Slippery When Wet

One of my absolute favourite things in the world is how much hipsters loathe 80s Bon Jovi. Here's an analysis: Musically, this album is basically just hair metal/arena rock. Big ole guitars and drums, riffs and hooks, gang vocals in choruses, crisp production, etc. REVERB. Songs mostly follow convention, chord progressions are nice and predictable, even the track list does that thing where every few songs there's something that passes for a ballad. Image-wise, it looks like hair metal again, or maybe a bit like new wave/80s pop a la Duran Duran. Lots of shoulder pads, hairspray and FLAIR. There's a solid chance that they had style consultants PAID BY THE BIG BUSINESS RECORD LABEL!!!11! Lyrically it occupies the same kinda space as stuff like Bruce Springsteen: sentimental numbers about idyllic Middle America, songs about brotherhood and sticking up for your mates, then love songs about rooting chicks in the back of cars and having no money but that's ok because WE'RE GONNA LIVE ON LOVE ALONE BABY, etc etc. Cheeeeeeeese. So the hair metal sound, the "corporate 80s rock" outfits and the Americana themes just all add up to something that becomes hipster kryptonite. I guess they hate the perceived inauthenticity of it all? Maybe they hate that it's a good bit of fun? Or maybe simply because it's such a "white dude thing" and that's an easy target for hipsters. Either way, fucking lol. As for my thoughts: I was only 2 when this album came out, but I had a phase in the early 00s where I was totally into Bon Jovi and a bunch of other 80s hair metal bands. It really is a lot of fun. It's great for driving up the highway to, slammin' beers in the sun to, butchering at karaoke night... it's just genuinely fucking cool. And hat off to Richie Sambora, he's the real star of the show here. Desmond Child as well I guess lol. If I was rating this in comparison to the BJ catalogue (or even hair metal in general) I'd probably only give it a 3 or 4, but as an entry in this book and having just read what I KNEW would be the usual oblivious moaning about how fake and cliche it is in other reviews, I'm giving it full marks. 5/5.

Can't really take this seriously. This era of pop/hair "metal" is one of my least favorite subgenres and one which I don't really understand. Maybe I just need to loosen up? I don't know. I mean the choruses are catchy for sure. But to me it sounds so superficial, and maybe that's intentional? I understand how this could make sense to kids and teens in a certain context but I feel like it doesn't age well outside of that context. It's like kids dressing up and playing rock star and I guess there's a certain amount of sincerity/directness and simplicity to that. I mean I grew up when this was wildly popular and I was never attracted to it then nor do I have any nostalgia for it.

Hair metal was a mistake

These songs are so stupid and I hate his voice. This is the pinnacle of annoying 80's rock. The only thing saving this from 1 star is that some of these songs might be tolerable with a different singer.

What would the world of Karaoke be without Bon Jovi..........? Better. It would be infinitely better. This album is washed out, dated, and embarrassing. I try to imagine the people who still listen to this recreationally and am instantly awash in a sea of peroxide, silicone, and yager. Gross.

If any album had an expiration date it was this one

In retrospect, writing a glowing 5 star review of Springsteen’s “Darkness at the Edge of Town” that doubled as a homage to New Jersey, my home state, was…a mistake. There’s no doubt that the generator saw that review and is now challenging me. “Oh, you love New Jersey, huh??? New Jersey’s the best place in the country, is it? Well, let’s see you defend this New Jersey-shaped turd.” I can’t and won’t. Bon Jovi is a blight upon the Garden State. You can make that my epitaph. This album cover is literally a photo of a trash bag. If that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about Slippery When Wet, then nothing I say will change your mind.

I thought I’d enjoy this, as I’m quite partial to a 80s cheesy number. But ultimately it’s just not very good, the rest of album didn’t have many hooks which stood out after the 3 big singles. Tempted to give a 1, but the biggies make that unfair so gets a 2. Bon Jovi, you give 80s cheesy rock a bad name bruv.

nah i'm good

Look, Bon Jovi sucks, 80s hair metal sucks, synthersised stadium rock n roll sucks. But everyone has had that moment when they're at 1st year university and the cool older kids all know the words to Livin on a Dream and for a weird 18 months you get tricked into thinking that it's ironically cool in a daggy retro way. If you have taste you realise bon Jovi is shit around prac year, but it's a wild ride while it lasts. 3/5 based on that alone.

