Ministry’s best record. P69 is an industrial classic that should get more credit for inspiring (for better or worse) a ton of nu metal, too (Rammstein, Rob Zombie, AHC, etc.). I really love this album, it’s got an undeniable intensity and in-your-faceness that’s cheese-tinged in all the right ways – importantly, sans the whole goth element that seemed to seep in elsewhere in the scene at the time (not that I don’t love goth stuff, but this has a whole different flavor from say, Skinny Puppy or NIN). The production is great, super hard hitting drums, thrashy, crunchy guitars (why not lift some Slayer?), great samples, stellar variety in tempo and style, and sequencing that makes this nothing short of binge-able. It’s fuckin’ raw without short changing listeners on all the good stuff. 4.5/5

For whatever reason, I’ve never kicked the tires on Murmur. Monster would be my go-to and I like Green is fair enough, too. This is pretty great, especially as a debut. Didn’t realize they had their shit together like this from the get-go. Dialed back a bit sonically, but that’s to be expected; what’s unexpected though is how tight the songwriting is. Stipe sounds great as usual and Buck’s playing is understated but still carries great weight. I don’t think this’ll change anyone’s mind about REM, but this is an awesome change of pace record for me personally as a semi-fan. Very cool. 3.5

Gets rolling pretty quick, wild to think how many great songs this guy whipped up in his first handful of years. The first half sounds superb: the room, the dynamics in his strumming and voice, the rippin’ tin sando – it really feels like your sitting in front of the mixing board. The less-intimate back half also sounds great, but I’m not quite as engaged by big volume Bob for some reason. Regardless, I’d come back to this one. 3/5

Sounds like a bunch of classic rock bullshit, because it is. Trying to imagine a scenario where I’d want to hear some completely nondescript rock from this era in favor of tried-and-true favorites and am coming up empty. This has its moments, but I’m not about to dive in to dig up more. I’d rather hear Led Zepp for the millionth time. Also, fuck Rod Stewart. 1.5

Money for Nothin’ riff still slaps for being a kinda dumb song. Guitars overall are pretty damn clean and tasty. The synths and extra instruments often feel out of place initially, but end up working out really well in the end. The closer was a snore. Overall not bad bad, but the singles are the highlights. This band does not sound like they’re from England, whatsoever, figured these dudes were from Florida. It’s aight.

Gets rolling pretty quick, wild to think how many great songs this guy whipped up in his first handful of years. The first half sounds superb: the room, the dynamics in his strumming and voice, the rippin’ tin sando – it really feels like your sitting in front of the mixing board. The less-intimate back half also sounds great, but I’m not quite as engaged by big volume Bob for some reason. Regardless, I’d come back to this one. 3/5

I can see why this is popular and I can appreciate this for what it was at the time, but this is so goddamn sleepy. I have zero interest in listening again. 1/5

I fucking love The White Stripes. Jack White one helluva songwriter, and White Blood Cells boasts this skill in spades. I mean, this sucker has range. Minimalist tendencies are maximized, dialing blues rock down to its bones and dialing up the volume – what more do you need than some guitars, a simple beat, and some keys? (Nothing.) 4.5/5

I don’t think I’ve heard anything from her other than “Don’t Know Why,” which is still tolerable despite ridiculous overplay. Anywho, this feels good for a chill Sunday morning. Contemporary pop really isn’t my thing, but her voice is great, she’s a good storyteller, and the arrangements here are super tight and varied. All this being said, this is a loooooonnnnng 45 minutes. Not that there are any particularly bad tracks, it’s simply too much for my tastes, I struggled to hang on as “The Nearness of You” wrapped. 3/5

This is the most overrated Pantera record by a mile. Personally, I find this band peaked with their groovier stuff, specifically GST. Give me Exhorder’s Slaughter in the Vatican or The Law over this & CFH 10/10 times. Still, these dorks had considerable influence on extreme metal of so many varieties it’s ridic, and this album is a big reason why. Say what you will about Dime’s shit tone (something I think people should be aping more often), dude had a style and carved himself a guitar legend niche, I suppose by way of writing tons of killer and innovative riffs and solos. Similarly, Vinnie had his own style, but for me his party trick doesn’t come to fruition until later records. Not that he’s slacking here (IIRC everything he recorded is sound-replaced – I could be wrong – but it just works better for me in slower contexts), he’s got a super ear for drum hooks and really knows when to dial things back. Phil is serviceable at best, technically (a dumbass at best, otherwise), but is the perfect kind of meathead to pull together this fusion of hardcore and heavy metal that’d live on for decades. Rex played electric bass guitar in Pantera… (lol). Side A is loaded with the hits, though if I never hear “Walk” or “Fucking Hostile” in my life ever again, I’d be just fine. “A New Level” and “This Love” hold up fairly well. Side B is pretty uneven, but this is where you can hear ‘em lean into the stomp/groove shit they master on later records. “Rise” and “No Good” are laughably bunk, but “Live in a Hole” is neat, working this schticky classic rock call-and-response thing, keeping the leads front and center. “Regular People” also has some cool lead work, but that’s about it… The 1-2 conclusion of this album is killer, though. “By Demons Be Driven” is one of my faves from their discography – that blend of livewire leads and jackhammer kicks is the essence of Pantera – and “Hollow” is the kinda “Cemetery Gates” shit this band should’ve wrote five times more of (honestly, someone should blatantly rip this off, there’s an entire band idea sitting right here). 3.5/5

