Journey Complete!
Finisher # to complete the list
1038
Albums Rated
2.75
Average Rating
95%
Complete
Rating Distribution
Rating Timeline
Taste Profile
1990s
Favorite Decade
Shoegaze
Favorite Genre
UK
Top Origin
Critic
Rater Style ?
101
5-Star Albums
173
1-Star Albums
Breakdown
By Genre
By Decade
By Origin
Albums
You Love More Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Logical Progression
LTJ Bukem
|
5 | 2.52 | +2.48 |
|
Moss Side Story
Barry Adamson
|
5 | 2.53 | +2.47 |
|
Boy In Da Corner
Dizzee Rascal
|
5 | 2.57 | +2.43 |
|
Live At The Witch Trials
The Fall
|
5 | 2.64 | +2.36 |
|
m b v
My Bloody Valentine
|
5 | 2.72 | +2.28 |
|
Vanishing Point
Primal Scream
|
5 | 2.82 | +2.18 |
|
This Nation’s Saving Grace
The Fall
|
5 | 2.89 | +2.11 |
|
The Contino Sessions
Death In Vegas
|
5 | 2.91 | +2.09 |
|
Fred Neil
Fred Neil
|
5 | 2.92 | +2.08 |
|
Come Find Yourself
Fun Lovin' Criminals
|
5 | 2.93 | +2.07 |
You Love Less Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Thriller
Michael Jackson
|
1 | 4.22 | -3.22 |
|
The Wall
Pink Floyd
|
1 | 4.14 | -3.14 |
|
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
Elton John
|
1 | 3.93 | -2.93 |
|
The Stranger
Billy Joel
|
1 | 3.86 | -2.86 |
|
Bad
Michael Jackson
|
1 | 3.81 | -2.81 |
|
Off The Wall
Michael Jackson
|
1 | 3.78 | -2.78 |
|
American Idiot
Green Day
|
1 | 3.76 | -2.76 |
|
21
Adele
|
1 | 3.7 | -2.7 |
|
The Joshua Tree
U2
|
1 | 3.67 | -2.67 |
|
Sheer Heart Attack
Queen
|
1 | 3.65 | -2.65 |
Artists
Favorites
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Radiohead | 6 | 4.5 |
| Sonic Youth | 5 | 4.6 |
| My Bloody Valentine | 3 | 4.67 |
| Nirvana | 3 | 4.67 |
| Pixies | 3 | 4.67 |
| The Fall | 3 | 4.67 |
| Portishead | 2 | 5 |
| LCD Soundsystem | 2 | 5 |
| Oasis | 2 | 5 |
| The Specials | 2 | 5 |
| Primal Scream | 2 | 5 |
| The Chemical Brothers | 2 | 5 |
| The Jesus And Mary Chain | 2 | 5 |
| Pulp | 2 | 5 |
| Beatles | 7 | 4 |
| The Doors | 3 | 4.33 |
Least Favorites
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| U2 | 3 | 1 |
| Michael Jackson | 3 | 1 |
| Bruce Springsteen | 5 | 1.6 |
| Deep Purple | 3 | 1.33 |
| Yes | 3 | 1.33 |
| Kanye West | 3 | 1.33 |
| George Michael | 2 | 1 |
| The The | 2 | 1 |
| Coldplay | 2 | 1 |
| Gene Clark | 2 | 1 |
| Taylor Swift | 2 | 1 |
| Ryan Adams | 2 | 1 |
| Adele | 2 | 1 |
| Fairport Convention | 2 | 1 |
| Billy Bragg | 2 | 1 |
| Emmylou Harris | 2 | 1 |
| XTC | 2 | 1 |
| Björk | 4 | 1.75 |
| Simon & Garfunkel | 3 | 1.67 |
| Public Enemy | 3 | 1.67 |
| Queen | 3 | 1.67 |
| Van Morrison | 3 | 1.67 |
| Neil Young & Crazy Horse | 3 | 1.67 |
| Madonna | 3 | 1.67 |
| Peter Gabriel | 3 | 1.67 |
| Kate Bush | 3 | 1.67 |
| The Byrds | 5 | 2 |
| Leonard Cohen | 5 | 2 |
| Fiona Apple | 2 | 1.5 |
| Bee Gees | 2 | 1.5 |
| Depeche Mode | 2 | 1.5 |
| Big Star | 2 | 1.5 |
| Def Leppard | 2 | 1.5 |
| Robert Wyatt | 2 | 1.5 |
| Eagles | 2 | 1.5 |
| Van Halen | 2 | 1.5 |
| Rod Stewart | 2 | 1.5 |
| The Police | 2 | 1.5 |
| Rush | 2 | 1.5 |
| ABBA | 2 | 1.5 |
| k.d. lang | 2 | 1.5 |
| Christina Aguilera | 2 | 1.5 |
| Rufus Wainwright | 2 | 1.5 |
| Metallica | 4 | 2 |
| Steely Dan | 4 | 2 |
| Frank Sinatra | 3 | 2 |
| Marvin Gaye | 3 | 2 |
| Elvis Costello & The Attractions | 4 | 2.25 |
| Stevie Wonder | 4 | 2.25 |
Controversial
| Artist | Ratings |
|---|---|
| Fleetwood Mac | 5, 1 |
| Pink Floyd | 1, 5, 5 |
| Dusty Springfield | 2, 5 |
| Red Hot Chili Peppers | 1, 4 |
| Amy Winehouse | 5, 2 |
5-Star Albums (101)
View Album Wall
Popular Reviews
Maxwell
2/5
can someone please help me.
i accidentally put this album on through the speakers in my room and the all encompassing smoothness has removed all friction from every object in the room.
I can't open the door as i no longer have fingerprints and the door handle is slipperier than the soap in the prison showers.
once i finally get out of this room the question remains will my new orb shape be the new fashion and shoot me to international fame or will i be shunned as the weird ball boy who looks like Duncan Goodhews head rolling around.
77 likes
Derek & The Dominos
2/5
there was an hour and a quarter of this shit.
we know Clapton is a massive bell end but that is some serious self love to release over an hour of you wanking off on your guitar just to get all the middle aged white blokes in stonewashed jeans to get a moist crotch from feeling like they know 'the blues'.
it takes a cunt of claptons proportions to take the blues and switch it from heartfelt songs of woe and turn it into an excuse to make everyone look at how good you are on the guitar.
that bit form goodfellas is good though.
68 likes
Coldplay
1/5
if you can somehow detach the insufferable cunt that is chris martin from the music then shiver is quite a good track and the album has very good production values.
that being said, it is actually impossible to detach the insufferable cunt that is chris martin from this album. so rather than enjoy it you sit there fuming at how much of an insufferable cunt chris martin is and how he is somehow profitting from me having to listen to this album. what a cunt. even a mental new age hippy who sells twat candles that smell of her minge thinks he's a cunt, thats probably because he is an insufferable cunt. i'd be happy for this to be lower than lennon. yeah, you read that right.
62 likes
Throbbing Gristle
2/5
if someone tells you they are really in to throbbing gristle you've either accidentally walked in to a BDSM club or you're talking to someone who is such a music aficionado they've decided the way to keep themselves in their ivory tower is to listen to something extremely close to unlistenable because you proles don't get it.
that being said, i'd rather listen to this than kanye or beyonce.
what's the safe word again?
54 likes
Kanye West
1/5
That was like a checklist for all the things I hate in music.
Mainly the massive ego and all the talk about pussy and what he's gonna do to women.
Shit music and about as catchy as a Sunderland beach ball.
Didn't think there was a stand out track so it's not even a filler album.
Just utter rubbish.
I feel harsh on college dropout now because this is shitter and I gave that a 1.
51 likes
1-Star Albums (173)
All Ratings
Ghostface Killah
3/5
rap just isn't really for me.
i understand i'm supposed to love wu tang and all that is associated with it, but in all honesty it just doesn't do it for me.
Buena Vista Social Club
2/5
like cuban gypsy kings.
very much sounds like restaurant background music.
maybe that's its purpose and its really good at it.
John Lennon
1/5
The Byrds
2/5
fairly generic 60s band music.
there are no hidden gems in this one.
Dusty Springfield
2/5
do you like swooping strings?
well you're gonna love dusty springfield.
son of a preacher man - huge
windmills of your mind - big
+ lots of filler.
Electric Light Orchestra
2/5
fuck me they loved a high pitched vocal in the 70s.
dirge album, but i looked up the words for jungle.
nice story, 100 animals hanging around in a clearing in the jungle singing a song about how the earth is a spaceship circling the sun and joy to everyone on it.
Weed was so much better in the 70s.
Paul McCartney and Wings
2/5
thank fuck the beatles ended when they did.
imagine if they turned this shit.
there's already a window of the beatles being good, as in post drugs, if they'd carried on and turned into this then the window of them being good would become a smaller.
imagine a world where the beatles are like the who, or fleetwood mac where they're big but also churn out a load of shit.
The Slits
3/5
not bad, not amazing either.
good use of dub, not sure i'm fully on board with the main singer.
Spiritualized
4/5
more of a ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space kinda guy.
pretty good but its the archetypal you've got to be in the mood for it music.
David Bowie
2/5
i really am a bowie greatest hits kind of guy.
not in to this at all.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
4/5
the dude abides.
good album, teeter totters near the full whack for me, if it had a couple more of the big uns on it'd be up there.
Buddy Holly & The Crickets
2/5
the sound of a daytime shift in a shit pub in liverpool full of all the old timers not talking and staring into the middle distance.
alright for a couple of tracks and i respect it being trail blazing and new at the time but its not for me to listen to in these days.
Frank Sinatra
2/5
he did have a lovely voice.
not for me thought. not even the dodgy gangster connections could make him listenable.
N.W.A.
3/5
what is the obsession with rap artists talking about how big their dick is?
sounds alright but its just not aimed at me.
i have no frame of reference for what they're so annoyed about so it just doesn't really hit home like i imagine its supposed to and this album is clearly more about the message than it is the tunes.
i'm think Normans With Aggrievances would probably hit me harder.
M.I.A.
3/5
this is fun but its not as good or exciting as Arular.
its just a bit too polished.
Traffic
2/5
i don't think this album knows what it is so i don't know how i'm supposed to know what it is.
Radiohead
3/5
controversially as a radiohead fan this is one of my least favourite albums of theirs.
there are some huge tracks on it and it is their first steps into producing truly unique music, but i would much rather listen to any of the albums that came after it.
Talking Heads
3/5
just plods along being fairly inoffensive or captivating and then BANG.
suddenly one of the best songs ever written powers out. Psycho Killer really does save this album.
Morrissey
3/5
frustratingly not that bad to listen to.
if only he wasn't such a bell end.
like a huge bell end.
I've got some decent memories of this album due to being about the time i went to all the festivals and he was also at a lot of them probably crying about burgers.
Suicide
3/5
i've listened to this album a few times, it lulls you into a false sense of security by having a good A side but then it waxes your testicles and pisses in your ears on the B side.
the whole screaming thing is not made for headphones.
still, its the solid basis for a lot of the shit i listen to these days.
Pink Floyd
1/5
its amateur dramatics, shit musical theatre.
if i'm going to get my jazz hands out and get into some musical theatre its gonna be meatloaf for his name is robert paulson.
so in summary, this album is like regurgitated meatloaf.
George Michael
1/5
non of the fun of Wham and certainly none of the snappy snaps or cottaging fun.
The The
1/5
not what i expected.
with an ablum cover looking like scott letching on when he's had a line or two i was expecting some crazy ass shit, some mad music depicting a man with no soul on his gradual decline to the gutter.
instead its some of that shit that gives the 80s a bad name.
utter shite.
i bet this is on when michael gove hosts his swinger parties.
scott would go to one of those.
maybe the album cover is appropriate then.
Crowded House
1/5
so this is what the police would sound like if sting wasn't a geordie.
classic one hit wonder album.
at least i now know if someone recommended crowded house to me i could return the compliment by recommending they fuck off.
Sade
2/5
smooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooth
pretty inoffensive.
David Bowie
3/5
at risk of causing gammon nigel to boil himself for daring to diss a national treasure, i've always considered Duncan to be all about the singles and the albums full of filler.
this does not change my opinion.
strongest part of the album is the bits he didn't sing on.
sounds like i don't like bowie but i don't have no beef with him.
Bob Dylan
5/5
can't be arsed writing anything funny, this is one of my favourite albums.
Napalm Death
2/5
SCUM!
not nearly as bad as i expected.
Doves
4/5
actually forgot to listen to this, but its currently in the cd changer in the car.
yeah you heard me right, its a 6cd changer.
don't all get too jealous.
Teenage Fanclub
3/5
who knew this is what jeffrey epstein would make his music sound like.
nowhere near as noncey as the bandname suggests.
maybe if you play it backwards on a turntable it gives you an invitation to his noncing island.
Led Zeppelin
4/5
the best zeppelin album.
Randy Newman
2/5
keeping the nigels down.
you can't go singing about keeping the nigels down in these woke times even if you are doing a sacha baren cohen switcheroo thing.
nigels lives matter.
this is americas pale imitation of chas and dave.
Fugazi
4/5
not the best fugazi album, but infinitely better than most of the shit this list churns out.
Butthole Surfers
3/5
the first comment on youtube is this "My wife and kids not only hated it, they think I may have lost my mind. How do I tell them that this album touched my consciousness like a greasy finger dipped into a puddle - the oily rainbow slick instantly spreading accross the entire surface of my mind - altering, imbuing, opening. Perspective is the greatest gift we ever got."
fair enough - it wasn't quite a greasy finger up the bum like this guy had but i did enjoy it.
Elton John
1/5
to get really into the right frame of mind for this i selotaped some fruit to my glasses and some books to my shoes.
did some massive air piano.
that amzing vibe i'd built up took a nosedive once it hit the prince phillip reggae song and then i pretty much lost interest then as the pony kept repeating its trick for what seemed like a lifetime.
i bet drama kids love this album, loads of excuses for jazz hands and cheeky side glances.
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
2/5
what a weird juxtaposition this album is.
the music in the background is alright, some bits are quite enjoyable, but the singing grates.
for starters i can't really be arsed with neil youngs voice and then when they do that super 70s harmonised singing stuff it doubles the pain.
Turbonegro
4/5
better than i expected. can see where the hives got their idea from.
Deep Purple
2/5
cheddar. a big block of cheddar. i like cheddar, i don't like this album. 70s rock by numbers. cheesy in a bad way, like vegan cheese.
a 1 star rating is harsh as i sat through it without feeling existential dread, so it's getting a 2.
Lenny Kravitz
1/5
here's the most interesting sentences about this album on its wiki page - "Let Love Rule reached number 61 on the Billboard 200, while it peaked at number 56 on the UK Albums Chart. The album is also featured in the book 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die. " credit to him for the production, which is very good for 89, and that he played all the instruments but the songs are crap. i didn't get more than a minute out of many tracks.
Ice T
2/5
Ice T is a budget Ice Cube, but this isn't as shite as i expected. suffered from the disease that all rap albums have of the stupid skit things where they always talk about how big their dig is and how much poontang they get but i'll let that slide as even they weren't as bad as ones i've previously suffered.
Happy Mondays
5/5
i don't know if its nature or nurture, is it good or is it because i'm a manc and its the law that you like the mondays? i'm going with it actually being good as i'm usually the type that if i'm told i have to like something i probably won't as it'll be bland and beige and i fucking love this album. stereotypes exist for a reason.
Arctic Monkeys
4/5
this one is jam packed full of nostalgia. listening to this while i've got a bit of back pain is ramming home how old i actually am. though to be fair i definitely don't miss being 21 at all, my kidneys are hurting just thinking about it and its actually quite nice to be a bit pissed off 3 pints. anyway back to the album, memories aside, it has suffered from the same problem that most 2000s indie, take away the killer and the filler is really hard to listen to. there are some absolute timeless bangers on this album but the shit tracks give you a window into the self absorbed shitty nature of that indie movement. perfect for a pisshead student but must have been a cancerous bunch of people to anyone not involved in it. i hate young people. they're awful.
Led Zeppelin
2/5
i went through a zeppelin phase, i can't even remember where this album sits in the hierachy of led zep albums but its probably in the middle thanks to communication breakdown and good times bad times. it was a decent album to have on while i put fascia panels on the garage. every now and again when i could hear it i'd hear a snippet of a good tune and think, oh yeah zeppelin maaan, and the other times i'd hear something unremarkable and i'd just carry on hammering.
The Teardrop Explodes
2/5
that was well 80s wasn't it.
Yes
2/5
NO. that is my new default answer when someone tells me to listen to yes. this would have got a very solid 1 if it wasn't for the second track 'the clap'. that's some dope ass shit right there.
Pavement
2/5
that was ok. none of that is stuck in my memory. it's got a really good sound, the levels and tones of all the instruments and singing all work well, but there's a lack of any actual tunes. its like these and weezer started out at the same place and weezer decided to go with catchy hooklines and pavement went the opposite way to whatever this is. bit of a shame really, cultivate a nice thing and then not back it up with any substance.
Mott The Hoople
1/5
get well soon nige.
you haven't missed much. just a load of 70s bands doing 70s stuff. couldn't really handle this one.
Meat Loaf
3/5
hi name is robert paulson. cracking set of badongas. this is what all of that 70s crap we've had to endure is trying to do. unashamedly cheesey, it knows its not serious which makes it mildly enjoyable.
Air
5/5
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_psebBaOFM
that was my reaction to seeing this superb album.
Travis
2/5
Slower than I remember, which is Probably why it always rains on him, takes too long to get indoors.
And also Scotland. I feel harsh low ranking it cos it's not shite, I just didn't enjoy that trip down memory lane.
Stephen Stills
2/5
the first artist to come up that i have genuinely never heard of and know nothing about. how exciting - no preconceptions and no biases. it started off promisingly with some strong swamp rock, but fuck me did the wheels came off when the neil young vibe reared its head. fucking long slog after that.
Coldplay
1/5
if you can somehow detach the insufferable cunt that is chris martin from the music then shiver is quite a good track and the album has very good production values.
that being said, it is actually impossible to detach the insufferable cunt that is chris martin from this album. so rather than enjoy it you sit there fuming at how much of an insufferable cunt chris martin is and how he is somehow profitting from me having to listen to this album. what a cunt. even a mental new age hippy who sells twat candles that smell of her minge thinks he's a cunt, thats probably because he is an insufferable cunt. i'd be happy for this to be lower than lennon. yeah, you read that right.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
2/5
it all got a bit samey to the end of this. i really wanted to like it, but it just isn't grinderman. nigel, come back, i really want to know what you've got to say about this.
Bad Company
3/5
talk of premature ejaculation. this album shot its load with track 1. bang average after that. not offensive just a straight down the middle average. appropriate that we got this album on a wednesday because if the rating system was what day of the week is this album, it would be a wednesday.
Bill Evans Trio
2/5
nice. smooth. i always think one day i'll start listening to jazz, but at the moment i just don't understand whats going on. if someone could explain what i'm supposed to do with it that would be helpful. Alright background music.
Wilco
3/5
I'm sure there's a time and a place I'll enjoy that album. Yesterday wasn't it.
Beastie Boys
4/5
good that.
The Pogues
2/5
diddly dee done by the diddly dee masters.
19 songs is far too much diddly dee.
my tolerance to diddly dee is about 3 songs, at that point i look for a different pub.
Aretha Franklin
3/5
never loved a man the way that i love nigel.
good album this, couple of boring tracks but an enoyable listen.
Haircut 100
4/5
"They were first known as Rugby, then as the Boat Party, then as Captain Pennyworth, and lastly as Moving England, before finally becoming Haircut One Hundred. " usually when you find out what a band was previously called their old name was shit. i would be happy with all of their old band names, rugby is a bit shit but Boat Party is phenomenal. music wise, enjoyable - a bit too many tracks but some excellent bass. ocassionally it strayed away from club tropicana and got a bit close to copacabana but never went full manilow.
fuck it, i'm learning to 80s dance. gonna get some slacks, some boat shoes, a polo neck, put some old top of the pops on and study the moves.
The Triffids
1/5
fuck this. the best insult i can give this is that it must be the 80s version of snow patrol. if snow patrol turns up on this list it can fuck right off to the bottom of the chart.
The Rolling Stones
2/5
woo woo, woo woo, woo woo, woo woo,woo woo, woo woo, woo woo, woo woo,woo woo, woo woo, woo woo, woo woo,woo woo, woo woo, woo woo, woo woo.
that ones really good.
not so keen on noncey mick and his 15 year old. take the singles off and there are a couple of alright tracks, but stuff you'd expect from some no name, nothing to back up the reputation this album has that consitently gets it into top 100s of all time.
but yeah woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo is dead good.
Black Sabbath
5/5
yes please.
this is a band i would love to watch, sadly the later versions of sabbath are pretty awful so that just isn't going to happen.
Lou Reed
4/5
it was enjoyable, the singles are epic, not as good as velvet underground but still an enjoyable album. some weird songs on it, but they're still pleasant on the ear.
New Order
1/5
I like new order, they have some albums i really like, but this album is just utterly hillarious 1989 electro nonsense. this is what happens when the music teacher at school was late and the whole classroom is sat at a casio going mental with the most annoying sounds they can find. probably well ground breaking at the time, but in hindsight not the best bit of ground to be breaking.
Don McLean
3/5
some songs there from Don.
not offensive, probably not going to bother with that album again though.
Lauryn Hill
2/5
this album was highly recieved back in the day, probably because the world was awash with slow jamz and R'n'B was king of the world. so weird to hear her singing about love and being soppy knowing how much of an angry woman she is. its also worth noting that at the time this was viewed as a step forward for women in the urban music game - so in its own way this paved the way for WAP, thanks Laryn. i skipped about 50% of this album but there is the odd nice hip hop track hidden in between the 90s amy winehouse crap. loses points because of the new variation of the rap album skit, i'd rather hear her talking to her mates about how she is the master of shagging than kids talking about love.
Morrissey
2/5
fuck me, morrissey has 13 solo albums. must be about 8 good songs between them. i've justified that i'm allowed to still listen to the smiths because he wasn't the grade A cunt he is now then, he was more Grade C, a solid cunt but not quite fame hungry facist levels. i don't know where i sit with his solo stuff - it helps that its pretty average at best.
'i know its gonna happen someday' rescued this album from the ignomy of the 1 star bin.
Belle & Sebastian
3/5
nice innit. i want to do a joke about them hacking their way into the list but its here on merit over most the stuff i've had to endure.
Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
3/5
well more intersting than i was expecting.
maybe my first taste of beer garden since the invention of the injectable microchip has greased the wheels.
who knows what is real any more?
Joan Baez
3/5
super 60s this innit. you can positively smell the flower children. i'm sympathetic to fingerpicking acoustic guitar, there's a time and place for it, it's great background music.
Soft Cell
2/5
SEX DWARF. i had just about had enough of marcs out of tune wailing and this happened. the album really should have been a 40min edit of sex dwarf.
T. Rex
3/5
marc bolan would boycott the ESL. pretty sure that's what i got from all his lyrics.
Gene Clark
1/5
this is what i was most worried about on the list. cuntry music. i just can't get past it.
Fiona Apple
2/5
this is weird, it felt like it was nearly good. it teeter totters like its just about to be good and then crumples to the floor as a shit mess of wank pissed on by the curse of a female singer overcomplicating singing to show off her voice at the detriment of a good song. its like we don't let it slip, so close to glory and then stumbling to be just embarrassing. its shit, but it kept tricking me into thinking it might not be.
Pet Shop Boys
3/5
what a weird album to listen to 35 years after its release.
it has most of PSBs biggest hits and they all stand up pretty well despite being done in the cheesiest era for pop music.
Thats probably because you've heard them a million times and the stabby synths aren't as jarring.
the rest of the album is terrible dated stuff from that era. I can't imagine the synth crazy sounds of the late 80s/early 90s ever come back round.
The Undertones
4/5
very enjoyable. norn iron doing a good.
4/5
this is back when people would recognise them for their musical achievements and not because they finger cheese or bum afrika. does anyone remember the afrika express? damon getting on a train with a load of africans and making some music. like womad on wheels. it had a strong stink of someone who got accused of being racist so went big trying to show everyone how much they like black people. i think he stopped short of wearing a pendant in the shape of africa, but i wouldn't be surprised if he did. this albums better than afrika express. also better than i remember.
Neu!
3/5
i've listened to the 1972 album a few times and enjoyed it, don't know why i never thought to listen to the back catalogue.
on the whole pretty good. tracks 2 &3 should have been later in the album, you can't start an album with a good tempo hit us with a wall of slow downbeat and then just pick it up again.
crazy germans don't know shit about planning an album, where's my roller coaster of emotions?
Simon & Garfunkel
2/5
folk nonces. they're really good at what they do, it's technically pretty sound and well written. i just don't like it, also they're total folk nonces.
My Bloody Valentine
4/5
not as good as loveless, but then not a lot is. good one for a friday too.
Talking Heads
4/5
Well more into this than I was expecting.
The Young Rascals
2/5
There was a time in my life I'd have been all over this. That time is not now. I'm well down with the badly drawn album cover though. Some crazy arse action going on there. Makes me think of Vic and Bob.
Led Zeppelin
3/5
i mistakenly remembered this one as the worst of the bunch. its not. it was surprisingly enjoyable. not quite so much of that famous plant whines about babies.
The Monks
3/5
imagine my disappointment when i discovered this is not Monk the day time tv detective and his brother. that utter smashing of my hopes and dreams was rectified when i listened to it. this is some rad shit. this is where mooney suzuki got their vibe from. i'm sure there is some sort of righteousness attached to the name black monk time but it went straight over my head with all these mad jamz.
David Bowie
4/5
well, there it is, the good bowie album. only ever listened to him as a greatest hits kind of artist. i bet germay was shit in the 80s and that is what this album nicely conveys.
David Bowie
4/5
what a ride. this ablum is like forrest gumps box of chocolates (or paul mersons bag of Revels). you might get an absolute all time belter of a song, you might get a mime stuck in a phone box or you might get a song that didn't make it on to mary poppins. still throroughly enjoyable and it feels weird giving it a high score when there are songs on there that i would happily never hear again but the belters, well they're the reason everyone has such a hard on for Bowie.
John Grant
1/5
i've said it before but its worth repeating.
this is the type of wank that mark Chapman saved us from. if lennon had been left to his own devices and kept releasing music that wasn't filtered by the rest of the beatles this is what it would sound like. if this was the only music available in the world i would be melting out my eardrums right now. if the americans caught me and started to waterboard me this is the music that would make me crack. fuck me its bad. its really bad. like awful. to give it credit though its sent me on a roller coaster of emotions between hatred, confusion, sympathy, comedy and back to anger. if there was a 0 this cunt would be getting it. i'm fuming. nothing but sneks, its me and my baby from here on.
