-S Tier- Gimme All Your Lovin’ Got Me Under Pressure Sharp Dressed Man -A Tier- I Need You Tonight -B Tier- Legs -C Tier- Thug Dirty Dog -D Tier- If I Could Only Flag Her Down Bad Girl -F Tier- TV Dinners AVG SCORE: 2.8 / 5 - - - I love ZZ Top up until right about…1983, and this album. It marked an evolutionary moment for the band. Their music, once bluesy and soulful, started leaning hard toward Pop Rock. And it wasn’t all bad. When you fire up Eliminator, you’re hit with some instant classics. But as the album wears on, you start to notice something: this shit is formulaic and hollow, and it all starts to sound the same. Sadly, I think it was a prophecy for the remaining life of ZZ Top. The band slowly degraded into some generic Rock trio, offering nothing of substance beyond a few cool music videos. Their sound would become over-processed. Their brand would become a caricature. And it all started with this forsaken album.

-S Tier- Good Times Roll My Best Friend’s Girl Just What I Needed I’m in Touch with Your World Don’t Cha Stop You’re All I’ve Got Tonight Bye Bye Love Moving in Stereo -A Tier- All Mixed Up AVG SCORE: 4.89 / 5.0 - - - Not only is there not a single skippable song on this album, this is one the closest albums to musical perfection as far as I’m concerned. Absolutely transcendent.

S Tier = Welcome to the Jungle; Sweet Child o Mine A Tier = Mr. Brownstone; Paradise City B Tier = Nightrain; Out Ta Get Me; My Michelle C Tier = It’s So Easy; Rocket Queen D Tier = Think About You; You’re Crazy; Anything Goes

S Tier = Atlantic City; State Trooper; My Father’s House A Tier = Nebraska B Tier = Highway Patrolman C Tier = Used Cars; Reason to Believe D Tier = Mansion on the Hill; Johnny 99; Open All Night

S Tier = Brown Sugar; Can’t You Hear Me Knocking; Bitch A Tier = Wild Horses; Sister Morphine B Tier = Dead Flowers; Moonlight Mile C Tier = Sway; I Got the Blues D Tier = You Gotta Move AVG SCORE: 3.4 / 5 --- I've always appreciated the Stones' impact on music, but have never been what I would consider a "fan." I'd wager that my familiarity with their work is only slightly above average, and many of my favorites are in lock-step with pop culture. Seeing "Brown Sugar," "Can't You Hear Me Knocking," and "Bitch" on the tracklist brought a big smile to my face -- they are my top three Stones songs, after all -- and "Wild Horses" is one I can enjoy when the mood strikes, so I knew from the outset this would be a fun time. But I was also pleasantly surprised by the haunting "Sister Morphine," which instantly hooked me on my first listen. "Dead Flowers" and "Moonlight Mile" didn't quite have the same pull, but they were absolutely serviceable cruising tunes. Really, with the exception of "You Gotta Move," I could just hit shuffle and let this album play without skipping a song. And for that reason, I give it a bump to 4-stars.

S Tier = So Real; Hallelujah; Lover, You Should’ve Come Over A Tier = Grace; Dream Brother; Forget Her B Tier = Mojo Pin; Lilac Wine; Eternal Life C Tier = Last Goodbye D Tier = Corpus Christi Carol AVG SCORE: 3.5 / 5 - - - Sickeningly beautiful. Top to bottom. I’ve listened to it 4x today. I feel certain that, based on my mood, any of these songs could at least be “A Tier” in the moment. Is it possible to have a crush on an album?

-S Tier- ***n/a*** -A Tier- The Queen is Dead Bigmouth Strikes Again -B Tier- Frankly, Mr. Shankly I Know It’s Over There Is a Light That Never Goes Out Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others -C Tier- Never Had No One Ever -D Tier- Cemetery Gates Boy with a Thorn in His Side Vicar in a Tutu AVG Score: 2.5 - - - This strikes me as highly mood-dependent music. Nothing transcends to the point of genuinely wanting to randomly hear it while going about my day, but most of the tracks would fit perfectly in my 80’s playlist for when the mood strikes. To its credit, it had to follow Jeff Buckley, so it was mostly doomed to disappoint.