Don't like this bubblegum metal.

Awesome - a stone cold singalong classic

Confirmed my dislike of Bon Jovi. Just cheesy cringeworthy pop metal. Can't really stand it

I think my brain was broken by Def Leppard, and now I like hair metal. Something must be seriously wrong with me because I listen to this and go, yeah this is sick. Which is a MAJOR change. High school me would barely recognize me now. I can feel the disdain that scarved, suitcoat-wearing 17-year-old hipster Jacob is giving current-day Jacob right now. Pick any year in the last 20 years, and Bon Jovi is the least cool band in any one of those years. But... okay but but but it's kind of sick though right??? Maybe I'm just turning into a smooth-brained old man. Maybe I just like guitars and hair and sweaty rooms and three chords. I don't know what's happening but something happens when I listen to Bon Jovi to the back of my brain, like a cat being pet on just the right spot of their ears, and I go... "this is good." I just watch a video on tonic immobilization of sharks, where if you pet them on the front of their mouth, just above their sharp teeth, they just go into this docile state and you can turn them upside down and they're super fine about it. That's me with... Bon Jovi?? Seriously? I can't believe it. I just LIKE IT! I DO! Good album? I mean there was only one song I didn't like, and it was the last track, Wild In The Streets. Every other one was just... tonic immobilization. 4/5. Can't stomach a 5, because it's genuinely such trashy music but it's MY TRASHY MUSIC DAMMIT.

“Slippery When Wet” by Bon Jovi (1986) First a word about that album cover. American listeners got a toned down version. But the original cover (which I’ve included here) is better suited to the artistic thrust of the music. Prudish marketing decision again gets in the way of the art. The opening track sets the stage for highly competent stadium rock. References to Bach (“Toccata and Fugue in D Minor”) and The Doors (“Break on Through”) provide evidence of thoughtful glam rock (if that’s not a contradiction in terms). The album satisfies. High quality performances by vocalists, keyboards, and guitar. Rhythm section is solid, if not particularly creative or adroit. Lyrics are actually very good. A good rock album. 3/5

New Jersey

Only Sambora's guitar playing saves this from being 1 star. Pretty terrible.

Ive listened to this album at least a dozen times, and is definitely one of the best rock albums written. So many classic tracks, and even the ones that aren't are great. The only issue with the album I have is it's direction. You get some rock songs like "raise your hand" and "dead or alive" but others are pop rock. Still, no musical issues with this album whatsoever.

A little surprised a panel of music critics put this one in. For me, a couple of novelty megahits drag this album into the 1001 list. There's a lot of filler, so I'm scoring this largely on the popularity of two or three songs above anything else. I quite like those songs but they mostly remind me of cheesy nightclubs. 5/10

Very cool album!!

<3

very good album. so many absolute slaps throughout that i already knew and more that ive just found. easy 5 star

LOVED IT!

Some good energy in there. Would be something to enjoy in concert

This is the first CD I ever owned by my first "favorite band." Dad got it for me as part of his 'welcome" to Columbia House membership after he bought his first CD player. That was a big deal in our house because it sort of reinvigorated my dad's music consumption at an age that I was impressionable and interested in music for the first time. When I was 5-6 years old, I LOVED hearing "You Give Love a Bad Name" on the radio. My favorite pizza place at the time had a juke box with "Wanted Dead or Alive" B/W "Livin' on a Prayer." Man. Those were the days. $0.25 for those two songs to go with my 7-Up and pizza. So, obviously there is a lot of nostalgia here. But objectively, I think "Slippery When Wet" is one of the pinnacle moments of the 80s glam/hair rock. It's a well-constructed record, I like the pacing, and there are some big hits here. As far as I know, the members of the band haven't been taken down in any "me too" accusations, which is remarkable given the excesses of the time when they were touring. And, John Bon Jovi has turned out to be a real stand-up dude.

I certainly recall how this album dominated in the 80's. It's rock with a heavy flourish of pop that at times seems a bit dated, but i certainly can appreciate the 3 bangers on this album as well as a lot of the other strongs are strong. Even though i hadn't heard many of these songs before, i didn't think of any of them as filler. A landmark album.

