A Short Album About Love

is this a satire album? this shit is CHEESE and a snoozefest

Rank Sinatra

I feel like this is a joke. Like, who said “Yes, chamber pop! Let’s make an album!” Awful

Shocked there are two Divine Comedy albums on this list...must have hit harder in the UK. Nothing I would ever choose to listen to. 1.5/5

Jesus, this is a more pretentious, less skilled Father John Misty.

“If” is really for the real yearners. Other than that most of the songs were more or less the same. Not great but not awful

Not short enough. Did we really have to hear from this clown TWICE?!

Not sure how this made it. Nothing redeemable whatsoever

Wow, I really hated this. Out of curiosity, I looked up the lyrics to If on Genius, and now I feel like I'm kink shaming by hating this album and those lyrics. But there's nothing about any of this that's for me, and the general tone for almost every song gave me the ick. Everybody Knows (Except You) is major stalker vibes, like no means no, man.

The Good: It’s a short album… The Bad: One would hope that love would get more attention The Ugly: This is album isn’t short enough, divine enough, and it made me cry… What a heaping pile of absolute horseshit. If I would want to listen to music that emulates, in the worst possible way, crappy ‘70s music, I would play crappy ‘70s music, instead of this pile of excrement. I am seriously starting to doubt the fucking sanity of the author of this list, or his taste… Overlooking some massive albums from the ‘90s, yet including things that are “different” in the hopes that 4 people will actually like it and maybe go visit a show in a bingo-parlor when The Divine Comedy has paid for the right to make us want to gauge our ears with sharp-ended pencils… Should not come as a surprise that I give this 1*

Tretti minutter med endimensjonal og drøv smørsang. "If" fikk meg i det minste til å trekke på smilebåndet.

Not funny enough to be satire. Not good enough to be this far up its own ass. Whole thing feels like a theater geek’s wet dream of the album that will finally make regular people appreciate musicals. Worthless.

Nope

I've been at this for exactly a week now and this is already the THIRD boring Euro-pop band that's come up! Enough with this late 90's crap, too! I hope I'm getting front loaded with all this garbage and the good stuff is coming later. Also, I assume the douchey, pretentious cover is supposed to be an homage to Blue Note Records. Is it an homage, though, if it's a blatant rip-off? Lyrically, this album is some of the most vapid songwriting I've ever heard: "If you were a dog, I'd feed you scraps from off the table though my wife complains." Musically, it sounds like a cheap, off-off-Broadway theatrical production, and the lead vocalist wishes he were David Bowie so hard but falls well short of getting the imitation quite right. If it were possible to give 0 stars, this album would deserve it (or worse). As it is, however, they should find themselves fortunate that I begrudgingly award them 1 star.

Not sure if I'm missing something from the big picture, but it just seems overly corny and too overproduced for it's own good.

Grown up theater kid makes Niel Diamond/Morrissey crossover in the worst way possible. I was relieved this was a short album. At multiple points I questioned if this was supposed to be satire, I still think it may be, especially due to the name of the artist? I don't know, but I won't be relistening

David Fonseca

No.

1 stern

At least it was short

I really like comedy albums. When I was a kid, my favorite albums were Weird Al Yankovic in 3-D and Monty Python's Contractual Obligation album. This album is funny, but you can tell that they didnt really mean it as a joke or maybe even bitter Irish irony. Its pretty bad, and I have no idea how this ends up on a list like this. 1/5

Everybody Knows (Except You)

Trying to sound like making a James Bond theme but failing spectacular. Dreadful stuff.

Thankfully it was only 30 minutes!

Really wanted to like the Divine Comedy if for no other reason than National Express, which I never get tired of listening to. But this is just shite.

Ambitious orchestral and cinematic a bit like Nick Cave or Tom Waits, but with a 90s indie sensibility. Slow and melodramatic songs with a big crooning baritone vocal. The best songs, at root, are blues piano & guitar based rock dressed up to sound like an opera, the worst ones ditch the rock and go fully orchestral arrangements and composition. Respect for the songwriting and performances, but this really has 0 appeal to me and I can't understand who the audience for this maudlin grindingly dull bloated stuff is? A few good lines though - "If you were a horse, I'd clean the crap out of your stable" - that have enough of a sense of humor to save it from being the most up itself thing imaginable. And the trumpets are pretty cool. Favorite: I'm All You Need

It’s like a homage to Nick Cave, without his wit or talent.

