Slippery When Wet

One of my absolute favourite things in the world is how much hipsters loathe 80s Bon Jovi. Here's an analysis: Musically, this album is basically just hair metal/arena rock. Big ole guitars and drums, riffs and hooks, gang vocals in choruses, crisp production, etc. REVERB. Songs mostly follow convention, chord progressions are nice and predictable, even the track list does that thing where every few songs there's something that passes for a ballad. Image-wise, it looks like hair metal again, or maybe a bit like new wave/80s pop a la Duran Duran. Lots of shoulder pads, hairspray and FLAIR. There's a solid chance that they had style consultants PAID BY THE BIG BUSINESS RECORD LABEL!!!11! Lyrically it occupies the same kinda space as stuff like Bruce Springsteen: sentimental numbers about idyllic Middle America, songs about brotherhood and sticking up for your mates, then love songs about rooting chicks in the back of cars and having no money but that's ok because WE'RE GONNA LIVE ON LOVE ALONE BABY, etc etc. Cheeeeeeeese. So the hair metal sound, the "corporate 80s rock" outfits and the Americana themes just all add up to something that becomes hipster kryptonite. I guess they hate the perceived inauthenticity of it all? Maybe they hate that it's a good bit of fun? Or maybe simply because it's such a "white dude thing" and that's an easy target for hipsters. Either way, fucking lol. As for my thoughts: I was only 2 when this album came out, but I had a phase in the early 00s where I was totally into Bon Jovi and a bunch of other 80s hair metal bands. It really is a lot of fun. It's great for driving up the highway to, slammin' beers in the sun to, butchering at karaoke night... it's just genuinely fucking cool. And hat off to Richie Sambora, he's the real star of the show here. Desmond Child as well I guess lol. If I was rating this in comparison to the BJ catalogue (or even hair metal in general) I'd probably only give it a 3 or 4, but as an entry in this book and having just read what I KNEW would be the usual oblivious moaning about how fake and cliche it is in other reviews, I'm giving it full marks. 5/5.

Can't really take this seriously. This era of pop/hair "metal" is one of my least favorite subgenres and one which I don't really understand. Maybe I just need to loosen up? I don't know. I mean the choruses are catchy for sure. But to me it sounds so superficial, and maybe that's intentional? I understand how this could make sense to kids and teens in a certain context but I feel like it doesn't age well outside of that context. It's like kids dressing up and playing rock star and I guess there's a certain amount of sincerity/directness and simplicity to that. I mean I grew up when this was wildly popular and I was never attracted to it then nor do I have any nostalgia for it.

Hair metal was a mistake

What would the world of Karaoke be without Bon Jovi..........? Better. It would be infinitely better. This album is washed out, dated, and embarrassing. I try to imagine the people who still listen to this recreationally and am instantly awash in a sea of peroxide, silicone, and yager. Gross.

In retrospect, writing a glowing 5 star review of Springsteen’s “Darkness at the Edge of Town” that doubled as a homage to New Jersey, my home state, was…a mistake. There’s no doubt that the generator saw that review and is now challenging me. “Oh, you love New Jersey, huh??? New Jersey’s the best place in the country, is it? Well, let’s see you defend this New Jersey-shaped turd.” I can’t and won’t. Bon Jovi is a blight upon the Garden State. You can make that my epitaph. This album cover is literally a photo of a trash bag. If that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about Slippery When Wet, then nothing I say will change your mind.

These songs are so stupid and I hate his voice. This is the pinnacle of annoying 80's rock. The only thing saving this from 1 star is that some of these songs might be tolerable with a different singer.

I think my brain was broken by Def Leppard, and now I like hair metal. Something must be seriously wrong with me because I listen to this and go, yeah this is sick. Which is a MAJOR change. High school me would barely recognize me now. I can feel the disdain that scarved, suitcoat-wearing 17-year-old hipster Jacob is giving current-day Jacob right now. Pick any year in the last 20 years, and Bon Jovi is the least cool band in any one of those years. But... okay but but but it's kind of sick though right??? Maybe I'm just turning into a smooth-brained old man. Maybe I just like guitars and hair and sweaty rooms and three chords. I don't know what's happening but something happens when I listen to Bon Jovi to the back of my brain, like a cat being pet on just the right spot of their ears, and I go... "this is good." I just watch a video on tonic immobilization of sharks, where if you pet them on the front of their mouth, just above their sharp teeth, they just go into this docile state and you can turn them upside down and they're super fine about it. That's me with... Bon Jovi?? Seriously? I can't believe it. I just LIKE IT! I DO! Good album? I mean there was only one song I didn't like, and it was the last track, Wild In The Streets. Every other one was just... tonic immobilization. 4/5. Can't stomach a 5, because it's genuinely such trashy music but it's MY TRASHY MUSIC DAMMIT.

I thought I’d enjoy this, as I’m quite partial to a 80s cheesy number. But ultimately it’s just not very good, the rest of album didn’t have many hooks which stood out after the 3 big singles. Tempted to give a 1, but the biggies make that unfair so gets a 2. Bon Jovi, you give 80s cheesy rock a bad name bruv.

