*sigh* Okay. Yeah, this all just sounds like parody to me at this point. It's earnest to the point of being silly. There's obviously craft involved here, and Karen Carpenter has a lovely voice, but the overall effect is just emphatically not for me. Like listening to the fever dream of someone in a diabetic coma.

I get it, but it's not for me. I think I'd rather just read a collection of short stories about these characters than listen to this. Also, does anyone actually ENJOY listening to a harmonica? At no point do I ever want to hear loud, atonal blatting just farting over the entire song. It's just unpleasant.

Oh, this is ambient background music for hipster coffee shops. I feel like I missed a lot of 00s indie as it was happening, but going back much of it feels flat and rather lifeless. This is no exception, so I guess I didn't miss much.

OK, I get it. Dad rock bad, 80s pop shallow. This is clearly not an album for Serious Music Appreciators. Which is great, because then I can crank Panama the fuck up and chase all the dreary, try-hard, tedious wankers away and enjoy myself. Because that's the thing some people seem to forget: joy and exuberance are human experiences that are worthy of celebrating. And duh, this particular brand of dude rock need not appeal to everyone. But you know, sometimes you end up in a class with a very attractive instructor and words fail you. Well, Van Halen's got you. Just raise your hand and yell "I brought my pencil!" And that'll probably work out great. Also, Eddie is a wizard and Dave is a genial doofus. So relax, enjoy life a little. Just reach down, between your legs... and ease the seat back.

An interesting album, in that I don't ever actually need to hear any of the big hits off of it, really. They rather saturated both MTV back in the day, and classic rock radio ever after. But they're enduring for a reason, just excellent 80s pop rock. I'm not mad when they come on, you know? The album cuts are... there, I guess. "Thug" is trying to do something. What that is, exactly, I'm not sure, but the bass is wilding out and that's kinda fun. Generally speaking, the 80s were pretty rough for the big, influential acts of the 60s and 70s. I mean, look no further than Jefferson Starship to illustrate the point. With this record, ZZ Top fared a little better than, say, Steve Miller. You can still hear that lil ol band out of Texas under all the glitzy sheen of 80s production, at least. And good for that one lady in "Legs." I assume that's a feel good story of triumph over the adversity of being unable to walk, but now she has legs and knows how to use them?

I would have enjoyed this quite a bit more if it were a tighter experience. Not only is the album too long, but pretty much every song is roughly two minutes overlong. That said, this is a heavy vibes record, so if you're not feeling it the album will seem interminable. That said Bittersweet Symphony holds up, even if I never really need to hear it again. If I could give half stars, I would, but alas.

Ooh, my first 5 star! The funny thing is, there isn't much left to say about it. The skits are a terrible waste of time, they've always been pointless. For some reason, it was the style at the time. But the juvenile dipshittery can be overlooked because of the sheer talent on display. The weaker tracks are only weak because they exist next to things like Gimmie the Loot and motherfucking Juicy, you know? It's a classic for a reason. Fuck Puffy for real, though.

I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it's, you know, fine. It's not quite passive, ambient background music, but it's close. Frank Ocean is an artist I've heard a lot about, but never really sought out. I can see how this is a new direction for R&B, which I appreciate, however it's missing something. Soul? Simmering rage beneath the funk? This album feels very smooth, like there's not much being said. The only time I started to get really into a track - Pyramids - it turns out the thing is 10 damn minutes long and thus loses some steam. That said, I don't hate it. Just didn't register much. Sure do with I could rate half stars, because this is a straight 2.5 - but, it gets the benefit of rounding up.

Well, it's certainly no Skylarking, but by no means is it terrible. This is one of those records where my initial reaction is: "it's interesting!" And then after some reflection: "it's interesting!" Nothing really reached out to grab me, but I was relatively engaged throughout. I get the sense it would reward relistening, but there's not quite enough gravity to pull me back in. Oh, and that dictionary song is bad. Like bad bad. Like I worry about people who think it's good bad.

Oh man, the energy radiating off this thing. Definitely the cocaine to The Velvet Underground's heroin (although who are we kidding, it's clearly an all of the drugs situation). I was a little surprised at the 7+ minute long freakouts, which I could probably do without, but the proto-punk attitude carries the entire record. I doubt I would listen straight through again, but Down On The Street is a banger and I'm glad I checked this out. Good to know the roots of one of my favorite genres. 3.5 rounded up.

Early albums like this can be difficult to rate. The way things worked were just so different then, right? Anyway, as a collection of songs, this is fine. But as a talent? As influence? R-E-S-P-E-C-T. You get it. Anyway, 5/5 as a milestone, but imma give it a three.

On the one hand, this is the weakest of Stevie's legendary 70s run of albums. So, you know, there's only like two certified all-timers on here. This record is a bit slower, and the vibe is definitely a bit heavier. Also, You Haven't Done Nothin' still being as relevant as ever is quite the disappointment.

I've always wanted to like prog rock more than I do. And while I do enjoy Rush, it's mostly classic rock radio nostalgia. I never had a full on Rush phase... probably because I'm too impatient to really immerse myself fully in a prog rock concept album. A personal failing, I'm sure.

Early albums are weird and difficult to rate. This has some classic, formative songs on it. "Oh Boy," "That'll be the Day," stuff like that. Sonic wallpaper for those of us over 35. I'll probably never go out of my way to hear these songs again, but I won't mind if they're on somewhere. 2.5 rounded up.

