My 1001 Albums Journey

Album	You	Global	Diff
Reign In Blood Slayer	5	2.96	+2.04
Never Mind The Bollocks, Here’s The Sex Pistols Sex Pistols	5	3.45	+1.55
Blue Joni Mitchell	5	3.5	+1.5
The Number Of The Beast Iron Maiden	5	3.58	+1.42
Appetite For Destruction Guns N' Roses	5	3.71	+1.29
Dummy Portishead	5	3.71	+1.29
Jagged Little Pill Alanis Morissette	5	3.72	+1.28
Grace Jeff Buckley	5	3.74	+1.26
Vol. 4 Black Sabbath	5	3.75	+1.25
Metallica Metallica	5	3.77	+1.23

Album	You	Global	Diff
Kind Of Blue Miles Davis	1	4.05	-3.05
Franz Ferdinand Franz Ferdinand	1	3.57	-2.57
Scissor Sisters Scissor Sisters	1	3.24	-2.24
Pieces Of The Sky Emmylou Harris	1	3.12	-2.12
Back To Black Amy Winehouse	2	4.02	-2.02
Don't Come Home A Drinkin' (With Lovin' On Your Mind) Loretta Lynn	1	2.97	-1.97
The Gilded Palace Of Sin The Flying Burrito Brothers	1	2.92	-1.92
Smokers Delight Nightmares On Wax	1	2.91	-1.91
Arular M.I.A.	1	2.84	-1.84
Time Out The Dave Brubeck Quartet	2	3.83	-1.83

Artist	Albums	Average
Led Zeppelin	3	5
Black Sabbath	2	5
Nirvana	2	5
Pink Floyd	2	5

Artist	Albums	Average
Miles Davis	3	2

Leonard Cohen

4/5

Puts you in the sort of daze you may find yourself in during a funeral. Musically limited, yet inexplicably alluring, the weight and wit of the lyrics and the tone carry what would be forgettable songs if brought to existence by anyone else.

Pretzel Logic

Steely Dan

3/5

Before starting this challenge, I had only heard A Royal Scam. The songs here are shorter and surprisingly commercial, albeit with a zany funk and jazz fusion. I imagine this could get up to four stars for me with repeated listens, but based on first impressions it's a three.

Paul Simon

3/5

Having heard a couple of Simon & Garfunkel albums and not been wowed, loved a few singles, but rank that 'Call Me Al' song as one of humanity's worst atrocities, I didn't have high hopes going in. This is a collection of songs, not all that different from what I expected. Some are nice. Fairy forgettable after a single listen. I can't tell if I'd like it more, or less, with more listens.

Bad

Michael Jackson

5/5

One of my favourite albums of all time and the first which, as a child, I obsessed over. One of the few albums I have multiple versions of.

The Suburbs

Arcade Fire

3/5

I'm writing this intro before starting the album - I could name several albums by Arcade Fire but have, to my knowledge, ever heard a single note of a single song by the band. Surprising as they came up in a time when I was making my own music with people who were huge fans. For whatever reason - the way people spoke and wrote about them, the state of rock music at the time - I assumed they were some posey hipster shite and avoided them. Now that I have listened to this album, there are definitely things I didn't care for and actively disliked. There are some of the more twee moments of Noughties rock which shoves it into the hipster sphere and away from the sense of rebellion and individuality that the genre thrives on, but I was mostly pleasantly surprised that I didn't hate the thing. The caveat with this review, and all my of first time listens, is that I've only listened to the thing once. As we all know, impressions of music change with re-listens and with time. It's rare for me that an album is an immediate love. I don't get the impression that I'll ever love this, but there are definitely a few songs I'll add to my car playlist, and that will lead to a deeper dive into the lyrics and my own feelings on those songs. All in all, I don't know if this is a three or a four star. It could go up or down in my estimation with more listens. I get the sense that this is one of those point in time albums - you had to be there, immersed in the sound and have it accompanying your journey at that time. Naturally you could say that about any album, but I don't think this is distinct enough that it'll transcend time and generations like the best albums do.

Innervisions

Stevie Wonder

3/5

There is absolutely no reason why I should dislike Stevie Wonder, and I don't. But this album, and the only other Stevie albums I've heard before (FFF) were underwhelming, for lack of a better term. The guy can play, sing, but I struggle to connect with the music on a personal level. Nobody's fault. This feels like nice, inoffensive music that will never be more than a momentary blip on my radar.

Nilsson Schmilsson

Harry Nilsson

3/5

I was looking forward to this one as I already knew a few of the songs and that some of my favourite artists held Nilsson in high regard. In total though, this is too kitsch for my liking, with too many of the songs veering into camp experimentation and playfulness which feels of its time. No doubting the creativity and songwriting skills. Elsewhere, a small number of the songs show a heightened prowess and great vocals but this is dampened by some less than impressive vocal moments in other tracks. It's surprisingly inconsistent.

Dig Me Out

Sleater-Kinney

4/5

Simplistic and repetitive - musically and lyrically - this packs a punch. It's fun, angry, juvenile, and energetic. Each member is connected to their instrument in a symbiotic fashion, but it's a young love, hand-holding relationship rather than anything more mature. Ladies were understandably pissed off in the 90s, but where is that righteous anger today, where it is really needed? Where are the true standout songs on this album? Does it matter?

Sex Packets

Digital Underground

3/5

Going in, I had no idea what this was or who these guys were. Incredibly dated production, sound, and a very innocent vibe. Even the explicit lyrics feel tame, like a Carry On movie. I imagine for Hip Hop fans this is akin to a modern day hardcore Metal fan listening to rock music from the 50s. The recognisable elements are there, and yet it sounds alien and distant. A good metaphor for evolution for any science-denying God boys out there. This reminded me of watching Fresh Prince and Sister, Sister - those hallmarks of boundary blurring TV for white folks. Lyrics are funny in places, and I assume tongue in cheek rather than misogynistic. Most songs are at least a minute too long and the album has at least two songs more than it should. By the end the entertaining groove becomes monotonous, and the repetitive nature inherent in the genre becomes painful.

Blue

Joni Mitchell

5/5

One of the easiest five stars I'll give.

The Madcap Laughs

Syd Barrett

2/5

Ah yes. It was only a matter of time when I got my first 'on the list for cultural importance rather than quality'. Syd Barrett undoubtedly had an influence on 20th Century music and beyond. What that influence is though, is less than tangible. We know he was a founding member of Pink Floyd, and that his spectre hung over the band long after he left. But when you think of Floyd's best albums - even their less than great albums - Barrett is not directly involved. The Madcap Laughs is very typical of the sort of late 60s zany freak-outs which you saw from the likes of Frank Zappa. It was a new and exciting scene, but while it accentuated freedom and inspiration, musical and melodic ability was something of an after thought. Hence the end result of this album being a curio rather than something your average person is going to choose to listen to. In essence, there's very little stopping you or I or anyone going into a studio today and making a 'better' album than this, assuming you had the money and backing. What this album does showcase is the evolution and descent of Barrett. It's not clear where his songwriting would have gone if things had turned out differently. Many songs sound like they could have been lifted from Piper, and many have a similar vibe. Whimsy is the word you'll see most often when people with half a brain talk about this album. Some of the songs are fine, but the repetitive rhythm and the recurring cadence and limited melodic tics of Barrett mean that you can listen to any two or three songs and understand/avoid everything else. Three stars for being a historical record of a man who could have been a genius, or could have been exposed as a fraud. Two stars for the music.

Pictures At An Exhibition

Emerson, Lake & Palmer

3/5

Having known the band without ever hearing a single album, it's interesting that the first album to pop up on this challenge from them is a live one. I'm generally not a fan of live albums, or of live albums appearing on such lists - they need to be exceptional or have some exceptional story behind them for me to agree they should be included, rather than the usual 'important band released live album' shtick. Having now listened to this album, my review can be summed up in two words - 'mad bastards'

Peter Gabriel 3

Peter Gabriel

3/5

Definitely needs more listens, but good enough that a couple of songs have been added to my playlist. My first full Peter Gabriel album.

Blood On The Tracks

Bob Dylan

3/5

Having heard a few Dylan albums previously, including this one, I long ago concluded that he's not for me. What he has going for him are his lyrics. His vocals rarely are better than grating and more than half the time his musical choices are dull. The best compliment I can possibly give him are that his best songs are only enjoyable when performed by someone else. He has plenty of those - but that is the bare minimum when you've had as many releases as he has. Blood On The Tracks is one of the more tolerable albums I've heard. There are a few songs here than I could just about stomach listening to again via his original recordings, but aside from the lyrics and their content, I find it mostly musically uninspired, the constant harmonica is like what crucifixion must feel like, and the whole thing drones on longer than it should. I don't doubt its cultural importance - generally the most important criteria for inclusion in lists such as these (rightly or wrongly) - so I must give it 3 stars. It's a low to mid-range 2 for me personally.

Reign In Blood

Slayer

5/5

Ha, so the algorithm is trolling me now. I bemoaned the travesty of Dylan's vocals in the last album, so they hit me up with Slayer. I'm not going to say that Araya is the greatest singer in the world - he's certainly far from that - and I will happily admit that he's not pleasing to listen to. However, Slayer is not supposed to be pleasant, while Dylan is. Slayer, and this album in particular, are meant to sound like the end of the world. The box is smashed to pieces rather than ticked. I have a love/hate relationship with Slayer. They are a very samey band - you could listen to any song off any of their first, say, six albums and be unable to distinguish them. No musical growth, no discernable progress. But that's not what they're about. They want to pummel you in the face over and over again. What sets this album apart from previous ones is that it does have a handful of standout songs. Songs that actually have an intro and are more than just punk shouting, speed, and thrash playing. The title track and Angel Of Death are as top tier Metal as it's possible to get. Having been a DJ in Metal clubs, I wouldn't get through a night without playing, or being asked to play, at least one of those. To conclude, I fully understand any 1 star reviews this must receive, but in terms of pure Metal fury and pushing the needle forwards for other bands, as well as helping to piss off religious cultists, it's undoubtedly a five star album.

Phrenology

The Roots

4/5

I never listened to this at the time - another which had struck me as a hipster critical darling. I got it in my head that it was some sort of direct from Africa tribal collective. No, it's the sort of rap I like - not just songs about money, guns, women, and coming from the streets. A few tracks could use some trimmings.

Vol. 4

Black Sabbath

5/5

Sabbath's early records, before the drugs took over and the creative spark faded, were special. They created a genre, taking much from what had come before, and before that new genre took off they went and created a couple of off-shoots. No content with creating Heavy Metal, this album saw them move further from Doom Metal and into sludge territory. People forget, or may not be aware just how great the musicians in this group were, effortlessly flowing from jazz to heavy rock to funk in their own demented way.

Devotional Songs

Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan

3/5

Like a Led Zep 3 era Pakistani cover band, but with less sex and more songs about fictional deities.

Metallica

5/5

It's Metallica hitting the big time. I wish they'd continued this trajectory and had a mid-90s album before the wank of Load/Reload. This is an album of anthems and while not all hit the mark it's an example of one of the few times an 80s metal band changed successfully with the times.

MTV Unplugged In New York

Nirvana

5/5

I'm not generally a fan of live albums appearing on lists such as these. But for Nirvana, I'll allow it.

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

3/5

I simply cannot fathom why this is here. Sure there are some good songs and it's consistent, but it's nothing more than merely fine. It wasn't influential, it wasn't a critical darling, it wasn't a smash hit, it doesn't have much cultural significance. It also sounds out of time from what was going on... no edge like punk, no prog, less power than garage rock, less bombast than Zep. It feels like The Stones, but several years too late. So why is it here?

Peggy Suicide

Julian Cope

3/5

My first Julian Cope album and, while it was a tad elongated, it was fine. A mess of styles, yet it works.

Haunted Dancehall

The Sabres Of Paradise

1/5

The thing with this type of experimental music is that any twat can make it. I should know, I've done it myself. It takes zero talent, zero ability, zero creativity. I'll concede that there's effort involved on the production side of things, but to take something like this and make it interesting, make it worthwhile, make it anything more than a bit of a joke for the person making it - that's the tricky part. This fails in that regard, in most regards, utterly.

Come Away With Me

Norah Jones

2/5

I remember this being a huge smash, I remember her name and the album name, but I either must have made it through those years without hearing a single song, or if I did hear one it went in one ear and out the other. Today I had to listen to the whole thing, and it absolutely did go in one ear and out the other. It's just... Nothing. Nothing music. Music for people who don't like music. Unacceptably meh. It would be utterly bewildering that this sold so many copies of I didn't already know that there are a lot of very silly people out there. But what do I know. People can like what they like. But for me this was a genuinely torrid experience. It should be nowhere near a list such as this, but the fact that it was so excruciatingly successful means I must give it two stars instead of the one it deserves, and concede that its popularity earns its spot here.

Siamese Dream

The Smashing Pumpkins

3/5

Growing up a grunge and rock and metal boy, I was fully aware of The Smashing Pumpkins, but until today I had never listened to a single one of their albums. Was it Corgan's voice, was it the shitty video of that Tonight song? Was it some bias I felt due to them being so successful in the US while my beloved, clearly and vastly superior Manic Street Preachers, were not? Don't know, something kept me at bay. This is an album which I imagine I would have liked if I'd heard it at the time. I'd probably like it now with more listens. But I only have time for a single listen and so - first half, they sound like shit Nirvana, second half much more unique and interesting.

Suicide

3/5

It's all weird and fucked up. It's quite repetitive and dull too, but points for being weird.

Physical Graffiti

Led Zeppelin

5/5

The Greatest outtakes album ever.

Hunky Dory

David Bowie

4/5

Outside of this challenge I've been running my own challenges for a number of years. One of those was finishing the Bowie discography. I came to the conclusion that I'm a fan of the idea of Bowie rather than the reality. His supposed ability to shift like a chameleon didn't ring true, and many of his albums felt indistinct. I couldn't love his vocals. I didn't like the glam stuff. He seemed like he had only two types of song. But, it's Bowie, I get his importance. Nothing against him, but the music does little for me. Having said that, this one includes my favourite Bowie song, one I'd loved before I ever heard the album (Quicksand). My personal take is three stars, but the Bowie importance bumps it to 4.

BEYONCÉ

Beyoncé

2/5

Look, I've never heard a Beyonce album before. I've heard a lot of her music on the radio, both solo and with Destiny's Child, and have almost without exception, hated it. She can sing, but I can't stand her voice. All the shite about being independent - that's cool for one song, but becomes grating and increasingly like a calculated marketing move rather than a lyric with any personal truth behind it once it appears in single after single. But I'll listen to this and see if I've missed anything. I want to love as much music as possible. I can't love this. I tried. Open mind and all that. But this is just garbage. And not even fun, throwaway garbage. It's a needlessly hyped star having so much money thrown at creating a product but forgetting the ideas, the soul, the music. Ludicrously over-produced and yet feels cheap. No restraint in any aspect. The vocals are unnecessarily over the top to the detriment of the songs that might otherwise be listenable. Most songs would not be listenable even if you had an interesting voice doing their best work. If you strip everything back to melody and message, most songs wouldn't work. Satan bless her, she's a trier. Tryer? Who knows. I'm not saying she's not talented, but that's the absolute bottom of the barrel bare minimum you would expect of someone who has been a cog in the hit industry for decades. But there's just nothing here. Every note and word rings hollow. It's as erotic as a drunken, diseased, and decrepit grandmother forcing her dusty loins upon you. It's as smart as a MAGA podcaster. For a pop album, it's alarmingly free of melody. Most songs are some barren beat and nothing else. There are irritating sound bites. It's too long. This is an easy one star in my mind... It people love her and her music for some reason, and I get that this was likely influential.

Back to Mystery City

Hanoi Rocks

3/5

Any group which inspired G'n'R is good in my books. This is too glam for my tastes, and you know if a song has any type of horn you can almost guarantee it'll be garbage. This has a few of those, but on the whole it's tongue in cheek, silly fun. It's lacking any killer tunes, its not serious enough for punk, not heavy or technically proficient enough to be Metal. That's the harbinger of much of the shite we'd see in the 80s - a chaotic mix of genres with a focus on image and ability over songwriting chops.