TLC
2/5
It's seems that as much as I try to find one, there just isn't a teenage girl hidden away inside of me. I don't have any anger against this album. I just don't like it.
Hugh Masekela
2/5
boop boop be doo de de de de booooooo boop de doo wah.
Black Sabbath
3/5
oooh yeeeeaaaaah is ozzys version of Robert Plants Baby baby baby. does it a lot, either that or its the lasting imprint of the album on me. fairly average album. pretty mad to think that this was the starting point for the madness that is modern metal.
The Style Council
3/5
fuck me, that rap track is epic. meandering along on a sea of cafe jazz waiting patiently for shout to the top to come on and then boom, a super 90s funk rap track that you just know had a keytar involved. would happily have taken an album full of that. extra star for that bad boy.
Ray Price
1/5
this is what old pubs in liverpool sound like in the daytime. this is turd.
The Verve
2/5
Fucking Wigan pie nonces. if it wasn't for 'this is music' then this album is knocking about in the colplay bin of meh.
Lou Reed
2/5
i never realised lou reed got affected by the terrible 70s amdram music bug that afflicted the best part of the decade.
this will not be getting listened to again.
Massive Attack
5/5
Superb.
Portishead
5/5
a masterpiece. easily in my top ten albums of all time i listen to this album as uch as any other album i can think of.
Japan
3/5
which came first the japan or the duran duran? i kept thinking i was listening to a duran album. so if japan came first it deserves respect, if duran came first it deserves derision. i've checked with my sources and japan came first. nuff respec. especially like their version of ATP.
Public Enemy
2/5
yeeaahhh boooiiiiiiiiiiii. its alright, its a bit samey. that first track is fucking nonsense.
The Stooges
3/5
can't decide if its better than raw power.
lost its way a bit towards the end, was a bit too stressful to work too.
Public Enemy
2/5
1 to 3 public enemy tracks is a good number 4-7 is pushing it, a full album and the enjoyment of public enemys MO is lost completely and you start thinking its shit. well in to the homemade low budget album cover.
The Pharcyde
4/5
Was very close to giving this a 5 but I haven't for round to the last few tracks. Never heard of them before but this is lit, or fire, or whatever kids say to hype shit up.
Leonard Cohen
2/5
couldn't really be arsed with this at all. i know people love to bum leonard cohen but on the basis of this album i don't get it. i like the australian noise that was on most of the songs though. twanging away like rolf harris down the primary school.
Hawkwind
3/5
fucking long. managed most of it. I can't decide if it would have been a gig i would have enjoyed. there's some pretty good stoner music behind all the space sounds, the wibbly wobbly noises and the shitty spoken word stuff. i reckon i would have been impressed by this performance but the spoken word shit would have proper cheesed me off.
not surprised sir lemmy fucked off to do his own thing, all this talk of space and hippy shit must have done his speed addled head in.
Tangerine Dream
3/5
so ambient. felt like i was in a sci fi film.
Julian Cope
3/5
better than i was expecting. don't think i knew what julian cope sounded like, i was expecting sparks (the band - not to fall in love with him).
i liked this.
Marilyn Manson
1/5
i really can't be arsed with this. the music is all about posturing and shouting "look at me i'm weird". really falls apart when it turns out brian is a bit rapey.
Queen Latifah
2/5
all of the genres. hip hop ,dance, dub, pop, comedy acting, serious acting, talk show host. there is no end to the skills of queenie. jack of all trades master of none, it was an alright album, probably not gonna listen to it again.
R.E.M.
2/5
Tortuous. Got those two pop songs on it though so it's not a 1.
Bauhaus
3/5
Pretty much passed me by. It was on while I was in the garden, I don't remember hating it, but I wasn't comfortable making the neighbours listen to it.
I did have sudden urges to do some south park goth dancing though.
LCD Soundsystem
5/5
What a beast.
The Flaming Lips
5/5
this album brings me intense happiness.
Fever Ray
3/5
made an alright soundtrack to my day. nothing really of note. it was ok.
Jorge Ben Jor
3/5
Queen
2/5
I don't really like queen so an album with none of their hits was only going to go one of two ways.
It's not gone well for Brian, Roger, Freddie and whoever the fuck the other guy is.
Bob Marley & The Wailers
3/5
there are better albums out there for a reggae bath. sadly this was a bit diappointing. i was hoping for something as full of bangers as kaya or exodus but it was a bit lacking.
Todd Rundgren
2/5
i now dread anything that this list throws up from the 70s. its always a combination of intense and drama school crap.
fantastic production - the mixing is great, but the music is just annoying.
Metallica
2/5
could it be? is it this one? was this the album to get me in to metal licker and modern metal?
not really. it was way less offensive than previous listens to them but it didn't really get my juices going.
all in all i think its pretty fuckin cheesy.
The Saints
3/5
pretty average punk, or PAP as it should be known.
didn't hate it so thats good.
Sisters Of Mercy
2/5
meh.
Bob Dylan
2/5
Two bangers. And that's about it.
TV On The Radio
4/5
a lot better than i was expecting. i will probably listen to this again.
The Lemonheads
2/5
well that was incredibly samey.
one track repeated loads of times until they hit us with their money maker.
Van Morrison
2/5
started off all happy and nice and then got boring pretty quickly.
bring back Lamb chops.
Wire
3/5
very standard 1977 punk.
hard to see that this band goes full new wave in 79 and starts producing much better music.
Sebadoh
4/5
the list has finally paid off!
finally, after all of the thes and 70s glam shite it has spewed out something i've never heard of and that i am bonafide enjoying listening to and will almost certainly listen to again and knowing how much of a sweat i am probably listen to the entire back catalogue.
bonus points for the last track being as long as the rest of the album.
i imagine this is what it must feel like for Gerry Mccain knowing full well he got away with it.
The Divine Comedy
3/5
its a good joke and there are some belters on here. however half of it confuses me, am i supposed ot be enjoying it ironically? should i be laughing? should i be enjoying it because i like swing and big band music? i don't know how i should appoach it, but it isn't obvious on its own.
however mega big points for writing an iconic comedy theme tune.
Sonic Youth
5/5
I could listen to the intro to teenage riot for probably a solid hour.
Bee Gees
1/5
every single track on it sounds like its from a soundtrack to a film about a little boy who lost his family and grew up round the back of the bins but has such a chipper spirit that he manages to find joy in the desolate waste ground he lives in.
come to think of it thats probably why its named after a ukranian city.
either way its shit and we should probably nuke the isle of man in retribution for forcing this on us.
Thundercat
3/5
i get it, he's talented and its got a vibe.
this just isn't for me.
Isaac Hayes
3/5
i haven't seen shaft, but i have seen black dynamite.
I spent most of the album randomly shouting 'Cream Corn you jiiiive motherfucker' and it fit with absolutely every track.
thats a good thing.
5/5
just as good as i remember.
I love how most of the tracks have a mad jam out ending when the drummer gets to shine.
the drumming on this whole album is immense, i can't think of many albums pre 70s that had drumming like this.
would have been excellent if they'd have made the film this was written for.
The Go-Betweens
1/5
Wet Wet Wet, but wetter.
struggled to keep awake for this prosaic dirge.
Television
2/5
all of the internet algorithms really want me to listen to this album. i see it all the time.
so this is the second time i've listened to it, and more than likely the last.
the more i get subjected to the 70s in this list the more my prejudices against anything produced in that era are going up.
it seems like anything good produced in that decade was made in spite of the 70s not because of them.
Marvin Gaye
2/5
Far too sexy for me.
Makes me feel uncomfortable.
Fuck knows what that says about me.
Belle & Sebastian
3/5
its some music isn't it.
its nice but fairly wishy washy, it just passes you by. there aren't really any emotions stirred up by this music.
it just happens and then when it stops you kind of just notice why its gone quiet instead of feeling sadness that the entrhalling music that has you so gripped has ended.
Funkadelic
3/5
Lunchmeataphobia
this is essentially one great track and then an album full of filler.
Doo Doo chasers.
definitely getting a higher score because of the track names and the homemade album cover that is trying to say something about the bermuda triangle.
Pet Shop Boys
2/5
fucking hell.
i bet this was sooo cutting edge back in the 90s.
its dated about as well as wacko jacko being allowed his own theme park.
fucking nonce.
John Lee Hooker
3/5
i couldn't be arsed with all the roadhouse blues stuff, its just cheesy, even if he was the guy that came up with it.
the slow blues towards the end, now some of that was excellent.
Radiohead
5/5
insert joke about benders here.
Oasis
5/5
well that was a lovely trip down memory lane.
i can completely understand why they got so big so quickly. this album is huge and they backed it up with the live shows and the swagger.
love em or hate em you have got to give this album its dues. it was fucking massive 30 years ago and it still stands up today.
on the subject of rip offs (of which there are many), to take something and make it so different is still impressive and as much as Noel is a closet tory cunt it desreves respect that all of these tracks are so undeniably oasis.
New Order
3/5
I never realised before this list how hit and miss new order can be.
I always thought I was a fan, but it turns out I'm a bit of a greatest hits kinda guy.
Anyway some good some turd. It's aged better than the super 90s stuff.
Depeche Mode
2/5
maybe brexit was right.
i'm clearly not european enough to appreciate Depeche Mode.
its all part of the tories plan to destroy the EU.
British people aren't allowed to live in europe and europe are making it a cunt for british bands to tour. what those 'unelected beurocrats' have failed to see is that by effectively banning Depeche Mode from playing in europe all of the EU will implode.
thats my understanding of how big Depeche Mode are in the EU.
Two massive singles on here surrounded by some utter garbage.
those europeans don't know shit.
John Coltrane
3/5
best jazz offering we've had on this list (sorry spazzjazz).
Frank Black
3/5
better than i expected, but there was far too much of it.
if it was cut down to 10 songs this would have been a really very good album, but instead my ears got a bit deaf to it after a while and i couldn't be arsed to pay any attention to it.
the very nature of a solo album from someone in a good band is more often than not a vanity project and it loses its way as they feel their self importance about how they have to explore their inner feelings goes into overdrive.
with no creative assistance they shit out a load of substandard stuff that to them is important and it ends up being recorded because no one told them it was a bit bobbins and that their efforts would be better used refining the good stuff.
shame, potentially this was really good but i'm a bit let down.
Boards of Canada
4/5
Excellent.
Sarah Vaughan
2/5
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcEKtVZ0XX4&t=3
this is all i could picture listening to this album.
The Doors
4/5
not their best, but still fucking excellent.
fIREHOSE
4/5
enjoyed that.
sounded a hell of a lot more modern that it is.
i listen to a fair amount of new crap that sounds like this album.
Nina Simone
3/5
if i didn't know she was playing the piano and singing together i'd have been a little underwhelmed with this album, but the mad piano skillz while singing is some seriously impressive stuff.
however, its not really my bag so i'd be surprised if i listen again.
Fishbone
3/5
bonin in the boneyard.
contender for best named track we've come across yet.
the ska bits are good too.
the rest of it is well confusing.
Frank Sinatra
2/5
its all very nice and all that, he's got a voice like butter and i get it that he's the best at big band stuff for a reason.
it just got a bit boring.
PJ Harvey
4/5
I liked the bits I listened to
The Doors
5/5
Again just one of those albums I listen to regularly.
Green Day
1/5
fuck me, this was so much worse than i expected.
the singles aren't even the worst bit and they're fucking awful.
i have no understanding of how this steaming pile of shite was so popular.
The Who
3/5
not as turd as i remember it being last time i listened to it.
its a huge self indulgent ego stroking project from townsend but the less said about townsends stroking habits the better.
speaking of nonces, not a big fan of listening to any song about noncing. only a nonce thinks a noncey uncle is an integral part to a rock opera.
reading the synopsis on wiki did make listening to it more understandable, though it is a plotline that holds up about as well as something from Hollyoaks.
Iron Maiden
3/5
teeter totters just on the right side of cheesey.
less comedy than most the maiden stuff i've heard.
its made me have the realisation that i'm slowly becoming the middle aged metal man in the pub.
I'm basically a pair of stonewashed jeans away.
Brian Eno
4/5
Good stuff.
Cyndi Lauper
2/5
Meh, listening to this while drunk doesn't really give a good representation.
However I was getting some strong B52s vibe and that's a good thing.
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
1/5
i really couldn't be arsed with this shit.
absolute tosh.
A Tribe Called Quest
4/5
pretty good. not really any standout tracks that you'd put on as for a quick hit.
if you want to listen to this then you basically need to put the whole album on.
MGMT
1/5
dog shit.
psych music is probably my most listened to genre so its nothing to do with genre, its because its just fucking shite.
i feel dirty classifying it as psych, its like an instagram version of being wavy. like some teenager wearing a tie die t shirt and saying 'far out maaaan'.
Curtis Mayfield
3/5
that was alright i suppose.
didn't really have a standout track and the chances of me ever wanting to listen to this album again are incredibly slim.
my opinion of curtis mayfield was higher than it is now i've listened to this album.
The Smiths
5/5
in the words of the super furry animals.
'Let's get juxtaposed, juxtaposed
Just suppose I juxtapose with you'
The smiths.
A band i love as much as any other band, but a band where the singer has shapeshifted in to one of the most loathsome people in the world.
i would usually dock points for cretinous lead singers and thats where my juxtaposition lies.
do i knobble the whole team for the sake of the star strikers cancerous view of the world or do i risk being a hypocrite and effectively turn into one of those people who loves wacko jackos music so just ignores his noncing?
Lets explore.
most other cretinous singers rose in their final form as a rancid turd you couldn't flush, but morrissey took the long road.
he isn't so much the rancid turd that won't flush he is more the accumulation of years of shite in an uncleaned bog bowl.
he is the sidewalls of the trainspotting toilet.
the rancid turd and the trainspotting bog are equally as putrid, i wouldn't want to lick either of them and just because one turned up fully formed and the other took time to create doesn't make either more palatable.
however, licking the bowl after a couple of years before the build up of shite began is a much more tasteful affair.
that couple of years pre shite buildup is the smiths.
i use this reasoning to justify my listening to the smiths.
its pretty much just after you are the quarry that he got really bad so anything post then will recieve the 'Bono Deduction'.
and seeing as how i mentioned wacko jacko earlier i suppose i have to clear that up too or risk sounding like i'm justifying noncing.
apparently 1986 was when he got into little boys (metaphorically and physically) so anything before that is fair game anything from the album bad or later is..... bad.
Leonard Cohen
3/5
good background music.
Common
3/5
Started off so we'll, but dived a bit after that and as someone who identifies as a white male some of theyrical content got a bit awkward.
LCD Soundsystem
5/5
beast.
picture this, its 2007 and there are retarded 20 year olds wearing neon clothing thinking that their piss poor nu-rave scene is a groundbreaking thing and then james murphy comes up with this timeless classic to show them that you can mix dance music and guitar bands without having to murder a 90s classic.
i'm looking at you the klaxxons. one of the worst bands to have ever existed.
The Beach Boys
3/5
some bangers, some filler.
Jimi Hendrix
4/5
I was always under the impressions that people thought are you experienced was his best album and i think that is a bit shit, so this is a pleasant surprise.
Soul II Soul
2/5
two absolute bangers.
but the rest is soooo slow.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
2/5
I've passionately hated every Neil young album that this list has given me, except for this one.
i only hate half of it.
the tracks with electric guitar are pretty good, but then you have to sift past all of the whiny country stuff thats just background music for red dead redemption.
The Specials
5/5
if the voting structure was out of 10 then most of my 5 star reviews would be 9s.
this however would be a big fat 10.
i fucking love this album almost as much as a SHACK loves lamb chops.
The Stooges
4/5
its worth its votes just for the 3 all time banger tunes.
it's also very good how their shit tracks are so aggressively shit that you admire them instead of hate them.
most bands filler tracks just fluff around and don't do anything. the stooges don't do that type of disappearing into the background.
Derek & The Dominos
2/5
there was an hour and a quarter of this shit.
we know Clapton is a massive bell end but that is some serious self love to release over an hour of you wanking off on your guitar just to get all the middle aged white blokes in stonewashed jeans to get a moist crotch from feeling like they know 'the blues'.
it takes a cunt of claptons proportions to take the blues and switch it from heartfelt songs of woe and turn it into an excuse to make everyone look at how good you are on the guitar.
that bit form goodfellas is good though.
Jeru The Damaja
3/5
adequate.
Curtis Mayfield
3/5
felt like this was on for a solid 7.5 hours.
Eurythmics
2/5
another gash album with two massive hits on, its a formula we've heard loads in this list.
its nice to hear the huge hits but grimacing through the rest of them is hard work.
I was all set to fuck this off and listen to something good but then i heard jennifer.
that lovely bit of dark synth work almost made the rest of the album worth listening to.
i say almost. it fucking didn't.
Tom Waits
3/5
equal parts weird and intriguing.
made me listen to another tom waits album so i must have liked it.
The Roots
2/5
i'm only here to write about the last track.
the rest of the album can fuck off back to its mid 2000s r'n'b nelly and kelly history bin.
that last track is a musical journey through my past nights out.
i have never heard a track before that i could just as easily have heard with all the trendy cunts in sankys, with crusties and punks at a warehouse rave, in a scallies kitchen, in a standard shit pub with a football team, in a hippies living room, in garlands or in the woods at glastonbury.
the only things in common with hearing this track at all these places would be that i would be absolutely fucked and it would be at least 4 in the morning.
how can such an aggressive track fill me with nothing but nostalgia?
my mind is blown.
however i can't give the album a high score because the rest of it was shite.
The Who
2/5
the concept of this is completely lost on me.
its just a load of fucking around. they must have thought they were so clever when they came up with whatever the concept is.
townsend sings way too much on this album.
there's a reason he isn't the lead singer, its because he's got a shite voice.
Screaming Trees
3/5
some of this was very good, some of it was a bit wet wet wet / savage garden.
Bob Marley & The Wailers
3/5
i know this is supposed to be bob marleys masterpiece album, but its just not as good as kaya.
some monster bangers on it, but just a bit lacking.
Pretenders
2/5
very underwhelming.
i was hoping for a whole album of chain gang and brass in pocket.
it is not that.
Aimee Mann
1/5
fucking dog shit.
Beatles
3/5
just not the best beatles album.
its got 4 belters and the rest is all very nice and that but just never a song i would actively choose to listen to.
they are however the highest quality filler songs you'll ever hear, they're undeniably the beatles, well written, perfomed and recorded, they're just meh.
clearly this is all before the beatles got intersting.
Buffalo Springfield
3/5
i had far more tolerance for this than i thought i would.
50/50 cuntry ballads and weird shit.
Van Morrison
2/5
No.
The Afghan Whigs
3/5
i feel like i should have liked this more than i did.
just got the feeling listening to this that dinosaur jr did it better.
Tom Waits
3/5
better than the other waits one.
fucking long though.
Radiohead
5/5
only marginally better than Our Kid Eh by the shirehorses.
a proper headphones album, i've put the CD on in the car (shove your spotify) and it really doesn't work in that situation, but with headphones on this is a masterpiece.
Laibach
3/5
JA, JA, JA, JA! GET ME A LIGHT BEER.
derbysieger.
pros;
1- one of the best album covers i've ever seen
2- that voice.
3- turning europop into a rally.
4- Yogoslavian avant garde.
cons;
1- you have to be in to medieval trumpets to get the most out of this album.
2 -realistically its a 3 track album and some fuck around arty shit.
from now on if anyone asks me what music i am in to it will be 'Nationalistic avante garde industrial music created by yugoslavian dissidents'.
Mekons
2/5
just not in to diddly dee punk.
as soon as the fiddle turns up i lose interest.
i used to play football for the bolton irish centre in the north of england celtic supporters tournament. after the football they would hire a function room and there would always be a fucking diddly dee band on and all these english people would sing along to these irish republican songs because they support a scottish football team that has something to do with ireland.
all a bit weird and has probably put me off it even more. i'd like to thank buckfast for getting me through that nonsense.
the americans seem to bum this kind of irish punk too.
fucking history nonces.
Bob Dylan
2/5
its just a bit guff.
its weirdly formulaic.
The Sugarcubes
2/5
Like a sub standard b-52s.
Also byorks singing is fucking annoying. Neil young levels of annoying.
The Only Ones
3/5
they must be pleased with the later life royalties coming form that big hit from these days.
none of the rest of the album really grabbed me but it wasn't terrible.
Morrissey
3/5
well that was annoyingly better than i was expecting it to be.
he is still a monstrous cunt and the shite on the trainspotting bowl.
I like how he clearly got a quitarist and told him to listen to johnny Marr and just play as close to his style as you can. like a smiths rip off band featuring the real morrissey.
CHIC
3/5
just one more thing, the whole worlds a circus, don't you be the clown.
another album with 3 beast tracks and then a load of filler. can never get above a 3 with that sort of half arsed approach.
Kelela
1/5
this is shit.
the singing never fit with the backing track.
every track was like she put on some music in the background and then just warbled around on top with no concern for what the track was doing.
Roni Size
4/5
good.
dead long, very out of place sat at my desk on a wednesday afternoon.
Peter Frampton
1/5
just fuck off.
70s shite and to top it off its LIVE.
crowds going woo through a completely unrecognisable song just somehow makes it worse.
its the least amount of an album i;ve managed to listen to for a long time.
Orange Juice
3/5
I really wanted this to be a masterpiece. It was alright. Might actually give it another go.
Santana
4/5
i hope spider dijon was on bongos for this album.
i enjoyed this more than i was expecting.
Queen
1/5
not even queen killer could save this shite.
Who knew photoshop existed in 1974, the glistening hunks on the cover of this album look nothing like the disfigured beasts that are in queen.
Elbow
3/5
its just a bit meh.
its got some big tracks on it, but then its got some drivel so it just averages out at the mean.
saw them at a festival around the time this was out and they were pretty epic, though thats probably cos it was the sundown set and they had some sort of string quartet.
Mudhoney
2/5
got all the stuff i should like in an album.
didn't like it.
The Sabres Of Paradise
2/5
i was fuming about this album because it doesn't do anything so i went to look at the electronic albums released in 1994 to see why this was the one chosen.
it turns out once you skip past portishead- Dummy, prodigy - music for the jilted, massive attack - protection and orbital - dubnobass that 1994 was the year that electronic music was basically all eno inspired ambient chill out stuff.
who fucking knew that?
good dub track in the middle, wilmot. the rest was all just a load of nothing.
Leonard Cohen
2/5
it was alright i suppose.
nothing special.
Keith Jarrett
3/5
got pretty intense in the middle.
the guy has some mad stamina.
Joy Division
4/5
if i could give a 4.5 this would be it.
John Mayall & The Bluesbreakers
1/5
men in stonewashed jeans at a pub jam night.
played by talented musicians but bland and having the impressive ability of sucking all of the soul out of the blues and turning it into an egotistical self important thing.
its painting by numbers.
its probably the whitest version of the blues i've ever had to listen to.
utter dross.
Muddy Waters
3/5
now this is blues.
clapton can fuck off.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
2/5
felt like it went on forever and that's not a compliment.
Everything But The Girl
1/5
awful.
I'd rather see dave lee travis play macbeth.
Björk
2/5
love the 90s dance vibes when they turned up, but she's fucking annoying isn't she.
Air
3/5
passed me by this one. soundtrack albums are often lacking without the imagery that goes with it.
you can tell its conjuring up an atmosphere or a feeling but without the images its a bit lost.
Tricky
4/5
its good, but it's lacking something. you can't help but feel the input of 3D and Daddy-G would have made this an absolute belter of an album.
Dexys Midnight Runners
2/5
was not in to this.
Jane's Addiction
4/5
this is a better album than i expected from a one hit wonder.
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
2/5
american girl is a tune, especially a fan of the heavy breathing on the breakdown.
the rest of the album is just a bit wet though.
Miles Davis
2/5
is this the jazz record that gets me in to jazz?
nah.
The Avalanches
3/5
Some of this was funkier than I remember.
The Who
3/5
It's a legal matter baby.
I want to keep doing the dirty things I do.
Someone should check his search history.
Oh.
Best offer from th'oo yet.
The Incredible String Band
1/5
i like the dark as dark as can be.
metal lyrics on the least metal music ever.
that said listening this was so much more stressful than listening to metal music.
so much out of tune singing.
Garbage
4/5
i forgot how many bangers garbage have.
very strong album that.
Parliament
3/5
i want to say this is another example of an album that has 2-3 good tracks and a load of filler on it, but the funk genre is whats confusing me.
is 'give up the funk' a shining example of how good funk can be or is it the pop track that isn't really a good representation of funk?
is this album one funk masterpiece and a load of filler or is it a stone cold amazing funk album with a pop track on it?
either way this album makes me feel like a jellyfish.
Otis Redding
4/5
solid.
10cc
2/5
the version i listened to must have been remastered, it was excellent sound quality and mixing.
shame the music was shite.
i have no understanding how something that sounds like this could come from stockport.
Kanye West
1/5
skits, fucking skits.
with my customary reduction of a star for skits this thing should be sat on 0 stars.
i was hoping this would be so much better than it is considering it birthed a monster fame hungry dick head.
its so dated.
go on this link, this is what this album sounds like.
https://www.becomegorgeous.com/fashion-style/celebrity_style/what-we-wore-10-years-ago-A13359
Kanye West
1/5
That was like a checklist for all the things I hate in music.
Mainly the massive ego and all the talk about pussy and what he's gonna do to women.
Shit music and about as catchy as a Sunderland beach ball.
Didn't think there was a stand out track so it's not even a filler album.
Just utter rubbish.
I feel harsh on college dropout now because this is shitter and I gave that a 1.
Cypress Hill
3/5
really angry until they took to the mary jane, the old wacky baccy, da 'erb, reefer, the doobies.
once that happened the album was a lot less about killing people and hating on pigs and just better in general.
The Rolling Stones
3/5
much better than beggars banquet.
couple of bangers, then some fairly decent filler.
barring the massive hits if you were to play me this album again i would think i'd never heard it before, but it wasn't unpleasant.
i quite liked the track at the end where Mick did a shit impression of Jim Morrison. would have been a standout track if mick wasn't waffling repetetive generic sex related stuff over the top.
Ravi Shankar
4/5
this was gonna go one of two ways, and luckily for me it was good.
turns out i am still a dirty, smelly, hairy hippy deep down.
Manu Chao
3/5
bongo bong is massive, but i reckon this just about gets by without being an album of filler.
its a teeny bit repetetive, if anything removing the bongo bong would make the album better.
a bit like how taking stevie me out of the liverpool team made them a better team.
