551
Albums Rated
3.23
Average Rating
51%
Complete
538 albums remaining
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1960s
Favorite Decade
Grunge
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Wordsmith
Rater Style ?
75
5-Star Albums
41
1-Star Albums
Taste Analysis
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Ratings by genre
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Ratings by country
Rating Style
You Love More Than Most
Albums you rated higher than global average
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| A Short Album About Love | 5 | 2.77 | +2.23 |
| I’ve Got a Tiger By the Tail | 5 | 2.81 | +2.19 |
| Kala | 5 | 2.91 | +2.09 |
| Psychocandy | 5 | 2.94 | +2.06 |
| Black Monk Time | 5 | 2.94 | +2.06 |
| Introducing The Hardline According To Terence Trent D'Arby | 5 | 2.98 | +2.02 |
| The Who Sell Out | 5 | 3 | +2 |
| Nowhere | 5 | 3.01 | +1.99 |
| Germfree Adolescents | 5 | 3.04 | +1.96 |
| Here Come The Warm Jets | 5 | 3.07 | +1.93 |
You Love Less Than Most
Albums you rated lower than global average
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| Bad | 1 | 3.8 | -2.8 |
| Graceland | 1 | 3.74 | -2.74 |
| Licensed To Ill | 1 | 3.56 | -2.56 |
| Tusk | 1 | 3.46 | -2.46 |
| Imagine | 1 | 3.45 | -2.45 |
| ...And Justice For All | 1 | 3.43 | -2.43 |
| Amnesiac | 1 | 3.41 | -2.41 |
| The Slim Shady LP | 1 | 3.29 | -2.29 |
| It's Too Late to Stop Now | 1 | 3.25 | -2.25 |
| Thriller | 2 | 4.22 | -2.22 |
Artist Analysis
Favorite Artists
Artists with 2+ albums
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Talking Heads | 3 | 5 |
| Wilco | 2 | 5 |
| Belle & Sebastian | 2 | 5 |
| Bruce Springsteen | 5 | 4.2 |
| Beatles | 5 | 4.2 |
| David Bowie | 4 | 4.25 |
| Pixies | 3 | 4.33 |
| Brian Eno | 3 | 4.33 |
Least Favorite Artists
Artists with 2+ albums
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| The Beta Band | 2 | 1 |
| Michael Jackson | 2 | 1.5 |
| Motörhead | 2 | 1.5 |
| Paul Simon | 2 | 1.5 |
| John Lennon | 2 | 1.5 |
| Doves | 2 | 1.5 |
| Metallica | 3 | 2 |
Controversial Artists
Artists you rate inconsistently
| Artist | Ratings |
|---|---|
| Fleetwood Mac | 1, 5 |
| Radiohead | 2, 5, 1, 4 |
| Beastie Boys | 4, 1 |
| Kendrick Lamar | 2, 5 |
| Van Morrison | 1, 4 |
5-Star Albums (75)
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Popular Reviews
Ramblin' Jack Elliott
3/5
A perfectly serviceable classic folk album. It does mean that there are some glaring folk holes in this list. No Dave Van Ronk, no John Renbourne, no Pete Seeger or Woody Guthrie. “Waaah those would be compilations” mother fucker there’s a Hives greatest hits album on this list there’s no consistency. Put the fucking hours long folkways Pete Seeger recordings on here, it’s arguably one of the most important collections ever. Fuck you. 3 stars
9 likes
Megadeth
5/5
Megadeth is so fucking cool. The best thing that happened to Dave Mustaine was getting kicked out of that band of losers Metallica. This album cover is so stupid too. Look at George Bush and Gorbachev. God this rules.
This album references the Punisher, aliens, fucking wizards, nuclear bombs, and is the dorkiest thing ever. I loved every second of it.
7 likes
Paul Simon
1/5
Oh JEEZ, this is…a lot. So first off, is this appropriation? On one hand he’s collaborating with a lot of African artists…but on the other…he’s Paul Simon. Plus the allegations he stole ideas from people…what else did he steal in his “I’m violating a boycott of apartheid but I promise it’s fine because look black and white artists are working together!” Well how many of those African artists benefited, and who won the Grammy and critical acclaim and a classic album. I dunno this really feels like Paul jumping on a trend that sold like hotcakes to a new liberal class too scared to take real action to stop apartheid but boy howdy we do love this African sound. Yuck. Theres this genre today in South Africa called Shangaan electro, it’s great, and if Noah Kahan made an album inspired by it everyone would rightfully PLASTER him.
What the fuck is Under African Skies. First, weird writing in general, stars in the southern hemisphere is clunky and like, yeah it’s Africa I know it’s in the southern hemisphere. But also like…Paul people in Africa aren’t all these tribal people guided by stars, people work office jobs and have cars, it’s the same “noble savage” shit that was going on with native cultures at the time. It’s insulting and infantile. God damn it Paul.
I liked the Ladysmith Black Mambazo song until Paul showed up.
Also the album sounds like ass. Except the bassist, the bass rules.
I dunno if it’s my place to condemn this album, but I know how it made me feel, and it made me feel kinda gross. Which is worse than most albums I’ve disliked on this list. Ugh.
7 likes
Dr. John
1/5
This album cover suggests this will either be so fucking amazing or an unmitigated trash fire.
Bad news! It’s way closer to the latter. Hoo boy. If you want some Louisiana fun just listen to some zydeco or something. This is just a masturbatory exercise to see how weird we can make voodoo seem to the hippies that would have been high as a kite listening to this. Shut the fuck up. It falling 200 fucking places in 20 years on Rolling Stones list tells you once boomers are gone this shit will be irrelevant. Terrible
6 likes
Merle Haggard
3/5
Some of you people piss me off. “It’s country automatic one star.” Dumb. Imagine having no curiosity. You’re one of the privileged few beings who has been capable of rational thought and exploring the depths of the universe. You can learn and experience so much but your vision is clouded because you’re classist or just a stupid incurious dumbass. Fuck you.
Anyway, this albums not that great. It sort of just hangs around in the background, there’s not a lot of great imagery, mostly just classic outlaw and heartbreak songs. You could do worse but you could do way way better.
5 likes
1-Star Albums (41)
All Ratings
Steely Dan
4/5
Opens with a classic Do it Again, good vibes all around, really dense instrumentation, percussion especially. Killer solo before that iconic keyboard riff in the bridge.
Dirty Work, Jazzy instrumental, vocals are 70s as hell, and then I realize I know it! Harmonies are unbelievably good
Kings, oof, this is some serious 70s cheese, there’s still some real wonders going on with the instruments, but this is a stinker.
Midnite Cruiser
Vibe with this one a lot more, good chorus
Only A Fool Would Say That
Solid
Reelin’ In the Years
Honestly perfect, just crisp and fun and catchy, if this was their only song they’d be iconic
Fire in the Hole
Kind of a bop, doesn’t do much but manages to be fun
Brooklyn
Love it, kind of a classic feeling singer-songwriter joint
Change of the Guard
Forgettable, by no means bad but nothing really stood out
Turn that Heartbeat Over Again
Oof, a real wet fart of an ending, feels like any other song from the time. Bad closer.
The singles I know are the singles for a reason, and I do really like the overall vibe and experimentation in this record. A bit confused as to how it became SUCH a popular record and band in recent years. Good bit by no means earth shattering, 4/5
Arcade Fire
3/5
Excited for this one! One of those bands I’ve always wanted to give a listen but never have for whatever reason. I know they’re seminal in the indie genre and really want to see what I’m missing.
Oh. This sure sounds like…a foundational indie album from 2007…but without any real oomph. And some really bad cliches. I’m struck by how much the mirror mirror lyric feels. Bad. It reminds me of Muse. Which is bad. Are these guys Quebecois? Yes, okay the lyrics MIGHT be more forgivable. But just, flavor, and there never seems to be much of a payoff in these songs.
The biggest issue is comparing this to what came before and what came after from other acts in the genre this is just so soulless, nothing is BAD, but nothing stands out either.
So many songs on this album end triumphantly, but come up feeling flaccid. I’m probably gonna lay most of the blame on the singer whose voice lacks the power to match the strings surrounding him. And generally the lyrics are just, bland nothing, I love the mainstream reviews that say this is a statement on the Bush era, and it sure is, it says and accomplishes nothing like so many passionless and meaningless protests that ruled the era. Its a 2.5 really
Blur
3/5
Excited! Only know Song 2 before listening and have heard only good things about this one.
Track 3 is the most Beck influenced song I’ve ever heard, it’s not a bad impersonation honestly. So far all the songs are super tight, no complaints honestly, I can imagine though how fans of their early stuff might have been turned off by this shift.
Really liking this! Not at all groundbreaking, but just a solid record for the time, the few stand out tracks are fun.
I think that’s the thing holding it back from being a classic, there are some great moments on here but other than the bombastic Song 2, I don’t think any song has the staying power. None of them are bad! They just don’t stand out. I think this is a very strong 4/5, damn close to 5, but just missing an extra something, the end kinda limps along and definitely sours the whole.
Pixies
5/5
Already knew and love this album, it’s 5 stars easy, if anything the only downside is Doolittle the following album surpasses this one
Portishead
2/5
Know nothing about this other than I think I’ve heard the band name before. I want to like this, and it’s not BAD just…boring. I could see this being okay driving around at night, or playing in the background of a Borders books circa 2002, but I don’t think I’d ever actively search this one out. 2/5
ZZ Top
4/5
I only know ZZ Top from their many singles and have always considered them a good greatest hits band, so exploring their actual albums will definitely be interesting.
Is it an artistic statement? No. Is it fun and catchy as hell, yes. All the people on here who are on here clutching the pearls that this isn’t some brainy art rock piece are honestly so lame, this is so fun and cool. And I like a lot of that brainy art rock. Sometimes you want a really good steak, sometimes you want a shitty $5 pizza. This is that pizza, and it hits the spot perfectly, I love it. 4/5
Stevie Wonder
2/5
Definitely know Stevie Wonder’s singles but not much beyond that. The first song is so bad, has 1972 cheese stink all over it, thankfully the funk comes in after and is much more fun.
These lyrics…are very hokey. Like You and I is so saccharine, it really feels like it could have been a Sonny and Cher joint.
Really it’s an album with two sides, on one is the embarrassingly sweet lyrics paired with undeniably incredible synth and instrumental work. There’s a reason Superstition is the song everyone knows off of this, because it isn’t a love song.
There are a couple other highlights, I actually really like Blame it on the Sun, which is also not a love song. I think that’s the key. I know I like later Stevie more so I’m looking forward to these. He’s only 22 on this album! 2/5
Bruce Springsteen
4/5
This will be my first encounter with the Boss during this project. I love his classic albums but haven’t ever really listened to anything beyond Born in the USA, along with one or two songs he released after. Curious if this will be the understated Boss on Nebraska and Streets of Philadelphia, feels like that should be appropriate for an aging rocker.
I think my experience of this album can best be summed up by my experience with the song World’s Apart. It starts with an electronic drum and an Indian/Middle Eastern vibe that had me thinking oh God is Bruce about to do some trance music is he trend chasing is this going to have a weird message that’s aged poorly. And then the song kicks off and it’s incredible, I loved it, the production is excellent, the instrumentation is great, and the whole time I’m mad because of how much I like this album.
So unbelievably I’m giving this 5/5. Do I think it deserves to be on this list? Maybe not, but I do really like this.
Rocket From The Crypt
1/5
I'm pretty sure I've listened to a song or two from them before and liked them and got upset because this is such a lame band name and album cover. I realize that is a massively dumb reason to not be into a band but here it is.
Can an album be described as so bad it’s good. Because this album is HILARIOUS. Why’s the singer sound like that? It’s too bad to be considered good, but way too annoying to be considered interesting. The lyrics are just abysmal, when “you want some cheese with all that whine” is a hook treated with genuine sincerity you know you’re in for a trash fire. And then the instruments are so loud and dumb, and some of the riffs are so annoying. There are occasional glimpses of SOMETHING interesting, but god it’s so dumb. I love this album it’s so funny. 1/5
Incredible Bongo Band
2/5
What am I supposed to do with this lol, needless to say I’ve never listened to this and have zero expectations other than bongos. You ever listen to the People’s Court theme in full? That has a killer bongo part to it. I uh. I got nothing but to listen to this.
It’s 1970s funk with bongos. I don’t know what else to say. It is cool hearing sample origins! I dunno. The best parts were guitars and synthesizers. Didn’t really get the full excitement from the bongos. It’s not really bad. 2.5/5
Bill Evans Trio
3/5
First date with jazz here, it’s a genre I have no idea how to review, I just think stuff either sounds good or bad. But this is definitely on the good side. Love the bassist, love the atmosphere, love that you can hear people and clinking glasses.