No track escapes D Tier, which almost hurts my feelings. “(You Caught Me) Smilin’” comes closest, but still not a song I’m going to ever go out of my way to queue up, unless I’m specifically introducing someone to Sly. And as much as I like funk, this sound is just so dated. From the poor production quality to the choice of synth, it sounds like background music for a blaxploitation flick. The sound does not transcend the era, in my opinion.

-S Tier- ***n/a*** -A Tier- Four Women What More Can I Say -B Tier- Lilac Wine That’s All I Ask -C Tier- Either Way I Lose -D Tier- I Love Your Lovin Ways Break Down and Let It All Out Wild Is the Wind Black is the Color of My True Love’s Hair If I Should Lose You -F Tier- Why Keep On Breaking My Heart AVG SCORE: 1.9 / 5 - - - Half good. Half forgettable. “Four Women” is quintessential Nina. Haunting. Powerful. If you listen to nothing else, this track alone makes the album worthwhile. Unfortunately, as the second track, it sets expectations that aren’t met by the remaining songs.

-S Tier- ***n/a*** -A Tier- Mambo Sun Jeepster -B Tier- Bang a Gong (Get It On) -C Tier- Lean Woman Blues Girl The Motivator Rip Off -D Tier- Cosmic Dancer Monolith Planet Queen Life’s a Gas AVG SCORE: 2.09 / 5

-S Tier- Holy Wars…Punishment Due Lucretia Dawn Patrol -A Tier- Hangar 18 Five Magics Poison Was the Cure -B Tier- Tornado of Souls Rust in Peace...Polaris -C Tier- Take No Prisoners -D Tier- ***n/a*** AVG SCORE: 3.89 - - - Mustaine may trend a little more traditional in the world of Metal than I prefer -- and for that reason I think his separation from Metallica was best for everyone -- but this is a solid album top-to-bottom. There is nothing truly skippable on the entire tracklist, and there are plenty of serious bangers.

-S Tier- Dreams Don’t Stop Go Your Own Way The Chain You Make Loving Fun Gold Dust Woman -A Tier- Second Hand News Never Going Back Again I Don’t Want to Know Oh Daddy -B Tier- Songbird AVG SCORE: 4.5/ 5 - - - Bias Alert: I consider Fleetwood Mac perhaps the greatest band of all time through all iterations dating back to Peter Green. This album has everything. Beautiful music. A sordid and compelling series of backstories. And little moments (like Stevie’s barely-audible hum at the very beginning of Dreams) that give me chills. One of the great works of modern musicianship. I adore it. Gold Dust Woman is an underrated gem.

No point in going song-by-song. As much as I appreciate the import of The Yardbirds to Rock history, this album didn’t offer even one track that I’m interested in reliving (ok…maybe “He’s Always There,” but nothing else). A swing and a miss for me.

-S Tier- ***n/a*** -A Tier- Street Life My Lady -B Tier- Carnival of the Night The Hustler Night Faces -C Tier- Rodeo Drive AVG SCORE: 3.2 / 5 - - - Jazz fusion that makes me feel like I’m walking the city streets in the late 70s — which is odd since I was born in the early 80s. The musical equivalent of a Robert Altman film. Impossible not to love.

-S Tier- ***n/a*** -A Tier- ***n/a*** -B Tier- Ivo Pandora -C Tier- Beatrix -D Tier- Lorelei Persephone AVG SCORE: DNF - - - At its best, it’s mood music. At its worst…well, there’s a reason I gave up on the entire album in the middle of track 6. What frustrates me is that I caught hints of greatness, but they were [often quickly] obscured by overproduction or overpowered by abrasive vocals. I know Wheeler has earned a lot of praise for her voice, but from time to time it felt like an homage to Yoko Ono — it totally ruined Persephone for me. This is the first album of the challenge that I “don’t get.”

-S Tier- Gimme All Your Lovin’ Got Me Under Pressure Sharp Dressed Man -A Tier- I Need You Tonight -B Tier- Legs -C Tier- Thug Dirty Dog -D Tier- If I Could Only Flag Her Down Bad Girl -F Tier- TV Dinners AVG SCORE: 2.8 / 5 - - - I love ZZ Top up until right about…1983, and this album. It marked an evolutionary moment for the band. Their music, once bluesy and soulful, started leaning hard toward Pop Rock. And it wasn’t all bad. When you fire up Eliminator, you’re hit with some instant classics. But as the album wears on, you start to notice something: this shit is formulaic and hollow, and it all starts to sound the same. Sadly, I think it was a prophecy for the remaining life of ZZ Top. The band slowly degraded into some generic Rock trio, offering nothing of substance beyond a few cool music videos. Their sound would become over-processed. Their brand would become a caricature. And it all started with this forsaken album.

