1001 Albums Summary

thank you mom for being a sound of silence head. also thank you paul simon.

genuinely insane just how much these rock guys cribbed from black music of the time. some of these are James brown songs. the rest make me think pitchfork critics are fake dorks. cause I hear a lot more the who in those king of the beach songs than beach boys (god forbid mfs have some harmonic lalalas). nonetheless lowk fire. i completely understand the keith moon dick sucking. wish i could give it a 3.5 but it's closer to a 3.

if i have to listen to white exuberance i can just go to arcade fire. if i wanna hear white agony i have sufjan. i'm coming around on it but. damn. unfortunately the second half rips. if bookends was a 4.1 this might be 3.9-4.2. can't believe someone outweezered Weezer. there will be more of his music if i were a betting woman.

let's GOOOOOOOOO. a classic in every sense. too bad most of the people involved lowk suck but tonite we're letting the #separating the #art from the #artist talk. everyone always talks about Lauryn hill's singing. we forget just how good she is at rapping. pras singlehandedly deciding to stop #stopasianhate makes it more 4.2-4.5. tis a great conundrum but we're gonna give it the full amount.

we are so UP these past two days. that one classic joke about white women doing r&b. but subverted. cause. it's amy fucking winehouse (jack harlow genuinely kys). i Was gonna say the lyrics are toxic as hell but remembered the influence is Right there. 4.2-4.4.

apologies generator i was not familiar with your game. good footy. i'm coming to find that it's not that i hate her music, rather i hate the production techniques on most post outlaw pre garth brooks country. too 80s AOR. however. COMMA. the songs transcend the form. i hope i get a living color album so i can make the same complaint. 3.3-4.1.

generator i was not familiar with your GAME 🤧. rip to a young 🐐. don't let the bastards get you down. that said. late stage holiday has a nina simone timbre thing goigng on that just. Works. ray ellis gives her a lush sonic bed to just be. so fucking MELANCHOLIC. cried genuine tears when "you've changed" finished #bisexuallimerencewave. there's a old man bond movie concept (make it like the day of the doctor it'd be 👩‍🍳) that you could use this album and build a davinci timeline around. ending your last album on this earth with "the end of a love affair" it's just. 💋🤌. i'll defend the beach boys love you for similarly insane reasons. 4-4.3.

we so UP. it's stevie. it's miracle run stevie. 4.7-5. let's keep it pushing. (related but unrelated) it's crazy how much Michael and quincy took the motown blueprint to its logical extreme. (actually related) i activate like drake in the sprite commercial the second stevie starts ripping on the harmonica. plus the groove that he locks in on living for the city + higher ground >>>>>>>>>>. genuinely batshit drums're technically his 3rd best instrument. and the lyrics (oh my god the lyrics). absolute gem: "to see the heaven in your eyes is not so far, 'cause I'm not afraid to try and go it." anyway. good album. looking forward to being annoying about "evil" when music of my mind comes up. if it doesn't i riot.

SIX SEVEN. SIX SEVEN. SIX SEVEN. SIX SEVEN. SIX SEVEN. SIX SEVEN. SIX SEVEN. ----------- unfortunately a classic. 4.4-5. thanks skate 3. fuck you francis (unfortunately teenager of the year is a banger). this m- [REDACTED]'s going t- (nvm not finishing that one) (related but unrelated) if there's one thing i'll give butch vig credit for on nevermind {i give him credit for a lot actually. he's had to spend years being yelled at by just. the worst kinds of music guy™️.} he got to the dynamic heart of the loud quiet loud song structure. steve albini's too anal to have committed to that. rip him tho. (actually related) gouge away top 100 album closers of all time

motherfucker. generator. what. dumb assholes fail to realize meg white adds angularity to jack white's black keys² impulses. i have no need for blues revival when i can just. listen to the blues. idk. he's always had late stage Eminem levels of aura to me. which makes anytime he tries to do hard rock stuff silly. unlike a qotsa. who're dorks. but cool. or john mayer. who's an actual asshole. im shakin'. that's the statement. an addendum: this nigga is a CORNBALL. track 3 cool. track 5-6. tracks 9-12. why'd he put the good songs (ballady stuff. he can write a ballad i can't lie.) at the end he's just maybe. Maybe. fought his way out of a 2. first review is so right though. fuck it. 2.5-3.8

thank you generator (i'm still mad over blunderbuss). the crashout would've been immeasurable if i had to listen to alt j or some shit. now pj harvey? def an artist to listen to B4 you die. --------- (actually related) for me she's never really had any comparison. like i hear her influences. ultimately she's her own thing. there's no one out there making pj harvey type beats (soccer mommy lowk 👁️). anyways. dry. i'd describe it as a straightforward (as "straightforward" as you could describe a pj harvey project) rid of me. lyrics are as cutting (tracks 5-7 {as a formerly repressed depressed SBC attending queer lady} Activated me) as always. guitar work nice and grimy. drums are grungy as needed. it's good rock. not gonna say kurt bit plants and rags but he's clearly inspired. (related but unrelated) i also appreciate her following the maxim of all great british singers: cutting out that fuckass fake fucking accent. 3.5-4.4

........i mean sure man i guess. ------------ me personally i wouldn't have checked for the solo stuff of the 4th most famous CSNY member but. that's what this is for. anyways. lowk overproduced paul simon (paul simon always manages to be the right amount of produced) flow. i like it tho. stills is a high work rate (one of the things i was gonna say about jack white {i forgor 💀}) musician. the songs take their one idea and wring out as much as they can (do for the others, church, old times good times, to a flame). unfortunately the lyrics are letting him down a bit. a real "folk" (scrappy, plays guitar the right way) man writes songs about the same topic matter as mick jagger. and i'm supposed to care? unfortunately i do. jimi hendrix and eric clapton on guitar back2back are brilliant pulls. ironic. these licks hit like a baby on manhattan pavement. "it's like saying goodbye to paris for the first time" is a great line. a whole song of poker metaphors for evil woman™️? less so. a song has never been less about its stated topic (emo boys copied this bar for bar). --------- 2.8-4.1. (did need to hear some of this before i kicked bucket). yada yada meridian white guy guitar bathroom graffiti. a testament to what was possible when all the best session guys lived near each other.