Yeah… it’s a bonafide classic. I don’t really have any thoughts to contribute, this thing kinda takes care of itself at this point. It’s pretty much requisite for …everyone who listens to music? Still, I much prefer Animals. 3.5/5

Some of the instrumentals are alright, but Van’s vocals are atrocious and annoyingly repetitive. I listened once through and that was very generous of me. This list can definitely be cut to 1000. 0/5

Ministry’s best record. P69 is an industrial classic that should get more credit for inspiring (for better or worse) a ton of nu metal, too (Rammstein, Rob Zombie, AHC, etc.). I really love this album, it’s got an undeniable intensity and in-your-faceness that’s cheese-tinged in all the right ways – importantly, sans the whole goth element that seemed to seep in elsewhere in the scene at the time (not that I don’t love goth stuff, but this has a whole different flavor from say, Skinny Puppy or NIN). The production is great, super hard hitting drums, thrashy, crunchy guitars (why not lift some Slayer?), great samples, stellar variety in tempo and style, and sequencing that makes this nothing short of binge-able. It’s fuckin’ raw without short changing listeners on all the good stuff. 4.5/5

The production is great even if it gets a little familiar at times. This definitely has that signature Timbaland feel - weird mouth noises, cool funky shit, an ambivalent mix of hip hop and R&B, all in a super snappy mix. Surprising to me is how Missy is a little, idk, disappointing. I’m having a tough time finding intrigue, lyrically. It’s hard to critique because I’m sure this was pretty forward-thinking at the time, but this feels pretty tame and kinda falls flat now. Like, this is definitely misdemeanor-level shit, when I expected some felonies. She’s def got a cool style, she just doesn’t whomp me like I thought she would, especially given all the time she has. Fortunately, the features help out in this department. I’m definitely curious to hear more, but idk if I’d necessarily recommend this one. 2/5

I’m firmly in camp 808s/Graduation, but this is also good. The features range from great (“Monster,” “Runaway”) to weird (“Lost in the World”), but the production is exceptional throughout. Kanye’s eccentricity is on full display here, bursting out in some great rhymes and ambitious creativity, but it’s a maybe a little too much “out there” for my tastes. I don’t see myself coming back to this. 2.5

There’ll never be another like this (or Paul’s Boutique) for a long-ass time given the unique nature of sampling at the time, and that alone provides limitless intrigue for me. The samples are all over the place and though often primitive, exude the kind of creativity only ignorance can inspire. Despite the optics (you’ve seen that track suit promo photo), LTI sounds less like hip-hop cosplay and more like an early hip-hop laboratory. And even though it’s experimental by nature, these dudes really knocked it out of the park with a handful timeless classics (as well as a few duds). It’s lightning in a bottle marred by growing up dumb white kids. So yeah, it’s really fun to hear a buncha punks rifle through funk and classic rock’s greats, chopping em up with an 808, and finding mainstream success in an emerging genre with some of the weirdest (and yeah, poorly-aged) rhymes. As dated as this feels at times, the entire Beasties blueprint is right here. It just takes a little growing up before they perfect their craft. 3.5/5

I never got into Nick Cave. No reason, just didn’t. Yet, having listened to a number of projects highly influenced by his work, I kinda knew what I was getting into, but I didn’t expect to like it quite this much. I found myself hinging on his every word until I realized this was getting in the way of some fascinating and still almost transitory arrangements that can drift by unnoticed (in the best way possible). I adore the purpose in this kind of minimalism, where creative decisions can demand attention as much as they are asking to be ignored. Ghosteen feels very Bowie-esque to me (in particular his later work), the kind of self-aware art rock that’s at its best when it’s fully committing to the concept. Here, a somber, lonely, reflective foray finds moments of peace along the journey, and still I’m wondering wtf happened to this guy? What’s all this introspection about? I can see this maybe like being “his thing” but I’m curious enough to find out. Cool record. 3.5