God not to sound like I’m sniffing my own farts but there is something so romantic about hearing the people milling around, they really are this extra piece of improvisation. You can almost imagine the music is soundtracking their lives and it’s hard not to imagine what the audience members are doing with this soundtracking it.
I think my only complaint, and it’s entirely personal preference, is I think I like quartets and quintets more, I like my jazz with brass or woodwinds. BUT that’s very much not the vibe here.
But it's also boring...
Hawkwind
3/5
I have a train ride today and this album is 2 hours long so. You know. Should be an experience. Not a GOOD experience. But an experience. I suspect this will be exhausting, not necessarily BAD but not ya know, enjoyable.
Lemmy is on this album which is cool. The bass is actually pretty good so I like knowing that. But boy oh boy is this. Fine. I feel like if I was stoned out of my mind and I saw this live in 1973 I’d say this was incredible but uh. It’s a rock album. Nothing profound is gonna be said on this one.
Hey whatever happened to the Shakespearean poetry readings about stuff happening in space, the dude is comparing a really hot planet to people in cryosleep. We don’t do stuff like that anymore. Has space lost some of its luster in the years? Like this was 4 years after the moon landing so there’s still SOME romance with space. That said the poem wasn’t good. But I mean. It was a fun little thing regardless
The Streets
2/5
This is definitely better than a lot of the reviews, but more from the, I like the concept and the story more than musically this is interesting and complex. I only knew the song Fit and You Know It from this. That’s the best track by leaps and bounds because it has a good chorus. This is basically spoken word, and it never evolves or really gets going. I wonder what this would be like with someone talented rapping it.
Metallica
3/5
I knew all the singles on this, and that’s pretty much all I needed. It lacks the edge to be considered really great, I tend to agree with most hardcore Metallica fans that their earlier stuff is better, this does feel like an attempt to please everyone, and it worked as more people probably know Enter Sandman than most songs you’ll come across on this list. It’s overall fine, nothing terrible and a few real standouts but nothing beyond that.
New Order
3/5
I love Live Vigilantes, I just wish the rest of the album was that good. I tend to like my new wave fun and energetic, more Duran Duran, I have a lot of trouble taking the dour desperate lyrics seriously when a goofy synthesizer making it sound like Miami Vice. This is definitely a flaw of growing up when the 80s were glorified and parodied to death. Nothing here is bad but nothing captures me beyond the first track. Theres a couple of bright spots, I like when a bunch of frogs start croaking, that’s fun. But honestly it’s a forgettable ride 3/5
Talking Heads
5/5
I only ever had a greatest hits for the Talking Heads, so I don't know what a full album experience will be like. Honestly I was intimated and wasn't sure when and where to start. But very excited for this.
This rules, plain and simple.
Nina Simone
5/5
God what a voice, how can you not love her. Honestly the only flaw of this album is it feels kinda slapped together, which it is, but who cares when the songs are this good.
Prince
4/5
The Doors
4/5
That first song must have hit like a bomb when it first came out huh, like I can’t imagine what it sounded like to people at the time. Also the organ? It’s what takes this album from good to awesome.
I know it’s popular to hate on Jimmy, but like, c’mon. I can’t believe there’s a Brecht cover in here.
This album does have one glaring flaw which plagues a lot of albums of the time called, fuck it let’s keep riffing for 7 minutes, it gets tired after a while, and so 4/5, but a really good 4/5
Michael Jackson
1/5
Has this aged really poorly? Because I was going into this thinking I liked Bad the single and I’m coming away from it thinking it just sounds cheesy and…blegh. Like my actual reaction is a strong negative.
OH NO IS THIS ALBUM REALLY BAD!
Earlier this week I pulled Purple Rain, an album that is older but holds up so much better. The instrumentation on this album feel like something that would play at the zoo while the singers are telling me about giraffes or something.
The hee hees and shamons are filling me with disdain. I legitimately think I hate this. SPEED DEEEMON. This is embarrassing.
I know that pop music isn’t supposed to necessarily be a lyrical showcase but damn, “you changed my world, just like in the movies” what movie Michael. How did this happen? Please explain.
The synth on Just Good Friends kinda sounds like a Sega Genesis which is cool as fuck. The song kinda sucks, but that was fun for a second.
This is the worst album I’ve listened to on this so far and I’m baffled by that, I legitimately think I like Thriller. But this is just awful.
Man in the Mirror is catchy but is also so corny and lame.
Smooth Criminal is so fucking good, why is it on this piece of shit album.
Michael, I will leave you alone. 1/5, king of pop my ass.
Depeche Mode
3/5
This started out so good and then kinda fell off and became such a standard moody 80s album. Good but not great.
My Bloody Valentine
2/5
Ho boy…don’t really know how to handle this. I’ve given it a shot before but didn’t like it but that was years ago.
This is truly an example of a work of art I can appreciate and fully understand why others love and appreciate, but my god is it not for me. I just can’t get past the vocals and the noise and the lack of anything that sticks. I listened to the whole album and I don’t know if I could point you to a song or moment that stood out and stuck with me.
I WANT to like this but I just don’t.
Skepta
2/5
Oh good. Grime. Ehhhh. I think this being a British list really is a drain. I can assure you I didn’t need to listen to this before I die.
Why’s he keep calling people pagans? To genius! It didn’t tell me. I’m sorry. Hey, this sucks! This is my second British hip hop album in 23 albums. That’s fucking awful.
Hey do you want a better hip hop album from 2016? Danny Brown’s Atrocity Exhibition! Now that’s an album I’m glad I heard before I died. And it’s almost certainly more influential than what ever the fuck this was. The end of corn on the curb is the most embarrassing thing I’ve heard so far!
Ay what was that Call of Duty lobby interaction.
It Ain’t Safe kinda slaps tbf. And he gave a shout out to the Based God Lil B? Ok this might actually save this.
The Who
3/5
This is a perfectly acceptable album. The only bad song is the fucking blues song. Theres nothing worse than 1960s UK bands thinking they can do blues. They all did it and all of them are embarrassing. Other than that this is very clearly a good band trying to figure out their sound.
Run-D.M.C.
4/5
This rules. Some of the songs in the later half kinda blended together, but overall what a classic
Method Man
4/5
Good album, the beats are awesome.
Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
4/5
Oh god, low expectations on this one. This is fine. It’s actually a lot closer to great.
Amy Winehouse
2/5
OH NO I HATE THIS. Does she have a good voice? Yes. Does she do anything interesting with it? No. The music is so boring. All the songs sound the same and have the same subject matter. The throwback sound isn’t good it’s so boring. When the album finished Spotify recommended Sharon Jones who is also a throwback and is also 100x better because her voice has more range and the instrumentals were fun and funky. I wonder if this is popular because of the *gasp* scandal. She’s singing like she’s from the 60s…but they didn’t talk about drugs and sex.
Sepultura
4/5
Oh my god what in gods name is this. This fucks so hard. I love this dumb edgy album cover. I love metal when it knows how stupid it is. Nothing is being innovated really, but god is it fun.
Christ, I can’t believe I’m going to praise a song called Dead Embryonic Cells, I figured it would be a typical edgy thing meant to shock, but to call like people who have grown disenchanted and disenfranchised by the system they live in that…is actually kinda smarter than I expect from this genre?
Desperate Cry has some amazing guitar work. I will say the drums sound a little off in the album as a whole. But honestly it’s not TOO bad, they might actually add some charm.
Dusty Springfield
4/5
Good! Didn’t realize son of a preacher man was from this. Nothing bad on here
Wu-Tang Clan
5/5
This album is so fucking good. I can’t pick a favorite member because all of them knock it out of the park.
ABBA
5/5
I don’t know if I have any opinion. I think my only exposure has been being in the same room as Mamma Mia is playing.
This first song is fucking so bad and creepy and weird and European. But it’s also catchy which is truly the evil power of ABBA. How can you hate this. It’s such good pop music. It’s infectious. Its insidious. It rules.
Dancing Queen is just a perfect song, my god.
Dum Dum Diddle might be the greatest song ever written it’s so cute and wholesome in this completely embarrassingly innocent way but instead of being cringeworthy it’s adorable. FUCK.
Knowing Me, Knowing You almost feels like a completely band. It’s so mature and good. Good Lord is this going to be a 5 star album?
Money is so good too. Really love the instrumentals. They manage to be totally of the time without really feeling dated, there’s something unique about them. I really dig it.
Is that a weird vocal effect paired with a weird folksy guitar with a fucking killer synth on That’s Me? This album is incredible, I love it. Holy shit. What the fuck.
Why Did it Have to Be walks in and farts all over the place by using a generic riff and having one of the dudes start singing. It gets better but this is the first hiccup since the baffling first song. The prechorus and chorus are so good, the verses are a disaster.
Thank god we’re back to stupid bullshit I love. Anyone who says these lyrics suck are 100% correct. These people also don’t know how to have fun. This is again one of the greatest songs I’ve ever heard.
Motörhead
2/5
This sure is an okay album. Nothing really stands out other than Ace of Spades. BUT this is the first time I get to use my, “this classic rock artist just admitted to being a pedophile” card! That’s an automatic star deduction. This will not be the last time I use it! Jesus Christ!
Bob Dylan
3/5
First dance with Bob on this quest, this is a doozy with what I think is his best song, A Hard Rain‘s Gonna Fall. Buuuuut the blues songs don’t really do much for me, it’s not his best work. I honestly think he’s one of those artists best served by a greatest hits.
Michael Jackson
2/5
Well. I listened to Bad and gave it one fucking star so let’s see if this is actually good or if I’ve lived a lie being told that this is a good artist.
Immediately off to a better start, this first song is really fun, love the nonsense ending, about vegetables? What? And then the chanting? It’s great.
Baby Be Mine is…fine but horrifically boring. Hey is getting both MJ albums before album #40 gonna fuck up my year end Spotify numbers? I can’t have this show up on my wrapped.
What the fuck is happening with Paul McCartney here oh my god. This is terrible. This is so fucking corny and bad. The doggone girl is mine like it’s the little rascals.
Hey is Thriller dumb? Yeah. It’s really fucking good though. In my head I was thinking it was just the video, but no the production is actually really good.
Hey the guitar solo on Beat It rules. Beat It just rules in general. Same with Billie Jean. The good cluster.
Oh Christ then Human Nature comes up and I wanna barf.
PYT is also gross.
The last three songs are all the shittiest ballad ever I fucking hate this.
I’m sorry, I think MJ might be the most overrated artist of all time. He’s got a few bangers, but beyond that, this no innovation, no interest, majority forgettable album is by the King of Pop? No. I don’t think it is. I’m fucking devastated there’s a third album on the list I get to look forward to. I truly don’t get the hype. Better than Bad though
Van Halen
4/5
One of my dad’s favorite bands is Van Halen so I’m going in with a lot of predisposed enjoyment just from hearing a lot of this as a kid.
Jump fucking rules.
Panama was on one of the Gran Turismo soundtracks and will forever be one of the greatest driving songs.
Top Jimmy is when you realize Eddie Van Halen is well deserving of all the praise, those harmonics and everything at the start.
A warranted complaint is that, yeah these lyrics can be pretty misogynistic. But I don’t know if they’re THAT bad. Plus so far every object of desire has been of age, so that’s a plus compared to a shocking amount of their contemporaries.
The album ends a little weakly, so it isn’t a 5, but a really solid 4, surprised how much I loved this
Hole
4/5
Oh noooooooooo. I’ve never listened to this, but myself, a teenager who loved Nirvana well after Kurt’s death means most of my knowledge of Courtney Love is…negative, mostly colored by what other fans said and also some of her own shenanigans.
To say this surpassed my expectations is an understatement. This ruled.
PJ Harvey
2/5
I don’t get it. Nothing is bad? But there are some baffling decisions that are just bad. The song This Glorious Land has this really dissonant bugle call that just doesn’t fit musically and is honestly hilariously distracting.
I think a lot of the music is…critical of England? I can’t tell if it’s critical or weirdly positive, like is it ironic? The trouble is I can’t tell.
Is this a WWI album? It doesn’t really feel like it. It’s too pretty, needs more grime and grit
I love the part where they sing BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD LET IT BURN. But it sounds like it could be a song circle and has no energy or heart or fear.
This is one of those albums that I totally get why people love, but my god is it not for me
Bob Dylan
3/5
Bobby, Bob-O, Robert. I had one of your albums literally 5 days ago. Let’s do it again shall we.