FINALLY. SOME GOOD FUCKING FOOD. thanks mom for taking me to scarborough fair. all timer. less so for the other stuff. cloudy, dangling conversation, that one song bon iver bit for the emma album title - great 59th street, flowers never bend, homeward bound (chorus), parts of silent night - good the bar for satire is profoundly low. green pleasure machine is just ticket to ride (god(s) almighty i'm not ready for justbhow much beatles im gonna have to listen to doing ts 😃) but even more mid. simple desultory belongs in one of those "non rap song diss tracks" vids. i'm not gonna say don't let these guys cook social commentary but. america has to be the fluke of all time. also the songs don't develop all that much. limitations of the technology of the time but. mrs robinson's 4 minutes. take a little time to flesh them out. guess this former was a step to the latter. 3.1 - 5 (entirely scarborough fair, take it out it's like 4.4?)

my nigga. whom? yt music put big star in the recs; i assume that's a good barometer. streets calling this the first alt-country album. streets also saying he was on some unrequited love shit w/ emmylou. nonetheless we move. cook stove chef (based god): 1, 4 (decent but boring), 5 (standout) redeeming traits: 2 (harmonies), 3(instrumental), 6 (instrumental/harmonies/FX), 7 (harmonies {reoccurring gag [i've had that one before]}; how many times will i have to hear "love hurts" before this is through?), 8 (instrumental {harmonies are wasted on this one. you can't do "countryman depraved gambling rolling stone" songs with emmylou streisanding it. that said. mf do you HEAR this solo‽}) eh: 9 (harmonies are nice yada yada). if i have to hear people harmonize christ related lyricism i'm Just listening to boney m. putting the lyric "oh lord grant me speed" before singing a eulogy to your dealer (among other things) is p funny. considering. y'know. the circumstances. lowk bores me. even the songs with redeeming traits are kinda boring. rolling stone Def racist cause you can't tell me there's isn't at least a hundred albums better OAT. astaghfirullah if another song ends on a resolving chord reverbing out with steel pedal 🫥. that said the harmonies are fueg. al perkins' Tearing it up on the steel. another testament to the power of having insane studio guys making nice sounding mid. 3.2-3.8.

"executive produced by brian eno" oh i'm sure 3.8. we'll give him the 4. or will we? there's a lot of jazzy ambient shit you could listen to B4 death.

ok shordy ok shordy ok shordy ok shordy ok shordy ok shordy ok shordy ok generator shordy the thing about the new wave™️ is that (to bungle a todd in the shadows paraphrase) although they were dorks they were massive hitmakers (related but unrelated but also related {listen to flock of seagulls' first two albums to get me}) with heavily underrated guitar work and (band dependent) intermittently underrated rhythm section work. that said it's a classic for a reason. properly rated vocals. the 7 track run from 11:59 to i'm gonna love you too🫀🫪. (related but unrelated) the bassist throwing a synth at the producer's kinda baller (actually related) fade away is an elo type beat. thank you mike chapman for "bullying" them into this heat (and functionally sidechaining the synths to the cr78 on heart of glass {that's genius}) but can we turn down the organ solina thing like 2db? 4.5-5

fair enough i guess. undoubted proof that the first 1001 book was published in 2005. some nme bogroll. charmin, but still bogroll. i could've gotten away with listening to (at least) 5 better bands from the coveted uk classes of 2000-2004. most indie rags were at peak annoying/lowk racial. in the same way the strokes made overly bounced on velvet songs most of these are overly dick sucked beatles flow. i want to live in the world where baggy/shoegaze won over the gallaghers. nothing wrong with the gallaghers (apart from the obvious) it just portends a conservatism for "the greater good" that's overtaken just. everything. anyways i'm colonized (how could u tell?); i appreciate the shout at "white kids talking black," singles are decent, go listen to dfa1979 if you wanna hear a two piece that might Actually kill each other 2.5-3.4

LET'S FUCKING (the 1995 cult classic united artists film hackers starring jonny lee miller angelina jolie matthew lillard fisher stevens and its accompanying soundtrack {+ a healthy dose of the 2001 cult classic introversion software game uplink} irreparably damaged my brain as a child; along with the other things) GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 🥳🫪👁️ liam howlett's a genius. underrated sampler and quite possibly the only man to make big beat seem like something meant to happen instead of EDM "fetch" circa 1998 (fuck you moby {fatboy/the chemical brothers/"big transgender fan" hideki naganuma occasionally get a shout at it}). we already s/o keith moon but let's shoutout another keith (RIP). and the other keith (the kool one). narayan earns every second of those 9 minutes. L7 cover is peak. 3.6-4.5. i'm willing to argue jilted generation's better (+ underworld does cooler things with the rock vocalist rave tunes concept). "coincidentally" both of these things are on the hackers soundtrack. also serial thriller is lowk a young gods song. that's all.