If any album had an expiration date it was this one

Don't like this bubblegum metal.

nah i'm good

Awesome - a stone cold singalong classic

Look, Bon Jovi sucks, 80s hair metal sucks, synthersised stadium rock n roll sucks. But everyone has had that moment when they're at 1st year university and the cool older kids all know the words to Livin on a Dream and for a weird 18 months you get tricked into thinking that it's ironically cool in a daggy retro way. If you have taste you realise bon Jovi is shit around prac year, but it's a wild ride while it lasts. 3/5 based on that alone.

Confirmed my dislike of Bon Jovi. Just cheesy cringeworthy pop metal. Can't really stand it

This is the first CD I ever owned by my first "favorite band." Dad got it for me as part of his 'welcome" to Columbia House membership after he bought his first CD player. That was a big deal in our house because it sort of reinvigorated my dad's music consumption at an age that I was impressionable and interested in music for the first time. When I was 5-6 years old, I LOVED hearing "You Give Love a Bad Name" on the radio. My favorite pizza place at the time had a juke box with "Wanted Dead or Alive" B/W "Livin' on a Prayer." Man. Those were the days. $0.25 for those two songs to go with my 7-Up and pizza. So, obviously there is a lot of nostalgia here. But objectively, I think "Slippery When Wet" is one of the pinnacle moments of the 80s glam/hair rock. It's a well-constructed record, I like the pacing, and there are some big hits here. As far as I know, the members of the band haven't been taken down in any "me too" accusations, which is remarkable given the excesses of the time when they were touring. And, John Bon Jovi has turned out to be a real stand-up dude.

“Slippery When Wet” by Bon Jovi (1986) First a word about that album cover. American listeners got a toned down version. But the original cover (which I’ve included here) is better suited to the artistic thrust of the music. Prudish marketing decision again gets in the way of the art. The opening track sets the stage for highly competent stadium rock. References to Bach (“Toccata and Fugue in D Minor”) and The Doors (“Break on Through”) provide evidence of thoughtful glam rock (if that’s not a contradiction in terms). The album satisfies. High quality performances by vocalists, keyboards, and guitar. Rhythm section is solid, if not particularly creative or adroit. Lyrics are actually very good. A good rock album. 3/5

Only Sambora's guitar playing saves this from being 1 star. Pretty terrible.

Listening to this album again immediately transported me back to my high school days driving around in my clunky standard transmission Volvo station wagon. I loved this album, knew - and still know - every word by heart. The nostalgia, the guitar riffs, the talkbox, the heart and soul, the crush I had on Richie Sambora... it's all still there.

New Jersey

People who don't like this album are the people who think rollercoasters are only for kids. They're just snobby and sticks in the mud. It's not a perfect album, but it's fun, and when you're from New Jersey, it's practically illegal to dislike Bon Jovi. That might make me a bit biased, but this album is full of stadium anthems and is the definition of a good time. Livin' On A Prayer and You Give Love A Bad Name are absolute classics, and the non-singles are great.

A little surprised a panel of music critics put this one in. For me, a couple of novelty megahits drag this album into the 1001 list. There's a lot of filler, so I'm scoring this largely on the popularity of two or three songs above anything else. I quite like those songs but they mostly remind me of cheesy nightclubs. 5/10