Never Mind The Bollocks, Here’s The Sex Pistols

Sex Pistols

5/5

Well, here it is. You all know it. Not the first punk album, but THE punk album. A culture shifter. Violent, sneering, methodic. Admittedly limited, but served its purpose tenfold.

Os Mutantes

3/5

Rights, lads, remember when we promised there would be no Ayahuasca in the studio? Lads? Lads!?

Doggystyle

Snoop Dogg

4/5

My first full Snoop album, having heard many of his singles and collabs. It's exactly as I expected, lyrically and musically. I probably would have listened to this at the time had it been big where I was, but it wasn't, so I didn't.

I’ve Got a Tiger By the Tail

Buck Owens

2/5

Country music is generally abhorrent to me, having had it forced upon me from an early age. This wouldn't have been so bad of they music wasn't, without exception, shit. This album isn't the worst collection I've ever heard. At least it doesn't have any Irish moments. I won't pretend the band can't play, but I also won't deny the fact that slide guitar in country music gives me a violent, vomit reaction. You've heard one Country album, you've heard them all. Thankfully this one is free from the rampant racism, stupidity, religion, and fascism hidden under the guise of Patriotism which is the genre's modern hallmark.

The Joshua Tree

U2

4/5

Living on the red, white, and blue side of Ireland's order in the 80s and 90s, I was not allowed to listen to U2. They were from the other side, and we're the bad guys. Nonsense of course, but a true story nonetheless. As such, even as a rabid music fan, most of their music passed me by. I've always known they are one of my musical black spots, and as much as I've loved their singles and many of the bands and albums inspired by them, I never got around to listening to any of their albums. I think today is the first time I've heard a U2 album in full - deffo this one. Naturally that opening bombast of singles is great. I know them by heart,and they're flawless. Maybe it's familiarity or maybe it's quality, but nothing else here loves up to that opening. There are some other food songs, songs I'll likely enjoy more with further listens, but there also appears to be a fairer amount of middle of the road dross on the second half. Dross is too harsh. Average. Nothing that made me feel anything. Taking out the songs I knew, this is a three star album, it with those bangers it's a four.

Electric Music For The Mind And Body

Country Joe & The Fish

3/5

I was worried this was going to be 80% Country music and 20% zany 60s shenanigans. Thankfully it's mostly 60s rock with a side of zany and a smattering of Country.

Rejoicing In The Hands

Devendra Banhart

2/5

My sphincter closes in upon itself any time I'm recommended an artist I've never heard of and see that the album contains 16 songs. Luckily, most are around the 2-3 minute mark, so relax down there. The whole thing reeks of New York Hipster. It's almost certain the guy has copious facial hair. It's sparse to the point of boredom, dull, repetitive, but without any hypnotic quality. This is America begging for another Dylan. But it's just some guy with a guitar, like you will find in any street on any town in the US. It's like if Woody Allen was a folk singer instead of a pedo.

3 + 3

The Isley Brothers

3/5

This was a cert for a four star score after that banger of an opening track. But none of the next batch of songs come close to that one, pulling us down to a three.

Hounds Of Love

Kate Bush

4/5

An album of weird bangers. I'm more of a Tori fan, but this is Kate's best.

Happy Sad

Tim Buckley

2/5

Surprisingly dull. Even more surprisingly monotone. If each song was three minutes long this would be a 3 star album.

Out Of The Blue

Electric Light Orchestra

3/5

I was hoping to give this a four as it seems like my sort of thing, but by the end too many of the songs had similar melodies and rhythms. For this genre, I need songs to be more distinct. It's all good, but not enough songs stand out.

A Night At The Opera

Queen

4/5

The only Queen album I've heard before and presumably their best.

Back To Black

Amy Winehouse

2/5

To say I was bemused by her success and acclaim, and yes her infamy, at the time would be an understatement. She was the latest Radio 1 darling, endlessly paraded at all hours of the day whether we wanted to hear her or not, and endlessly berated by the tabloids for... Being a woman or drinking, or something. She had a mildly interesting, overly nasal voice, and sang slightly dark songs in an outdated genre with a barely modern twist. The songs, their arrangement, their sound are not to my taste and I find little joy from listening. While she was, and remains, ridiculously overplayed, that has little bearing on how I feel about these songs; dull, dated, and in arguably the worst genre I can think of. Still, there are a few catchy moments here, and she does make the songs more interesting by slapping some darker lyrics and tone into the mix. But there was no reason for this album, or this singer to be as successful as they were. Winehouse was simply the next in line - the British music business attempting to push 'young woman who sings easily marketed, easy listening drivel with potential for global recognition'. Dido? Duffy? Melua? Adele? Stone? Allen? Lott? Paloma? Tunstall? Maybe... Maybe five good songs between them? But again, what do I know? People like this, and this has lasted longer than many of the works by many of the performers above. While they inevitably transitioned into acting or worse, TV presenting, as they vainly cling to relevance, Winehouse seems to have carved a niche for herself as the 'imagine what we could have had had she lived' of her generation. I think she could have done some great stuff, hopefully transitioning out of shitty jazz and into something with more integrity. There are enough moments on this album to suggest she had more, and better, inside. As it is, this is just Michael Bublé with breasts and tattoos.

Smokers Delight

Nightmares On Wax

1/5

I suppose there's a miniscule chance that this might be bearable if you're off your tits. I'm not. So it isn't.

All Directions

The Temptations

3/5

I like The Temptations. You like The Temptations. We all like The Temptations. Let's face it though; they're a singles group. This album tries to be an album, but the songs just ain't there. It just about scrapes a three score.

Scum

Napalm Death

3/5

There are a lot of precious people on this site, handing out one star reviews of this beautiful package of gentle ditties. Sure I prefer my metal to be somewhat more melodic, but there's no doubting the ferocity and impact of this one, and where the vocals may be meme worthy these days, the riffs make up for it.

Ill Communication

Beastie Boys

3/5

Having known a bunch of the hits, my first full BB album was Paul's Boutique. I didn't care for it. This is a significant improvement, containing at least a couple of bangers. I appreciate the variety on offer and it sounds great, but as you would expect for a 20 song album, it begins to drag and grate. There's an awful lot of fluff in the middle, there is no need for there to be so many instrumentals, and the whole toddler having a high pitched tantrum vocals feel repetitive sooner rather than later. Cut this to twelve tracks and I'd be happy to give a four star score.

Lady In Satin

Billie Holiday

3/5

I often think about what it would be like for me, as someone born in the 80s, to travel back in time armed with all I know, to try and live through the 50s. There would be a lot to recommend it - a slower, simpler way of life and a sense of hope after the downfall of the Nazis (lol from 2025). Great movies releasing at a manageable pace. However, having listened to plenty of the music from that time, it would have sucked dealing with the creative limitations. Few genres,, most of them poor, a handful of singers each singing the same handful of songs. Before people realised they could write for themselves. The same weep, choral arrangements. I simply could not cope. Them again, I'd just head to the nearest studio and play the unreleased songs of the future and become a star. And put plans in place so the MAGAs and Thatchers of the world never came to pass. Billie Holiday then. I would have listened to her. In limited bursts of course. There's only so much jazz a sane person can stand. This album is like every other 50s album. A bunch of covers. But at least Billie had character, in her performance and voice. I'll never listen to this again, and you don't need to. No-one needs to. But it's not terrible. It's exactly what you think it is, with added emotional weight and historical context. It's that context which, just barely, scrapes a three star review given how dull the songs are.

Electric Ladyland

Jimi Hendrix

4/5

I think I knew about Jimi long before I ever heard any of his songs. I think I was playing guitar before hearing him play. I heard a bunch of his bits long before everyone hearing a complete album. I've heard all his albums before starting this journey. Tis a strange thing hearing your first Jimi album. You walk away expecting to have somehow heard more guitar. It was the style of the time of course, zany, glam, jazzy freak-outs. You wonder what styles he would have adopted had he lived through the 70s and 80s. I don't know what my favourite Hendrix album is, but stylistically I've never felt close enough to them to hand out a five star. They're all fours. Great playing from all, great ideas, a little overcooked, and Jimi's vocals aren't my favourite. I understand this getting all the fives, and it's deserved, but in my all important personal feelings opinion, it's a four.

Ingenue

k.d. lang

2/5

KD Lang, huh? Assuming this will be the one with Constant Craving on it. Everyone loved that back in the day, me included. Why did I assume she was Scottish? Let's have a listen... The rest of this, thankfully short album, is as dull as get out. She has a nice, bland voice. But it's a voice you'd hear in any lounge bar in any club in any city in the world. The songs are the very definition of meh. Sometimes one hit wonders are precisely that. This is music to drown in the bath too. Live. Laugh. Love.

Exile On Main Street

The Rolling Stones

3/5

Supposedly this is both one of the most coherent and most varied Stones albums. My feeling about The Stones through the various albums I've heard by them, is that they are a step above ACDC - very samey songs, very samey sound, though very good at what they do. This album feels like a bunch of white boys ripping off the Blues forefathers they adored. Which is essentially their entire career, aside from brief forays into ripping off The Beatles. Honestly, I've never understood how The Stones got quite so big or remain so adored. I get their live status and how they were so energetic and electric on stage. I get that they were controversial. But the music feels so anaemic in comparison to how people talk about them. They lack the tunes of The Beatles, and lack the potency of Led Zep. Now, I say all this even though there are a bunch of all time bangers that I love. Paint It Black. Gimme Shelter. Wild Horses. A few others. This album doesn't have anything close to any of those. It has some middling rock songs. It has some middling country rock songs. It has some others songs. A few foot tappers. But it has too much if what I can stand - too much honky tonk piano. Too much harmonica. Too much sax. Not enough melody. Not enough emotion. It's a big, overcooked, overrated rock album filled with the extremes of ideas by a band that, by my reckoning, didn't have many ideas of their own at all. Oh yeah - The Manic Street Preachers lyric 'Daylight bores the sunshine out of me' is a VASTLY better lyric than The Stones original version here.

Doolittle

Pixies

4/5

Pixies. One of those bands I've known about for decades and one that I've half-tried to get into, partly because of their significance and partly because I love many of the bands they obviously inspired. And of course because I've enjoyed a few of their songs. I've heard this album plenty of times, and some of their others, but try as I might, I just can't get into them like I want to. It's the repetitive bass led style, the repetitive rhythms, and the irritating vocals. They're one of those bands that would be so easy to lampoon. You know those YouTube musicians who are like 'What If I Played Beyonce In The Style Of Metallica'? Pixies are one of the prime groups of 'play X in the style of'. And it would be so easy to do so. Anyway, with all that out of the way, this album has all the bits. You can see how Nirvana and others were influenced. I'm torn between a 3 and a 4. I'm feeling generous today and I generally like this as a whole, and a few of the songs, more than most of the 3 star reviews I've given here. So a four it is.

Jack Takes the Floor

Ramblin' Jack Elliott

2/5

Knowing nothing about this beyond the name and genre, I suspect this will be terrible.

Welcome to the Afterfuture

Mike Ladd

3/5

No idea what this is or who this is. It's Hip Hop, but not as I know it. I like that it's different the usual rap I tend to hear, especially the lyrics. Interesting musical approach too. It didn't all work for me and it was lacking in the melodic department, but points for being different.

It's Too Late to Stop Now

Van Morrison

2/5

I'm not sure why this is rated as one of the greatest live albums of all time - it sounds fine and the band is okay. Bare minimum requirements for any musical act. I knew maybe one of the songs on the tracklist, but by the time we got there I was bored by the sameness of Van's vocals, by the live arrangements, by the songs themselves. There's precious little variety here. Little crowd interaction. As a fellow Northern Ireland guy you'd think I'd know more VM songs but no, we learned to avoid his inane ramblings many moons ago. His voice is tolerable for a song or two - when you're drunk at a wedding - but for 18 songs? Live? Come on, lads. Also - far too many parping horns on this album for my taste. As soon as I hear a trumpet, I know I'm in for a slog.

Pink Moon

Nick Drake

4/5

Surely a contender for worst album art ever, right? That's got to be up there with those religious albums with old women on the cover proclaiming that Jesus has touched them. Obviously I knew who Nick Drake was, his story, his style, but I don't recall ever hearing a single song till now. This was rather nice. Of course I listened to this half-cut in bed, but it was nice. One to revisit. The barren minimalism did wear thin after a while but by then I was sleepy and didn't care.

Songs From The Big Chair

Tears For Fears

4/5

I always seem to get these boys and Simple Minds mixed up. I was worried that I wouldn't like this because so many of the popular 80s bands are either cheesy and dated, have that dull, deep male vocal style I can't stand, or both. This sort of falls into those categories, but also works. The songs aren't crap. They feel earnest. Sure they're overlong in places. The only song I knew here isn't one of my favourites, due to over familiarity, but the whole collection works. I'll definitely listen again.

Crocodiles

Echo And The Bunnymen

4/5

Clean crisp production, great sound if somewhat dated and limited. I was never a fan of this 80s vocal style which 90% of British male singers adopted. But the songs are mostly great. I first knew the band from The Lost Boys, then a few singles, then by appearing on a Manics song. Never heard a full album before.

Heroes

David Bowie

4/5

For many years, Bowie was a black spot in my musical knowledge. Obviously I knew him and many of his songs, but it wasn't until my 30s that I started through his full discography. My conclusion is that I'm more of a fan of the idea of Bowie than the reality. No doubting his talents and his achievements, but more a large swathe of his music the songs are, gasp, not very interesting. Not very good either. Limited. He seems to have only a couple of gears. I didn't like his Glam work, he uses way too much brass for my tastes, and his vocals are not sweet to my ears. And yet, when he makes something I like it'll be a banger. "Heroes" has a great first half, a weaker second. The instrumentals are not as shite as on other albums, and there's a higher ratio of good over balls. It's one of his albums that I could listen to again, or at least has more than a couple of songs I'd gladly put on many times.

Bug

Dinosaur Jr.

3/5

A few standout tracks I'll definitely listen to again. I was aware of this band back when I was a grunge kid, but I don't have any lasting memories of them or their music. I don't mind the vocals, although they do wane over the course of the album. Everything else is good, noisy, just the way I like it.

John Barleycorn Must Die

Traffic

3/5

Too much parping for my tastes but otherwise good.

Songs Of Leonard Cohen

Leonard Cohen

4/5

I don't get it. The music is limited. The vocals are limited. Most songs are almost indistinguishable from every other. I have no desire to listen to the whole thing again. And yet, I like it. Why is it so alluring? Why am I giving it four stars? I just must be predisposed to enjoy this, against my better instincts.

Catch A Fire

Bob Marley & The Wailers

3/5

I should like Bob Marley. He ticks every box for a guy like me. He's one of those dudes that someone like me would have had a poster or T-shirt of. But try as I might, I just can't with Reggae. This started out better than I'd hoped, more funky than reggae, but the Reggae sound and been soon dropped. Nah bro. Being objective though, good band, good lyrics, good things. But I don't need or want to hear it again.

Time Out Of Mind

Bob Dylan

3/5

I know that Dylan is worshipped by millions - millions of strange little cave dwellers - but for a dude who was big in the 60s, do we really need yet another album by him from 30 years later? We should have another Alice Cooper album - vastly more influential, better singer, better songwriter, better lyricist. Haven't said that, maybe this is good. Maybe this doesn't sound like the dying mewls of a cow with a spud trapped in its nose. Here he sounds more like Macy Gray. That's not a complement. That's like saying 'you look like Hitler', or 'You smell like Macy Gray '. And yet, it isn't terrible. As silly as the vocals are, once you get a taste for them and can look beyond that distraction, the songs aren't bad. Not great either and they mostly fall into the usual folk blues shtick, but there's some good stuff here. The problem with the food stuff is that, there's no progress, no pay off. Every song just sits and stagnates. On the plus side, that means the chill vibe of the album isn't broken. Down side? It feels aimless, meandering, void. It's like the worst techno music you can think of - have a single good piece, copy and paste until the end of the song. That final sixteen minutes track? Skip and pause at any moment of the song and it's the same as any other. So no, it's not terrible. I don't even mind his vocals here as much, now that he's shouting less. Lyrics good, band good. Just a bunch of songs that do little for me.