oh i'm sure everyone's (except me scout and marlon) gonna give this a 2. godforbid the pop songs fucking Pop. could use some variety though. 80s fleetwood gets away with it because they have 3 vocalists (among other reasons). 3.4-4.2. this album probably would've meant a lot to me as a post studio 54 pre basquiat nyc young hoe™️.

aw fuck. shit and fuck. fuck shit shit fuck. shittity fuck. fuckity fuck Fuck. right then. let's see why brian wilson #locked in for pet sounds. but before that, an anecdote: i took a songwriting class in college and our 2nd assignment was to write a cover of a beatles song we'd never heard. i ended up making (to quote my group members/classmates) some charli xcx lcd soundsystem berghain eurotrash type beat with a jersey club breakdown in the middle. the song? drive my car. nonetheless i'm a little underwhelmed. as for the rest, white washed temptations songs (they're not bad but it must be said) and some mad alright to decent rock. nowhere man + michelle + in my life would do it for the wilson level up but. i'm leaning 80-20 on the spector of it all (pun intended). he didn't think ringo tapped the phones, did he? the "i'm fucking your cat" cover pretty fuego tho. 3.4-4.1. no homo jann wenner smoking MANDINGO if he thinks this is the 5th greatest album of all time. like yeah. baby(whitey? that feels mean. i mean that shit tho)'s first exposure to various genres due to racism + payola + the economics of owning records but i mean. FIFTH?

reasonable. let's do it to it. the thing about these nineties/noughties albums is that #they love using the CD format to make these shits 50+ minutes. oh well. guess i'll make lunch. who the fuck processed the drums like the matrix (the canadian production duo for avril lavigne and/or liz phair). why. i rate "could've been anyone"/"say anything" though. stupid thing has a chorus. jon brion??????? this might be the least jon brion sounding jon brion project i've heard in my life. "jacob marley's chain" does get a shout at his usual trappings (one metaphor song ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯). "mr harris" + "i know there's a word" + "i've had it" do them. standouts. album ending's a good bit. (related but unrelated) she's from richmond??? berklee???? right then. 1.8-3.2. overglorified kelly clarkson music. hell. overglorified shania. that's a pro shania/kelly statement. picks up in the second half (thank god). wikipedia says it's geffen's fault. i'll take her at her word. it'd be a 3+ without all the radio malarkey.

billy corgan (like kurt) failed to realize there was a third option beyond burning out/fading away: transitioning. anyway let's boogie. it's a classic for a reason. despite all my misgivings (i will say butch vig Knows how to get massive guitar sounds; ur always good in my book gng) about the recording process and the man behind the name. and the instruments. it's basically all just him. everyone else seems like a chiller at the time (despite the struggles). d'arcy i love you. please (can someone take a flash photo of james so he gets out the infinite sadness place) enjoy life and money away from this plonker. speaking of: (related but unrelated) the thing about the fact that we have to listen to the feature length entirety of mellon collie is that like many a 90s double album (or oasis not saving the good b sides) you could've just kept the 10-15 great songs. (actually related) 4-4.5. incredible track runs. geek usa is a stonker. luna Might be an all timer. i'm not gonna argue james' guitar ability is overrated but. clearly you guys aren't listening to those vernon reid solos.

i mean. why not. my lowk nonce libertarian washington [REDACTED]s fan high school music teacher loved (the fucking cover version of) wild world. yeah you fucking look it m8. the thing about some of these folk artists is that. y'know. all the figurative language work they put in can't compete with the (downright clinical) efficiency of kid a era yorke (along with other artists etc. yada). you're not outworking "there are two colors in my head." cat stevens ain't half bad at it though. i did need to hear this. but i'm only moved sometimes. predominantly instrumentally. lyrically by the album cuts. "father and son" is an all timer. 3.1-3.6

god. Fucking. DAMMIT. as a proud u2 defender i'm sorry to all my friends in advance. see the stuff i said about the gallaghers and the conservatism for "the greater good" in the libertines review. to genuinely go from trying to push the electronica rock envelope but (with classic u2 hubris) pre booking the tour and (after functionally fixing it in mexico city) not making a live album to then biting the melody from A-ha's second biggest hit. fucks sake. they're lucky the edge is an all time guitarist (along with the always mint rhythm section) and eno/lanois is just about as close to a scratch production winner as you can get. atomic bomb was when the real downturn began but. as aforementioned. it portends. it just portends. first two songs are near all timers. although finding out "stuck in a moment" is meant to be about the INXS guy is. y'know. a bit shitty. what's that one joke about god and Bono? elevation is probably their worst soundtrack based song. makes me want to listen to the batman forever one (let alone miss sarajevo). if madonna's die another day had an (aidan says i can't use any CENSORED irish slurs 🥲) 'RA based twin. "walk on" is underrated. coldplay would copy this word for word but change the bars up writing x&y half a decade later. kite would be fine if it didn't end with big Bonissmo going "erm ackshually u guys didn't get the postmodern² of the kmart lemon disco ball". we know. you're having a normal one about it. pillock. everything else is john mayer lite and ballad treacle that mj wouldn't even touch. that's a lie. mj would try a ballad written by himmler if it had enough kiddie mentions. "when i look at the world" + "grace" are nice enough. not peak. but nice enough. 2.2-2.5. re j diddla: "massive massive indicator that the list was first published in ‘05 today"

barrett's gonna be really annoying™️. baller pick though. they'll be playing this once they get the trans people coventry-witz trains up and running. that said. thank you guys for walking so i could run to put OTT on the master. even along with the progenitor "primitivism" thing the songs are peak. gary numan and you lot share melodic sensibilities. and i like having electric friends. hall of mirrors is an all timer. i never realized kraftwerk could get so no wave-y. big fan of the lead filter/pitch knob getting turned all ways about when they get to the "distorted" line. i love how every song has a point where i realize the lyrics are satirical/symbolic. hi planet rock sample + that one missy elliot song (not really it just reminded me of it). in the same way the human league's atari to the rest of the 80s' super nintendo (to paraphrase/bungle another todd in the shadows quote) this would be the pdp-11. i like how the second half is all variations on melodies from the album track. all in all. coo. 4.2-4.5.