Everything But The Girl
3/5
nowhere near as terrible as the last album.
nice beats but she's got a fucking annoying voice.
at least i didn't have to listen to that fucking awful song about sitting on the bonnet of a car.
Madonna
1/5
wow, this was so much worse than i expected.
classic one hit and a shit load of filler album.
the problem is the quality of the filler is piss poor.
its like a disney soundtrack for a film about an OAP stuck in the body of a teenager that by some cruel twist ages in a way that will result in a teenager stuck in the body of an OAP.
the film is called the chronicles of madge.
its a straight to video monstrosity.
Big Star
1/5
some generic 70s crap with the high pitched voices.
i could barely listen to this through the first time, i think its safe to say there won't be a second.
Genesis
2/5
started off horrifically, then behaved like it was going to be good before nosediving at the end.
can't decide if it was utter crap or just middling.
it belongs in the lower middle crap field.
Yes
1/5
medieval nonces.
yes doing mashups of folk, chamber music and soft rock.
Kraftwerk
4/5
gutted i didn't have to get on a train today as this is train music.
Nico
2/5
i really like the velvet underground. The worst bit about velvet underground is usually nicos bits.
so taking all of what the velvet underground has and removing it to be just nico leaves you with this.
its just some 60s waffling. there's ocassionally some good music in the background so hats off to john cale but her voice is well annoying.
Bert Jansch
3/5
some of that was brilliant.
some of it not so.
Sly & The Family Stone
4/5
Pretty good.
I was expecting it to make me feel like the whitest man alive, but it didn't.
So either I'm woke or I'm turning black.
I really really really hope I'm not woke.
Siouxsie And The Banshees
3/5
Alright I suppose.
Worst Beatles cover version I've ever heard.
808 State
4/5
Better than I expected, doesn't fall into the massive hit and filler trap as the whole album is definitely a piece of work as opposed to some mashed up half ideas.
I'd almost go as far as to say it's worth a listen even if you took Pacific state off it.
Talking Heads
4/5
Very solid.
Aerosmith
2/5
very disappointed that this wasn't a concept album about farts.
its just a generic aerosmith album, there is no distinction between songs the whole thing is just one long track and its a bit guff.
come to think of it, maybe it was a concept album about farts.
Supergrass
4/5
odd one, there are 5 of supergrass' best tracks on here. richard III, late in the day, sun hits the sky, going out and its not me, but the filler is just a bit too shit.
in true Alan Partridge fashion i would rather listen to the greatest hits album, i'd never put this album on to bask in this creative body of work.
weird i'd consider myself a supergrass fan but this is probably their best album and i'd rather listen to the singles. same sort of thing with new order.
stilll gets a decent score though cos those 5 tracks as a 5 track EP would get a decent score.
The Smashing Pumpkins
2/5
never gave the smashing pumpkins the time of day, probably because the singles that were big are fucking wet and i'm pretty sure the singer is some sort of weird nonce.
there's a healthy amount of fuzz going on which is nice, but the over arching feeling is that this is fanny music and the more i listen to it the more i think he's a creepy nonce.
weird cos its got all the elements to be great but i got bored of it and i can't stress how much i don't like his noncy wailing.
fucking atrocious name too.
Dolly Parton
3/5
i was expecting a full album of rootin tootin cowboy boots and my daddy left when i was 4 type nonsense but i was pleasantly surprised.
about half of this was actually listenable.
who knew Dolly Parton started life off as a young boy?
Red Hot Chili Peppers
1/5
this is turd.
so turd that i was relieved when give it away came on, which is the opposite of what i'd usually feel.
The Gun Club
3/5
alright, pretty rad for the 80s.
Carole King
2/5
fuck the 70s.
maybe it was all good at the time, but this just sounds like x factor auditions.
every song i was trying to work out what the sob story was for that particular contestant.
were they touched by an uncle? did they live with the ghost of michael jackson? did they get a ken doll stuck up their arse?
there's a good chance all of those 3 scenarios are the connected but you get the drift.
does radio 2 still play this kind of shit or have they fully moved on to cater for anyone too old for radio 1?
Madonna
3/5
which musical incarnation of Madge do we have today? Ah, its the edgy 90s dance music influenced madge.
this is probably the best version of her.
if you were to give all of the albums on this list a rank from 1 to 1001 this would probably scrape into the top 400.
weird underhand compliment but i think i'm trying to say is i enjoyed about 50% of this album.
i'm really not looking forward to the Ali G era Madge.
Run-D.M.C.
3/5
some great use of an 808.
bit meh though. some belting big tracks but the filler has huge vibes of teenage kids in school with the casio keyboard.
R-R-R-R-R-R-R-REMIX
Fred Neil
5/5
this is the bag i'm in.
best album i've never heard of that's come up on this list.
Anton newcombe has listened to this album a lot of times.
Nirvana
4/5
I couldn't handle listening to smells like teen spirit. Ironically it would have killed off any remaining teen spirit I have left.
You know who lives off teen spirit?
Yeah, SHACK does.
That and lamb chops.
Dizzee Rascal
5/5
It says a lot about how good this album is that it managed to break into my indie centric world back when it was released. It got more play than a lot of the music that is now known as landfill indie, which is a disingenuous name as every genre has forgettable music that doesn't stand the test of time.
Anyway, yeah this album stands the test of time.
It's just mental.
Blur
3/5
I'm a cockney, I'm a cockney, apples and pears, cor blimey, I'm a cockney.
We've got cockney albarn on this one, it's an early version that eventually evolves into wagwan albarn, which is a far funnier character.
I need to write a standard copy paste for when an album has some belting singles and then a load of shite.
This is very much one of those.
6 good tracks out of 16 makes it hard to give it a high score and i wouldn't ever bother listening to this album again.
Echo And The Bunnymen
4/5
killing moon really is a huge tune.
the rest of the album was decent too, which is a nice change from the usual fare offered up by albums with an absolute massive banger on them.
5/5
this is when the beatles got good.
much better than i remembered, pretty sure i overplayed this when i was a wee nipper so i'd kind of fell out with it, but hearing it again now was pretty bloody good.
i feel like i need to be critical of it, probably due to never choosing to listen to it any more, but i can't really pick any holes in it.
its one of those weird ones where its in the 9/10 camp so i feel odd giving it a 5, but a 4 doesn't really do it justice.
1/5
whats the difference between jesus and Bonio?
Jesus doesn't think he's Bonio.
musically this is actually fairly enjoyable but its dominated by the wailings of one of the biggest cunts going.
an instrumental version of this album would be pretty good, but as it is its really diffuicult to get past the noises coming out of the egotistical, narcissistic self anointed uber cunt.
i used to think the hedge was a cunt too, but i've got a bit more respect for his playing now i've endured an albums worth of Bonio.
AC/DC
3/5
it says AC/DC, so thats exactly what you get.
can't really complain, they do being AC/DC very well and its a tried and tested thing.
i can take the odd track here and there, but a whole album is a bit much for me.
love the schoolboy thing because i don't understand it. i don't want to know the reason because i like it as a weird surrealist gesture from an otherwise run of the mill looking rock band.
Herbie Hancock
3/5
up there for album covers.
good depiction of what happens to your head if you try to understand what is going on with this album.
Earth, Wind & Fire
2/5
whatever. way too much high pitched nonsense.
Crosby, Stills & Nash
3/5
Despite loathing Neil youngs singing Marrakesh express is one of my all time favourite bangers so it's already getting better than his customary 1 star and amazingly there were some songs that didn't have the trademark high pitched singing and they were really good.
I know it's his USP but its fucking annoying.
This album has now reduced the level of dread I get when I have to listen to an album with young on it.
Taylor Swift
1/5
This is pretty much everything I dislike about chart music and there was very little that could salvage it.
Also everything I've ever seen of her when she's not singing is that she's a bit of a cunt.
Shit music sung by a cunt, looks like a one way trip to one star-ville.
Jethro Tull
2/5
Sitting on a park bench
Eyeing little girls with bad intent
Snot running down his nose
Greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes
i thought this was gonna be an album about SHACK.
it turns out its actually about homeless people along the thames embankment.
Which makes it all the more laughable that i thought it was about SHACK because homeless people along the thames embankment is the main substance that forms SHACKs diet.
fuck me it goes on a bit.
Funkadelic
5/5
love a bit of maggot brain.
its got everything, john squire-esque solos, hendrix like tracks, soul train style soul, sleaze, keyboard led prog style tracks and super low barry white bass singing.
this is the funk album that all the others should be compared to.
Ian Dury
3/5
arseholes bastards fucking cunts and pricks.
my kind of lyrics.
started a bit slow and a bit too knees up mother brown, but the second half picked up speed and was pretty bloody good.
all of it was better than the album i accidentally started to listen to where robbie cunting williams was doing a cover version.
Fugees
5/5
this was my go to album in secondary school when it was the in thing for everyone to listen to rap music.
i got the reverend to put it on once on a long car journey and it was at that point that i realised the levels of choice language in it. the outro did not go down well.
this is a hell of a lot better than i remember it being.
Richard Thompson
2/5
folk off!
ha ha, did you see what i did there.
there's a folk night in every town in the country specifically for all the chunky knitwear wearing, lentil eating 60 year old bearded men with mad guitar skills that have a hard on for songs about how shit life was before electricity.
if for some reason i want to feel the pain of someone who's job it was to sift effluence to feed their family of 14 in song format then i'll just seek out one of those pubs.
history nonces.
Missy Elliott
2/5
this was incredibly disappointing.
40% waffling on about some old shit, 40% R'n'B bollocks and 20% work it.
Dire Straits
2/5
sultans of swing is massive.
then its just a load of album.
nothing to tell anyone about, its just some stuff.
Simple Minds
2/5
i have no idea why this album is dressed up as a bible.
2 good tracks and a load of filler - just read one of the other ones about this format of album.
strong 80s vibe, just doesn't really do anything with it.
Paul Simon
3/5
some white bloke reggae that was actually alright.
i was totally expecting some simon and garfunkle folk noncing but this was way more upbeat.
a pleasant surprise.
Muddy Waters
2/5
as much of a cunt as it makes me sound, i prefer his earlier stuff.
this is all a bit polished and formulaic - yes i know the blues by its very nature is formulaic - but this is that type of blues that i slag off clapton for where its lost its soul.
Hole
4/5
shame i never really listened to hole much earlier than this as the whole way through i was thinking about courtney love smothering alan partridge in chocolate mousse.
some good some bad. its better than a 1 hit wonder album so that deserves commendation because they do have one mega hit and not much else.
the album is 80% listenable on its own merit.
Mousse from a bowl is very nice, but to put it on a person is demented.
The Auteurs
3/5
this is what indie used to mean before lad bands.
probably wouldn't have seen a load of portly mid 30s weller men standing like penguins with their feet at ten to two at one of their gigs.
probably would have just been a bit miserable.
not a bad album, consistent level throughout, just a little bit wet.
Jamiroquai
3/5
Astronaut looking at earth with gun to his head meme.
It was jamiroquai all along.
Jamiroquai were pretty much the first band I got in to when I was about 11 or some other pre pubescent meaningless age. So in all this time asking who is going to ease me into jazz I had already worked that one out before my balls had dropped.
All sounds extremely noncey this write up.
Maybe that's the influence of Jay Kay.
Ramones
4/5
it is what it is innit.
so distinctively the ramones that at times that translates to it being particularly samey.
nice remasters though.
Soundgarden
3/5
whelmed.
not under, not over. just flat out whelmed.
veers a bit close to the one hit wonder album, but it's an ok album if you removed the hit.
just ok.
FKA twigs
2/5
i've tried this album before, it's not really gone down any better this time round.
its a bit wacky innit.
The Prodigy
5/5
this used to be my preffered album to listen to when i came home too wired to go straight to bed.
i am now old and that no longer happens.
Frank Ocean
2/5
pitchfork wet dreams.
they absoluetly bum this album.
this is the 3rd time i've tried to listen to this album and its still just an r'n'b album albeit alternative style.
the best bit was hearing the original playstation power up sounds on the first track.
also john is the shittest beatle.
Lambchop
2/5
SHACK.
I want to give it 5 stars for the lamby goodness, but I just can't.
Amy Winehouse
5/5
i worked in hmv as a christmas temp while this was a new album.
it was played every hour.
despite suffering the type of forced overplaying that would usually make me pierce my eardrums with knitting needles this album is just really fucking good.
one of the other albums forced upon me was a buble christmas one and some killers album that hmv had a million copies of that no one wanted to buy so it 100% isn't stockholm syndrome.
mark ronson is a nuclear grade cunt though.
Miles Davis
5/5
This album cover must be where Wilf Zaha got his famous pained expression from.
the one that says, i'm hurt and innocent and i can't believe someone would do that to me because i'm a saint.
the album is more berbatov than wilf zaha.
smooth, a bit weird and smoking a cigarello.
just like berbatov i like this album more than zaha
Aphex Twin
4/5
fair enough - great background music for working.
Miles Davis
1/5
two days after having a miles davis album that was excellent we've decended back into some incomprehensible madness.
feels like i've accidentally taken some sort of hallucinogenic.
The Verve
2/5
so slow and mawkish.
crawls along like a wounded animal with a broken leg, except a wounded animal probably wouldn't whine as much.
honestly don't understand why this albums gets bummed as much as it does.
what is it for? are you supposed to be moved by the beat? cry about the sad subjects? whine along? does it make you feel cool? do you marvel in the musicianship? is it for slitting your wrists?
what is it for?
musically this should be good, with the wall of sound thing with mountains of reverb and guitar noises but barring about 5 minutes this album bored the slimy green shit out of me, its just pseudo cool depressing bollocks.
the worst bit about verve is it feels like lets have a look at what you could have won - the track this is music off the previous album is superb and if they could have gone down that road they would have written a brilliant album, but instead they went down the lowest common denominator depressing emo sell records to the masses road instead.
so instead of being legendary the verve sit in the same boat as starsailor and embrace, in fact i put starsailor on after this to see if that was a fair comparison and i enjoyed starsailor more than this.
Thin Lizzy
2/5
Hello *checks notes* Springfield!
who here hates *checks notes* Shelbyville?
live albums aren't for casuals, you only listen to live albums if you've already commited to liking the band.
however hats off to phil for this line:
is there anyone here with any irish in them? wooo!
are there any girls here who'd like a little more irish in them? woo!
Dr. Dre
2/5
Chronically turd.
Snoop doggy dog eats more lamb chops than SHACK.
Milton Nascimento
1/5
forgettable.
Cat Stevens
3/5
couple of bangers, the rest is a bit folk noncey.
pleasant but nowhere near as fun as fat pete and his chubby happy little face.
the cheeky scamp.
The B-52's
5/5
what's not to love about this album?
SZA
3/5
meh, not my bag at all but fairly acceptable.
its nice to see banging on about your genitals isn't just a male rapper thing.
The Yardbirds
4/5
there was a time in my life i would have been all over this.
Iggy Pop
5/5
what you gonna have as your album cover iggy?
just a photo of me grinning like he cheshire cat.
Lana Del Rey
1/5
absolutely no.
how the fuck is this anywhere near this list?
what does it have to offer that is unique, genre defining, innovative or spellbinding?
nothing, thats what.
if zeros were an option.
Bob Dylan
3/5
couple of belters some alright filler.
just another one of those ones.
Nirvana
5/5
this is the most dave grohl that i've put up with for a long time. he used to be such a nice boy.
for some reason i've never listened to this album before.
what a pleasant surprise.
live albums are usually a bit shit, probably because a lot of the time its the band being their most polished and showy which is probably why this sounds so good, its not that.
Pixies
5/5
strong album.
R.E.M.
4/5
never actually realised REM were anything other than stadium sized shiny happy people crap.
decent album.
Roxy Music
2/5
i really wanted to like this.
i didn't.
Antony and the Johnsons
1/5
he's got such an annoying voice.
i didn't get it the first time round and i still don't get it now.
nice music but gets ruined by him warbling over the top.
Lightning Bolt
4/5
What a pleasant assault on the ears.
I'd love to see these live just to watch the drummer.
very tempted to give this a 5 but I think that might be a bit much.
4/5
dunno if i'm a man or devo any more.
Def Leppard
1/5
I feel let down for Sheffield that these are from there. They've got a nice back catalogue of bands and then this tripe which is arguably the biggest band from the city.
the most interesting thing abou def leppard is the one armed drummer, crashed his corvette on snake pass and lost an arm.
i'd be impressed by that as a cool story but he did it overtaking so a bit of a dick move really.
Penguin Cafe Orchestra
5/5
superb album cover.
perfectly apt too, i've never heard the penguin cafe before but i saw the album cover and knew what i was getting, some oddness.
fucking brilliant eccentric shit.
how many kids that Bono has nonced do you reckon the pope has made disappear?
he's a fucking whopper of a nonce.
James Brown
3/5
I saw James brown live at Glastonbury when he was allegedly 80 odd, but in reality he was probably 100.
Was underwhelming as he didn't do much other than shout James brown while everyone else did the work.
This album surprised me because he actually sings on it.
My Bloody Valentine
5/5
Like a warm cuddly cocoon.
Climb in and bath in the beautiful sounds.
Sheer genius.
Various Artists
4/5
So the ronettes and the crystals sing the tunes but for some reason Phil Spector claims it for himself.
I'm going to rate this on the strength of the album and caveat that creepy, incesty, noncey killer Phil gets no praise for this.
He didn't write the songs and he didn't sing them so he can fuck off.
Steely Dan
2/5
Musical beige.
1/5
If yes is the answer then the question is
'would you like to never have to listen to yes again?'
Fucking tosh.
Fleetwood Mac
5/5
I am on board with the hype train.
It's unusual that I agree with the masses but this album sits in my top ten.
3/5
If it was released between 77-80 it would have been more interesting, but it wasn't so it's just some generic punk by numbers.
Not bad to listen to, just uninteresting.
Sonic Youth
5/5
It's very good, not as good as daydream nation, but that's a pretty high bar.
2/5
didn't even bother but we've had that much dylan and i've heard him mumbling through live renditions before so i can guess what its like.
Robert Wyatt
2/5
i was initially going down the line of my standard check out this 70s nonce singing falsetto.
but to give it some credit this is clearly some mad jazz shit and not just standard 70s wank.
Franz Ferdinand
4/5
better than i was expecting.
nothing from this era has stood up that well because there was so much paint by numbers in the indie world, however theres some actual content on here.
in fact i'll go medium on it, if any of these tracks came on in a random shuffle i wouldn't skip it.
i wouldn't have been able to hear it in 2004 but you can very much hear the influences, in the same way you can with oasis.
Jurassic 5
2/5
i should like this more than i do.
its actual hip hop, its rappers with really listenable flow and its not about bitches and hos.
its just a bit cheddar.
i don't get how this will play out for the list - the self titled album and quality control are both far superior to this cheesy crap so i'd expect them both to be on the list.
if this is on the list over the self titled then that would be straight up mental.
The Velvet Underground
4/5
Pretty much the genesis of a lot of the music i listen to but it is by no means a stellar album.
for starters you can write off the last ten minutes of it, i'm all for a jam out but its not very listenable.
and then we get to nico and her fucking irritating voice.
i can tolerate her singing on femme fatale, probably because its a huge tune and weirdly her retarded singing actually adds to it.
I can only just manage to listen to ATP all the way through, which is a shame because its a great song beneath the caterwauling, thankfully there are decent cover versions out there.
anything else where she does that weird anglo german accent just gets skipped.
but the bottom line is the other tunes are such bangers that it would be madness to give it a mid score.
Joni Mitchell
2/5
this sounds ahead of its time, it sounds very 80s.
however its a bit meh.
I like the bit on the album cover where her arm looks a bit like a cock. it like when scott wears shorts and his cock tattoo hangs out for all to see.
The Flying Burrito Brothers
1/5
ah man, i'm just so let down.
top ten name- check
pussy wagon style logo - check
superfly album get up - check
sick album name - check
music that isn't shit - big fat red X
its just such a waste. why does it have to be cuntry music.
i got so excited when i saw this masterpiece album cover.
Suede
2/5
dross.
animal nitrate is good the rest of this is gash.
The Cure
3/5
didn't want to waste it by half arse listening on a saturday so saved it for a proper listen.
weird feelings have occured, its enjoyable, but its too long.
45 minues of this would have been grand.
Incubus
2/5
many people used to try to get me in to incubus back in the day.
didn't get it back then.
not much has changed, but i did discover they have a weird funk hip hop crossover track with one of the worst names i've ever seen - battlestar scralatchica.
you can feel how cool they thought they were when they came up with that piss poor very difficult to pronounce play on words.
however its the most interesting thing on the album because its just so out of place.
my conclusion is that incubus are limp bizkit for girls.
5/5
memory music.
absolutely dripping in nostalgia and reminiscence.
particularly with the ever degrading state of the world we live in its quite nice to look back on happier times.
its mad how it outsold definitely maybe by 100% in the uk, its nowhere near as good as that album.
it'd be nice to see oasis play again, but we aren't gonna get it thanks to noels rancid ego.
he's a smarmy cunt and his solo stuff is beyond shite.
Circle Jerks
3/5
thats one for the search history.
zuckerbot is gonna be pushing me all sorts of funky adverts now it knows i searched for this.
blink and you've missed it.
to be fair that was about as much of it as was needed and that deserves some credit.
The Stooges
4/5
i feel like i've cheated with this album.
on the youtubes there is a version called the 'Bowie mix' where the mix has been cleaned up and it is so much nicer to listen to than the original version i've got on cd.
gonna rate it from this nice mix. yeah i know this version isn't quite as RAW or POWERFUL but what you gonna do?
if you didn't enjoy the original i highly recommend this remaster.
The Smashing Pumpkins
3/5
not as bad as i was expecting considering i don't like billys noncey voice but 2 hours.
fucking hell have a word.
Steely Dan
2/5
got the 70s singing thing going on.
kind of interesting at times, but generally its just that 70s high pitched thing that has the same effect on me as touching a filling with something metal.
Solange
2/5
a couple of interestig tracks.
generally can't be arsed with r'n'b though and although alternative, it's still just a person with a very good voice singing stuff about sexy times and feelings.
still shits over anything produced by the more famous sister though.
Talking Heads
5/5
dead good.
Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five
2/5
word.
imagine the scenario, you hear the track 'the message' and understandably you're blown away. its mega.
so you're like surely the guys that wrote this must have a whole back cataolgue of this magic stuff.
no way, there's an album named after that monster track.
buy the record, put it on and spend the next half hour wondering how they came up with the message and why they couldn't create anything else half as good as it.
its like buying a pack of fruit gums and there's only one red one in the pack.
ordering a peperoni pizza and it just has one slice of peperoni on it.
like turning on the telly to watch some football but only liverpool are playing.
Simon & Garfunkel
2/5
genuinely thought that Cecilia was a Suggs original. never had a reason to think it was a cover.
which brings me to the conclusion that yeah they do write a very good song.
the problem is that their versions of the song are a bit shit.
get someone else to do it.
I'd genuinely rather listen to Suggs do a cod reggae version.
Faith No More
2/5
its alright i suppose.
probably never going to listen to this album ever again as i'm neither mainland european or dave.
Run-D.M.C.
2/5
it just feels so basic.
about as complex as a wayne rooney teamtalk.
Eric Clapton
1/5
well you could knock me down with a feather.
this isn't just another generic eric clapton does the blues. there is something a bit more to this.
still he's a massive cunt and i can't be arsed with him or his music.
at least he tried.
The Velvet Underground
5/5
What an album.
Outstanding.
Jefferson Airplane
4/5
Plastic Fantastic Lover, I bet SHACKs got some of those.
there's a few massive tracks on here so they've done well to keep out of the standard 2 track filler format.
there's obviously some nonsense as you'd rightly expect from some wreck heads calling an album surrealist pillow but on the whole its mostly listenable.
Elastica
4/5
fairly good, probably dated better than most of the non oasis/blur/pulp britpop scene stuff like carter the unbearable sex machine and menswear.
it's a shame that the only legacy i can think of for the 3 women with a bloke on drums is The Corrs.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
3/5
serious music for serious people.
It's very good at what it does.
what it does isn't what i does.
Boston
2/5
I have been replaced by Cheese.
i have babybell balls and a cheesestring penis.
my arse is now two full wheels of edam, my toes are wotsits, my face is like a punched brie and my knob cheese is now a refined delicacy
this album is so fucking cheesey that it has the midas touch but for cheese instead of gold.
the more i listen to this the more i feel like i'm lack toes intolerant.
je suis le fromage.
Tom Waits
3/5
i started off thinking this was the best tom waits album we've had, but i couldn't work it out after about 6 songs in because i got bored of the shtick.
nice to listen to one or two songs, but an album is a slog.
Michael Kiwanuka
5/5
Was not expecting this.
No idea what I was Expecting but I was expecting it to be a bit shit.
This is not shit, this is antishit.
He'd do a very good bond theme tune.
Ella Fitzgerald
2/5
Nice voice.
Boring songs.
Joan Armatrading
1/5
this feels like being stuck in a dentists waiting room.
one of those ones where they have a tv on the wall but its inexplicably tuned in to smooth radio.
still better than having to watch this morning or loose women.
Foo Fighters
1/5
dave fucking grohl. what a weapon.
he's the type of guy that would give himself the tagline of nicest guy in rock.
i still to this day can't understand why no one has noticed that he's just really american. stick a tv camera in front of most americans and they instantly know how to do an interview and be generally nice and positive.
now he's got the nickname its part of his sales pitch and self preservation to ham it up.
i've got his number though, i can see through it.
he's just a straight up bell end.
he worked out the formula for generic rock and has churned out the same shit ever since.
he's the american Bono.
this is my impression of a foo fighter song.
gonna sing some quiet now gonna sing some quiet.
shout, shout, shouty shout shout shout.
heeeyyyy.
i bet you did that in his voice.
this album is as good as it ever got for them.
i could probably have listened to it all the way through if there was a diferent singer but i just can't fucking stand his voice.
Paul Simon
3/5
So much more fun once he dropped that weird as fuck mate of his.
i mean, garfunkel really looks like he's part of liverpools scouting network.
Manic Street Preachers
2/5
is this supposed to be one of their good ones?
never really got in to them, i like the idea of the manics but don't really like their music.
Beach House
2/5
this should be the type of stuff that on paper i should like.
in reality its not very often i like american indie music.
its generally like this album, bland, twee and made for adverts.
Kendrick Lamar
2/5
Meh.
Production is good but I'm just way to white for this shit.
Never gonna listen to this again.
