9 keepers out of 13 (69%)
1 banger [A Day in the Life] (8%)
4 stars
77
The only keeper is Hallelujah which can't hold a candle to the original.
1 keeper out of 11 (9%)
0 bangers (0%)
1 star
9
Keepers: Willie the Pimp, Son of Mr. Green Genes
The Gumbo Variations would be but is too long.
2.5 keepers out of 6 (42%)
0 bangers (0%)
3 stars
42
All songs keepers. Why shouldn't it be a 5 star?
11 keepers out of 11 (100%)
3 bangers [Intervention, No Cars Go, My Body is a Cage] (27%)
5 stars
127
4 keepers (Hotel California, Life in the Fast Lane, Victim of Love, The Last Resort) out of 9 (44%)
0 bangers (0%)
3 stars.
44
6 keepers out of 11 (54%)
0 bangers (0%)
3 stars
54
First time listening. Not sure why the songs are compelling but they are.
7 keepers out of 12 (58%)
0 bangers (0%)
3 stars
58
6 keepers out of 9 (66%)
3 bangers [Billie Jean, Beat It, PYT] out of 9 (33%)
Math says 4 stars. Heart says 4 stars.
4 stars.
99
3 keepers out of 11 (33%)
2 bangers out of 11 (22%) [Perfect Day, Walk on the Wild Side]
Math says 2 stars. Heart cannot argue.
55
First time listen—highly probable the novelty of the material is affecting keeper population.
3 keepers out of 12 (25%).
1 klunker [Scope J.] (8%).
Math says 2 stars. Heart says 1.
17
Started off poorly, never got better. “Perfect Way” is the best on offer? Hard pass. Truly the beigest of beige albums. Can’t give zero stars, unfortunately.
0 keepers in 9 (0%)
1 klunker (11%)
-11
6 keepers, 33%
2 bangers, 11%
3 stars
44
First time listen. The Dream of the 2000s is alive in Mylo. Solid 4.
9 keepers in 14 (64%).
64
Happiness Stan is too long but now we can get into an argument about how long is too long in the context of an entire album. What does it matter if an entire vinyl side is presented in one full go? Messes my track-based math up pretty good but that’s my problem, not yours.
Math says 1. Experience says 2.
1 keeper in 7 (14%).
14
A shame the title track isn't "Dial a Cliche" because, man, that would be spot on for this carousel of whiny Morrissey. My feelings on this album can be summed up by quoting "I Don't Mind if You Forget Me":
"I don't mind if you forget me
Having learned my lesson
I never left an impression on anyone".
Bland, bland bland. I'm glad it ended with a guillotine dropping letting me know my completely forgettable experience was over.
Math prevents me from giving it 1 star. Heart prevents giving it 1 star because it's not in the same league as Cupid & Psyche 85. I don't know. A normal distribution implies 73 of these should be 1 star. Leroy Jenkins. 1 star.
3 keepers in 12 (25%).
1 klunker (8%).
17
Incredibly cohesive. No idea how to numerically quantify that. Certainly enough to bump to 4 stars.
7 keepers in 12 (58%).
58
Starts strong, kind of ends on a whimper. Certainly not just a collection of songs.
4 stars.
8 keepers of 11 (73%).
2 bangers (18%).
91
Just a lovely album. Hit play and let it run anytime.
4 stars.
9 keepers in 12 (75%).
75
Just let it rip. The misses aren't really misses, everything goes together nicely. Will need to circle back after we're nearing the end of the exercise--this is probably in the rarified air of The Top 73.
4 stars for now.
10 keepers in 12 (83%)
1 banger in 12 (8%)
91
The whole thing felt like a low budget glam record, which is not nothing. I'd just rather spend my time with more something.
1 star.
1 keeper in 7 (14%).
14
A lot of drudgery. A couple of catchy songs near the end followed by two drones is a flex. They can’t all be winners but why this is included is a head scratcher.
2 stars by math and heart.
