All Things Must PassGeorge Harrison
57/100: There are two pretty good reasons why most artist don’t throw 11 minute long instrumentals on their albums: few artists wants to slot away a fifth of their album to one song with no lyrics and if you’re instrumental is going to be 11 minutes long, it’s got to be really fucking good, which is hard to do. Well George Harrison found a nifty loophole to avoid that first reason—just make your album 2 hours long so the monstrosity of an instrumental only takes up a tenth of your album. Unfortunately, he found no such loop hole for the second reason. “Out of the Blue” would be a good 4 minute long song, maybe even 5 minutes. But to force listeners to listen to that track for 11 minutes is the most blatant masturbatory stroke of an artist’s own ego I’ve ever seen. Actually, no I take that back. Having a second, 7 minute long instrumental on top of an 11 minute instrumental objectively beats that. Well, actually, throwing two versions of the same song on your album might trump that. Come to think of it, nevermind. Pumping out a 2 hour long triple album takes the cake. We get it, George. You had something to prove because Paul and John were mean to you. One album would have sufficed. Keep “What is Life,” “If Not For You” (a Bob Dylan cover anyway, albeit a nice one), “All Things Must Pass,” “Art of Dying,” just one version of “Isn’t it a Pity,” “Hear Me Lord,” and cut “Out of the Blue” in half then get rid of literally everything else. You’d have yourself a pretty damn good album then. I can’t in good conscience call this album as is a good album though, and I really wanted the plot line of George Harrison, the mistreated musical genius of the Beatles, to be true. Based on this album, it seems like George was treated by the Beatles about as well as he should have been. There are some seriously shocking production decisions on this album, namely in that it appears George Harrison takes so much pride in all of his works that he feels they all are good enough to make an album’s final cut. Just imagine how he’d react when Paul or John told him to ditch a song idea. I mean how dare they insult his musical talent, don’t they know every song he writes is golden? In fact, he has so many golden songs, he should make a 2 hour long triple album, that’s a great idea.