Fleet Foxes
2/5
the biggest beef i have with this album is that it was the precursor to so much more folk toss.
we'd managed to fuck off folk music around the 70s so it's mad it took 40 years and a new wave of rustic adverts to bring it back.
i get the feeling that this wasn't supposed to be an album that more than 10 people listened to, made by a bunch of choristers who found out about guitars when their balls dropped.
pretty sure i just described myself there.
falls into the category of it's well done but i don't like listening to it.
The Young Gods
2/5
je n'aime pas cette musique.
ca me fait mal a la tete.
i think i would have enjoyed this more if he wasn't banging on about baguettes and croissants.
for some reason i couldn't shake from my head the image that the lead singer was the french version of neil buchanan from art attack or the band marseille.
everyones favourite singing nan.
he's looked like a bingo regular for the past 40 years.
The small faces were a tremendous band so its a bit of a shame they turned into the rod stewart backing band.
I'm not really that arsed about Rods singing voice so its nice to hear some flashes of the old small faces every now and then.
a-ha
2/5
the beauty of doing this list using youtube is that you get to see the videos.
the video for sun always shines on tv is a quintessentially 80s nightmare where the band are playing their song in a cathedral full of mannequins.
pulling off all their best 80s moves with the aren't i handsome perma smirk in full flow.
can't decide if i love or hate the video, but its left more of an impression than most of the dross on this album.
The Cars
3/5
in the world of cars this album would be a ford focus.
straight down the middle.
not particularly fast, but not slow.
not particularly good looking, but not hideous.
not particularly economic, but not a gas guzzler.
not particularly interesting, but not boring.
not particularly cool, but not a ssanyong.
just middle.
Pavement
4/5
good this one.
Songhoy Blues
5/5
this is belting.
they're all called toure or dembele so they're probably fucking mint at football too.
does this mean i'm a world music guy now?
man i'm old.
what time is giles peterson on?
Missy Elliott
2/5
supa dupa meh.
Count Basie & His Orchestra
4/5
i'm a sucker for a walking bassline.
this is the kind of smooth i like and i'm down with the album cover that has nothing to do with jazz but at the same time somehow relates to the stabby explosive nature of the horn section.
The Replacements
3/5
when i find myself in times of trouble garys boner talks to me.
imagine the scenario where someone who doesn't know music gets recommended they should listen to let it be as its up there as one of the best albums ever and they find this.
they're either going to disown the recommender or they're gonna drown themselves in sleeveles stonewashed denim and get tattoos of springsteen and bon jon bovi. 'Born living on the stairs!'
Buzzcocks
4/5
Shelley and Devoto met while studying humanities at Bolton institute and formed buzzcocks here.
why the fuck bolton doesn't go bigger on claiming probably the most influential band for northern music is beyond me.
maybe that's now my life's purpose.
somehow convince the locals that they need to revel in their history.
problem is i just know to engage wiv da yoof i'll have to put a fucking donk on it and get a rap verse in to it somewhere.
The Velvet Underground
3/5
the prototype art rock album.
it's easy to forget that one of the founding members of the famously new york velvet underground is a welshman. it must have confused the shit out of the americans hearing a welsh accent telling that story.
i've got welsh ancestry and the welsh accent still confuses me.
Koffi Olomide
2/5
great. i just love having some bloke whisper sweet nothings into my ear in french.
the bits that sound like a nandos backing track were fun for a bit, but i hated the bits where he was doing western ballad style noncey R'n'B stuff.
i retract my previous comment from songhoy blues, i am not a world music guy.
The Beach Boys
2/5
in the words of flavor flav; 'Don't believe the hype'.
i just don't get why this was supposed to be such an influential album.
Ray Charles
3/5
nice.
smooth.
Incredible Bongo Band
4/5
this has got to be Spider dijon.
The Strokes
5/5
it's a worldy.
its still up there as one of my most listened to albums and even if casablancasaurus ends up being a wrong 'un it'll keep being played a la the smiths.
A shining glimmer of pure brilliance that lifted us up from the shite music of the time and sparked something new and exciting.
wheras the rest of the scene that this album almost single handedly created is now terribly dated and derided this album still sits up at the top table.
Most albums that I loved back in the day and still listen to are mainly for the nostalgia and listening to that music puts me in a place in time in my life and it feels like you were back there.
this album is totally different, it is still so fresh and perfectly formed that it works for now and even though it is such a core root of my musical listening it isn't attached to any specific time and place.
so in short this is timeless.
Radiohead
5/5
its just such an accomplished album.
they started the swerve away from being a guitar band with the kid amnesiac duo and then came a bit more back to the guitar band thing for Hail to the thief but they got the balance just right with this one.
fundamentally a guitar band but with all the electronic enhancement.
Arty music that doesn't sacrifice listenability in the name of art and the production of this album is phenomenal, every element is crisp and distinguishable without it detracting from the song as a whole.
best listened to with headphones, as are most radiohead albums.
at the time of writing this is my favourite radiohead album. but then that probably changes all the time.
Black Sabbath
2/5
i don't think i ever knew how maudlin changes is.
it feels like it goes on forever.
its not the kind of darkness i was expecting form the prince of darkness but it is infinitely more soul crushing and scary than any of the heavier stuff.
the album on the whole is fairly uninteresting.
Brian Eno
2/5
not really very good this.
Supergrass
4/5
This is a rating splitter.
It starts off like a beast with hit after hit, but then it has a right wobble.
If this was about 3 tracks shorter it'd be a 5 star but I just can't dish out the highest ever achievement any album can receive (5 stars from bort) to an album where you skip that many tracks.
Shame.
The Shamen
2/5
Well this has come out of nowhere.
The fucking shame?
Mad.
I was hoping this would make me wish I was born 15 years earlier so I could have lived the second summer of love in person in a warehouse somewhere in Blackburn.
It didn't.
Sadly a pretty listless album that didn't make me want to chew my face off.
Elliott Smith
2/5
this is probably sacrilege but i only like about 2 of elliott smiths songs and they weren't on this album.
it's all a bit too depressing for me plus i kind of get his thing but i can't help but feel an overwhelming feeling that his posthumous success is only because its posthumous.
i have the same feelings about john lennons solo work and although i rate nirvana highly they are bigger than they should be.
Goldie lookin chain wrote a critique about posthumous success in their seminal classic Self Suicide where they note the correlation between being dead and people deciding your music is better because you're pushing up daisies.
https://youtu.be/Cdflid4OA2A
Ray Charles
2/5
couldn't be arsed with this one at all.
James Taylor
1/5
fuck country music.
fuck it right in its eye.
chop off its tits with a rusty hacksaw blade.
stick a fork in its throat.
comfortably the shittest off all the genres.
i know there has to be bad music for good music to exist and if country didn't exist then something else would take its place but fuck me its bad.
Motörhead
4/5
I enjoyed that way more than I was expecting.
expecially considering how crap the recording quality is.
i'd absolutely love to give it a 5 because of my enjoyment from it, but the quality of it really is a bit shit.
The White Stripes
5/5
Fucking hell, what an album this is.
Still a regular listen.
This album is fairly simplistic and by no means perfect but that is a huge part to why it is so special.
if you were to re-record these songs played perfectly and extensively produced it would be a poor album.
what we have here is jack white displaying the thing he has that is almost impossible to put a finger on without using the sould destroying phrase X factor.
2/5
fairly unbearable this.
its just so synthetic and soulless and those singles have been played to fucking death.
16 year old me copied origin of symetry onto a minidisc and loved listening to it on the bus to school so much that he went to see muse at the apollo. he put blue hair gel in because he was wacky and totally different.
that sums up what muse is for.
wacky 16 year olds with blue hair gel.
The Clash
5/5
excellent.
another album on my regular listen list.
punk bands are usually associated with 3 chord wonders with bad playing made up for by attitude.
the clash display here they can properly play and write songs and still have more punk ethos than most.
managing to do different styles of music and make it work. that's usually a recipe for a mess of an album but the punk band pull it off.
George Michael
1/5
lets get the good bits out of the way first.
george michael is a bit of a ledge and did being a rich ramous person right.
freedom is a massive song that everyone knows because its decent.
the bad bits are, the rest of this album is terribly turd.
like as bad as it gets turd.
Johnny Cash
2/5
i wanted to like this more than i did.
i love the concept of the album, a legendary musician coming to terms with his impending death by recording a covers album of his favourite songs.
Sadly it spaffs its load after the first two tracks.
the man comes around is huge and hurt is one of those rare tracks where the cover is better than the original and combined with the video it makes for a sad time.
Tim Buckley
2/5
woooaaah duuude.
mellow out maaaan and stop being such a square.
weirdly depressing for something that sounds all flower power.
must have had a few too many bad trips.
Cocteau Twins
4/5
i found this album in 2018 and battered it.
sounds ridiculously fresh for how old it is.
Eagles
2/5
i'm not quite as emphatica about it as his dudeness but i don't really like the eagles.
Its like country plus.
Shuggie Otis
2/5
the version i was listening to stops streaming after about 7 tracks.
can't say i was disappointed.
too smooth for me.
Norah Jones
2/5
This was fucking huge when it came out, like there had never been a singer songwriter before.
It's chuffing boring.
Jimi Hendrix
4/5
confusing as shit this, should i have listened to the UK release or should i have listened to the US release?
the hendrix estate are also shit hot at getting things taken off yootoob, which is my preferred listening platform so that was muddled as fook with all sorts of random live versions.
most confusing of all is why the american version felt it necessary to put an E in the word Foxy (foxey). the 60s were wild.
anyway music, i had in my head that this was a rubbish album from some sort of previous listen years ago. i was wrong, this is very good. Maybe i was listening to the wrong release and one is better than the other.
I'm no longer in my stoner rock days, as i aint got time for that shit, but i am now in my i wish i was better at guitar days so hendrix genuinely does melt my mind.
The Cardigans
3/5
i didn't expect it to be so jazzy.
i mean jazz flute on your opening track, those crazy swedes.
it was alright, i might have enjoyed some of it but i can't really remember.
Primal Scream
5/5
fuck i love this album.
whenever i listen this album it takes me about a week to get the hook line from don't fight it feel it out of my head.
The Go-Go's
3/5
like some bastardised lovechild between the Smiths and the B-52s.
two bands i like, but seperately.
they're almost on to something, its potentially quite good, but not.
Depeche Mode
1/5
the europeans are welcome to keep depeche mode.
i could not be arsed with this at all.
The Doors
4/5
I'm a sucker for the doors, this is however not their best album.
Still got some huge tunes on it.
The Jam
2/5
A whole load of meh.
Such a bland and instantly forgettable album that's saved by down in the tube station, probably the jams best song.
CHIC
2/5
Another one for the long list of one single filler albums.
Maybe it's a time and place album, but I was in neither I should try it again after a few beers.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
4/5
This was a proper gateway album for me so it's hard to be critical.
These days I can't stand what the chilli peppers are or do, but for some reason this album was a sliding doors moment where what they produced happened to be what I needed.
It's an alright listen.
Probably more about the memories it invoked than it being quality.
3/5
As live albums go it was ok.
Got duped into believing the mc5 were the bees knees when I was younger so I've listened to this before.
Nowhere near as revolutionary as I'd been led to believe.
The Cure
4/5
As the darkness fell across the land so began his descent into the deep well of desolation.
His love that once had been the shining beacon for his life has become the crimson eye of despair.
Yeah, go to Whitby, listen to some cure and write some gothy shit.
Only saw about 10 goths while I was in goth central, half of them were Japanese so could just have been baby metal fans and one of the goths I saw was mooching round in a pair of knee high boots and a pair of Kecks that left half her arse hanging out.
Quite the juxtaposition with the scent of fish and chips and the penny slot casinos.
Blur
4/5
WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO goes the sound of 25% of Europe's post covid football stadiums when a goal is scored. at least it isn't the fucking can can, ay Bayern you bunch of lederhosen bumming cunts.
It's going the same way as 7 nation army though, hard to listen to as a song thanks to football getting it's soulless mits on it.
The album drops off a bit of a cliff after a very strong start. Thank God it's not the cor blimey cheeky cockney chappy allbran on this one.
Spiritualized
5/5
not listened to this for ages.
you have to be in the right mood, but when you are in that frame of mind, its fucking excellent.
Khaled
1/5
wow, this guy managed to inject a bit of life in to imagine.
The point of this whole list is to go out of your comfort zone and listen to some stuff you wouldn't choose to and this definitely fits the bill.
however weirdly i've probably heard this album more than most as it seems this is a standard issue CD for taxi drivers.
The Temptations
2/5
doesn't really get going.
threatens to be good but is just a bit bland.
The Kinks
2/5
i like the kinks but this isn't a very good one.
its basically the title track and picture book and then a load of crap.
can't go messing around with my carefully coordinated system because i like a band.
Bruce Springsteen
2/5
If you like the thing that Springsteen does then you'll fucking love this album.
If you find it a tad boring and a well done trope then like me you'll think this is bang average.
Stonewashed.
Willie Nelson
3/5
So I thought Willie Nelson was country. But he's like Tom Waits light.
It's all a bit weird innit and then suddenly it turns into an advert for a payday loan with the whistley happy song.
Think I would possibly like it if I tanned the album. Sounds like it's probably a grower (that's what she said).
Finley Quaye
3/5
The wheels really fell off this one.
I started off enjoying it and then suddenly it was just waffling on with no discernable melodies.
Grizzly Bear
2/5
I don't really get on with American indie.
It's always a bit to high pitched and wet.
Couple of good tracks but I hope the name grizzly bear is ironic as there is no grizzly going on.
AC/DC
4/5
all of these track titles are about SHACK.
enjoyed this way more than I was expecting to.
some absolute bangers on it from a genre that i generally don't get on with and the donging from the bells is a great start to an album.
I'm a sucker for a nice fat bell.
Carpenters
1/5
yeah, fuck this.
more 70s tripe.
if punk never happened the 70s would have been the absolute worst. i'm not surprised there was a need for music to be ripped up and started again.
Miriam Makeba
2/5
so where the fuck did the naughty little flea go?
This is another album on the Nandos playlist.
Justice
2/5
Indie kids in clubs.
What a time it was.
Thank fuck for the lack of smart phones.
Other than D.A.N.C.E. this album is a bit of a mess, i shouldn't be surprised by that but i remember how fucking big they were for about a year.
I don't remember the album from first time round but i definitely went to some nights where justice were on, don't really remember them either but that is clearly for other reasons.
Mj Cole
3/5
ENTER
With the 2 step crew
flibbi dibbi dibbi you know what to do
not nigel on the 1 2s
i should well be a garage MC.
i was hoping for a guilty pleasure album but it was just a bit meh.
however it was surprisingly easy to listen to.
Drive-By Truckers
1/5
Southern and Opera are two words that i never want to be associated with something i have to listen to and this album justifies that predisposition.
I'd like to know who listens to this and gets such frothy knickers that they listen to it all the time and have to go and see this live?
I couldn't work out if it was a joke or not. if it is then it isn't very funny, but then doing 20 tracks is mega lolz.
Motörhead
5/5
motorhead innit.
you know exactly what you're getting.
even though i've heard ace of spades a million times (thank you Tony Hawks pro Skater 3) its still mint.
i'm pretty glad that Lemmy fucked off his silver machine for speed and JD.
Fela Kuti
4/5
good this.
its festival daytime bar music.
Ryan Adams
1/5
he was massive for a bit wasn't he.
i'd rather listen to brian.
it's like listening to a bob dylan covers band that don't play any of the big hits.
i've heard that's what its like watching the real bob dylan so this guy could genuinely be the most true to life cover artist going and i wouldn't even know.
Megadeth
2/5
I expected a band called Mega Death to be a hell of a lot darker than this.
its such a good name for a band, but it feels a bit of a lie.
Mega-stonewashed would probably fit better.
maybe mega-real-ale.
i mean there's not much dethy about this.
Maxwell
2/5
can someone please help me.
i accidentally put this album on through the speakers in my room and the all encompassing smoothness has removed all friction from every object in the room.
I can't open the door as i no longer have fingerprints and the door handle is slipperier than the soap in the prison showers.
once i finally get out of this room the question remains will my new orb shape be the new fashion and shoot me to international fame or will i be shunned as the weird ball boy who looks like Duncan Goodhews head rolling around.
The Dave Brubeck Quartet
3/5
so another album to the list of 1 hit and a load of filler!
LOL!
i mean take 5 is probably the only jazz song that everyone would recognise.
which probably means in the jazz world its the worst song going and all the cool daddios hate it because its 'square'.
it could be that the rest of this album is top jazz but as i still don't have a jazz hat and haven't perfected my 'nice!' i don't know.
still it was nice background music to work to.
Stevie Wonder
2/5
Amongst the sound of the rare jazz flute and a thoroughly disappointing album a wild superstition appears to mildly save the day.
Boring as fool this album, except for superstition which is an all time monster.
Van Halen
2/5
Hit after HIT!!
That's the first comment on the YouTubes.
I disagree, it's more shit after hit.
The YouTube comments for this album are a treat. you can tell what generation their fans are instantly.
This guy sums it up.
This song is #3 in my top-5 underrated Van Halen songs.
1. Fools
2. Sinner's Swing!
3. Top Jimmy
4. Could This Be Magic?
5. Big Bad Bill (Is Sweet William Now)
If someone didn’t know who VH was and asked me to give them only one song to try and get them into VH, I would give that person Fools. It has it all. Improve, energy, riffs, pounding rhythm section, killer backup vocals, etc, everything that is VH to me. How could they leave that song off their setlist for all these years? It was one of their first ever original songs and is found on their live recordings from their club days but never played on any major tours after WACF came out. WTH?!
Sinner’s Swing is a killer song! 2nd song on their FW tour setlist and never played again. Ugh!
Top Jimmy is where I get when people say that Ed was a better rhythm player than given credit for. It has a killer intro and mean riffs in a funky weird song. It’s definitely VH, alright!
They were just showing off when they did Could This Be Magic and Big Bad Bill. I know BBB is cover but still. They are showing off just how talented and versatile they were. What other successful mainstream band could pull off songs like those? That’s like Black Sabbath recording a country song or Air Supply covering an Accept song. Music could go on for another million years but there will never be another Mighty Van Halen! 🇺🇸
My Bloody Valentine
5/5
my brain today is very well reflected by the sounds that come from this album.
X-Ray Spex
2/5
terrible timing for this album to come up.
just spent 3 days watching punk bands, which is at least 1 day too many.
so this was crap for a couple of reasons.
1, i've gone punk blind. it'll be months before i can listen to punk and appreciate it.
2, it would have ranked very lowly against most of the music i've heard this weekend.
I get that its original from off of the time punk was new so its influential, but that doesn't mean i have to enjoy it.
The Rolling Stones
2/5
tuurd on the run,
tuurd on the ruuuun.
wait, what, its not macca?
once you've heard the rolling stones do their r'n'b thing for about 5 songs you're not going to hear anything new in the next 45 songs, or however many are on this album.
fairly tedious.
Killing Joke
4/5
enjoyed this a lot more than i expected.
for some reason i always had them down as being a pop punk band who sing about willys and being immature.
Sufjan Stevens
2/5
boring.
just straight up couldn't be arsed with it.
Neil Young
3/5
my heart sank when i saw the words Neil & Young.
however i get why this is his biggest album, its not all shit high pitched country squealing.
obviously there's some cos neil young is gonna neil young but yeah i still have my ears and sanity in tact after listening to the album.
Bruce Springsteen
2/5
fucking hell, cheer up bruce.
Nebraska must be a grim place if this is what it sounds like.
not much good to say about this dreary load.
Charles Mingus
2/5
far too much jazz in this baby for me to handle.
Eminem
3/5
never really been an eminem fan, but it turns out teenage me heard this album in my friends car so much that i know it pretty well.
I was tempted to give this a high score as some of the tracks are pretty good and its fairly solid as a full album, but there's some massive elephants in the room.
calling people faggots in a song is pretty wild for these days and the fucking skit songs make my skin crawl.
The Modern Lovers
4/5
Fuck Pablo Picasso, SHACK gets called an asshole all the time.
i've started to listen to this album loads of times and very rarely get to the end.
it falls off a cliff after pablo picasso, but there are a couple of belters early on.
Arcade Fire
3/5
all a bit dull.
i don't understand what it's doing on this list. i get their debut album as it was very different when it was released and stuck out, but this is like the first album with the corners knocked off, like restarting a computer in safe mode.
pretty boring.
Sonic Youth
4/5
this is by no means one of the best sonic youth albums, however its infinitely better than 50% of this list.
The Magnetic Fields
3/5
69!
do you get it!
its a sex joke!
i didn't really mind the tracks i listened to, but who the fuck actually has the stamina to listen to the 4 weeks worth of music they produced.
can't believe they committed to the Mega LOL that hard and produced 69 3 minute long whimsical ditties about love. that's some serious stamina.
The Stone Roses
5/5
Massive formative part of my life was spent listening to this album.
if you took don't stop off then this would be very close to perfection for me.
i wonder what the yanks think of the whole baggy manc thing?
Kendrick Lamar
2/5
It's probably a compliment to young Kendrick but this is modern jazz.
It just aimlessly babbles along without even a hint of a melody, hook line or chorus.
I don't know how it could be anything other than background music, you can't actively listen to it.
Meh, I don't hate it so that's a bonus.
Death In Vegas
5/5
Wild that this was released in 99.
It's way ahead of its time, about 15 years too early.
Some lovely cameos too.
Alice Cooper
3/5
what a mad mish mash of an album.
bit of everything.
some of it was surprisingly not terrible, whereas the rest of it was a bunch of rubbish 70s drama music.
The Band
1/5
absolute Jizz.
the most interesting thing about this generic 70s dirge is that the album cover makes them look like 19th century miners.
calm down SHACK, miners with an E.
also worth pointing out how shockingly shite their choice of name is.
i bet they felt like legends when they settled on that.
Siouxsie And The Banshees
4/5
pretty sure naboo in the mighty boosh talks about bad juju.
This was surprisingly meaty. goff is usually a bit flimsy.
The Smiths
2/5
comfortably the least interesting smiths album.
headmaster ritual is wasted on this album.
when you tell people you listen to the smiths and they respond with "its so depressing", they are referring to this era of morrissey.
The Byrds
3/5
surprised me how accomplished this album was.
i know of the byrds, i've never listened to an album of theirs and i had them down as generic swinging 60s beat music with tinny and shrill sounding guitars.
this album is better than that and has some well written songs with a bit of complexion to them. not saying i think its a masterpiece or anything but it's a lot better than i was expecting.
i reckon a younger me probably would have given them a bit more time.
Paul Weller
4/5
Yes it's fairly generic, yes it is straight up dad rock but I really enjoyed it.
I'm not considering joining the middle aged weller cult just yet.
There's enough of them round here and I have no desire to stand like a penguin with a broom up my arse in a pair of gazelles, a Fred Perry shirt, a Parker and possibly a baker boy hat over the long sided hairdo.
Goldie lookin chain did a good one about the Weller cult when that whole sea shanty thing was a thing.
Beatles
2/5
Little child?
Bit noncey that.
Thank God for hallucinagenics, the Beatles were so safe and irritating until they started taking drugs.
System Of A Down
5/5
well that's one thing i didn't think this list would do for me.
I am apparently a System of a Down fan and i didn't even know it.
David Crosby
3/5
couple of decent tracks.
I didn't hate it and only turned it off when it got to the french nonsense at the end so that's a bonus.
Prince
2/5
i don't quite understand why prince is held in such high regard.
the two singles are massive and probably his two biggest, but the rest of this album is like a knock of version of the sonic the hedgehog game soundtrack.
i couldn't handle listening to it.
Deerhunter
2/5
I've always struggled with american indie.
it seems like its good with talented musicians, a nice style and what appears to be a strong scene.
it has a lot of the hallmarks of something i'd like but it's just wet.
It's far too introspective and dainty, there's never any weight, anger or grit to it.
if they whacked on a bit of fuzz and got pissed off they've got all the goods to make something really enjoyable but as it is you just get this feeling that the singer has got rejected by a girl, started crying about it and has inconsolably pissed himself on his bathroom floor after drinking shit wine.
which is fine, but don't write a song about it and try to inflict your self loathing misery on to others.
got enough of my own thanks.
Fatboy Slim
3/5
just was not feeling this today.
its good but a full album was a bit much.
The Kinks
3/5
it was just alright.
not much to write home about.
pleasant to listen to in the sunshine.
Ute Lemper
1/5
what the fuck is this?
i can't work it out. its like some 30s vera lynn but trying to disguise itself as modern and edgy by using names of popular sad singer songwriters.
ether way its not listenable.
Adele
1/5
for an album i skimmed through in about 5 minutes i have a lot of opinions.
most of them bad.
the production of this made every instrument sound fake. don't know if that's the desired effect but it sounded shit.
singers who's apparent main purpose is to show off their really good singing voice is up there with country music for my most loathed music forms. fair play for making the most of your god given ability to wail, i'd just prefer it if the song was sung without the unnecessary showy bits and displays of 'range'.
i suppose we've got to thank simon cowell for the talent show thing where you contort your face, do a knee bend and stick your hand out like darth vader strangling someone as you do the heartfelt bit of the song.
to the albums credit, it does have her big ones on it.
However they've been absolutely rinsed by every man and his dog so despite this being the first time i have ever actively chosen to listen to adele, i probably know all of the words for about 4 of these tacks on here.
i did not enjoy this.
The Dictators
3/5
bang average.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
4/5
does CCR count as a guilty pleasure or are they legit acceptable?
does the dude listening to them legitimise them or is a band from San Francisco playing swamp rock and banging on about all the southern Mississippi stuff the epitome of uncool?
i don't actually have an answer but this album stands up on its own pretty well considering i'm usually a 'the best of CCR' kind of guy.
Elvis Costello
2/5
i feel like i should like elvis costello, but his voice is fucking annoying.
The Chemical Brothers
5/5
i don't know why i've never realised it before but the chemical brothers are fucking brilliant.
no idea why listening to this album sat at home on my own is the thing that has sparked my epiphany and not the times i've seen them live and countless times i've listened to albums and loved it.
This album is 25 years old.
madness.
i'd be surprised if anything released this year will sound as good in 25 years.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
2/5
neil who? never heard of him.
Simon & Garfunkel
1/5
the worlds most famous folk nonces are at it again.
i think that sums the album up pretty aptly.
Bob Marley & The Wailers
3/5
i read that this is supposed to be one of the best reggae albums ever.
It isn't.
i also read that they couldn't afford to get back to Jamaica from the UK so were given an advance to record an album and this was the result.
which makes a lot of sense as to me its got the vibe of lets just get this album out so we can pay off that advance.