I said in my last album review of his that he really feels like a greatest hits artist. Because no one on Earth would say that Outlaw Blues or Bob Dylan’s 115th dream is his best and adds to the album. The hits are some of the best I’ve heard, It’s Alright Ma is great. The highs are very high, the lows are very low. 3 again.
Cocteau Twins
4/5
Why’s this album art so bad? There’s something about it that screams 2004 emo act along with all the songs being names. I know literally nothing about the Cocteau Twins.
Oh wow this is beautiful. I don’t know if I’ve heard anything quite like this. It’s relaxing but somehow also energetic it just makes me feel good.
The bass on Beatrix feels like another singer paired with the actual singer it’s beautiful and haunting, this is so good
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
3/5
I think I’ve listened to his biggest album, but I’m mostly unfamiliar. Track 1 rules, it’s kinda unsettling and driving and really good. Second song is more of the same, which isn’t necessarily a good thing. 3rd is a little slower which is needed.
This album is fine.
Beastie Boys
4/5
This album is great! And then I checked the run time and there was still 20 minutes left and I was stranded on an instrumental. Too long. Tooooooo loooooong.
The Stooges
2/5
Boy this sure is a heavy hard hitting album! It sure is a precursor to punk and metal! It sure…doesn’t sound very good? You guys know music that’s heavy can be enjoyable right? None of these songs have a hook, most of them drag along, the same bass riff repeated over and over that it gets stuck in your head, never leaving, never improving, never changing, as you wonder about all the much better albums this inspired, and wish you could listen to them, instead of this basic, ugly, and boring album.
Motörhead
1/5
Uggghhhhhhhhhhhh who gives a fuck about a live Motörhead album, not me especially when I already listened to and was underwhelmed by Ace of Spades a few weeks ago. The only good thing is Overkill is on here which has a fun gimmick. This album sucks, and is the first I can without a doubt say shouldn’t be on this list. Fuck off. And of course fucking Jailbait is on here again, disgusting.
Michael Kiwanuka
5/5
Never seen or heard of this album before!
Holy shit, what an album. It defies categorization, all I can say is it’s excellent. Funky, jazzy, rocking, soulful, danceable. What a fantastic album. Mad I never knew this existed until now, I would have loved this when it came out.
Radiohead
2/5
I really like The Bends. This album isn’t as good as the bends. It’s actually shockingly boring, with a few very good moments sprinkled here and there Myxomatosis is a good song.
David Gray
1/5
The hell is this. There are like 500,000 albums like this on Spotify that are by artists who have <1000 monthly listeners. And some of those are better, they’re more interesting at least. This shouldn’t be on this list it’s really fucking lame.
Dwight Yoakam
3/5
I really think country, when it’s good, might be my favorite genre. Townes Van Zandt is my favorite artist (who doesn’t have an album on this list basically making the whole thing invalid) so I’m going into this with an open mind. Never listened to Dwight before.
Shockingly not terrible. He does shoot a woman in a song which was shocking. I think if you’re going to include an album that represents the birth of pop country in the 80s and 90s this is a good choice. It’s just not like. Great.
Metallica
1/5
How can something that is theoretically exciting and hard be so fucking boring in actuality. I hate the drums, I hate James’s voice, I think I hate Metallica
Elvis Presley
3/5
OH FUCK. I’ve never listened to Elvis because he’s my mother’s most hated artist. Time to give him a fair shake I suppose
That sure was an album that I don’t remember anything about. It was fine
Stephen Stills
2/5
I know literally nothing about this, other than knowing about CSNY. What a slog. I don't think this is bad but it's way too long and way to samey and boring.
Lambchop
1/5
I remember actually buying this album on the strength of one song, and then never really listened to it again, so I'm happy to give it another chance as I've grown older.
Oh I know why I didn’t listen to it, it sucks. It sounds incredibly old fashioned in a bad way, it’s full of 70s cheese that’s long since gone bad. The songs are slow boring burns. Even the occasional witty lyrics get drowned in uninteresting schmaltz. This album sucks
The Police
4/5
I don’t think I ever realized how weird the Police are. Not in the way like, The Residents are weird, but like, there’s a song about dinosaurs on here. There’s actually a weird amount of prehistoric references on this album. Why? And then the song another is just so out of left field. I kinda love it? Honestly the weakest songs are the two most commercially successful ones, I think Wrapped Around your Finger is the worst song in this album by a pretty wide margin, and Every Breath you Take is just kinda meh. But both Synchronicities? Miss Gradenko? Certified bangers, I loved them. The album is let down by its second half, it was so close to a five.
Dexys Midnight Runners
5/5
I LOVE THIS ALBUM. I totally get why it’s not for some people, especially Kevin Rowland’s voice, but to me it sounds so good, he’s got so much passion you can’t help but like the guy. And it’s so much MORE than Come on Eileen. Celtic Soul Brothers, the cover of Jackie Wilson Said, the long but never overstaying its welcome Until I believe in My Soul all out the biggest smile on my face. It’s not high art, and it’s not trying to be, but manages to sound better than so many things on this list. It absolutely deserves its spot here. Do their other albums? Well we’ll see (spoiler they’re also very good)
3/5
It’s short. It also doesn’t really do much to stand out from countless other punk albums. It’s good though
The Smiths
4/5
Genuinely never listened to the Smiths before, I think in general I was scared away by Morrissey and in general I’m not the biggest fan of the moody British rock they play.
That said the first track is very nice. Shit I love the lyric my faith in love is still devout, a really good closing lyric.
I actually really liked this. The rare album where title track is the worst song, really too preachy even if I mostly agree with it. This song is probably part of why vegans have such a bad reputation
R.E.M.
3/5
This album is really good, it just is missing something. You can definitely hear how much it influenced what came after.
Michael Stipe has such an interesting voice, truly unique and I feel like it isn’t talked about much. It almost feels like he’d be a poor singer but isn’t. Sadly too many songs on here are forgettable and samey. The hits stand out, so does McCarthy but the rest really melded together
Stereolab
3/5
Eugh, I want to like this but it feels like it never ends, and doesn’t really get into a fifth gear or feel more than what it is. Theres a few motifs that I really love but maaaan, it never sustains that level of goodness.
Megadeth
5/5
Megadeth is so fucking cool. The best thing that happened to Dave Mustaine was getting kicked out of that band of losers Metallica. This album cover is so stupid too. Look at George Bush and Gorbachev. God this rules.
This album references the Punisher, aliens, fucking wizards, nuclear bombs, and is the dorkiest thing ever. I loved every second of it.
OutKast
4/5
I think I’ve only listened to some of Stankonia, and obviously Hey Ya which I remember being EVERYWHERE in 2003.
This album is 2 hours long which is HOOO BOY.
My first reaction to GhettoMusick is my god this is fun. I’m really nostalgic for that early 2000s southern hip hop sound.
Really love the vibe on this so far, smooth and catchy and just feels good. Big Boi is really good too.
6 tracks in and every real song has been incredible, all for different reasons, all of which have something unique that sets them apart while still seeming like a part of the same album. My god this is amazing
Killer Mike shows up and is just as good back then as he is today with RTJ.
CHURCH, WHAT THE HELL THATS AMAZING
Frank Sinatra
3/5
The only time I ever actively listened to Frank Sinatra was at the dentist. I listened to this on an airplane. I liked it. But I can’t remember a thing about it.
Hole
3/5
I was shocked to find Live Through This a very good album after years of grunge heads telling me Courtney Love was the worst thing that happened to music. So what will this bring?
What a great opening.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
3/5
This was pretty good, my tolerance for Neil is pretty low despite multiple attempts to try and get him. I dunno, the second half is much better, almost a punk album.
Air
4/5
Really liked this! It was so peaceful and relaxing, I listened to it while making my way to the train and it was very atmospheric for that experience. I’d definitely put this on when reading or napping, which is a complement.
Living Colour
3/5
I only know this for Cult of Personality, which is an absolute banger. The rest of the album, uhhhhh hit or miss. Some things are great others kinda feel blegh.
The Vines
3/5
Blegh. It’s very much an album from 2001. And not a very good or original effort. Some of the songs sound fine, garage-y stuff that reminds me of Jet or Fran’s Ferdinand. It’s stuff that would show up on an EA sports game in 2003, you’d go yeah that’s okay, and never think about it again.
Duke Ellington
3/5
Too long
Wilco
5/5
This album is good but it’s not Summerteeth or YHF so. That’s a bummer. But it is still good. Long, but good. It’s honestly like a 4.75
Joni Mitchell
5/5
God what a beautiful album. If someone sang some of these songs to me I’d fall in love on the spot.
George Harrison
3/5
The songs that are good are good but my sweet lord is this too long
Sonic Youth
4/5
Really enjoyed this. I think it’s biggest issue is completely unfair in my part, I hear the influence this has on so many later artists, and I think those artists expand on the ideas here better, meaning this suffers because of it. Still really good.
Fatboy Slim
2/5
Eh? It doesn’t really stand out in anyway from other electronic music of the time
Les Rythmes Digitales
2/5
Something tells me the writer who included this album heard it on holiday in Ibiza and was totally zooted on ecstasy with the Scooby Doo logo stamped on it. And then years later they heard Missy Elliot’s Lose Control and their fried synapses said I remember this album, it was like when I was on holiday. And then they included this album because they thought it was good. Even though it kinda sucks.
Aretha Franklin
4/5
Paul Simon
1/5
Oh JEEZ, this is…a lot. So first off, is this appropriation? On one hand he’s collaborating with a lot of African artists…but on the other…he’s Paul Simon. Plus the allegations he stole ideas from people…what else did he steal in his “I’m violating a boycott of apartheid but I promise it’s fine because look black and white artists are working together!” Well how many of those African artists benefited, and who won the Grammy and critical acclaim and a classic album. I dunno this really feels like Paul jumping on a trend that sold like hotcakes to a new liberal class too scared to take real action to stop apartheid but boy howdy we do love this African sound. Yuck. Theres this genre today in South Africa called Shangaan electro, it’s great, and if Noah Kahan made an album inspired by it everyone would rightfully PLASTER him.
What the fuck is Under African Skies. First, weird writing in general, stars in the southern hemisphere is clunky and like, yeah it’s Africa I know it’s in the southern hemisphere. But also like…Paul people in Africa aren’t all these tribal people guided by stars, people work office jobs and have cars, it’s the same “noble savage” shit that was going on with native cultures at the time. It’s insulting and infantile. God damn it Paul.
I liked the Ladysmith Black Mambazo song until Paul showed up.
Also the album sounds like ass. Except the bassist, the bass rules.
I dunno if it’s my place to condemn this album, but I know how it made me feel, and it made me feel kinda gross. Which is worse than most albums I’ve disliked on this list. Ugh.
Simon & Garfunkel
4/5
The Stone Roses
2/5
Fuuuuuck. Confession time, I like the second album way more. The one everyone hates. The one that killed the band. It’s more interesting, there’s even songs on there that are really good. This…this sounds so dime a dozen and boring oh god.
I fucking hate how this album is mixed. The vocals are so far and quiet.
BUT the album still has some good tracks…
The Hives
3/5
This is so 2001, which isn’t bad. It’s not good either. Hey why is there a compilation on here? That’s…dumb. This doesn’t really stand out from most of the garage music that came out at the time. The Dirtbombs are pretty good. Listen to them instead.
God the second half is good. Feels like the underground skate punk that was happening around the time, which is good stuff. Kind of a bummer because that half is better and it’s from their EP…hmmmmmmm now I get why this comp is on here
Ravi Shankar
3/5
This might legitimately be the most impossible album to review. I know literally nothing about Indian music. So like how should I know if this is good. It is important. I dunno 2.5
Marvin Gaye
2/5
Jesus. This is probably the hardest to listen to album on here. It’s honest but in a way that feels mean and is painful in a way that just cuts too deep. I dunno I like it when Marvin is talking about fucking. Not when he’s really sad telling me he hates his ex wife
The Rolling Stones
4/5
The whole reason I started this experiment was because I realized I’d never listened to a Rolling Stones album which sent me down a rabbit hole to here. So this is my first one! Hopefully I like it!!
This fucking rips so hard I love it.
Shake Your Hips, or as I like to call it, Not La Grange, does suffer from “British band attempting blues” but this one is way less embarrassing than others I’ve heard so far
The Pharcyde
2/5
Interesting! Only heard good things about this but never listened.