-S Tier- Smack My Bitch Up Breathe Diesel Power Mindfields Firestarter -A Tier- Funky Shit Narayan -B Tier- Climbatize -C Tier- Serial Thriller Fuel My Fire AVG SCORE: 4 / 5 - - - Another hugely influential album for me. This was the soundtrack of my “Hack the planet” phase in late middle school and early high school. WaReZ, Back Orifice, Sub7, the Rainbow Books, Jolly Roger, my first lineman’s handset…This album brings the memories flooding back. I love it.

-S Tier- ***n/a*** -A Tier- Jenny Was a Friend of Mine -B Tier- Mr. Brightside Somebody Told Me Andy, You’re a Star On Top Midnight Show -C Tier- Smile Like You Mean It All These Things That I’ve Done Change Your Mind Glamorous Indie Rock & Roll -D Tier- Believe Me, Nataliie Everything Will Be Alright AVG SCORE: 2.9 / 5 - - - Bias Disclosure: I’ve never particularly cared for The Killers. Flowers’ voice has always been too emo for my taste, and their insistence on processing his vocals so often with that stupid reverb/echo/whatever just rubs me wrong. I’ve also never understood the love affair with “Mr. Brightside.” All this considered, this isn’t a bad album. There may not be any mind-blowing songs, but there are also aren’t dumpster fires. Just a nice, inoffensive, middle-of-the-road album.

Being such a young genre of music, Hip-Hop tends to be heavily era-dependent. This album arrived during the early years and it sounds like it. The rhyme schemes are simple. The flow is plodding. Nothing about this transcends. I’m a Hip-Hop fan, but this shouldn’t be an entry on this list ahead of: “Paid in Full” by Erik B and Rakim “ATLiens” by OutKast “Mecca and the Soul Brother” by Pete Rock and CL Smooth …and many more.

I’m going to abandon my song-by-song evaluation here because it doesn’t feel appropriate. This album, compact as it is, deserves to be experienced in its totality. Beautiful vocals with catchy folk-rock tunes.

-S Tier- ***n/a*** -A Tier- My Sweet Lord What Is Life Let It Down -B Tier- Behind That Locked Door Run of the Mill I Dig Love -C Tier- I’d Have You Anytime Wah-Wah Isn’t It a Pity If Not For You I Live for You -D Tier- Beware of Darkness Apple Scruffs Ballad of Sir Frankie Crisp -F Tier- Awaiting on You All AVG SCORE: DNF - - - Come on, George. Two fucking hours? Not on your life, Buddy. A few solid songs on this as far as I could tell. I bailed about 2/3rds through it. George was always the Boring Beatle, and this album is appropriately sedate. Still, not a miserable listen. I could easily queue this up on a car ride and let it accompany me for a 2hr trip. I wouldn’t notice it very often, to be fair.

-S Tier- Waitin’ for the Bus Master of Sparks La Grange -A Tier- Jesus Just Left Chicago Beer Drinkers & Hell Raisers Sheik -B Tier- Hot, Blue, and Righteous Precious and Grace Have You Heard -C Tier- Move Me On Down the Line AVG SCORE: 3.8 / 5 - - - Even if “La Grange” never existed, this would still be one of ZZ Top’s greatest works top-to-bottom. Give me this era over the Eliminator era every day.

Not my speed.

-S Tier- Good Times Roll My Best Friend’s Girl Just What I Needed I’m in Touch with Your World Don’t Cha Stop You’re All I’ve Got Tonight Bye Bye Love Moving in Stereo -A Tier- All Mixed Up AVG SCORE: 4.89 / 5.0 - - - Not only is there not a single skippable song on this album, this is one the closest albums to musical perfection as far as I’m concerned. Absolutely transcendent.