Leonard Cohen
2/5
i don't seem to get Leonard Cohen.
he's supposed to be some sort of songwriting genius but the only one we all know is hallelujah and that's only cos of jeff buckley.
on the basis of this album he's a muppet - he came up with the song title Jazz Police and instead of a tune of equal excellence as the title he creates that monstrosity.
i mean, Jazz Police has the potential to be one of the best songs ever written. it has such power yet such elegance. its the man, but also a cool daddio and most importantly its close to jizz police which is funny because, well, jizz.
Janis Joplin
4/5
just buy her a fucking mercedes benz already.
this was a lot better than i was expecting. for some unknown reason i always thought janis joplin was a hippy flower girl so never bothered to listen to her.
she can wail.
Mike Ladd
4/5
Starship N*gger, outer Space Motherfucker.
one of the few times i've really enjoyed the use of the N word in music.
maybe one day when i'm in the middle of the woods with no one around i might sing along. though even writing that makes me feel nervous i'll get cancelled.
album started really slowly, picked up and then was actually decent.
piss poor name.
Prince
2/5
another album from the little purple pervert.
i wonder if prince writes the music or comes up with his sex words first?
i'm pretty sure everything he says is about sex and even when it's not, it is really.
it must have made life difficult when normal conversation and making small talk sounds like you're going to mount someone like some sort of sweaty 80s stallion.
prince: excuse me, what aisle is the ketchup in?
shelf stacker: i'm going to have to ask you to leave the store sir, that is not appropriate way to talk to staff.
Prince: but i just need some red sauce.
shelf stacker: * crumples to the floor suffering from a monstrous orgasm*
to give it some credit its got his big ones on it.
they're super 80s cheeseball and i still don't get why he's so famous.
is he massive because he was big in the 80s and he somehow didn't get left behind?
Nanci Griffith
1/5
I got two track in and was hot with an overwhelming feeling of I'm not wasting my Saturday with this shit.
Cuntry music can fuck right off.
Sigur Rós
2/5
it's like a bad comedown.
i feel like this is another band that has all the halllmarks of something i should be really in to, but i'm just not.
the majority of it is boring, occasionally there is a great distorted heavily reverbed guitar that sounds beautiful, but its the outlier in what generally is drab.
the bits where they're doing euphoric to me are so cheesy they sound like fucking snow patrol.
Aretha Franklin
3/5
decent.
Afrika Bambaataa
2/5
electrohip hop from around this time must have blown peoples minds.
however now it just sounds like a casio keyboard turned to the hip hop setting and a teenager just jabbing away at it.
this has not aged well.
Billy Joel
1/5
fuck this nonce music.
the 70s has a lot to answer for.
Living Colour
2/5
This is happy metal.
Nwobhm but it's in major keys.
None of this is a compliment.
Rod Stewart
2/5
i can't quite pinpoint why Rod does my head in as much as he does.
his music isn't even that offensive, but i just cannot be arsed with him or his shtick.
The White Stripes
5/5
the year is 2001 and a wee 16 year old not-nigel is crushed up against the stage at manc academy 2 for the white stripes.
this blew my tiny little mind and as such has them firmly close to my heart.
Thanks to that gig i am massively skewed towards De Stijl and White Blood Cells, those two albums are stone cold 5 star albums. Elephant to me is the first of the second, more popular, phase of the white stripes.
i still listen to the first two albums regularly, but i rarely got in to any of the later stuff.
so listening to this almost feels like listening to an album i haven't listened to before.
what its lost in rawness and originality it has gained in the quality of the hooklines and his playing is stronger.
it doesn't get near the first two albums but if i didn't know about those albums then i'd probably be raving about this one.
shame football has absolutely shat all over seven nation army.
i wonder if the pet shop boys feel the same about go west?
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
4/5
the year is 2003 and a wee 17 year old not-nigel is again crushed up against the stage at manc academy 2 for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
messy, noisy and at times incoherent punk rock.
this album is not that. they clearly learnt how to record and produce music and developed a hell of a lot as a band.
that said it's not actually a bad thing, this is a pretty good album produced in that awful period when guitar bands thought they were dance acts but it was like they'd never heard a dance track in their lives epitomised by the fucking klaxxons.
some utter shite was produced around that time so this is refreshingly alright to listen to.
yeah yeah yeahs would probably have a pretty good best of album, but the avante garde art punks would come out in hives at the suggestion.
Beatles
5/5
post drugs beatles.
even the songs that you initially can't be arsed with you suddenly remember are quite good.
The Police
2/5
sting.
surely he's on some sort of register.
he kicks footballs at motorbikes and blames it on Suggs.
John Martyn
2/5
singer songwriters very rarely do it for me.
The Jesus And Mary Chain
5/5
dead good.
i went to see JAMC play psychocandy about 10 years ago and it was the first night on the tour. they started off by playing some of the big uns off their other albums and they sounded awful, like as bad as any gig i've ever been to. it filled me with pure dread that i was probably not going to have the stamina to see it through and lose a much loved band in the process.
however, as soon as they started the psychocandy section it was fucking perfect, sounded brilliant.
don't know if they were sharking us or if they just hadn't played the other songs in ages but i'm yet to see another band go from so bad to so good in a single set.
Johnny Cash
3/5
i suppose as much as i don't want to you kind of have to classify cash as country music.
which means there is country music i like, so its now harder to just slag off all country music for being dogshit.
There's a lot of filler on here, but the context of it being played to a room full of men who've probably killed people makes it more interesting and somehow makes you listen to it from the perspective of a crim locked in a 60s american prison.
so i reckon you could call this some wort of performance art then.
Prefab Sprout
1/5
What kind of shit joke is this?
Prefab sprout without the hotdog jumping frog song?
Who knew they were a serious outfit, I though they were just the 80s version of las ketchup.
Should have stuck to novelty.
Little Simz
4/5
very good.
the lyrical content clearly isn't aimed at me but when has that ever stopped me liking something that sounds good.
4/5
Pollys best album.
this is love is gigantic but there is some draggy songs on it.
Deee-Lite
4/5
did not expect to see deee-lite knocking about on an album based list, but who knew they had anything else other than one of my all time favourite tracks.
did some wikipediafiling and what a fucking mad bunch.
american, ukrainian and japanese raised korean making music from new york that to me sounds like it came from the british house scene.
not actually a bad album, nice to hear some 90s dance every now and then.
Kid Rock
3/5
soooo...
is it rap? is it nu metal? is it cuntry? is it pop?
if i was wearing a cowboy hat i would doff it to kid rock and his genre merging abilities. fair enough rap and rock have been bed partners for a long time but mashing cuntry and pop in to it is some going.
it has genuinely blown my mind, not necessarily in a good way, but its also not as terrible as i was expecting either.
i did a google of his lyrics and he uses soo many words, all of it is basically him saying how he's a trailer park lothario come good, but soo many words. quite impressive for his meth addled brain to remember them all.
'I'm 3ft 9 with a 10ft dick'
Sex Pistols
5/5
do i buy country life butter?
advertise whatever you fucking want johnny, you've paid your dues.
sneering nasty album with some monster tracks on it .
Violent Femmes
4/5
Jolly.
I enjoyed that.
Amy Winehouse
2/5
as much as Mark Ronson does my fucking head in for being an egotistical prick, he did do a hell of a lot to turn wino from some directionless generic R'n'B singer into the behemoth she became with a pretty strong identity.
this album is has a couple of standout tunes but the majority is so forgettable that i am choosing to do just that.
OutKast
2/5
who has 2 hours for 40 outkast tracks?
like a good football team the sum of the parts is better than the individuals.
outkast together was decent.
outkast split in half both producing albums and somehow gaffa taping them together is just self indulgent and crap.
still hey ya brings takes me back to the heady days of uni.
Pink Floyd
5/5
i used to hate pink floyd, then in my stoner phase we did dark side of the rainbow (the wizard of oz thing) far too many times and that essentially got me to love this album.
this album and wish you were here are islands in a sea of pink floyd sewage.
Nick Drake
4/5
this brought out the guitar nonce in me.
usually folk artists bore the shit out of me but i really enjoyed this.
The Byrds
1/5
this is the 3rd Byrds album i've had to endure on this list.
one is enough, all their songs sound the same so i don't understand how two identical albums are essential listening.
its the same issue with neil fucking young.
Throbbing Gristle
2/5
if someone tells you they are really in to throbbing gristle you've either accidentally walked in to a BDSM club or you're talking to someone who is such a music aficionado they've decided the way to keep themselves in their ivory tower is to listen to something extremely close to unlistenable because you proles don't get it.
that being said, i'd rather listen to this than kanye or beyonce.
what's the safe word again?
Johnny Cash
2/5
we've already had johnny cash doing a gig in a prison.
i don't get how both of them are essential listening.
The Black Keys
3/5
They definitely have more interesting albums than this, but then that's the problem with becoming popular, you have to do bland to appeal to the masses.
It's alright, just a shame to hen you know they have better.
Pet Shop Boys
2/5
so 90s but not the good 90s.
Pixies
4/5
its difficult to write something about an album that is on the good side of OK.
its fine.
much easier to slag off something for being shite.
The Youngbloods
3/5
yungblud innit.
doncasters finest.
gone in a different direction with this album but whatever, these kids these days can't make their mind up on anything.
for some unknown reason i didn't hate this. it was quite nice background music to work to. must be getting old.
Animal Collective
1/5
i was expecting something a lot more organised than this.
bit of a mess really.
Peter Tosh
2/5
peter tosh is the type of name i'd expect a councilor from Reading to have.
the name describes the type of man who is a dab hand with a spreadsheet and regularly knows how the rainfall this year is doing in comparison to last year.
but in reality he is a boringly average reggae artist.
Stan Getz
3/5
jazz stuff.
i listened to the whole album but can't really remember what happened so it can't have been the bad or good.
R.E.M.
3/5
i missed the bit of their career where they were a bit different and interesting.
for me they are very much entrenched in the middle of the road making music for stadiums full of people to sing along too.
so listening to their earlier doesn't make me think of some small band playing stages to 1000 people, it just makes me think of the song getting soullessly repeated to a stadium.
its fine i supposes.
i won't be bothering to listen to it again.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
3/5
its got his big ones on.
that's nice of him.
a whole album of his singing voice is too much, he's quite irritating.
Stevie Wonder
1/5
stevie wonders whole back catalogue has about 5 good songs in it.
some of those are so huge they are almost as large as SHACK, but the rest is so terrible they are best represented by a malnourished foetal painted swiss cretin.
Baaba Maal
1/5
so when the creator of this list did his first draft they got to a point where they were like yeah i'm done, however i just need a bit more world music.
so they went to their local HMV, popped over to the world music section and just grabbed whatever was in the bargain bin.
this is such generic 'world music'. its at home being discussed by middle class yoghurt weavers at their dinner parties.
Megadeth
2/5
again, not very mega, not very dethy.
fairly generic metal really.
i got to the 8th track and i genuinely thought i would be on the last track as it felt like i'd been listening to it all day.
that bascially translates to it all sounds the same.
Elis Regina
1/5
i hate this.
SHACK for PM.
Roxy Music
4/5
what an album cover that is.
Album is decent too.
Dinosaur Jr.
4/5
decent.
better version of peter frampton than peter frampton does.
Tracy Chapman
2/5
at least the boyzone cover made it two songs on the album i know.
got a nice voice and all that jazz but in the end just another solo singer songwriter thing where the backing music is just bland as fuck and sounds like a sample backing track on a keyboard.
Cheap Trick
2/5
live albums are for fans of the band.
they're very tight, but what does that matter if they just play cheesy shit?
Sinead O'Connor
1/5
i really wanted to know what the black lads on mopeds were up to, but i can't fucking stand her voice so i couldn't be arsed to listen long enough to find out.
never realised how much i can't stand this whiny bint before having to listen to this.
Lucinda Williams
1/5
made me feel like i was in an episode of friends.
or purgatory as its usually called.
Grant Lee Buffalo
3/5
i was close to liking this, but it went on a bit too much.
Pixies
5/5
Like a paddling pool full of kids violating SHARK.
Something like that anyway, I didn't go on the the lads holiday so I missed the memo.
Aerosmith
2/5
i'm sure if you're really in to 80s rock then this is a top ten album.
i'm not so it's a no from me clive.
Quicksilver Messenger Service
3/5
is it jazz?
is it psych?
is it blues?
dunno what this is and i can't decide if i liked it or not.
David Bowie
2/5
meh.
album with a big hit and then some filler.
Stereolab
3/5
je suis un fromage frais.
le petit pois sont dans la banque.
ooh ah cantonaaaaa!
Je donne des coups de pied aux oiseaux
i enjoyed singing along to these.
Beatles
5/5
not really a lot you can say about this that hasn't already been said.
Eagles
1/5
i'm with the dude.
i fucking hate the eagles.
Bon Jovi
2/5
"it's is my life"
-Jon Bovi
there are people in this world who's lives were changed by jon bon and his band.
they couldn't imagine a life without his leotard clad perm rock.
to them this album must be a fucking banger because even the ones i don't know are the same quality as the big uns.
in my opinion that is a low quality, but in memory to drunken student times where i knew no better it deserves an extra star.
Merle Haggard
1/5
no.
Ice Cube
4/5
he really didn't want to have a baby with that lady.
very good listen, but the lyrical content isn't for me which makes me feel like a fraud for nodding along to ice cube banging on about murder and misogyny.
if i don't listen to the words its great, but once i hear what they're talking about it starkly reminds me that my life couldn't be any further form that stuff even if i tried.
i struggle with gangster rap in general as its songs about things that i either have no reference for or glamourising attitudes and behavior that i don't agree with.
Deep Purple
1/5
WOOOO A LIVE ALBUM!!!!!
Alice In Chains
2/5
i put this on in the background and carried on working.
it feels like its been on an entire week of my life and its only track 7.
The Jesus And Mary Chain
5/5
Like SHARPE leading his men in to battle.
Judas Priest
2/5
GRINDEEEER Looking for meat.
either there are so many things about judas priest and this album that are overtly gay or i need conversion therapy.
I mean have you seen how they dress?
it's like they found a book of stereotypes, saw the one for an attendee of a gay club and were convinced there and then that that was the look they should go for.
i was under the impression they were a band for stonewashed jeans and black t shirt clad old men supping trooper down the local rock pub but on the basis of this album they seem more suited to the eurovision song contest.
maybe the rock pub blokes are in to them for the weird flag shagger ode to britain. that shit is well strange, i suppose there was probably more to be proud of back in 1980 but its like some sort of shit that Walter Raleigh would have penned.
then you've got a couple of songs that get loads of airplay.
my confusion levels are off the charts with this one.
good work, Rob, Glen and Kenneth.
Booker T. & The MG's
2/5
spaffed their load with the first song and then descended into old peoples home music.
Duran Duran
4/5
wasn't particularly feeling this until i rolled up the sleeves of my blazer.
at that point i couldn't keep my boat shoes still.
Rush
2/5
i really enjoyed the explosion noises.
that's about the extents.
i'm slowly starting to realise that as much as i would like to get in to metal, i just can't be arsed with this type of cheesey shit, and that appears to be a huge foundation stone of metal.
Willie Colón & Rubén Blades
2/5
i'm never typing willy colon in to google ever again. 😳
More Nando's background music. nice enough to have on in the background but doesn't grab the attention.
Jungle Brothers
3/5
fairly average.
could have been better.
Faust
4/5
there were a couple of points where i was just about to really enjoy this album and then it took another unexpected turn.
still i think the madness of it made it quite enjoyable.
Fairport Convention
1/5
just a shit version of Mulligan and O'hare.
The Temptations
2/5
This started pretty entertaining so I had high hopes.
It quickly went south and stated to be some high pitch wailing.
Elvis Presley
3/5
https://youtu.be/G8Zw_ERCOts
the ballads are shit, but the upbeat ones are kinda fun and make me feel like i'm waiting for a sub standard pizza at frankie and bennys.
Dr. John
4/5
this album makes me think of the voodoo stuff going on in Live and Let Die, the film obviously, not the Macca soundtrack.
that's a good thing.
he does a really good job of selling me whatever drugs it is he's selling, i would like some please.
Hole
2/5
gonna sound weird but courtney love makes hole sound shit.
i know they basically wouldn't have existed without her and she's a big reason why they were popular but her singing is really really really really shit.
the music behind her is pretty good and would probably be decent live, but you'd have to put up with her drunk woo girl screaming.
and the standout funniest thing about Love is that Alan Partridge Boinked her.
A-HA!
Coldplay
1/5
more from the insufferable cunt that is chris martin.
this one makes me more annoyed than parachutes as i get sympathy to his backing band of non descript sidekicks.
the music behind this is fairly decent, there's some tracks on here that i reckon i would be really in to if they didn't have that wailing insufferable cunt being insufferable and a cunty over the top.
however i can swerve the sympathy for them as they are mates with an insufferable cunt, which in the eyes of the law makes them an accessory to being an insufferable cunt so they might as well be charged with the same offence of being insufferable cunts.
my biggest fear with coldplay is that in about a decade everyone will have forgotten what an insufferable cunt he is and they will have some big comeback thing where they're inescapable again but this time everyone will be blowing way more smoke up his arse as they'll have crept into the 'legend' category of people who stuck around making average music long enough that people think that validates them.
Venom
3/5
i always wondered what metal would sound like without the theatrical drama school singing, the squealing guitars and the voice where you pretend you're a demon.
this is what it sounds like.
fairly palatable, i like the sound but the tracks aren't very interesting.
shame really.
Bruce Springsteen
1/5
i just don't get bruce or why he has such a devoted following.
always banging on about grafting and how hard life is, he's such a man of the people. he really gets the daily struggles of the working man cos he was one about 50 years ago.
i hope the next song from 'the boss' is about whether he is picking heating or food.
i found this unbearable listening.
The Allman Brothers Band
2/5
my favourite, a live album from a band i don't really know.
wooooooo!
yeeeeaaaaah! hello denver.
Barry Adamson
4/5
weird but good.
big band jazz meets avant garde.
fun fact, oedipus was a mother shagger.
married his own mum, albeit without knowing it was his own mum but still.
Fela Kuti
4/5
KEEP IT UNREAL.
very much the basis of any of mr scruffs club nights.
very enjoyable.
Iron Butterfly
2/5
my general feeling of this is that i don't like it, but if anyone puts up a 17 minute track i feel compelled to give it the full listen.
Willie Nelson
1/5
The main thing i know about willie is he likes to smoke da 'erb.
he seems like a nice guy but i if this is the kind of stuff he writes when he's stoned he should probably try a different drug.
maybe i never smoked weed properly and the real weed professionals get so baked they time travel to the 1800s?
Smoked so much that you think you're pre electricity.
Marvin Gaye
1/5
this instilled nothing but boredom.
Fats Domino
3/5
Decent.
Arcade Fire
4/5
the original architects of the twee faux country indie movement.
this really did sound like nothing else when it was released, hard to imagine now there is an abundance of imitations with shouting bits in it (looking at you lumineers).
having not listened to it for years its better than i remembered.
Moby
4/5
mad how something that was so inescapable and the biggest thing in existence when it came out can end up so forgotten when its no longer the zeitgeist.
Guns N' Roses
3/5
if you'd asked me what i think of appetite for destruction before i'd started this list i would have said its top drawer without having listened to it for years.
now that i've had to endure loads of hair metal thanks to this list i have developed an aversion to cheesy squealy cock rock.
some huge tracks on here but a full album is too much.
Pearl Jam
5/5
pearl jam are a weird one, they masquerade as grunge when the only thing remotely grunge about them is Seattle.
they're surprisingly cheddar and their reputation is weirdly high considering the quality of their output.
my conclusion for why they're so big is they sit in a void between a whole load of genres which probably means they get people fans from all of them.
sort of grunge,
fairly rock,
sort of metal,
sort of indie.
that said for me their whole reputation lies on this album. i have listened to all of their albums as my mrs loves them, but this is by far and away the only one worth listening to.
Heaven 17
3/5
that's one of my favourite album covers i've seen in a long time.
the music is a lovely dichotomy of the 80s with some of it being amazing fun times yuppie good and some of it being toxteth riots terrible noises.
Korn
4/5
the year was 1999, the location was woodstock.
Nah, like fuck i was there.
Korn passed me by, i was more in to the knob jokes of blink and limp bizkit.
listening to it now i realise it was a bit harsh for them to get lumped in with the nu-metal crowd of retards as this is serious music for serious people.
Jeff Buckley
4/5
its some singing voice that.
some of this album is really good, some of it dull as dishwater.
not really in to whiny ballads but the ones with a bit of weight to them are very strong.
that boy had some serious talent.
The La's
2/5
massive one hit wonder here.
the rest of the album is single paced and samey and if they were playing live i don't know if i'd manage the full set.
i have no understanding of how a band that had as much of an impact on the world as the mock turtles can sit there with a bigger reputation than the inspiral carpets.
Slint
4/5
last week i was doing a deep dive on post rock after stumbling across Russian Circles so obviously this album came up.
the trouble with many pioneering genre defining albums is that once the rest of the world has caught up there are always newer albums that take the initial thread and improve on it leaving the pioneer sounding a bit off the pace.
that is the case with this album, its good but coming at it 30 years after it was written means there is a lot of post rock that i enjoy much more than this.
if i didn't know it was such an influential album i would happily let it pass me by.
Peter Gabriel
1/5
whys he got his face that close to the window?
he's gonna give it a lick isn't he.
that would explain the state of this album.
Underworld
3/5
i was not expecting this to be on the list, as to be honest i'd forgotten it existed which is bad form on my part as i used to have this on CD.
i had also forgotten how long it is (giggidy).
nowhere near as good as i remember, there are better underworld albums.
ABBA
2/5
i just can't do it.
this music is reserved for weddings or 60th birthday parties down the local social club.
i've looked at the track list and there's songs on there that everyone knows.
they're very well written pop songs.
k.d. lang
1/5
its been a while since we had something i dislike as much as this.
fucking awful.
The Zombies
3/5
i got a little excited when i saw zombies so i was a bit let down this wasn't the cranberries.
its very inoffensive, which is the total opposite of SHACK in trousers.
Jah Wobble's Invaders Of The Heart
2/5
what a confusing mash of styles and sounds.
The The
1/5
i hate this.
The National
2/5
a whole lot of meh.
i reckon on paper i should like this but in ear i just couldn't get in to any of it.
luckily for the national it come hot off the heels of the absolutely woeful the the so i couldn't justifiably put it in the 1 star club.
Gang Of Four
4/5
it would be nice to hear what gang of four would have to say about our new prime minister that has been thrust upon us by the old pensioners of kent.
i don't think they'd be happy, but then who is?
should have been SHACK for PM.
he doesn't fool any indians.
Gary Numan
3/5
my better halves auntie is a Gary Numan Fanatic.
i never knew that was a thing, but yeah it is.
credit where its due to Gaz Man this is a lot more than just cars + a load of 80s synth shite where someone jabs at a keyboard with the 80s tones set to 11.
still doesn't explain the fanaticism.
Youssou N'Dour
3/5
i listened to most of this, its ample background music.
The Mars Volta
4/5
this is definitely what King Charles III is listening to to come to terms with the death of his mumsy.
i never got the mars volta before, probably because i was a simpleton indie centric tosser, maybe its the death of a monarch that has opened my Rudi van DiSarzio style 'Door of Kukundu' and allowed the light in.
some of this is brilliant.
Rahul Dev Burman
1/5
this is why the queen was so keen to keep hold of the commonwealth, she was bang in to this stuff.
i on the other hand am not bang in to this.
1/5
i got about 30 seconds in to 3 songs before i could confirm that i fucking hate this shit.
it is the sound of daytime in miserable dingy pubs full of smoke where no one talks to each other.
Bruce Springsteen
2/5
there is a reason that there are only about 5 bruce songs that everyone knows - its because the rest of them are shit.
The Louvin Brothers
1/5
fuck off.
The Electric Prunes
2/5
don't be such a square maaaaaaaan.
generic 60s, they didn't really bring anything new to the party.
2/5
i mean, i'm impressed by it and its left a mark on me, but fucking hell that is an assault on the senses.
stressed me out but still better than any country music and john fucking lennon.
Radiohead
4/5
A limbo album.
its clearly not part of the Kid Amnesiac hyper experimental era and it gets followed up by in rainbows (albeit 4 years later) which is arguably their most accomplished album.
its not part of the previous era and it in no way compares to the quality of in rainbows so it just kind of exists in between, unbothered.
it's still decent but it's competing with pablo honey for the radiohead album with the least individual draw.
Linkin Park
1/5
i was hoping this would be another one like the SOAD album where i ignored it in my yoof and now i've listened to it i get it.
it wasn't, if anything it was the opposite and now i've actually listened to it i like it less than i was expecting.
it's super cheddar.
give me limp bizkit over this any day - yeah that's right i really didn't like this.
Arrested Development
3/5
this was close to being really good but in the end it was a bit of a 2x killer and some above standard filler.
The Offspring
4/5
Yeah, straight down the middle offspring.
exactly what was expected, if not slightly better.
Tortoise
2/5
I don't have a problem with the genre at all, i like a bit of post rock and i like a bit of ambient, but this straddles the two in a bad way.
it's aimless, its neither one genre nor the other.
if it was post rock it would have a crushing crescendo, if it was ambient it would create a place but it does neither.
either that or the place it creates is a menu screen on a mid quality computer game, which is not particularly a place i want to be.
Fun Lovin' Criminals
5/5
well this was well more massive than i remember it being.
My memories of it at the time are scooby snacks being flogged so hard it was unlistenable and it generally being pseudo cool nonsense.
don't really know if any of that has changed but i read how they came to fame by filling in for acts that didn't turn up in a club they worked in.
could be a nice cover story but it makes it sound a bit more of a piss about, which fits the music better than some uber cool new york hipster taking themselves far too seriously trying to be cool.
gonna go big on this.
4/5
it's most impressive feat is managing to make all that glam 70s shit with the weird singing voices tolerable.
got amazing tracks on and they're all pretty good, but listening to them all in a row turned it in to a slog, this album is best listened to in small bitesize chunks.
Beastie Boys
3/5
some very fat 808 sounds.
that was the best bit really other than the iconic record sleeve.
Dion
1/5
looks like Mulligan or O'hare.
nowhere near as funny.
Tim Buckley
4/5
i'm going to LA next week, i'll let you know if this is what LA actually sounds like.
i like his continuation of Jim Morrisons vibe, he probably would have been a good replacement.
pretty solid album, i reckon i'll listen to this again someday which is a fucking massive upgrade on most.
Stevie Wonder
3/5
shit cover of gangsters paradise.
shit cover of george michael.
using his wonky eyesight to get away with noncing is just not cricket.
there is actually a decent 10 track album in here, but fucking hell its bloated with shite.
