First one - giving straight up 3 stars as a benchmark to the rest. This is about me, not Radiohead

I have been passively exposed to this album my whole life, without ever once consenting to it being put in my ears. It is like reviewing dogs barking in the distance or engines idling in gridlocked traffic - something ubiquitous and vaguely annoying thrust upon us all

This album unites people. Anyone - regardless of age, class, nationality - can agree that this is a masterpiece and Van Morrison is a raging dickhead.

It’s so good I can’t even think of a pithy joke. Actually I wish I could rate U2 lower