I listened to this half an hour ago and I can barely remember a thing about it. Sorry. I just remember a lot of really whiney leads, and when "Don't Fear the Reaper" came on shuffle after the album finished and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I'm trying to catch up here, so I won't drag this on. This album rocks. The first time I ever heard Michael Jackson (adult) was when I played Beat It on Guitar Hero 4. My parents are old, man. This album gets better and better the more you've spent on a good set of headphones or speakers. Fortunately, I have both. It's not Off the Wall, however, and Human Nature has never been my cup of tea. Those are my only criticisms. Billie Jean is the most important MJ song (everyone knows this) and so it should be!

THE Yacht Rock album. Bunch of American white dudes realized Black America was making all the swanky, cool music and wanted a piece of the action, and BOY they got it. Do It Again is one of the coolest songs ever made. So is Only a Fool Would Say That. Midnite Cruiser and Dirty Work take equal 2nd place for me. Turn That Heartbeat earns Bronze. I love this album. Five.

I grew up on Folk and Country, thanks to Dad. I'm going to show him this album. The captivating storytelling over sweet country instrument arrangements is always a good time, even if some tracks could be mistaken for one another. El Paso is the best example of this recipe's charm. My first experience of Marty Robbins was that edit of a chihuahua with a hat and pistol costume in 2016. I also had a really fucking annoying coworker in 2021 who played this song relentlessly, which temporarily spoiled it for me. She quit, so I can enjoy it now. I don't think I'd listen to this on a regular basis, but I would be sure to savour it every time I do. The next time will be whenever I drive to Toowoomba. Special mention to The Master's Call, what a hauntingly beautiful ballad. Goosebumps. This album is a treasure, Marty Robbins would have been 100 years old this year. May he rest in That Little Green Valley far away.

Enjoyable soul album to chuck on in the background, but didn't grab me at too many points in the way a Gaye album would. Smooth as hell, don't get me wrong, just nothing mind-blowing like the beat change in "Save the Children". If you rate this less than a 3 you're racist.

The closest you'll get to the sound of a Dad who's put The Incredibles (2004) on for his kids so he can go drink in the garage for 2 hours at 10 o'clock on a Saturday afternoon. I understand the desired reception to putting an orchestra over rock/metal is "this is EPIC", but I'm yet to see an instance in history this has ever happened. What a way to start this fucking list...

This is the AC/DC said father listens to (see S&M by Metallica Review) while drinking in the garage at 10am on a Saturday as the kids watch the Incredibles inside. I still love the title track, mainly because it annoys my Mum. Besides this, I don't understand how you can enjoy this kind of music once you give it more than 43% of your attention. There was better rock music available at the time, and better has come out since. I also think AkkaDakka didn't cram anything else in this album to be well known for. In other words, this is one of the AC/DC albums ever. Like I say, some people shop for music like they're buying a new car or house, others shop for it like they're buying a new kitchen spray & wipe.

Underwent a bit of character development in 2022-23, and Cherry-coloured Funk could just about be on the first 5 tracks to the soundtrack of that period. I get misty-eyed and nostalgic at the opening riff of this tune, sometimes even now. What an opener. What a great song to listen to as you've just opened the cafe and the sun's coming up on a crisp early winter morning (as I did many times, fuck off Marko). This album, uninterrupted is going to be an absolute treat this morn- - Nevermind, my work phone's ringing. As for the rest of the album, I've had a couple tracks outside of the big 2 saved, but I can honestly appreciate it even more in sequence. I might grab this as a vinyl. As lame as this come across, this album is what I imagine the 90s did sound like. Heaven or Las Vegas even my Dad liked, and doesn't like anything I show him. Fifty-fifty clown is the only track here I'm not so big on.

