1984

I fell asleep during a Van Halen concert in 1994 or 1995. Got my 1st bj in the parking lot after the show though. So that was nice.

This may be my quickest review so far. Firstly, I pretty much detest all 80’s ’hair’ metal. Considering 95% of music this genre produced is nothing like metal it should instead be called ‘men in drag singing shitty lyrics’ rock n roll. Secondly, whenever I see track listings with song names like ‘Hot For Teacher’ and ‘Drop Dead Legs’ it literally induces vomit to rise into my mouth. Thirdly, this album includes both these descriptions and I hated every f@cking second of it. Well that’s not entirely true...’Jump’ is ok. I guess one out of nine ain't bad? There is sooooo much of this rinse and repeat crap rock music from this era I seriously do not see how anyone can distinguish between them. For example Poison, Bon Jovi, Twisted Sister, Motley Crüe, etc could all record this album and even die hard fans, I doubt, would know the difference. To summarise...this album and the genre it belongs too should be sealed in a large container and buried in a secret location...never to be found and/or opened again. 0 Stars!

Hard to find an album that's more 80's white America than this, so if that's your thing you've lucked out with this one.

It's the best showcase of Van Halen's instrumental prowess as a band, the best showcase for Diamond Dave's glorious shtick, the best showcase for their songwriting, just their flat-out best album overall.

fuck off

I really, really love this album. I always mowed to it but listening to it in this context really helped me to appreciate the musical brilliance that they brought to the table. Combining super heavy rock licks with the sort of new wave/synth pop sound feels really natural now but had to have been shocking when it came out. I really, really, like this album. RIP EVH.

VH. Dang, I love these guys. One of the most fun, energetic, innovative pop/rock/metal-esque (kind of sort of, at times) bands I've heard. It's hard to pen any praise of EVH because anything I have to say feels too, I don't know, pedestrian and trite. I'm a bumbling beginner guitarist who high-fives himself when I remember how to play a major scale properly or plays through a medium-tempo 4-chord song with only a few slips, then I put on any song with EVH on guitar and I feel like I've been transported to another semi-comprehensible dimension inhabited by some form of demigods and demigoddesses whose very beings are entangled completely with the Music of the Spheres. And, honestly, sure, there are countless amazing guitarists in all eras, but it's Eddie's genuine joy he shares when playing that is the most infectious aspect of his musicianship to me. Play on, Eddie -- I know you always will! This album has some of Van Halen's most memorable songs, among many memorable songs across quite a nice catalog of albums. Great one to have on this list.

Okay, I actually... loved this?? Totally shocked me! But, there's just something about the fun excitement that some of these songs bring - like "Jump????" WOW! Makes me just wanna dance around. I never knew I was a Van Halen fan.

Love, love, love this album. Hey PJ Harvey, this is how to make music that people want to hear.

I wish I could experience the level of exuberance these songs express even one day in my life. To feel so alive, so cocky, vamping and strutting along, karate kicking the air in my animal print spandex, mugging for the camera. Alas, these emotions are apparently beyond my scope, so the effect of witnessing such a display, as someone who can't really relate, is like hearing a jubilant trumpet blasting its cheerful herald right into my face. This album is like aural cocaine. I'm trying not to be a hater, but to me this is the embodiment of Dad Rock, of the white American Boomer male. I can't shake the memories of my father listening to Van Halen when I was a kid; this was one of "his" bands. And I was happy to leave these bands to him in favor of my own bands, many of which he probably thought of as aural heroin. Much like my dad himself, I find this album full of energy and talent, fun, happy and arrogant, often veering into the obnoxious and exhausting. I'm too young to really view this in the context of its own time, although God knows I remember watching the videos for "Jump" and "Hot for Teacher" dozens of times on MTV as a kid (I can still hear David Lee Roth's voice: "Awww man, I think the clock is slowwww..."). No one can deny that Eddie was an amazing guitarist, and the obvious theskill of the band, especially musically, is the main redeeming factor for me. Although I find the artistry lacking in sensitivity and nuance, and the overall vibe a bit cheesy and try-hard, I have to question my own Gen x ethos and ask myself if trying hard is such a bad thing. Van Halen definitely tried hard to entertain us and push themselves to go bigger, faster, and louder...maybe even all the way to 11.

