a beast of a player and, on this recording, he's surrounded with an entire menagerie of jazz beasts. It's a master class in this era of jazz.
It's just not my jam. It's dated and comes off, more often than I'd like, as kinda cheesy. And, while that's admittedly a "me" problem, not a "him" problem, I still can' bring myself to give it full marks.
The Undertones
4/5
35 minutes of really solid punk. It's frantic, irreverent, and nihilistically joyful. Just 16 tracks of devil-may-care fun and I'm here for it.
R.E.M.
3/5
I'm generally here for R.E.M.'s albums but this one didn't quite hit for me. Which is strange since it comes between "Document" and "Automatic for the People" - two of my favorite R.E.M. albums. Compared to those two, this one is just kinda... meh.
Don't get me wrong, the musicianship is still great and the lyrics are still pure Stipe. It just feels kind of fuzzy. Like the guys weren't sure what they wanted this one to sound like so they just fumbled around until songs happened. Which is a little disappointing.
I guess every band has their low points and when you have as many great albums as R.E.M., it's inevitable that at least one of them will be just okay. This is that album.
Rush
5/5
Holy balls, the musicianship on this album. Out of this world. I'm far from a prog head. I find it to be overly dramatic and pointless complicated more often than not. But not THIS album. THIS album is unbridled talent and feverish energy from needle drop to stop. Out of control good.
Youssou N'Dour
2/5
Well, that was... Something. I'm not sure what it was but it was definitely something.
I'm honestly unsure how to rate this. I didn't, on any level, enjoy listening to this. But I also didn't hate it on any level.
I think, at the end of the day, the synths were just too much for me, dropping the rating from a "I don't know" 3-star to a "no thank you" 2-star rating.
Brian Eno
1/5
Brian is a great composer.
Unfortunately, he's a garbage songwriter and an even more garbage vocalist. It was terrible from start to end.
Django Django
3/5
I'm surprised by how much I enjoyed this given its description as a "British art rock band". Maybe it was the low expectations.
Was it all great? Not even close. It definitely dissolved into some "artsy" nonsense near the end but the opening tracks were solid and there's a lot of actual artistry on display here. Enough to easily earn it passing marks.
Doves
4/5
Man, that's a good album. The only reason I'm not giving it full marks is because, while it sounds exactly like an album from 2002 should sound (strong Air / Coldplay / Explosions in the Sky / Muse vibes here), it's just... not quite there. It never fully pays off.
But it comes SO CLOSE and I really really enjoyed it. In fact, it's going to get a second listen.
Todd Rundgren
2/5
An hour and a half is too long for just about any album. That's doubly true when it's as soft and boring as this one.
It feels like Toddy knew it was boring, too. He stuck a bunch of weird, out of place interludes in here to try to break up the monotony. And... well, I guess it did that. By making the album even less listenable.
It was going to get a middling score for just being so meh but the lyrics are just so often creepy. Like, what's the deal with so many artists from this era fetishizing underage girls? So gross.
Incredible Bongo Band
4/5
That... was kinda fun, actually. I mean, there is ENTIRELY too much bongo bangin' going on here but, when you press play on an album called "Bongo Rock" by a band called "Incredible Bongo Band", you kinda know what you're getting into, right?
The fact that there is more going on besides bongos was a nice surprise. Lowered expectations and all that, I suppose. The covers were fun and it was a blast to listen to "Apache" given how foundational that song was for early hiphop sampling.
I don't know, it was fun and that earns it an extra star despite the completely unnecessary amount of bongos.
Peter Frampton
4/5
This is such a great record. Frampton is a fantastic guitarist, a really solid songwriter, and a beast of a performer.
There's very little I can point to here as a negative, honestly. It's a bit dared (understandably) but it's still really solid.
LL Cool J
2/5
Um, no. That did not age well at all. Geeze.
Do you think he looks back at this with any level of self-aware embarrassment? I sure as hell hope so.
Title track aside, this is a hard pass.
Madonna
2/5
This whole album reeks of desperation. It feels like a frantic - and ultimately futile - attempt to remain relevant. Lame production, shallow songwriting, and tired performances left me feeling kinda sad for Madonna, honestly. Like the star high school quarterback trying to relive his glory days, Madonna just... wasn't relevant to the music scene by 2000 and she's doubly irrelevant these days.
The Coral
4/5
That was unexpectedly enjoyable! Not entirely enjoyable but enjoyable to an unexpected level. I might have to give that one another listen-through at some point.
Queens of the Stone Age
3/5
I feel like I should have liked this more than I did. The production is pretty snappy for the time, the guitar tones are grimy in all the best ways, and the lyrics aren't terribly shallow (which was a problem with harder rock at the time).