Pieces Of The Sky

Emmylou Harris

1/5

I simply cannot understand the love for Country music. I don't understand why it managed to spread beyond its own borders. Keep your horses and cows and cold beers and wife-beating to yourselves - the rest of the world has adult shit to do. She has a nice voice. Scratch that... She can sing, I'm not sure I'd qualify her voice as nice as she has the same hellish twang and warble as literally every other Country singer who has ever existed. The band can play, but I hate what they do with instruments I like and I instruments I don't. What doesn't help is that the Genre only has 2.5 modes. You'd think after a hundred years and a million performers they'd have you know, progressed, but I can't that progress and change is not in the dictionary of several US States and institutions. You have the slow, sad song. You have the shit kicker. And you have one that falls in between. Price to me there's something else. Go on! To say something positive... Before Believing has the potential of being quite pretty, good in fact, if only it were stripped of anything Country. Harris would likely sound great if, again, stripped of anything Country and given something less shitty to sing. There is simply nothing in this world more hateful than a Country Music album.

Green River

Creedence Clearwater Revival

4/5

Difficult to judge on a single listen, but I already knew the big hitters. My brain says three but let's be positive and go higher.

McCartney

Paul McCartney

3/5

It's fair to say that non of the former Beatles got off to a flying start with any of their solo work. John's was all over the place, George's was experimental nonsense, and Ringo's was exactly what you expect - shite. Paul went for a low-fi approach, hiding away by himself and doing it all. The result is mostly half-baked and lacking in the melody and charm the great man is known for. It's a forgettable album which deserves its inclusion here purely because of who made it and not the quality within. There are thousands of better albums than this, but it has to be here because it's the first solo McCartney album. It's not bad, it's just average across the board.

Wish You Were Here

Pink Floyd

5/5

The birth of chill. One of Pink Floyd's Big Four. Perfection

Playing With Fire

Spacemen 3

3/5

A couple of tracks are too long. Otherwise fine. Can't imagine why it's in the book though.

Talking Heads 77

Talking Heads

3/5

I've never liked Talking Heads. Not that I've ever given them a chance. But the videos of those stupid suits and swinging arms and dances - absolutely not. The few songs I've heard - nope. But let's give them a proper go. First song is decent, but then all the vocal nonsense, tics, and jangling guitars start which takes the gloss off everything it touches. Partially a shame because there are good moments here. I say moments because good songs are few and far between. The shite overshadowed those good moments. The best songs are just about better than average, brought back down by the ridiculous vocals. No Compassion might be a great song without the jangle and crap singing. Plus marks for the lyrics, I quite enjoyed the drums...plus marks for being different in principle. I get why people are obsessed with the band, but for now, still not for me.

Music For The Jilted Generation

The Prodigy

3/5

Back in the mid-90s, The Prodigy became one of a very small handful of Dance acts it was acceptable to like for us Metal and Grunge kids. This album is good, but doesn't contain the bangers that we all remember. It always amuses me when Yanks start talking about 'EDM' likes it's some new phenomena, when the rest of the world has been dealing with the, largely shite, genre for decades. In the 90s, cutesy and one off rave tracks were constantly stinking up the charts, building upon the admittedly worse fare released in the 80s. You couldn't turn on the radio or any chart music show without getting some slop. The Prodigy blew all of that away, giving people with discerning taste something to latch onto. The had edge, smarts, cred. They made actual music, not just bleeps with a beat and a recurring lyric. Still, this is an album I struggle to get through in full. Too big. Not enough great songs to sustain itself. But plenty of good stuff.

Lust For Life

Iggy Pop

4/5

It's a well known fact that Iggy and Bowie were 'hand-buddies', providing each other with mutual 'relief' from the 'stresses' of stardom, touring, and drug excess. Which is fine - nothing like a mouth-gift to start the day. But their love would infiltrate each others music, which is a problem when you claim to be a unique punk lad. At least this album is more raw and rock than the previous. It has all the hits. It's more punk than experimental faff. Less glam shite. Less brass nonsense. A big shot of Stones style Blues rock. It simply must be mentioned how terrible all of Iggy Pop's album artwork is - truly atrocious. It must 'also' be mentioned that Lust For Life is basically the same song as Walking On Sunshine. Identical intro, pace, rhythm. All guff out of the 'way' and this is a damn fine album. I like this more than, or at least on par with, the Bowie albums I've enjoyed.

Highway to Hell

AC/DC

3/5

It has always been unclear to me what AC/DC are more like - Status Quo, or a shitty Hair Metal band, but without the makeup. What is clear is that they only make very silly formulaic rock. How much mileage you get out of this directly corresponds to how much you dream about fiddling with women. This, and any DC album, is essentially a Carry On movie in musical form. Do you like a solo? Hmm, I have a big one. Matron! I'm an Aussie and I like the bush. Ooh Matron! I bought a nice packet of biscuits, I just need to unsheath them. Matron! Would you like to CUM around and 'ave one? Oooh Matron! Have a little nibble, my dear, or maybe even a suck. OOOOH MATRON! I have made a mess in my pants.

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

The Smashing Pumpkins

4/5

It's another Smashing Pumpkins album. This is the one I always hear people raving about. Will I join them? Probably not. Will I remind people that Manic Street Preachers should have been bigger in the US? Yes - Manic Street Preachers should have been bigger in the US. Far more interesting than these boys. On the plus side, this is much more musically interesting than the other SP album on the list. It has the bangers that I remember from the 90s, but it also has that Tonight song with the terrible video where Billy looks like he's doing an impression of The Laughing Cow. I never liked that song, but this time around I didn't mind it. They sound less like a generic Nirvana rip off here. On the down side, it's too long. We all know this, but I admire the attempt. The middle section takes the brunt of this, with too many songs lacking the impact of the early hits and the interest of some in the back half. Then again, if I had fawned over this at the time like many of the glowing five star, woe is me/I was a sad boy in the 90s reviewers here, I'd likely have more love for those songs too. Nothing bad about them - I've only heard them once and there's too damn many of them. As to be expected, Corgan's voice is not the most pleasing, but it's less cringe-inducing here than elsewhere, partly because it's more buried or complemented by the cacophony of noise surrounding it.

Elephant

The White Stripes

3/5

Oh dear. I simply never understood the hype. That fucking Seven Nation Army shite was inescapable at the time. Back when I would spend many an hour and many a day in the Students Union, with MTV 2, Kerrang, or Scuzz blasting in the background, it was one of a foul spawn handful of the worst modern rock you could think of. Between it, that awful Evanescence son, that terrible Linkin Park song, and all of those shitty pop punk songs, you simply couldn't get away. True story, I saw these clowns at Glastonbury once but crowdsurfed to the front so that I could get away - I wanted to see Robert Plant and it was the fastest way out. Seven Nation Army has a, let's be honest, very dull riff, and that's all the song is. The riff played endlessly, while some boy wails over the top and some girl slaps a stick on the ground. I simply have never understood why people like it, never mind giving it such undue praise. There was so much better and more adventurous rock at the time than this Led Zep throwback rip off. But perhaps the album is better than that one song? After all, a band is almost never just one song (unless you're AC/DC), and I think Seven Nation Army is the only White Stripes song I've ever heard. Yes I saw them at Glastonbury, but I wasn't paying attention. Skip the opening song as there is no logical reason anyone needs to hear it again. Second song is cool, I could listen again. Third is fine... Fine to meh. Fourth...ah I remember this. This had a video with Kate Moss or some such prancing around a chair. I love the Dusty version, this less so. Fifth is bad - would still be dull if it was sung by someone who can sing. Meg, assuming it's her, cannot sing very well. Sixth is mid-album drivel. Seventh tries to be lovely but doesn't make it. The next is a 3.5 minute song, but for some reason they play it twice. The one after is better, but not great. The one after is barely a song, then a decent one, then another decent one. It's more of the same field until the last song, which is one of the most embarrassing messes I've ever heard. It's almost bad enough to drop my score by a star. In whole though, not as bad as I was dreading, but I remain mystified at the fame and praise this received then and now. I can only assume that, because the rock music being played on radio at the time was so poor that people somehow cling on to this. Or that people are very very silly, which seems more plausible.

Rattus Norvegicus

The Stranglers

3/5

It's...fine? Tame by today's standards,.or even by the standards of five years after release. Does Punk music really need keyboards? Obviously not, but at least they sounded different from the usual snarling and three chord guitar attack. Again... It's fine.

Beggars Banquet

The Rolling Stones

3/5

The Stones... having heard quite a few of their albums before starting this challenge, I can't say I'm a big fan, or that I understand exactly why they're so revered. I get that they offered a counterpoint to The Beatles, but they feel like such a mish-mash of everything that had come before them. If somebody did something they enjoyed, you could be sure they would nick that idea. It was blatant, and they couldn't do much with those ideas beyond adding a dirty blues riff. It's a personal shame because, after loving The Beatles, The Who, Floyd, Zep, etc in my youth, The Stones were my remaining huge gap - surely I'd love them too. But no. Too limited in their sound, too samey, and whatever raw edge and energy they exuded back in the day - it's lost now via the studio and via the passage of time. That's not to say they don't have some great songs. This album has a couple. But they don't strike me as an albums band. They're a greatest hits band. And they have some great hits. So, as always, nothing bad here, just nowhere near enough to deserve higher than three stars.

Done By The Forces Of Nature

Jungle Brothers

3/5

I'm no rap expert and was not aware of these guys before this album was offered up as per ze challenge. One wonders if it was popular, if it twas influential. I can't tell. In could research, but ain't nobody got time fo that. What is obvious is that it's less violent, less visceral than most of the rap I know. Less about the ho, the guns, the money, the streets. More about some other shit, I wasn't paying full attention as I listened in the midst of an encroaching sickness. But to these ears it felt low on samples, drum heavy, low on instrumentation. Still fun in places, still got my feverish head nodding, then regretting such rhythmic movement.

Don't Come Home A Drinkin' (With Lovin' On Your Mind)

Loretta Lynn

1/5

Loretta could sing and write her own songs - entry level, bare minimum ability for entering the world of music. But this, like every Country album, sounds just like every other Country album. There's the slow sad song, and the shit-kicker. And all the way through is awful guitar and piano sounds. How many decades has this genre existed for now, and yet it hasn't changed, evolved, done anything different, anything exciting, or somehow managed to produce anything more than precisely those two songs.

Eliminator

ZZ Top

3/5

Not sure why this needs to be hear. Presumably something about beards. It's solid, no nonsense rock music. No real peaks, no real variance in its sound or sentiment, but sometimes that isn't important. A couple of notable singles, some good guitar, vocals on the dodgy side, possibly because all that hair keeps getting in the mouth.

Planet Rock: The Album

Afrika Bambaataa

2/5

More rap boys I've never heard of. Based on the era and album art, I can imagine what it sounds like. And that's exactly what it sounds like. It sounds rather silly, but I can see why people would have e enjoyed it in the 80s. It's supposed to have been influential, so I'll take your word for it. Still, it's a lot less remarkable than the rap music which I'm more familiar with from just a few years later. This makes me think of Police Academy 4, but without the funny bits.

Midnight Ride

Paul Revere & The Raiders

3/5

I'd heard one Paul Revere album before starting this challenge - this ain't that. This is very similar to that though, inoffensive 60s rock with a bit of melody, a sprinkle of emotion, decent playing, nice haircuts. Nothing much memorable, no standouts, no edge. It lacks the snarl of The Stones and the polish of The Beatles. In essence, it is average. And as such, it has no real business being on this list.

Fever To Tell

Yeah Yeah Yeahs

3/5

I've no idea if this is the album that has that one song by this band that I know. You know the one, where the singer is facing the camera and doing that thing with her face? Yeah. Yeah yeah, that one. I didn't like that thing, or the video, or the song. As such, I assumed I wouldn't like the band and went on about my day/life. I got a vibe from that song... that pretentious New York vibe. An air of superiority, while being overtly shit. Are they from New York? Fuck knows. But I'm giving this album a go now, 20 years later. Turns out this is the album that has that song. It also has a couple of other songs I remember, so clearly I'd heard a lot of this back then. It doesn't irritate me as much now as it did then. The effect on the vocals does annoy me, like she's singing through static. Her voice is very shrill too. But she makes a lot of sex noises, which is always nice. It's all very noisy, so I can see why people enjoy it. It's not my sort of noise though. The playing is too stilted and basic. Like a lot of the bands of that era, it's all cling cling cling, same note over and over again, then next note, cling cling cling over again, repeat. There were a lot of more inventive, more powerful, more exciting bands at the time but they got buried because, well, they didn't make sex noises or because the radio chose not to push them. These guys were in your face all the time. So, it's fine. Good even. Too basic and cliquey and up its own arse for my tastes. But sex noises. I'm away for a wank.

This Year's Model

Elvis Costello & The Attractions

3/5

The thing I heard more than anything before starting this challenge was that there are too many Elvis Costello albums. Here I am with my first - thoughts and prayers. Before listening, I knew who the lad was, with his Mark Lamar 1950's bin man knock-off look. I can't recall ever hearing a single song by him, though I almost certainly have. Obviously the guy behind the book has some 'special feelings' for him. I think that I'd give this a four with more listens. Everything is good, aside from some jangly guitar tones that I've never been a fan of. Drums good, keyboard hit and miss, lyrics good. What is preventing an instant four stars is the vocals. If we had a singer who could belt out these choruses, it would be a four. They feel anthemic and deserve a bit of oomph, but Costello ain't that guy.

The Last Broadcast

Doves

4/5

Did you dance in the afternoon rain to Catch The Sun in Glastonbury around 2003? I did. I thought that song was on this album. It's not. It does have other songs that I'd forgotten existed in the twenty or so years since I heard them. As such... NOSTALGIA. Days listening to music, pints, nights out on the tear before stumbling home and having a kip on the floor of some friend's floor. Then 2 litres of Lilt to cure the hangover the next morning. Then back to Uni for more Post Structuralist takedowns of beloved Victorian era novels. There's quite a bit of airy, atmospheric nonsense on this album, but outside of those it's all good. And there's a couple of bangers. Hey, I haven't given a four for a few days and because it's almost Christmas and I'm on the wine, I say it's time to be generous. You'll see in other reviews these guys being compared with Coldplay, and I get it. There were a few bands at the time ostensibly playing rock music, but without distortion. That's basically the comparison . Coldplay inexplicably got the spotlight and hit the big time, while the other groups faded one by one. These guys had more potential. Haven were the best of the bunch, but you're likely saying 'who?'. These guys did not have an insufferable twat as a front man. These guys didn't marry one of the worst humans imaginable. It's a good album, not a great one, but it just about scrapes a four for me. More likely a 7 out of 10.

Let It Be

The Replacements

3/5

Ah, these guys. I have a friend who swears by them, his favourite band ever. Truth be told, I don't know much about them or many of their songs. This will be my maiden voyage. Well, it's a bunch of three star songs with a couple of four stars in Unsatisfied and We're Comin Out. With added weight for obviously being ahead of the Zeitgeist. Also, for a bunch of punk guys who can barely play, having an almost complete instrumental track is buck nuts. It's noisy, it's less serious and posing than much of the punk which had come out a few years earlier, but it also lacks the tunes of what the alt genre would become.

From Elvis In Memphis

Elvis Presley

3/5

It's Elvis, y'all. I wonder how many Elvis albums we're going to have to navigate. Is this a live album? I guess we'll find out. This is the first Elvis album I remember listening to. We all know at least 10 Elvis songs, right? Probably more. This album only has one song that I knew from looking at the tracklist. The songs themselves aren't the best. Obviously we're dealing with songs from a time and culture long since lost, many of them mixing Country, Blues, Gospel, soppy ballads. Normally I wouldn't care for most of those genres and actively stay away from them. But Elvis was such a unique presence and voice that he makes them worth hearing, at least once. That said, there are some entirely intolerable songs here - especially the soppy Country shite. Elvis tries his best to make them not shite, but doesn't quite get there. You can just about get through those with your sanity intact. Beepy arrk flnmnrr! The faster, rockier stuff is better but there's nowhere near enough here to warrant a four star score. An Elvis greatest hits, featuring his best songs, that would be a four star or possibly a five star album, it this is let down by the faff. Some great playing a foot tapping stuff to be sure, but not enough of it.