Bonnie "Prince" Billy
2/5
cheer up mate.
the album cover is great, he's got a cheeky little smile, but there is fucking nothing cheeky about this album.
i feel like he's trying to make me walk in to the sea or off a cliff.
The War On Drugs
2/5
ah, the band that 6Music wants to shove down your throat.
they occasionally do some nice psych stuff but on the whole they sound far too much like bruce fucking springsteen to be listenable.
Gang Starr
4/5
nice and mellow with a bit of an ladies love Cool James vibe.
a little bit irritating that he just banged on about how bloody good at rapping he is.
The Clash
4/5
This is nowhere near as good as London calling, but not a lot is.
Straight down the middle punking.
Country Joe & The Fish
3/5
this could have been written by absolutely anyone form that era as it pretty much all sounded like this.
nothing to write home about.
George Jones
1/5
luckily for me i couldn't find the full album on yourtubes.
i could only find the title track and about 30 seconds of that was more than enough.
comfortably the least i've listened to an album on here and i couldn't give a fuck because fuck country music.
The Pogues
2/5
do you ever actually have to listen to a pogues album to know what you're getting.
merely seeing the name 'the pogues' sets my inner monologue off diddly deeing.
that said, rum sodomy, that's the best type of sodomy.
Wu-Tang Clan
4/5
i've tried a load of times to become a wu-tang fan, but i basically end up just mildly interested.
this is pretty good but i can't help but feel that the love for wu-tang is a love for them and not their music as their music is alright but not as good as their reputation would suggest it is.
Pere Ubu
3/5
flashes of good, flashes of avant-garde toss.
mad that it came out in 78 though, seems like it should be early 80s so it was probably pioneering.
Raekwon
4/5
i wanted more from this.
its solid, well produced and well performed but there isn't enough of a reason for most of the tracks, i'm not saying there needs to be a massive chorus or hookline but a lot of them just were there.
maybe the purpose is in the lyrics, but i'm not really one for prioritising lyrics over the music, and besides trying to listen to hip hop intently listening to lyrics would be some serious mental exercise due to the sheer quantity of words used and unreferenced slang.
Elvis Costello
3/5
the list compiler definitely has a soft spot for costello as this is the second offering we've had from him and one in 1001 is more than enough.
that said, it should be this one over the other one as its fairly pleasant listening.
Billy Bragg
1/5
i always feel like because of his political leanings i should like old billy.
but i fucking hate folk nonce music and this is 100% folk nonce territory.
its the type of shit that makes me leave a pub when some arsehole starts wailing one of their songs of woe.
Stereo MC's
3/5
this is like the English version of Dee lite.
makes me feel like a much more upbeat 90s version of skinnyman with none of the politics. that's probably me talking shite.
it's ok, it's not the hidden gem i was hoping for but its genuinely not a bad album.
Grateful Dead
3/5
fairly bland considering the deads reputation, however luckily for this album it popped up on to the list a couple of days after i'd been on a day trip to Haight-Ashbury in San Francisco.
listening to this hot on the heels of knocking about in their home town and the birthplace of the whole hippy counter culture thing it sort of works a bit better, even if the haight is now a bit of a tourist hippy pastiche.
everything this album does was done better by love with arthur lee.
The Mamas & The Papas
2/5
its the california dreamin' band with their album, california dreamin' + 11 bonus tracks.
Manic Street Preachers
4/5
i said this last time we got a manics album on here but i'll repeat myself because why not, it's only me reading these.
in theory i should absolutely love the manics and in particular what they stand for but for some reason i don't.
This listening of this album however is softening me, i've enjoyed its peak britpop simplicity.
it's unlike me to like the most commercially popular output form a band, but here we are.
UB40
4/5
way more dub than i was expecting.
i've no idea what it is about UB40 but i have a soft spot for them and this album almost validates my soft spot.
the lack of credibility the more poppy cod reggae brings is easily counteracted by their debut dub album.
Prince
3/5
still don't get the tiny purple pervert, but this is the closest i've got to enjoying anything other than the famous singles.
Morrissey
2/5
what a cunt.
love the smiths, hate morrissey.
Nitin Sawhney
3/5
fairly happy with this, i suspect its a grower.
sometimes this list throws an album at you and a single days turn around will only give you an initial opinion, a few more listens could make it a much higher rating.
no i know about this album i'll definitely be giving it another couple of chances.
Elvis Presley
3/5
1956, mad.
maybe it's been remastered every coulpe of decades but the quality of this is high well higher than i'd expect for nigh on 70 years ago.
don't enjoy the ballads, but the rock and roll stuff is good fun.
Dusty Springfield
5/5
bloody hell this is good.
i didn't realise half of this was her.
this is the 60s at its best, skittish drums, brass, strings, backing singers and melodies.
Tom Waits
3/5
SHACK for PM.
tom waits doing what tom waits does here.
of the 3 we've had on the list this one is the best yet.
i don't know if that's a compliment or not.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
5/5
so this is the nick cave that deserves all the plaudits.
i had formed the impression that grinderman was a complete volte face for nick and everything prior was poetry over drab music, but this has some balls.
the downside is it's a bit long, but i'll let it off because i'm nice like that.
Billie Holiday
2/5
Not really my cup of tea.
Let's leave it at that shall we.
Talvin Singh
3/5
1999 mercury music prize. what a strange bunch of albums that is.
but on closer inspection of 1999 and the best selling albums we're greeted with an absolute mess of a time.
we've got the year of trance and nu metal.
manufactured pop is still huge mainstream with backstreet boys selling 40m albums.
Eminem resurrecting dr dre.
europop is big with vengaboys and eiffel 65.
film soundtracks are selling like made (notting hill 2.4m).
the indie offering is the wet singer songwriter thing that was the push back to britpop led by travis.
we've got moby, will smith, macy gray, lou bega, sisqo.
this year was fucking mental.
i implore you to go here and have a look for yourselves as to what the fuck was going on;
https://bestsellingalbums.org/year/1999
so back to the beginning with the mercury music prize list, it now makes a bit more sense. in hindsight it probably should have been won by the chemical brothers surrender but none of the others have really stood the test of time, faithless 8PM, stereophonics - performance and cocktails, manics - this is my truth, blur-13 all fairly un-innovative.
so after all that waffle, it's alright.
nice production, good sounds but the pace of it kind of stumbles along rather than flows.
Fleetwood Mac
1/5
the famous white elephant.
it lives up to it's reputation. it's so underwhelming.
i mean it must be hard to follow rumours, but the title track aside this is so beige.
John Prine
1/5
yeah nah.
fuck cunty music.
Christine and the Queens
1/5
pretentious pop music sung by a French Dean Holdsworth.
i've seen her on the telly and its just as much about the arty farty dancing as it is the music.
like a modern kate bush who thanks to being french probably has a fucking massive bush.
Deep Purple
1/5
This was so much worse than I was expecting.
What's with all the wailing?
ZZ Top
4/5
who knew i would be a ZZ top fan.
i genuinely really enjoyed this no nonsense blues rock.
meant i also watched a video of them live where they have treadmills built in to the stage so they whizz about while playing, absolute nonsense but the kind of nonsense i enjoy.
Emmylou Harris
1/5
all i can hear is stevie nicks, who i find irritating at best.
Devendra Banhart
3/5
good grade of odd job.
brings something a bit different to the 'man with acoustic guitar' genre which is fairly difficult thing to achieve.
the standard feeling when you hear some fella with an acoustic guitar is to ask 'shall we go somewhere else?'
however we all know 'Fell just like a child' ist the only devendra banhart track worth listening to and its not on this album.
Little Richard
4/5
lil dicky lived a wild and wacky life by todays standards, but he did it in the 50s. genuine trail blazer.
potential nonce. though both deny it and say he used the 15 year old girl to get him fast food from white only restaurants which coupled with his unconfirmed sexuality makes for the most unique of explanations that's so mad I'm inclined to believe it.
no officer, i wasn't diddling kids i just love white people hamburgers.
strong 50s rock n roll.
Elliott Smith
4/5
similar vibe to jeff buckley where there is an extra layer of sadness added to the already particularly sad music left behind.
I'm partial to a bit of elliott smith and his weird offbeat jazz like music that changes when you don't expect it. just as you think you've settled in to the groove of a track he chucks in some weird strum pattern that kicks you out of the groove and unsettles you a bit.
Dr. Octagon
4/5
so this album has shown me that i don't necessarily hate all skits.
i hate skits that are about the size of the rappers schlong, how good they are at making love to a beautiful woman, hating on someone else or generally any other aggressive caterwauling.
the skits in this are absurd and borderline surreal which is like a magnet to my vic and bob addled brain.
overall its good hip hop and his lilt is really listenable.
The Who
3/5
went through a teenage spell where i believed the hype and thought the who were brilliant, whereas in reality they have about 10 standout tracks and the rest is a bit guff.
the bits my older self has lost track with is that roger daltry is such a fucking duanne dibbley and i can't stand the nonces high pitched singing voice.
mad that the standout for this band is the rhytmn section.
it's competing for the best ever bass and drums combo with their competition coming from;
reni and mani
the johns - bonham and paul jones (another band where they save it)
macca and ringo.
many bands have an amazing drummer or amazing bassist, but very few have both together.
this albums saving grace is that it has 3 of those previously mentioned good songs.
Tina Turner
3/5
to give tina credit i listened to almost all of this which surprised me a lot.
it was fairly fun.
glastonbury 2023 yeah?
The Cramps
4/5
What's not to like?
and psychobilly is such a good name for a genre.
Queen
2/5
i respect what queen do but i just can't be arsed with it.
freddie mercury was proper fun, but the space nonce bugs me for some unknown reason, like why should i not like him?
he seems like a nice man, he's interested in mind boggling things and he built his own guitar out of a coffee table, i should think he's brilliant but he's just like that fart smell that you get if you put a ham sandwich in a bag for too long.
don't really like roger taylor either, why is he famous? drummers only get famous when they're dead good or sing.
he should be like the secret unknown member of queen who was even in the famous kaleidoscope thing on the bohemian rhapsody video but i've never heard his name.
Blondie
4/5
50% stone cold classics, that's a pretty high number for a single album produced in the 70s.
most 70s albums we've had on this list are one or two hits and a shit load of filler.
the filler isn't too bad on this either.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
1/5
so the last nick cave album we had was some dirty grungy tunes with swagger and a snarl.
thats the good nick cave.
this isn't.
the fact this album is about something so tragic makes it even harder to listen to.
i can't actually think of a scenario where i would actively choose to dive in to the misery that is this album.
anyone who does choose to listen to this album is a fucking pervert.
Massive Attack
4/5
there are better massive attack albums.
there are also worse massive attack albums.
The Sonics
5/5
i was expecting a speedy blue hedgehog and his foxy mate singing some catchy J pop but this was marginally better.
Gorillaz
5/5
i forgot how much i listened to this album when it came out.
this is possibly the second best character played by all bran, after the africa express one, that character is still one of my favourites, it's like something straight off fonejacker.
anyway, yeah this album is really good, the second one was a bit arse and you only ever hear the shaun ryder one on the radio which is a bit of a joke, but such is advertised radio.
T. Rex
4/5
was expecting a load more 70s high pitched shite, but this was much better than that.
the production and mixing is really good, there's nothing harsh in there, it's all at the right levels and it goes to show that decent production can improve a non-entity of a track.
admittedly this does have some very famous songs on which is nice, but on the whole an enjoyable listen.
Sabu
2/5
more nandos music.
bet cristiano ronaldo listens to this when he's on his way to go and do some noncing.
MC Solaar
4/5
arrêter!
Temps de marteau.
pretty decent that.
Simply Red
2/5
when the reds go marching, on on on!
he's like the much better prototype of the used teabag that is ed sheeran.
hideous ginger creature, the pastiest of things with suspisious eyes using predominantly black music styles to sing music that gets the women going.
the prototype completed women though didn't he.
can't see ed sheeran ever conquering slick mick in the all time tables.
micks got a pretty good voice if you didn't know what he looked like, but there's just something so jarring about MOR soul being belted out by someone who looks like an eco warrior that's been trapped in a tunnel for the last 5 months surviving off stale golden wonder crisps and drinking his own piss.
Jeff Beck
2/5
more white man sings the blues.
you can go to a jam night and see someone of a similar standard any night of the week. admittedly they are probably doing their best impression of Jeff but the point is its nothing new and every small town in the country has a 50 year old white bloke who can play guitar like this.
Silver Jews
3/5
kind of alright.
He's got a voice that sounds a bit like a camp bear in a cartoon.
like a cross between mr slave and sexual harassment panda.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
1/5
oh fuck off neil.
Michael Jackson
1/5
i can't fucking stand this small boy fingering nonce.
i equally can't stand the fact that people want to brush it under the carpet so they can still listen to his music.
this album is bad and it should be fucked into the bin along with the other pedo musicians that are no longer acceptable to listen to.
wacko jacko is in no way better than ian watkins, the bad one, not H from steps.
fucking nonce.
The Kinks
3/5
there are better kinks albums.
its alright, but their filler songs on this one aren't really up to much.
Billy Bragg
1/5
meh.
folk stuff for people who hark back to a mythical time with crazy strong rose-tinted glasses.
Big Brother & The Holding Company
3/5
i get the vibe that janis was one of the lads.
no idea what that means but it was what this album made me think.
some good some bad.
Dire Straits
2/5
who knew their dead famous MTV song was banging on about faggots.
never knew they loved irish stew that much.
probably the most interesting thing about them is some extremely mild controversy that wasn't an issue when they said it.
this album doesn't have sultans of swing or the romeo and juliet one so it leads me to think we're gonna have to endure that album at some point too.
Skunk Anansie
1/5
i don't remember skunk anansie having a nu-metal phase and if you got a list of their albums and said that is definitely the one you have to listen to, it gives you the best representation of the band and what they offer that is unique, it aint this album.
i'm not surprised they went on hiatus after this album as it is clearly a band that has lost its way.
Led Zeppelin
3/5
not a very good zeppelin album.
its got a couple of biggies on it but the rest of the album doesn't make use of the ridiculous talents of jones, bonham and page.
i used to listen to zeppelin in awe of the ability of the guitar bass and drums, these days when i listen to them i struggle to get past plants wailing.
Flamin' Groovies
3/5
the name is far better than the band.
they're a bit of a rolling stones lite with a side of elvis thrown in.
their most interesting tracks are the rockabilly cramps style stuff.
The Who
3/5
happy jack apparently lived in the sands on the isle of man.
must have been a right fucking weirdo.
live albums, the niche that belongs to the real aficionados of the band and rarely sound anything other than crap to anyone else, however in th'oos case they have one of the best rhythm sections going and a live environment allows moon and entwhistle to shine.
the who have some massive bangers and as a drum and bass pervert the crap songs i can filter out the pricks at the front of the stage and listen to the backline.
Nine Inch Nails
3/5
i feel like i should have liked this more than i did.
the overwhelming feeling is that its a bit messy, it could have been refined.
a ten track album would have worked better for me.
maybe i'm missing the point and the album needs all of the ambient noise to accentuate the aggressive noisy bits but then maybe i'm the next big thing producer and i could have brought unimaginable fortunes and turned trent into the next justin timberlake.
i hope trent thinks about that next time he's at the oscars.
Barry Adamson
5/5
this has completely sideswiped me.
i had no idea anything thoughtful or conceptual came out of moss side but it turns out in 1989 before it gained its guns and gangs reputation it was a place where someone wrote a film score to a nonexistent noir crime film and accompanied it with a conceptual short story.
Sam Cooke
4/5
i'm glad he doesn't have leukemia.
sounded like a right ole knees up in there.
Burning Spear
4/5
nice bit of dub reggae.
Badly Drawn Boy
5/5
loved this album when it came out so it was nice to listen to it again and to my surprise it's still very good.
B.B. King
4/5
this list is affecting my opinion that live albums are shit.
this one is very good, but then that probably stems form the music being good.
the crowd definitely adds to this one.
i wouldn't listen to peter fucking frampton anyway so a live version is going to be doubly shit.
Van Halen
1/5
no.
utter shite.
Sly & The Family Stone
3/5
how dare he call me whitey.
this is way more coherent than most of the famous funk albums we've had.
Beck
2/5
what happened to the sexx laws loser version of beck?
when did he turn into a boring borderline country moaner?
this was about as interesting as a nautical love story about SHACK and the painted monster written by AI.
Small Faces
4/5
it's been a while since i've listened to this so i got the mild fear about it being really shit and i lose another (half) album that i once loved.
luckily this was better than i remembered.
The first half of this album is really fucking good and it's really nice of them to put all the good songs on the first side so once that fucking weird storytelling shite starts you can just fuck it off and not have to suffer.
imagine if they hadn't bothered with that wank and just ploughed on with a full album like the first half. we could have had a world where steve marriot never left, the small faces continued and we would never have had to put up with that smug grottbags looking cunt who fronted the faces.
Gil Scott-Heron
3/5
this just made me think of the fast show.
nice.
Janelle Monáe
4/5
it's the female version of bruno mars.
to be fair that's probably a bit derogatory, she's clearly got more to her than he does.
i enjoyed this way more than i expected, what a mad hotch potch have a go at every style album this is.
produced really well and very easy to listen to.
Beck
4/5
this is the beck we know and appreciate, not that fucking godawful country version of beck we had on that last absolutely forgettable album of his on this list.
genuinely can't remember it's name and i don't really want to try.
anyway, yeah this album is good mad beck.
some good, some average but the good is weird shit.
The Human League
2/5
i can't take this shit seriously. it's a standard set up of 2 bangers and a load of filler but instead of the filler being insipid dirge it's hilarious wacky keyboard sounds form people who are super serious future goths.
it was a nice move to put the bangers at the end of the album though, i think it might have made me listen to more of the album than i would have if they spaffed their load by the second track.
Queens of the Stone Age
4/5
ooh, first album for massive band.
this goes one of two ways, the first album is by far and away their best and they then proceed to churn out generic stadium drivel to their already formed massive fanbase and lose everything that made them interesting, or in the case of qotsa (and others) you have an album form a band (or just josh and a drummer) finding its feet, learning their craft and finding what makes them and their fans tick.
if this was the first time i'd heard this album i would be keen to listen to other albums form them.
Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
2/5
i have a t shirt for Neon Meate Dream of an Octafish which was sent by mistake when buying an alan partridge shirt and they said keep it.
presumably they knew not really anyone would want it as there can't be that many people in to this brand of madness.
i wear that t shirt because i listened to the album and decided that wearing a t shirt for an insane song on an album you don't listen to that gets you absolutely no kudos points or recognition from anyone you will meet wearing the shirt is the type of surreal shit captain beefheart would do.
i get why they would put trout mask replica on the list but it is incredibly hard work even for someone who knows captain beefheart and has seen the magic band play (once the captain had popped his clogs).
he does have some albums that are listenable, i quite like ice cream for crow but this album is so far into the realms of art/jazz that it flies over my head.
i would probably understand it better if i was wearing a black turtle neck and a beret.
The Undertones
3/5
its the undertones doing some undertones.
exactly what it says on the tin.
The Beach Boys
3/5
the beach boys does the 70s.
incredibly hit and miss, but nice to hear some songs that aren't all about the really high pitched in the era where high pitched was all you could fucking get.
Marty Robbins
1/5
fuck this right off.
Solomon Burke
2/5
nice enough but it didn't do anything for me.
Slipknot
2/5
i'm no slipknot aficionado but surely this isn't the one album you should listen to of theirs or the one that defined a new genre.
if anything i find this a little tame for slpiknot and almost commercial.
ABBA
1/5
i cannot be arsed with ABBAs space disco music.
i understand what they did for the world of pop music, i understand they are massive and unique, but i don't understand how this list could give us an ABBA album with zero songs i've ever heard before. and what it's purpose is.
utter tripe.
Jean-Michel Jarre
2/5
jean michel snore.
Dennis Wilson
5/5
so after all these years where we were led to believe brian was the musical genius in the beach boys and he wasn't even as good as his brother on drums.
didn't know anything about him so read up a bit;
was done over by charles manson and his cult, met some of them and then before you know it they've squatted in his house he's ended up moving out and they've sold all of his belongings.
did the famous recordings of charles mansons music and when asked for the recordings as part of the investigation he said he'd destroyed them because in the most california surf dude way possible - "the vibrations connected with them didn't belong on this earth"
The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
4/5
the name is a bit of a red herring.
this was far better than the white man does delta blues i was expecting.
Gene Clark
1/5
the cover made me think i was getting some 30s comedic music.
what a fucking let down.
i was well up for some crazy words, crazy tune Vo Do De O
Jerry Lee Lewis
4/5
Good stuff that.
It's the good old moral dilemma of is the music ok even though he was a bit of a wrong un.
Without really knowing much about what he did that made him a wrong un I'll score it seperate from the man.
Kacey Musgraves
1/5
And the bells were ringing out with piss poor singer songwriter pop
Rod Stewart
1/5
What the fuck is gasoline rod?
Aren't you a knees up cockney Scottish person?
Was his shite music always aimed at grans?
k.d. lang
2/5
I was gonna absolutely slate this and then I realised it sounds like the background music from SpongeBob which made me smile.
Also Scott thinks it's Morrissey that quiff, I think it's the cramps cartoon logo.
Suzanne Vega
1/5
i have no time for this.
well done for giving folk a 90s twist, but its still folk sang with a largely uninteresting voice.
Beatles
3/5
thank god for drugs.
they really did improve the beatles.
some bangers but there's a lot of generic skiffle crap on here.
Can
3/5
was quite enjoying this until it totally lost its shit and went in to some guttural ohming for what seemed like an eternity.
that must have been when the drugs really kicked in.
they must have been have a great time on whatever interdimensional plain they were on.
Abdullah Ibrahim
2/5
where was this on christmas day?
some background lounge jazz to open presents to while you embrace the sweet numbness that only alcohol can provide.
The Chemical Brothers
5/5
i don't understand how i never went bigger on the chemical brothers when they were in their pomp.
i don't know how i could have listened to this album and not have fell absolutely in love with them.
it genuinely baffles me that even having seen their phenomenal live shows and listened to all of their albums when they came out that i never went massive on them.
wish i could go back and see them in their early years.
Cornershop
3/5
enjoyable, i was well prepared for a massive disparity between their massive hit and the rest of their stuff, not just because of the one hit wonder thing but because that track was mixed by fatboy slim, probably why it was so chuffing massive.
However i was left pleasantly surprised that the rest of the album had quite a nice 90s chilled out dance vibe, like big beat without the big beat.
Brian Wilson
2/5
not as good as dennis.
i get why this was always referred to as a masterpiece and after reading about dennis' album i understand more that this is a joining of classical and pop music which makes it make more sense to me.
however respect and enjoyment don't always go hand in hand. the worst bit about the beach boys was their high pitched harmonies of which there are quite a lot in here and the whole feel of the album got boring to me pretty quickly.
Les Rythmes Digitales
3/5
ah, the english guy pretending to be french because everyone wants french house in the late 90s.
he has all the pseudonyms. jacques lu cont, zoot woman, thin white duke, paper faces or stuart price.
this whole thing was probably a bit of a precursor to the radio soulwax 2 many djs mash up thing that was enormous in the early 2000s.
as with anything that was an early "innovator" in a scene when you look back it just sounds like a shit version of the good stuff done by the people who took it and improved it.
Eels
5/5
This ticks all of my alternative boxes.
Mr Es autobiography is particularly good too.
Isaac Hayes
3/5
love his cover of the white stripes.
chefs got some voice on him.
Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
4/5
captain beefheart vs lieutenant lambchop and the battle for manx throne.
this is the kind of beefheart that we can actually listen to and in fact enjoy.
Röyksopp
4/5
fucking hell this was massive and i was a part of the reason it was massive because i listened to it fucking loads.
Ramblin' Jack Elliott
3/5
I expected to despise this but something got me to actually listen to it.
quite like the cocaine song.
Steve Earle
1/5
absolutely gash.
Goldfrapp
3/5
its like a film soundtrack.
no idea what the film is about or even what type of film it is but it's probably the type of film i'd watch.
Steely Dan
2/5
just when you think it's safe and to listen to it hits you with some 70s harmonised singing.
Steve Winwood
2/5
all of these songs sound like the music over the rolling credits of a film featuring paul hogan.
Roxy Music
4/5
exactly what you expect from roxy music, some good stuff and some arty farty mad stuff.
can't complain
Michael Jackson
1/5
massive predatory nonce.
fingers little boys.
lets never forget that.
musically, the first two tracks are huge but the rest of this album is garbage and he's got a right whiny voice that is unpleasant to listen to.
also he built a theme park so he could entice children and he paid parents to allow him to have his rapey sleepovers.
fuck him.
Hanoi Rocks
2/5
red leicester, wensleydale, gouda, roquefort, stinking bishop and Hanoi Rocks.
a selection of cheeses.
after 5 songs this got incredibly tiring.
Lloyd Cole And The Commotions
3/5
i know i didn't hate this but i'm struggling to come up with anything to say about it.
The Waterboys
3/5
that's what i call high quality h2o.
but seriously this has a decent amount of work to do to become high quality.
it's middling.
The Black Crowes
2/5
that one that all the covers bands do is good even though i've heard it a million times.
the rest of this was so piss poor. like fucking turd.
its like they went on wikipedia and read the description for what blues rock is and decided to make it from that description without having ever listened to any music.
this band screams local pub gig on a saturday night.
really generic shit that will get the drunk people excited while the band all think they're the epitome of cool dressing up as the rolling stones and using their best rock star moves so nigel and janet will tell their mates about the really good band they saw in the red lion.
Nirvana
5/5
nothing much you can say about this that hasn't been said.
Destiny's Child
2/5
question.
did rathergood.com improves this song?
yes they did.
https://youtu.be/txz83WACjxY
this album well and truly shot its load with the first three songs. the disparity between the first three massive tracks that you still hear today and the rest of the album is astronomically large.
from 4 onwards is some of the most forgettable 2000s shite i've ever heard, and i've listened to little man tate.
Joy Division
5/5
best pair of oven gloves i've ever owned.
Liz Phair
1/5
i expected there to be some sort of hidden one hit wonder on here but we weren't even treated to that.
it's very shit.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
3/5
the curator of this list is clearly a costello fan as there is no way he has 3 of the 1001 albums by any other means.
that said, i didn't hate this as much as i did the previous one of his on here.
D'Angelo
1/5
imagine my disappointment when i found out this isn't about heroin.
Jane's Addiction
2/5
forgettable.
Tom Waits
4/5
tom waits is like a less vulgar version of our own Nigel Spackman.
thought i'd be sick to death of tom by now and live albums usually boil my piss, but this was by far the most enjoyable one of his seven millions albums on this list we've had and that's in spite of all the cool daddios whooping and clicking their fingers that you frequently hear.