Can people appreciate the hackneyed music and stupid lyrics of this band *unironically*? Can they? Really??? A 3.28 global grade suggests a lot of them can. Unless it's a joke that went on for too long. The "contributor" to this app, who tried to mock "hipsters" through their review of this album, seems to be in on that joke, for instance. Maybe you've seen that review towards the top of this section? What's your take on it? Are you so easily categorized as that reviewer thinks all of us are? For one, I don't think I am. The thing is, you don't need to be a hipster to dislike the lame so-called "rock music" that big labels tried to shove down everyone's throat during the eighties, thanks to MTV and heavy radio rotations. At the exact same time, you had truly *great* bands in the underground trying to survive, goddamnit. Calling fans of those underground acts mere "hipsters", especially when it comes to that dreadful decade, is missing the point about who had the real economic power in the music industry at the time. And to put it bluntly, it was not the good guys who had such power--granted that you can find "good guys" in the music industry anyhow, of course. :D The tables have since been turned, starting from the nineties: the underground acts became prophetic and commercially viable, and hairmetal died a quick painless death, quite fortunately. Once again, one didn't need to be a "hipster" to draw a heavy sigh of relief back then. That's where--all "subjective" feelings about Bon Jovi aside--this reviewer I've mentioned earlier got it wrong: being unable to appreciate hairmetal unironically has nothing to do with being an elitist (otherwise I wouldn't have appreciated the "alternative" nineties as much as I did--after all, most of those indie bands exploding at the time sold a lot of units, didn't they?). No, all empty binary posturing aside, it's only that Bon Jovi's music had a very clear peremption date, as that *other* reviewer aptly puts it elsewhere. Many acts with clichéd reflexes such as this one--hailing from *any* decade--usually don't make it to such a list. And it's because they also had those peremption dates written on their foreheads. And this in capital letters. I can't see why Bon Jovi shouldn't be considered as one of them, their one-time commercial success be damned! I've given *Slippery When Wet* a fair try, just as I do for every album in here. I have to say, "Livin' On A Prayer" is probably not the most popular song by Bon Jovi *for nothing*: it's got an infectious chorus, propelling guitar parts and arrangements in the verses, and an overall energy that is contagious and fun. I readily admit that this single is good, and that Bon Jovi had a great calling card in their hands with this one. Yet *one* effective single doesn't necessarily mean the album it's from is good or even listenable. About the other few "highlights" from this LP: even if Sergio Leone, John Ford, John Wayne and Clint Eastwood had been locked in a room for hours, chances are that they wouldn't have been able to create a song with more laugh-out-loud clichés about the wild west than the ones found in "Wanted Dead Or Alive". Speaking of the strange "highlights" in this LP, "I'd Die For You" is also an interesting cut. It's got a nice intro section, as some other tracks have in the album (see the Bach-inspired organ at the start of the album"s opener). Yet in spite of the Bruce Springsteen influence, the main melody of "I'd Die For You" is a little flat. It seems that, contrary to "Livin' On A Prayer", the composition suffers from a lack of contrast between the verses and the choruses. Too bad, I almost thought I could file that tune under the "quite good" tag. Those two songs are somewhat bearable, at least. Especially compared to the other downright *horrible* tracks plaguing this record from start to finish. By the way, it's quite a feat that those horrible tracks are both famous singles ("You Give Love A Bad Name") and deep, deep cuts that should have stayed buried deep if I had had my say about it (that terrible, terrible "Social Disease", for example--I wish I could erase all memories I have about that dreadful thing RIGHT NOW!). To put it in a nutshell, it's all very dumb. Dumb hairmetal guitar riffing, dumb hairmetal guitar solos, dumb synths, dumb vocals... Dumb, dumb, dumb. And don't get me started on the lyrics. The meter of those lines is often awful, but it's not even the worst: to wax poetical about such things in the most appropriate fashion, the contents of those lyrics... suck balls. Pardon my French, here. You can't change a leopard's spots, I guess. ;) I needed just one example of those terrible, terrible lyrics for this review--which I'm writing as I'm listening to the album again. And it seems that closer "Wild In the Streets" has just provided that perfect example for me. Funny how you don't need to look for long to find bad lyrics in this LP, since they are everywhere: "Joey comes from a sacred part of town / Where sometimes you talk so tough that your feet don't touch the ground". What the HECK is that even supposed to mean??? And it's not even the worst example of how bad most of those lyrics are, I can guarantee that. I've spent two hours of my life listening to this album and writing a review about it. That's two hours from my life that are never gonna come back. Maybe that's the true meaning of the "Slippery When Wet" title. Once you've tread on such mediocre grounds, you're bound to slip on them as you desperately try to find redeeming features that could save the album, to no avail. Sooner or later, you end up falling, and find out that it was all a waste of time. Hope I didn't waste yours with this lengthy review. Thank you for your attention, and have a good day. Number of albums left to review: 396 Number of albums from the list I find relevant enough to be mandatory listens: 271 Albums from the list might* include in mine later on: 144 Albums from the list I won't include in mine (many others are more essential to me): 191 (including this one)

Ive listened to this album at least a dozen times, and is definitely one of the best rock albums written. So many classic tracks, and even the ones that aren't are great. The only issue with the album I have is it's direction. You get some rock songs like "raise your hand" and "dead or alive" but others are pop rock. Still, no musical issues with this album whatsoever.

Although I really enjoyed the two hit songs on the album, the lyrics are really cheesy to the point where they became comical. It's like the album equivalent of going to the Olive Garden and never telling the waiter to stop while they're grating cheese on your pasta. Some may like this amount of cheese but I can only handle so much of it! Also, SQUIDWARD ON A CHAIR!!