-S Tier- Heads Will Roll -A Tier- Soft Shock Dull Life Dragon Queen -B Tier- Shame and Fortune Runaway Hysteric -C Tier- Skeletons -D Tier- Zero Little Shadow AVG SCORE: 3 / 5 - - - “Heads Will Roll” is a transcendent work of art. How many remixes has it inspired? As a single, it earns 5 stars easily. Was also pleasantly surprised by a handful of other songs.

-S Tier- Beautiful People 1996 The Reflecting God -A Tier- Irresponsible Hate Anthem Tourniquet Angel with the Scabbed Wings Kinderfeld Antichrist Superstar Minute of Decay -B Tier- Dried Up, Tied and Dead to the World Little Horn Deformography Wormboy Mister Superstar Man That You Fear -C Tier- Cryptorchid AVG SCORE: 3.7 / 5

-S Tier- You’re My Best Friend Bohemian Rhapsody -A Tier- Death on Two Legs ‘39 Sweet Lady The Prophet’s Song -B Tier- I’m in Love with My Car Love of My Life Good Company -C Tier- Seaside Rendezvous AVG SCORE: 3.7 / 5 - - - Aside from the two classics, this album has a fair share of underrated songs that likely suffered from their proximity to those classics (particularly Bohemian Rhapsody — I mean, how do you compare anything favorably to that).

-S Tier- Do It Again Dirty Work Midnight Cruiser Only a Fool Would Say That Fire in the Hole Turn That Heartbeat Over Again -A Tier- Kings Reelin’ in the Years Brooklyn -B Tier- Change of the Guard AVG SCORE: 4.5 / 5 - - - One of the greatest freshman albums of all time.

-S Tier- Sure Shot Root Down Sabotage Get It Together Ricky’s Theme The Scoop -A Tier- B-boys Makin’ with the Freak Freak The Update Alright Hear This Flute Loop Do It -B Tier- Sabrosa Futterman’s Rule Eugene’s Lament Heart Attack Man Bodhisattva Vow Transitions -C Tier- Shambala AVG SCORE: 3.9 / 5

-S Tier- Birdland -A Tier- Gloria Free Money -B Tier- Kimberly Break It Up Elegie -C Tier- Redondo Beach Land: Horses AVG SCORE: 3.25 / 5 - - - Patti’s voice is just haunting. Birdland brought me to tears.

-S Tier- Roundabout South Side of the Sky Long Distance Runaround -A Tier- *none* -B Tier- The Fish -C Tier- Mood for a Day -D Tier- Heart of the Sunrise America AVG SCORE: 3.14 / 5 (Note: any track under 2min doesn’t get counted) - - - Always a fan of Roundabout and Long Distance Runaround, I got a thrill out of South Side of the Sky and even enjoyed The Fish. The rest of the album was a tad masturbatory for me.

-S Tier- ***n/a*** -A Tier- ***n/a** -B Tier- Only shallow -C Tier- ***n/a*** -D Tier- Loomer Come in Alone Sometimes Soon -F Tier- To Here Knows When When You Sleep I Only Said Blown a Wish What You Want AVG SCORE: 0.7 / 5 - - - Turd.

-S Tier- Rooster Would? -A Tier- Them Bones Down in a Hole Junkhead -B Tier- Rain When I Die Dirt -C Tier- Dam That River Angry Chair -D Tier- Sickman God Smack Hate to Feel AVG SCORE: 2.9

If I liked The Who, I’d probably have liked this. But I don’t, so I didn’t.

A classic.

Putting the “fun” in Funk. Catch me head-bobbing to “Ski Club.”

I just can’t handle Patton’s shrill vocals. It’s like a shit Axl Rose impression.

Someone else said it best: this is quintessential background music. Truly solid as a rock. Not a bad song on it. Nothing to skip. But, outside of maybe "Susan's House," these aren't tracks that are going to make me stop and listen intently.

-S Tier- Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough Rock with You -A Tier- Get on the Floor I Can’t Help It -B Tier- Off the Wall -C Tier- Workin’ Day and Night It’s the Falling in Love -D Tier- Girlfriend Burn This Disco Out -F Tier- Out of My Life AVG SCORE: 2.7 / 5 Heavy funk and disco vibes on this one. Could have been a killer but for a few strange missteps (wtf was “Out of My Life” doing on this?).

Got a few early 90s classics on here, but it just doesn’t do a lot for me. Feels like a coked-up John Mellencamp album. I don’t care for John Mellencamp.