Post Orgasmic Chill

Skunk Anansie

4/5

I listened to this lot quite a bit back in the day, particularly the song they did with Bjork, Weak, and a few other singles. I don't think I ever listened to this album in full, and looking down the tracklist none of the titles leap out at me. I had friends who loved this album, but I had moved on to other, less bald bands. This album still has the raw power and presence of Skin and the melodic talent I recall, but it's more Nu-Metal than I expected. Thankfully without all the shite that made Nu-Metal, well, shite. Turns out I don't think I heard the singles from this one at the time. Turns out the singles are the weakest songs on the album. Luckily everything else is great. I should have listened to this at the time, but I'll be listening to it again.

Fire Of Love

The Gun Club

3/5

I have to laugh every time I get an highly renowned and successful and brilliant (or otherwise) album by a British act then look at the reviews from yanks which inevitably start with either 'wow, never heard of these guys' or 'what is it with this list and it's favouritism towards British bands no-one has heard of'. I'd anything, the list is way too slanted towards US shite. Who needs to hear more than two Country or Jazz albums in their entire life? Nobody, that's who. Having said that, here's yet another US band no-one has ever heard of. I like my punk straight. And I don't mean sexually. Punk should be ramshackle, heavy, brash, fast, shorty yet melodic, political, slogan heavy, and amateurish. Anything else and it's not punk. Is this post-punk? Apparently it was influential. Maybe it was, but I imagine it only influenced shite. I can hear The Pixies in here, but the parts about The Pixies I don't like. It's not bad. It has experimental moments. It's fast in places, amateurish, the vocals are shouty but bland like Dylan if he was less of a New York poser and instead grew up with a bunch of friends who liked looking at titty mags and boozing. The slide guitar is different, different enough to push this out of the punk genre for me. I had an okay time with it. I'd probably enjoy it more if the vocals weren't so normal. If it had a bit more edge and venom. It feels stripped of the anger it needs to be impactful. Tame. As a blues rock album with punk glazing it almost works, but as a punk album with Blues leaning it feels bereft of thrust. That Cool Of Water song for example, it can fuck all the way off. It's the most watered down attempt at Zeppelin this side of White Stripes. With a different singer, this is a more solid three, but as it stands it's a low 3.

Spiderland

Slint

3/5

One of those albums which fans like to tell you is super influential, but you look around at what it influenced and... Shrug? To paraphrase that awful Stefani woman, 'I'm just an album'. Which is what this is. It's just an album. Like many others, it came and went like a burp. The dude on the left of the cover looks like my mate from school, Maccers. The dude on the right looks like Slater from Saved By The Bell. The music isn't very exciting or memorable, but at least they tried. They got out of the flooded quarry one day and said 'hey Maccers, hey Slater, hey...Bryce-leigh, you wanna go play guitar'? They all said no. And thus, Spiderland was born. With zero spiders.

Endtroducing.....

DJ Shadow

2/5

The battle over AI music is currently all the rage. Is it art? Is it theft? I'd it right that someone with no training can go make music at the touch of a button, possibly taking precious money and spotlight away from those precious artists who spend their lives toiling away on their six string? But there's nuance, that little thing is tribal little monkeys tend to forget. For example - can original human-written poetry, words, or lyrics be considered art? Even if you don't like those things, you'd probably say yes. But what if those same words are applied to AI generated music? What then? What if the words form an album, and what if the AI prompts for that album were designed in such a way to form something specific, something coherent and cohesive? What then? Well that's what I did. It's online. Under Scrabo's Looming Shadow. A 46 song concept album about potato picking, with my words set to AI music from my prompts. Is it art? Is it the same type of Art as Entroducing? I don't know. All I know is that it's better than Entroducing.

Phaedra

Tangerine Dream

3/5

This was my first full Tangerine Dream album, having known and grown up with their TV and movie soundtracks. They made electronic sounds before the medium got taken over by an association with drugs, chaos, and shitty dance music. It was the very essence of experimentation, of playing something new. The problem of course with such things is that other key components of music get lost along the way. You can make as many nifty and cool sounds as you like, but if there's no emotion behind or in front of it, no melody, no message, what's the point? It's exploration for the sake of it. It's Colonialism for its own sake. It's Musk going to Mars just so he can be remembered as the first to do it. It's meaningless. Luckily, there are enough cool and nifty sounds here that it isn't a waste. You can tell the group is excited and dedicated. They want to make... something. Production wise, it's great. It doesn't sound dated. It's just... what's the point? You'll remember none of it after a single listen. So, it's not exactly the Street Hawk theme tune, but it's worth hearing.

Led Zeppelin III

Led Zeppelin

5/5

I mean, it's Zep. Maligned somewhat upon release, it's an album of some flawless songs - some of their best - and some less good stuff. There's no way it isn't a five stars.

Gunfighter Ballads And Trail Songs

Marty Robbins

2/5

Oh Lord. Another Country album. It'll take a miracle for this to not be a one or two stars. Let's find out. To his credit, Marty does not have the acid-on-eardrums whining twang of most Country singers, and there's a lot less steel guitar and dismal violin moping than I expected. But that's about it for positives. Lyrically, it's the same old bullshit. Let me tell you a tale of [insert cowboy name], whose deeds involved [insert horses, guns, shooting, and being shot]. Repeat. You have to wonder just how much responsibility these Country singers must bear for the countless gun related deaths and atrocities which have plagued the USA for the past hundred years or so. There's no two ways about it - this music, and the genre as a whole, romantisizes firearms and the notion of a man getting shit done via his ability to wriggle his finger while pointing a weapon at someone. Good job, Marty. Now admittedly, there is a certain allure to the notion of spending your days and nights with a posse of like-minded men, roaming the plains, and law only onto yourselves. But two things: for as cool as that sounds, the music which typically encircles that ideal, is hot garbage. Utter shite. Tame, yarn-spinning, weak and fetid wank. Secondly - grow up. What a pile of childish nonsense. Anyone can imagine a life of non-responsibility. Woop-di-fucking-balls. So. Marty. He has a nice enough voice and his sound is not as apocalyptically grating as the genre usually is.

In The Court Of The Crimson King

King Crimson

4/5

It's a big Proggy boy. Everyone knows the art. I had never listened to the entire thing before, even though I like Proggy boys. Some parts are too faffy and it lacks the emotional connection of Pink Floyd's best work, but it's good.

Lupe Fiasco's Food & Liquor

Lupe Fiasco

4/5

I have heard this name before. I was probably still working in a place that had a communal radio/ride-sharing at the time this was released, so I may have heard a single or two. But I couldn't name any of those. I had only, to my shattered recollections, heard Daydreaming before - and possibly not even the whole song. But this was great. I like Rap when it isn't just about women, money, and guns. You gotta give me more. This album is smart, funny, and varied in its lyrical content and music. The three track run starting from ... Is as good as any I've heard in rap. Sure the last song isn't great, but we won't hold that against it. We get songs about skateboarding, zombies, and pointing a mirror back at America's own lying, sneering, bloody face. It's a shame he seems to have allowed himself to be chained down by religion, the greatest White Man Lie, but hopefully he's grown out of that nonsense by now.

G. Love And Special Sauce

G. Love & Special Sauce

2/5

I have no idea what the balls this is. Based on the name, is it rap or dance? Fun Lovin Criminals vibes from the artwork. But I have never heard of these guys, and neither have you. After listening I can confirm that I never heard any of this before. I can also confirm that there were a hundred bands in the 90s who sounded like this - white guys rapping while sounding like they're dealing with a hernia, or trying to curl out a particularly vicious dump. It's Rage Against The Machine without the Rage, Fun Lovin Criminals without the fun, songs without music. There's zero reason this should be on the list given how derivative it is and considering that other groups did it better. That said, you could pick any single one of these songs and tap your toe while staring wistfully out at the sea as the dying embers of your spliff fall away, echoing the dying embers of your musical taste. Sorry, Garry Love, but James from Twin Peaks is much cooler than you.

At San Quentin

Johnny Cash

4/5

My quest to find a Country album that is actually worth listening to has so far been fruitless. But today we have Johnny Cash, the dude everyone who hates Country music, likes. I've heard plenty of Cash songs before - I don't dislike him, but I don't love him even as much as those other County haters do. Next up - I think only an exceptional Live album should ever be on this list, exceptional both because of the performances, the songs, and the surrounding circumstances. Unplugged In New York for example. Will this hit the spot? It gets off to a solid start, by bringing other artists and some of their hits. Thankfully the opening songs are not Country, so it gets me into a positive mood. There's good crowd noise, banter, interaction. June Carter brings the first Country song, and it isn't terrible. It's flirtatious and fun. She then raps out some farm-related poetry. You have to wait a while for Johnny to join. Cash is better than most Country vocalists because he doesn't sound Country - no whining, no hootin' and a hollerin'. He doesn't exactly have a voice for melody, but he gets his point across clearly. The up-tempo songs work because they boil with energy, and there's none of that dreary violin or steel guitar nonsense. A lot of the inherent garbage of the genre is here - the same melodies and rhythm which you can immediately pull from memory and instantly craft a new song from. It's the intensity and intent of the performance which makes that garbage tolerable. The majority of the songs aren't interesting in the slightest - the best ones are either the big Cash hitters or the Carl Perkins songs. But again, the performances are great and the banter is solid. Throw in the circumstances and it's worth the four stars. Normally this would be a three star album, but for cultural significance you have to throw in that extra star. I never need to hear the whole thing again, but I'll slap a couple of songs on my rotation.

Sunshine Hit Me

The Bees

2/5

In the early 2000s, there were so many 'The' rock and indie bands that this fact alone led to the downfall of rock music itself. That and the fact that 80% of those bands were balls. I have never heard of this one though. The Bees. In fact, I have no idea if they are even a rock band. Soon find out... But first, here are some actual, important, good 'The' bands who do not feature on this list, it should - The Gathering, The Music, The Delays. Also, why are there no albums by Sia or Lady Gaga? U mad bro? Alas, this album is a far cry from those by the artists I mentioned, and therefore I am obliged to question its inclusion here. In order to be considered one of 'must hear albums before you die', an album must meet certain criteria. Let us walk through them. Historical Significance and Innovation: This album barely charted, same for its singles, and has received no significant airplay. Very few people have ever heard of it or the band. It appears to have zero historical significance. In terms of innovation - how innovative can you buy with yet more white boy reggae and plinky plonky bollocks? Internal Cohesion and Journey: I'll allow this one. I mean, when every song is filler, it's still coherent. Timelessness and Endurance: It doesn't sound dated but it also doesn't sound like it was recorded at any point in the last 20 years. It feels like a lost album from the 60s that was only recorded because the singer was the dealer for a bigger band. Emotional and Social Impact: Zero. It seems to have influenced no-one and held no emotional impact for me. So, an album which didn't sell by a band no-one has heard of which influenced nobody, had no wide impact, and sounds like any number of artists from decades before. Plus the album artwork is a hate crime. Some people who don't like music will probably like this. It's well made. The best thing I can say about it are that the first ten seconds of roughly a third of the songs are 'nice'.

The Soft Bulletin

The Flaming Lips

3/5

I saw these guys at Glastonbury after there Pink Elephants or whatever album came out. A lot of people raved about and them at the time, but I was more interested in the exploding but ignored Euro Metal scene. I didn't pay much attention to that gig and remember nothing about it. I seem to have photos of it though. I believe this album came out before that one, and I believe I have not heard any of it. Till now. Song titles are cool. Lyrics are naff. Music is good. Vocals are bad. Great production. Don't like the drums. So that all works out as a three for me. Imagine if this had been sung by prime 90s Thom Yorke. It would have been four stars.

So

Peter Gabriel

4/5

My second Peewee Gabey (Peter Gabriel) album on this odyssey (journey), and the first (first) to feature songs by him that I know (bro). When I was a lad I didn't like that Sledgehammer song, or the video. All that jerky, smiley stop motion stuff gave me anxiety. Anxiety that a Gabriel was going to leap out at me from behind the sofa, juddering, grinning, and possibly nude. Plus I preferred the song Sledgehammer from the show, Sledgehammer. But I've always loved Don't Give Up, the song and the video. I recorded the song onto cassette from somewhere and used to sing both parts, hoping that Kate Bush would leap out at me from behind the sofa, dancing, doe-eyed, and possibly nude. The rest of the album I don't believe I was familiar with. It features the best and worst of the 80s, along with a dose of weirdness. In total it feels like a three star album to me, but I like it more than the other Peetay Gabe-ree (PG) album I heard, so I suppose that makes it a four (4).

You've Come a Long Way Baby

Fatboy Slim

2/5

Oh no. I had to live through this balls at the time, and everyone loving it. You could not go anywhere or do anything in the late 90s without a song from this album invading your personal space without consent. If it wasn't ol' saggy britches boning Zoe Ball and her gushing all about it, it was on the radio, and if it wasn't on the radio it was in your face at school, in the shop, blasting from the cars of steeks. And it was terrible. The summit and nadir of everything dance music had been steaming towards. So yes, it's wall to wall hits. The only good one is if course Right Here Right Now. By the very nature of the genre, each track only has about 1 minute of material, so you can get through the whole album in about twelve minutes and get the same effect as if you had listened to the whole thing.

Rage Against The Machine

4/5

ROTM is the AC/DC of the 90s, in that they are a band with huge popularity but every song sounds the same. Except where one band sings about bazoongas, the other sings about racism. They do one song and they do it well. Luckily that song is awesome and it'll pump you up to make a difference before remembering you forgot to send your OoO - after which point all you'll want to do is have a wee sit down and doom scroll. Anyway, you all know the song.

A Christmas Gift For You From Phil Spector

Various Artists

3/5

Merry Christmas to all - including murderers!

Boston

3/5

Ahh, I've been waiting to hear this one. For many a decade I've heard, mostly from Americans, that this is one of the greatest Rock albums of all time, flawless, a succession of hits, and one of the greatest all time debuts. Hopefully I'm not mixing these statements up with another album (such as this not actually being their debut), but you get the idea. Is it true, or is it US Boomer nostalgia. Given I only recognise the name of one of the songs - a great one granted - and given the US Boomer's odd predisposition for tight jean, sock stuffed, high-pitched love and pop songs (but with guitars) being associated with Rock, I can't say I'm fully onboard. But I want to be wrong. Truthfully, I was hoping to give this a four or maybe even a five given I am a Rock boy. But this feels more like Rock music for people who don't like Rock music. Sure it's dated now in the sense that it comes from a distant place and time which no longer exists, but it's also very twee. Boy band with guitars, no real emotion. The guitars are good but we've all heard better. And we've all heard better woven into better songs. More Than A Feeling remains a classic, but everything else is filler.

Station To Station

David Bowie

3/5

It has been nine years since I first listened to this in my initial journey to listen to every Bowie album. I remember it being a departure from his previous couple of albums, but thinking it was fine. I still think it's fine.

Sometimes I Wish We Were An Eagle

Bill Callahan

2/5

I have no idea what this is, but the album title, artist name, and artwork have already annoyed me. Is it going to be Country or folk or hipster twee? Or have I got it all wrong and this is going to be awesome? Twee hipster folk sounds right. You know how a great vocal can improve a crap song, or you hear a decent song and think 'this song could be four stars if only the singer was better'? The music here is nice and the vocals are more spoken that sung, but I don't think a better singer would actually improve things. It's that twee, bland niceness that is beyond help. It's fine if you like that sort of thing, or are in the mood for it. It's yet another album by some random American nobody has heard of which has zero business being on this list.

Morrison Hotel

The Doors

3/5

Most people of a certain pedigree go through a Doors phase in their youth - I certainly had mine. They had mystique, sex appeal, danger, and the odd banging tune. Plus, there's only a few people of that pedigree in any given age group so you get to have or consolidate that outsider vibe you've so keenly cultivated for yo'self. But the problem with The Doors is that you very quickly grow out of them when the crack in their mystique shows. The cheesy keyboards which sound like you're walking around a carnival in which you're almost certainly going to be mugged in and where every ride is stuck together by chewing gum, the naive love songs, the copy paste rhythms. Morrison Hotel is my least listened to Doors album, mainly because it lacks the hits and it lacks the weirdness which set them apart. I like my Doors to be rough, mysterious, a little 'off'. People Are Strange, The End, Love Street, Break It Through. I like them less when they are straight Blues or when the Keyboards sound like Honky Tonk Hicksville. That's the vibe of this album. Not to say it ain't catchy and there ain't bangers. But they're bangers of a lesser degree. Even the songs with a touch of strangeness... They hit the spot that you want when you're a young Doors fan, but again they feel like lesser retreads.