Bon Jovi, eh? It’s a struggle sometimes to review albums that sold a bazillion copies but are desperately uncool. And that’s the space where Slippery When Wet lives. I was 16 years old when Slippery When Wet was released, and I had already shifted my allegiances to the alternative scene, back when ‘alternative’ really was a whole different industry to mainstream, with completely different bands and venues and radio and record stores. That difference collapsed post-Nirvana, when ‘alternative’ become a generic marketing term used by the major industry to try to sell a polished-up version of the music we’d been listening to for a decade (until they squeezed all the life out of ‘alternative’ and moved on to the next thing). But that’s a story for another day. But you couldn’t avoid Slippery When Wet (or the singles at the very least). I still watched music video shows, and the videos for You Give Love Bad Name, Livin’ on a Prayer and Wanted Dead or Alive were ubiquitous for most of 1986 and 1987. My skater mate, Tim, used to refer to the talk-box guitar intro to Livin’ on a Prayer as “the wanker song”, because that’s what it sounded like to him; “wanker, wanker, wa- wa- wanker”. We used to refer to Bon Jovi as ‘heavy plastic’, and the members of the band as ‘poodles’ based on their haircuts. Oh how we laughed! But as time goes by, I am becoming less sniffy about mainstream music. I have to acknowledge the influence of Carl Wilson’s amazing book Let’s Talk About Love: What Other People Have Such Bad Taste. While he is largely examining his own prejudices about Celine Dion, the arguments certainly apply to Bon Jovi as well. Getting snobby about ‘mainstream’ and ‘uncool’ records is really a way for pretentious middle-class males (nearly always males) to maintain cultural capital by denigrating (very) popular culture. I highly recommend chapter 8 ‘Let’s Talk About Who Has Bad Taste’ for the argument in full. And Bon Jovi is definitely uncool. I note that, even with their current poptimist philosophy, Pitchfork have never reviewed a Bon Jovi record or included a track on any ‘best of’ list (exception; best karaoke songs). But it is pretty clear that Jon Bon Jovi and his merry band of poodles were not concerned about cool or cultural capital; they were reaching for the brass ring. Their previous albums were moderately successful but unexceptional, and they had the ambition to conquer the world and were willing to do whatever it took to achieve that. They teamed up with Desmond Child with the express intention of writing hits, then employed Bruce Fairburn (ably assisted by Bob Rock, on the verge of becoming the go-to guy for hard rock bands seeking world domination) to produce them with a slick sheen. They got themselves some fancy clothes and big hair, a state of the art lighting rig, and choreographed a compelling live performance set with wire-work, pyro, and well-honed rock star moves. It was a smart move to have all the videos show off their live performance chops; they were a slick and charismatic band who had clearly spent time studying Freddie Mercury’s performance at Live Aid and rehearsing a lot. They could work the crowds and the cameras, and it looked like the best show you’ve ever seen. The videos are still compelling (especially the bit in Livin’ on a Prayer where they switch from black and white rehearsal footage to full colour audience footage. That move was cribbed in the 1995 Isaac Mizrahi documentary Unzipped to great effect). The album is slick and sleek, with all the songs sounding great; full of sing-along melodies and the hookiest of hooks. The lyrics are often cliched – at best they read like pale copies of Bruce Springsteen – but cliches are always relatable, and they were aiming for widespread appeal here. Props especially to Richie Sambora for playing compelling lead guitar that is far more melodic and musically compelling than was the fashion in hard rock at the time. He plays with panache but keeps the pyrotechnics under control (although maybe leans a little hard on the pinch harmonics sometimes). Again, I suspect Queen was an influence. Livin’ on a Prayer is still, to my mind, one of the best constructed pop songs of the 1980s; great tune, a chorus for the ages, hooks aplenty, memorable arrangement and guitar work, and the greatest trucker’s change modulation in pop history (made all the more perfect by dropping a beat from the previous bar, which propels the song into the key change like a slingshot. Clever). The only quibble I have is with the way the guitar solo was recorded. It’s exquisitely constructed and played but seems to be oddly mic’ed to me – unlike the rest of the album, there seems to be a lot of room ambience, which is strange. The most interesting song to my mind is Wanted Dead or Alive, a paean to the travails of being the biggest, hardest working band in the world. It’s a humble brag really, because life is sooooo hard being this successful (but secretly, it’s actually really cool, like being a cowboy). Except that they wrote the song BEFORE they were the biggest band in the world; it’s a statement of their ambitions. When Jon Bon Jovi sings “I’ve seen a million faces and I’ve rocked them all”, he is willing his dream into existence. And, to his credit, he did it. They knew what they needed to do to be the biggest band in the world, and they went and did the hard work. It wasn’t cool, but millions of people liked it enough to buy the album and see the tour and establish Bon Jovi as a massive band with a massive career. I can respect that, and I’m pretty sure I have a copy of this album that I picked up along the way somewhere. But I never play it because it’s not really my thing. But if you like it, that’s cool too.

Master of his trade. Just not a massive fan of his trade. There’s defo a time and a place for the hits which are undoubted hits and great fun, the rest is pretty meh

