Gemstones

Some unholy combination of Scott Walker and Leonard Cohen, but with more songs about wanking.

Best Song: Over the Sunrise. The accelerating finale (especially the last 20 seconds) almost makes a cool song. Worst Song: Crackhouse Blues. I hate this. Do something earnest, no this kind of unfunny pastiche of blues and comedy. Overall: This feels like a funny folk album that forgot to add the funny parts. That wikipedia defines its principle genre as "anti-folk" is telling: this album isn't defined by that it is, rather by what it tries to subvert. It feels like an album an acquaintance of yours could make, for which you would think, "good for them" and nothing else.

I think Americans have a different sense of humour to normal people, far crasser and more simplistic. This was a prime example, simply not funny at all, lame music, annoying vocal delivery. The songs were mercifully short, but still not enough to save this from a one star rating.

Gemstones is an eccentric, brilliantly melodic, and deeply offensive-to-some oddball record. It’s an acquired taste—either a masterpiece of warped, absurdist pop or a juvenile headache, depending entirely on your threshold for dark indie-rock irony.

It reminds me of a less quirky They Might Be Giants or a snarlier (and less funny) Flight of the Conchords. Hipster? Yes, please. Don’t know why there’s such invective vitriol expressed about this album. I found it all generally enjoyable.

Gemstones is a singer/songwriter comedy folk album, which was a popular style in the 00s. As a result I find this one a lot harder to rate than other albums since the main factor is the comedy, something that is rarely a factor in other albums. Adam Green is clearly talented, the instrumentation is well done and he can sing decently well. Melodically it's pretty upbeat, though the lyrics are rather vulgar and crass, as well as the humour being a little bit on the darker side, but I find that juxtaposition to be pretty interesting. The comedy, is fine, I got a couple of laughs out of it which was more than I was expecting, but I didn't find it exceptionally funny. Should it be in the main list: No, though I think the submitter was onto something when choosing an album like this. Top 3 songs: He's the Brat, Carolina, Emily

Weird. Funny. Short.

I wonder what someone like Adam Green would say about Adam Green's music. Myself, I don't get into the 'being edgy for the sake of being edgy' type of creativity - it, and this album remind me of the first time I wrote a curse word on a piece of paper and then erased it but my mom still found it anyway.

If you know about the anti-folk movement, then you know the Moldy Peaches. Adam Green is half of that band, and now he is here on his own. Green is a particularly quirky songwriter, weaving a variety of eccentric and especially crass stories like a court jester. Compositions compliment this style well enough, though I don't think it grabbed me all that much. CONTENDER FOR THE LIST: Maybe the Moldy Peaches album! Not this.

There were a couple of songs on here that might too out at the 3, but this was mostly stupid and musically boring.

Intriguing and irritating by equal measure. Actually, irritating wins out.

please no. you can write naughty lyrics. but the music is pretty bad, in my opinion.

So, this is what happens when the music is in service of the lyrics, but the lyrics are not really that interesting.

It was ok, little dumb and got old fast.

Is this a bit? is there something i'm missing?

I thought this was fine. I like The Moldy Peaches and was hoping it would be more like that.

I like his work with Moldy Peaches but this is just a bit corny especially with the Wurlitzer featured so prominently. The lyrics are pretty well-written though.

What a random dude

Anti-folk, alternative country. Ni fu ni fa.

Rock, Folk, Pop: Folk Rock, Avantgarde, Indie Pop. ¡Cuánto tiempo hacía que no escuchaba este disco!

C Has Mm Ttt a C

Why is this shit in a list of albums that we need to listen to during our lives? This isn't even that great for these kind of mocking songs. 1/5

This was fine. Never really explored either Kimya Dawson or Adam Green outside of Moldy Peaches. This is pretty inconsequential and whatever.

As much as I appreciate the absurdist humour, this isn't for me. Some very eye-opening lyrics — Green's sardonic wordplay is undeniable, but the novelty wears thin over 15 tracks. Respect the craft, not my cup of tea.

Hmmm, this sounds a bit polished to be anti-folk? Or maybe I've got a bit of a misconception about that genre? Eh, I didn't particularly like this, but it didn't actively piss me off. I think the lyrics woulda worked better if the sound was rawer? Fave tracks - "Over the Sunrise", and let's add "Choke on a Cock" too, for clowning on dubya.

Lite naivt kanske men lite småcharmigt samtidigt. Hört så mycket som är galet mycket sämre på den här listan. I Sverige skulle han nog hamna i kategorin "könsrock".