barrett's gonna be even more annoying™️ but we move. baby driver music (derogatory). hendrix bar for fucking bar. the first line of the album (whole song actually) is a little richard reference. at some point we have to question if racism affects everything 😨. oh wait. bloodsucker work rates its way into being decent. the line "Got a black breast Chinese eyes" tells me i should stop looking at the lyrics. good sabbath impression. child in time Might be it (despite that goofy fucking ending). if i lived in 1970 and bought this i'd genuinely be pissed 85% of the a-side wasted my time. ritchie has the juice (along with most of the band) but the song structure and lyrics let them down terribly. "flight of the rat" made my good songs from the generator playlist but. what was the point of restarting the song after 5 minutes. i'll use the drum breaks for something. might be useful then. 1.2-2.3. proto berklee. guitar wasn't invented until buckethead.

i mean. sure. whatever. "right here" (and its music vid {and the various advertisements it scored [it cannot be understated just how much this fucking genre was propped up by the choices of temp writers and their "4 quadrant + racial taxonomy hitting" music choices |was there ever an ethical way to make big beat? i couldn't tell you. prodigy were actual rockers. handsome boy modeling school were actual beatmakers. <a lot of it feels like Mostly overglorified exercises in racially dubious plunderphonics that "happened" cause of the post-nirvana/oasis beating madchester into the dirt + post-britpop bubble burst + pre-strokes + trance era tiesto EDM interregnum /tl;dr the thing that gave ok computer a leg up/> maybe it's like being a pop rapper. hard to win respect. another quick fuck you to moby|]}), "praise you," and "rockafeller" (just fine imo) are classics. like i said. despite my big beat misgivings he makes it happen on occasion. SOME of the album cuts ("fucking in heaven", "you're not from brighton", "are we having fun yet") are nice. good in the "fun yet" case. the drums take a lot out of the rest; it's failure to iterate. personally i need futuristic skater graffiti (jungle always sounds like the future ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯) for this stuff to click. looking forward to chopping the kalifornia samples into a MASSIVE™️ (please. god. tell me there's remixes. i'm so tired of those fucking drums {remixes were mid}) rave tune. also. letting you guys know his government name's NORMAN COOK. norman cook? intermittently. 2.4-3.2. quick shoutout to whosampled; best of luck with the IDF funding.

YES! YES!!! YES!!!!!! FUCK YES!!!!!!! WOOHOOO!!!!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! unfortunately to the hood bitches i do like bjoink. unfortunately to the alt bitches i also like the other sugarcubes. im slut for dream pop. first three tracks are an all time run. tracks 6-8 get p damn close. 4.1-4.5. (related but unrelated) blue eyed pop (to quote that one kenan joke during the high school theater sketch) sounds like bragging. (actually related) i unfortunately do love a "this is the hook - bsod" ass track. cowboy isn't technically on the original tracklist but i'm having so much fucking fun i Have to highlight it.

on this Super sunday™️ i'm feeling SUPAFLY SUPAHOTFIRE BABYYYYY (but im not a #dapper). i really should listen to more curtis mayfield. and/or the impressions for that matter. nonetheless let's get active. the best soul records always have a way of making me feel like i'm in the liminal kitchen/living room (not calling it open concept, go die in a fire) of some relative's place. i'm on a warm beige leather couch with a tv island stuffed to the gills with physical media directly across from it. there's a coffee table with various accoutrements and a kitchen with *insert one of many blood/non blood older relatives here* cheffing meat pies, bofrot, and various nibbles. we're in the go between state of a multi hour mealathon holiday and some form of football's on telly. i'm surrounded by people who don't know me and yet understand. maybe some brown liquor. maybe a dark guinness. maybe a heineken to mix it up. it's homely in a way. despite the horrors seeping in there's still love. and if it's ever too much i can always go play jeopardy on the basement wii. anyways i liked the album. the line "you didn't have to love for me" hit me in a place i probably have to mention to a HIPAA bound professional. freddie's dead is a top 300 song of all time. lmao hi snoop. every fuckfake crackerzoid on this website who understands what "bitches in the bed" means here but make it so TPAB and later glory run kanye albums happen to be "most controversial" can kick fucking rocks. 4.4-4.7.

back to back bangers. unfortunately a 5. genuinely tried to find a song that i didn't remember even a little snippet of. failed. one of the great triumphs of modernism's failure to stop orienting things around pedophiles and/or the production of traumatized men. quick shoutout to canon event musician quincy jones.

wahey. a palate cleanser by every sense of the phrase. the thing about sabbath (and pre bob rock Metallica for that matter) is just how Heavy they managed to make standard adjacent tunings sound. none of that steve vai 7 string shit. none of that fishman strandberg shit. (to quote puritanical cracker nick) straiht fuckin Tone. also helps that everyone in the band's top 150 in their fields all time. changes is an all timer. crazy that on top of the everything they're ALSO synth guys. the entire A-side is all time stuff tbh. that little samba breakdown in supernaut?????? thank you 1000 Homo DJs. B-side's the slugier drugged out (probably why it starts with the cocaine song) twin. weaker but still dece. 3.8-4.3.