I have fond memories for half of the tracks on this album, and unlike some previous albums, the unknown tracks aren't detractions. Don't necessarily like them, but they don't feel like rehashes. "Livin' On A Prayer" and "You Give Love A Bad Name" are fun, and "Wanted Dead Or Alive" is on my favorites playlist for always.

Flashy, big hooks, fun. Think the keyboards sound dated but even I, a somewhat jaded music nerd who never really cared for Bon Jovi, have to admit a large majority of songs on this record absolutely still kick ass. "Social Disease", which sounds like Huey Lewis trying to go glam, is the only real miss here. Favorite tracks: "I'd Die for You", "You Give Love a Bad Name", "Livin' on a Prayer"

I love it and I hate it

People who don't like this album are the people who think rollercoasters are only for kids. They're just snobby and sticks in the mud. It's not a perfect album, but it's fun, and when you're from New Jersey, it's practically illegal to dislike Bon Jovi. That might make me a bit biased, but this album is full of stadium anthems and is the definition of a good time. Livin' On A Prayer and You Give Love A Bad Name are absolute classics, and the non-singles are great.

So many bangers

Big, brash, bombastic, hair metal. Starts out with distorted feedback and classical organ style synths just to make sure you're ready to fuckin' rock. Has the hits, no filler and sold more copies than you've had hot dinners. Love it or hate it, its exactly what it sets out to be...

Master of his trade. Just not a massive fan of his trade. There’s defo a time and a place for the hits which are undoubted hits and great fun, the rest is pretty meh

The problem with this one is it is played out! But that's no fault of Bon Jovi's and every song on here bought each band member a house. So, when something goes so mainstream it defines mainstream and in itself becomes a stereotype, do we blame the art? No, we blame whatever derivative garbage came next that tried to rip this off. Therefore, there are some solid, iconic riffs and staples of the genre all over this album. Ballads, arena rockers, and everything in between. Is it a bit "by the numbers?" YES! But this album rocks and gathered tremendous success as one of the most famous rock records of all time. The album does feature catchy hooks and sing-along choruses, but the songs lack the depth and complexity that make a great rock album. The lyrics are often clichéd and predictable, and the music is formulaic and lacks innovation. Overall, "Slippery When Wet" may be a decent album to put on in the background during a party, but it doesn't offer much beyond surface-level entertainment.

arggh, didn't finish this one - I acknowledge the importance, but too much exposure for it to be fresh

Pop-metal, flere kendte sange, høj energi

Generic 80s rock. Solid "eh"

Some good melodies and production but nothing memorable 5/10

😩… Die stilistische Nähe von Richie Sambora zu Erik Johnson war mir vorher nicht aufgefallen, was zu einem Gutteil daran liegt, dass ich mich stilistisch mit Sambora noch nie auseinandergesetzt habe und mit Johnson nur nach ein zwei Hör- Eindrücken. Zum Album: eine Platte aus den tiefsten Achtzigern mit den bekannten und erwartbaren Gitarrensoli mit zu vielen Noten und zu wenig Musik. Die songschreiberische Finesse bewegt sich auf überschaubarem Niveau, die beiden bekanntesten Songs Living on a Prayer und You Give Love a Bad Name sorgen zumindest für so etwas wie Schunkel-Nostalgie, mehr bleibt dann von diesem Album auch nicht übrig und auch nicht zu sagen. Niemals mehr als 2 Sterne.

I'm still not a fan, but I tried to listen to this with an open mind. Ultimately, it's just dumb fun.

Super corny and uninteresting album.

Without Love and Wild in the Streets are pretty good.

Average

Classic 80s rock, but sounds pretty dated now. Wasn't a fan of Bon Jovi back in the day and they haven't grown on me.

Niet echt slecht maar ik kan het niet waarderen

Bon Jovi ROCKS!!! 🤘 In like a sort of Gen X, classic rock radio kind of way. They play a commercial for Naproxen and your local mattress store before coming back with "15 minutes of non-stop ROCK!" and they kick it off with Livin' on a Prayer. What I'm saying is that in the wide world of rock music, from Deep Purple to King Gizzard, Bon Jovi is kind of lame. A little fun, but also a little lame. It feels like Jovi is performing rock, but is never really hitting the mark. Oh, and the b-sides are b-sides. It probably has a reason to be here.