I've got it bad. So bad...

Panama is one of the greatest rock songs ever written. Diamond Dave is magnetic and magnificent. Eddie just fucking rips and his guitar makes me unbelievably happy.

I couldn't get the memory of dancing around to this in my living room when I was like five years old out of my head. Five stars.

This album was my junior high school anthem.

This is one of the greatest fucking albums of all time

Eddie is a decent guitar player but no guitarist is good enough to carry these songs. Jump is OK but the rest of the songs define obtuse. (And no Less Nessman, I don't mean rounded at the end.) At least the last Van Halen album we were sent had two well written songs - being the two songs they covered.

It's a shredfest with synths. I don't listen to a lot of 80s rock but I can listen to this one anytime. After the spacey one minute intro the album doesn't let up until it's over. Lots of hits and even the non-hits are good. Favorite: Panama

Best album cover ever

First track to last, this is a classic.

Van Halen est vraiment un groupe très sympa. J'ai d'ailleurs rencontré ses membres alors qu'ils cherchaient un sèche-cheveux dans les rayons de la fnac. Je me suis approché d'eux puis leur ai demandé "Vous cherchez un modèle en particulier ?" alors même que je n' étais pas employé par le magasin. Eddie Van Halen me fit un bras d'honneur et s'en alla faire la queue à l'une des caisses automatiques.

I sort of wanted to hate this, preferring the earlier, more spontaneous (and harder rockin') Van Halen albums. But it is hard to dislike this record. The songs are really catchy, and the playing is incendiary, almost overworked in the production, but not quite. I like the variety of bringing in the synth (a suitably crunchy oberheim). The four singles are stellar (with excellent videos, perfect for MTV), and even the album tracks are pretty strong. Top Jimmy and Drop Dead legs are possibly just filler, but they don't suck. 1984 is a really good, solid (heavy) pop album that is a lot of fun to listen to. It is also fabulously and appropriately brief, and doesn't outstay its welcome at only 33 minutes. 1984-era Van Halen are like an awesome gatecrasher at your party; they arrive with a swaggering fanfare, flirt with all the girls, drink all the beer, dance on the tabletops, cracking jokes with a big cheesy grin, and then disappear into the night before the cops turn up. Awesome!

This is such clichéd music. I tried to give it a fair shake but I had to fast forward through every single song. This review was done in about 9 minutes.

Van Halen are the prototype for a rock band. Ultra talented guitarist, singer with a wild personality, and solid rhythm and drums to go with it. This was their peak album with that lineup before things got crazy. I don't mind Hagar but it is definitely a tone shift between what DLR brought. Just over 30 minutes long, this album is a just a good, high energy, rock classic. Panama is one of the greatest cruising tunes, and over half the tracks are hits. Favorite track "Panama" 5/5

This is a great album. I am very familiar with all the classic songs on it but never really gave the deep cuts much of a listen. This album really shows that for an 80s rock band Van Halen was trying to do something different and set themselves apart from other 80s rock bands. Giving it a serious listen, this album really shows the talent and musicianship of Michael Anthony and Alex Van Halen. Being a child in the 80s and remembering the music of the time, I have to say Van Halen were ahead of their time. I never realized how many different influences make their way into their music, but you can hear them on this album. Early Jazz, Hard Roc, Blues, Barbershop Quartet and even Big Band jazz and Yes type Prog Rock can be heard. I like all the time signature changes and cross rhythms that keep occuring. What's funny though is David Lee Roth's lyrical content against 3 seemingly well trained musical intellectuals. Dave has a good voice but his lyrical content brings a frat boy/ meat head feel to the music. It was the excessive 80s though.