Pulp
5/5
the track this is hardcore deserves 5 stars all on its own. i'm glad it wasn't accepted as the bond theme as its so much better being about mucky stuff than it is about a secret agent man.
Patti Smith
3/5
i love horses,
best of all the animals,
i love horses,
they're my friends!
https://youtu.be/lA13V84zOPI
Emmylou Harris
1/5
howdy,
i'm gon mosey on dooown to the ole railroad bridge and throw myself off to save my ears from this darn misery.
y'all be good now.
Frank Zappa
3/5
after the first few chords i was worried i was getting fast show jazz man 'nice!' stuff but luckily it went a different direction.
i was really enjoying this funky ass shit until it went off on one at the end.
well, Zappas gonna Zappa.
Scott Walker
2/5
all this makes me think of is going back to stockport (that's where it's at)
https://youtu.be/yKG8SSSAvPQ
Chicago
2/5
probably really good live but they couldn't write a hook line if their lives depended on it.
can't remember a single song of this and there was over an hour of it.
Stevie Wonder
3/5
couple of bangers but an otherwise forgettable album.
Nas
3/5
decent but not spectacular.
Kraftwerk
3/5
should have enjoyed this more than i did.
50 Cent
3/5
i didn't hate this which was a big surprise.
i mean there is far too many skits and liberal usage of the n word thrown about and its about 5 hours long so there is still a lot to hate about it.
it's also heavily linked to the shitty nightclubs i used to frequent in my teens so there must be some weird sympathy towards it.
The Isley Brothers
3/5
got more hits than John Lennon got in on his wife.
Anthrax
1/5
i went to see mogwai last night.
that was good, this is not.
A Tribe Called Quest
4/5
that beginning with the baby crying is like that grim level on Max Payne where you have to follow the blood trail to the sound of your screaming dead baby.
pretty good rest of the album and it's nice to see young men taking cholesterol seriously.
Bruce Springsteen
1/5
everything that Bruce does sounds the fucking same so how on earth can he have 3 albums on this list when its just the same song for 3 hours?
King Crimson
5/5
this was definitely as good as a larks tongue in a spack.
Love
4/5
bummer in the summer means something different in the uk.
a rare old album with more than 2 good songs on it and an even rarer one where 60s psychedelia isn't just cheesy annoying shit.
The Prodigy
4/5
Genetically, pedophiles have more genes in common with crabs than they do with you and me. Now that is scientific fact. There's no real evidence for it, but it is scientific fact.
Marianne Faithfull
2/5
that's the spirit marianne, get it all out there and bathe in the catharsis.
a shit listen but sounds like she needed to get that all off her chest so i'm down with that.
The Rolling Stones
4/5
that was easily the best rolling stones album we've had.
which is weird because it's basically a covers album.
Def Leppard
2/5
nakatomi plaza getting it from the leppards.
David Bowie
3/5
meh.
no idea if this was good or not, maybe another listen would help but i'll probably never get round to it.
Beatles
5/5
the best beatles album.
The Crusaders
2/5
what a fucking tune street life is.
the rest of the smooth jazz album not so much.
they definitely should have got Randy Crawford on more of their tracks.
The Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy
2/5
this just sounded like an NWA tribute act.
The Monkees
2/5
swinging.
Arcade Fire
2/5
it's been a while since i've heard some of these overplayed singles.
never really a fan of arcade fires schtick anyway so by the 3rd album i'm particularly bored of it.
The Stranglers
4/5
Enjoyed this.
All the big ones and the filler was pretty good too.
Bonnie Raitt
1/5
like Stevie nicks off wish.
Mudhoney
3/5
i should have loved this but it was a whole lot of the same noise with little variation.
The Rolling Stones
3/5
acceptable.
The United States Of America
3/5
what a fucking rubbish name for a band and album.
good amount of freaking out though.
The Icarus Line
4/5
sounds a bit like a lot of bands i like and it works.
heavy, noisy and messy, i bet these were good live.
Dolly Parton
1/5
yeee haw welcome to one star town, population any fucking cuntry album on this list.
Metallica
2/5
this album is pretty one dimensional.
I didn't really like that dimension.
Bob Dylan
2/5
very bland.
it's like he's gone down the tom waits road but isn't as cool a cat so has ended up with some MOR.
Black Flag
3/5
i should love henry rollins but something just doesn't click with me.
same thing with black flag.
2Pac
3/5
defo bigger cos he did a ded.
ZZ Top
4/5
beards!
Kanye West
2/5
Without knowing it I've heard half of this album in hockey changing rooms.
it used to be all about rock music but all these youngsters seem to need some of this shit to get them pumped up.
doesn't compute with my old brain but whatever, the yoof will inherit the earth.
it's his most coherent album and i can appreciate the production but i always struggle to listen to anything where the singer is a despicable prick.
Kanye is up in the higher echelons of gobshite dickheads that are unlistenable sat at the head table with Bonio and Chris Cunting Martin.
Happy Mondays
3/5
brilliant artwork,
fantastic album name,
mediocre album.
you could say its got me a bit bummed.
Dead Kennedys
5/5
Best American punk band.
The Fall
5/5
i had a beer with Mark E Smith once at some sort of "After Party" for a gig they did where my friends band supported them.
he was exactly as everyone has ever said he is.
i've met countless regulars in pubs with a vicious tongue and you never have a clue if they're being serious or not and that is the overall vibe Mark E gave off about the fall.
it's like he found out a scam where he could spend all his time in the pub by being in a band and he didn't want anyone else to find out his secret, which is probably why he sacked people so often, they got too close to his secret.
That they kept coming up with music that is so unique is absolutely mystifying. you expect this type of avant garde spiky post punk to come from an uber hipster not someone who looks and behaves like an accountant who's fallen on hard times that carries his stuff around in plastic carrier bags.
I probably should have tried a bit harder as he might have recruited me as another willing participant of the fall army.
The xx
3/5
this holds up better than i expected.
usually something as mad hyped as this is shit 5 years later but this is fairly pleasant listening, borderline boring but credit to them for pioneering this sound that so many others have gone off and built on.
Tori Amos
1/5
i know the name because of the massive dance track that sampled one of her tracks so i kind of assumed she might be alright.
well armand van helden has gone massively up in my estimations to have made such a tune from meagre pickings.
this album is shite.
it's like a 90s kate bush, and that's not a compliment.
Louis Prima
3/5
i'll have the new yorker pizza and a side of dough balls please.
Cream
3/5
that cockney shit at the end has just made me wretch.
The Fall
4/5
really not the best fall album, but how do you dip in to the catalogue and pick good ones without listening to them all?
Alice Cooper
2/5
musical theatre.
The 13th Floor Elevators
3/5
it started to feel very samey toward the middle of this album. i suspect that was more in part to do with the production technology and values of the day.
Erykah Badu
3/5
smoother than a veeted testicle.
Public Enemy
1/5
i reckon scott kelly gives all these albums such high marks because he's trying to get a pass for the N word.
Pink Floyd
5/5
there are two good pink floyd albums.
luckily this is one of them.
John Martyn
3/5
give it Woy until the end of the season.
Sonic Youth
5/5
not one of my regular sonic youth album choices but being made to listen to it today might have pushed it in to the regular go to category.
The Police
1/5
the cunting prototype for chris martin.
stings got to be a nonce right?
fucking acts like one.
Ryan Adams
1/5
dipped his toe in noncing this one.
the music is shite and i never understood why people bummed him so much, but time has shown they probably said he was good so he didn't do some sort of retaliation bumming or whatever shit it was he did.
Caetano Veloso
2/5
i actually listened to this one through.
it did have big nandos vibes running through it.
Portishead
5/5
i've already listened to this album twice this week anyway so that makes this the..... 3rd.
but for reals i listen to this regularly.
Astrud Gilberto
2/5
that's some early photoshop on the album cover.
she looks like the william shatner mask used for michael myers.
music got particularly samey, it's nice to hear one song like this but then you're sat there thinking this isn't as good as the girl from ipanema.
Kate Bush
3/5
give me the futureheads over this any day.
The Flaming Lips
4/5
it's enjoyable but it's not yoshimi battles the pink robots or at war with the mystics.
David Ackles
1/5
what have these sad showtunes got to do with the famous painting?
Tears For Fears
3/5
yeah, that's the 80s.
Joni Mitchell
2/5
another one of those really famous albums that does not interest me in the slightest.
Lupe Fiasco
2/5
the kick push song is good, but the rest of it is like kanye, which translates to shit.
The Birthday Party
3/5
this has elements of so much music i like but with absolutely no flow whatsoever.
Taylor Swift
1/5
the 3 genres i dislike the most are country, women with pianos and folk.
congratulations to this album for combining the 3 into one mega pile of horseshit.
there is nothing to salvage this music or the knob head that sings it.
Mercury Rev
3/5
they're like a less fun version of the flaming lips.
Rush
1/5
this is the soundtrack to an action bromance film about two LAPD detectives with a really high arrest rate and their mission to take down the kingpin of the gang peddling the new illegal drug that has the streets hooked.
i reckon the film is called "High 5" because there is a ridiculous amount of high 5s getting done.
its a shit film so it makes sense that the soundtrack would be shit too.
Q-Tip
4/5
decent.
Björk
1/5
this is the type of self important wank that Cerys Matthews gets a wide on for.
The Rolling Stones
3/5
its a shit sandwich.
tasty bready first and last tracks encasing a turd centre.
Led Zeppelin
3/5
kasmir is dead good but that's about it for this album.
fairly forgettable.
John Cale
1/5
hanky panky nohow anyone?
Traffic
4/5
congratulations on making a harpsicord fit seamlessly into a modern format.
the standard 60s fare is a bit boring but the rest of this is actually pretty strong.
The Killers
3/5
feels very weird listening to mr brightside while not in a provincial town pub in saturday night mode, you know where they turn some lights off , play the music louder and clear some tables for a 'dancefloor'.
this album has done a full roller coaster of going form being eagerly anticipated cool album to the wedding DJ classic shunned by anyone with an ounce of musical taste.
obviously i count myself in that category as my musical taste is superior to anyone else alive so these days i wouldn't choose to listen to this album but being made to i realise how steeped in nostalgia those first 5 tracks are for me as they take me back to my heyday when you couldn't move for indie clubs and in said indie clubs you would probably hear all of the first 5 tracks each night.
although i will have listened to the album back in the day i have absolutely no recollection of the second half. it must have been one of those that got turned off as soon as it hit the shit half.
who would have guessed hot fuss would be the album to make me waffle on like this? maybe its because its friday afternoon and i'm winding down for the weekend.
George Harrison
4/5
He definitely cottoned on how big here comes the sun was and ran with it.
Björk
3/5
amazingly i didn't hate this.
she's still as annoying as fook but at least there's some melodic value in this and not just some incoherent avant-garde warblings.
Frank Sinatra
2/5
would much rather listen to frank sidebottom.
Adele
1/5
I live in little old Blighty.
i don't have to listen to this album to know what this album sounds like, it was inescapable at the time and i'm pretty certain it won't have gotten any better.
Beyoncé
1/5
this album is particularly gash.
its a mish mash of shitty current rap styles with beyonces trademark warbling over the top with bags of #sass because #slay #queen.
fucking awful from a loathsome dick head.
Donovan
3/5
far out maaaan.
i once saw donovan at glastonbury. that makes me sound like i'm as old as the hills and was there in the 60s but i'm not, i saw him about 40 years later in 2002 (which also makes me old) when starsailor wheeled him out to do an absolutely forgettable duet.
upon listening to this album, apart from sunshine superman and season of the witch, that is probably because his music is nice enough but fairly forgettable.
Metallica
2/5
the more i hear of metallica the more i think they are what would happen if you asked AI to write some metal music.
either that's a compliment that they are genre defining or its an insult saying they are generic, either way i don't get it.
Ladysmith Black Mambazo
3/5
i have an overwhelming desire for some Heinz tomato soup.
Wild Beasts
1/5
the sound of this is what i imagine the taste of dish water to be.
actually i take that back, drinking dishwater would probably be quite memorable so this is probably more akin to drinking tepid water that was left in a bottle in the car for a week.
Kate Bush
1/5
this definitely deserves its place on the 1001 albums list because its fucking batshit mental.
i find her popularity as confusing as i do for the popularity bestowed on Prince.
i just don't get it.
Metallica
2/5
i find metallica incredibly one dimensional so this is clearly the best thing they've ever produced because an orchestra has come in with some new sounds.
that said i couldn't imagine sticking it out for 2 hours.
half an hour was more than enough of hetfield doing exactly the same thing over every fucking song.
R.E.M.
3/5
how the hell was this their 6th album?
REM have this knack of having a few songs that are grungey, interesting and really good surrounded by the most dull middle of the road boring shit.
In this albums case, orange crush, stand and pop song 89 are worth listening to, the rest of it is not.
SAULT
3/5
there's some nice really tunes in here but i'm not in to the lecturing nature of the lyrical content.
The Last Shadow Puppets
3/5
i do like miles kanes brand of 60s pop, but on the flip side i can't really be arsed with alex turners lounge lizard crooner thing, in fact i can't be arsed with anything alex turner has done since the debut arctic monkeys album.
3/5
i had absolutely no idea what this was going to sound like so i was pretty crestfallen when the unmistakable sounds of the 70s started falsetto singing its way in to my life.
some ok tracks but on the whole its more 70s crap from a band with one of the weakest band names i've ever heard.
Spacemen 3
4/5
i'm partial to a bit of spacemen 3 and their offshoots of spiritualised and spectrum and you can see their influence in bands like the brian jonestown massacre and all of the subsequent modern psych music that's about.
this album isn't quite as good as 'taking drugs to make music to take drugs to' which apart from being one of the best album titles ever invented is also spacemen 3s best album.
Dwight Yoakam
1/5
fuck off.
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
3/5
i can't remember much about this so that means it was neither awful nor brilliant.
Ride
4/5
i really want to give this a 5 but even though i put this album on every now and again i rarely see it out. vapour trail is like a warning that the next however many songs are fairly samey and more like a live sound.
that said, they are a very good live band but you need the added volume, the lights and the performance element to make it sound better.
live albums are rarely any good for that reason and Ride are more of a live band than a recorded one, much like all the other shoegaze bands.
5/5
that was way more fun than i expected.
the 80s really was the peak of bass playing.
Orbital
4/5
where time becomes a loop.
not actually a bad album considering it doesn't have any of the big ones on it.
i've seen oribital at one of their many 'last gig ever' things, i'm sure they'll be retiring for years to come.
Björk
1/5
cannot be arsed with byork at all.
i get the vibe that anyone who is in to bjork is so far up their own arse that they've become a mobius loop.
actually quite impressive.
Nick Drake
4/5
a really pleasant listen.
Tim Buckley
1/5
i think Tim misunderstood what the word happy means. some depressing shit right here.
Moby Grape
3/5
trashbat.cock yeah?
https://youtu.be/YyPfIDvvwU4
The Soft Boys
3/5
soft boys sounds like a euphemism for testicles.
the wikipedia article claims its psychedelic which seams like a stretch, it just feels like some fairly run of the mill post punk.
not bad but i couldn't really get on board with the singers style.
The Libertines
5/5
it's about 50% the strength of up the bracket and it was a let down from all the bootleg versions of most of these songs but it's still steeped in nostalgia and there's some cracking songs on there, even if the recordings of them feel a bit sanitised.
Common
4/5
It's nice to have a bit of mellow jazzy hip hop on as background music so there being no killer hookline or anything bombastic is a good thing.
The only thing to really grab the attention was Pops rap at the end.
his voice is like a beautiful slice of buttered toast.
Slayer
2/5
Does exactly what it says on the tin, its a Slayer album.
35 minutes is usually a quite short album but for something at this breakneck speed it actually feels like its a bit too long, I reckon they could definitely have got the point across in 20 minutes
Magazine
3/5
probably really different and cutting edge when it was released.
now (shot form both sides aside) it sounds fairly tired.
Snoop Dogg
5/5
wow, the first album i've listened to where the skits didn't make me want put knitting needles through my ear drums.
Orbital
4/5
pretty sure whatever i wrote about the last orbital album applies here, it'll be something along the lines of the biggest hits being on the first album but it's still a very solid album.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
5/5
I went to the uk tour for this album.
i don't think teenage not-nigel was quite ready for the full art rock onslaught of a microphone being shoved fully in karens gob while she screamed art star.
It also took a lot more aging and gigs attended to realise how impressive it is to make that much noise as essentially a guitar and drums combo.
album stands up very well with age too.
Nightmares On Wax
3/5
passed me by this one.
i've been reliably informed its for drug induced insomnia which really sells it to you for normal life.
Scritti Politti
1/5
this sounds like the lovechild of noncey jacko and phil collins.
it sounds just as horrific as both the mental image of them producing the lovechild and the lovechild itself.
Brian Eno
4/5
never knew how much of an influence Eno was on Mogwai.
there's a couple of tracks on here that sound so much like mogwai, or should i say that mogwai have tracks that sound a hell of a lot like Eno.
i think i prefer this eno to the pure ambience stuff he later got in to.
Slade
2/5
https://youtu.be/eWksvwqM3Ok
The Byrds
1/5
what the fuck happened here?
when did the Byrds, the 60s beat psychedelia merchants turn in to a bunch of huyk hyuk cleetus's?
its called cuntry for a reason.
Jazmine Sullivan
2/5
minge music.
Neil Young
4/5
yay, another offering from Neil Young.
that said, this is comfortably the best one we've had.
I'd actually go as far as to say i enjoyed it.
White Denim
4/5
my great white hope, now nothing but memories and what could have been.
the Ravel Morrison of alt rock bands.
back in the downloading of music days i used to have a load of pre album recordings of white denim and they were terrifyingly good.
a distorted, raucous, fast, exciting and messy 3 piece led by drums and bass powering along making pretty technical and difficult playing unnoticeable as it sounded so right.
they never bottled that madness on an album and they've got progressively less interesting. still technically gifted but that appears to be the point of them now, a demonstration on technical playing, no discernable 'sound' and no hooklines or songs to remember.
basically they've become a university music student band where the ability is through the roof but everything is by the book.
despite all my crying and the fixed memory that this album was disappointing, the passing of time and the fading of my initial mourning has shown me that this album is actually pretty good.
so what do i know about music?
absolutely nothing.
The Blue Nile
1/5
fucking hell this was bland.
De La Soul
3/5
couple of bangers but on the the general vibe is particularly uninspiring.
would fit right in with 2023s glasto lineup.
Beck
4/5
weird beck is the best kind of beck.
this album is semi weird and conveniently for the listener beck has put all the good weird stuff at the beginning so you can fuck off the second half and only lose one song worth listening to.
Shivkumar Sharma
3/5
tabla sound cool any time any place
however you really have to be in the mood for an album of sitar, either that or fucking baked.
Mike Oldfield
1/5
fuck me this is boring.
Miles Davis
3/5
it feels wrong that we can only rate this album in full integers as that's a bit disrespectful to this album that has been carefully curated to not allow you to feel at ease.
i also admire the vision that it took to write two tracks and play them both at the same time.
The Jam
4/5
which of these do you think Paul named the band after;
the musical terminology
Robertsons fruit preserves
a buildup of traffic, or
being a lucky cunt?
i think he just fucking loves golliwog dolls.
Throwing Muses
2/5
i forgot i'd listened to this.
that says everything about the album you need to know.
2/5
i don't reckon any ghetto sounds like this outside of a james bond film.
Buck Owens
1/5
i managed half of a verse of the opening track.
fuck cuntry.
however the youtubes did lead me to an oz band called Tiger by the Tail and they have a self titled album that is a pleasant discovery of some early 2000s wall of noise. .
Todd Rundgren
2/5
felt like i'd been listening to this for hours, checked and i was on track 2.
Kate Bush
1/5
fucking hell, how many kate bush albums are there?
PJ Harvey
3/5
they chose this PJ harvey album and not stories from the city, stories from the sea?
i suppose it does have some weird ye olde vibe going on that is pretty unique, but its by no means what you should listen to first to get in to Polly.
Astor Piazzolla
1/5
you know when you've been tangoed.
i prefer the original recipe with maximum sugar as teeth are for losers.
The Mothers Of Invention
3/5
better than the average 60s psychedelia but it looks like zappa took his time to truly find his weird feet.
Mariah Carey
1/5
would rather 2023 jodie marsh.
Iggy Pop
4/5
dinner shagger.
Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
1/5
good work list.
this is something well outside the norm for what i listen to and this will remain outside the norm for what i listen to.
The Fall
5/5
i wish i'd been in the fall.
i'd probably have been booted out after a couple of weeks of taking shit form MES but still, what a badge of honour.
Pulp
5/5
This album definitely is different class.
The Pretty Things
4/5
a decent mash up of decent sounds from the 60s.
Jack White
3/5
he just hasn't worked out what it is he does post white stripes.
the guy can write some killer riffs and still writes a decent song, but he's clearly got too many interests to be as focused as he was in the white stripes days so as a result this album is a bit of a mish mash and way too busy.
there's some really good songs on here but most of them would have been done better in the stripped down white stripes style.
i completely understand that that format had reached its conclusion and any more white stripes music would have lessened the legacy but he's writing the slower ballady songs (about half this album) in the same way.
they're written as if it was the bloke and his ex wife singing something heartfelt and vulnerable and then he's whacked a load of extra instruments and singers on to it losing the point of the song.
and to add insult to injury some of the experimental guitar sounds bits end up sounding a bit matt bellamy.
Thelonious Monk
3/5
the best thing about Thelonious Monk is that its the name of a dude and not a band name.
what a heroic name.
as for the music, well i don't have a jazz ear but this is fair enough background music.
Waylon Jennings
1/5
CUNT TREE
Peter Gabriel
2/5
most interesting thing about this is that its nickname is melty face.
Bee Gees
2/5
SHACK is a bee gee
Hot Chip
3/5
very meh.
as a band they've got enough for a really banging live set, but it never seems to have transposed in to album format.
N.E.R.D
2/5
the 2000s were so sleazy.
Ozomatli
3/5
not my cheese but i don't hate it.
looks like i can add the broad spectrum of latino music to my list of genres that don't tickle my pickle.
Stan Getz
2/5
smoother than a veeted testicle.
Supertramp
2/5
all of this sounds really close to a song you know really well, but is never actually that song.
Aerosmith
3/5
who the fuck was singing half of that album?
we all know what aerosmith sound like and well over half this album wasn't them.
that has really thrown me. i can't decide if i liked it or not because i was just desperately trying to picture it being sung by the aerosmiths.
Bill Callahan
1/5
thanks to this list i now know that bill callahan is a shitty country version of tom waits.
CHVRCHES
2/5
i remember these being all the rage when they were out but i never got involved.
It sounds like some sort of Taylor Swift prototype, a precursor of the misery to come.
Red Snapper
4/5
it bugs me when the compiler chooses an album from an obscure artist that isn't really their best one.
for red snapper its got to be making bones.
Einstürzende Neubauten
2/5
this is frustrating stuff.
they've got the sounds, they've clearly got some sort of ethos/attitude, but they don't have anything close to a song.
a bit of a hook or something resembling a purpose for each track is completely missing.
so it ends up sounding like something you'd stumble across in an art gallery or museum that you just clearly aren't arty enough to understand.
The Byrds
3/5
the compiler loves the byrds almost as much as SHACK loves riding shotgun in a porsche.
The Adverts
2/5
fucking hell this is average at best.
this was done a lot better by the undertones and the buzzcocks.
Jimi Hendrix
4/5
i can't decide if i like the sloppy live style recording or not.
On one hand it really highlights how good Jimi was but on the other hand there are songs that needed way more refining before they were put on record.
some of the tracks are absolute worldies.
Germs
3/5
we've had too much of this generic punk this week so i'm a bit numb to it.
this is probably better than the others but my critique is the guitar is pretty much redundant as its shitty high gain tone masks any change of chord making it an indecipherable blaring hiss at the top end.
i know its punk but a bit of nuance wouldn't go amiss.
Laura Nyro
2/5
this isn't an album its a portfolio of Lauras singing abilities.
i spent it veering wildly from enjoying her voice to wishing she'd shut up.
the latter opinion wins out in the end.
Serge Gainsbourg
3/5
oui.
tres bien.
Nick Drake
4/5
that took me y surprise, i was expecting grim misery songs but that was really pleasant.
might actually listen to that again.
Guided By Voices
4/5
i do like a bit of lo-fi, but they've gone and done that thing where they release everything they recorded on one album.
a bit of selection would have had a seriously strong 10-12 track album that i probably would have held dear to my heart as a masterpiece, but 28 tracks makes any genre sound drab and repetitive.
In fact i'm actually annoyed about this. i want a greatest hits version of this album.
Al Green
4/5
man that voice is like butter.
shot his load too early though.
when you've got an all time worldie track you really need it later in the album because everything played after it just isn't as good.
Jacques Brel
1/5
for those over the pond this is what the eurovision song contest used to sound like in the 60s.
The Divine Comedy
3/5
this was alright, but i can't help but feel sad it isn't the national express 7 times.
Calexico
1/5
this is bad.
the world does not need an hour and a half of latino country music.
and that album cover looks like the type of homemade shit people try to flog to you down market street in manchester.
Ananda Shankar
2/5
the sitar is a cool sounding instrument for one maybe two tracks, a full album is like having a shack full of SHACKs.
The Cure
5/5
the song about Dave Forest is really good.
in general this early post punk short back and sides Cure is very good.
Sonic Youth
4/5
its a hit and miss album.
there are a few tracks on here with absolutely no purpose.
3/5
what an enigmatic band these guys are.
heavy rock guitarist who wears masks and big goth outfits
6 string bass player (weird)
a wiki wiki wiki scratch DJ
a drummer with a kit the size of small country
and fred durst
these people shouldn't be in a band together, i don't have a clue how they met, but weirdly they landed in that rare band place where every member adds something to the whole that improves it.
i dislike most of this album but considering how much shit they get as a band (mostly because fred was a grade A bell end) i respect what they did.
they created a genre, admittedly one that was a bit shit, but they're quite a tight band and the downtempo stuff is genuinely nice to listen to.
so that said, i'm of to go and break stuff.
Echo And The Bunnymen
4/5
decent but absolutely nothing that stands out.
the donny van de beek of albums.
Jimmy Smith
2/5
SHACK!
why isn't this alum a reggae one like the cover suggests?
The Vines
5/5
this album was weirdly pivotal to me in that it was one of the first albums i got really in to that was 'heavier' than my usual musical fare.
That synopsis puts this album weirdly into the category of gateway music.