I remember getting this shoved in my face as something “heavier and earlier” than Sabbath as if either of those things calculated in my love for the group. About a decade and a half later (almost two decades? fuck), I’m here to give Blue Cheer another whirl. I’ll admit I wasn’t impressed then, but I’m curious to try again. OK. This is fine, but BC lacks the foresight and compositional skills to tighten this up into something worth revisiting. It’s very cool from a time/place perspective, I’d dig this stuff on a mix with Mountain and Jimi and the ilk, but as a standalone album I’m not too stoked on it. Aside from the fun opening cover, the SF psych standard “Out of Focus,” and the jammy closer, it’s pretty uneventful and at times uninspired. “Doctor Please” has all the ingredients but gets pretty bloated by the end and “Parchment Farm” similarly suffers from a lack of direction and satisfying resolution. I imagine they get better as time goes on, but for this specific kind of stuff I think I’d rather cover my eyes and pick from any current up-and-coming psych rock bands? 2.5

Yeah idk, I definitely have to be in a specific mindset to really get into Dylan. That being said, I think this is pretty good and fairly easy to sink into. There’s a “mature” and less rockin’ feel to this album, which makes for some interesting sonic developments, most of which make me think this’d be nice to toss on and sip coffee to on a Saturday morning. There’s a few long songs on here which kinda drag, but generally I can roll with this. 3/5

Jimi, Mitch, and Noel were simply ahead of their time with this one. Innovative guitar playing, incredible drumming, expert songcraft, period-perfect production that holds up to this day – this record has it all. 5

I’m not very well-versed in soul, but I feel like I should at least be able to recognize folks by name on this list. So, this is a surprise. What a voice! I’d toss this on if the occasion is right, but idk if I’ll run around rec’ing this over James Brown anytime soon. 3

Fuck the Carpenters (minus Karen’s drumming). 0

Simone’s utterly fascinating vocals had me completely ignoring the instrumentals, which, on subsequent listens really came to fruition as a powerful complement. The soft touch of the keys behind her vibrato on “If I Should Lose You” into the climax is *chefs kiss*. Combined with Simone’s interesting lyrics? We got a stew goin’ here… The arrangements are also really great, from the orchestral to the jazzy to the pop, Wild is the Wind resides in an interesting overlap of styles without feeling incoherent or lacking. 4

I like Arcade Fire. They’re perfectly fine. But, this album has always been crazy overrated to me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very good; I find their followup is less “artsy Modest Mouse” or “Talking Heads through the lens of 00s indie rock” and more of its own thing. Still, tracks like “Power Out,” “Rebellion,” and (ugh, I begrudgingly LOVE it) “Wake Up” are catalogue standouts. Nice to come back to this every once in a while. 3.5

This is really cool and good, like a proto-Animal Collective? Definitely adding this to my current rotation. 4.5

Sounds like a bunch of classic rock bullshit, because it is. Trying to imagine a scenario where I’d want to hear some completely nondescript rock from this era in favor of tried-and-true favorites and am coming up empty. This has its moments, but I’m not about to dive in to dig up more. I’d rather hear Led Zepp for the millionth time. Also, fuck Rod Stewart. 1.5

Kinda all over the place, but in a good way. This eclectic approach has varying results, but my interest is always piqued and my patience is frequently rewarded. AGW finds efficient and adventurous means to its earworms - it’s texturally rich, diverse, and unabashedly quirky. Songs that didn’t click immediately fell into favor after just a couple spins, a testament to Eno’s strange yet comforting pop sensibilities. 4

Never heard of this before but I think I love it? Eccentric new wave/post punk with a retro, almost kitschy sense of melody. Those synths are like getting a haircut at the mall in the early 90s, but the arrangements give them a purpose I haven’t heard before. Vibe-y pieces like “Seagrass” feel at home alongside poppier counterparts, I’ll def be getting into the catalog. 4

Ehhhhhhhhhhhh. This is exactly the kind of middling rock that I just cannot jibe with. The arrangements are nice, the instrumentation is tasteful, but I wish it had some guts or bite somewhere, this is just post-trope-ified coffee shop rock, an elevated(?) Coldplay (gross). 1.5