Great the first song has a trans panic verse, Jesus Christ. Say what you want about hip hop, the hardest part with this era is getting over the homophobia, which is never easy, it fucking sucks and I’m glad we’ve mostly gotten past this
It’s fine, the songs are pretty catchy but then a real cringey edgy lyric happens and it’s embarrassing which is the worst emotion an album can elicit. 2
The Pogues
5/5
Love the Pogues, there’s some really great songs on here, only held back by the fact that Rum Sodomy is better. Just a perfect blend of the Celtic instruments with the chaotic vigor of punk. I love it so much
Thin Lizzy
3/5
Some of the songs on this are really great, fast, hard, really great listens. And then there’s songs like Johnny the Fox Meets Jimmy the Weed that are so lame and boring. Still better than I thought, I was let down when I listened to some of their studio albums.
Jean-Michel Jarre
5/5
The keyboard that comes in about a minute and a half into part 2 is so good. What’s crazy about such a pioneering album is hearing all the influences that come from it. I hear other electronic artists, I hear pop songs, I hear video game music. But even stand alone it’s really beautiful, in sort of an idealized future that never came way. Really enjoyed this
Radiohead
5/5
Oh look the best Radiohead album by FAR! Is it the most creative? No. Is it the most artsy or bold? No. Is it just an album with solid bangers throughout? Fuck yes.
Arcade Fire
3/5
Well. It was better than Neon Bible. Not by much though
Yes
2/5
IS THAT A MOTHER FUCKING JOJO REFERENCE?!
Hey, this albums not very good. Every song is either bizarrely too short or frustratingly too long. 3 separate times I was like okay that songs over only for it to keep going.
Steely Dan
3/5
Hmm. Mixed feelings on this one. It’s not as good as Can’t Buy a Thrill, too many cornball songs. But Deacon Blues and Peg are unbelievably good songs. Like Deacon Blues might be one of the greatest songs ever written holy shit. But the cornball songs…….
Fela Kuti
4/5
This rules
Kendrick Lamar
2/5
Well. TPAB is better. I dunno this is one of those concept albums where I don’t really care about the concept that much. I think the biggest flaw is there’s really no FUN songs on here. There’s nothing I’d put on to feel good or to dance. The song that comes closest is, ironically, the song that’s intentionally bad and juvenile. So many songs feel too long, the whole album drags out, why the fuck is there a 10 minute long song on this, it’s exhausting considering the beat never changes and nothing interesting happens with the flow for 6 minutes. It’s just an exhausting album all around in terms of subject matter and musicality. Beyond that I really don’t love the holier than thou posturing of Kendrick?
Supergrass
2/5
I remember the first time I told someone I liked a Supergrass song they made fun of me, so I had this idea that they kinda sucked. They are pretty hit or miss for me honestly. There is a sneering Britpop attitude that just kinda sucks. Like damn imagine being this in Oasis’s shadow. Late in the day is, ugh
George Michael
3/5
I’m so out of my wheelhouse with this one. Freedom is fine but it feels like it never ends. So like, the regular pop ballads kinda blend together and don’t feel great. I dunno I’m just gonna rate this 3 stars. It didn’t really stick with me but it didn’t really repel me.
Nick Drake
3/5
This is a pretty okay folk album that I will never remember listening to ever again. Nothing really stands out. It’s good for like. Taking a nap in the sun? And that’s it
David Bowie
4/5
I think this album’s very good. I think the only thing holding it back is it’s missing the really bombastic song I look for with Bowie. In its place is the really wonderful piano in the title track, it’s like free jazz it’s so bad it’s good. It’s just missing something as a whole that other Bowie albums have
Laura Nyro
4/5
I only knew Laura from a reference in an indie punk album, so I kinda assumed she was an underground modern singer songwriter, not knowing this was from the 60s. It’s really good! Catchy, interesting voice, some of the songs are really fun. I think it’s a little too smothered in 1960s styling that’s distracting.
Ian Dury
4/5
This album is really stupid, but also very catchy and fun. I dunno I think it’s getting a lot of unwarranted hate, if this was Captain Beefheart or Frank Zappa a bunch of you would love this
A Tribe Called Quest
4/5
I prefer Midnight Marauders honestly, this album is still a great classic
5/5
Like, cmon an argument can be made that this is a flawless album.
System Of A Down
4/5
Toxicity is the better album overall imo, but honestly SOAD is one of a kind in the best way
Ramblin' Jack Elliott
3/5
A perfectly serviceable classic folk album. It does mean that there are some glaring folk holes in this list. No Dave Van Ronk, no John Renbourne, no Pete Seeger or Woody Guthrie. “Waaah those would be compilations” mother fucker there’s a Hives greatest hits album on this list there’s no consistency. Put the fucking hours long folkways Pete Seeger recordings on here, it’s arguably one of the most important collections ever. Fuck you. 3 stars
The White Stripes
4/5
This album is really good until it isn’t. Something about the second half is just draining which is a bummer because that first half is excellent stuff.
Pentangle
4/5
Ren Faire core. It’s pretty good! I can’t think of anything else like this other than like, Celtic music and stuff.
Ryan Adams
1/5
lol this album cover is so bad. Hmmmm. This feels like a guy who really liked Van Morrison, but decided to just be annoying in a different way. There's a smugness that permeates the album, like this dude's been told he's the voice of a generation when in reality he only speaks for the most milquetoast segment of people who are juuust interesting enough to step outside their comfort zone but without losing sight of comfort. This sucks basically.
Writing a song about wanting a Sylvia Plath sure is a choice, and not one I'd make but fuck it I guess that sounds profound and was probably done by this weirdo to get girls.
Truly, TRULY thankful the trend of making albums 70+ minutes for no reason other than filling a CD is dead because Christ alive this is unbearably long on top of everything else.
Sam Cooke
5/5
Hell yeah. The medley into Twistin the Night Away was the peak, it made me wish I was there dancing along. I loved this so much
LTJ Bukem
3/5
Fair warning the Spotify album just straight up is a completely different compilation. Search it out on YouTube. That said uhhhhhh. You ever play the puzzle game Lumines? It felt like music that would be in Lunines. That’s not a bad thing. I think electronic music has such an uphill battle when it comes to reviews and lists like this. You can’t review the lyrics, you are probably not listening to it at a club or a rave, you’re just kinda stuck. Listening to it. Asking is this what I wanna spend 2 hours with? I actually kinda like this drum and bass style though to be honest haha, I think you can blame a lot of games I grew up with on that. 3/5 honestly
Ice T
4/5
I like Ice-T, but I know him entirely from Law and Order SVU which, with that in mind, makes this whole album hilarious. Like he’s singing about killing people but to me he’s just the nice man from TV, I don’t doubt he’s a legitimate badass OG, but like I can’t not like him.
Jazmine Sullivan
2/5
Eugh, so first not my genre, second I am a dude, so a lot of this doesn’t necessarily connect in the same way as if I were a woman. That said I can appreciate the idea behind this album. Do I like the execution…not really? There are a few instrumentals I really liked! But then, a lot of the songs were a little too, blah, they didn’t sound different from other R&B I’ve heard and the parts that were different were generally about people I don’t really want to root for or hope they get what they want. If Lost One is inspired by Rashida’s Tale, well I don’t like Rashida based on her tale! Same with Precious! It falls into a trap that concept albums sometimes do which is, why do I care about this person’s story if the person kind of sucks. I dunno. Theres enough good and okay on here to prevent it from being a 1, but I think of so many albums from the past 10 years that are better AND more influential that deserve to be on this list
Television
4/5
An album I’ve only heard massive positives about that I’ve never actually listened to. It’s good! Artsy, some songs are great, but some really drag on which is a big bummer. Still like it a lot.
Dr. John
1/5
This album cover suggests this will either be so fucking amazing or an unmitigated trash fire.
Bad news! It’s way closer to the latter. Hoo boy. If you want some Louisiana fun just listen to some zydeco or something. This is just a masturbatory exercise to see how weird we can make voodoo seem to the hippies that would have been high as a kite listening to this. Shut the fuck up. It falling 200 fucking places in 20 years on Rolling Stones list tells you once boomers are gone this shit will be irrelevant. Terrible
Koffi Olomide
3/5
What is this. At first I thought this was going to be like a German dance pop album no one talks about. Instead it’s an album by a Congolese sex pest. The good, it’s kinda fun, kinda gross reading the comments from people who are like “teehee this is just for white people” like it seems like this is a pretty formative artist and album in the DRC. But whatever. I dunno man, it’s fine, I think I enjoyed reading about the history of Congolese music on Wikipedia more than I did listening to this album.
The Cars
5/5
Arguably a flawless album, talk about a debut.
Peter Gabriel
3/5
This album cover is great. Peter Gabriel is one of those dudes I know nothing about despite knowing how important and influential he is. I only knew Games Without Frontiers and I Don’t Remember. This sure is Peter Gabriel. I don’t know what it is, I know this is good and he’s talented but it just never resonates with me. Maybe it’s too low tempo? I dunno.
Led Zeppelin
2/5
There’s a perception among my peers that Led Zeppelin fucking sucks. Theres a few reasons. For one they are thieves. For two, they don’t evolve, all their music sounds the same, it’s all white man’s blues with occasional hard rock. I tend to like their hard rock songs. I tend to like their hits. So when I got Physical Graffiti I was optimistic. I am no longer optimistic.
Imagine it’s 1975, you sit down to listen to the new album from one of your favorite bands. You drop the needle on Custard Pie. My god. It’s the same shit again. It’s another fucking Led Zeppelin song. It sounds like all the others. It’s incredibly mid. Oh no.
The Rover starts. More of the same. Except it just keeps going oh no.
Then, fucking In My Time of Dying, it’s 11 fucking minutes of uninspired blues riffs, Robert Plant is doing what I can only call a pastiche of spiritual music and blues. It’s like the suffering of gospel music, if that suffering was dying cats. I swear he’s usually better than this. Or is he.
Greta Van Fleet is a band whose whole existence is preying on boomer nostalgia for Led Zeppelin. The edgy kids who said today’s music sucks also love them. They are bad. I feel like their music and some tracks on here are, essentially, the same. This is a death knell.
Trampled Under Foot. Thank God. What a good song. It’s awesome. Funk is such a refreshing change of pace. There’s energy here. It’s such a forward looking song. I bet the Chili Peppers love this song. The whole album could have been this direction and it would be so much better for it.
Even the cynic in me can’t deny, Kashmir is a fucking triumph, it’s sort of baffling that they…don’t do more like this? Clearly they’re talented enough to explore prog and funk, they’re the best songs on here. Did they stick with the old formula because they didn’t want to alienate fans? They should have.
This albums too long, the few stand outs don’t save it. Blegh.
Goldfrapp
3/5
Never seen or heard of this. It’s definitely more interesting than a lot of stuff. Kind of like a 60s throwback. It’s okay but I don’t think I’ll ever listen to it again. I rarely have time or patience for this kind of slow vibe unless the music is really inventive and interesting. This didn’t have that unfortunately.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
5/5
God I love Creedence. This album is incredible, EVERY song is good, but it’s anchored with such massive hits. They’re easily one of the best bands of the era just based on the sheer number of hits they pumped out on basically 3 years. Unbelievable band.
The The
3/5
A lot of the songs on here are interesting but boring, nothing really hooked me, it’s a lot of style no substance. It’s definitely got more care than a lot of new wave fluff but it just isn’t…fun?
The Mamas & The Papas
4/5
I literally was reading about the Cass ham sandwich myth the day before so this feels like providence. Pretty fucked up that one of the few famous large women of the time gets that kind of treatment post mortem. I digress. This is a pretty good pop album! I don’t know why people were like WOW HOW TRANSGRESSIVE AND PROGRESSIVE! It’s uh. It’s a pop album. A great one! It sort of suffers from being so influential and good that it almost sounds generic. Suffering from success. Anyway. Hey don’t read what Papa John is accused of. It’s fucked up. Arguably the worst human being included on this list? Anyway. 4 stars, I’d listen to some of these songs again
Pixies
3/5
Ahhhhhh shoot. I love Surfer Rosa and Doolittle, they’re some of my favorite albums ever. I’ve never listened to this one before and ugh it’s just missing something, or rather it’s been tainted by too much. It’s over produced, it just doesn’t sound as raw, but worse it doesn’t sound as fun. The drum machine makes everything feel hollow. Imagining a song like Bone Machine with it really shows just how important it is. Some of the songs on here really are good, which shows they still have that it factor.