Slippery When Wet I’ve always been very partial to Wanted Dead or Alive and the pop power of Livin’ on a Prayer is undeniable, as is that of You Give Love a Bad Name, although probably to a lesser extent. I was hoping that the rest of it would be a bit of cheesy fun, but it's basically either some kind of attempt at a Spingsteen knock off (Wild in the Streets), or it sounds like something from the closing credits of a forgotten 80s movie (I’d Die For You), or is the theme song for a cartoon that was created purely as a vehicle to sell a new toy range, like your Bravestars, your M.A.S.K.s etc. Raise Your Hands is the best example of this, so much so that I tried to think of the cartoon it would be from. I decided its called McCall Two Hands, about a space vigilante called Colt McCall who has two bionic hands that can detach and act independently, shooting grenades, guns and ropes and helping capture the baddies, who are led by his nemesis Caxton Duplantis, who is secretly also the Mayor of the planet Srixion 7, where this is set. Replace the chorus of Raise Your Hands with McCall Two Hands and it all comes together. I think the thing I’ve always felt with Bon Jovi is the sense that they seem take themselves very seriously and have a rather self important regard for the profundity of their music when in reality they are writing perfectly fine but pretty standard pop music - strip out the guitars, posturing and self regard and add some semblance of fun or joy, and a lot of these songs are really very similar to something that Max Martin might write for Britney or the Back Street Boys in the late 90s. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that at all, a lot of those 90s era pop songs are absolute bangers, but they generally aren’t pretending to be anything they're not, whereas it feel like these songs are designed to be as popular as can be, but with the transparent veneer of rock n roll rebellion and cool. Lyrically is where the disconnect between what they think they’re doing and the reality is really apparent. I can imagine JBJ sitting on an amp case in the studio, pensively writing his lyrics on a notepad, before declaring ‘I’ve got it!’ “Let it rock, let it go, you can't stop a fire burning out of control”, ‘Yes Jon! That sounds dangerous and rebellious and exciting! Let’s get to work!’. Exactly the kind of lyrics 14 year olds would love, but are ultimately a load of old and tired cliched, vapid piffle. Fire also does seem to be his only metaphor, appearing with some regularity. Also hopefully you can tell me what the technique is for that little squiggle guitar bit that Richie Sambora does ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Wanted Dead or Alive, Livin’ on a Prayer and You Give Love a Bad Name aside, there isn’t really much of interest here, ultimately I think the self importance overrides any enjoyment or sense of fun you might get from the 80s-ness. A shame, but it’s between a 2 and 3, probably closer to 2, those 3 good songs aside I can’t imagine coming back to it, unless I finish off my script for McCall Two Hands of course 💦💦 Playlist submission: Wanted Dead or Alive

I would die happy if I never had to listen to this album again! For many (definitely NOT me!), this is a defining album from the 80's. If you had to buy one Bon Jovi record, this is the one with the hits that are on constant rotation on "classic rock" radio stations that still play the crap out of this record. Besides the middle-age woman that still believe Jon Bon's hair is magical and karaoke singers that think they're cool drunkenly shouting, Living On A Prayer, who else still listens to this schlock? What's wrong with people? Expand your tastes, there are so many, many, many better albums and bands from the 80's!

Only gets two stars because I heard several of these songs on the "80s, 90s, and today" radio station on repeat when I was a kid in the car. 'You Give Love A Bad Name' is a killer track, but the rest is bland, repetitive, overproduced fare that should have been left in the 80s.

Classic 80s rock, but sounds pretty dated now. Wasn't a fan of Bon Jovi back in the day and they haven't grown on me.

Super corny and uninteresting album.

I'm still not a fan, but I tried to listen to this with an open mind. Ultimately, it's just dumb fun.

I was going to give this a 4. It a great album. However, I am going to up that to a 5 as a finger to all of the unfun people who take music so seriously (looking at you Cohen and Dylan fans). Cheesy, yes. But cheese is fucking awesome.

I have fond memories for half of the tracks on this album, and unlike some previous albums, the unknown tracks aren't detractions. Don't necessarily like them, but they don't feel like rehashes. "Livin' On A Prayer" and "You Give Love A Bad Name" are fun, and "Wanted Dead Or Alive" is on my favorites playlist for always.

I certainly recall how this album dominated in the 80's. It's rock with a heavy flourish of pop that at times seems a bit dated, but i certainly can appreciate the 3 bangers on this album as well as a lot of the other strongs are strong. Even though i hadn't heard many of these songs before, i didn't think of any of them as filler. A landmark album.

Some good energy in there. Would be something to enjoy in concert

LOVED IT!

very good album. so many absolute slaps throughout that i already knew and more that ive just found. easy 5 star

<3

Very cool album!!

Crisp, clear vocals and bombastic guitars are pleasing to the ear.

Big, brash, bombastic, hair metal. Starts out with distorted feedback and classical organ style synths just to make sure you're ready to fuckin' rock. Has the hits, no filler and sold more copies than you've had hot dinners. Love it or hate it, its exactly what it sets out to be...

So many bangers

I love it and I hate it

Flashy, big hooks, fun. Think the keyboards sound dated but even I, a somewhat jaded music nerd who never really cared for Bon Jovi, have to admit a large majority of songs on this record absolutely still kick ass. "Social Disease", which sounds like Huey Lewis trying to go glam, is the only real miss here. Favorite tracks: "I'd Die for You", "You Give Love a Bad Name", "Livin' on a Prayer"

Love in the back seat is a theme in at least two songs, so if Bon Jovi gives you a lift and you care for personal hygiene, insist on sitting in the front passenger seat. A weekend of dropping in and out of this record has led to two comparisons: Tom Petty for the aimably retiring choruses (co-written hits aside) and Melt-Banana for the guitar squeal. Neither aspect is as strong, but I had a good time. Now let’s pretend that “Wanted Dead Or Alive” is a Beckettian paean to clarity in existential state.