Live At Leeds

The Who

4/5

I know it's hard to believe now, what with all of their tax-avoiding, Brexit-supporting, pseudo racist Boomer ways, but once upon a time The Who used to be cool. They played fast and loud - what passed for ferocious back in the day, all wide-eyed and helicopter armed. This live album captures that early charm and remains one of the best examples of a pure, no-nonsense Live album. The Who's best studio work came out in the 70s after this album, so none of those songs appear here. It's a bit rubbish that we get so many covers given the guys were right up there with the best songwriters of the era. But they play everything like it's the last night on Earth and they want to make sure you're too deaf and dazed to notice the asteroids hitting.

Supa Dupa Fly

Missy Elliott

2/5

Hmm, many of the 'older' hip hop albums on this journey I have enjoyed. But will I like this, given that I have not enjoyed - have actively disliked - the little I've heard from Missy till now? She never seemed like a serious rapper to me - her music videos all having some dance routine. Dance routine = manufactured pop = no cred. Another mark against her is that she seems to have only influenced some of the worst music and worst people of today. But perhaps this album has some good stuff. At least it doesn't seem to have that awful freak on song. Well. It's painfully formulaic, predictably repetitive, and like the worst of female led 90s RnB, it feels robotic and too percussive. Some people like that and that's fine. I suppose you could dance to it if you were of such a mind. But yeah, not very good, lacks the quality I expect to be included on such a list, but it's probably fair that some Missy album or other appears here given her impact. This one tho? Bland, barren, tuneless. One final note - those 'beats' you hear people inexplicably praising, you know, by far the easiest most talent-free part of music creation? They sound like a toddler gently tapping two plastic spoons together. Beats, my arse.

Something/Anything?

Todd Rundgren

2/5

To my reckoning I only know one Todd song. Luckily it's a good'un, appearing on arguably the greatest Comedy and greatest movie soundtrack of all time - Dumb and Dumber. The CD soundtrack is so packed that that song doesn't even appear on it, bizarrely. Todd "Carty" Rundgren is of course better known for his infamous stints in both Grange Hill, EastEnders, and for skating 'uo the wrong chute' in Twats On Ice. Before he was Tucker Jenkins-ing all over the Dining Hall, he was recording unnecessarily long albums featuring songs about love, falling in love, being in love, luvin', and love. This seems to be one such album. Some good tracks on here, none quite as good as the Grange Hill theme tune, and it far outstays its welcome - also like the Sausage launching kids show. I am currently eating very potent Salt N Vinegar crisps. Points for all the faff and experimentation and for doing most of it himself, but the majority of the songs aren't very good. There are simply too many songs and for all of the experiments so many of the songs are copy pastes. I will never fathom why songs 9-13 are all present when any one of the songs would have been enough, each sharing the identical plinky plonky piano sounds and rhythm. The spoken word song has no business being on the album - indulgent, dated nonsense. It's disappointing as I was looking forward to this, having loved Can We Still Be Friends and enjoyed the first handful of songs. But my patience only goes so far and as much as I held out to give this a three star review, it just isn't deserving.

The Velvet Underground

3/5

It's fine. It's nice. I can hear the bands it influenced. That Murder song is fun. The guitars are way too jangly.

Fear Of Music

Talking Heads

2/5

Everyone loves Talking Heads. When someone tells me they love Talking to me Heads, I give them the ol' Side Eye and Wide Berth combo. Before starting this journey I only really knew 2 songs by them, hated both. And the silly dancing and clothes, which I hate more than Mussolini. I have since heard one of their albums, can't remember which one it was, and I think I gave it three stars. I've already forgotten everything about it, beyond not hating it. Perhaps I... Have a... FEAR OF MUSIC. I don't though, that would be ridiculous. I just don't like shit music. This isn't bad in and of itself. Make no mistake - it isn't great - it's more that you can smell all the artists and music this influenced, and almost none of that was good. The world would surely be a better place today if this did not exist, such is the tripe which came in the aftermath of this album and this band. Too jangly, too dance-oriented, too confidently up itself without warrant. The opening song...no need for it to be over a minute long. The second track, looping and irritating, great production except for the fact that the vocals are too low in the mix. But then you remember the vocals are bad, so maybe this flaw benefits the listener. Track three - guitars and drums are good in isolation, shame they're part of such a junk song. Talky-singy is a big no no for me. Four - the minor chord moments are nice, otherwise this is more jangly dance clown music. Fifth would be okay without the silly vocals. Drums getting repetitive now. Sixth song is pretty cool. Seventh is almost funny with its Carny 'come this way if you fancy a handjob ' spooky vibes, but once more the vocals are an atrocity. The eighth song is genuinely good, ruined of course by the vocals and tainted by those same familiar drum loops (buh-tih, buh-tih, buh-tih, tiddleliddle-tih - EVERY SONG). The one after is the sort of discordant nonsense that New York Art types lap up with their monocled teets. Next one sounds like the Bully videogame soundtrack and the last one is, appropriately, repetitive experimental wank. Look, I like weird shit. I have no problem with it. But the vocals are bad. Nothing to do with how zany they are, how many grunts and pronunciation quirks there may be... It's that they are flat, tuneless, ultimately lifeless. The music is largely dull but you can tell the band is talented. Same with the production - wrapping a dog turd in chocolate still doesn't make it edible. It is not for me, and while I accept I'm in the minority, I don't accept that as many people who claim to love this actually do.

Solid Air

John Martyn

3/5

After the experimental nonsense of Talking Heads, this album art and name is giving similar vibes. Maybe this one is actually good? Never heard of it or him. It's mostly dull as dishwater and the dude seems to be yet another white guy with a fetish for black guys in the Southern US, but when the songs pick up the pace and edge it's better. That doesn't happen nearly enough. When it does, this is good. May You Never is also good. Man I The Station is good. More of that, less of t'other.

Paranoid

Black Sabbath

5/5

It's Sabbath's most famous album, with their biggest songs. A landmark in Metal. Is it their best? Who knows. But I have to score the best Metal albums five stars so they get more appreciation than the random indie/jazz/folk/RnB faff which has had zero cultural impact.

Our Aim Is To Satisfy

Red Snapper

3/5

Is this album a Led Zeppelin joke? I know nothing of this, but it's giving Indie or Dance vibes. I was correct - this is a dance album, but more experimental and Indie than commercial and club-oriented. And what lyrics there are follow the saucy 'ooh matron' vibe of the artist and album name. The first song is pretty good and the rest are fine. Most songs are a tad overlong given the inherent repetitive nature of the genre, but not excessively so. It's not as bad as the one stare reviews or the overall average overall score would suggest - those reviews mostly by people who unironically enjoy Country 'music' - but I can't in good conscience give it a four to even the average out. It's a solid three star album, but nobody needs to hear it before, or after, they die.

Timeless

Goldie

2/5

I remember that Goldie fella. He's the one with the teeth, right? I don't remember hearing much of his music but do remember dismissing what I heard as crap, given the fact that it was. But it has been many years since then and perhaps now the music is good, given the fact Goldie probably no longer has teeth. This has some fleeting moments of goodness and the production is strong. I give credit for trying to make something epic and it was certainly influential. However, it's too long. Most songs are too long, there's too many songs, and most of each song is a repetition of the previous twenty seconds. I recognise that is a flaw with this type of music, music designed for the dancefloor and nowhere else, and it wouldn't matter if any song was two minutes long or twenty. The length doesn't impact the quality, just the experience. It's safe to say this isn't my kind of music, but people who like this genre seem to love this.

The Last Of The True Believers

Nanci Griffith

2/5

I simply cannot fathom how this kind of Country music was still being made in the 1990s. We are not a serious species. An extra star for non-generic lyrics.

In A Silent Way

Miles Davis

3/5

Ahh, is this this first Jazz album on my 1001 journey? I have listened to a few of the greats over the years and it is fair to say none of them have done anything for me. Primarily because I dislike the sound of brass instruments. Second - they're just a lot of twiddling and anti-melodic nonsense. But perhaps today is the day I discover my first good Jazz album... It's not as bad as I was dreading. I don't think I'll ever love Jazz, but this was much more varied than what I've heard before. The arrangements weren't as loose, motifs were more impactful, and crucially there were more interesting instruments employed and given centre stage. The drumming is less bombastic and more funky, the music is less big-band, we have keyboards, we have guitars! Minutes pass without a single parp of brass. Again, as someone who loves vocals, lyrics, the emotion brought forth by the human mind through the conduit of the human voice, instrumental albums such as this are a struggle. As someone who knows there way around an instrument or two, I will always appreciate the skill and tightness of the musicians here. This is a great showcase. But if the music is dull or I cannot connect to it on more than a purely technical level, then it's not likely to be an album I'll remember or want to listen to again. The music on this one is rarely dull but after a few tracks I do get distracted and yearn for something different - a voice, a different beat or rhythm. There's little emotional connection. I am obliged therefor to give precisely a three star review. For me, for a Jazz album, that is high praise.

Murmur

R.E.M.

3/5

I've never much liked REM, mostly because of Stipe's nasal mewling, but in the 90s I couldn't deny the greatness of some of their music. On a separate listening journey I caught one of their early albums - not this one - and it contained none of that 90s goodness. I wonder what this one has in store for me. The Low-fi nature actually helps the album, as Stipe's vocals are less at the forefront. Add to that he was still growing into his voice and trying to figure out what he wanted to sound like, so later bad decisions had not yet been made. Elsewhere, the songs feel very... Weak. That is my problem with much of those American early alternative music. It had no edge. Everything is nice, shaking hands, pat on the back, I'll just play this little jangly riff for a few seconds while looking ashamed that I ignored mummy's pleas to learn piano instead. This is especially noticeable in the choruses where you want a bit of welly to make the songs more impactful, it instead they trundle along sounding like a band consisting of your school teachers rather than someone grabbing the world by the throat. Now, there are nice melodies here, solid ideas, but it too often gives the impression of a debut album, of a band recording their early crappy songs before they had the ability and experience to write anything good. The drums are distractingly flaccid, We Walk is bad enough to almost bring the whole album down to a One Star, and too many choruses sound like the one before. In essence, it's a poor man's Pablo Honey.

Every Picture Tells A Story

Rod Stewart

3/5

A solid contender for potentially appearing in the as-yet-unwritten book 'Another 1001 Albums You Should Hear Before You Die'.

My Generation

The Who

4/5

One of the classic debut albums, this gives a flavour of The Who's live prowess and songwriting chops - a few standout tracks and solid covers. They would come in to their own in later albums, replacing some of their edge with smarter, stronger writing, but this would have been bombastic and exciting at the time. It's a little dated and watered down by today's standards but well worth a listen for cultural perspective. If I were (and I am) making my own list of 1001 Albums, I would set a limit of two albums per artist - this would likely not be one of the two by The Who.

Clube Da Esquina

Milton Nascimento

4/5

Having now heard this, I can say with confidence that this album is likely better than every Country and Jazz album on the list.

The Predator

Ice Cube

4/5

Is it a three or four? Let's go four because it feels like it was important.

Central Reservation

Beth Orton

2/5

Unforgivably bland. The opening track is a 3, every other song is a 2. Frankly unacceptable that this is included on the list over a Thea Gilmore or Gemma Hayes.

Deep Purple In Rock

Deep Purple

4/5

My personal feelings are a three, but given its importance and the fact that I'd probably have liked it more had I been around at release, I can go four. I've tried to get into Deep Purple, but their overall jazziness, their less impactful melodic quality, and Gillan's vocals keep me at a distance.

The Queen Is Dead

The Smiths

4/5

It's the best Smiths album. In fact, it's probably the best album of its kind. I went through a period of loving The Smiths in my younger days, but they didn't have the staying power for me. Still plenty of bangers I'll gladly listen to again, but soured by the fact that Morrissey is now a bit of a twat.

Heroes to Zeros

The Beta Band

3/5

I remember these boys getting a lot of hype in the press at the time - that odd time in rock music when you didn't know where the fickle winds of popularity would fall, coming after Nu-Metal and Pop Punk, and before the dreary onslaught of crappy US and UK 'The' bands. And yet, I don't think I ever actually heard any music by this lot. These guys were never going to be the next big thing. They're too weird for a start - not mainstream enough. But they have that quirky quality which will ensure they remain a cult band. There's a lot of good stuff here, songs are varied - even if they do suffer from 'which instrument haven't we tried yet' syndrome. As varied as the songs may be, there's a sense of dullness and repetition within them. Maybe it's the fact that the singer sounds like knock-off Chris Martin, maybe the fact that quirkiness only goes so far, or maybe that this type of music knows no levels - it never goes hard, it never has edge, it never withdraws - there's a definite sense of sameness.

Pet Sounds

The Beach Boys

4/5

I have somehow gone through over 40 years of life as a music fan having never heard this album in full. Now, obviously I know all about it - in the grand scheme of greatest album of all time lists, it's this, Revolver/Sgt.Pepper, and What's Goin' On which seems to top the lists. Don't worry - I've heard those other three albums, I'm not a complete pleb. I've also heard a few songs from Pet Sounds before - who hasn't? In my musical journey, I have been working my way through the entire back catalogues of artists I never got around to. The Beach Boys are one of those. I thought I would love them, given the fact that everyone else does and that I love plenty of their singles. But then the reality hits - they're not an albums band. They're 100% a singles band. So many of their early albums are so strikingly similar to one another - the production improves but the songwriting essentially stays the same. You have the songs about cars, you have the songs about girls, and you have the songs about surfing. And you have an instrumental or two. You might even get a song about cars, girls, AND, surfing. And the songs all follow the same plan - keyboards, lush, harmonies. This is where The Beatles always excelled over The Beach Boys - other lyrical subject matter, other sounds, more dynamic in their range of genres and styles. But Pet Sounds is the big boy. Is this where they put away their boyish notions of girls, cars, and surf boards? To a point, yes. There's more to the lyrics here. Still not as expansive or as expressive as what other bands were singing about at the time or since, but a definite improvement. The production is unsurprisingly gorgeous. The harmonies are here in full force, it's lush, and both Wouldn't It Be Nice and God Only Knows are all time bangers. But then there's everything else. Everything else as in the rest of the songs all blend into one big Beach Boys wash and sound the same. You could pick any non-single from this album and compare it against any non-single from any of their prior albums and...what? What's the difference? Better lyrics, sure. But it's the same shtick. Throw in the fact that there's only so much of Brian Wilson's wailing that a sane mind can handle before the saccharine sweetness punches your teeth through your brain. And what the balls is that album cover? That's right up there with those hilariously bad religious album covers where some cross-eyed halfwit proclaims that Jesus has 'touched them'. No he hasn't. Because he isn't real, and never was. Thankfully Mike Love and others chime in and give a break. But this is an example of an album where all the songs are good - some are perfect - but it's still a struggle to get through the whole thing in one go. Such is the case with The Beach Boys. Listen to any song in isolation and you'll have a great time. A few in a row and you'll have a smile on your face and you'll probably hum them for the rest of the day. Any more than that and you'll start thinking 'hey, didn't I play this one already' and 'why are my teeth going all weird and tingly'. But it's Pet Sounds. It was influential. It has a couple of the best Pop Songs ever written. Critics fiddle each other talking about how good it was. The stories of its recording and aftermath are legendary. Such are the peripherals and context to ensure an album gets on a list such as this. It's very good, but come on, it's not as good as you think. The title track is close to garbage and all the trains, dogs, and bike sounds sound very very silly now.

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Kanye West

4/5

I've never heard a Kanye album. In fact, I think I've only ever heard that Gold Digger song, and it was annoying as all hell. But I know that people loved him, before he turned into a twat. I suspect he has always been a twat. But did he make good music? Hip hop can often be difficult for me to assess. Do I like the song because I like the song, or do I like the song because it samples songs I like, and it's those songs in actually enjoying rather than the new thing. Somewhere in the middle I suppose. There's no getting away from some of the bangers here. Kanye's voice is annoying and nasal in places, but at least it isn't loaded up with squeaky effects like the shite you hear today. And the lyrics aren't all about money, women, and guns - though there's plenty of that.