The Cardigans
4/5
Beautiful, lovely, sexy, incredibly European. Really liked this, I knew about Love Fool and their amazing cover of Iron Man. I think the only thing lacking here is a change up, I wish there was a little more variety on here. But over all it’s very solid
John Martyn
2/5
This is like if I went to a restaurant. And someone was like, man you gotta try their chicken. And I show up, and it’s this beautifully plate, all kinds of sauces and garnishes, really beautiful, and there’s fucking dinosaur chicken nuggets, still slightly too cold, sat in the middle. What am I supposed to do with this? It might be fucking delicious. But I don’t care. I don’t want this. I don’t know what this is. I take a bite. It’s fine. It’s a guy playing guitar who can’t sing. This would have been a way better instrumental album. I think the American equivalent is that Joe Satriani album with the Silver Surfer on it. I just can’t be made to care about whatever THIS genre is.
Jerry Lee Lewis
4/5
What a fucking piece of shit. This is one of the most amazing live albums I’ve ever heard. The energy is insane. The playing is great. He sounds like a madman. Why’d he have to make every song make me feel sick because I think he’s singing about his child bride. Fuck him. 4 stars
The Clash
4/5
I liked this a lot more than I thought I would! I think I listened to the clash when I was younger and it never really hit me. This album though! Really good high energy. White Riot is a bit weird, like I get the idea but you’re allowed to riot with the black people, probably be more effective that way. Anyway that’s a nitpick. It DOES get a little tiring toward the end…
AC/DC
3/5
What is there to say. It’s fucking AC/DC. It’s not high art and it’s not pretending to be. I wish there was more, but that’s like wishing my air conditioning also served ice cream. What did you expect?
Eminem
1/5
Eugh, this has aged unbelievably poorly. I think of the place that violence and rage have in music. For example, a lot of gangster rap that came before this is LOADED with violent lyrics, including homophobic and misogynistic ones. Some times I can look past those, understanding the time and place etc. This album though…it’s never ending, it’s crass in the way that only 1999 could be. 97’ Bonnie and Clyde is fucked up. Not because it offends me. Because I think it’s a legitimately evil thing to do. It isn’t funny. It isn’t cute.
Fleet Foxes
5/5
Wow, this album is special to me, it’s one of the first albums I listened to that wasn’t something one of my parents owned, so it’s sort of formative in that way. White Winter Hymnal is a song I sing all the time. This will probably be an incredibly subjective rating. I will say Helplessness Blues is better but still.
Country Joe & The Fish
2/5
Sure. Whatever. This could be literally any band from the 60s. It’s like you hit every generic topic and plugged it into a machine and this is the result. This is frustrating because like…who cares?
Manu Chao
4/5
Went into this with no expectations. Actually based on the album cover I had LOW expectations. But man this was such a fun time. The whole thing flows so well, it’s fun, there’s variety of sounds, languages, energies. Is this 5 stars? It’s certainly close. He has a new album next month and I think I’ll actually seek it out, so that’s probably all the praise this album needs. Its actually made me wanna look further into this dude.
John Prine
5/5
One of the greatest song writers of all time. Funny, earnest, kind hearted, lovable, working class. His whole career is full of excellent material.
One thing I love about John is he sings as characters often, Angel From Montgomery starts “I am an old woman” it’s about being old, lost, confused, wishing for more, to restart. It’s absolutely heartbreaking, and absolutely beautiful.
Flag Decal and Sam Stone, probably the two biggest songs, are both anti-war songs, one with humor and one with tragedy. Both are poignant, both stand as some of the best critiques of Vietnam.
Donald and Lydia has two of the least likely protagonists of a love song, the punch line being the two of them masturbating far away, never actually meeting. But Prine finds the beauty in that! It’s a joke, but one you laugh with! One that shows the beauty of life and love. That’s why I love him and his art so much. He holds a magnifying glass to humanity, warts and all, and is rightfully critical of evil, but often leaves me feeling happy about people and the world in general.
OutKast
4/5
I wish there was a skit free option for hip hop albums. Anyway. This albums really good. It’s a little more coherent than Speakerboxx which was that albums biggest problem. It also blends the strengths of both artists. Ms. Jackson is the best example of this which is just a masterpiece.
Joni Mitchell
3/5
This album is FINE it’s FINE. I gave Blue 5 stars because it’s one of the most beautiful albums I’ve ever heard. This one…isn’t. It’s nice. It’s pleasant, but the lyrics don’t speak of pain and love in nearly the same way. It’s a lot more stories. And they’re fine. But nothing as electric. This might be one of the most 3 star albums for me
Penguin Cafe Orchestra
3/5
Easily the best album cover I’ve seen so far. The music is a mixed bag. I like a good chunk of it, the opening song rules, but then it’s got that zopf part that’s kinda lame and boring. Probably 3 stars tbh.
Radiohead
1/5
Blegh. Hey you know it’s a bad sign when a highly acclaimed album never gets reviews that are like…it’s fun! It’s highly listenable! It’s full of my favorite songs! But instead it’s like, oh it’s so innovative and experimental. I could fart in a microphone for and hour and that would innovate and be experimental. It would still fucking suck. This album is so boring. There are a few moments when something interesting seems to be happening and then either the instruments fail or Thom’s singing ruins everything. Why. The little drawing of the man crying on the cover is me.
Right after the Fugazi song I’m So Tired started playing, and that felt like providence. I’m so tired of Radiohead
Morrissey
2/5
Eugh. Definitely putting this one off. I’m gonna be honest this genre of sad shit just does nothing for me. The biggest hurdle to the smiths is already Morrissey’s whining, but it’s saved by stellar instrumentals. This though…nothing can save this. I already know it’s gonna be filled with lyrics about being sad, and kinda being a jerk but because life is hard! WAH. Fuck. I don’t know, 2 stars it’s boring, it’s probably replacing a way better album from Japan or somewhere. Shut up
Neil Young
3/5
Me and Neil have beef. He’s an artist I deeply respect as a songwriter. But my god his voice. His voice is always such a bummer. Hey! Guess what! Same story here.
Liz Phair
2/5
I’ve always been baffled by this album. When I first started getting into music in my own, you naturally look up lists of greatest albums to see where to start. I was a huge fan of grunge and nineties rock so perfect, look up best albums of the 90s and here, this album keeps showing up. And I listened to it. And I didn’t get it. I didn’t hate it, but nothing about it screamed one of the greatest albums of all time. Now that I’m older, and have opened my mind to some albums I had rejected and loved them (I’m sorry Hole) and now…I still don’t get it.
It’s honest! Awesome. Plenty of people write honest and open poetry. It doesn’t get this acclaim, even if the words are more beautiful. It’s raw! Okay? So were a lot of albums at the time. It’s a woman’s voice! True! And I can definitely see that being a factor for its popularity and acclaim. It’s just. There were women’s voices before, contemporaneous, and many after, and…those voices were just better at writing songs. At the end of the day you can make as powerful and important message as you can, but if the music isn’t interesting or good…who cares?
Queen
2/5
I legitimately don’t know a single song on here which is baffling. This is some nerd shit. Like everyone involved deserves a swirly. Ogre Battle…c’mon guys.
This album’s bad. There no song on here that’s memorable. Some songs found like bad Bowie deep cuts, some sound like the worst track on a mid prog album. It’s kind of baffling that this is on here. The next Queen album at least sound like the band the world would fall in love with. This is just bad. Which is a bummer considering what comes later.
The 13th Floor Elevators
2/5
Pretty dime a dozen 60s garage album. It’s got the one gimmick being the amplified jug, which is cool. This album elicited the following responses from me. Huh. That’s neat. Okay. Sure whatever. Is it over yet?
Deerhunter
3/5
It’s fine. It’s sort of like if you asked for the most indie album possible. This would be the result.
Nick Drake
3/5
I don’t get Nick Drake. So much praise but I can’t remember anything about any of his songs. They’re ethereal, dreamy, but I remember plenty of dreams, not these ones. It’s fine, inoffensive, probably closer to really good. But who cares if it just exists like a flame and gets blown out. There’s a metaphor there for his life but blegh.
Van Halen
5/5
Van Halen is so fucking cool. I recommend listening to the Running With the Devil vocals isolated, it’s hilarious. That in mind this album rules. It doesn’t feel like 1978.
The worst track imo is Jamie’s Crying and that’s I think due to over saturation more than anything. I kinda loved this album. I’m the One should have been a single it’s terrific.
TLC
4/5
I’m enjoying this way more than I thought I would considering this isn’t my genre at all. Honestly the only stuff I know about TLC is from VH1 retrospectives. I know Left Eye burns a house down around this time. I also agree with the opening track she was FINE.
One issue with the format of the album a day thing. Somedays I’m not prepared for a song like Red Light Special, which is incredibly sexual. I’m driving to work and someone is talking about pussy. Like god DAMN. My sympathies to anyone who listens to these albums with family members lol.
Other than that, very surprised by how much I liked this. It really does deserve the hype VH1 gives it. Since it isn’t my genre there are parts I was a little bored or underwhelmed by but over all? Thumbs up.
Bruce Springsteen
5/5
Beatles
4/5
I don’t…really care…for the medley…most of the songs aren’t that great, and they don’t flow well. I’d rather those few be expanded more into better tracks like the first half. I’m sorry
Arrested Development
2/5
I’m always unsure how to feel about this album. Its messages aren’t…very good. Mr. Wendell is TERRIBLE a song about a homeless man that paints the homeless as wise dispensers of knowledge detached from our consumerist culture. And not people who are suffering the injustice of that system that forces them on the streets. It’s insulting frankly. It all comes of as preachy and holier than thou. Which is a shame because I like a lot of the beats and music. Just not the lyrics.
Like I’m all for kids having more respect for the earth and where food comes from but by being like teehee stop playing with Nintendo. Good lord.
Tennessee is really good. The album is interminably long
Astrud Gilberto
3/5
I never liked her voice. Bossa Nova and Samba are both really fun and I’m happy there’s some Brazilian representation on here but, blegh. Her voice is so okay. It shines in songs where she is supposed to sound bored but beyond that it decays into the background
AC/DC
3/5
It’s AC/DC it’s not high art. It’s fine. Theres nothing exceptional. There’s nothing terrible.
The Undertones
4/5
I had an Undertones greatest hits, which means I knew a few songs on here along with some that came before. I actually like this more than the greatest hits. The first song is amazing. It’s a tongue in cheek reference to their first big hits, which is very silly, but it also references some anxieties regarding being a new big band. Like hey now there’s pressure on us we’re trying our best. All the songs are these catchy poppy punk songs. It’s great.
Scott Walker
1/5
Literally what is this.
I’ve never needed a song that just recounts the movie the 7th Seal. Because why. That’s so pretentious. But this guy can’t pull it off. It’s like Tom Waits could probably do that. But he’d call it like, Ingmar, and it wouldn’t literally be a plot synopsis. But instead like, metaphor for heroin or something. And it would be good.
This is so awful. It’s like if Tom Jones started singing Barry Manilow, and then got no pussy as a result.
Who put this on here it’s so empty. Like I know people shit on the Limp Bizkit and Kid Rock albums but at least those are interesting. This is so fucking boring. Literally anyone could do this. It sucks. Easy 1 star
The Black Keys
4/5
Ahhh the Black Keys remind me so much of high school. This was when I started to take more notice of contemporary music, and this album stood out, it’s bluesy, and mostly good. In hindsight this album still holds up okay, I think it suffers from cultural rot. Like I associate the Black Keys with previews for an AMC show that no one remembers. Something about crime and sex, as like Gold on the Ceiling plays on the background. I also think they kinda wind up poisoning what would become later mainstream indie rock. Dan Auerbach producing Cage the Elephant being my favorite example, what a fucking nightmare. This album is good. It sounds good, I remember a lot of the songs. It’s good. Do I think a better singer would have helped? By god yes. But still
Ray Charles
3/5
Rod Stewart
5/5
I don’t even know where to start. I went into this with essentially negative expectations. I knew Maggie May? I knew Young Turks? And I knew Da Ya Think I’m Sexy. That last one is the real kicker, I had this view of Rod Stewart as a guy who had talent but understandably sold out to make music that only appealed to horny old women. Nothing wrong with that, but nothing I have to respect. And then. I listen to this album. Which is good. It’s very good. It’s folksy, it’s rocking. It’s got some…mixed lyrics (some are very good some are dated and weird, the 1970s.) There’s a weird Amazing Grace cover tacked onto the end of a song, that’s at least interesting.
Tomorrow is a Long Time is this beautiful country song (what a world if that’s the direction he went in!!!)
Mandolin Wind made me cry. I’m not joking. It’s a beautiful tragic thing. It’s so good. This album is so good what the fuck
I fucking loved this album. It’s the biggest
surprise I’ve had now 150 albums in. Just wow.
Deee-Lite
2/5
Groove is in the Heart is the only highlight. The rest seems like a parody of house music. It sucks
R.E.M.