And yet. I didn't actually enjoy it all that much. There's a laziness here that's really off-putting. It has the form of aggressive, energetic metal without actually being energetic or aggressive. Or even metal, really. It just kinda... chugs along until it's done.
Maybe it's asking too much but I want more out of my rock and roll than QotA is apparently willing to give me here. Shame.
Terence Trent D'Arby
2/5
80s-era R&B is pretty low on the list of things that I want to listen to most days. But I had hoped that, as a Brit, Terence would bring something new and interesting to the genre.
He did not.
The whole thing sounded exactly as you would expect any 80s-era R&B album to sound. I suppose, if that's your jam, this is a great representation of it. But, for me, it was just lame and samey. Nothing of note, nothing outstanding, and nothing that merits its inclusion on this list.
Simon & Garfunkel
3/5
Boy, that was way weirder than I thought it would be. So many strange choices on display. S&G are undeniably great songwriters but the production here got in the way of the songs more often than not and I had to work to connect with the words.
Also, the weird sketches? What's that about?
That said, "Mrs. Robinson" is an absolute monster. Hard to argue against it.
808 State
2/5
They say the 808 is timeless. Unfortunately, that's not true of 808 State.
This whole thing was dated and frankly kinda lame. I expected better. Disappointed.
The Rolling Stones
4/5
It's a lot of fun. But it's also a lot of covers which is unfortunate.
I understand why it's on the list, though. The energy and musicality that makes the Stones the Stones is here in double measure and these covers lit the fire that would catapult Micky and the boys to the heights of Roll-n-Roll godhood.
Pretenders
3/5
This is so close to punk and yet... not actually punk. Which is a perfect parallel to Chrissie Hynde's actual life so that makes sense, I guess.
It really was ALMOST a great album but it just stumbles over its feet so many times in so many ways that the whole thing fails. Starting with the mixing. It's got that horrible "dry vocals right in your face and guitars utterly neutered" vibe that so much of the pop music from this era had. That set the tone of the whole thing, I think. Which is a blind shame because, with just a few different choices in the studio, this album could have ripped. But it doesn't and that sucks.
It's just so disappointing. I can hear what it could have been and it makes me sad that it's... this.
The Thrills
2/5
This whole album feels like a cheap, imitation, gas-station knockoff of real Americana. I get that they loved their time in Cali but it all just comes off so fake.
I can only imagine that Irish listeners ate it up for the same reasons Americans love an "authentic Irish pub" here in the US. They haven't experienced the real thing and don't know better.
David Ackles
2/5
Listening to "American Gothic" is like watching a poorly written musical where the plot makes no sense and you don't care about any of the characters. And where the vocalist sometimes seems to forget what key he's singing in...
Robert Wyatt
1/5
I can only conclude this album is on the list solely due to its pedigree.
Wikipedia lists this as a progressive album but it's not progressive in any way. It does not push the art form forward but instead sets it back. It is REgressive. Transgressive. The second track in particular is an egregious, atonal, arhythmic mess. I had high hopes that that would be the worst of it, but I was sorely disappointed when the rest of the album followed suit.
Thanks for an exceptionally frustrating hour, Mr. Wyatt.
John Coltrane
2/5
I think my general dislike of Coltrane is already a matter of record at this point. He was a supremely talented musician who chose to create cacophony instead of beauty with those talents.
And that's really frustrating because, when he's not playing, I can really get into this. Tyner is a masterful jazz pianist and, when he takes the lead, the music is interesting and engaging, the phrases building on one another and evolving in fascinating ways. And then, inevitably, Coltrane will slide in with his saxophone and lay down a series of arhythmic runs, knocking over the complex house of cards that Tyner built. So frustrating.
The only track that I came close to enjoying was the last one, "Psalm", and only because Coltrane restrained himself and actually built something WITH his bandmates instead of actively working against them.
The KLF
2/5
I didn't hate this as much as I thought I would. But I did hate it. While the music was alright, these lyrics are... just really awful.
The Soft Boys
3/5
That was pretty good, actually. Not great by any means but still pretty good. The main issue is that REM did it better and they're already on the list like 4 times. This doesn't need to be here.
Ali Farka Touré
5/5
Ali Farka Touré's album "Savana" was one of my first albums in this project and one of my first great surprises. I didn't know there was another Touré album on the list and I couldn't have been more thrilled to find that out this morning.
There's something just so captivating about Touré's performances. His voice and guitar playing are both absolutely mesmerizing and the way he builds songs, layer upon layer, is just so interesting. I find myself drawn into the songs, my ears picking apart all the layers and following the changes in a way that's absolutely compulsive.
It's not great for my productivity but it's a fascinating active listening experience.