fucking. sure. whatever. theyfab clout more like it. that's a lie. i don't think (to do reductive dichotomous pre birth "GEndEr sOcIAlIzatiOn") i've met a single AFAB rocking with sophisti-pop. apart from me and your mom stepping out. we make a happy loving couple. can't believe she's really going out with him. i am having sex with your mother to joe jackson. non-motherfucker. anyways they're cool. i'm always gonna die for albums that tangentially involve (noted dork) thomas dolby. and he produced this! it's all in the ear candy sweeps and synthy flourishes. music that makes you rethink what's possible with technical melody/texture. and the lyrics (always the lyrics). no one (sade is there but she throws Mean curveballs) writes songs like the aforementioned. maybe sting but. i don't wanna think about sting; let alone the big racist M. that said: paddy has a way with the gab. every song has (at least) one line that sticks for cleverness, emotional impact, or just cause it's funny. that's Talent baby. quick shout-out to band 6MOY wendy smith. killer keys and background vocals. 3.8-4.7. seems about right. unfortunately gonna talk about "moving the river" with my own personal (HIPAA bound professional) jesus. "desire as" is an all timer. "blueberry pie" is proto-The Ooz. and i like ferrari. big fan of yt music recommending japan after. when are we getting depeche mode?

FUUUUUUUUUUCK. the motherlode of barrett and co. annoyance™️. shoot me. please. it's fine. go listen to (no like genuinely slow and low's a cover {cover's better but ["king ad rock" in the same tone rev run says "king of rock" is noted] y'know}) Run DMC. young men amongst (the thing about verhoeven esque critique that's so good it's subsumed into what it's targeting is that verhoeven bashes over the head; y'all just slow) frat boys 👁️ . an early exercise in rick rubin slamming the shit out the drum mix. singles are (begrudgingly) classics. well. some of them. back in the day (👵) artists could afford to drop multiple singles. thank you for giving them the ll cool j beats. and reversing the 808 on paul revere. baller move. stop player hating. 3.5. (related but unrelated) why do i (abby has mentioned this) share a bday with ad rock? is it bad that there were multiple moments that reminded me of SNL Sandler (and/or YFM)? anyways. it's objectively funny that kerry king had to take time off from writing Reign in Blood to bash power chords for MCA. albums recommended by yt music: body count, the EMF album, shout at the devil. i mean. why not. style boyz in the house. and we gives a fuck. so whip out your nuts and shut the.... (actually related) it's cool i can recognize the sample family tree (eg run dmc samples on the new style to travis scott sampling it for CAROUSEL). posse in effect gated reverb on the 808 snare>>>. that's the note. the other note: slow ride (+ time to get ill)? i Know these niggas aren't serious right now. but are you niggas SERIOUS right now? i have similar thoughts on girls. AR built like lena dunham indeed.

aw beans. im not cracker™️ but we push forth. you hear all this rah rah about REM inventing the concept of indie/alt rock (some of its true but it's a little. overEmphasized) and you listen to this and realize who they're biting right down to the Hook. pun intended. get off his Peter. mcGangbang of Four more like it. it's a debut. they get to original ideas eventually. not here. but eventually. still good jangle. 3.5-4.1. (related but unrelated) god. please tell me there's a Stephen Hague produced bootleg of catapult in the wild. i'm sure he was a dick to you guys but fucks sake. have a bit of synth in there. and a chorus. (it exists. it's lowk PEAK {maybe dial it down a bit on the chorus and dial in the synth patch. [them american boys in the comments like "rem sounds timeless!!! like they could've been a band in the 60s!!!" Buddy. i can pinpoint the exact boroughs of Manchester/NYC they're aping] it's a demo for a reason. must've been the principle.}) (actually related) 9-9 gives me a fucking aneurysm. we jump from closer era joy division intro to bright verses to a police ass chorus to a smiths type bridge. alright guys. we got it. bisexual ass song.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. remind me not to read my FAGGOT friend lyle's review. so called "free thinkers" when distortion or yelling in music. so called "free thinkers" who want a medal a cookie or "good boy" praise after noticing an amen break™️. look. you already know why we're here. im kevin durant. you know who i am. they left "get this" (top 5 off deluxe but very important to me™️) off the album. go listen to that if you not fw me. i already Know y'all not fw me. but u gotta FW my drip. and the shitknot hoodie is Drip. OWOGH. 4.2. first ⁶🤷‍♂️⁷ tracks are all time stuff. second half is noticeably weaker (see stuff i said about aimee mann and "having" to make albums longer than 40+ minutes because "we have the technology™️") but you Have to listen to scissors b4 u kick it.

now that's more like it. 4.5-5.

sure. i mean sure. not a single jazz record but sure. what i'm gathering is that by 1985 (circa head on the door + pre the other albums i've listened to) the cure had Basically completed the process of degothing and re-alting. which sucks. cause i love a lil bit of goth rock. a LITTLE BIT. most bands know no moderation. robert smith and co. got it like that though. thinking of that one old tumblr post about emo vs goth vs punk. there really is a perverse beauty in it all. tl;dr the best goth rock has more shoegaze in it than people would like to admit. 3.8-4.2. first two songs are peak. the line between meandering and aesthetic waterboarding (positive) for the rest is. there. cold (arp solina mentioned pt 2) goes full on into enhanced interrogation techniques. ts would've done numbers (if my childhood friends weren't so locked into the screamo/metalcore teenage rebellion soundtrack) for middle school me. don't blame them at all. 2014 kellin quinn Mogs 1982 robert smith.