3 keepers in 14 (21%).
1 klunker (7%).
14
Not a lot to add. It’s good. No real skips. Math says 3 stars, heart says 3 stars. 3 stars.
8 keepers in 14 (57%).
57
Arguably my favorite album of all time. This exercise will prove if that is true.
Unquestionably 5 stars.
15 keepers in 16 (94%).
7 bangers (44%).
138
I have had complex feelings about Rush for a metric forever. Side A of 2112 made me re-evaluate them the first time I listened. This time through is no different. “Something for Nothing” slaps. Incontrovertible.
Simple math says 3 stars. Advanced math suggests 4. It is still early days in this journey; perhaps advanced math will win the day but for now, 3 stars.
3 keepers in 6 (50%).
1 banger (17%).
67
I’m not getting into the whole “all AC/DC songs sound the same” but I’m not denying it.
Math says 3 or 4 stars, heart says 3 stars.
6 keepers in 10 (60%)
1 banger (10%)
70
“Express Yourself” really stands out for me and I secretly wish all of the other tracks followed its template because I’m a sucker for mashups (which this predated by 20ish years). 4 stars.
9 keepers in 13 (69%).
1 banger (8%).
77
We get back into the whole one side = one track thing which is killing my math. Giving Side A a half keeper bumps this up to 1.5 in 7 (21%) which feels like cheating but this album, while certainly not for everybody, is not a 1 star.
2 stars by hook or by crook.
1 keeper in 7 (14%).
14
The album is consistent as hell but Justice 1000% falls into the camp of "All X songs sound the same" with AC/DC.
Math says 3 stars, heart says 3 stars.
7 keepers in 12 (58%).
58
First time listen; entirely pleasant. I could see putting this on and doing weekend chores. A few things grab at your attention but otherwise this sits pleasantly in the background.
3 stars.
5 keepers in 12 (42%).
42
That version of Maggot Brain slaps. Promentalshitbackwashpsychosis Enema Squad gets better at the end but is just a lot.
4 stars.
6 keepers in 9 (67%).
0.5 klunkers (6%).
67 or 61
7 keepers in 15 (47%).
There's a lot of forgettable stuff on here but the recurring triphop tropes were welcome surprises. Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow but I'm not sure everybody needs this album.
3 stars.
5 keepers in 13 (38%).
The California Uber Alles cover/mashup is pretty sweet.
2 stars.
13 keepers in 14 (93%).
1 banger (7%).
This album is good top to bottom (high to low end?). The only miss isn't really a miss. I want to listen to it again right now.
5 stars.
4 keepers in 11 (36%).
1 klunker (9%).
This album smells like Otto's jacket.
2 stars.
It's fine. I expected more. Not much else to add.
3 keepers in 11 (27%).
2 stars.
They say suicide is painless but it sounds like John Darnielle trying to make a Kraftwerk record with Bruce Springsteen lyrics.
1 keeper in 7 (14%).
1 klunker (14%).
1 star.
Middle third isn't my favorite but "Superstition" does a lot of heavy lifting to make you forget about the slow bits. On that--I'm listening to this because of specific songs, not for the whole album experience.
6 keepers in 10 (60%).
2 bangers (20%).
1 klunker (10%).
3 stars.
First time listen. Sounds like the ‘80s. It’s fine.
2 keepers in 7 (29%).
2 stars.
"There She Goes" really feels like an outlier in this otherwise drab collection of Jangle Pop that feels stuck in its own Doledrums.
3 keepers in 12 (25%).
2 stars.
Cherubs sucking down 40 darts a day--what a time to be alive. I forgot how good "I'll Wait" is.
5 keepers in 9 (56%).
3 stars.
Cleveland is a weird place, man. It isn't for everyone, just like this album--but if you get it, you get it.
2 kepeers in 10 (20%).
2 klunkers (20%).
Math says 1 star. Heart says 3. Split the difference, call it 2.
If I ever own a coffee shop, this record will just be on repeat--forever.