Shack
3/5
I was ready to pan this so hard but several people that I respect quite like this album so I gave it another pass just in case I was in a bad mood when I first heard it or something.
I still didn't enjoy it. But I didn't loathe it like I did on the first listen-through. It's pretty generic 90s soft rock and that's never going to appeal to me. Sure, it has shades of Oasis and that's alright. And yeah, maybe a few of the songs have some clever lyrics. That's worth something. The guitar tones and production values are killer and I'm here for that.
But where it falls short is that it's just... listless. The Shack boys never seem to muster enough energy behind any of these songs for me to really give a shit.
And so I don't.
Jane's Addiction
4/5
Man, these guitar tones are so fantastic and aggro but the vocals really wear your ears out after a while. That said, it's a hell of an album.
Supertramp
4/5
I enjoyed the hell out of that. Prog isn't my scene but Supertramp approaches the genre with something that most other prog acts don't seem to have: restraint. These fellas know their craft and are obviously skilled musicians. But their willingness to hold back for the sake of the overall composition creates an end product that's just really enjoyable. Well done, boys.
Nitin Sawhney
4/5
I was fully prepared to write a wrecking ball of a review after the first track. But I'm glad I stayed my pen because most of the rest of this album is wildly good. "Homelands" in particular is just fantastic from every angle.
I wanted to give this a 5-star review but, unfortunately, every track isn't a winner. "Broken Skin" and "Immigrant" in particular didn't push any buttons for me. They both felt very generic - especially when compared to the tracks around them.
The Bees
3/5
It's... alright? Kinda vanilla. Not offensive but also not exciting on any level. Not sure why this rates inclusion, honestly.
Christine and the Queens
1/5
This was released in 2018?! It sounds straight out of '88. Why are we going backwards with this Michael/Janet Jackson wannabe nonsense? Music has progressed past these garbage synths and trash drum machine sounds. I'm sorry. I have no patience for this pseudo-retro bullshit.
Mudhoney
4/5
If I had been born just a little earlier, I would have absolutely been a grunge kid. As it is, I missed the boat by a few years.
Objectively, this isn't a great album. It's messy, disjointed, and poor Mark really struggles to carry a tune.
But subjectively? I loved it. The over-the-top, lo-fi aggressive irreverence is right in my wheelhouse and I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of this one.
Hand me my flannel, I guess i'm in my grunge era now.
Fatboy Slim
4/5
There were several times, while listening to this album, that I thought it was going to trip over into a 5-star review. It's not. It's a 4-star album... but only barely.
Every one of these songs is meticulously composed and assembled and the production values are out of this world. "The Weekend Starts Here", in particular, is an unstoppable monster of a jam. Slaps so hard.
Unfortunately, Mr. Slim kept tripping over his own beats and falling back on lazy repetition. He picked himself back up every single time and got back to those beautiful, layered grooves. But it fell just a few too many times for me to give it full marks.
But, again: only just barely. Strong 4 stars.
Kid Rock
1/5
There are people in this world who are legitimately into this garbage. It's enough to make a fella to give up on the human race entirely.
The rhymes are basic, the flow is primitive, and the content is juvenile. It draws inspiration from a half-dozen genres... and disrespects every one of them. I want to believe that this is a joke. But I know, in my heart of hearts, that it's not. It's a calculated play to separate angry rednecks from their money.
And it worked. So, I guess... congrats, Kid. Maybe you're not as stupid as your album makes you sound. Maybe.
Marty Robbins
4/5
I honestly didn't think I'd like this. But I honestly really did.
On paper, nothing about this should have been my jam but Marty's delivery is so good, and the musicianship behind him is top notch, and the engineering is great for the time, and the stories were a mix of hopeful and hilarious and heartfelt and heartbreaking.
For some reason, it worked.
The Zutons
4/5
Well, there's definitely too much saxophone here. But, aside from that bit of poor judgement, it's a pretty solid album. In fact, it's damn good. It's such a strong love letter to the power rock of days gone by while still being forward-thinking and progressive.
Except for that stupid, unnecessary saxophone. It just pulls everything backwards and distracts from the tasty guitar licks. Shame.
Really, it's a miracle that this scored a 4 with so much pointless saxophone on display. The constant, monotonous goose honk on "Confusion" lost it a star for a bit, in fact. But the rest of the album pulled it back.
It really is quite good.
The Stooges
4/5
There are three MASSIVE jams on this debut album that are impossible to ignore: "1969", "I Wanna Be Your Dog", and "No Fun". They're massive, era-defining hits.
But they're doing a lot of heavy lifting. In fact, those three tracks kinda carry the whole album on their backs. Don't get me wrong: I like them ALL. Even the 10-minute slog that is "We Will Fall". But, even though I like them, they're not all winners.