Great all-time classic album

This was a junior high staple. VH defined the sounds of the 80s for me

Could listen to Eddie's guitar work all day

I think it would be prudent to lead off my review by mentioning that I love this album. It's one of my favorite albums of the eighties, and one of my favorite classic rock albums as well. I've actually been listening to it pretty frequently the last few weeks, and I was delighted that it came up for me today. I've loved Van Halen for good portion of my life. As a kid, their songs would play frequently on local classic rock stations, and in my latter teenage years and twenties, I would listen to their Best of Both Worlds compilation pretty frequently. I'd never listened to all of 1984 or any Van Halen album for that matter, until I got a copy of this on vinyl for Christmas one year. To me, this album is the perfect example of what it took for rock music to survive and reach a wide audience in the eighties. Having established themselves as a premiere hard rock act, Van Halen relied on synthesizers to evolve their sound, which probably led to their separation with David Lee Roth, ushering in the "Van Hagar" era, which picked up where 1984's sound left off. Frankly, I think this transition to more synth heavy music worked heavily in the band's favor. Their earlier catalog is still fantastic, but 1984 is just a different kind of fun, and reflective of what rock bands were doing in the eighties to stay relevant (like ZZ Top on Eliminator, which oddly enough, I was assigned just prior to 1984). The singles on this album are fantastic. They’re full of Eddie’s great guitar playing and synth lines, Alex’s fun drum fills, and Diamond Dave’s over the top vocals. I've loved "Jump" since I was a kid. I had a tough childhood, but music was something that could always make me happy. There's just something about the synthesizers in "Jump" that always made me extremely happy. It was always one of those songs that made me want to dance around. As an adult, I still love it. It's one of those songs never fails to get my blood pumping, and I always included it on my workout mixes. If it comes up when I'm driving, I'll always sing along to the words and the synthesizer notes too, all while doing my best to keep up with those fun drum fills on my steering wheel. “Panama” is fantastic too, and the actual sounds of engine revving during the bridge work really well. The synth parts on “I’ll Wait” go a bit darker than the ones on Jump, but they provide a nice contrast and show that the band was willing to committed to their changing sound. The drumming on “Hot for Teacher” is some of my favorite in all of classic rock, and the guitar licks are a perfect compliment. Granted, the songs about drooling over women haven’t aged particularly well, but they’re unfortunately pretty tame compared to what was coming as hair metal started to take off shortly after this album’s release (I’m looking at you, Warrant). I love this album, and I think it’s a perfect snapshot of eighties rock. It’s fun and it’s got great synthesizer and guitar parts. The only criticism I can level against 1984 is that only one of the nine tracks is “Jump.”

I think every rock guitarist loves Eddie Van Halen and yet still I think he is underrated. In the lineage of greatest guitarists ever, EVH has a clear and definite spot on the list following Jimi Hendrix and he held that spot for atleast a decade (who came after him and who came before Jimi is up for debate). He had everything that a great rock guitarist would have- tasteful phrasing, tight rhythmic ability, attention-grabbing solos, etc. But he also had this other layer of virtuosity in him- immensely proficient technical playing, incredible amounts of creativity, tone for days and days and days, and a unique voice on the instrument that still has yet to be replicated. I was really really sad when he passed in 2020 as he influenced me so much when I was a young musician. I will always regret being an 18 or so year old and playing a Charvel EVH guitar at a small guitar shop in Teaneck New Jersey and not somehow finding the money to buy it. It was the best guitar I had ever played. I don't really play that many guitars besides my own and I've probably played objectively better ones since then but I still think about that one that got away. My brother always reminds me too as he was there as well :P The rest of the band was just a perfect mesh around him too. David Lee Roth was probably the EVH equivalent but on vocals, and the drums and bass were also incredible musicians (although not up to the level of EVH or David Lee Roth). This album is a great stack of compositions from the fellas. I think Van Halen self-titled is probably my favorite record of there's but this is probably firmly in second place. "Jump", "Panama", and "Hot For Teacher" are continuations of their amazing energy, technical abilities, composition chops, and simple ability to slap together some catchy tunes that ANYONE could listen to and enjoy. "Hot For Teacher" is my second favorite VH song I think. That intro guitar solo is so impressive. 3 Michelin star guitarring on that track. Plus the motorcycle kick drum beat? Come on. I would have loved to be alive for this record to come out and be a teenager and man I would eat this up. SO GOOD. Even the more in-between tracks are tight and have moment on top of moment of hidden amazing guitar parts or vocal sections. Like the guitar parts on "Top Jimmy" and the incredibly fluid playing at the end of "Drop Dead Legs".