Overall: 5/10 The very definition of "okay". The best thing about the album is that if you're able to get over how cheesy and outdated the songs are then you'll end up having a pretty good time. The hits are good, the non-hits just exist. I certainly wouldn't have included it in the list, just listen to the singles and you're good. Fav Song: Wanted Dead or Alive Least Fav Song: Wild in the Streets

Look. They can play. And Desmond child gave them hooks the size of the Empire State Building. And Jon’s vocals can be great. Listen to that truckers change when he goes up when you think he’s at the top of his range in livin on a prayer. Great musicians. David Bryan went to Julliard. Richie Sambora was genuinely one of the better post van Halen shredders. Tico Torres is an incredible percussionist. And the late Alec Such was a pocket bassist. Ok Jon tries to be Springsteen. Or the guys from Motley Crue. Or a cowboy. It all more or less works. A lot of people loved this. I actually saw two concerts on this tour. What stuck me is how loud it was - the Sydney entertainment centre wasn’t t built for the size of the rig and add 10000 screaming girls and I damaged my hearing. Second that the show was tightly choreographed. No jamming. No rock and roll danger. This isn’t a criticism (though critics have gone to town on this aspect). A highly professional show which impressed me - at least what I could hear. They deal with cliches in one of the only two ways it’s possible to do it. One you can be like Zappa and subvert them. Or you can write them like you invented them. Jon takes the latter approach. Does it work? Yes. It’s a little bit like having McDonald’s. Fun. Have it occasionally and you won’t get much nutritional advantage and you won’t get much surprise but it’s fun occasionally. 3 stars.

I've never actually listened to a full Bon Jovi album before. I probably won't listen to another one either. Their biggest hits are on this album, — "You Give Love a Bad Name," "Livin on a Prayer," and "Wanted Dead or Alive" — and they still slap. As a soprano, the key change in "Livin on a Prayer" is difficult for me to sing, and it's always entertaining when some dude attempts it at karaoke. Jon Bon Jovi had one of the best voices in rock (I say had because it's gone now, thanks to overuse of steroid shots). Richie Sambora is a legendary guitarist, and there are some great performances on this album. Bon Jovi is hair metal adjacent, but they never went as hard as some other bands, and they also never quite reached the same levels of gross hedonism (not to say the album is completely devoid of cringe lyrics that haven't aged well). I think my biggest complaint about the album is that it gets too repetitive. A lot of the songs sound the same. The reprise of "You Give Love a Bad Name" on "Without Love" is obviously intentional, but the album as a whole has a very formulaic, familiar sound to it. That shouldn't surprise anyone, considering their 2000 comeback hit "It's My Life" sounds very typical of their hits on this album. Bon Jovi is definitely a band most enjoyed via a greatest hits album (in my opinion). I get why this album is on here, but it's just okay for me. 3/5

The problem with this one is it is played out! But that's no fault of Bon Jovi's and every song on here bought each band member a house. So, when something goes so mainstream it defines mainstream and in itself becomes a stereotype, do we blame the art? No, we blame whatever derivative garbage came next that tried to rip this off. Therefore, there are some solid, iconic riffs and staples of the genre all over this album. Ballads, arena rockers, and everything in between. Is it a bit "by the numbers?" YES! But this album rocks and gathered tremendous success as one of the most famous rock records of all time. The album does feature catchy hooks and sing-along choruses, but the songs lack the depth and complexity that make a great rock album. The lyrics are often clichéd and predictable, and the music is formulaic and lacks innovation. Overall, "Slippery When Wet" may be a decent album to put on in the background during a party, but it doesn't offer much beyond surface-level entertainment.

It is exhausting listening to such good-natured mediocrity. The world in which this was relevant just does not exist any more. That's all I got..

Definitely using a private spotify session for this one. I didn't like it when it came out, hair metal cheese, with the MTV network shoving the hits from the album down our throats. I don't know how many hair metal bands the success of this album spawned, but I hated that genre. An album as juvenile as its name.

An over-excitable producer paired with the symbol of generic Mum rock unite to mildly irritate us all.