Alexander 'Skip' Spence
2/5
some of the beatnik shit was alright but it veered a lot in to the noncey territory of folk and country music.
The Associates
1/5
bap de la bap.
what a fucking mess of an album.
disappointed i didn't get some banging 80s basslines and rolled up pastel blazer vibes.
Fiona Apple
1/5
she's shit isn't she.
i think she's a safe bet to put on my list for potential wrong uns.
Ms. Dynamite
3/5
where the hell did she disappear to?
she was the biggest thing since SHACKs birth when she was around.
I was going to give credit for winning the mercury music prize but then i saw that the fucking Klaxxons won it so it's clearly a piss take prize if those spastics won it.
anyway, this album was way better than i expected from an early 2000s urban artist.
you expect some sort of 'Boots with the fuuurrrrrr' bullshit but there was more to this.
Neil Young
2/5
yay, it's neil young again.
sounding just like all the other neil young offerings.
apparently neil has written 99% of the 1001 albums you should listen to.
Steely Dan
2/5
i thought these generic 70s albums were supposed to have at least one killer track to go with all the filler?
Pentangle
1/5
folk nonces
Holger Czukay
4/5
wonderfully batshit.
like captain beefheart refined by some berlin bowie.
Dexys Midnight Runners
2/5
can't be arsed with Kevins voice at all and i'm clearly not as in to brass as this lot are.
4/5
decent background music.
Skepta
3/5
after having Ms dynamite (ee hee) on the list last week i realised i had no idea who had won the mercury music prize in probably the last decade so went on a bit of a discovery mission which included this album.
it's like i'm mystic meg and i predict the future.
it's surprisingly listenable considering i am incredibly not urban and 100% not in to London as a thing or culture.
the closest i get to being londonese is when i say peas and foooood like in Top boy.
The Smiths
5/5
fucks me off that every time i want to listen to the majesty of the Smiths i have to internally justify it that when it was written it was written by a liberally minded anti-thatcher man and not the fucking media hungry right wing nut job he has become.
the first half of this album is brilliant but the second half sounds like a band on its way out that has run out of ideas. so as much as i love the smiths it's one of those occasions where its better for us all that they didn't stay together and churn out an album every few years a la rolling stones.
if Death of a disco dancer was released post grunge we'd be saying they were influenced by it. which is an arse about tit way of saying the smiths did grunge before grunge.
love peace and harmony? very nice. maybe in the next world.
Jane Weaver
5/5
bit of a manc legend is Jane.
this album is probably her best offering in about 20 years of releasing music and its genuinely good.
i'd like to think if the list has dipped its toes into the modern psych scene that it might hit us with one of the behemoths from the scene like BJM or King gizz but something tells me this will be it.
Anita Baker
2/5
it's not for me.
Duke Ellington
2/5
i bet this got people turnt in 1956.
The xx
2/5
it's like lift music.
its a collection of sounds that don't offend but also don't arouse any interest.
The Cult
1/5
the fuck kind of joke is this?
make us listen to a full album of incredibly average local rock pub rock made for men in faded black van halen t shirts and stonewashed jeans on the proviso that you will get to hear she sells sanctuary to then not be sold any sanctuary at all.
my emotions have been toyed with in a way that is unreasonable.
The Residents
1/5
what was the purpose in releasing this album?
genuinely anyone with a low level of musical instrument playing ability with the recording equipment at their disposal could come up with something on a par with this.
it's not musical, it's just fucking about.
why would anyone choose to listen to this?
Frankie Goes To Hollywood
3/5
shite sandwich of an album
started off like it was going to be a secret banger of an album, but then for that tasty tasty shite filling.
no idea what the point of the cover versions in the middle were all about and how it fit into this heavily dance orientated album.
Christina Aguilera
2/5
man the 2000s was a wild time.
i really don't like this style of music at all and i had to suffer a load of it in the early days of my drinking career.
thank fuck for the lack of cameras in shitty satellite town nightclubs.
i dread to picture how young not-nigel used to woo the women in this environment.
Giant Sand
1/5
Looked like indie, sounded an awful lot like cuntry.
Cunts.
Van Morrison
1/5
Yay, a live album for an absolute bell end.
get fucked.
TV On The Radio
4/5
yeah, pretty good.
The White Stripes
2/5
i'm a white stripes fan, but this album is comfortably their shittest album.
started to believe his own hype didn't he.
it's like he just forgot to bother actually writing any songs so just jabbed at his guitar and when he wasn't doing that he was fucking around on a marimba.
nonsense album.
Christina Aguilera
1/5
with two Xtina (remember that?) albums in a week the algorithms gonna think i'm a fan of women singing about being a bit slaggy.
AI probably thinks i want to listen to WAP.
Hüsker Dü
2/5
what the fuck?
why did i think husker du were darker than this?
this is like halfway between dinosaur junior and REM and i not in a particularly good way.
Blood, Sweat & Tears
1/5
its sounds like parody music, it just makes me think of Vic Reeves singing in a club style.
i would expect to see Brian Potter getting Jerry to sing some of these.
The Beau Brummels
1/5
more folk noncing.
Primal Scream
5/5
been on a bit of a downer on the scream recently as i've come to the realisation that Bobby Gillespie is a bit of a bell end.
always kind of knew it but i read his book and he proper gives it the big i am about being right on and makes out like he's some enlightened being when really he's a ned who will take what he can and shaft people along the way, like his former band mates.
revisiting this album though has calmed those feelings and replaced them with the question of how the fuck do a bunch of glaswegian bag heads come up with something like this?
when you look at the screams back catalogue they've hopped genre almost every album and done it successfully. as much as i think he's a lucky chancer he must have something about him to have made the albums they've made.
Big Black
4/5
SHACK doesn't like the title of this album as he feels nervous using the B word, whereas Scott Kelly thinks he already has his B word pass and is pushing to get his N word pass.
Super Furry Animals
3/5
falls off the cliff a bit this album.
you could say it is like a cable car of kids hanging precariously over SHACKs pakistani canyon.
Rufus Wainwright
2/5
music for people who are in to music but are too safe to listen to anything interesting.
KISS
2/5
are KISS just a big joke that i don't quite understand?
like some of their music appears to be real but the majority of it is spinal tap turned up to 11.
what is the overriding emotion of someone who actively chooses to listen to kiss?
is it respect? awe? introspection? laughter?
they confuse the fuck out of me.
Method Man
4/5
think i prefer this to actual wu tang.
Slipknot
4/5
i had work done today to fix a titanium insert into my skull for attaching a replacement tooth to.
this felt appropriate.
and for the record it was knocked out by being really cool and not by doing something that a tosser would do.
Minor Threat
3/5
mackaye has a pretty one dimensional vocal range.
basically he manages to make all of the songs sound the same even though there is a decent amount of variety for a straight up fast punk band.
Echo And The Bunnymen
3/5
i wanted this to be better than it was.
in the end it spaffed it's load after the first song and then proceeded to be the same sound for a whole album.
The KLF
3/5
considering how much the guardian bum these as if they're some forward thinking enigmas i expected more from this album.
Beastie Boys
4/5
this album is comfortably the best one i've heard from the Beastie Boys, in fact i'd probably go as far as to say i enjoyed this one.
LTJ Bukem
5/5
this is right up my street and i look forward to playing it out of my car stereo that has a sub woofer taking up half the boot.
yeah, that's right, i am a grown man and i have a car stereo with a sub woofer.
no i am not a nonce that hangs around in McDonalds car parks.
Michael Jackson
1/5
fucking nonce.
i still don't understand why wacko jacko has a free pass at being respected and adored when he was a top nonce.
Bebel Gilberto
2/5
more Brazilian stuff on this list than i expected.
this one is fairly similar to the others and i would have a job separating them.
Shack
1/5
SHACK!
this band is comfortably the worst thing called shack and i think there should be a copywrite infringement case put in about this dirge.
how the fuck was anyone writing music like this in 99 and even worse how did this get into the list?
i was alive in 99 and invested heavily into listening to music and generally guitar music but i have never heard this shite before.
Ali Farka Touré
2/5
middle of the bill at WOMAD.
The Beta Band
5/5
One of the best live bands i've ever seen.
at one point they had two drum kits being played by 4 people and it somehow sounded brilliant and nowhere near as ridiculous as the concept of 4 drummers on two kits sounds.
i also saw the aliens headline the park stage at glasonbury and that was up there as one of my best festival gigs ever too.
can't help but think they were in the wrong era, bands that do similar things to them these days appear to be much bigger than the beta band ever got to.
Joanna Newsom
1/5
i want to call this minge music, but i don't even think minges want to listen to this.
Le Tigre
4/5
well this has stood up pretty well for something that was uber cool in its day.
The Dandy Warhols
3/5
never been in to the dandys like i probably should.
I mean i know anton newcombe can be a prick but he was right about them selling out.
Dandy's rule ok was a genuinely good album but this one is a classic example of all the jagged edges being smoothed and the grime cleaned off leaving some sanitised bland airplay worthy muzak that has none of what the original band had.
at least its not some more folk nonce or neil fucking young.
Janet Jackson
1/5
i bet she touches kids too.
Syd Barrett
2/5
if you asked me if i thought the writer of this album had lost his mind by hammering LSD straight in to his third eye then my answer would be yes because no one who listens to this thinks its anything other than the ramblings of the weirdo at the back of the real ale pub that you desperately try to ignore.
Marvin Gaye
3/5
i'll tell you what's going on, a classic 70s album style of 2 hits and a load of filler.
I know its a protest album and that's cool but it doesn't really do a lot for me.
GZA
5/5
this is a belter of an album.
It's better than almost all of the other wu-tang stuff, collective or solo.
Daft Punk
3/5
is repeating the same joke about repetition showing higher levels of wit or stupidity?
is it a meta joke where the repeating of the joke hammers home the comedy of the original repetition or is it just plain unoriginal and lacking in ingenuity?
Is me questioning it also part of the meta or am i retarded for going down this road?
why do i bother?
Ali Farka Touré
3/5
SHACK listens to this while he's wet and naked with TRENT.
Malcolm McLaren
3/5
this is so batshit.
I always thought mclaren was just a bit of a shock jock attention creating manager who got publicity through cheap tricks, but it turns out he seems to give a shit about music and bringing a whole new sound over to the uk.
it does seem a bit generous for him to put his own name on the album as he's clearly more of a curator than creator but he's done a decent job of mashing this together.
I'd usually mark down for the skits, but i actually liked the shitty radio phone in.
Justin Timberlake
2/5
trousersnake with his pervert music.
i'm well out of the loop on anything but is this music the type of stuff that these days gets cancelled for being creepy, like blurred lines?
the big hits on this album were the nonsense music that young not nigel had to endure when going to bars and clubs as a youngling.
like some sort of coming of age endurance test.
Love
3/5
dunno how they managed to get two albums on the list.
but yeah, whatever, it's like a bag for life filled with tepid water.
The Psychedelic Furs
3/5
This album shares its trajectory with the career of Michael Ricketts.
a spurt at the beginning and then just slowly gets shitter as time goes by.
XTC
1/5
this rock hard fortnight long constipation turd of an album makes me yearn for the classic 70s style 2 hits and filler album.
XTC have 2 decent songs, neither of them were on this utter wank.
this is so shite i'm annoyed i had to listen to it.
Dirty Projectors
1/5
wow, a genuinely new to me genre.
Minge music sung by a man.
lets call it Mangina music.
King Crimson
3/5
you know who is a 21st century schizoid man?
SHACK.
The Good, The Bad & The Queen
3/5
the sum of the parts really should have made this better than it is.
the dubby bits were really good but its so fucking wet in parts.
seeing as how the new blur album has come out its pretty apparent where the limp element of this outfit comes from.
different singer and this could have been great.
Sugar
2/5
why does this sound like an average quality sitcom?
The Hives
5/5
somehow i've never seen these play.
Sparks
1/5
i respect sparks for being fucking mental.
however this music is everything shit about the 70s.
Falsetto never sounds good but the 70s was fucking dripping in it.
The Notorious B.I.G.
3/5
i expected so much more from this album considering how 'notorious' he is.
i mean for starters i fucking hate this kind of skit on an album. what the fuck are they for? does it set the scene? is it performance art? or is it just some teenage mentality way of trying to make yourself look cool?
so points off for that and also for the amount of time talking about bitches.
he talks that much about bitches and shagging that it sounds like a cover up from someone who is bitchless.
couple of decent tracks but the whole thing is forgettable apart from claiming he'll blow up like world trade.
defo something Q anon could get on board with.
biggy isn't dead and he did 11/9.
Goldie
4/5
L I Q U I D
The Sensational Alex Harvey Band
2/5
i'm actually impressed by how little of a fuck i give about listening to this album.
i must done the sum total of a minute of it.
G. Love & Special Sauce
4/5
my levels of confusion here are through the roof.
he's fucking insufferable with his whiteboy funk/rap shtick.
But...
for some reason i really enjoyed it.
The rhythm section is really strong and give him his dues, he's pretty good on guitar and it all works together with his street lazy singing thing.
i also love the really tight band that sounds sloppy thing.
every problem i have with this band is his accent/ way of singing.
Is this just what Philadelphia is like?
everything i've heard of the place is that it's full of not rights.
Digital Underground
1/5
this cunt calls himself Humpty Hump.
is there any more to say?
Sepultura
2/5
it's well impressive that anyone can play the drums that fast, but that doesn't mean it sounds good.
that really fast kick snare kick snare thing always fucks with the flow of a song as it always sounds like a different tempo to everything else that is going on.
Britney Spears
2/5
who the fuck knew brocolli spears did a cover of the beat goes on? wild.
it's not even an altered version, it's just a direct singalong to the all seeing i version that was released a year earlier.
were they trying to make her hip or something?
anyway that aside, it's nice to see that churning 16 year olds through the 90s pop machine creates such stable individuals.
Soft Machine
2/5
i reckon this would only make much sense if you had a monstrous bowl of narcotics.
might buy it on vinyl and head to La Paz to get on it with Manny Pacquaio.
Joni Mitchell
3/5
it's Joni Mitchell doing Joni Mitchells thing.
i neither love nor hate Joni Mitchells thing.
U2
1/5
I know what U2 are and this list is not going to make me listen to them.
Bonio and the hedge can fuck right off.
Leonard Cohen
1/5
i'm not really in to the whole adoration of lenny thing.
his voice is incredibly boring.
maybe he's a good songwriter, his songs have sounded decent when sung by someone else.
but not sung by him.
Richard Hawley
2/5
doesn't even have his big hit on.
Super Furry Animals
5/5
do you know what is a super furry animal?
Your mums rat.
Big Star
2/5
it is absolutely no surprise that punk happened in the 70s.
i would have lost my mind when access to music was way harder than it is today and the world was awash with this type of wank.
Gram Parsons
1/5
is it really that hard to pronounce graham?
Can
3/5
that unnecessarily long intro reminds me of the second coming by the stone roses, or should i say i now know where the roses got that intro from.
the album in general did a whole lot of not very much.
Suede
2/5
not now Bernard.
a right moaning cunt is brett.
The Mothers Of Invention
3/5
occasionally some music broke out and it was acceptable.
the rest of it reminded me of SHACKs internal monologue.
Leftfield
4/5
do i buy country life butter....
open up is a pretty epic track but it's a stand alone belter on this album the rest is nicely produced but fairly forgettable.
Rhythm and stealth is a far superior album.
that said it's better than 70% of the shite on this list.
Iron Maiden
2/5
iron maiden are like the S Club 7 of rock music.
i should hate it with every bone in my body for its cheese metal background, theatrical singing and overly cheerful disposition but for some unknown reason i don't.
the bit that completely ruins my brain is the attitude given off by the stonewashed jeans, battle jacket clad ale drinkers in the rock pub and the ridiculous comedy music that iron maiden produce.
it just doesn't go together.
Sepultura
3/5
none of those squealy guitars and ultimate speed drumming so as metal goes this is fairly acceptable.
Tito Puente
2/5
this made me dance my dick off.
the rest of the customers in frankie and bennys didn't really appreciate my style.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
1/5
how the fuck has elvis bastard costello got 3 albums on this list?
i don't really have much against him but i've heard this ponies one trick way too many times already.
Madness
3/5
cor blimey, come and have a gander at my trombone.
i'm a cockney, i'm a cockney, i'm a cockney.
Bob Dylan
4/5
as bob goes this was fairly decent.
you really have to be in the mood for him though.
Brian Eno
3/5
the naming of the album is absolutely perfect.
it's like purgatory, which is very often how airports feel.
Public Image Ltd.
2/5
ooh the original edge lord john having a pop at religion.
it's just copying the thing that went well in the past but it's no longer original and not as good.
Peter Gabriel
2/5
hey millennials you were probably conceived to this awful music.
Picture your dad going at it to sledgehammer.
PJ Harvey
4/5
it's PJ Harvey doing a PJ Harvey rock album.
its decent, probably gets better with more listens.
Drive Like Jehu
4/5
you know who commits loads of Yanking crimes?
SHACK does.
Mylo
4/5
do you remember how astronomically large drop the pressure was when this was released?
it was SHACK proportions.
Sleater-Kinney
3/5
this tribute to jello biafra is acceptable.
Paul Simon
3/5
paul got that jungle fever before it was cool.
this album gave me an overwhelming desire to purchase some Heinz baked beans.
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
1/5
Fuck off
and when you think you're done fucking off why don't you fuck off a little bit more.
cuntry music is awful.
Scott Walker
2/5
I'm guessing the people who love Leonard Cohen love Scott Walker.
that person aint me.
New York Dolls
2/5
i've got 3 albums to go and the majority of the 1001 has been shite.
this album perfectly sums up the whole list.
a supposedly genre defining album that is completely uninteresting.
something that was surely exciting and raw when it was new but is now stuck as a bang average record when you remove the visual, their lifestyle, where it was from and pretty much any context.
i bet i get 3 more neil fucking young albums to finish the list off.
3/5
Nigel SHACKman.
thank fuck this wasn't Neil Young again.
Radiohead
5/5
what a beauty this album is.
album number 1000 for me on the list.
the excitement over what treat could possibly await as album 1001 is palpable.
If it's anything other than the seminal 'Up & Down : the party album' by the Vengaboys i will be sorely disappointed.
Rocket From The Crypt
3/5
if this album was any more Scott Kelly it'd be balls deep in a monkey while a thai bride is fighting off a coked up manny pacquiao for the insurance policy.
in other news, my money is on Spackman being Dave.
Bobby Womack
2/5
album 1002.
there aint no way anything from this point onwards is even remotely good.
this is like the aural equivalent to mbueno of brentford.
Paul Revere & The Raiders
2/5
any of these 60s bands could have become as big as the beatles but none of them developed from this.
stepping stone is beast though.
Fairport Convention
1/5
folk off you bunch of nonces.
Saint Etienne
5/5
St etienne are one of those bands i never got round to actually listening to so this is the impetus to go and do that as this is pretty bloody good.
David Bowie
4/5
this is the type of Bowie i can get along with.
However that cover of across the universe is bobbins. .
Elvis Presley
2/5
yes. that is what Elvis sounds like.
everything went as expected and there was no last chance nick powell to save the day.
David Gray
2/5
ol' wobbly head, the james Blunt prototype, the first ever singer song writer in history.
remember when this music was the soundtrack to any hardship on TV in the the 2000s?
everything but the singles is turgid, but i bet he's got a bloody lovely house from it.
The Zutons
5/5
i used to love this when it came out.
probably down to living in Liverpool and meeting Dave McCabe a few times.
however in hindsight if it wasn't for the saxamaphone they would have fallen straight into the post La's scouse music trap where any band from liverpool after the La's just sounds like the La's.
Dinosaur Jr.
3/5
i'm sure we've already had a dinosaur jr album.
no idea how they could have two.
some good, some bad.
Cee Lo Green
1/5
his voice sounds like a childs, which is probably on purpose because he gives off huge nonce vibes.
Joe Ely
1/5
shove it up yer bollocks.
Neneh Cherry
2/5
premature ejaculation of an album.
spaffed its load before we'd even got the booklet out of the CD case.
Doves
5/5
probably a better album than their more commercially successful ones.
Alanis Morissette
2/5
i feel empowered to go kick some ass and i aint gonna let no man get in my way.
angry minge music.
on the plus side, remember the 90s when you got more than 2 singles out of an album? that was a good thing.
The Thrills
3/5
i bet i've seen these play at some festival somewhere.
to give them their dues the singles are all pretty decent and i appreciate them putting all the big hitters on early so i can fuck off the rest of it when it when they ran out of ideas.
Talk Talk
2/5
massive single.
rest of the album is wet.
Kings of Leon
2/5
the album where they decided they wanted to make some money and wrote some generic stadium rock music.
i think that's technically called selling out, but considering how the 2nd and 3rd album were nowhere near as good as youth and young manhood it was a bit of a hail mary that paid off.
the 2000s are littered with bands with a good first album that couldn't replicate it and disappeared after underwhelming follow ups so the fact they got a 4th stab meant it was all or nothing, repay the record label with sales or fall away into memory and split up.
its utter generic garbage music but i respect that they did what they had to do.
Scissor Sisters
2/5
it's just Thomas the Tank Engine.
The Damned
3/5
how do you like your thrash punk?
with a side of goth, rockabilly, lounge jazz and glam rock please.
some weird combos but it kind of works.
Sheryl Crow
2/5
i have mad respect for shez and her ability to make a whole career from all i wanna do.
the rest of this album is absolute and utter horse wank.
each track gave me that instant turn this shit of vibe.
Public Image Ltd.
2/5
do i buy country life butteeeer?
actually enjoyed the backing music but lydons vocals made me imagine what it would be like to insert a knitting needle through one ear and out the other.
Kings of Leon
4/5
better than i remembered.
In hindsight it would have been nigh on impossible to write something as good as youth and young manhood.
Gotan Project
4/5
almost really good.
just veers a bit too close to 'do you wanna buy a dog' territory.
Brian Eno
3/5
you know who spends loads of time rummaging around in the bushes of ghosts?
SHICK.
Any holes a goal though ey SHICK?
1/5
this album leaves me pretty far away from being ecstatic.
Cocteau Twins
2/5
i've not got much insight or humour left.
VAR has ground me down.
Meat Puppets
3/5
you know who lives and breathes Meat Puppets?
SHICK does.
SHICK is all about delicious puppets of meat poured all over him while he is in a bath full of chicken Bisto.
he feels like the beef flavour is to hearty for him.
don't get him started on Bovril.
The Darkness
2/5
let this be a lesson to us all not to ignore the existence of 70s/80s hair metal/ cock rock.
if you don't pay it attention a shitty tribute act will do a pastiche of it all and it'll all be ironically funny until its not and they haven't fucked off yet.
in the 2000s it was the Darkness but be warned there are hundreds of these bands lurking in the shadows waiting for it to be ironic again.
the cycle of times suggests once everyone gets sick of being woke and cancelling each other shit will get wild again, that's when they'll strike.
Girls Against Boys
3/5
fucking terrible name.
it's got nothing on pocononce.
Weather Report
2/5
in choosing to go through this list i thought i might broaden my musical horizons.
what it has actually done has entrench my previous opinions and the list has become a chore of forcing myself to listen to things that i know quite quickly that i don't like.
case in point, this jazz willy waving nonsense.
Madonna
1/5
Ali G innit.
my memory must be fucked but wasn't madges version of american pie fucking huge when it was released?
it's absolutely horrific.
as is most of this album.
Goldfrapp
3/5
stepped out of the disco disco phase and in to direct competition with zero 7 and morcheeba.
Django Django
5/5
if this album was a coat it would be arsene wengers height crossed with ian wrights depth.
basically a massive arse coat.
Cowboy Junkies
1/5
nominative determination.
the only people who will listen to this shite are cowboys or junkies.
Kraftwerk
2/5
its nice to think that in the 70s people pretended to be robots to make music that sounds incredibly human.
i wonder what they would think of the musical hellscape that computers and AI have landed us with in the current day?
Ministry
3/5
this is the type of shit that calls pocononce out of the jungle for his annual reproductive season.
JAY Z
1/5
what the fuck is he going on about?
he's waffling on and on and all i can get out of it is that he's fucking mint and everyone else is a gimp.
the only blueprint i'm getting off this is a blueprint for rap music for girls.
Robert Wyatt
1/5
schlep.
William Orbit
3/5
nice sounds, doesn't really do anything or go anywhere.
The Specials
5/5
it's hard to follow up a debut album as good as theirs but this does a pretty decent effort.
Basement Jaxx
2/5
i once saw primal scream at glastonbury and they were off their fucking tits so over ran their time slot.
upon being kicked off the stage by security, Bobby Gillespie referred to basement jaxx as basement joke which is appropriate for this album.
then someone super upper class ponce with no understanding of glaswegian stood behind me and loudly proclaimed, 'Primal scream, you are a disgrace!' and that is the epitome of how gap yah glastonbury was in the 2000s.
Paul McCartney
2/5
thank fuck the Beatles ended when they did.
it would have a been a shame if the Beatles ended up putting their name to something as bland a this,
OutKast
3/5
at their best when they don't take themselves seriously, but 24 tracks and a solid 8 skit tracks, i mean come on.
Rufus Wainwright
1/5
this sounded exactly as i expected.
not a compliment.
David Bowie
3/5
meh.
i bet this gets high numbers for being dead star.
The Bees
3/5
SHACK eats bees.
lures them to him using his nipple pollen and then uses his remarkably lizard like tongue to snaffle them up.
Blue Cheer
2/5
imagine my disappointment when i spotted the extra E and it wasn't blue cher.
Minutemen
2/5
i was actually quite enjoying this until i realised how fucking long it was.
I'd rather eat bees than listen to 45 tracks.
The Band
3/5
Did this album warrant a snarky cutting review.
Not really.
The weight is a jam though, I'm down with that.
Certainly not as good as lamb chops and painful ejaculations.
Ash
4/5
for some unknown reason despite having seen ash play i have never listened to this album.
it's like a love letter to the 90s, in all the songs that aren't ashs big hits you can pick another big act from the 90s that the song sounds like.
So either ash are trend setters giving all the others inspiration, or they're musical magpies. not an insult oasis made a career of that.
I like how amateur and garage band it all is.
I bet Brian McClair loved this album.
Tom Tom Club
4/5
this had me dancing round like i had crab infested pubes.
The Streets
2/5
did you ever think aftershocks would get immortalised in song?
storyline for the concept - dogshit
rapping - dogshit
song about pills - class
i hope we get daphne and celestes album next.
Lorde
1/5
i've not had to listen to any minge music for a long time.
does she have a speech impediment or is she actively singing like she's deaf?
either way this is so bad i want to put the names and addresses of everyone i know on to here so the they can be associated with my terrible prose.