I like the sense of humor

Truly far from being a great album, but funny enough to deserve a quick listening session. Point for it for being a relatively short album.

I usually like quirky especially that I can sing along to. But, for whatever reason, not this. Like, at all. Sorry.

Is the point the spite? I get it's an ironic callback, I don't get the enjoyment

Drivel

Nice to see this on here, but his earlier stuff is better. B)

Whatever this smug thing thing is, it ruined my commute into work. Bullcrap

Great fun

This is that guy at camp that says really edgy things in hopes of sounding cool, but it ends up making everyone cringe. The songwriting wasn't bad actually, but the lyrics tanked the whole thing. I think, maybe, he achieved what he was going for, so that's something at least, I guess. 3/5

I’ve never heard such bizarre lyrics from a good vocalist and band. It’s as if Father John Misty had a lobotomy.

Geeky folk. Not the worst thing ever, but I kinda got tired of the guy's shtick by the end. At least it's not boring though, since you'll be constantly woken up by thoughts of "What the fuck did I just hear this guy say". Strong 2/5.

Wait so I was multitasking and I think this is so horrible I stopped what I was doing to stop this album because what the hell is this my body is convulsing please stop and never start again.

Overly faux-clever and frankly fucking annoying right from the start which rapidly descends into a near self-parody of full-impact cringe. Well-recorded, at least. Yeah - I do not like this at all, no need to go on about it. Next, please. 2/10 1 star IMO: Belonged in the book? No.

Well. That was... odd. I liked his voice, and the simplicity here, very folk-singer-y. I can't tell how serious he's trying to be with the stuff, though. Songs like "Chubby Princess" and "Choke On A Cock"... right. I think if he made the album much longer it would have felt draggy. As it is, the 30-some odd minutes fit with the briskness of the songs. I didn't laugh, really. So I can't tell if that's a success or a failure. Top tracks: "Over The SUnrise," "Crackhouse Blues," "Emily"

Adam Green has such a prominent voice - it sticks out, a lot. Almost sucks up all the remaining air or sound in the room. There's some fun guitar plucking and piano playing on this album, but I just can't help feeling like his voice doesn't match the instruments. Reminded me of Presidents of the United States of America gone a little more folk - similar vocal registry and lots of attempts at humor (a little too much at times?). I didn't dislike the album, but I think I could've liked it more.

Un estilo divertido, personal, con poco más que una guitarra, canciones con ritmo y que me ha sorprendido gratamente. Un buen disco

Wurlizter's fun, sure, and one's got no problem with va-jay-jay jokes or a certain musical jauntiness. Still the overall vibe is annoying – this is not a guy one wants to get stuck next to on a flight or dinner party. The quirk just ain't that cute. One senses a failed dinner theater star trying entirely too hard to stay in character or just be different here. He woulda been awesome on the Carole Burnett show or at a State Fair variety show. "Crackhouse Blues" is meant to be what, slapstick or satire? Poor man's Magnetic Fields, maybe? More Soupy Sales and Paul Lynde than Jonathan Richman or Rufus Wainwright? Half of the moldy peaches checks out, for sure. Regarding the question of whether this belongs on the list proper, one thinks no, 'fraid not.

It got a couple of laughs from me, but I don’t think that multiple listens would be needed or worth it.

I get how the playfulness might grate with some but I enjoyed a lot of this. 4 stars might be generous, but it's based on a feeling it'll improve on another listen.

Excruciating quirk-core

This is trash, but highly addictive trash! Adam Green doesn’t seem to care about appearing clever, and the lyrics show it. The satire is constantly way too obvious and straightforward, but I still appreciate the record for doing something (to me) completely different. Always +1 star for hating Dubya.

A little too on the nose? A little too stupid? Gemstones always seem to be one of the two - at times it’s even both at once!

"hey, look at me! I do drugs! I have sex, sometimes with girls!" Sadly, that's my takeaway... Minimal effort, and likely minimal fucks given by the artist

no song over 3 minutes and most under two? what the hell is this, a punk record? good god what tired stupid fucking song writing. choke on a cock, Adam, this is like listening to a hipster in williamsburg sing about being a sensitive horny loser and being a dumb pile of bullshit. Fuck that album.

Meah

This one just annoyed me for the most part.

I thought I had never heard of this dude before but turns out he is in the Moldy Peaches which I have heard of and have seen live. This is very anti-folk and it's silly little songs. I think anti-folk should be on the list somewhere but I dunno if this it. It's definitely an annoying genre that I can't stand super long, but thankfully anti-folk people seem to know this and make their albums super short. 30 minutes is about all I can bear of this before being like "all these songs are identical". My personal rating: 3/5 My rating relative to the list: 3.5/5 Should this have been included on the original list? Slight no, but the genre should be here, maybe the Moldy Peaches album instead?