5/5
I bet this album hits way harder if you’re depressed
Pulp
5/5
This is one of my favorite albums! It was one of the first CDs I bought and was incredibly formative for me. An album about being a working class nerd who’s bizarrely sexy? What’s not to love? It’s wonderful. The songs range from pop greats like Common People and Disco 2000, to the sort of James Bond-y themed I Spy. Honestly I like something about every song on the album. It’s wonderful.
ZZ Top
4/5
I think I like ZZ Top a lot more than a lot of the legacy hard rock acts because they get the joke. There’s posturing, there’s a lot of BS. No one is as cool as they seem. Which makes them so much cooler, because they know that. Here’s a song about waiting for the bus. Fuck yes. That’s exactly what I want. Jesus is leaving Chicago. Perfect thank you. Even a song like Sheik, a song title that raised my hackles, is just about this dude who wants a burrito. Love it. It never reaches the highs to propel it to 5 stars but hey man. At least they’re consistent
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
3/5
My first Elvis Costello on here. Spoilers his first three albums will be 5 stars. But I’ve never really listened beyond those three. What I’ve heard was always mixed. So giving this a fair shot is fun! It’s! Mixed! I like the opener and Blue Chair a lot. The album sounds great. But. BUT. Tokyo Storm Warning and I Want are INTERMINABLY LONG. Nothing changes with them, at least nothing interesting and they’re just these slogs I keep begging to end. I think I like Elvis when he’s doing fun energetic stuff, not a bunch of slower LONG songs. A very disappointing 3.
Bruce Springsteen
4/5
This album is very good, for some reason it doesn’t hit me as much as some of his others. It does have some absolute bangers, but none of them stand out as much as some of the songs on other albums
The Velvet Underground
4/5
Me and the Velvet Underground never vibed. I like John Cale and Lou Reed by themselves (or together on that Andy Warhol album, that should be on here it’s cute) but something about this album feels hollow. It’s good, I like it, but a lot of the songs kinda drag. I like Sunday Morning! I like Heroin! That’s kinda all that stuck with me though. The rest is almost like…there. It faded in the background very quick.
The Residents
1/5
This is frustrating because I really love the idea and what they stand for, I just hate the actual product. There is weird challenging stuff out there that still sounds good. This just doesn’t. I don’t like listening to this at all
The Dave Brubeck Quartet
4/5
Very good, no idea how to talk about jazz. I love some of the motifs, like Blue Turk and Take Five. The other songs are good but don’t jump out as much.
Gil Scott-Heron
2/5
This is one of those, yeah, sure, the political part is good, it’s interesting, you ever read Nixonland? It’s like that. But uh. The music? The fun of listening to this? Not really. It’s just not an enjoyable album.
M.I.A.
5/5
Did this thing just open with a Modern Lovers reference. This thing rules so much. It’s sonically varied and interesting and catchy and chaotic in all the best ways. I don’t know if I would have had the song with Australian kids rapping, but, hey I dunno. Jimmy is one of the craziest songs ever. When those 70s disco strings came in a fucking cheered.
The Killers
5/5
This is such a great album! Ugh
Curtis Mayfield
3/5
The Jesus song was a little much. I liked it overall. Better than some other 70s soul that would just be full of 70s cheese that reeks.
Barry Adamson
2/5
I like that on the surface, a soundtrack to an album that doesn’t exist kinda sounds interesting, almost obvious, why isn’t this done more?! But then you remember that like…any concept album might as well be that? Like. It’s music telling a story. But this is all instrumental! Okay sure but like, what about the vocal samples? Are they part of the sound track in the film or are they like. TVs playing in the background? Like we still have plot details and stuff dropped, at least a character and something about a West Indies gang or something? Okay so now it’s…more than just a soundtrack. Someone should make a game that’s an adaptation of a movie that doesn’t exist! Except no that’s dumb. Also this movie sounds cliche and not very interesting. And some of the songs sound like they’d be too overbearing in a film? Is that the point? It’s over the top because there isn’t really a film! But why frame it like that. Blegh
Mekons
4/5
I like this more than I dislike this. It’s kinda like the Pogues but a little toned down. Which makes it less good, they should have leaned into it more. I dunno. Some of the songs were very catchy and I’d listen to them again
Alanis Morissette
4/5
You Oughta Know suffers from being too overplayed because Jesus that song is amazing. Is there an angrier mainstream song? It rules. As for the whole album, it basically is the most 1990s album on here. Hand In My Pocket feels like the most 90s teen comedy/drama song ever. It’s fun.
Jorge Ben Jor
5/5
Love Brazilian music. Never really given Jorge Ben Jor a chance though. Always been more of a Gilberto Gil fan. (Side note check out his self titled 1968 album, it should be on this list damn it!) But this album makes me wish I’d have checked his stuff out before! It’s great, funky fun, great hooks, instrumentation and percussion that adds that unmistakable Brazilian fun. Wonderful!
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
3/5
Blegh, I like Nick Cave at his most bombastic, like on My Beautiful World. But the rest is so boring and just blegh.
The Crusaders
3/5
I always really dug the Jazz Crusaders album with the shoes on it. This being the same group with a different name. Kinda love this short ass album opening with an 11 minute jazzy disco epic, I like it! It’s a fine album. Nothing groundbreaking
Count Basie & His Orchestra
4/5
This is way more energetic and hard hitting than like a dozen metal and punk albums on this list
Cee Lo Green
1/5
Lloyd Cole And The Commotions
2/5
Every now and then my record store would have a massive used CD sale where a bunch of shit was $1, and there’d be hundreds of bands you never heard of, but you’d look them up because their name or album cover was kinda interesting. They all sounded like this. Completely forgettable and uninteresting. Who cares oh my god.
Green Day
4/5
This album is so boring as a whole. I remember so many of these songs from when I was younger. But Jesus, as an album you could put these songs in any order. It’s like 3.5
The Rolling Stones
2/5
One of those cases where every review in here is correct, what if we made the bookend songs all time classics with complicated and breathtaking soundscapes and made the rest of the album boring and sound like shit
Fleetwood Mac
1/5
Over and Over is the most nothing song imaginable.
The Ledge is at both amazing and horrible, love the energy, but why does it sound so awful.
How is this the most expensive album up through 1979, it sounds like shit what the hell happened. I usually don’t notice production weirdness but even this remaster sounds tinny, it sounds like it was recorded on a weird child’s Casio sometimes, there are times this wall of treble just overwhelms everything, it’s like being in a forest of cicadas. Jesus.
Ugh god when we’re not doing weird up tempo folk nightmares we’re doing generic power ballads like Sara, the DRUMS are mixed SO BADLY HOW DID THEY SPEND A MILLION ON THIS WHATS HAPPENING.
Are all of you rating this highly because you like Rumours so much? Are you scared of hurting Fleetwood Mac’s feelings? Because you shouldn’t be. This is very bad. What Makes You Think is so loud in all the wrong spots I don’t understand
Storms? More like Snores! This is the biggest mood killer I’ve heard. I don’t know what’s worse these shitty ass 70s nothing happening ballads or the bafflingly terrible production on the other songs. At least those are interesting.
That’s all for everyone just blasting in with a weird vocal effect is so funny. It’s also one of the most unnecessary songs on any album, did you know you can skip it and miss nothing. Because you can.
Not That Funny is hilarious. I actually kinda love it. The goofy synth, the fun beat. This is my favorite song so far lmao.
Sisters of the Moon feels like a parody of a Stevie Nicks song, which is very funny. Vaguely witchy lyrics? Sure. It’s at least the first song on the album that doesn’t sound awful which is good for a change.
Angel has AWFUL lyrics. It starts with a non sequitur. Blegh. I love when these albums become long spite listens like this. This albums a one if you couldn’t tell by now. Unless the song tusk blows my mind and even then it’s too little too late.
That’s Enough for Me is so fucking stupid. Again compared to the previous nothing it actually brings a genuine smile. Like hey remember the parts of this album that suck in the unique way!
Brown Eye’s starts and immediately fucking sucks, so let’s talk about the album cover. Dirty recycled paper. Barely visible title. Little terrier biting a pant leg. That little dog is a metaphor for the bad production. It’s so bad. This is just a baffling album all over.
Cry sucks. Next
The whiplash I’m getting from the ballads to the shitty keyboard will never not make me laugh. It’s amazing. I Know I’m Not Wrong? I know this album is wrong. Fuck it they didn’t put any effort in neither will I.
I just skipped to Tusk, I didn’t miss anything I can assure you, looking at the lyrics and the first few seconds.
Tusk is…uh…well it’s interesting at least. OH MY GOD THAT SOLO, that reminds me of the drum solo in Paralyzed by the Legendary Stardust Cowboy. Go listen to that instead! It’s better! It’s so much better than this whole album.
This is a rare thing among albums. It’s almost so bad it’s good. Almost. It just sucks so bad my god…
M.I.A.
3/5
Not as good as the other album on here, kind of has one idea and repeats it the whole time, as opposed to the much more inventive and imaginative sequel. Bleh
Johnny Cash
5/5
One thing about the march of time is that around the 2000s you start getting these last testaments by great acts. You Want it Darker and Blackstar come to mind. But this album is probably the first I think of. A last dance with a legacy act. And country is a fantastic genre for it. Getting old? All the weariness comes forward. Better than that is this album is inventive, covering all sorts of songs including famously NIN, a thing that on paper sounds INSANE but in practice is one of the most devastating performances ever. What an album. 1000% belongs on here even if you dislike it. This is an important fucking album, it says things about life itself dammit hahah
Hugh Masekela
3/5
Flugelhornist, can’t recall ever hearing an album led by flugelhorn. It’s a jazz album and I never know how the fuck I’m supposed to rate or talk about them. It’s fine, I don’t know if it has any stand out tracks,
Dire Straits
2/5
I remember that I listened to this album but I don’t remember anything about it. I feel like this is almost like you took every band from the 70s and distilled it into this, unremarkable grooves and riffs with one song that hits harder.
Adele
2/5
I remember the first time I heard Rolling in the Deep on some weird ass indie music streaming site and it blew my mind. It’s so good. I kinda wish Adele had more songs with that energy and vibe. Her sad stuff is good too but doesn’t tickle the same itch. The worst part is the whole thing suffers from early 2010s production sound. I don’t know what it is, but all pop had this sound to it then and it’s kind of grating as times gone in, I wanna say it’s like 2008-2013, something about that sound is repellant to me. Blegh
Venom
1/5
Oh…I was kinda hoping for the like…actual criminal Scandinavian black metal scene. Not…what I can only describe as your cousin’s band HE’S really proud of, but he’s like 35, and still lives at home because he just needs his big break. And I guess he got it. But like. He didn’t deserve it. I can hear the influence on a lot of things but who cares it sucks. It does suck in the special “this is so bad it’s hilarious” kind of way which is always nice.
As a treat look at the band picture of Venom on Spotify, it’s 3 dudes who look like three different versions of the same metal head who’s into different genres of metal. What a joy.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
Like. C’mon. It’s gonna be 5 stars
Jurassic 5
4/5
This album ruled until the weird needless homophobia in One of Them. It was 5 stars until that song. Way to go 2002
Supertramp
3/5
I think this should have been Breakfast in America (which I don’t believe is on this list) it’s a perfectly serviceable album with some real fun songs here and there. It just is about as dated as an album can get haha
Queens of the Stone Age
3/5
Queens of the Stone Age is a band I feel like I keep being told I should like despite never meeting anyone who is like, THEY’RE my favorite band. They kept showing up on video game soundtracks, and I remember them being in an episode of Anthony Bourdains show. And the whole time I was like. Eh. They’re fine. They’re the logical conclusion of what main stream alt rock would be post grunge. And it’s fine. It’s perfectly acceptable.
David Bowie
4/5
Really dug this album. You can hear the Brian Eno leaking through this album. The electronic sounds are so forward looking too, it’s like the precursor to New Wave. The second half has its moments but is definitely a little too experimental and ambient-y for my tastes. Still excellent!
Muddy Waters
4/5
This made me want to eat ribs in a dingy smoke filled bbq joint.
John Lennon
2/5
This album kinda sucks. Nothing really interesting. A lot of songs about John Lennon being sad. But I don’t really care.
You should listen to the new cumgirl8 album that just came out, that album was better than this. That album get 5 stars. John Lennon? Only 2
Dinosaur Jr.
4/5
Jesus a lot of low ratings are popular for this. It’s not that bad? Like it sounds like a very competent pre-grunge indie album with a few standout tracks.