Beu Jovi

Shitty synth patches and drum machines destroy whatever impact this music might have had. And let's just say that David Gray's voice is an acquired taste. The compositions are utterly undistinguished as are the arrangements. Bland and forgettable middle of the road pop. I can't speak to the lyrics because I couldn't get past the music.

Ooooh so cheesy.

If you view this as a bit of fun and not to be taken too seriously, it certainly passes.

Hook-driven pop music with a hair metal edge (mainly in guitar riffs and solos), because it was the popular genre at the time, loud drums and big crowd-like back vocals tailored for the arenas don't necessarily make a good album. Bon Jovi's big breakthrough album was a smash hit when it came out, but it really hasn't aged well. A lot of the hits from this album (Livin' On A Prayer, You Give Love A Bad Name) are still played regularly on Classic Rock radio stations nowadays (2021) in my hometown and we're kinda saturated tbh !

Some classics, way too edgy tho

1986: You Give Love A Bad Name, Livin' On A Prayer

A few musical tricks, competent soloing and "Raise Your Hands" having a good riff saves this from total musical failure. I thought punk had gotten rid of this kind of music

Sugmanuts

How an rock album can be so featureless? Total impotency. But "Wild In The Streets" somehow saves it from getting 1/5. However, I can understand why this album is among the 1000.

Could be good pump up music but mostly obnoxious

Only gets two stars because I heard several of these songs on the "80s, 90s, and today" radio station on repeat when I was a kid in the car. 'You Give Love A Bad Name' is a killer track, but the rest is bland, repetitive, overproduced fare that should have been left in the 80s.

Oh man, I can't believe how bad this actually is. I'm tempted to give it one star but I'll give it 2 because I think I actually like Livin' on a Prayer when I was kid.

Ugh. I. _HATE_ Bon Jovi. Damn you, rabbithole, for making me listen to this. As some of us are from NJ, and grew up during the Bon Jovi hysteria, you could not avoid Bon Jovi, he was everywhere. And listening to this album made me remember why I hated him. The lyrics are so insipid (although not as bad "only time will tell if we stand the test of time," BUT THEY COME CLOSE!!). Every cliche is in the lyrics and it makes me cringe. And the music? It's a blueprint for every 80s and early 90s "hair-metal" band would do. It's all there, the rockers, one or two songs to pull out the lighters. Gah. Nothing special to these songs at all. The production is skilled, but the keyboards, drums, nothing spectacular AT ALL. What they do here they do well, so they are lucky to get two stars.

Every single person in their 50's has definitely had at least one terrible sexual experience with this playing in the background. Thankfully I'm not in my 50's. This album is fucking rotten.

Bastante cheesy aunque disfrutón en algonos momentos

A couple of classic bangers but otherwise repetitive

Oh boy… I’m with Denis Leary on the Bon Jovi issue…

Got pretty dodgy when it wasn't the hits.

Meh. Cheesy, poppy arena rock. Some of the songs are kinda catchy, I guess, it's not grating or offensively bad, just mostly boring.

Some good rock n roll songs on here but he ain't fit to lick the boss' boots.

I would die happy if I never had to listen to this album again! For many (definitely NOT me!), this is a defining album from the 80's. If you had to buy one Bon Jovi record, this is the one with the hits that are on constant rotation on "classic rock" radio stations that still play the crap out of this record. Besides the middle-age woman that still believe Jon Bon's hair is magical and karaoke singers that think they're cool drunkenly shouting, Living On A Prayer, who else still listens to this schlock? What's wrong with people? Expand your tastes, there are so many, many, many better albums and bands from the 80's!