to quote skydawg: britslop. (although he never clarified if that was a play on britpop. cause libertines aren't. but this is.) to quote joi diddly: fauxasis to get original ideas down: the musical equivalent of "break in case of be here now being good enough to keep the 'cool britannia' soft power train rolling on." alternatively, BTEC NME (as it turns out they Still think it's a top 300 album of all time; maybe they're just) rubbish. the ending of comedy (+ beautiful {although that song has the added benefit of being perfectly designed sync music for simon cowell and co. to do schadenfreude on the mentally ill [as it turns out the string arranger also worked on x factor themes. ladies/gentlemen/theys i DO this shit]}) sounded nice. add even more cowbell to pull together. that'll fix it. useless fucking shitey blarney merchant geezer wasteyutes. coincidentally this demographic would've loved streets of kenny. music that helps you and your mates cope after realizing "chucking a whitey" isn't just overwrought EDL propaganda; it's also what (probably) happened to richey edwards. since i met you has a nice descending violin line. all the good stuff on this LP's from the violinist's detritus. daniella belongs on a better album. with a better verse chord progression. ultimately we didn't need baggy/shoegaze to beat the gallaghers. what we Really needed was (for copyright purposes) the london suede to pull it out. to end the world's first compliment big mac: captain's table isn't terrible. 0.8-1.4.

a calm, sedated, let's gooooo. i remember being underwhelmed by this. let's see if i'm #stoopid. as it turns out i'm not #stoopid. woke kiss. 3. (related but unrelated) "trash" (to quote noted cheese enjoyer james may) straddles the line between country & western rubbish and fourth album wavves. (actually related) apparently the last two albums suffer from chronic cowbell dependency.

moments like these i'm reminded this list was written by a brit. steve lillywhite jumpscare. an argument: steely dan but Epic. an addendum: no. nvm. 3.2-3.8. add "another girl, another planet" to the (increasingly) long & storied pop music heroin canon. add "the beast" to the "needs to be two minutes shorter" canon. add "language problems" to the "make more of the record like this" canon. "lovers of today" makes the "not on the original tracklist but i fw it" canon. john perry can play the fuck out of a guitar. thank you Mistress Dometria.

now THAT'S MORE LIKE IT. women rock. so hard. despite, y'know. the everything. take that as many ways possible. 4.5-5. listen to "i think i would die" or i'll shoot you myself.

LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO. dare i say biblical scenes have arisen this saturday. quick shoutout to the bass flo remix of butterfly. ryuichi sakamoto mentioned. is it yt uk music critic baby's second (see roni size) jungle album by proxy of winning the mercury prize? probably? is it still good? you fucking bet. is it elite all time jungle? ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ (see decca for why). few things sound like it though 👾. 3.5-3.9.

girl. what? i mean. it's fine. nice even. every song sort of sounds the same but he's not bad at it. better lyricist than cat stevens i can tell you that much. i'm too bored to have an opinion. 2.5. "cynicrustpetefredjohn raga" is worth .8 of that.

i'm gonna be crucified if i dissent against these fucking amish poseurs. genuinely couldn't bring myself to listen to this. it's 1am and i'm just pressing play. getting real tired of this AOR fake rootsy bullshit. it's FINE. just FINE.

i'm gonna fucking kill myself. fuck. same stuff mentioned prior. minus amish stuff. + the fred neil stuff + the "simple desultory" stuff (except steamroller sounds sick) + the fleshing out issues of "parsley sage" + "why is the best song at the end" of hms fable. there's only so many times/ways i can say the same thing. alternatively (to quote the Original 'oh susanna'): "Dis darkie'l surely die." don't worry. you can save me by slaughtering jann wenner. make it painful. 2.5-3.2.

LES GOOOOOOOOOOO. killing myself postponed!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's good. 4.6-5. i don't wanna hear about your gay little white boys™️, ESPECIALLY christian hundred-thousandaire will toledo. they BEEN mogged.

julian cope? with what? archeology? i don't hate it. but i'm confused. OH. i got it now. achtung baby if it was made by a manchild. would love an explanation on that negro line. 0.9-2.1. genuine struggle to get through it all. top review (hung up's the best {he finally shuts the Hell up} before it becomes gibberish Hoopla) as Fuck. alt: https://youtu.be/murk6bZszys

killing myself Was back on. but halle fucking lujah. 4.6-5. not thinking about it more than i need to (although i will note that fool's gold Might not be main tracklist worthy). "bye bye bad man" would be such a Baller end credits track for the last 28 years later. the conclusion i've come to is that there's a line for me. the line's going Full Beatle. never go Full Beatle. Ian's good at #edging.

no. fuck no. motherfucker. fuck you. i hate the english. 2. proto greta van fleet. "Y'All2" - ian cohen. "people who listen to 'dear alcohol' by dax" music - me.

YES! THANK YOU! no cap i'm a lil drunk and i could cry rn. this #saved me. 4-4.4. great until it's just good.

barrett moment incoming. i will never understand how you crackers fell for the strokes. unlike y'all we respect our oldie acts. unless they're #suckaMCs. 4.4-4.7. brilliant a side. skosh weaker b side. you can really tell david bowie was in the studio for this one. there's (at least three) tracks that you can really tell iggy pop penned the lyrics. #noncery.

i mean. fuck it. we chicken nugget. beats are hot. deep voice dude lowk sounds like the aqua teen hunger force theme. third eye chakras activated. going 14/17 ain't too shabby. 4.5.

finally. something made before the advent of personal computing. one minute in and i can already tell i've been grossly underestimating his amount of juice (no pause) for the entirety of my life. yes i watched ray (2004). "i love you so much it hurts." that's it. that's the comment. great a side. alright b side. listen before the tau tangles kick in. 3.8-5.