Palo Congo

Sabu

2/5

This started out as a three for me, as a one off song is jaunty and fun enough to listen to. But the repetition soon sets in. Maybe this was influential at the time, but as an interesting or enjoyable listen there is little here. This is, at best, music to dance to. I don't like dancing.

Club Classics Vol. One

Soul II Soul

2/5

Whenever I see the words 'club' and 'classic' in the same sentence, the thought which can dissuade me from that oxymoronic phrase is the memory of that 'classic' moment when my brother vomited on the floor in a 'club' and some dude didn't see it, walked through it, and slipped on his ass. Every crevice and all through his hair it went. Nothing else good has ever occurred in a club, least of all any music. Nevertheless, there are a couple of songs here that I have childhood memories of. Less fond than the memory above. It's always amusing when you watch TOTP2 or some other 'live performance' of an old dance act or boy/girl band. The absolute STATE of the dance routines. And then you watch (insert modern chart artist) today and its the exact same level of cringe. WTF are you doing? Why are you dancing like that? Why are you dancing at all? For extra laughs, mute the sound or play some random Carnival music. We live in a cursed timeline. Still, better to have this on the list than Scooter. Oh fuck, Scooter's on the list, isn't he?

Zombie

Fela Kuti

2/5

I have little doubt that this dude went through awful hardships that no-one should and that this album is important because it was an act of defiance. But it's just a pile of brass parps and near tuneless jazz, such is the way with the genre. If this is someone's favourite album, then more power to you and I bow to the elemental wonder of music. But for me it was repetitive and impossible to connect with. Also, there were no 'cute fellas' or zombies.

Modern Sounds in Country and Western Music

Ray Charles

2/5

Two jazz albums in a row? I'm still on the search for finding a single worthwhile Jazz album - one I can clearly understand to be better than the majority of jazz albums, but so far the music tossed up by this list has fallen short. I've actually hear this one before, and it took is parpy nonsense. Yes, I know this one is less jazz than Jazz, but still... The best thing about this album is the fact that it proves no amount of pleasant vocals or modernizing can ever turn shit Country music into good music.

Dust

Screaming Trees

4/5

Ahh, as a Grunge boy I did like Screaming Trees. That said, I never had any of their albums and only knew a few of their songs, so this should be nice. Man, I needed this after two bland jazz non-entities. It's certainly on the lighter, nicer, commercial side of Grunge but to hear some actual songs after two days of trumpet and piano fiddling, it's like a revelation. In 1996 Grunge was all but dead and this album feels more like a generic alt-rock album. Lanegan's voice was always a standout - a non-traditional rock and Grunge tone - and the songs are just what I'd expect to hear while Claudia has a freakout in Party Of Five. It's probably a three star album, but it gets the extra star for nostalgia, for Lanegan RIPing in peace, and for saving me from a third day of people deep-throating a horn and calling it revolutionary.

Kind Of Blue

Miles Davis

1/5

I don't know if this is the greatest Jazz album of all time, but it certainly sounds like the worst. I have heard this before and I have heard some jazz albums jazz fans say are bad, but there seems to be little difference. Also, it is clear the site is trolling me after my Screaming Trees review yesterday. It also seems like the site promotes lemming behaviour - the fact that early promoters voted this high means that later reviewers will give the album a cursory five minute listen, not really get it, but assume everyone else is correct, give it five stars, and congratulate themselves. I don't believe for a second so many people genuinely believe this is as good as the score it currently has. The good thing is, having heard this already I never need to hear it again, so consider today a day off. I suppose I should say something positive. That two note bit which pops in and out... That's almost like a hook you can almost remember. It is no doubt influential, but there is also no doubt that living in the 1950s must have sucked if this was the peak of music. Thank fuck for The Beatles. A two star album dropped to one star for the frankly ridiculous fake fawning over it.

Rising Above Bedlam

Jah Wobble's Invaders Of The Heart

2/5

There's some fundamental lizard part of my brain creaking and cawing that I have heard this name before, but I'm not sure I agree. It has a touch of Madchester and a massive smattering of drugs and up yer arse poetry. It's not very good, but a couple of songs are fine. All said, there is absolutely zero reason for this to be on any such Must Hear list. And yet, it is better than the entirety of the Country genre.

The Modern Dance

Pere Ubu

2/5

Man, they really just let anyone sing in the old days.

Maxinquaye

Tricky

2/5

Tricky. Was that the rapper or the Brit-pop band? The rapper, which is a shame. I could have tolerated this more had there been less English accents and discordant noise.

Debut

Björk

3/5

I've always had the feeling that Bjork would be like David Bowie for me - I like the idea of them rather than the reality. Like Bowie, I've loved her movie performances, less so her music. I can get behind the idiosyncrasies and the uniqueness of the music, but I can't say I've loved any of her songs. That said, I've only heard a handful of singles and never a complete album till now. I remember more of this than I was expecting, but it is mostly a collection of interesting sounds. Interesting does not equal good, but this has some good.

Bad Company

3/5

As straight down the centre of the MOR as it is possible to get.

Marquee Moon

Television

4/5

An album I'd read about but never heard a single note from. I was wary given its New York and art punk tags - two terms which rarely go well together or on their own - but I thoroughly enjoyed this. Great riffs, good music, but a shame the vocals are an abomination. An album which could have been five stars had the rest of the group took a stand and said 'yeah, but you're recruiting an actual singer'.

The Wildest!

Louis Prima

2/5

Never trust the musical opinion of anyone who has the 1950s listed on here as their favourite decade.

Arular

M.I.A.

1/5

I know the name and I'm sure I heard some of these songs back in the day, but I couldn't tell you what any of them are. Presumably once I listen some memories will come back. Gimme 45 mins or so... First off, M.I.A is a bit thick, throwing her pseudo-intelligence behind anything she seems as anti-establishment. She has supported both Corbyn and Trump, something only a truly broken mind could reconcile. Like many children of war, she's obviously scarred, but has allowed those scars to dictate her life in some of the worst possible ways. Anti Co-vid Vax, thinks 5g is going to... something? Oh yes, she claims to have had a vision of Jesus. She is a person pulled into political discourse due to her upbringing, but has been swallowed by every black hole going, lacking the smarts to understand what is in front of her. For all the good things she promotes, this is a person who must be entirely dismissed. This doesn't mean her music is good, bad, or otherwise, but it sets some context. This album is a serious clatter, noisy, all over the place, cheap, dated, influential, pulling from all matter of sources to make something ultimately redundant. For all the fierce noise, it comes across as your local loon deciding to take a swim in the nearest bin, armed with a couple of frying pans. Something I've never enjoyed about British rap is the pantomime accents employed. This is front and centre in the vocals here, made worse by repetitive lyrics and cheap clicky beats. But that's the rapping, maybe she can sing? No, sadly no. Slurred and monotone and whining, it's the voice of a hoodie yelling 'bruv I'm not gonna lie but I'm gonna smash this here window if you don't unlock that dog, innit', after you trap them inside the corner shop they've just tried to rob. It sounds both dated and modern at once. Dated because, well, listen to it. And modern because so much of modern, viral, Tik Tok shite follows the same clicky, squeaky, anti-melodic pattern. A truly awful Microsoft paint vomit for the artwork with the approach of 'just one more CTRL V from clip art'. Turns out I don't actually remember any of this. Clearly I travelled in better circles with better taste. I can't leave with such negative comments, so I'll finish with this - plus points for some of the lyrics and lyrical themes (shame they're buried under such shite music), and I imagine you could probably have a good time dancing to some of the songs if you were off your tits or being chased by the filth.

Veckatimest

Grizzly Bear

3/5

I believe this is the first time I have heard of this artist and album. Now that I have heard it, I can confirm it is an album, and it was by this artist.

Le Tigre

3/5

I simply cannot imagine a world where this is deemed an album one should hear before dying, ahead of a single album by The Gathering.

Bitches Brew

Miles Davis

2/5

I had this playing on my laptop on the end of the sofa. My cat wanted to jump on me to have a sleep, but when it heard this album playing it jumped back down and flicked the dirtiest glance you've ever seen, over and over, between the laptop and me.

The Doors

5/5

The first, and probably best Doors album before they began to lose their mystique and sound samey.

New Gold Dream (81/82/83/84)

Simple Minds

3/5

I was never a New Wave fan. Too much focus on appearance, too much focus on dance, the same old low/not quite baritone vocals, and a favouring of bass guitar - the least important instrument in a rock band's line-up. What the best of the genre often got right was atmosphere. The use of keyboards and synth to generate a mood, and an instance on slowing the pace when necessary creates and evocative, nostalgic early 80s vibe which is difficult to recreate. For those of us who were there or experienced that era, this music has the innate ability to transport us back to a time of neon lights and throbbing mystery. This album contains the best and worst of the genre. It has the vibe and atmosphere, but it has the dull and yelping vocals sounding like the boring school kid with the pretend balls-dropped deep voice taking his turn to give a speech on soil erosion. Like much music from this period, it sounds both dated and of its time - dated in that sounds and tech and style have moved on, of its time in that you would never again have music that sounded like this again. There are no turds here, it's just decent music. But it's missing a banger, a standout song. And to have an instrumental song in a nine song album is almost unforgivable. So, it's fine. No peaks, no lows, just another album.

Channel Orange

Frank Ocean

3/5

I don't know who this Frank Ocean guy is, but I've heard his name plenty. Is he a fisherman? Does he live in a lighthouse? Does he spend his days rending apart slices of seaweed and picking pieces from his teeth. Presumably, the answer to all these questions is yes. Turns out he's rap dude, which makes it all the more perplexing that his name isn't L'il Seagull or MC Kraken, or Phrank O'Shawn. On first listen this feels very much like those shitty 90s RnB groups who had a one but wonder about sex, but song in silky vocals to make it tolerable for uptight white ladies. You know, like Boyz To Men, but crap. On closer inspection you hear the off pitch vocals and understand why this saltwater dweller never had a hit. Filled with redundant non-skits and Temu beats, there is an impressive willingness to experiment which unfortunately overrides the good sense to make music which contains notes. As a result, this comes across as a rambling, incoherent, well-made mess. That said, there is a second half run of good songs which, had there been more of these and less nonsense, would have solidified this as a near 4 star album. Truly mystifying that, with more than half of the songs being nonsense, that this is getting so many 4 and 5 star reviews.

The Dark Side Of The Moon

Pink Floyd

5/5

I've always felt this is the lesser of the Big Four Pink Floyd albums. And so it remains. But each ithise is a masterpiece.

American IV: The Man Comes Around

Johnny Cash

3/5

You see it all the time, especially on Reddit: Name a cover song which is better than the original. Instantly you have a hundred clampets falling over one another to scream 'mummy! Mummy, please, I know this one! It's Hurt by Johnny Cash!' Except it's not. Crap song to begin with, and the cover isn't any better. Having said that, both are infinitesimally better than that torrid Mad World from Donnie Darko. If a covers albums must be on this list, I suppose it should be this one. It has that emotional and cultural weight - the final words of a man who has been part of the Zeitgeist for more than half a century, feeling the reaper's icy claw squeeze that bit tighter. As with any covers album, there will be covers of songs you like(In My Life) and songs you can't stand (Personal Jesus). It's not unusual that being so close to death a religious dude will select songs related to the particular brand of fairytale he was indoctrinated into, but he also retained some humour in his song choices. Perhaps the funniest choice is the decision to release what amounts to a rap album as his final product, a middle finger to Country fans indeed. His talky-singy renditions belonging more on the gangsta side of the aisle than the cowboy.

The Gilded Palace Of Sin

The Flying Burrito Brothers

1/5

The USA is a very silly place. Look at all thes guys, hanging out amidst broken faggots of wood in their local sandpit, adorned in their Sunday best. Nobody smile! It'll give us credibility to the music purchasing youth! Imagine how much better this album would be if there was no steel guitar. Significantly better. It would be significantly better. Alas, it would still be crap though. 9 out of these 11 songs are unlistenable.

Odelay

Beck

3/5

Having loved through the entire 90s and through Beck's (I assume) peak period, I think I've only heard two of his songs. Both were fine, I didn't think much of them and didn't care to learn more. He seemed like the male equivalent of the manic pixie dream girl trope, a walking Wes Anderson archetype. I understand this is generally taken to be his most acclaimed album. We shall see. Wait, three songs! I remembered Loser. That was Beck, right? This is fine. Perfectly fine. Average. A typical slacker vibe, if a little try-hard. A precursor to the hipster movement. Cheesy as hell, to the extent that the entire album feels like that Steve Buscemi fellow kids meme. The songs are fine, dull but funky in that slacker way. Very much an example of chucking every instrument you can find at an empty husk and hoping something viable is constructed. It's a good example of that type of music, but when stripped back you realise how hollow (or non-existent) the underlying song is. Sure, what remains is a song, but there's nothing underneath. You can't take the core and make something better, you can't reduce it to a single instrument and vocalist and have something good. All style, no substance.

Viva Hate

Morrissey

3/5

Separating the art from the artist; it's one of those unending challenges for fans of music, film, literature, sports... Anything really. It turns out, most people who get a platform either end up being dicks or become dicks. I went through a briefer than most Smiths phase in my younger days. The whole Manchester music scene never did much for me, but The Smiths were the one group who I rated. Good tunes, good guitars, funny lyrics for sad boys. Plus they hated Thatcher, like all sane people should. But they didn't have much staying power. Outside of a handful of songs on each album, while I recognized their overall importance, I could live without them. And so, I had no inclination to listen to any of Morrissey's solo work. Had you told me at the time this was just another Smiths album, I would have believed you. The voice is obviously the same, but so is the rhythm, best, melodies, sound, and even the guitars. Which means it's good. Is it four star good? Maybe. There are some strong songs here, up with the best of The Smiths. But there's also all the other stuff which just exists. And then there's the fact that Morrissey turned out to be more than a little like Margaret. I feel for those who held him up as a hero. So, I must go with three stars. It's a good album, deserves it's place for being Morrissey's debut, but outside of a few songs I won't listen again. He doesn't deserve that attention.

Led Zeppelin

5/5

When people say 'Beatles or Stones', I say Zeppelin. This is the band at their most raw. If ore the thievery if you can and focus on how they took any song they touched and made it unmistakably theirs.

Illinois

Sufjan Stevens

3/5

I've been waiting for this. I had a girlfriend once who liked Sufjan. No, I have no idea how to pronounce that name either. This can go one of three ways; it'll be the hipster tripe I anticipate. It'll be great and I'll love it. Or it'll be the latest in the long line of critical darlings which is actually just bland and forgettable, if harmless. First thing - there's a lot of songs. Points for the ambition and I know the guy is prolific. But for one album it's a lot. It's not exactly The Wall, or my own 46 song concept album about potato picking (which is superior to Illinois), but it's worth calling out. Unlike those two albums, this one doesn't have much variance, so a sense of sameness creeps in long before the halfway point. Plus points for not having a crap voice and making the album size a pain. It does have a lot of throwaway garbage, which is to be expected from something of this size and style. A lot of it is twee and plenty of it deals with people and places that nobody outside of the US cares about. I mean, Abraham Lincoln? Who the hell is that!? Couple the twee nature of the bulk of the music with the overly saturated brass sounds and the slice of life lyrics and whatever emotion is supposed to be on display gets sapped for me. I know there are songs where I'm supposed to feel sad and others where I'm supposed to feel happy, but the do-di-do rhythms like a commercial for the latest broadband deal, and the 'jimmy was a boy, he had a bike, I thought that was, a lovely sight' lyrical approach is too child-like. Yet in other places it comes together successfully. Lots of ideas, lots of ambition, some good melodies, but on a single listen not much hits the mark. I think I would get more out of this with more sittings, but I'll grab a few songs, slap them on the playlist, and see if they become favourites or irritants.