Gemstones is musically quite dull and lyrically questionable at best, embarrassing at worst. Like not even quirky or weird for the sake of weird, just crass and stupid in equal measure. Hated it, 1/5.

God, the 2000s were a hellscape of things that aged badly because their creators confused edginess with intellectual depth. This album is another solid example to throw on the pile I don't hate it. His voice is fine, and the music is good overall. But there's no way you can expect me to listen to this Howdy Doody mother fucker sing about being in a crack house and enjoy it. It's stupid and shitty. It's fine, a lot of us were stupid and shitty in this period, but we don't need to revisit this era nearly as often as we are 2/5

This album mostly just made me tired. Green’s flat delivery, underwhelming melodies, and lyrics that seem to aim for clever but land somewhere between smug and pointless didn’t do much for me. Apparently, this is part of the New York anti-folk scene, where irony, lo-fi kitsch, and deadpan absurdity are the whole point. But it just comes off as flimsy if you’re not in on the joke.

Enjoyed this.

Liked the quirk.

This is truly terrible. I can't decide whether it'd be more appealing to the painfully nerdy crowd who want something edgier than TMBG or to the painfully hip crowd who want something ironic to go with their detached, latte-drinking superiority fantasies. Either way, it's terrible.

Yes, as others have noticed this is poor. Sorry- it's corny and simplistic.

April 21, 2025 HL: title track, “Who’s Your Boyfriend”, “Choke on a Cock”, “Losing on a Tuesday”

It's not great.

Sounded like the music interludes in 'There's Something About Mary'. I didn't hate it...

Pretty big gulf between what I thought this was going to be, and what it actually was. Kept me interested through the whole thing. Not minding what this scamp is getting up to

Sounds like a comedian trying his hand at singing songs. Musically speaking, it's rubbish. And lyrically, Adam Green is not even "too smart for his own good", he just uses a lot of ornate and "literary" words to say very dumb things, generally speaking. And he's a quite bad singer, to boot. Not "bad" in an endearing and unwittingly touching fashion. Just "bad bad", in a cringe-worthy, amateurish, self-conscious way. I have a hard time imagining how playing that sort of thing makes you wake up in the morning and think, "yeah, I need the world to hear all my songs, there's a flame in me that pushes me to do so, and I have something distinctive and personal to bring to the table". Not when you play such goofy muzak. Apologies to Alex Turner, that I roasted in my scathing and admittedly overlong review of *Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino*. At least the leader of Arctic Monkeys understands the concept of "artistry", even if I subjectively believe he comes off as pretentious and suddenly clueless about the ingredients of a good song. Conversely, you could state that Adam Green is humble in his ambitions, and is just having a bit of fun here. The thing is, I'm neither laughing nor finding his music worth the precious time of most people. A "dreamy, kind-of-cheesy companion piece" to my lowest-rated albums section indeed. I don't know, maybe Adam Green would be funnier if he decided to stop playing music and become a full-blown comedian. I've just read that he's also into film-making -- and also art -- but does he make "funny" films? As of now, I'm not interested enough to find out... On that line of thought, I'm wondering if some musicians whose career I follow could be good at comedy. I would bet on Andy "Falco" Falkous, of Mclusky, or Pavement's Stephen Malkmus. But I guess we'll never know the sort of... "gemstones" those guys could utter onstage on a comedy night. *Rimshot!* 0.5/5 for the purposes of this list of essential albums, rounded up to 1 5.5/10 for more general purposes (5 + 0.5). Number of albums from the original list I find relevant enough to be mandatory listens: 465 Albums from the original list I *might* include in mine later on: 288 Albums from the original list I won't include in mine: 336 ---- Number of albums from the users list I find relevant enough to be mandatory listens: 5 Albums from the users list I *might* include in mine later on: 9 Albums from the users list I won't include in mine: 17 (including this one)

The songwriting is generally pretty great but the lyrics were quite off putting - unnecessarily cryptic with no hints of a deeper meaning, with a load of random pop culture references and occasional filth thrown in there for good measure. The instrumentation is quite stripped back - mainly just guitar and a Wurlitzer piano - which works well on most of the songs but some of the more elaborate ones (like the opener) feel like they’re lacking some broader instrumentation to bring the melodies to life. I enjoyed it on the whole though, as the songs are inventive and versatile, reminding me a bit of They Might Be Giants. I just somehow get the impression this guy would be really annoying at parties

This man likes singing about genitals

I love Moldy Peaches and Adam Green... But this was the first album where they dialled up the production, and the relative lack of scuzz made it slightly less appealing to me?