5. 5. nothing else to add except also listen to the deluxe tracks.

ah beans. shitfuck. i respect bob dylan as a lyricist (mostly). i'm sometimes moved musically. he Might be the wishiest washiest vocalist of all time. one might think (it's me) that the people mad at him for going electric weren't upset at him being a contrarian douche (among other things); instead it was that that the music wasn't worth the hoopla. 3.5. i'm sure i'd care more if i couldn't consult axl rose's nwa quote. i liked outlaw blues 👍.

fuck you. Fuck you. i'm listening to this shit tomorrow i can't be fucking arsed. update: as it turns out i underestimated the distance from NYC to RVA (as wont to do). to quote mr incredible: yeah. i got time. see prior siamese dream review. 10-15 songs: tonight tonight, zero, bullet, to forgive, love (thank god for james iha), cupid de locke (near all timer), porcelina, take me down, in the arms of sleep, 1979, stumbline, we only come out at night, by starlight, farewell and goodnight jellybean + tales of a scorched earth show why keeping the involuntary manslaughter drummer was worth it. galapagos needs a better final chorus. muzzle needs cleanup. where boys + bodies (more oomph) have a really good riff. that's about it. thirty three is dece but i've unfortunately listened to 4 songs like it. eyes of ruby is two minutes too long. xyu is like if you had to cheat writing zero but changed it up so it wasn't too obvious. beautiful + lily just sounds like b sides (the whole second half gets lyrically weaker tbh). 3.7-4.4. this album would be sensational if i'd hadn't listened to 80s u2 before 13.

thank the fucking lord. quite possibly the greatest comeback in all of western pop history? it's 80s shlock. cheese (barrett will eventually show up to mention the yamaha dx7) even. but sometimes that cheese is magareći sir. and the rest has tina fucking turner on it. what's love got to do with it indeed. 2.2-3.1. the good songs hit me in the parts that defend michael franks and sembello in the same breath. the rest makes me sudoku.

i don't know which one of you gonna be annoying about it but i am in fear. also. during pride month big dawg???? dads rock: down to the waterline, six blade knife, sultans of swing, lions fine: southbound again, in the gallery (straddling line between this and) dad slop: water of love, setting me up (should've let john fogerty write it), wild west end (would be fine. but those fucking lyrics. i'm struggling.) requisite "they're good songwriters" comment. requisite "sultans of swing is a good song" comment. requisite "good enough English singers to turn off the fake fucking accent" comment. 2.9-3.8. i'm getting Tired of jerking off true brexit geezers.

what in the fuck. alright man. as someone who's used the plugin this album's named after........ the brexit geezer jerking off will continue until morale improves. this time it's a geezer with Allegations! i already gave MJ a 5. let's see if This MJ can let the "separating the art from the artist" talk again. i don't hate the first track. should've just let ratatat write it (and made it two minutes shorter). i like the second track. but how is it NEO if you're using the SAME psychedelic organ presets. requisite weird time signature track (9/4). all this hoopla for (essentially) intimacy era bloc party + congratulations era MGMT. unfortunately "the soft side" + "each time we pass" land like 2007 jake brown after the. y'know. is this positive? is this negative? find out next time on DBZ. this time on DBZ: the album starts to get good with its "opener". next time on DBZ: they end two songs too early. 3.5-4.1 (on quality basis. you don't need to hear this before you die). pitchfork bait. glad to know i made the right allegation band decision (DIIV FTW). addendum: a. damn they broke up on my birthday lmao b. apparently he sued for libel and got (i assume only in the UK) the original allegation post taken down. whether that's SLAPPy or another example of the "marx christ" leftist ouroboros taking itself out rather than punching up...... ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

the british reject island jerking will commence shortly. some good ol' fashion capital P punk. unfortunately by this point generation x were doing cooler things. if you're getting out creatived by billy idol there's something to be done. ed manages to do some things 🌞. (at least) a-tier lyricist by punk standards. crazy chorus on "memories are made of these". mad decent though. goes on a run from "private affair" to "no, your product" (re "i wanna crash out"; you and me both dude). goes on Another run from "run down" to "untitled" (re "orstralia": ring the Based alarm. the horns really work on this one). last two tracks are a bit shits and giggs. i can't hate that. i'm lying. but i make exceptions 👾. 3.4-4.5. can't wait to win a niche off against some adjunct professor.

.........sounds about right. onward and zepward. my tolerance for cock rock has lessened over the years. that said my thoughts on the zep™️ are that the real Weirdos were doing coke in an ontologically evil enough city (Birmingham) to invent Real metal. still good though. 3.8-4.3. the riff at the end of "babe i'm gonna leave you" is just "25 or 6 to 4" without upstrokes. lowk nonce libertarian high school music teacher jumpscare. addendum: a. https://x.com/vincestaples/status/2048811163715346874?s=20 b. jimmy page is a Great vocalist in the same way post quincy MJ is. just because your voice Can do that doesn't mean that it Needs to.

ah shit 🤪. let's get bizzayyyyyyy! i respect his commitment to the bit. it's one note but a very good note. except the actual bit songs. i get it. but you kept them on the album????? 4.1-5.

oh Brother 🙄. certified "one of you guys will be Annoying" moment. a profoundly double virgo-an data dump of an album. good thing i like double virgo. great thing these guys can sequence. bad thing they have musical commitment issues. iffy thing on the "production value don't matter" (would've been fine if he remembered to turn down the vocal track on "always crush me") front. 4-4.3. i'm gonna go listen to "no smoking in the hallway" now.