Bon Jovi might be the worst big Metal band of the 80's. Terrible vocals, bad songwriting, annoying stadium rock anthems that are overplayed the second they were presented the first time. In fact, they aren't even barely Metal. They are weak Hard Rock that tries too hard to be something like Metallica and even this "best" album of theirs is still pretty bad overall. The album opens with 'Let It Rock' which already shows why Bon Jovi is so popular but still so bad. It's a song that combines Glam Metal and Hard Rock with a lot of Pop influences that turn the song... well Pop. And that is something that destroys the good things that might be lurking way beneath the surface. There is just too much synth organ at the start and once the actual track hypes itself up, you are already not interested anymore. The production and the mixing is way too muddy and noisy to be pleasent and the vocals are just bad. I can praise the energy as well as the anthemic vocals in the chorus but the chorus is also the only thing that makes it somewhat okay even if the entire track is still not good. 'You Give Love a Bad Name', is nearly a good song. It's okay but not good, not even close. Rather, it's listenable with a legendary chorus but again, the vocals are terrible. With just some very fun parts, that are destroyed by verses and brings the overall enjoyment to a point that it's not more than an average AOR Glam Metal track. The synthpop influences on 'Livin' on a Prayer' give it a legendary intro and even if the song is so overplayed and it still has terrible lyrics, both production and songwriting is much better which makes this an above average track which I do not mind listening to once in a while. It's still one of the most overrated songs of all time. With 'Social Disease' they seem to add influences from Jazz-Rock which is executed pretty badly. The moaning and synthesized intro is even worse and the Pop influences are even bigger. The song is just a big mess of weird additions of which only a few are somewhat helpful. But it could've been worse which does not mean that it's good. It's average. The Country and Western influences on 'Wanted Dead or Alive' are not only musically but also lyrically which makes it incredibly stupid. This is a Rock album and not a Willie Nelson album. This is just unpleasant to listen to and without a doubt a really bad song. Like actually terrible. On Side B, 'Raise Your Hands' introduces a much heavier sound that actually helps the song have somewhat of a credibility. I do not think that it's good but if every song was like this, the album might've been better. It's mainly the songwriting as well as the mixing that really throws me off. If the song wasn't just thrown together like it is here, it might not have been as bad as it turned out. It's not abhorrent but it's bad. If that wasn't enough, 'Without Love' is one of the corniest and most annoying "sentimental" songs I have ever heard. The songwriting causes physical pain to me and is just terrible. It's supposed to be a love song to cry to but I am just crying because I think it's torture to listen to the entire thing without going insane. 'I'd Die for You' starts off somewhat promising but once the vocals start, I know that it's going to be the same as the last one: terrible. The lyrics and the songwriting is just absolutely terrible and the chorus is easily one of the most lackluster things I have ever heard. A third grader would've came up with something more interesting. The mixing is horrible again but that is established at this point. I wish that I could say goodbye to the album already but 'Never Say Goodbye' sadly isn't the final song. It goes even deeper into that stream of sentimental Pop with the Metal around it which ends up sounding just bad. Again. The song has horrible: songwriting, lyrics, production, mixing, ideas, and more I guess. There is nothing of value to get out of these songs. Finally, the album ends with 'Wild in the Streets' which, can you guess?, is absolute garbage. It's bland, annoying, bad and has an amount of emotional value where even a fly's buzz could create something more inspiring. My only thought when hearing this is, if someone can turn off the terrible Springsteen cover band. It's just bad. favourites: Livin' on a Prayer (still not good) least favourites: Without Love, I'd Die for You, Wild in the Streets, Never Say Goodbye, Wanted Dead or Alive Rating: light to decent 3 https://rateyourmusic.com/~Emil_ph for more ratings, reviews and takes

Some good rock n roll songs on here but he ain't fit to lick the boss' boots.

Meh. Cheesy, poppy arena rock. Some of the songs are kinda catchy, I guess, it's not grating or offensively bad, just mostly boring.

Got pretty dodgy when it wasn't the hits.

Oh boy… I’m with Denis Leary on the Bon Jovi issue…

A couple of classic bangers but otherwise repetitive

Bastante cheesy aunque disfrutón en algonos momentos

Every single person in their 50's has definitely had at least one terrible sexual experience with this playing in the background. Thankfully I'm not in my 50's. This album is fucking rotten.

Ugh. I. _HATE_ Bon Jovi. Damn you, rabbithole, for making me listen to this. As some of us are from NJ, and grew up during the Bon Jovi hysteria, you could not avoid Bon Jovi, he was everywhere. And listening to this album made me remember why I hated him. The lyrics are so insipid (although not as bad "only time will tell if we stand the test of time," BUT THEY COME CLOSE!!). Every cliche is in the lyrics and it makes me cringe. And the music? It's a blueprint for every 80s and early 90s "hair-metal" band would do. It's all there, the rockers, one or two songs to pull out the lighters. Gah. Nothing special to these songs at all. The production is skilled, but the keyboards, drums, nothing spectacular AT ALL. What they do here they do well, so they are lucky to get two stars.

Oh man, I can't believe how bad this actually is. I'm tempted to give it one star but I'll give it 2 because I think I actually like Livin' on a Prayer when I was kid.

Could be good pump up music but mostly obnoxious

How an rock album can be so featureless? Total impotency. But "Wild In The Streets" somehow saves it from getting 1/5. However, I can understand why this album is among the 1000.

Sugmanuts

A few musical tricks, competent soloing and "Raise Your Hands" having a good riff saves this from total musical failure. I thought punk had gotten rid of this kind of music

1986: You Give Love A Bad Name, Livin' On A Prayer

Some classics, way too edgy tho

Hook-driven pop music with a hair metal edge (mainly in guitar riffs and solos), because it was the popular genre at the time, loud drums and big crowd-like back vocals tailored for the arenas don't necessarily make a good album. Bon Jovi's big breakthrough album was a smash hit when it came out, but it really hasn't aged well. A lot of the hits from this album (Livin' On A Prayer, You Give Love A Bad Name) are still played regularly on Classic Rock radio stations nowadays (2021) in my hometown and we're kinda saturated tbh !