Super fun listening to this one again. EVH is playing is in a league of its own. He can fit so much expression into these short guitar solos. I love the drums on this album too. Probably the best hard rock band of 80’s. Cool 80’s synths on Jump and I’ll Wait. Hot For Teacher is probably my favorite- I love the virtuosity of the playing paired with the sillyness of David Lee Roth. 5

This album is what Summer feels like. Everyday. Everywhere.

Hell yeah, this is 80s rock. Love love David Lee Roth, the percussion, and those guitar riffs. One of the things I've had on my bucket list is to learn the drums on Hot for Teacher. The drums really get you going right from the start. Damn good stuff. 🤘

Muy bueno.

It's an iconic album. I love Eddie's sound and style; he was one of my heroes. Panama was one of the first songs I learned playing the guitar, and I still enjoy playing it. 5 Stars for this album.

Wow, I think this is the first we've gotten from Van Halen, a band that I know extremely well. Alex and I listened to so much VH back in the day, we even made a movie pretending to be the band. Not sure why this band in particular connected with us so much...maybe it's their simplicity? There's not a whole lot of depth to their music, and I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. You know the lyrics on first listen thanks to David Lee Roth yelling and repeating them. The drumming and guitarwork is excellent, thanks to the undeniably talented brothers Eddie and Alex. The mere existence of Eddie Van Halen is an anomaly, especially for a band that frankly doesn't need unmatched, virtuosic solos abbreviating their stadium anthems. I'm not sure how many of these were chart-topping hits, but for me there's a run of six straight bangers--on an album with only 8 actual songs. That's absurd. The two biggest songs on here ("Jump" and "Panama") are two that I would rank lower than most people. Actually, I don't know if that's fair; maybe haters would hate those two the most. But what I mean is my nostalgia isn't impervious when it comes to those tracks, because while they are fun and exuberant they are simple to the point of feeling stupid. Looking through their discography, I think this is my second-favorite Van Halen album, behind their self-titled (which I do think is on the list too). It's not the most sophisticated album or band from this era, but there's a satisfying quality to their music nonetheless. For me, it's familiarity. This one's getting the nostalgia bump to a 5, though if I were to be more realistic and critical I'd give it a 4.5. Anything below that and I'd be lying to impress people. Favorite tracks: Top Jimmy, Hot for Teacher, I'll Wait, Jump, Drop Dead Legs, Panama. Album art: A baby with angel wings smoking a cigarette. Gotta be their most iconic, and their most interesting. I love this one so much. Look at the wee bastard. 5/5

One of my favourite albums by one of my favourite bands. I love it all from Jump to Top Jimmy to Drop Dead Legs and all places between!

There was peak Van Halen, and there was everybody else. This album is a testament to that. Great from start to finish.

All right, I get the hype.

Enjoyed every minute of it. Wouldn't mind having it on repeat

I mean the big hits on this one are huge and the rest of the album hold up very well

The singles off this one are classics. The other tracks are fine, but feel like filler.