I'd like to thank Elvis Costello for this album. Because I enjoyed it? Fuck no. I'm 5-6 albums deep into reviewing this list and catching up, so my ratings still obviously require a bit of calibration. I'm realising now my 2-star rating for Van Halen was a tad harsh - there was nothing I specifically didn't like about that album, it was just a bit of an overdriven-lead-guitar blur. This shit, however, is my new benchmark for a 2-star album. Good grief. I genuinely went in optimistic, having heard folks praise Costello as one of the best songwriters of his time. My listening notes were as follows: Track One : "Something about this is annoying. Can't put my finger on it. Hoping for better after this opener." Track Two: "Nevermind, I know exactly what it is. There is a horrific disharmony between the instrumentation and vocals. Surely this smooths out later in the album" ... Track Five: "Fuck this. Could the man have just done another take? On ANY of the songs? Why does this sound like Elvis Costello doing drunk karaoke of Elvis Costello?" This album was fundamentally irritating to listen to (even "I Want You" to an extent) and I genuinely think this is the musical equivalent of enjoying ultra-stinky cheeses like Blue Vein; it's horrible, but you've consumed so much of the normal stuff you just want to feel something. Honestly, if you enjoyed this, just stop listening to music for a while. Let your cochlear nerve recover. The only redeeming part of this album is some solid rhythm lines and production which save it for fleeting moments where Elvis just shuts the fuck up. If Costello dropped an instrumental version, I'd honestly give it a listen. This is my first angry review.

Here we go again. Another album whose first-track prognosis proves itself correct. What’s that you ask? My thoughts 30 seconds in were “Oh, right, it’s loser music!” “Jc hates Faggots” didn’t garner sympathy from me. I’m just homophobic now. Also, he managed to do a whole “We Are the World” of slurs in the process. Like, dude, dry 2010 GarageBand backings that my primary school piano teacher could have put together with an IKEA-unique American accent singing tragically unwitty lines over it should never have sold this well. Furthermore, this album should not be in this list. My tendency to dislike music that people I don’t want to be like would listen to has been reaffirmed after listening to this sleepy faggot moan over a non-copyright instrumental for 69 minutes.

I really liked the song where Colin Newman yells “one two three four” before overdriven guitars and bass. Seriously though, it’s a pretty homogenous listening experience start to end, but the title track definitely stands out. Also enjoyed Ex Lion Tamer and 1 2 X U. I definitely understand now where Hockey Dad got their early guitar presets from. Seriously though, not much to dislike here, just not super memorable 70% of the time.

This was a great album for the weekend. No complaints here. Charistmatic Brit Pop. Don't know why, but the name "Duran Duran" has always given me the ick, as the girlies would say. I'm not kidding. It is for that exact reason I abstained from exploring their discography besides Girls on Film. What a pleasant surprise! This is an album I'd happily chuck on for a drive. Really nicely produced. Adequate big-room drums that Patrick Bateman would boogie to off his Harman/Kardon multi-CD system. It's just too short, and Save a Prayer/New Religion just don't do it for me, especially the latter. They just sound like worse repackages of other songs on here. I wish there was a bit more punch packed into this album. I wish the lyrics pierced through the wall of reverb a bit more - not with volume, but with substance. Enjoyed: Lonely In Your Nightmare, Hungry Like the Wolf, Last Chance on the Stairway. 6.5/10

I mean, what hasn't already been said? This album paved the way, it's possibly the most famous Jazz record ever published, it's genre-defining, the copy list of praises goes on. I first listened to this album at age 14 because I got into Jazz rap (thanks Rejjie Snow) and went down the Mac Miller - Joey Bada$$ - Madlib - Duke Ellington pipeline. This record still fucks. I still enjoy it uninterruped, but honestly? There's even BETTER Coltrane Records out there: Ballads, Coltrane and Ellington, Impulse (especially). That's what makes him so good. His most famous album isn't his most accessible nor his most interesting, but it's still a solid 9 out of 10. It would be wrong to give it a 4 even though there's likely albums on here with a 4 I *personally* enjoy and listen to more. My own taste doesn't deserve to swing this rating too much. Have your 5 stars, John lad. Time to go listen to Wise One (your best track).

This album provides a taste of what adding a little too much big-hall reverb glamour and glitter sound effects does to RnB. The tier of albums it belongs to is just like the frequency response of the ceiling speaker it's usually coming out of: only the mids. Sweet Love is a good song, but again, all I can think of is walking out of a shopping centre at 6pm after a tired post-work Tuesday grocery shop, when half the shops have turned their lights off and the cleaner has just stopped giving a fuck about leaving wet floor signs around. Been So Long is technically good but fails to grab me at any point. Overall, this album just left me bored of her voice, jumping around the frequency register for the sake of doing so. What it did leave was an awesome soundscape for 25+ years of Hip Hop Sampling. Good job Anita.