Seventeen Seconds

The Cure

3/5

I should love The Cure, what with my dubious tastes and all. I have listened to all of their albums before, a teenage exploration in trying to hunt down my next obsession, but beyond the singles I already enjoyed, I didn't discover many new songs I liked. I dismissed them as a singles band I respected, if didn't love. It'll be interesting to see if I have changed. My thoughts on the band haven't really changed, but paying closer attention now there are more non-singles I enjoy. I doubt I'll ever be fully on board with Smith's vocals. Even having heard this album several times decades ago, there wasn't anything I remembered. This debut doesn't have any big hitters, but they have their mood down pat already. Opening with an instrumental is pretty ballsy, or silly, depending on how you look at it. Secrets is a banger. The angular, jangly guitars which would be a trademark of the band and much of British alternative through the decade, is not a sound I'm overly found of, but here the gloomier mood seems to suit it. Plus the riffs are solid. The album feels a little cheap now - dated in its production quality. The drums feel wafer thin. The dreary mood and jangly sound starts to feel repetitive by the second half, and at that point the lack of any big hitters starts to make the process feel like a slog. Not their best album by any stretch, but like all of these lists which rank by importance, the fact that this was their first carries some weight.

Can't Buy A Thrill

Steely Dan

3/5

I think this is my third or fourth Steely Dan album so far, and they've all been good. Not five star good, but better than all the needless Jazz and Country wank, and more interesting than the one-off US Indie bands. Having said that, I don't know much about the band. Usually I read as much as I can about an artist while I listen to them. Context is important. But for this 1001 journey I want to go in raw, just like the ladies enjoy. Aside from the peripherals, I know little of their history and make-up. Now that I'm several albums deep on them, I can say Wikipedia time, ahoy! It's interesting to see how they started and where they progressed to, but if I'm honest, there isn't much to differentiate this album from the later ones I've heard. It's the same brand of breezy, light rock. Interesting lyrics, but the compositions feel on a repetitive level with those albums they would later record. Don't get me wrong, it's all still good, but I don't think I could do a sit through of all of their albums over the course of a few days - that would get dull quickly. No doubt these are talented dudes, in front and in the backing group. There are a couple of songs I'll put on my playlist, but by and large it's that lack of variety and edge which keeps me from pulling the trigger and saying I'm a fan. I like them, but to be a fan I have to love an artist.

Highly Evolved

The Vines

4/5

Yeah, boy! I was one of those early fans of The Vines, having heard some early unofficial releases and covers. I had no idea they would explode like they would, I just thought they had a cool sound. I got Highly Evolved on Day 1, saw them live, all the things. But then I stopped caring. Their impact was immediate but didn't leave a lot of after taste. Put simply, there were better artists. All these years later, I haven't heard anything they made after this album. Admittedly this album is all over the place, with druggy ballads and Grunge explosions, and assorted nonsense. It definitely could have done with some shaving - some of the songs do nothing but add some curios to the bloat. But the handful of bangers are still bangers. It's a good album, fun, but doesn't need to be anywhere near this list.

Odessey And Oracle

The Zombies

4/5

Like most of us, I only knew the big song from this album,but was keen to hear more. None of the songs here are as good as that one, but a few come close and none are bad. It's a solid slice of 60s Rock. I'm not on board with the spelling of 'Odessey', but that's a minor complaint. It's a three star album, but I'm feeling positive today, so four it is.

The Healer

John Lee Hooker

3/5

I find Blues such a strange genre. I should like it - I love The Blues Brothers, I love and play guitar, I appreciate the genre's history and that it was a stepping stone to Rock, and I love that it is a guitar based genre. But it's so limited. In the entire history of Blues, there's only about three different songs. Cut it up, slow it down, speed it up, throw flashy solos at it, play it with a sprinkle of culture from another region, but it's still those three same songs. The Blues only became interesting when it became Rock. John Lee Hooker is one of many titans of the genre. But is he so different from any other? Many accuse this album of being a sell out. I argue that it's an attempt to make a severely limited genre interesting. It fails, but it tries. Santana playing the Blues is a good idea, but the album doesn't progress past the opening track. An artist from every country bringing their own style and talent, with Hooker playing and singing in the background would have been better. Instead, this is a standard Blues album with the odd guest star. As limited as the genre is and as average as this album is, it's still better than whatever Country or Jazz nonsense the list is bound to throw at me again.

Hysteria

Def Leppard

2/5

Def Leppard perfected wus Metal. That over-produced, Mutt Lange vibe, that horrible drum sound, the terrible singing - this was the most successful attempt yet to make something underground and brash, mainstream and accessible. As such, it was the death-knell of what the genre was. I don't mind a good power ballad. I'm a bit of a softie, having grown up during its heyday as an impressionable sensitive youth. When Love And Hate Collide is a favourite, but that's not on this album. I agree that at least one of, but probably not both, this or Pyromania should be on this list. Not because they're good or even worth hearing, it because they were so massive. Everyone knows the singles, knows they're uniquely and uniformly awful. Animal? Pour Some Sugar On Me? Among the worst disgraces pumped out in the 80s. The non-singles are non-songs. At least as bad as the hits are, they could make irritating ear worms. Even with the singles, it is bewildering to me how successful this was and remains. It's so slow, so weak, so repetitive. You could build a Def Leppard song in five minutes yourself, and nobody could tell the difference. So formulaic. It's barely heavy enough to be rock, never mind Metal. The tempo almost never changes. The songs are unnecessarily long. It's too dull to be pop, and lacks any sense of emotion, sex, intelligence, or creativity. It is a damning indictment of our species that this sold so many copies. 1 million would have been half a million too many. One of the most popular five star reviews of this album is from someone bemoaning the fact he has to gate-keep the band, and complaining without irony about today's spreadsheet and exec based music. Def Leppard were exactly that, and worse, long before today's pop stars were born. Oh yeah, the same reviewer also gave five stars to KD Lang's Shadowland. Says it all, really. Also, what the balls is that artwork!?

Abraxas

Santana

4/5

The best kind of Jazz is not jazz at all; rather, it's the rock and metal bands inspired by it. Those artists who took the good parts (the instrumental smarts, looseness, mania), and abandoned the crap parts (trumpets). Santana's early work feels both loose and tight, jammed and rehearsed, and critically, they remembered that albums tend to have songs. This album has some good songs. Of course, without that South American style this would feel like just another rock band showing off. It's different for all us white boys sick of the same scales and tunes. It's a little bit witchy, a little magical.

Isn't Anything

My Bloody Valentine

2/5

I remember being young. Being a young lad. A young lad hearing the name My Bloody Valentine. Hearing the name My Bloody Valentine and thinking 'with a name like that these guys must be awesome'. Ahh the naievity of youth. I remember hearing Loveless and thinking 'what the balls is this'. I remember being bemused that such a repetitive, tuneless dirge had been considered suitable for release. I remember being absolutely bewildered that it was considered one of the best albums of all time. A joke, surely. This is my first time listening to Isn't Anything. I don't know if this is worse than Loveless, but it's at least as bad. More of the same dismal vocals, clanging the same note/chord over and over, and droning trickery. The problem with MBV's work is two-fold. First, as undeniably innovative as their sound was, literally any fool can recreate it now with a decent digital amplifier. Play any note, loop and distort it, and sing 'aahhh-iiiii-oooooh'. Congrats, you are now My Bloody Valentine. Secondly, as with all albums which prioritize innovation over everything else, if you strip the studio trickery away, there is nothing left. Play any of these songs acoustic, with any instrument. Go for it. Go on, I'm waiting. You hear what it sounds like? Bad, right? I'm not saying they're totally useless or that Shoegaze is a redundant genre, but this is a a poor attempt at music by anyone's standards. I will say, when they actually try to write a good ol' fashioned song, they're not too bad. But those are few and far between. Take a band heavily influenced by MBV, such as My Vitriol. My Vitriol are vastly superior because they don't forget to add some melody and tone and shade.

Southern Rock Opera

Drive-By Truckers

3/5

Rootin', rootin', rock and/or roll. There's probably some guy named Skeeter in the band.

Tago Mago

Can

4/5

Hmm, my first time listening to Can. I know Radiohead loves them. Which could be a good or bad thing. But this was cool. I know you'll see this lie thrown about on many a review of many an album on this site, but in this case it's true. This does NOT sound like an album from 1971. You can tell where Radiohead, or Thom at least, were heavily influenced here. Sure many of the songs are too long and there's a lot of meandering noodling, but when it gets going it's excellent. So depending on your tolerance you'll love it hate this. I'm on the fence whether it's a three or a four. I'm not sure if the initial delight and novelty of hearing this will wear of with time, but a few of the tracks will be slapped onto my playlist and we'll see.

I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You

Aretha Franklin

3/5

It makes sense for a Aretha Franklin to be on this list given her vocal ability and influence. Respect is a banger. 'Religious' women are horny as fuck. Aretha's vocals are ridiculous(ly good). 90% of the songs are beneath her - dull, barely given life by her talents.

The Poet

Bobby Womack

3/5

How can something released in the year it was sound both 80s and dated (as in feel like a 50s (album). There's always been a market for this bland, lady-pleasing pseudo dunk, but why is it on this list? The guy can sing. It's passable chart music. Nothing bad. Nothing great. Just like a billion other songs you've heard.

S&M

Metallica

3/5

On paper, this should have worked. Metallica is known for epic songs and you would think they throwing an orchestra into the mix would only increase the epicness. But whether it's the band or Kamen, or something else, it just doesn't. The orchestra basically adds nothing, and if anything takes away from the goodness of the originals. Having grown up with Metallica, I was as excited as anyone to hear they were doing this. But I was underwhelmed when I first heard it, and every time since. The new songs are fine. But yeah, along with much of their post Black Album work, this is a disappointment.

Blood Sugar Sex Magik

Red Hot Chili Peppers

3/5

It's interesting how RHCP were legitimately the biggest band on the planet for a few years at the turn of the century, but now they seem to be suffering a retcon I to being one of the most hated bands ever. Is it because their perennially bare-chested singer admitted to having a thing with a youngster? Sadly, we must all learn to separate the product from the producer even if many producers of products have turned out to be terrible people. Having grown up through multiple eras of RHCP and enjoying many of their singles, culminating in (for me) their best work in Californication, I saw them at Slaine Castle. While the band continued to get bigger, I thought less and less of their post Californication work. Going back to my youth with this album, which I probably heard in its entirety at some point, shows just how much and how little the band has changed over the decades. If you don't like their sound, there's nothing here that will change your opinion. They have that slightly dissonant highly funky thing going on, and this album saw them push away from some of their heavier previous works. This album also has so e of their biggest bangers, but there's a lot of fluff too. Too many songs. The last two songs are terrible and could have been cut. The title track could have been cut. Get this down to 10-12 songs and it's a four.

Scissor Sisters

1/5

Oh sweet Jesus no. This shite was EVERYWHERE at release,and we're still feeling the after effects now. Truly one of the worst releases of the 2000s.

Armed Forces

Elvis Costello & The Attractions

3/5

Place a two album cap on all artists for the next edition of your book. Yes, that includes The Beatles, Bowie, Radiohead, Zep, and this guy. If someone likes those two, they'll check out the others on their own time. This one then. The music is fine, melodies fine. Nothing overly catchy or memorable and it has a few recurring tells and ticks throughout which gives certain songs a repetitive nature. It's not always helped by the dated 80s production and sound - I know it's 79, but it feels distinctly 80s. The vocals also do not help, with Costello mouthing his words - particularly the vowels - like he's cartoonist puckering his lips. It's all very faux-cutesy and off-putting. But it's not bad. Certainly nothing anyone needs to hear, but fine. Good lyrics, somewhat unique subject matter tackled in a somewhat unique way.

In Our Heads

Hot Chip

3/5

I vaguely knew, or had heard, the name Hot Chip before. It had me worried that they were responsible for one of those unforgivably awful cutesy pop songs of the noughties - Fascination, That's Not My Name, the sort of song which should have been blocked at Inception. But I don't think it's them. Instead, they turned out to be a less interesting, less good version of The Delays. While Faded Seaside Glamour is a must listen, five star album, this is a fine, straight down the middle three star slice of pop rock. I can think of no reason why this is on the list, beyond recency bias.

The Yes Album

Yes

3/5

It's fine. A lot more dull and less adventurous than I was expecting. I like Prog - in principle. I love Floyd,and I love prog Metal, but all those other 70s Prog bands I know little of. So.. a bit naff. Nothing memorable, no great memories, not even any ridiculous musicianship. But it's fine. Nothing bad. Nothing annoying.

Abattoir Blues / The Lyre of Orpheus

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

4/5

Two things amuse and irritate me in equal measure. The first is media's unending search for the next Dylan, that poetic educated, poorly capable singer to fawn over. The second is singing about religion, when religion has absolutely zero bearing on my life and should have none on yours. Cave is a much better singer than Dylan, and his lyrics are seemingly on par. This album is peppered with religious references but the addition of the gospel choir is a little too on the nose. We have a gargantuan album here with the two opening tracks each being at least a couple of minutes longer than they need to be. Each is good, but man they're really stretching my patience with each additional second over the four minute mark when nothing new is added. But aside from all of that, this is really good, ambitious stuff. If only it were shaved a tad.

Purple Rain

Prince

3/5

Aww. My first Prince album. The ladies love him, though I'm not sure why, given he looks like an emaciated goblin. I laugh at those people who claim 'that solo' is the greatest guitar solo of all time. But credit for playing most of the instruments on most of your songs yourself - that's a hell of a lot better than being able to dance and mime. But I've never liked Prince. Don't like his voice,.don't like the reliance on pansy funk. I've maybe heard less than ten songs from him throughout my life - a tiny fraction of the prolific guy's output - and have liked none of them. Some of those are on this album. Which I am about to listen to, in full, for the first time. While it's true the sound is horribly dated and exceedingly 80s, it's very well produced. The opening track is cheesy as hell with a cringe spoken intro, but solid guitar outro. The second song is almost good - ruined by poor vocals and out of place violin parts, a shame because the underlying strings and melody are solid. I knew the Hoffs version before hearing this. The third is more cheese, with lots of silly vocal yelps, spoken parts, and cheesy synths. I was ready to hate Computer Blue after the first minute, but the last half saves it. The next track confirms that the lad was indeed a dirty little goblin, but he sings it well. When Doves Cry I already knew and never cared for. I Would Die 4 U is fine - again I knew it from the Hoffs cover. Next one is throwaway, and Purple Rain makes sense as the closer but is one I knew and again never thought much of. It's fine, overrated. So, done. It's fine, overrated sums up the album. People love it and hold it in high esteem and that's cool. I never grew up with it and was always a bigger Jackson and Madonna fan. I don't doubt the lad's creativity and talent, but his music (hear at least) doesn't speak to me in any meaningful way. It's just another pop album from a time gone by - a time I lived through - but which shows all the hallmarks of how silly that time often was.

At Mister Kelly's

Sarah Vaughan

2/5

It has been a while since I've had a jazz album,yet here we are again. I don't actually know if this is jazz, but let's not kid ourselves; it's 1957, of course it's jazz. Once again, an album which proves how incredibly dull life must have been in the 1950s.

Eagles

3/5

Over here on the same part of the Atlantic Ocean, Eagles are rightfully known as a One Hit Wonders act. Bewildering then that they have one of the biggest selling albums of all time. But we shall be fair; I have never listened to any of their albums and I have hopes that this has some bangers on it. It doesn't. It does have Most Of Us Are Sad which, aside from being one of the worst song titles in history, is quite good. And so, this is as average a rock album as it is possible to be. Certainly not bad enough for me to be like one of the hundred or so super intelligent reviewers here and drop a quote from The Big Lebowski, which stopped being funny after the second guy mentioned it.

There's No Place Like America Today

Curtis Mayfield

2/5

Come now, there are plenty of places like 'America' today - North Korea, Nazi Germany, Israel, Hungary, Sudan, Russia, Iran, Ethiopia, Vietnam, Uganda, Turkey, China, Myanmar, The Vatican, Gilead, Panem, Oceania, The Sith Empire - all the classic dictatorships and religious black holes. What's funny is people kidding themselves that it has ever been any different. Mayfield, charitably, is being witty with the album title. He knows that there's a lot of shite going on. Sadly, he chooses to put his trust in a made up deity rather than actually put the responsibility on those who exist - his fellow man. What starts out as nice enough, chilled enough RnB/funk/fluff, becomes borderline unlistenable the longer it goes on. It's a short album, but it feels as long as a Sunday Church service while some twat behind a pulpit reads indoctrinated garbage from his book of nonsense.