Pretty much perfect. Alanis rules. ‘Nuff said. 4.5

Elvis might be overrated, but this record does a good job at capturing his creative and technical range. It’s not all that exciting instrumentally, but there’s really nobody that can play these angles quite like the king. Blues, jazz, pop, rock, country western… it’s all just a day at the office for this guy – I really adore his flexibility and comfort in every sphere. His voice is rock solid, that sugary sweet timbre can dig out some deep notes as well as hit a few pristine highs, and that signature buttery vibrato is a world beater. I’ve heard oodles of Elvis before, but you can still color me impressed by this record. Big dig. 3.5

Stellar old school hip hop, it should be no surprise how this got hella sampled. It’s retro-futuristic but still kinda modern some 40 years later? Weird, cool stuff. 3.5

No bass? No problem. 4

First off, fuck Clapton. Second, this is some pretty generic-sounding blues rock… if I’m going to hear this, I’m most certainly going to a local hole in the wall to hear it live. 1

Instrumentally, this album is really cool, I very much fuck with their new wave angle, it’s extremely interesting and satisfying. There’s a keen ear to dynamics across the record, each track has something truly different to offer. I really dig the pacing and bursts of energy and color throughout. However, I fucking hate Sting’s vocals – he totally ruins this for me. 2

Ugh, fuck this band. How lucky that I get Sting and Chris Martin back to back? Hooray. I probably only have the patience for one listen of what I assume is a concept album about Martin’s first boner. Okay enough(?) griping, time to press play… Okay. I’ll never understand the popularity of this band nor the respect many of my peers have for this group; this half-cooked pretentiousness catered to the Today Show demographic is fucking nauseating to me. AROBTH is a mishmash of snoozy ballads and poppy post-rock, a mostly boring tapestry on which Martin incessantly wails as he’s presumably contractually obligated to vice grip his berries for a falsetto hit in each track. It’s inescapable and every bit as obnoxious as the strained introspection and try-hard tenderness that pervade this (what I can only assume is a) Starbucks-planted album. I’ll admit, there were some moments that didn’t make me want to disembowel myself. I liked the drums and the mix is pretty darn good (as it should be with all that $bux help 😉). 0.5

U2 by and large doesn’t do a whole lot for me, but this is a pretty fucking decent rock album. The Edge has style for days and the rhythm section does a lot of heavy lifting and regularly nailing it. The songwriting is really smart and they do have some solid hooks. Sure, Bono is annoying but I can tolerate it. “The Fly” was a real surprise to me, I don’t recall this band having any bite in their repertoire but this is cool. I’ll never forgive them for putting an album on my phone, but for this, I’ll put a lil shine on their name. A pleasantly surprising 3.

I know fuck about shit when it comes to jazz, but this uhhh… this rips. Pacing, diversity of style, memorable performances? Top notch. 4

Like if Herb Alpert had a little different flavor. Love it. 3.5

Was late to this and unfortunately only got one listen in. I can dig it. 3

This is wild. Love the retro-futuristic feel of those synths. “Cars” has been my only touchpoint for Gary Numan, but the rest is pleasantly surprising, connecting maybe even better than that single? I love how “Complex” delivers an emotive twist with the addition of strings and similarly “Tracks” uses more traditional sounding keys (or is this a real piano?). These juxtapositions do a lot for me, especially coming in with the assumption that this would be samey. I mean, it *is* very much of the same flavor, but Mr. Numan works it. Also, he reminds me a lot of Of Montreal’s Kevin Barnes (who I love), so there’s probably a bit of backwards compatibility going for me there. Overall, TPP is a synthy textural feast with some rock solid drumming and organic accents. Sign me the fuck up for more. 4

I missed Darkdancer and now this is what we get for the weekend? Gah. 🚽

For whatever reason, I’ve never kicked the tires on Murmur. Monster would be my go-to and I like Green is fair enough, too. This is pretty great, especially as a debut. Didn’t realize they had their shit together like this from the get-go. Dialed back a bit sonically, but that’s to be expected; what’s unexpected though is how tight the songwriting is. Stipe sounds great as usual and Buck’s playing is understated but still carries great weight. I don’t think this’ll change anyone’s mind about REM, but this is an awesome change of pace record for me personally as a semi-fan. Very cool. 3.5

Holy shit. Am I becoming a NIck Cave fan? Yes I am. 4

Eh, reggae is not my thing, though I fucking LOVE Red Red Wine. FOR THAT ALONE I GIVE THIS A FIVE. jk 2

Was NOT expecting this to go so hard. Damn do “Pusherman” and “Freddie’s Dead” hit like a ton of bricks. I don’t fuck with soundtracks too much, but I’ll make an exception for this. The band is spot on and silky with Curtis softening the edges and enhancing those big orchestral moments with his glassy timbre – such a great voice. 4