It's like the worst Neil Diamond but mixed with shit.

This is bad music. So bad it’s almost funny. Almost. Instead, it made me angry.

I went from finding this bland to actively disliking it at track 4. I hope there's no more of this band on the list.

There should not be two albums by this artist on the list. This one doesn't even have Songs of Love on it, so it's completely useless.

It was ok. Kind of forgettable

WTF was this BS

- the joke is good ..... once. -

Awful! Worst album I've listened to so far. Made a conscious decision to listen to every track on every album but this one was a tough one to get through. Very droney and miserable without any real meaning or emotion.

Ok?

If any album convinces me that overblown production, an excessive swelling string section and over the top vocals don't convey much in the way of emotion, it's this album. It comes across like a pastiche of the kind of performance characteristic of 1960s/1970s light entertainment TV shows. I'm not familiar with The Divine Comedy - maybe this is a deliberate pastiche?

Not for me. 1/5

One album by the Divine comedy was more than enough. The second one in two weeks.

Not for me

Alternative/ Jazz/ Song writer. Not sure the genre. But, ok.

I didn’t expect this to be more depressing than Morrissey (which was the pick I got before this one) but here we are. Tough going, life is hard enough without suffering through this.

This is the 2nd divine comedy album that has come up and it’s worse than the other one. No idea why this is in the list!

A tad boring, isn't it?

Don't get the hype

Please. Why do I hate this man? Are there more than two albums on the list? Please, you’re ruining everything. (ntm.)

My god what utter rubbish. If you’d like to hear some actually successful chamber pop, do yourself a favor and go listen to Rufus Wainwright’s “Want One”. This album, on the other hand, should be consigned to the dustbin of history.

Glad it was short. It wasn't my jam. It's funny how close it is to, and yet also how far away from, The Magnetic Fields 69 Love Songs that this short album about love really is. Same topic, proximate vocals, some dry-ish humor and yet one has all the charm, wit, and magic mix of sparkle and darkness I could ask for while the other just feels dumb. If you haven't figured it out by now, you'll be able to tell which this album is in my opinion by the rating.

Horrible

Ekki fyrir mig

The joke is on us.

Ugh. No.

It sounds like the singer from Floater doing a bad impersonation of Frank Sinatra. The lyrics are so comically bad that I genuinely had to check and see if they were joking. They were not.

Really, really disliked this. Aesthetically, sonically, lyrically. Oof.

I would ask why and how this album got on this list, but I'm guessing it has something to do with the repeat references to Scott Walker I found in reviews.

Liian myhäilevää. Tavoitellaan satumaisuutta (musikaalimaisesti) pelkäämättä korniutta, vaikka pitäisi. Pitkästä aikaa tekee mieli inhota, vaikka ihan niin voimakkaita tunteita tämä ei herätä. Onneksi oli lyhyt.

Huonoa Disney-musiikkia aikuisille.

Cansionsita de amor no pls

a boring album about love

absolutely dreadful, irredeemable, it’s existence on this list is a confounding mystery to all with ears

Is he stalking this girl or does he just really love horses? The world may never know.

Sweet, enamel-eating love songs. Even if you're not diabetic, it will kill you. Boring. 1/5

I tried, but I really couldn't get into this. It had no appeal to me in any way.

Not my jam

Not for me

Just don’t like his voice. I’ve tried.

I have never heard of this band and had zero expectations. Unfortunately, it is one of the worst albums I've ever heard.

It never made me care about anything he sang.

made me irate

This feels like They Might Be Giants met Jonathan Coulson, went to England and wrote the wackiest lyrics about love they could come up with, and then performed with an eye rolling, muscle pulling, wink as Frank Sinatra for hipster chamber pop, but demanded to be taken seriously, even though the word Comedy is right there in the band's name. Not funny enough to be funny and not serious enough to be taken seriously. Just more terrible Nick Cave-ous stuff. The Divine Comedy feels like an acquired taste that I cannot seem to acquire. Or an acquired disease I need penicillin for. I understand what they are doing, but it just seems like a pointless exercise in juxtaposition and irony. "If" is an uncomfortable creep fest. It's like Hannon heard Radiohead's "Creep" and said "Here, hold my tea." The difference being that I think Cannon is trying to be earnest. Not here for the Schmaltz. What circle of hell am I in? This is another one of those albums that makes me feel like we are being trolled by the list maker.