Can people appreciate the hackneyed music and stupid lyrics of this band *unironically*? Can they? Really??? A 3.28 global grade suggests a lot of them can. Unless it's a joke that went on for too long. The "contributor" to this app, who tried to mock "hipsters" through their review of this album, seems to be in on that joke, for instance. Maybe you've seen that review towards the top of this section? What's your take on it? Are you so easily categorized as that reviewer thinks all of us are? For one, I don't think I am. The thing is, you don't need to be a hipster to dislike the lame so-called "rock music" that big labels tried to shove down everyone's throat during the eighties, thanks to MTV and heavy radio rotations. At the exact same time, you had truly *great* bands in the underground trying to survive, goddamnit. Calling fans of those underground acts mere "hipsters", especially when it comes to that dreadful decade, is missing the point about who had the real economic power in the music industry at the time. And to put it bluntly, it was not the good guys who had such power--granted that you can find "good guys" in the music industry anyhow, of course. :D The tables have since been turned, starting from the nineties: the underground acts became prophetic and commercially viable, and hairmetal died a quick painless death, quite fortunately. Once again, one didn't need to be a "hipster" to draw a heavy sigh of relief back then. That's where--all "subjective" feelings about Bon Jovi aside--this reviewer I've mentioned earlier got it wrong: being unable to appreciate hairmetal unironically has nothing to do with being an elitist (otherwise I wouldn't have appreciated the "alternative" nineties as much as I did--after all, most of those indie bands exploding at the time sold a lot of units, didn't they?). No, all empty binary posturing aside, it's only that Bon Jovi's music had a very clear peremption date, as that *other* reviewer aptly puts it elsewhere. Many acts with clichéd reflexes such as this one--hailing from *any* decade--usually don't make it to such a list. And it's because they also had those peremption dates written on their foreheads. And this in capital letters. I can't see why Bon Jovi shouldn't be considered as one of them, their one-time commercial success be damned! I've given *Slippery When Wet* a fair try, just as I do for every album in here. I have to say, "Livin' On A Prayer" is probably not the most popular song by Bon Jovi *for nothing*: it's got an infectious chorus, propelling guitar parts and arrangements in the verses, and an overall energy that is contagious and fun. I readily admit that this single is good, and that Bon Jovi had a great calling card in their hands with this one. Yet *one* effective single doesn't necessarily mean the album it's from is good or even listenable. About the other few "highlights" from this LP: even if Sergio Leone, John Ford, John Wayne and Clint Eastwood had been locked in a room for hours, chances are that they wouldn't have been able to create a song with more laugh-out-loud clichés about the wild west than the ones found in "Wanted Dead Or Alive". Speaking of the strange "highlights" in this LP, "I'd Die For You" is also an interesting cut. It's got a nice intro section, as some other tracks have in the album (see the Bach-inspired organ at the start of the album"s opener). Yet in spite of the Bruce Springsteen influence, the main melody of "I'd Die For You" is a little flat. It seems that, contrary to "Livin' On A Prayer", the composition suffers from a lack of contrast between the verses and the choruses. Too bad, I almost thought I could file that tune under the "quite good" tag. Those two songs are somewhat bearable, at least. Especially compared to the other downright *horrible* tracks plaguing this record from start to finish. By the way, it's quite a feat that those horrible tracks are both famous singles ("You Give Love A Bad Name") and deep, deep cuts that should have stayed buried deep if I had had my say about it (that terrible, terrible "Social Disease", for example--I wish I could erase all memories I have about that dreadful thing RIGHT NOW!). To put it in a nutshell, it's all very dumb. Dumb hairmetal guitar riffing, dumb hairmetal guitar solos, dumb synths, dumb vocals... Dumb, dumb, dumb. And don't get me started on the lyrics. The meter of those lines is often awful, but it's not even the worst: to wax poetical about such things in the most appropriate fashion, the contents of those lyrics... suck balls. Pardon my French, here. You can't change a leopard's spots, I guess. ;) I needed just one example of those terrible, terrible lyrics for this review--which I'm writing as I'm listening to the album again. And it seems that closer "Wild In the Streets" has just provided that perfect example for me. Funny how you don't need to look for long to find bad lyrics in this LP, since they are everywhere: "Joey comes from a sacred part of town / Where sometimes you talk so tough that your feet don't touch the ground". What the HECK is that even supposed to mean??? And it's not even the worst example of how bad most of those lyrics are, I can guarantee that. I've spent two hours of my life listening to this album and writing a review about it. That's two hours from my life that are never gonna come back. Maybe that's the true meaning of the "Slippery When Wet" title. Once you've tread on such mediocre grounds, you're bound to slip on them as you desperately try to find redeeming features that could save the album, to no avail. Sooner or later, you end up falling, and find out that it was all a waste of time. Hope I didn't waste yours with this lengthy review. Thank you for your attention, and have a good day. Number of albums left to review: 396 Number of albums from the list I find relevant enough to be mandatory listens: 271 Albums from the list might* include in mine later on: 144 Albums from the list I won't include in mine (many others are more essential to me): 191 (including this one)

🙌

An album consisting mostly of my favourite bon Jovi songs, how can this be less than a 5?