4 I previously referred to Van Halen as cock rock on this very list and then went on to give their debut a 4, and I’m about to do the same thing now. For as cheesy as hair bands from this era are from a modern perspective, there’s no denying that Van Halen with David Lee Roth had guitar-driven rock and flamboyant frontman showmanship down to science, and while I really don’t think they had a bad release during his time with the band, it seems appropriate that the two albums that ended up being the group’s best and most defining were the ones that bookend his involvement with them. On paper, it really doesn’t seem that the album should work as well as it does given the creative power struggle behind the scenes between Eddie wanting to venture into new wave synthesizer-driven sounds and David wanting to stick to their hard rock roots, yet somehow, they were able to establish a perfect balance of the two (though it did lead to Roth’s eventual departure). For as big of a musical leap as it was for the group (avoiding the obvious pun there), Jump is a fantastic tune, and while it very much is a song that feels like a product of its time, it has such a fun, light-hearted energy to it that’s hard not to appreciate and feel a sense of fondness for the era, even as someone born in 1997. Though, I am someone who grew up in a Van Halen household, so there very much is a sense of nostalgia to it for me. However, while a lot of these songs are ones that I grew up hearing, many of them have gone on to develop further appreciation from me as new memories have become attached to them. While I’ve always enjoyed Panama, I now can’t think of the song without thinking of Foo Fighters’ Taylor Hawkins Tribute Show in Los Angeles - there were a lot of incredible and memorable performances at the show, but something about hearing Panama live from Eddie’s flesh and blood honoring both Taylor and his own father sticks out to me as one of the most hype concert moments I’ve ever experienced (also shoutout to The Darkness singer Justin Hawkins for being a fantastic David Lee Roth fill-in). Hot For Teacher is another incredible track that I adore simply because it just goes hard af, but another part of me will always think of it as the final song to Guitar Hero: World Tour, where I would fail it about five seconds into the opening solo and then have to sit through all 30 seconds of the drum intro each and every time before immediately failing again. Drop Dead Legs is a song that always makes me think of my dad, mostly due to how it managed to appear in about every incarnation of our Spotify Family Mix that was ever generated (RIP) presumably due to how much my dad must play it - for all 21 million streams the song has on Spotify, I’m assuming he must be half of them. Final song I’ll shoutout is Top Jimmy - I don’t have a specific memory associated with that one, but it’s a fun tune that I remember hearing growing up, though I will say, in this listening, it occurred to me that there was a bit of a missed opportunity in not segueing it directly into Hot For Teacher. Listen to the drum fill at the end - it sounds just like the opening to Hot For Teacher. Anyway, realize I’m just sharing anecdotes at this point, but isn’t that what a good album should do? Bring back good memories? (Even though Hot For Teacher nearly had me smash my Guitar Hero controller at a time). I evidently have quite a few with this one, though at its core, I just think 1984 is a fun album. Call it cock rock if you want, but if you genuinely hate this, I would question how fun of a person you are to be around. RIP Eddie, and shoutout to David Lee Roth as being, in my opinion, one of rock’s greatest frontmen. Though, I did lose a little bit of respect for the guy when I found out about his beef with Joe Strummer. Sorry David, mano a mano, I’m in Joe’s corner ten out of ten times.

Cet album m'a renvoyé à l'un des jeux videos fétiches de ma jeunesse, Guitar Hero World Tour, où après avoir vaincu Ozzy Osbourne au terme d'un duel de solos endiablés dans un bar du Mississipi, j'affrontais l'equipe FUT de Eddie Van Halen, comprenant entre autres un Arjen Robben TOTW et un Christian Pander au pied d'argent.

Great album. Maybe I'm just a sucker for 1980's rock. Contains such great hits as Jump, Panama, and Hot For Teacher.

Iconic, loads of memorable hits, and for sheer instrumentalism alone it’s difficult to go under 5 stars here. No, these are not elegant compositional masterpieces, but there is nobody who can play or sound like classic Van Halen and this album is one of the best examples of that.

walked into this totally blind and 34 minutes later I have to give it a 10/10. I’m not too familiar with Van Halen. I’m familiar with the name but never looked into their discography. I can’t help but feel like I’m missing some context on the significance of this album. Like all rock bands, I’m sure listening to their previous albums will help me appreciate this more, but still for what it is I think it’s amazing. I love how fun, fast, and sassy it is. As soon as I heard that iconic and instantly recognizable synth in ‘Jump’ I knew this was going to be a great (although tragically short) album. I’m a big fan of synth rock and pop rock and this hits all the right spots. I’ll look into more of Van Halen’s stuff for sure. I’m a little worried that 1984 is the peak and everything goes downhill from there tho. Regardless, their self titled debut seems to have pretty high ratings so I’ll look into that one soon.