Really unlistenable, just not my style at all

Seriously, a second bizarro album from this artist? Art thou sane? Or you trying to drive us crazy?

I can’t stand this stuff.

Icky

I did not enjoy this album. I am glad it was short. It was like Frank Sinatra, but not as catchy. Also, not in the 50s, this album is from 1997! So many greats in this decade, and this album is not one of them. Favorite Song(s): N/A

Insipid music

Not for me. Couldn’t get past song #2

"The friend who claims he can sing who had enough cash to hire an orchestra - The album". Sounds very dull and boring.

Neil is talented as a lyricist, but I find the music boring and moaney. This album is better off on someone else's shelf than mine.

You didn’t miss anything with this one. Move along

Not a fine of the guy’s lounge singer voice.

No thanks

Tarkoituksella awkward sanoitukset haha hauskaa.. Vituttaa vaan kun ei kunnolla hauskat kun pitää keskittyä rakkausteemaa eli tulee semmone paskasekotus joka ilmesesti haluttu saada aikaan melodiat täysin samaa koko 36 minuuttia hohhoijaaa.. Hauska näinhän se menee rakkausalbumeissako heh.. Ensimmäisen ironiakerros annetaan ilmaiseksi eli heh ei olekkaan perusrakkauslaulu eriskummaliset sanat hahah awww... rakkaus.. Toinen ironiakerros pitää katsojan yrittää löytää päänsä sisältä. Hän voi esimerkiksi ajatella että albumi pilkkaa rakastavaisia jotka kuuntelevat albumia ja naurahtavat välillä kun tulee höpsön söpö lyriikka.. Tämä ei kuitenkaan ole tarpeeksi cope... Sen takia tarvitaan kolmasironiakerros, harmillisesti tämä kolmaskerros, vaikka olisi ihan hauska konseptualisoida päässä, ei riiittäisi tekemään tästä albumista mitään spesiaalia niinkuin esim röökiä vetänä albumi jossa jo toinen ironiakerros ylsi viiteen tähteen. Korkeampien ironiakerrosten tutkiminen voi olla tarpeellista mutta on todennäköistä että tästä albumista ei voi tarpeeksi älykäs ihminen nauttia...

Really not my thing

This ain't it, I certainly appreciate that it was a short album about love. Such lame lyricism god damn. 1.5/5 Fav track: If I were you

Drek.

Fuckin yuck

Complete garbage. At least it was short

Not even funny, just toxic. And a symphonic orchestra cannot save lackluster music. This makes me lose hope for humanity.

Could not find any joy with this one.

Nice but sooo boring

This was like a parody of… something bad.

AJ: I like the album title. Strings and horns sounded good. This mostly sucked. There are more than a few “what the fuck did he just say!?” lyrics. Some had me questioning if it was some botched attempt at a comedy album. I don’t get it at all. Wikipedia called it “baroque pop.” Who’s fucking idea was that? I am not a happy burger. Cat: this sounds like the soundtrack from a one man off Broadway musical

Blueh, noiosi

Hard pass.

unbelievable that these bozos got two albums onto the list

The best part about this was that it was the shortest album I've heard so far on this 1001 list. Good god was this a difficult listen. Crap lyrics and some of the worst singing ever - it reminded me of something who thinks they can sing like Sinatra except they're a 2 time divorcee doing karaoke at his local bar trying to pick up chicks half his age. How did this group win a record contract!? 2/10.

Reading Stevie's review informing me there are no other James Brown albums on this list at the same time that I start listening to this one is not a good combo. In fact, it's a recipe for disaster. I don't think I would have given them even 3 stars but I sure as hell won't be now. This wasn't a great album and I found it boring, and now wanting compared to a JB album.