9 keepers in 10 (90%).
3 bangers (30%).
5 stars.
Is Meg White a good drummer? I don't know. Does this album slap? Hell yes. What would it sound like with Buddy Rich back there? God only knows.
12 keepers in 16 (75%).
1 banger (6%).
4 stars.
I expected more bangers. I'm disappointed that it's midder than I remember.
7 keepers in 11 (64%).
4 stars.
I was not unhappy listening to this in the car today but none of these is pulling me back in for more.
8 keepers in 12 (67%).
1 klunker (8%).
4 stars, I guess.
That version of Louie Louie is pretty tight. Some of these tracks are not my favorite but most do the trick.
10 keepers in 16 (63%).
4 stars.
Hold me closer, Tony Danza. Aside from stumbling across the finish line, this thing is solid front to back.
7 keepers in 9 (78%).
2 bangers (22%).
Strict math says 4 stars. Will revisit with more distribution data points.
I remember being really into “Peaches” when Sexy Beast came out in 2000 and being very meh on the rest of the album. Listening today was basically that all over again.
4 keepers in 12 (33%).
2 stars.
This is good but London Calling is better.
8 keepers in 14 (57%).
3 stars.
I see why this is included. If I found this in 1993 it probably would have blown my mind. But it's 2026 and, y'know, it's fine.
6 keepers in 14 (43%).
3 stars.
Live albums, by default, are more cohesive than studio. The inclusion of intro tracks mess with my numbers but that's my problem, not Mr. Cooke's.
9 keepers in 10 (90%).
5 stars.
I'm feeling this. I see where this is going, but it's a lot. The first half is stronger than the second. I'm glad I now know this record exists.
2 keepers in 4 (50%).
3 stars.
They're all the same but all different, somehow.
9 keepers in 10 (90%)
5 stars.
Beck doing Beck things. Is the next track going to be a perennial favorite or just a noise track? Can’t know until you try!
8 keepers in 14 (57%).
2 bangers (14%).
1 klunker (7%).
First time listening to the whole album. It was better than anticipated. The not-ironic things in “Ironic” failed to become ironic over the ensuing 30 years. Lesson learned from today: Alanis is not interested in being your mother or propping up your inner fragile scared little boy.
4 keepers in 12 (33%).
2 stars.
Life is like a Kinks album--you never know what you're going to get.
8 keepers in 15 (53%).
3 stars.
Did the boys dress up to record this in the studio? There’s a lot to be said about KISS but 99% of the allure is the pageantry and groupthink—the music always took a backseat unless we’re talking about “Deuce” but that’s not on this album.
3 keepers in 10 (30%).
1 klunker (10%).
2 stars.
That is a tight 27 minutes. Lovely.
8 keepers in 10 (80%).
4 stars.
A good time was had by all.
9 keepers in 11 (81%).
Math says 5 stars. Liminal, to be sure. Will review upon higher n.
If every Biblical parable was presented in a form similar to Gouge Away, I would be tempted to reconsider the whole Christianity thing.
15 keepers in 15 (100%).
9 bangers (60%).
The performance of Kids at Zonker Harris Day 2003 is one of the greatest Internet videos. Is it because Kids is fundamentally good? Yes. Is it because everything about that video screams 2003? Yes. Is it because it feels like my 2003? Oh, Sweet Baby Jesus yes. I'm going to go play Kids again.
7 keepers in 10 (70%).
1 banger (10%).
The whole album is kind of like "Born Under Punches"--keeps you off balance and confused while it's on but then it just kind of sticks around in your head all day and you realize it's fundamentally good.
6 keepers in 8 (75%).
2 bangers (25%).
Starts strong. Drags a little in the middle. Finishes on a high note.
6 keepers in 12 (50%).
There are spots in this album where it feels like it's in slow motion--like a 45 played at 33 1/3 (try that the next time you listen to Dolly Parton's "Jolene"). There are some good songs, some forgettable songs, but overall--it's fine.