Hardcore as hell.

Something special about David Lee Roth + Eddie Van Halen

Starting to think this Van Halen fella might be good at guitar

*Rock snob alert*. Not my favorite VH album. Not even close to their bast album with DLR. Panama and Hot For Teacher are rockers. I'll Wait is a great song, and one of the few VH songs where DLR actually sings. The rest of the album is "take it or leave it for me". My rating is for the three aforementioned songs, and for, musically and vocally, them being at the top of their game.

One of my bandmates pointed out that Van Halen was more successful with Sammy Hagar than with DLR. Does it really matter? The albums with DLR soar. Does anyone doubt the huge impact the VH brothers have had? While Eddie’s otherworldly skills could have overshadowed everything and everyone else, Alex’s licks, especially on Hot for Teacher, kept pace. On this album it always feels to me that they are competing and racing each other, as if to say Oh, yeah? Top this!

You know, the synthesizer is such cheesy 80's fare but the greats did it well. Jump is no exception (though a little much on I'll Wait) - you can't help but get sucked in. Of course there's still room for some vintage Eddie (RIP) on the track. And more amazing guitar work on pretty much every track (listen to House of Pain). And then DLR is at his decadent best on this album. Those two just make the album what it is - Panama and Hot for Teacher are classics but they are really ridiculous songs with nothing to them except for the combo of EVH and DLR (to be fair Alex Van Halen's drum work on Hot for Teacher is awesome too). Drop Dead Legs is the best showcase of all the musicians - AVH does good work and Michael Anthony gets time to shine too. Stellar album for anyone who likes rock and even those who don't.

Phenomenal album. I knew the hits, but maaaan what killer songs with game-changing guitar chops.

Probably my favorite hard rock album. Between Roth's vocals and Eddie's guitars and keyboard, there is an unmatched level of thrill and hysteria. It's loud and exciting, with each track showing off in some new impressive way. So many tracks I love. "Panama" is of course a masterpiece, but "Jump" and "Hot for the Teacher" are also classics that you can't just ignore if playing in the background of a bar. This is songwriting that grabs your attention.

5/5 - Iconic; The definition of 80's hard rock

Real good some classics that I now what album they belong to

Awesome Album. Face melting guitar and drums.

A great album that showed Van Halen’s proficiency with the synth. R.I.P Eddie, lost a real O.G

An amazing album - Van Halen at their top. It was despised by some people when it first came out, but with Sammy Hagar's entrance, the band grabbed the 80s sound by the horns and really combined their hard rock sound into it. They managed to walk a middle road where everyone could jam to it. There is a song for everyone on this album - not one bad song on it. There is a reason why it became classic rock as soon as it was released - they knew it would be seen as classic. 9/10

Kort en krachtig album! Favoriet nummer: 'Hot for Teacher'

Classic of an era!! it'd be 4,5.. but the good songs are just too good!!

A classic. What's not to like?

Classic

hard fun rock n'roll! Sammy who? Finally, something breaking the recent skid of 8 of 10 albums with 1-3 ratings. I miss Roth..

Irgendwie schon nice, aber vor allem hat Spotify danach im autoplay "Right Now" gespielt und das Lied ist ja mal hammer.

Brad says "are you getting really into 80's hair metal now?"

Just a fun ride. Is it deep, hell no. They can play but it serves the song and atmosphere rather than look at me. Diamond Dave is a limited vocalist but he has his thing going down. Gets slagged off because it’s pop and their look, nowt wrong with pop just Good fun rock n roll, time to party music.

Van Halen is so of its era, and is easily the best of class for its brand of guitar pyrotechnics. If you love it, you love it, and you know exactly what you're getting into.