you might as well kill me instead. please. kill me instead. see cock rock tolerance comment circa led zeppelin review. at least the zep™️ have the "not AOR" thing going for them. nothing against AOR (apart from the obvious) but you guys did "homophobia racism night" at comiskey park for *checks notes* m-m-m my sharona???? 2.7-3.1. lots of lowk nonce libertarian high school music teacher jumpscares. addendum: this nu metal ass intro to "something about you". maybe it'll all make sense once i smoke some 70s reggie.

i don't care anymore. more true brexit geezers™️. my hands will never get tired. as the fullest of the "full Beatle" archetype (see stone roses review) let it be known there's nothing wrong with grandma music. you fucking children. will the indie huzz get mad if i say i hear sweet trip in this? will the (group of people that def exists) mature sophisti-pop mommies still fw me if i say the first three tracks make me want to "surrender" (word to swing out sister)? do i even give a shit? 3.8-5. thank god we not a Nigerians. thank god (re jill scot freestyle - rx papi: i wouldn't mind if fela kuti beat ur ass) we not a Nigerians. i would've ripped them EMI niggas a new asshole if they touched down in Kumasi. this yoruba white boy reggae grandma music ass b side. alas. i bought the ticket. i must ride.

i recant and regret my prior statement on accepting the true brexit geezer wanksesh. these hands are now officially rated E for Everyone. bitch. i respect the audacity. i'm also straight up Not enjoying the music. band is fine but the songs are not hitting. i want to like "christmas" but some grinch shit comes up every few bars. and the lyrics/plot. shocking. grim even. finished the first LP, got to the CSA portion (among others), and realized they'd completely failed to have any of these songs stand on their own two feet (excluding sally simpson - welcome). 0.5-2.5. what the fuck does pinball have to do with any of this?

fuck. fuck. FUCK. i hate the english. apologies for giving up the good fight. i saw english again and lost the will to go on. alas. i must keep it pushing. also purple rain's on the docket. things Might be looking up. sandy's got a dolores o'riordan thing going on that i'm fw HEAVY. however (comma) the songs are just alright. 3.3.

i appreciate everything you guys did for metal. however (comma) i liked it better when it was called "killing is my business and business is good". all the good stuff sounds like load metallica. nothing wrong with load metallica. they're just fine. which is the problem. 1.5-2.4. just listen to iron maiden like a good little NWOBHM fan.

it's purple rain. 5.

oh boy! Aerosmith but with the horrors of 80s rock production. fuck. FUCK. 1.2-2.4. see cock rock tolerance comments. "i got a girlfriend with the hoochy-coochy eyes" you are 41. "love in an elevator" works though.

back to back aerosmith. it's like you want us to off ourselves. some good ol' southern rock. meaning pedophiles are involved in some way (obvi). all i'm saying is that when i say "fuck indie sleaze" I'M the bad guy????? 2.3-3.1. "big ten inch record" is an affront to humanity. i liked the songs i'd already heard though (+ opener/closer).

it's in rainbows. 5.

cautiously optimistic i am. let's get punky. derry boys getting active. i might have a soft spot for punk. however (comma) these are songs about nothing (political at least). proto pop punk perchance? 2.7-3.5. it's aight.

look man. sometimes the one hit wonder's a one hit wonder for a reason. yes i already watched the "one hit wonderland" on come on eileen. lighting in a bottle they attempt to recapture 9 times. more AOR than previously thought. call them Brighton. more than a feeling, innit. 2.3-2.5.

how it feels getting through these fucking albums. getting real tired of the bullshit. REAL tired. great title track. too much cowbell. a bunch of overglorified teeny bopper stuff. with occasional reminders why MJ singing decades beyond his young years was such a revelation. nothing against teenybop. i Better see nsync on this fuckass list then. 3.1-3.5.

just the Right amount of 60s race politics (and occasional misogyny) to get phOnkyyyyyyy. good juneteenth pick. 3.5-5.

not the first racist folker to write some (one and a half note) heaters. definitely not the last. 3.4-4.3.

singles band. however (comma) decent album cuts. i thought i'd hate the blues track but they make it work. 3.7-4.2.

4 seconds in and i already know the sort of triple j spider fucking i'm about to receive. no. fuck No. full Beatle™️ violators. circa clockstoppers (2002) capitol records 90s distillation "walkie talkie man" bogshite. the faggy warhols™️ even. if only Bruce Almighty could save me now. 0.5-2.

why is the "hard rock" band mixed like the beastie boys. why is the "hard rock" band mixed like flock of seagulls. why is it (somewhat) tolerable? why am i unable to rate any of these songs? the vocals. anyways. cathy duran duran. 1.7-2.5.

white boy tweaking off the coke and lines moves to berlin and is introduced to krautrock. tale as old as time. unlike his nonce geeker roommate he forgot to write hooks (and puts the good songs on the b side). 3.5-4.4.

we are living the good life 2nite (word to kevin saunderson). never has an album sounded more like 1989™️. am I really gonna give the hi nrg eurobeat win to SAW? yes. yes i am. together forever babayyyy. unlike these tracks on streaming. thank you admin for uploading it to the tube. that all said there's some heaters. and some synth patches that will never be touched again (unless you're making futuristic skate graffiti music). 2.7-3.8. i will never forgive you evil white fucks for foisting fatboy slim and moby upon us when this shit already existed.

in my heart im unfortunately still the dorky repressed 12 year old who watched kingdom hearts AMVs. i was looking for AOT crack but i digress. 3.7-4.2. more late 90s rnb than previously thought. crackers ignored the ones where shinoda was doing his best busta rhymes™️ for the eminen flows. i don't respect you as a people.