6 keepers in 12 (50%).
We all grow and change over time. Some things (like double bass pedals) remain the same. Would 1986 Metallica recognize 1996 Metallica? 2006 Metallica? No one knows.
7 keepers in 8 (88%).
1 banger (13%).
I am of an age where The Grey Album has a bigger cultural footprint than the White Album. I was honestly disappointed when Jay-Z didn't come in on some of these songs.
22 keepers in 30 (73%).
3 bangers (10%).
I didn't understand Croker Courtbullion until minute 5. Then it clicked. That's like the rest of this album--you don't get it until you get it.
4 keepers in 7 (57%).
57
This album really asks the question "are these songs good or just familiar?". I think the answer is yes. Can't get enough of the album art.
4 keepers in 9 (44%).
44
In the words of Steven Van Zandt: "You're not gonna believe this, but Rod Stewart is white!"
7 keepers in 8 (88%).
1 banger (13%).
101
We all grow and change over time but these songs capture a specific moment that is immutable.
5 keepers in 10 (50%).
50
All of the best stuff in "Stairway to Heaven" happens in the final 75 seconds. The previous six minutes and change is just prelude to the payoff. Would we have the joke at the beginning of Wayne's World if the radio edit of this song was under 2 minutes?
6 keepers in 8 (75%).
4 bangers (50%).
125
I didn't realize the UK and US versions had that many different tracks. The UK version not including "Paint it Black" seems criminal but I'm sure there are reasons. I think it's wild that any band would start a tour in Lynn, MA
US:
8 keepers in 11 (73%)
1 banger (9%)
UK:
9 keepers in 14 (64%)
82?
64?
First time listen. Weird jangle 80s pop meets Country / Western? Unexpected but not necessarily bad. Not sure what else I have to say on the matter.
3 keepers in 10 (30%).
30
Shane MacGowan attempting to sing high notes is always an adventure. This album still slaps.
11 keepers in 13 (85%).
85
This holds up. No notes.
8 keepers in 12 (75%).
4 bangers (33%).
108
Tom Morello is very good at guitar. Zack de la Rocha is very good at angry.
3 keepers in 10 (30%).
30
Maybe I'm Amazed That (this album) Would Be Something (but it's kinda) Singalong Junk.
3 keepers in 13 (23%).
23
If the Fascists wrote that groove, there's not much wrong with it. The two dudes with ponytails crushing the Henderson deal on the album cover is a nice touch. I would definitely listen to a collaborative re-recording of this by the JPop Penthouse and Pavement.
7 keepers in 19 (37%).
37
Sounds like a Paul Simon record.
5 keepers in 11 (45%).
45
I am not this album's target audience. I'm not sure who is but it sounds like something I imagine rich people listened to on their fancy new CD players in 1986.
1 keeper in 7 (14)%.
There isn't anything wrong with this album, it's just not for me. This might be King of the 1 Stars.
14
I've never been a huge Who fan but I can't argue that this album isn't really good. Also, on the scale from cool to dweeb in this photo, it clearly goes Townsend, Entwistle, Daltrey, a country mile, then Moon.
[Using the original tracklist] 8 keepers in 9 (89%).
1 banger (11%).
100
It finally happened--I don't absolutely hate "River" anymore. If I listen to this record 1000 more times, maybe the rest will click as well.
2 keepers in 10 (20%).
20
I do not have a Constant Craving for this album.
0 keepers in 10 (0%).
2 klunkers (20%).
-20
Oh, the Early Aughts. What a time to be alive.
9 keepers in 11 (82%).
1 banger (9%).
91
I didn't connect with most of Side A, much more so with Side B. Also, I'm still a sucker for a good horn section.
[Based on original 12 tracks] 5 keepers in 12 (42%).
42
It says Elvis on the cover but it took a village of background musicians to make this sound this good.
13 keepers in 16 (81%).
1 banger (6%).