One of my dad’s favorite bands is Van Halen so I’m going in with a lot of predisposed enjoyment just from hearing a lot of this as a kid. Jump fucking rules. Panama was on one of the Gran Turismo soundtracks and will forever be one of the greatest driving songs. Top Jimmy is when you realize Eddie Van Halen is well deserving of all the praise, those harmonics and everything at the start. A warranted complaint is that, yeah these lyrics can be pretty misogynistic. But I don’t know if they’re THAT bad. Plus so far every object of desire has been of age, so that’s a plus compared to a shocking amount of their contemporaries. The album ends a little weakly, so it isn’t a 5, but a really solid 4, surprised how much I loved this

Hair metal before hair metal technically existed — the godfathers of hair metal, I guess. Musically, this album is really fun. Great guitar solos and drum fills — obviously, it's Van Halen. The whole album is high energy and catchy. The synthy intro at the beginning wasn't something I really expected from them — it's got kind of a Rush flavor to it — but it flows perfectly into the opening of "Jump." Lyrically, this album is pretty corny. And David Lee Roth's voice ranges from great to kind of grating. 4/5 — just don't pay too much attention to the words and it's a good time. Also, I like to imagine that the kid on the cover grows up to be Ace Merrill from "Stand By Me."

A galloping cocksure cocktail of excess, speed, and libidinous glutton, this album packs in more notes per second than the Micro Machine Man’s stenographer, all the while trailblazing headlong into self-centered hedonism while the rest of the 80’s followed obediently in its wake. Gloriously self-indulgent

Made it through almost the whole thing, which is impressive for sensitive ears like me. Never realized how artful Van Halen is. I get the hype, dads.

Rip roaring rocker! I forgot how talented these musicians were. Each song just pushes the boundaries in showmanship.

Listened April 25th Classic rock, killer riffs, short and sweet and power

Van Halen are weird for me. I love their records but I unreservedly hate almost everything they inspired. Maybe they were just so much smarter in their dumbness than all the dummies that tried to copy them.

No. 243/1001 1984 NR Jump 5/5 Panama 4/5 Top Jimmy 3/5 Drop Dead Legs 3/5 Hot For Teacher 3/5 I'll Wait 3/5 Girl Gone Bad 3/5 House of Pain 3/5 Average: 3,38 Jump is a stand out hit here. Otherwise the album doesn't have a lot of substance to elevate it even higher. Overall pleasant to listen to.

Yeah, the music that you think is pretty wild when you are about 12 years old. (Hot for Teacher is actually quite ok)

There comes a time in the life of every rock band when someone discovers a synth in the corner of the studio and wonders what happens when they start randomly twiddling the knobs. In Van Halen’s case this gave us the worldwide monster hit Jump but it’s clear on this album where the rest of the band pushed back for more traditional rock songs about women’s legs and hot teachers. It’s no surprise that they broke up with ‘musical differences’ a year later.

Starts off so strong out of the gage. But this ain't an album band. Everyone is here for the stadium hits. Beyond that everything is forgettable, lyrics, arrangements' et al.

Terrible album art. Right away love the length of this album. The music has some good bits, the musicianship is solid, but it all blends a bit. I've heard most of these tracks so many times in the background that my brain is trained to wander away. It's a sugar rush.

It's an album that swings wildly, but not all the punches hit the same.

Faves: Jump ⭐️ Top Jimmy (GUITAR) ⭐️ Drop Dead Legs (GUITAR) ⭐️ Hot for Teacher ⭐️ Liked: Panama (the bridge) ⭐️ I’ll Wait Girl Gone Bad House of Pain Disliked:

I don't see what this has to do with the George Orwell novel. Just kidding but it's weird that this came after Big Brother and the Holding Co. This is actually the first time I've heard the whole album but of course, like anyone else that grew up in the 80s, I knew "Jump", "Panama" and "Hot for Teacher." Apart from that I wasn't too crazy about the rest of the album. I did enjoy "Top Jimmy" and Eddie is an amazing guitarist to listen to. Not a fan of Alex's drumming at all though. Just an average album overall.

I'll Wait and Jump are the only two good songs on here. Very disappointing- bland, uninspiring instrumentals with boring, basic lyrics.