Time Out

The Dave Brubeck Quartet

2/5

Turns out it's actually possible to listen to jazz, as long as it doesn't have trumpets. This still has all the hallmarks of jazz - anti-melodic, pointless bass, waffling drums, repetitive - but it's not totally unlistenable.

Franz Ferdinand

1/5

I hate Take Me Out with a passion usually reserved for headbutting Nazis. A song which came to typify and herald the death rattle of Rock music as a commercial force. This album is that song, repeated several more times. It's so painfully exempt of ideas, so brutally barren of talent that of course it would soar to the top of the charts and plague the airwaves for months and years. You know a guitar based song is not worth hearing when it gleefully shares the ten song radio playlist with the latest boy band, girl band, bland mummy's favourite, quirky one bit wonder, and Simon Cowell special. It's every bit as throwaway as the worst of manufactured business oriented pop. Which is not to say any of those examples can't be good. There are plenty of great songs among those shitty sub-genres of music. But they're rare. What's even more rare is anything worth hearing on this album. From the same beat and tone in every song, the lack of depth and emotion in the vocals, the staccato tippy happy guitars, and holy fuck the terrible fashion, everything about this album and this band is the antithesis of music.

Slayed?

Slade

3/5

Some ganche on her tried to claim that Slade made the worst ever Christmas song. Everyone knows Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses is the worst Christmas song, and quite possibly the worst song full stop. Fuck that song.

Melody A.M.

Röyksopp

3/5

If it's from Norway and it ain't Metal or Lene Marlin, I'm not interested. This is, at best, chilled and fine.

With The Beatles

Beatles

4/5

It's the worst pre-Yellow Submarine album by the boys, and by far the least important entry in their discography. Why it's on the list ahead of other Beatles albums is possibly the most bizarre entry in the entire list.

Face to Face

The Kinks

4/5

Sure some of the songs feel too short and like half-finished ideas than fully fledged songs, and some feel inconsequential, but they're smart, fun, energetic, and show a band more than rivaling The Beatles.

The Number Of The Beast

Iron Maiden

5/5

Not my favourite Maiden album, but easily their most important. A massive step-up from the punk oriented first couple of albums, a trio of all time Metal bangers, and with Bruce coming in they would lay the foundation for becoming the biggest Metal band in the world.

Live At The Star Club, Hamburg

Jerry Lee Lewis

4/5

Lewis was a bit of a dick, but at least he was out there making music that wasn't Jazz. Understand that by 'but of a dick', I mean 'absolute cunt'. That said, the music is limited in scope and variance, but this is compensated by the boundless energy and furious performance. I'll allow this a Live album, primarily because Lewis was an important figurein Rock and Roll who came up at a time when albums weren't really a thing. Until The Beatles, albums were usually one single and a bunch of fluff, so this serves as the best example of his work - even if that work was a bunch of covers.

Ten

Pearl Jam

5/5

Well, as a Grunge boy back in the day, this is obviously going to be a 5 star album. I don't think the bad ever lived up to this album again, but they struck gold here.

Penthouse And Pavement

Heaven 17

3/5

I don't like the vocals and I dont much like the music (I same the same for all of these British New Wave bands), and it's very dated now. But it's groundbreaking, it has good lyrics, and it deserves another star just to piss off all the Facism-embracing Americans on the site who gave one-star reviews.

Back At The Chicken Shack

Jimmy Smith

2/5

What the balls is this? MAN, these guys can PLAY... shit music.

Joan Armatrading

3/5

I had never heard of this person or album, but I'm grateful it's not Jazz. I'm sure the album will be compared to Tracy Chapman, because that's what people do. I found it more like a middle of the road Joni Mitchell knock-off with a jumbled mixture of styles. Some of it worked, some of it didn't. None of it stood out. I'm going to assume neither the album nor none of the songs were huge hits, and I will also have to assume that the album has been named as influential by some much larger star after the fact - otherwise I have no idea why it's on this list. None of it is bad - I could have done without the Country vibes in the first song - and there are moments were it gets its rizz on, such as the funky instrumental breakdown in People. You'll be sitting vaguely listening to some airy, breathy nothing song filled with space and then out of nowhere a face-melting guitar solo comes in for absolutely no reason. Or the drummer will decide to entertain himself for a minute because why the fuck not. Or Joan will get bored and nod at the band and they go buck nuts for the rest of the song. There's a piano part in Join The Boys which reminded me of Zelda, which was nice. I don't know if Joan plays guitar anywhere on the album - assuming she does from the artwork. But it's the backing band who really tears things up in certain tracks, saving this from being a 2. A great example of how production and a good backing band can drastically increase the quality of bland songs.

We Are Family

Sister Sledge

4/5

There's at least three stone cold bangers on this album. Sure almost every song is a minute too long and it probably could have had an extra song in there, but maybe this was all the best material they had. Solid pop stuff, of the Disco variety.

After The Gold Rush

Neil Young

4/5

Look, I haven't listened to much Neil Young but I know the jist. Nothing i say will be news to anyone but I must call out the vocals. To my tastes - too thin, too American. But elsewhere, this is all good. It's almost perfect, in fact. With more listens I could maybe overlook some of the annoying vocal moments. But not for a first time listen.

OK

Talvin Singh

3/5

Falls somewhere between sounding like the inoffensive background music to a movie about a guy trying to find a lost temple in India, and the WipEout soundtrack. Has no business being on this list.

Grace

Jeff Buckley

5/5

Grace is one of my favourite albums of the 90s, but I listened to it so much back then that... well it's one of those albums I've kind of sickened myself on. I very rarely get the urge to play it, but will still find myself singing most songs round the house in any given month. I don't know if he ever would have bettered this album had he stayed alive. My take is that he would have needed to do something completely different. We'll never know.

Transformer

Lou Reed

3/5

There's this strange synergy between Lou Reed, Iggy Pop, and David Bowie; they shared each other's sounds, they shared each others asses, they shared each other's needles, and they always had terrible album covers. Sometimes they made good music too, but that's by the by. Transformer has much of the glam sound of the time, Bowie pops up, and yes, its a truly terrible album cover. But it has some good music. As we all know, Glam was recently proven to be the worst sub-genre of Rock, so that's a point removed from the score. Reed's vocals don't suit the genre, so that's another point off. Perfect Day is great, the lyrics are solid, and the album is trangressive enough to piss off conservative and religious rypes, so that's two points to the good. The best moments in this album are those that step away from the Glam and back towards The Velvet Underground. It's either a three or a four, depending on my mood. Absolutely not a five. Actually, it's definitely a three.

Rum Sodomy & The Lash

The Pogues

3/5

I have a visceral dislike of Irish music, given how it has been forced upon me for a lot of my life. The screeching violins and whistles, often accompanying the worst excuse for dancing known to humankind, and it's the only type of music which makes my physically ill. Then again, I love Fairytale For New York and i appreciate any lyric which is a middle finger to the British establishment, the Monarchy, and which speaks of rebellion and defiance. Oh yes, I'm also Irish. No, not the fake American Irish, let's wear kilts and ginger wigs in Boston on "Patty's Day", while we sing songs about the 'Ra before heading back to our wooden mansions and lack of healthcare. No, I'm Irish in that I was born in Ireland and have lived here for most of my life. In summary, if you're going to have one Irish flavoured album on this list, it makes sense that it's this. However, this album would be much better if all the Irish sounds were stripped out.

Appetite For Destruction

Guns N' Roses

5/5

You wanted the best? Well they couldn't fuckin' make it. So here's what you get. From Hollywood. Guns N Roses.

Electric Warrior

T. Rex

3/5

I don't Glam rock - too cutesy, the guitar tone grates on me, and so many of the songs - even the hits - have the same structure and sound. I like 20th Century Boy, but it's not on this album. Get It On is on this album, and I think that's the only one I've heard before. The opening track starts out with a cool, funky vibe but meanders along without turning into anything else - had that song picked up pace halfway through or done anything different, it may have been a four star song. It doesn't, so it's a three. Cosmic Dancer sounds familiar - I've heard it in a movie or show or advert, or a cover. It's good, but too long. Jeepster is exactly what I mean when I say I don't like Glam Rock, while the fourth song is a lesser version of the second song. And on it goes. It's fine, it wasn't as terrible as I was worried it would be. A T-Rex album probably should keep a place on this list, given their influence and success in the UK.

Devil Without A Cause

Kid Rock

1/5

A travesty of confused heterosexuality.

Rocks

Aerosmith

4/5

Remember when the USA wasn't a complete and total fascist wasteland?

Smash

The Offspring

3/5

KERR- AAAZEEE TAXI! Like much of US punk, this is loud, fast, and dumb. A couple of vaguely memorable tracks but most of it just rattles along in a chugging haze.

Tuesday Night Music Club

Sheryl Crow

3/5

I was already to call this a one hit wonder and then make a comment about her backing for MJ. Then I listened to it and remembered some other songs.

At Folsom Prison

Johnny Cash

4/5

Man, they couldn't keep this guy OUTTA prison!

Jagged Little Pill

Alanis Morissette

5/5

It's an automatic five stars. No pretender in the decades since has come close to how powerful, visceral, intelligent, and brilliant it is, including Alanis herself.

Stephen Stills

3/5

Bookended by two good songs, with a bunch of okay songs in the middle. Solid guitar antics, good vocals, the heavy parts ain't so heavy, the soft parts are often dull. Feels like three stars to me.

First Band On The Moon

The Cardigans

3/5

I've always had a like/hate relationship with The Cardigans. Like, because Ive never loved any of their music, hate because I have hated a number of their songs. That sone they did with Tom Jones is genuinely one of the worst songs of all time. Yet, Nina shows up on Your Love Alone Is Not Enough, which is one of the best songs of all time. Unsurprising then that this album is a bit all over the place. The first two songs are good, then it falls off a cliff for the next two. Lovefool was never more than okay, but it's the big hit here. The vocals are sometimes twee and offputting, other times more tolerable and sultry. Some songs have a laid back 60s vibe. They cover Black Sabbath. So, it's a but of a mess. Whether or not the band deserve to be on this list is subjective - I'd argue that someone like Natalie Imbruglia had at least two albums more deserving of a space or two here. But if they must be, this is probably the right album in their discography.

Nevermind

Nirvana

5/5

One of the most important albums of my childhood, and one of two which cemented me on the path towards being the weird Rock and Metal guy I am.

The Genius Of Ray Charles

Ray Charles

2/5

The term 'genius' is one of the most overused and misplaced in musical discourse. What is certain, is that Ray Charles was no genius. I would go as far as saying there may not be a single artist on this entire list who deserves that title. But if we're using it lightly, in a colloquial sense, then sure, I'll allow it. If he's a 'genius' then what is also true is that his songs simply aren't very good. Limited appeal, filled with soul and skillful playing, but largely free of melodic quality and emotion. The 1950s was such a wasteland of music. While literature was in an interesting place and there was banger after banger in the Cinema, music was in a dreadful state. Rock music had made it's landing, but it was highly repetitive and derivative in the US, waiting on a much needed injection of creativity from the UK. Like most albums of the time, this is a circle jerk of megastars sharing the same hits and giving their own spin. It makes for very dull listening. Charles at least splits the album into two styles - shite and other shite. The first half is intolerable, filled with unlistenabke brass, and the second is at least at bit more tuneful. It's a shame that by the time you get there your already numb from what came before.

Haut de gamme / Koweït, rive gauche

Koffi Olomide

3/5

Cool. Something I've never heard of. Admittedly, the WTF album artwork isn't giving me high hopes, but I want to find something new I can love. It's fine. Never need to hear it again.

Live At The Witch Trials

The Fall

2/5

As Rainier Wolfcastle once said "What is it about music that enchants us? The Notes." Sadly, this album doesn't have any notes. Seriously, I counted. What it does have is lots of anger and talky singy. I don't like talky singy. But I do like anger and lyrics. In conclusion, this is a bit shit.

Definitely Maybe

Oasis

4/5

It took me longer than most to get on the Oasis train. Kurt had just died and I didn't like the faux hard man posturing of the band, and I hated Whatever. I did like Live Forever though. But it took me until What's The Story to become a fan. There's no escaping the importance of this album. Is it the best album of the 90s, or of 1994? No. But it is essential.

Kid A

Radiohead

4/5

I'll say it now; I'm a big Radiohead fan, been listening since Creep, seen them at Glastonbury, saw their first post 9/11 show... but I'm not one of THOSE Radiohead fans. I'm a big enough boy to say that they're not perfect. This isn't their best album. Honestly, I prefer Pablo Honey to this and believe that album should be here over Hail To The Thief. But this about Kid A. Arguably the biggest WTF flip on sound in the history of music. Seriously, you had to be there to understand just how divisive this was. In retrospective of course, all the signs were there, but nobody could have predicted what a U-turn this was. Almost overnight, a huge percentage of the band's fans were gone - those who liked the straightforward rock music, those who liked the sad boy ballads, those who liked that they made interesting rock adjacent experiments. Then fucking Treefingers drops. A portion of those fans would come back, but many never returned. It was certainly a shock to my system, but one I appreciated. There were so many Radiohead clones popping up that this felt like a necessity. It felt like a middle finger to...everyone. And that's cool. What isn't cool is that the band has by and large sat in this same space ever since, with diminishing returns. Yeah yeah In Rainbows bla bla... but In Rainbows is just a much worse OK Computer. They haven't really tread any new ground since Kid A. But that's fine, most bands just do one thing and that's their entire career - see AC/DC, The Rolling Stones, Coldplay. At least Radiohead did something different. But we shouldn't kid ourselves. This album isn't as good as you think it is. Of the ten tracks, only three - maybe four - are essential. The title track, Treefingers, In Limbo are poor, Optimistic and Morning Bell are average. Everything In Its Right Place is good. How To Disappear is a masterpiece, Idioteque and The National Anthem are great. Motion Picture is excellent. Even the average and poor songs are much stronger live. Thom needed the Manic Street Preachers album The Holy Bible so that he could find a new way to write. Without that album, there's no Kid A - probably no OK Computer. He has stated for the record, that he couldn't write The Bends type songs anymore, and it was understanding how Richey wrote lyrics which pulled him out of his writer's block. He also saw how the band changed between Bible and EMG, and thought 'hmm, I could have a slice of that'. So what we are left with is the most notorious experiment/gear change in music. Never a good sign when you skip a couple of songs on a ten song album. But a good sign when it contains one of your best songs, and at least another three bangers. And bonus points for havong the balls to do it.

Like Water For Chocolate

Common

3/5

It's just another rap album.

Dummy

Portishead

5/5

It's not ass. In fact, it's one of the best, most moody albums of the 90s. Not quite perfect, but not far off.

Meat Is Murder

The Smiths

4/5

Torn between a 3 and a 4 because: A: It's The Smiths But B: It has Morrissey C: It's good But D: It doesn't have any of their best songs

Pyromania

Def Leppard

2/5

I mean, yea the band had two absolute smash hit albums in the 80s, but both are wank, so we really only needed one album to appear. Think of the many, many, much better artists who didn't get a single entry. To their credit, one of the songs (forgotten the name already) is an underrated power ballad, and some of them have decent riffs...only for the resulting songs to be balls.

The Pleasure Principle

Gary Numan

2/5

I don't much like post punk, I don't like New Wave, and I've never much liked Gary Numan's voice. So this doesn't bode well. But I have nevee heard this album, so I'm going to give it a solid, 6 inch chance. This is certainly groundbreaking. But it's more evidence that groundbreaking doesn't equal good. It may well have sounded futuristic at release, but it now sounds dated AF. All it reminds me of is the synth interludes which played over animated sequences in the cheap educational TV shows they made me watch in Primary school in the 80s. And it's definitely influential, but influenced nothing better than a whole load of electronic crap which has plagued the airwaves in the decades since. Numan is not a great singer and doesn't have a great voice. While most songs have something worth hearing, that something is usully heard inside the first minute and isn't built upon. The complete songs feel like momentary experiments fraudulently stretched to radio friendly length. So yes, it should be on the list. But it isn't very good.

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