Ah yes, more anemic rock. Goodie. I think my 2-star rating has been dialled in correctly now. This album explains to me the hopeless, worthless demeanour you see amongst some Gen X folk. No wonder - they listened to this growing up. It sounds like they modelled their half-singing-half-talking vocals off “Hey” by the Pixies, but just decided that didn’t sound lethargic enough. Conduit for Sale had a bit of punch, and I can honestly say that’s where I stopped listening to the full tracks. I really want the writers of this book to look at me dead in the eye and tell me this needed to be here because they listen to it frequently. 4/10

My Volkswagen polo has recently had an issue where my Bluetooth will start up and cut out along the drive. While listening to this album, I couldn’t tell if this was happening or if it was just the production choices of this album. It feels like the equivalent of throwing a knife across the map at the start of a Call of Duty match, that is to say the one time the knife hit another player M.I.A. and her producers created one of the most iconic and innovative pop tunes of the late 2000s. Funnier still, this track wasn’t even meant to be on the album in the first place. While I appreciate M.I.A. getting a bunch of Wilcannia mob kids onto one track, a couple songs later she condescends them by claiming “I’ve put people on the map who’ve never seen a map“. Rah. I get the big cacophony of drums is taking after Gwen Stefani and it would have sounded great off a TEAC boombox in some 17 year old girl’s Suffolk bedroom in 2007, but this style didn’t age well at all I want to give it a 2. This album deserves a 2, but I got with a really hot chick in year 9 because I brought speakers to a party and put Paper Planes on for her. Thus, it gets a 3 5/10

At the end of an already terrible week, this album took me to the Sunshine Coast in the pouring rain to then help my Dad move furniture in the pouring rain. Prayers for Rain played as I hit a pothole and had some locals help me change it in the rain. Thus, I needed to give this album time before listening again so I could detach this annoying experience from it. It’s a great record. Production/Instrumentation wise it’s consistent to a fault, with a hazy, gritty texture to all of the synths and leads, interrupted by some pretty clean drums, Korg synths and bright piano. This all feels very deliberate - this is an album you SHOULD do Heroin to. Robert Smith’s songwriting dwells largely in despair and yearning, which… fits the instrumentation perfectly. Even Lovesong, which has a fair bit of groove to it, is definitely sad guy rock to some degree. Look, I personally am not going to chuck this album on back to front too often, but it sets out to do exactly what The Cure intended: produce something to last the decades after singles-driven success and escape the nomenclature of “stadium band” (I mean, shit, I’d go see Fascination Street at Suncorp). Depressed friends I have will still enjoy this just as much. 9/10 Fav Tracks: Lovesong, Fascination Street, Homesick Least Fav: Prayers For Rain (fuck you, Steve Irwin Way)

The story of the man who REALLY wanted to trade his vocal chords for a bionic Fender Stratocaster/Marshall Amp inside his throat. As others have said, the title track is a fun way to spend 20 minutes. but the following 5 tracks just feel like worse drafts for the opener. It'd make sense it it was released as an EP with these tracks for the diehards but they serve no purpose being there. I'd have much rathered a 2-track record, with the second being 10+ minutes and possessing the dynamics and charm of the first. Eh? 5.5/10 Fav Tracks: You know...

This album can objectively only be given a 3 as the sheer numerical average of what I felt like giving it and the propensity this album had to impress me and piss me off with each track. I felt like giving it the same review Taylor did at MANY points, particularly at Cuckoo Cucoon and Counting Out Time. It does many things so well, but makes you wait way too long for them. I blame this album for feeling so unmotivated to keep up with the review, but alas, here I am, white Monster in hand, reviewing. If you're going to make a concept album you want people to stay engaged during, at least make it enjoyable ALL the way through.

Some really smooth renditions in here, though very little stuck given I'm more fond of the originals in the case of most tracks. That said, this was a fantastic chaser to that laborious Genesis album which stifled my progress in catching up on these albums. 7/10

Gritty, but interesting. Listening to Death Threat at my 2pm crash was great because the song sounds exactly like how I feel at 2pm, crashing. The distortion can get grating if you listen to music loudly like I do, but it feels like the right thing to do with this album. I can't say I loved this, though. The songwriting (where lyrics occur) doesn't penetrate the noise, and so while aesthetically pleasing, I can't remember a single line from the record. I'd chuck it on next time I build furniture, I guess?