Classic

Classic JBJ. Awesome album and all winners

Great album! Well mastered and almost every track is a good listen.

every track is a banger

Wat moet ik hier nu van zeggen. Ik heb nooit iets gehad met Jon Bon Jovi, al ken ik zijn bekende nummers wel natuurlijk. Het is gewoon een goede band. Geen overdreven bewijsdrang maar lekkere nummers met een melodie en toch dat stoere rock geluid. Ik vind de zanger ook goed met zijn beetje rauwe stem, maar lang niet zo irritant als Nickelback. Ten slotte de nummers zijn stuk voor stuk steengoed. Niet zoals bij veel albums en paar hitjes en de rest klinkt bekend naar. Ineens was het album al af. De tijd gaat snel als je lol hebt. *****

aaa

Still slaps hard. Who can resist Livin' on a Prayer?

Jugend flash-back… hervorragend gealtert 👍🤘😎❤️

Yeahhh. More of this!

Fantastic album - lots of great hits on this and an easy listen. 9/10.

Some great metal-ish music! Don't like the album cover but the songs are cool :) Favorite Track: Livin' on a Prayer In one word: Slaps

Just classic. So good.

My all-time favorite bands! Love every song

It it's time, it was smooth enough for connoisseurs and rough enough for ruffians.

Mange toposanger, men er ikke nok til å bli 5

‘86 KIX! This came out a few months after I graduated, but it remains inextricably tied to that time when I graduated from high school. Hair metal at its most refined! I fell in love with “Livin’ On A Prayer” from the first time I heard it. But this album is an embarrassment of hits. “Let It Rock,” “You Give Love A Bad Name,” “Wanted Dead Or Alive,” “Raise Your Hands,” “I’d Die For You” and “Never Say Goodbye” defined the sunset of my teens and remain incredible hits! And hearing the deeper cuts “Without Love” and “Wild In The Streets” I go right back and can sing along even though until a few minutes ago I hadn’t hear them in 30 years. Several of the songs on this album have stayed in the rotation over the last 30 years. But listening to it now I realize that I’ve forgotten more great Bon Jovi than I had been listening to. Now I have to figure out how I’m going to see this group live in concert for a long-overdue in-person Bon Jovi experience. But whether or not that ever happens, SLIPPERY WHEN WET is back and in permanent rotation. I haven’t had this much fun since I got snowed in at the Elks’ convention!

So fun. I love this record. Takes me back. Back back back. Super fun!

This was a fun blast from the 80s. An album with so many sing-along singles but also just an awesome rock album.

Super fun! All of the big singles score high on the slap-o-meter

Classic rock album!

What a great album. 3-4 of Bon Jovi's biggest hits are on here and the rest of the songs are also not far behind in terms of quality. 80s rock at its finest

The album that made hair metal an iconic moment of the 80s, combing pop with metal, with megahits that dominate radio and karaoke to this day. Production is spot on, BJ’s voice is great, Sambora is amazing, the album is the perfect 80s rock album

Nice throw back to the big hair era - some real well known tunes on there and some lesser favourites

stone cold 5

They honestly did put a lot of care into their albums in the 80s

O segundo melhor álbum da Bon Jovi (em primeiro para mim está o New Jersey) que contempla o melhor momento da carreira deles, o ápice. Aula de hard rock, voz impecável do Jon, solos marcantes do Richie... Que fase maravilhosa! Never Say Goodbye está entre as maiores baladas do hard rock sim e com certeza.

Great album, very high energy a lot of classics

Aaaahhhhhhh maaaan I love Bon Jovi! What a record! It always gets me feeling frisky and in the mood to watch Power Rangers. There is no greater love in this crazy world than the beauty in Bon Jovi's voice and lyrics. Amen. I'm listening to it again right now.

Few big hits, others that are decent.