Adam Green must be on Santa's naughty list... such a dirty boy. Did I miss some parental advisory, explicit content sticker? For a few minutes I was humming along, but suddenly I choke on a... Just kidding, funny lyrics and happy music, a pleasant surprise!

Kinda felt like some singer/songwriter type stuff, inching into Tom Waits territory singing about random things.

Woof. Scott Walker vibes are strong with this one. Cabaret style music (my least favorite), and obnoxiously navel-gazey lyrical exercises. I liked one track enough to keep, the rest were mostly skips. People really like this stuff? Takes all types, I guess.

Didn’t mind this, lyrics jumped between funny and cringey crass. Was worth a listen but can’t say I’ll rush back to the album.

This is what it would sound like if Cake turned out for the worse. This dude is obnoxious, which is a shame since the clear focus is on him and his lyrics above all.

The music is fairly enjoyable. The lyrics got on my nerves after a while.

Was this cool in 2005? Maybe. Is this cool now? Not at all. The modern lyricism with some of the folky style music was a terrible combination and it just felt like a teenager who learned the word pussy and cock saying it as much as possible. Not great 2.6/10

Sort of fun for a novelty act, but rather be listening to Richard Cheese for this stuff.

Fékk fljótt leið á þessu.

There's a guy like this playing in a coffee shop in a college town near you. He's not as clever as he thinks he is either.

Okay comedy albums are fun sometimes but they can get old. This one just rubbed me the wrong way because it wasn't particularly fun to listen to and was more vulgar than funny to me.

60s sound with raunchy lyrics.

Driving along my morning commute, enjoying Green's smooth voice and sweet Wurlitzer piano, I nearly had a few accidents as my attention was continually drawn away from potential road hazards to the lyrics. "What did he just sing? Where the hell did that come from? Am I not following the narrative? Oh my God, they closed the road for construction!" As soon as I could, I had to listen again (yay for so much goodness packed in a half hour!) and follow along to try and see if my attention was at fault or if the lyrics were, indeed, absolutely bonkers. Bonkers and brilliant! That said, even without the lyrics I would absolutely love this dreamy-sounding album.

Quirky.

Wait. What?

This is some wacky fun with crazy songs bordering on lounge music. Like candy, not ever going to be my primary diet… but nice to have once in a while. The songs sometimes struck me as too much… maybe trying a little too hard… but I do appreciate the effort to see what the limits are.

Crazy ass lyrics

Quirky, tongue in cheek singer songwriter album. Kinda funny in places, but the overriding feeling was one of naffness. Rating: 2 Playlist track: Emily Date listened: 07/10/24

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to think about this, and more importantly why I'm supposed to listed to this. the only thing I really liked here was that the songs were very short.

It sounds like late 60's musical theater with modern references. Though unusual, it certainly doesn't seem very compelling. Happy when it was over.

Good

Rating: 7/10 Best songs: Gemstones, Over the sunrise, Carolina, Teddy boys

A lot of absolute nonsense on this album.

I started listening to this with one ear while working, and was thinking "Meh..." The I started listening to the lyrics and it pushed it up to a solid 4 for me.

Anti-folk, alternative country. Ni fu ni fa.

Meeeh

I’m sure some people see artistry when they listen to this LP, but all I’m getting is crass, vulgar nonsense. Feels like someone recorded some uninspiring guitar and let the local crank talk over it just for kicks.

Very nice album. I would have NEVER listened to this album based on the cover or genre (anti-folk, Alt Country). I was pleasantly surprised. I generally loved it. Song like "Choke on a Cock" are funny - I think. Or did he? Whatever. It's all good! Standouts: Just about every song. Rating: 4.5

Simplistic music that sounds a bit old fashioned and just a vehicle for lyrics. Words are a little Morrissey (but nothing like his vocal delivery), occasionally interesting, but with bland music it's ultimately not for me. I persevered up to track eight.

I know Adam Green only through his work with Kimia Dawson in the Moldy Peaches. This album was irreverent anti-folk and I found it pretty enjoyable. Its political commentary was very of its time and its vulgarity is not for everyone. However, it’s nice to be shaken out of one’s listening patterns every once in a while.

4 Finally !! 2

The main issue with albums like this, is they're nice but boring. This is anything but, keeps my attention and plays with music styles and the lyrics lull you into nodding along before you realise what you're hearing. Very impressive, I liked it. 3.6