Folky punk is kinda ehhh to my tastes, but this wasn’t tooo bad. I won’t be actively tracking more down from Mekons, but I won’t shy away from it either. 2.5

From the first touch of the key I was hooked. Reminds me of some of the stuff I heard when I wrangled up all the punk and hardcore I could via Kazaa, specifically the (International) Noise Conspiracy, the Buzzcocks, and Iggy. I *really* love the diversity and sequencing on this album. “Princess of the Streets” is a perfect change-of-pace track after an energetic opening trio, almost treading into Judas Priest-y heavy blues. Similarly, “Peaches” works that streetwise angle sneering and strutting while tracks like “Goodbye Toulouse“ and “Choosy Susie” charge swifter and harder. It’s focused and fearless, keyboard and guitar solos are often evocative, elevating what’s often a very “proto” kind of feel to something that’s both primitive and futuristic. It’s quirky, too, at times approaching a familiar new wave sound from a different angle. Simply put, this shit is the biz, kinda surprised I haven’t stumbled upon this earlier. 4

This, I do not care for. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This is a stone-cold classic, a mandatory post- jam. 4.5

This is pretty cool. It def has that 90s alternative vibe, but Liz has quite a bit more going on than her poppier peers of the time. I’m surprised that this reminds me more of Sleater-Kinney than Alanis, but I really dig Phair’s atmospheric songwriting. It’s definitely LONG, but she covers so much ground it all feels essential - even if not on a single listen. 3.5

Gah, this rules. Best Carl Sagan-core album I’ve ever heard? Maybe. 4

I’ve always half-assed catching up on John Prine since his passing, hitting up big tracks and not really diving into any albums other than his latest output. Fortunately, I don’t think this’ll be the last we hear of him. This is everything I could’ve asked for and more. The lyrics, his delivery of them, and the songwriting… the guy walks the walk. Love this. 4

Yeah, this is fine. Won’t be chasing it down, but happy I listened, Dusty is just not My Thing™️. 2.5

Sorry James. Can’t jibe with this right now.

There’s just no one like Korn. FTL holds up as some of their very best work, even with thirteen tracks of silence. 4

I loathe Def Leppard.

Always good to revisit this once in a while. It’s not their best work and it’s definitely bloated, but their ambition is realized in this collection that’s daunting for anyone who isn’t a Pumpkins fan. It’s a rewarding listen despite its overbearing presence, the singles hold up and are well-placed. I’d say it could use some editing, but two hours of this shit really sums up where this band was, egotistically, in the 90s. 3.5

This album fucks. The Crowes embody everything I love about that bluesy classic rock sound and GOT DAMN could these dudes write a hook. 4.5

I haven’t ever found the appeal of Aerosmith from an album perspective. The singles always bang, but I haven’t come across too many deep cuts worth a damn. Unfortunately, Rocks doesn’t really make the case that I should revisit those other early records to change my perspective. “Nobody’s Fault” is pretty fuckin cool and heavy, but shit like “Get the Lead Out” had me reaching for the stop button. These more blues rock standard-type forays are just boring to me, despite Perry’s chops. 2

Never heard of this before today. This is weird. Sometimes this reminds me of Beck’s Mutations (an album I really love) and at others more showtimes-y, almost FJM kinda stuff. Unfortunately the swings in energy and style don’t compare to those aforementioned artists, and thus ASAAL comes off very one-dimensional. I imagine this album was a bigger novelty at its time, but I can’t help but feel like I’m missing something here because this sounds pretty middling to me. 2

Rust in Peace is certainly a thrashterpiece, I’m just partial to Peace Sells when it comes to Megadeth. 4.5

It’s still pretty good (better than I remember), but it’s still ridiculously long for a nu metal record. 3.5

Not bad! I feel like this doesn’t quite have the same energy as Brothers in Arms, but it’s more consistent to me. Sultans is all-time great, and the rest vibes so well. Knopfler has a keen ear for those swaggy, smooth melodies, dude sounds like he’s on permanent vacation. 3.5

Just got a cursory listen in. Not too shabby, super tight, good production. 2.5

Depeche Mode is one of those bands I fall in love with every time I hear them and then promptly forget they exist. No fault of theirs, this shit is fantastic. 4

This is where I start to fall off with Muse. This album is really great, but the pop elements start to outgrow their proggy britches here and it really begins to spoil the whip-smart arena prog niche they’ve carved for themselves. Still, Knights of Cydonia is a JAM. 3.5

The GOAT. 5