Dunce of an album. Bland, boring, forgettable. The spiritual successor to that really lame baroque pop Scott Walker album that I couldn't stand. It's an unearned attempt to make a Frank Sinatra's "My Way" seven times in a row. Never heard of this group (or guy, if it's a Tame Impala situation), but I certainly don't think I was missing much. British bias to the maximum degree here, replace this shite with a James Brown album ASAP. Soundtrack of a man refusing to die. Favorite tracks: If... Album art: Based on this cover/title, I had high expectations. It looks cool and mysterious, and it suggests an inspired concept. The music is just so lame. 1/5

Comedy or not, comedibly bad from my perspective

so awful and terrible it was like hearing the only straight man in your high school theatre department wax poetic about his horrid love life. God I wish I could give it a 0/10

Oh no, not again. First time I ran across this fucker on the list I was too nice and gave him a 2. We'll, today you're getting a 1 my man. Not because it's an entirely unlistenable monstrosity - that would be much more interesting - no, it's because it is an emotionally disingenuous piece of mediocre melodrama. Just shameless watered down Scott Walker. And, and, and... It simply does not belong on the list. Just look at the skeletal Wikipedia entry for this one, it tells you everything you need to know: nobody gives a shit. This had goddamn well better be the last time we meet here Divine Comedy. The fact that you are taking up 2 spaces on this list, while Neutral Milk Hotel doesn't even get one, is preposterous.

Wasn't short, didn't feel the love, nor did I get the humor 1 because it was music

1.5 So, his schtick is he does a poppier, strings-heavier take on Sinatra? But coupled with some of the worst lyrics I've ever heard? "If you were a horse I'd clean the crap out of your stable And never once complain" What? Apparently there's room for filler in a list of 1001 greatest albums of all-time. This album is musically mediocre and lyrically painful, and I'm really not sure why this is something I "must hear before I die". On to the next one.

yeah idk tbh, dece sunday tho

I can hear how good he is but I'm just not too into crooning or whatever the right term is for this style of music.

What a bunch of nonsense. I thought that this was satirical halfway through the first listen as this was just too ridiculously bad. On the second listen it was pretty unbearable hearing how dumb the lyrics were. There are some albums that may make sense being on this list even though they aren’t the most enjoyable. This one did not seem to have any importance. 1.8/10

boring

The "crooners with a dreary orchestral background" genre is the last genre that needs to be revisited. Overall I wasn't a fan of the 60s / 70s recordings that were this style. I do enjoy some of those older recordings where the singer was something special but this genre got very tired by the mid 70s and Burt Bacharach et al. were handed their fedora and shown the door. By the late 90s the genre went from being tired to being boring.

Not my style

Too mellow

What a snooze

Tego jeszcze wyspiarze nie grali, popowy album w aranzacjach orkiestrowo synfonicznych, czyli takie brytylskie rubiki, tylko ze klaskania nie ma, ale za to sporo innych dzwiekow przewija sie przez ten krotki, nie tylko z nazwy album o milosci, bo material to 31 na 7 trakach, daj slabemu spiewakowi 20 osobowa orkiestre za plecami a i tak nadal bedzie spiewal o jakis milosnych glupotach, dawno zaden album mnie tak nie znuzyl w tak krotkim czasie, na plejke nic nie leci, bo stawialbym w ten sposob mine losujac traki

Skipped through it. All pretty dull to be honest.

Clearly Neil Hannon is nostalgic for a bygone era in which albums were elaborately arranged and scored for a small army of musicians, with nary a synthesizer in sight. He also tries to resuscitate a style of songwriting which is all about melody. Nothing wrong with either of those two things. But in order for this to work, you have to have the talent to write memorable melodies, and a great deal of taste in orchestration. Neil Hannon has neither. The arrangements are hamhanded and suffocating. His melodies are crap, like a Broadway musical that flops on opening night. Finally, I find his baritone unpleasant, utterly without charm, interpretative skill or nuance. A Short Album About Love may indeed be short, but not short enough for my taste.

I only like one or two songs by The Divine Comedy, and neither of them are on this album. One positive is it's length.

Some of these lyrics are... insane? This is indeed an album of love

i em a stacker

Fav tracks: everybody knows, if i were you, timewatching Es una voz peculiar, a ratos no me gusta mucho Me gusta la dinámica