87
This is a foundational album in my library, so maybe I'm biased. Tina Weymouth is a national treasure.
11 keepers in 11 (100%).
4 bangers (36%).
136
Lightning Bolt walked so Angine de Poitrine could run. "On Fire" gets closest to their magnum opus "13 Monsters" but I'm happy they're here nonetheless.
5 keepers in 10 (50%).
50
I wonder how many cigarettes David Bowie smoked, total--500,000?
4 keepers in 8 (50%).
50
I want to believe that Dylan's cover of "The Boxer" is his retaliation for "A Simple Desultory Philippic".
9 keepers in 12 (75%).
75
Did “Money, Money, Money” steal that hook from the Oompas-Loompa?
6 keepers in 12 for modern tracklisting (50%).
5 keepers in 10 for original (50%).
50
This feels very similar to “From Elvis in Memphis” in that Justin’s name is on the front but the artistry of others makes the standout tracks shine. I wanted to attribute all of the joy here to Timbaland but it turns out it was evenly split between him and The Neptunes.
5 keepers in 13 (38%)
1 banger (8%)
46
I remember Adam Taylor picked me up in his VW Jetta one sunny spring afternoon in 1995 just so he could drive unreasonably fast through the campus of Wellesley College with the windows down and "Bitches Ain't Shit" playing at maximum volume. Kids are assholes.
7 keepers in 16 (44%)
2 klunkers (13%)
31
An album written for the 80's including a track called "No Self Control" is pretty fitting.
5 keepers in 10 (50%)
50
Jack White - Meg + extraneous ornamentation != grand success. It's fine.
4 keepers in 13 (31%)
1 banger (8%)
39
I feel like I could listen to "Cry Baby" on repeat forever. I wonder how long I would actually put up with that.
8 keepers in 10 (80%)
2 bangers (20%)
100
I had a lot of philosophical thoughts about my methodology here while I had almost no emotional interaction with this album. I think I talked myself out of rescaling everything to account for hypothetical albums where I hate every track but maybe I didn't.
1 keeper in 12 (8%).
8
Pretty good, not bad, I can't complain.
10 keepers in 13 (77%)
1 banger (8%)
85
Given the lack of hands striking each other during the song, I guess it's about The Other Clap.
2 keepers in 6 (33%)
33
I was not looking forward to this. I was mistaken--British Elvis can write a song.
4 keepers in 14 (29%)
1 banger (7%)
36
That cover of "Fever" is worth the price of admission.
5 keepers in 12 (42%)
1 banger (8%)
50
Is it music? I don’t know. Is it important? I don’t know. Is it somehow compelling and attention grabbing by not actually being there in the first place? Yes…?
1 keeper in 4 (25%)
25
I had money on the acid trip shattering Tommy's world but I guess the literal broken glass has some poetry to it as well. Also surprised that "1921" did not have a blanket resurgence after Christmas 2020. Maybe we, as a whole, were distracted.
6 keepers in 24 (25%)
1 klunker (4%)
21
Well--I'm glad that's over.
0 keepers in 12 (0%).
4 klunkers (33%).
-33
I continue to be a sucker for a good horn section. I am also envious of this beard.
6 keepers in 12 (50%).
50
I respectfully decline this invitation to continue chooglin'.
2 keepers in 7 (29%).
29
How did a pack of Irish men survive the harsh California desert sun long enough to take this photo? No one knows.
9 keepers in 11 (82%)
2 bangers (18%)
100
Pulling out the harpsichord--genius.
7 keepers in 10 (70%).
1 banger (10%).
80
Perfectly pleasant background music for a U8 baseball game in November. The drummer really is quite something.
8 keepers in 15 (53%).
53
Been listening to this record for a long time--still don't know the other guys' names and never remember them five seconds after I Google it. I hereby name Left Guy Ex and Right Guy Perience. Names are pretty irrelevant here--this whole thing slaps.
14 keepers in 17 (82%)
4 bangers (24%)
106