Ah, the super random album selection today is... huh. Well good call because any Ozzy is good Ozzy, and I've actually never listened to this one! Which is a shame cuz it fucking rules. I don't have much to add to the billions of words being written about the legend, suffice to say the legend is accurate. RIP to a metal god.

Cut the overall time on this by a third and it would be so much better. Not every song has to be over 4 minutes! Still, better than I expected considering I had never heard of these guys. I assume their inclusion boils down to "semi-popular, from Northern Ireland." Not exactly essential, though. Still, cool stuff.

Look, I was like 9 or 10 the first time I listened to this album, on cassette tape, as one did in the late 80s, and it was transformative. I don't know what to tell you, but there's no objectivity with this. Paradise City hit my impressionable brain and never left. Even now, I dunno, there's something urgent and pressing about this record. It's gross and grimy, and real in a way their peers were not. And yeah, obviously Axl is Axl, with all that entails. But the band rips, the first half of Rocket Queen just SOUNDS like LA felt in the late 80s, and it's still one of the all time great debut albums of all time.

All timer. Incisive writing, impeccable flow. The production is a bit murky, but it also just feels one with the time and place. The atmosphere and vibe of this record are second to none. It's one of those classic debuts that the artist spends their entire career chasing, and never quite catch. Which, considering the success and accolades Nas has achieved over the years is saying something. Even with my distinct West Coast bias, this is still a great album.

This is a landmark; it is a super important album stuffed with incredible songs... that I'm not sure resonate with me much anymore. Which is wild, but the truth. Great, innovative work all around, but I never need to hear Iron Man again. Still, legendary stuff. RIP Ozzy, the world will never see another like you.

Jazz... but funky. Which makes it a better jazz. I wish I enjoyed jazz more, but generally when I hear it all I hear any more is Andy Samburg in Brooklyn 99: skiddley be bop, jazz! This at least I can put on and find bits I enjoy. The first track in particular is fun, and as people have pointed out, I bet this really shines live. 2.5 rounded up.

And here I thought Madness was a ska band. I was expecting peak British 2 Tone 2nd wave ska and get... well whatever is happening here. It's not terrible? Kinda goofy in parts, dabbling in New Wave for sure. Also, that motherfucker is for sure in brown face sitting in front of a cobra or some shit. The 80s were wild, holy shit. Anyway, 2.4 rounded down. And mostly because Our House is a bop.

It's Prince. It's like spring weather in England. If you don't like it, wait five minutes. This isn't my favorite Prince album, but it's still worth a listen. It's mildly dated, but what the hell, it's still Prince. I don't have a great deal to add, not a lot stood out, songwise. A perfectly cromulant time.

So, I am by no means an electronic music conisseuer. Not a hater, just generally not for me with some exceptions. I'm definitely familiar with the hits off this record, because monoculture, but I was never spurred to dig any deeper. To my surprise, I enjoyed this! I absolutely need to be in a particular mood for it, but despite the repetitive nature of this album, it's good. Plus it ends with a sick L7 cover, which I did not expect.

This one starts strong but kind of peters out and then ends with an extended... audio collage? Common is an upper echelon rapper, there's some pretty great pre-psycho Kanye production, but it just doesn't carry the momentum for me. I end up wanting to like it more than I do.

Okay, yeah - I just don't understand folk/singer-songwriters as a genre. I didn't enjoy listening to this, and I likely won't listen to it again, just emphatically not for me. That said, I see the appeal for certain tastes, and she's and important artist in her own right. Plus, she's roughly 100x more listenable than Bob Dylan, so she's got that going for her.

I get it, it's bland, mellow to the point of catatonia, arguably even dull. Steely Dan is for the technicians. For people who play instruments like an engineer. And you know, good for them, I guess. Personally, I like music based in emotion expressed a little more spontaneously. I'm impressed with the technical wizards and all, but I gotta have a little feeling in there to get properly invested. That said! Some of these songs are great - true mellow classics to kinda vibe out too. The rest are the definition of inoffensive.

I knew my annual attempt at trying to understand the appeal of Radiohead was coming up! Turns out... I still don't get it. I listen to so much music! So many genres and eras! I try every so often to figure this out because they are so damned revered but I just do. Not. Get. It. There's like on medium tempo song on this thing and the rest of the tracks just feel like they're drowning. And Thom Yorke sings like he's half heartedly trying to haunt me and failing. It's warbly ghost music and I can't make myself care about it.

Another album I ended up liking more than I thought I would. Thanks again, Classic Rock Radio! I don't have a ton to add here. It's light rock with a slight edge to it - enough to spur Lynard Skynard to respond with a diss track. For the record, I believe this is the first time I've listened to "Alabama." Where's the lie, Skynard? Anyway, I've had "Heart of Gold" stuck in my head all day.

My West Coast shows whenever I talk about hip hop, I think, because Wu Tang has never quite really hit for me the way I want it to. Like this is fine. Knuckleheadz is a cool song. I don't ever really need to hear a full minute of... "dialogue" before every track, though, and the production on this record is murky as shit. The actual rapping is generally solid, at least, but sometimes it feels like you have to do sonic archeology to uncover the actual bars. Still waiting for a proper West Coast classic to pop up though, because this NYC shit is, you know, not as good.

This is one of those artists that probably only really, truly hit if you were there and receptive to the vibe. I can listen to this for the first time now and hear them in dozens of bands I love, but the raw material is just that, raw. It's cool, but as more of a historical curiosity for me.

Is the inclusion of this album simply "isn't it weird this came out at the same time as a much better album by a more famous band?" It's fine for what it is, but what it is isn't particularly noteworthy.