Metallica
2/5
This is so fucking cool on paper, and when the band and the orchestra hit they hit HARD. The problem is this is Metallica and James Hetfield fucking sucks as a lead singer and there’s so many of his little vocal inflections that ruin everything. If his vocals were replaced with a string or a wind or a brass section, then this would rule, but like. His dumb voice takes it out. There was this time an orchestra played live while Jeff Jarrett and Dutch Mantel wrestled. This is the auditory version of that. Except the difference is Jeff Jarrett didn’t sing like an asshole.
There’s an album the Royal Philharmonic did of Elvis songs, and if fucking Elvis is outshining your vocals then Jesus.
Beck
4/5
I really like Beck. I don’t know if I love him though. I certainly like his early stuff. I haven’t listened to this album before. I only knew E-Pro which is a very good song. This whole album is good. I don’t think I have much else to say about it other than it’s good and I like it.
The Triffids
3/5
Not as bad as people say, but definitely shouldn’t be on here. A catchy bog standard new wave album
Shuggie Otis
3/5
Shuggie Otis is a cool name, I’ve also never heard of him before this. This is fine. Perfectly middle of the road
Booker T. & The MG's
4/5
Mercury Rev
2/5
I don’t get it. It’s very boring.
Elliott Smith
3/5
This is so hard to rate. Parts of it feel like 5 parts of it feel like 2. If someone loved this as a younger person I’d totally get it. It just doesn’t hit with me
Jacques Brel
4/5
It’s very French. I liked it more than I thought though. Dude has an interesting and powerful voice.
Public Enemy
3/5
I really liked Public Enemy when I was younger but something about this just doesn’t feel the same. It’s good but I remember it hitting harder
Circle Jerks
3/5
I think there are ultimately two types of people who are attracted to punk rock. The first feels alienated by society because they exist at the margins, socially, economically, politically, and the attitude is freeing as it is cathartic. The second person is also alienated, mostly because they’re an asshole and people don’t like being around them. Circle Jerks hewn much closer to this second person. Let’s write a song about sleeping with a skank so our parents don’t think we’re gay! Cool. They use a different word too. Neat. They do have a song about getting a vasectomy. That’s kinda cool. Also the very prescient Paid Vacation! Group Sex even is surprisingly…not a joke song, like sure if you’re into swinging go nuts. But man. I dunno. I get a real repellant vibe from these dudes. They remind me of the dude who would throw a punch in the mosh pit, who smelled awful, and flirted with underage girls. That’s not fair and I’m not accusing them. It just reminds me of that guy
Meat Loaf
5/5
This is so over the top and stupid. I love it.
Cat Stevens
4/5
Pretty damn good, just wish some of the songs were more energetic
Shack
1/5
You’d be better off listening to Aaron Carter’s seminal work Aaron’s Party which has the hit single That’s How I Beat Shaq, which should have been titled That’s How I Best Shack. Because it’s a better and more important and impactful album than this, full stop.
Miles Davis
2/5
I remember back when I was getting into jazz to impress the girl at the record store, I listened to a lot of intro level stuff. Giant Steps, Dave Brubeck, Mingus! And then I was like hey this is critically acclaimed! And I listened to the whole thing painting a locker room in winter. And it sucked. It still sucks. Mostly because it’s so experimental it almost becomes boring? Hey you know a good jazz album? The SimCity 3000 soundtrack. Listen to that instead
Beck
4/5
I listened to this album a bunch. I think Becks biggest flaw is inconsistency, because the good songs on this are incredible. And then Rock the Catskills is one of the worst songs I’ve ever heard in my life.
Bob Dylan
3/5
Some parts of it are good, some parts of it are so boringly fine. It’s a solid 3 woohoo
Burning Spear
3/5
I don’t really like or get reggae and this was surprisingly good for reggae insofar as I actually listened to it. It’s fine
Patti Smith
5/5
One of my all time favorites. It’s big and theatrical and crisp as much as it is chaotic and messy. I love it.
De La Soul
5/5
The only problem with this album is the problem with so many classic hip hop albums, there’s too many skits. In spite of that, this album hits so hard. The three song run of Tread Water, Potholes, and Say No Go rules. Plus Eye Know and Me Myself and I are absolute classics. Hell even De La Orgee, a song that always played on shuffle in my car anytime I had a first date in my car and I’d have to embarrassingly hurry to change the track before she noticed, makes me laugh. Just a great album
3/5
Sure whatever
Public Image Ltd.
3/5
It’s a perfectly fine post punk album that’s a little too up its own ass. Not nearly as bad as the reviews say but the religion songs are so lame
Slint
3/5
I think I always confuse this for an album I like more. This is fine?
Prince
3/5
Hmmm. I think it’s a real mixed bag. I bet if this album was shortened it’d be much better. Some songs are great, some are boring and skippable. The lack of the Revolution is pretty clear, there are no real bangers on this
The KLF
2/5
Jesus. Electronic artists love taking their original album and then changing them completely ruining the historical posterity. Like I’m sure who ever wanted this on the list probably had the 91 version in mind but NOOOO now there’s a new version with the track list completely different. Stupid. Anyway.
This is one of the most difficult albums to talk about because the KLF HAS to be on a music list. Read their Wikipedia article. Or watch the This Exists episode about them. They kind of exist as this bizarre art project that makes the most…bafflingly bad Euro trash of all time.
Primal Scream
3/5
This is a thing I’ve noticed British bands sometimes do which is start there album with ambient noise you have to sit through that is completely divorced from the actual track. Don’t do that. That’s dumb.
Anyway, hey I recognize that album cover! Not this one, Screamadelica. I don’t know anything about it. Other than people like it. I kept waiting for Jesus Jones’ Right Here Right Now to start during the first song. Which is damning with faint praise.
Hmmm. Nothing here is bad. Should it be in here. Ehhhh, probably their more acclaimed album? But this I have a harder time justifying. I like the jazzy parts. I just don’t know that I’ll remember listening to this in a year. I do really like the concept of this album. An alternative soundtrack of an old movie. That’s fun. Problem is I haven’t seen said movie. Hrm. This is a 3 stars that legitimately could be more or less. I really don’t know how to feel on this one. I like it artistically but not as music if that makes sense
David Bowie
4/5
Pretty good, though it lacks anything that stays with me, although TVC15 is pretty great
The Soft Boys
4/5
Morrissey
4/5
I’m not listening to fucking Morrisey the day after the election. It’s a few weeks later and this album is shockingly not shit.
Bill Callahan
3/5
Beatles
3/5
This is fine. I genuinely like the Monkees better.
The xx
3/5
I really liked In Colour, and I can’t remember if I’ve ever listened to The xx before. It’s…got potential, I wish they leaned into the clubby dance side more. This feels a little too slow to hold my interest more than the initial listen
Barry Adamson
2/5
This sucks lol. I think it’s more interesting as a concept than it is listenable as an album
The Who
4/5
Damn that top review really is spitting facts
Neil Young
4/5
Probably the best Neil album I’ve heard on here? Which isn’t saying much. It still has all the same problems, this one just manages to finally have some bops
Violent Femmes
5/5
Janis Joplin
3/5
I totally get why people are into her and her voice. I’m not though which is a bummer. I find her voice a little taxing
Wilco
5/5
Rush
2/5
I fucking hate the trope that the POWER OF ROCK AND MUSIC AND INDIVIDUALITY will conquer some oppressive regime. And since these morons are objectivists the regime they’re overthrowing is all about…equality and the meek inheriting the earth. How fucking oppressive?? Stupid. But the music is fun. Rush is better in smaller doses.
Missy Elliott
2/5
It stinks!
Lynyrd Skynyrd
3/5
This well and truly was me going yeah what ever that’s okay until Freebird which is so fucking awesome. It’s a shame these guys are probably gigantic racists or something.
Brian Eno
5/5
Unbelievably good. So ahead of its time, so clever and catchy and just weird enough without being totally repellent. Love love loved it.
Fleetwood Mac
5/5
Fuck
Jungle Brothers
2/5
Yawn
4/5
Hey this is pretty good! It doesn’t even have the songs I know on it
Sly & The Family Stone
4/5
Billie Holiday
2/5
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
2/5
The times when it shines are amazing. Those harmonies man. But then there’s songs like Almost Cut My Hair, a truly terrible song about being an annoying hippy. Standing up for something? What? Oh something completely immaterial. Shut the fuck up. And then after that Neil Young shits all over it with Helpless.
One of the problems with a super group like this is some members SHOULDN’T be given equal footing or in this case writing credit. Stick to your lane. It makes the whole project inconsistent. Blegh
Silver Jews
3/5
I really like a lot of Silver Jews songs but I’ve never listened to a single song on this album. This albums biggest issue is it never gets out of first gear, a thing this group is capable of doing. I really like the song Honk if You’re Lonely, that’s a sad song but it’s fun and catchy. Hell, American Water the album that track is on is both better AND more critically acclaimed…so like, why not that one? I dunno if you listened to this and liked it a little I’d say give them more chances, they might surprise you. Sadly I’m gonna have to give this a 3.
Fugees
2/5
It’s like if someone kept rapping mildly obscure references that educated people would get like Porgy and Bess and Colecovision and Paralax over backing tracks made entirely of songs from Pure Moods. It’s hip hop for the most annoying liberal you know! Jesus
Fatboy Slim
2/5
I like Praise You and that’s it really
Prince
4/5
I bet whoever came up with that riff in delirious ran and showed it to everyone because my god is it CRISP. Uh everyone is right, this album is way too long. But it really has some incredible highs on it. The first three tracks are so good.
Judas Priest
3/5
Metal is so much better when it’s fucking stupid. It’s the dumbest genre, and Judas Priest knows that. Which makes this way better than a lot of other metal albums. Also Rob Halford seems like a nice guy. But the albums also doesn’t reach the absolutely stupid heights the later ones do when they almost become a parody of themselves. Look at the album cover for Defender of the Faith. It’s amazing. But uh. 3.5 I guess
The Velvet Underground
2/5
I like how White Light/White Heat is a pretty good song for the most part. And then they follow it up with the worst use of stereo I’ve ever heard in my life as John Cale tells me a story I don’t fucking care about that sucks. And then it’s followed by a song that’s pretty good for the most part. Then there’s a song I like right after that. Then there’s a song that’s only okay. And then there’s Sister Ray, the only part I knew was “she’s sucking on my ding dong” I didn’t like this very much
Soundgarden
4/5
Hey this is pretty good. It’s too long. It also kinda lacks a bite I’m looking for? Like the production almost feels too nice. I want some more sludge and ugly. This feels A LOT like the precursor to what would become Foo Fighters which makes sense. I dunno Spoonman and Blackhole Sun are still all time greats.
Anita Baker
2/5
Am I supposed to be fucking to this? Because this would be the most soulless uninteresting sex imaginable. The voice is pleasant though
Roxy Music
4/5
Hey I just heard Here Come the Warm Jets for the first time recently and I loved it. This really feels like the predecessor to it. Fun and experimental while also being listenable music
Buzzcocks
3/5
I’m never sure what to do with the Buzzcocks. They’re not BAD, but they’re so generic and don’t really do enough to set themselves apart from the standard punk band. It’s like they were made in a lab to be fine.
Fiona Apple
3/5
Uh. Sure whatever. I really want to like this, but there’s never a point that feels…impressive? Bombastic? Worthwhile? I dunno. I think her voice is let down by the instrumental, which I can only describe as “mid nineties jazzy piano beats to sleep to” it all melds into this singular mass that never gets good. It never gets bad either. A 2.5 all around
The Coral
1/5
The early 2000s is a veritable who’s who of rock bands that every publication said would be the next big thing. This is like Gogol Bordello for people who thought it was too ethnic. It’s this thing where for some reason every reviewer became reactionary and felt the next big thing HAD to be a throw back. They all suck and are so mid. This is probably a 2.5 star album but fuck this it’s so NOTHING
Dion
1/5
The only reason this soft shit is on here is because the Primal Scream guy liked it. This is like a worse Barry Manilow. Except I get why people wanna fuck Barry Manilow. This makes me wanna die
Keith Jarrett
4/5
Calexico
2/5
I’ve never listened to Calexico because they always struck me as a flash in the pan that a lot of people liked at the moment and quickly wrote off. I got this impression because in my record store’s indie section, there were always Calexico albums that NEVER sold. They were there forever. So to me? That said there was no point.
Now. What is to be made of this album now that I’ve heard it? That feels about right to me. This doesn’t really do much. It doesn’t lean far enough into something interesting. Hey does anyone else like Murder by Death? They give me more of a weird desperate lost in a desert vibe. That’s not even fair.