But "I Wanna Be Your Dog", though. Hard to argue against it being worth at least a star on its own. Maybe two.
N.E.R.D
2/5
I can't, in good conscience, give this a 1-star review even though I hated nearly every minute of it. Pharrell is such a blatant, sell-out poser.
The intro for "Fly or Die" is right: "this is for the kids." It's so juvenile. The lyrics are idiotic and the performances are straight amateur hour.
The only - and I mean ONLY - good thing about this album is the production. Production is on point. Too bad nothing else is. Hard pass.
TV On The Radio
3/5
This album feels like it's all build and no payoff. None of these songs ever seem to actually GO anywhere. There's no climax, just a build up that just... sits there until the song ends in disappointment. Which is a shame because the actual musicianship is solid. It could have been great.
N.W.A.
3/5
Let's get one thing out of the way: this album is incredibly dated. The flows are legitimately primitive. Rightly so as this is still early days for the genre, but, to a modern ear, it feels very basic in a lot of ways.
That said, the social commentary that can be found in this is still very relevant. It would probably hit harder if it wasn't balanced by bragging about crimes, though. I mean, yes, the police shouldn't be treating you like that just because you're young and black. But also maybe don't pull a gun on a shop owner because he's asked if you're drunk, you know?
Queen
5/5
It may not have any of the atomic bomb tracks that Queen is known for but this is probably my favorite Queen album. It shows the clear transition from hard rock to full-on rock opera all within the course of a single album.
And every track is so good. Every. Track. Loved every moment of it. Full marks
The Stooges
5/5
So good. I loved every rough-voiced note of the thing. Iggy's just so much fun.
Most fun for me, an admitted audio nerd, is that there are two mixes available for this album: one mixed by Iggy and one by Bowie. What a fun experience to listen to the two back-to-back!
Bebel Gilberto
2/5
Offensively inoffensive. Annoyingly ignorable. Listen, if I wanted a Brazilian soft jazz album... oh, wait. That will never happen.
It's not actively bad. But that's only because it's not actively ANYTHING. It's just background noise.
The Smashing Pumpkins
4/5
Man, if only this had been a normal, single-disc release. It would have been such a legendary work. Just pick the best 12-15 songs and walk home with handfuls of cash from releasing a nearly perfect album.
Instead, Corgan shoved every song he had into a bloated, 28-track slog of an album. It's still legitimately great, don't get me wrong. But it could have been perfect if they'd been willing to kill the weaker tracks. Not even BAD tracks because there aren't any. But there are definitely some that aren't as strong as the others and I just wish we could have had the 1-hour, face-melting, alt-rock beast that's hidden inside this ridiculous track listing.
Anyway, it was still a good time and I can't give it less than 4 stars. But you can't get 5 stars unless you're willing to thin the herd and kill your darlings.
Dexys Midnight Runners
2/5
Call me old-fashioned, but 40+ minutes of rambling and wailing is not my idea of a good time. I prefer songs. With hooks. That aren't mediocre, self-referential, half-assed money grabs.
I know. So old-fashioned.
The Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy
2/5
Man, it's not great and that kinda pisses me off. Because the lyricism is heavyweight. The problem is that the whole album feels heavy, too. It's a lumbering beast that never finds any energy or vitality.
It doesn't help that the flows are primitive and just... so... slow. It was a slog to get through.
But this kind of socially aware hip-hop is my jam so I'm trying to find the good in here. But there's not much here aside from the slam-poetry-style lyrics. Too bad the delivery doesn't match the content.
Traffic
3/5
I should probably be more forgiving given the age of this album. But I just can't with how much flute, saxophone, and random horns there is here. It's just distracting.
Not that there's much to distract from here. It's a fairly generic '60s organ rock album. It's not bad, but, aside from a few interesting lyrical choices, there's nothing really here that stands out. Aside from the annoying foods and horns and such...
Overall, a pretty disappointing listen.
Kendrick Lamar
1/5
No. Just know with this juvenile nonsense. Is this really what this project is about? Do I really need to listen to this man child rap about his sexual conquests? I couldn't care less and I can't believe I had to listen to this crap.
Manic Street Preachers
2/5
Meh. It's just another generic fuzzwall alt album. It's not bad, exactly. But like... why is it on the list? There wasn't really anything here that I could point to and say, "That. That right there was unique and interesting."
Instead, we're just subjected to an hour of wall-to-wall fuzz pedal noise and pseudo-intellectual, teenage-activist rage. You know, the kind where you shout about things and tell people all the things they're doing wrong and all they ways that they're terrible but you don't actually DO anything to help the problem? It's like they made a list of all the things people get riled up about and set up to write an album that hits them all.
Hard pass.