If you view this as a bit of fun and not to be taken too seriously, it certainly passes.

Ooooh so cheesy.

Shitty synth patches and drum machines destroy whatever impact this music might have had. And let's just say that David Gray's voice is an acquired taste. The compositions are utterly undistinguished as are the arrangements. Bland and forgettable middle of the road pop. I can't speak to the lyrics because I couldn't get past the music.

Beu Jovi

Bon Jovi ROCKS!!! 🤘 In like a sort of Gen X, classic rock radio kind of way. They play a commercial for Naproxen and your local mattress store before coming back with "15 minutes of non-stop ROCK!" and they kick it off with Livin' on a Prayer. What I'm saying is that in the wide world of rock music, from Deep Purple to King Gizzard, Bon Jovi is kind of lame. A little fun, but also a little lame. It feels like Jovi is performing rock, but is never really hitting the mark. Oh, and the b-sides are b-sides. It probably has a reason to be here.

Niet echt slecht maar ik kan het niet waarderen

Average

Without Love and Wild in the Streets are pretty good.

😩… Die stilistische Nähe von Richie Sambora zu Erik Johnson war mir vorher nicht aufgefallen, was zu einem Gutteil daran liegt, dass ich mich stilistisch mit Sambora noch nie auseinandergesetzt habe und mit Johnson nur nach ein zwei Hör- Eindrücken. Zum Album: eine Platte aus den tiefsten Achtzigern mit den bekannten und erwartbaren Gitarrensoli mit zu vielen Noten und zu wenig Musik. Die songschreiberische Finesse bewegt sich auf überschaubarem Niveau, die beiden bekanntesten Songs Living on a Prayer und You Give Love a Bad Name sorgen zumindest für so etwas wie Schunkel-Nostalgie, mehr bleibt dann von diesem Album auch nicht übrig und auch nicht zu sagen. Niemals mehr als 2 Sterne.

Some good melodies and production but nothing memorable 5/10

Generic 80s rock. Solid "eh"

Pop-metal, flere kendte sange, høj energi

arggh, didn't finish this one - I acknowledge the importance, but too much exposure for it to be fresh

Yeah, no, I'm not listening to this, thanks though

One of my favourite bands and one of their best albums, can’t go wrong! Beautifully 1980s rock all the way through

Every 80’s girl will love this. Some really great songs here.

Like all the hits on one album. Difficult to not dig.

Not too shabby

Отличный альбом, новая классика

Legendary album !

Livin on a Prayer is one of my 50 or so favorite songs of all time. The added bonus of Wanted Dead or Alive and You Give Love a Bad Name along with underrated bangers like Raise Your Hands pushes this to 5 stars

actually not one bad song on this album, so many classics on here aswell!! bless him his voice sounds so painful but it adds to it, love you bon jovi 😜

I thought the "crowd singing" effect was a one-time thing in Livin' On A Prayer, but it turns out it's used in pretty much every track. The mixing places Bon Jovi's vocal dead centre, with a group audience behind the listener mirroring the vocals. Really tricks the 1986 listener into thinking these songs are more beloved than they are. Which is pretty genius if you think about it. This was the band's breakthrough album and it has the huge, stadium-esque sound to match it. Plus, having three instantly recognisable megahits in one album is a bit unfair. Give the other albums on the list some room to breathe, will ya? The remaining tracks aren't too bad either. If any of the songs on a record could have plausibly been a global hit single, you know you've done something right. I like the lead vocal. The singer is a pretty typical rock screamer but it works wonders for this style. The arrangement is almost a textbook level of perfection. Incredible riffs in the lead guitar, bass, and synths. Generally great instrument arrangement (the tried-and-true guitar/bass/vocal/drums plus some synths here and there for the 80s flavour). Gritty rock melodies and chords. Maybe a slight overreliance on VIb-VIIb-I progressions, but I don't mind it. Less wishwashy than the infamous "80s production" which is definitely a relief. Livin' On A Prayer, as iconic as it is, doesn't even crack the top 3 tracks on the album because of how dang good some of the "lesser" hits are. Also, as another reviewer wrote: "was going to give this a 4. It's a great album. However, I am going to up that to a 5 as a finger to all of the unfun people who take music so seriously." Yeah. Take that, hippies. 5/5 Key tracks: You Give Love A Bad Name, Social Disease, Wanted Dead Or Alive

Banger

Every song sounds the same but in a different font. Overall great album though

yeah you could come into my bedroom in the middle of the night while i'm having the deepest sleep of my life and scream "SHOT THROUGH THE HEART" at me and I'd jump out of the bed and return "AND YOU'RE TO BLAME" 5/5

Love this album. Hair rock ftw!

Like a greatest karaoke hits album.

There are a lot of bad hair metal albums out there. This is not one of them. Even if the genre might be played out, this still stands as an example of how it can be done right.

One of the best rock albums ever. Up there with appetite and others. Hit after hit after hit simply a perfect stoorm and mix of love and disdain and rocking non stopping.