#365. I gave the other Van Halen album an extra star for not being the album Jump and Hot for Teacher are on, but unfortunately I can't do that for this one, and will give it the two stars it deserves. Also, side note: I listened to ABBA yesterday, and if I had a nickel for every time I had to hear a song about children wanting to bang their teacher, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened two days in a row. 2/5: trash

Like listening to the classic rock station at work… could be a lot worse but not really moving the needle

I was born in ´79 and have no recollection of enjoying music when I was 5 years old. However, I remember watching Van Halen music videos on MTV around the late 80's. Van Halen and other 80's rock never quite did hit me in the right spot. Many years later, (late 90's) some of my metal friends was reviving Europe, Ironmaiden, Twisted Sister, Manowar, Van Halen and AC/DC. At that time, it all sounded the same to me. Im pretty sure I can distinguish the bands today. And I can the see how Van Halen layed out the groundwork for later bands like Guns N Roses and Bon Jovi. Still Van Halen is a long way from my prefered genrers. But somehow I found myself enjoying the slower track "I'll Wait".

I detest 1980s hair metal and Van Halen is not an exception. It's superficial rock music, which don't have any greatness about it musically or lyrically. It's just way too commercial but at least it's not completely unlistenable as some other albums on this list. I got through it but it is not something I want to listen to again.

The hits are still solid and the other tracks are fine, but nothing remarkable. Not much more to be said besides that

This was short but after a couple songs felt too similar

Possibly the most overrated band of all time. This album would be 3 stars but Hot For Teacher brings it down to 2.

they should forbid white men from making music just for this

boo. sounded like a bald eagle chewing tobacco and voting against abortion. the horny teacher one was kinda fun tho

God this sucks. Van Halen is music for people who think they are cool but they almost alway the worst person in the room. “Jump” ranks high on the list of worst song of all time and now that I’ve listened to the songs I hadn’t heard on this album I’m surprised to find almost all the other songs are worse. Shitty choruses, boring production, and songs about trivial and misogynistic topics. “Hot for teacher” is somehow the best song on this pile of burning shit.

Best thing about the album: it's only 30 minutes. Second best: Jump sounds pretty good, even if it's mostly here to show up how shit, dated and regressive the rest of the album is.

Not gonna do it, Van Halen is not for me. Better than drake but that’s a low bar.

Upon seeing the album title I immediately thought of the book by George Orwell. I wondered if the album was about the book, but thought it probably wasn't, and I was right- just an unimaginative reference to the year it was recorded. However, this album is every bit as depressing as Orwell's dystopian society, for the simple reason that it's terrible. I knew "Jump," which I actually don't hate. I even like the synth hook, which is sparkly, catchy and fun. However, it's not even a 5 star track and it's by far the best song on the album. Everything else is absolutely atrocious, especially that unbearable piece of cringe about, well, let's say inappropriate relations between students and teachers. Oh well, at least it was a short album and only wasted 33 minutes of my time.

Boring repetitive glam hair metal, nothing extra. If you enjoy this genre, it's time to get your prostate examined my friend, Solid one star at best.

Van Halen, particularly with Diamond Dave Lee Roth as frontman, are ridiculously over the top, brash, flashy, trashy, and really good fun. You don't come to a VH album expecting profound life lessons; you come for the party, and you get that by the truckload. You also get a finely tuned rock band with one of the most influential guitarists in history, a great drummer, an underrated bass player whose backing vocals always made a huge difference to the sound, and a goofish, clown of a lead singer who has more cocky self-confidence than any of them. This album adds synths to a few tracks but they are still mostly built on Eddie's incredible rhythm guitar playing - the man was an outstanding lead player with chops that many still try in vain to match but his rhythm playing is perhaps even better. Van Halen are probably responsible for the Hair Metal phenomena that spread from California in the early '80s but they can't be blamed for the many inferior copycats who followed in their wake. 1984 was the band's last album with DLR for years and, for me, sits just below Van Halen and Van Halen II. It makes me smile.

Banger.