R.E.M.
3/5
I’ll be real with you, REM deep cuts all sound the same on every album. There’s always those one or two bright spots and then literally the same song over and over
Echo And The Bunnymen
5/5
Love this so much! It’s lush and elegant and just perfection. This might be THE new wave album. Crisp and incredibly produced, over the top and melodramatic, but never boring, never uninteresting. Killing Moon is an all timer.
The Strokes
5/5
Liking Is This It is like saying you enjoy breathing. It’s a cold take that no one cares about. I really like Is This It
Cowboy Junkies
2/5
The Cowboy Junkies are the most, I should like this band but I don’t, I can think of. It just never feels like the songs start. I do think the cover of I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry is the best version of that song though. It benefits from the glacial tempo all their songs are at
Stan Getz
4/5
If the 1960s jazz album has some random piece of abstract modern art on it you know you’re in for a treat. Bossa Nova might be the most accessible form of world music, because I’ve never met anyone who hates it. It’s easy it’s cool it’s nice. I just wish it was MORE, I tend to like my Brazilian music more exciting and angry. Hey Gilberto Gil isn’t on this list, that’s a shame, Marginalia II is one of the greatest songs ever written.
Lou Reed
4/5
The songs on here that are good are really good, but then every know and then there’s like a showtune that kinda sucks. Lou is much better away from the Velvet Underground
The Rolling Stones
4/5
Fun fact the whole reason I started this is because of this album. I was like damn I’ve never listened to a single Rolling Stones album and then I saw it was on the 1001 list and I was like shit I haven’t listened to a LOT of albums. Well here I am, 250 albums later. Anyway you don’t fucking care you don’t know me.
I still don’t know how I should take Brown Sugar. Like. I’m not mad that Mick Jagger has a thing for black women. But why’s it gotta be about slavery in the start. And then young girl is VERY MUCH CLOSE to losing them a star.
There’s some gold on here. There’s also some terrible British rock band thinks they can do the blues on here which is always fucking dreadful. Unlistenable.
Beastie Boys
1/5
They sure do talk about shooting people a lot. Despite them…definitely never shooting anyone. Hey why wasn’t there outrage about this and instead only when gangster rappers did it.
You’re allowed to say this has aged really badly folks. The Boys get better with age. This is so obnoxious in a way that absolutely would have hooked the kids. This is the 80s Limp Bizkit and most of you are too scared to admit that.
Also it’s been a while, time to break out the “This classic artist just admitted to being a pedophile” penalty! I get it’s PROBABLY (hopefully) meant to call out Jimmy Page. But like. That’s the grounds for comparison. He doesn’t say I’m like Jimmy Page EXCEPT I like girls of age, no no, he says that’s a point of comparison. You lose a star. Hey look you can compare that to Kid Rock! It’s almost like it’s THE SAME THING YOU'RE ALL SO DUMB.
Fuck you 1 star. No Sleep is good all the rest sucks. I gave Ill Communication 4 stars, this is fucking embarrassing. It sounds like shit.
Daft Punk
2/5
Ehhh. So I like the songs that I’ve heard before but every other song is so repetitive and like…boilerplate. Why wasn’t there 2001 album chosen. This is just so blegh. A lot of the electronic albums feel like that on this list.
Sufjan Stevens
2/5
I remember when people were telling me about how Carrie and Lowell was one of the most beautiful albums of all time. And on this album about his mom he talks about jerking off. And that’s when I decided that the soft ass album was not for me.
Sufjan Stevens is the absolute worse voice to tell me an in depth history of Illinois because I love the ideas here! I love that the song about genociding the natives is this ironic triumphant symphony. I love a song about the white city at the world’s fair, John Wayne Gacy, all sorts of great subject matter here.
BUT! BUT!!! We gotta make it so twee and ironic. Teehee, all the titles are like 30 words long! Isn’t that cute? Listen to these woodwinds! My voice is breathy and annoying. It’s one of THE most frustrating albums I’ve ever listened to because there are parts I really like! All let down by ol’ captain asthmatic’s gasps for air. FUCK.
Only a weird fucking Christian artist could be like teehee I’m just like John Wayne Gacy! I’ve done some bad things! Secrets under my floor boards! Like my man, nah, you’re good. Just because you stole a Twix bar once doesn’t mean you’re a serial killer.
If I wanted sad vaguely Christian folky indie I have the Mountain Goats for that tyvm. And fuck, they also have an album about Illinois.
Dolly Parton
4/5
Classic, I think Jolene is the overall more solid album.
Khaled
3/5
1990s world music that uses any kind of synthesizer all sounds the same. Bad. And cheap. I think they must be using the same library or something. What am I supposed to say about this? I’m glad there’s music on this list from Algeria. But like. I have no context for this? It sounds fine. Perfectly fine music. Just next to impossible to find online.
Marvin Gaye
3/5
What the hell is going on with the animations on Spotify for this album. There’s like a T. Rex on God is Love? Like what? Anyway. This is fine. It doesn’t really click with me? It’s fine. The hits are good. But it’s a little preachy in a way that doesn’t accomplish anything. Yeah sure love and all that woo.
Solange
3/5
An album that says a lot but doesn’t say it in a memorable or interesting way. So why bother with it.
Various Artists
4/5
Aw! This is cute that we get this on Christmas! This album is an album of two halves. One is songs you’ve heard before, particularly the Ronettes. The other is songs you’ve NEVER HEARD BEFORE, and they’re not great? And then silent night starts with Phil being like HEY THANKS. It’s still a good classic.
The Louvin Brothers
3/5
Classic old country, whether or not someone likes this really depends on their tolerance for old ass guitar music. I liked it at least.
Sister Sledge
4/5
This is fun! I wouldn’t say it’s perfect or anything like that, but it’s a solid enjoyable dance album.
Buck Owens
5/5
Some of you piss me off. You’re the same people giving the same generic I like all music except rap and country. Shut the fuck up. Why are you even here. Expand your mind to good fun country! Classic country! I loved this album.
Björk
4/5
This is…really great haha. It’s one of the albums on here that I’m really glad is on here. I didn’t even realize the point of it until the third track, where everything is vocal. It’s neat. I don’t think I’d ever listen to it for fun? Haha it’s a little intense. And I wouldn’t necessarily call it pretty. But I do like it a lot!
Bob Dylan
2/5
Will this be the first Bob Dylan album to not get 3 stars??? Yep! 2 stars this time! It’s so boring. Who cares if the lyrics are great if the music is unlistenable. I’m sorry but there’s a difference between a songwriter and a poet. Bro is the latter more than the former. Because he’s fucking bad at writing hooks.
The Human League
4/5
Hey! Guess what! I like New Wave. And this is like. PEAK new wave. I love it.
Simply Red
2/5
Jesus. I’d love to see the justification for this in the book. Like. Is it just so they can be like DAMN THIS GINGER HAS PIPES. This sucks lol
The Chemical Brothers
3/5
All I know about the Chemical Brothers is that Jez from Peep Show really liked them and tried to emulate them. And honestly I have trouble distinguishing his shitty music from what’s in offer here. It’s not BAD, but what am I supposed to do with this? It’s hard to think of when I’d ever listen to this unless I found myself in a street race in 1999. Or playing a PS1 game.
King Crimson
2/5
Truly a landmark album. Here we see the birth of prog rock. We have a single track, 21st Century Schizoid Man, that is innovative in both sound and scope. And then every other song is a boring slog featuring the ramblings of a lead singer who has nothing to say. A triumph in sucking and being boring
Aphex Twin
3/5
Sure whatever
Nanci Griffith
3/5
Love her vocals, the issue is the whole album is a little maudlin and samey. Which is a big shame. I think some of her later output is a lot more punchy in the lyrics and music. For this though it’s a serviceable if bland pop country album.
Led Zeppelin
3/5
Truly showcasing the best and worst of Zeppelin. The good songs are rocking and catchy. Infectious riffs. And then shitty awful unending screeches and horrible white man’s blues that’s embarrassing to listen to.
Dr. Octagon
4/5
Christ. This is absolutely my newest guilty pleasure. It’s offensive and crass and juvenile and FUNNY. I think that’s what separates this from something like early Eminem. Early Eminem is just in it for shock value and that’s it. This on the other hand is actually funny? And stupid. I like the one skit where he just yells HES DEAD. Like it’s dumb and funny. I’m so sorry
Nirvana
5/5
I was an angsty teenager who loved grunge, of course this album gets 5 stars. Amazingly I remember all the lyrics despite not listening to this album in years. The big thing with this list is figuring out which of the 5 star Nirvana albums is my favorite.
Iron Maiden
4/5
I think Iron Maiden manages to be one of the least embarrassing metal acts. Like I listened to Phantom of the Opera, which was the only song I knew on here, and it’s good. It’s fun, there’s nothing cringy. The instruments are tight. The only flaw is the vocals, because Bruce Dickinson is a WAY better and more interesting singer. I’m guessing Number of the Beast is on this list? And that’s the better album overall.
The Flaming Lips
3/5
Man, on paper I should love this but I just don’t. There something missing on every song. It’s strange because there were times this album made me think of Grandaddy’s Sophtware Slump, which is very similar in sound and theme, but I really like that album and this one just didn’t connect. I dunno. I think Sophtware Slump is better at having the music match the theme? I didn’t feel the excitement of a robot fighting.
Anthrax
4/5
Yet more proof Metallica fucking sucks. I like this a lot! Other than I Am the Law, a song which has absolutely gotten an innocent killed by a cop as it played in his head
Jack White
3/5
Eugh, Jack White’s solo projects…Jack White is one of my bugbears in that I’ve never heard anything I’ve hated, I just don’t like him. This is fine. It’s inoffensive and generally sounds good. I just don’t like it. Because I’m a hater. Freedom at 21 could be like…an Adam Levine song.
Joan Armatrading
2/5
Aw man. This is one of those albums I feel bad for more than anything. It just has no staying power. I can’t remember anything about this, and it sounds incredibly dated and it never really has any passion?
Todd Rundgren
4/5
Wow I have a lot of trouble with this one. I love the first five tracks. Rock and Roll Pussy? Love it. But the weird soul and like…I guess mood music? Didn’t really resonate with me. I really respect this album though. I love that it’s one big medley.
Boston
5/5
I just realized the UFOs in this album art are guitars. I like that Boston’s iconography is all UFOs and not like. John Hancock or something. Fenway Park. This is one of those albums that suffers from the radio. Like, Jesus what a fucked up first 3 songs, they’re so crisp and good. But also I’ve heard them 1000 times. So separating myself from that, what a good album! Wikipedia mentions the power pop influence and I think that’s why it’s so good. Fuck you that bass on Foreplay is so fucking good
Sex Pistols
4/5
Mixed feelings on this. In many ways it was better than I thought. But in others it was kinda juvenile and clearly meant to be shocking.
Funkadelic
2/5
Uhhhh. Huh. I don’t get it. This is like a legendary album. And I don’t really understand why. I’ve heard funkier. I’ve enjoyed funkier! It’s I guess…kinda experimental? But I’ve heard better experiments. There’s farts at the end. And a power to the pussy chant. Is that…about Armageddon? Is it meant to be a joke? I don’t get it!
Pink Floyd
5/5
One of the greatest albums ever written. It’s so much more than the sum of its parts and so many of those parts are excellent.
The Waterboys
4/5
Never heard or seen of this band before. This is a real treat though! Every time people on here complain about deluxe editions makes me want to scream. You don’t have to listen to disk 2 you morons
The Specials
3/5
It’s ska. Ska sucks. But this is at least trying to do and say something that the awful nightmare of 3rd wave ska never could. Uhhh. Better than I thought but I’ll never listen to it again
The Beta Band
1/5
Astoundingly shitty
Queen
4/5
Fantastic album, what’s there to really say about Freddie’s vocals? The production is unbelievably crisp. There’s such a varied amount of sounds on this, it’s adorable and I mean that as a compliment. It’s fun and playful. What can be said about Bohemian Rhapsody? The Prophet’s Song is the same in size.
Special shout out to ‘39 which might have the distinction of being the ONLY good sci-fi song entirely because it isn’t immediately obvious it is one and it discusses an unbelievably complicated topic like time dilation lol.
The only bummer is the amount of fluff. It’s pretty much unbelievable highs and really okay lows
Peter Gabriel
4/5
This album is pretty good. It is such an 80s album lol. I think it’s biggest issue is I don’t know when I’d listen to this. It’s kind of too intense to be relaxing but too chill to pump me up.
Charles Mingus
5/5
The Verve
1/5
Oh nooooooo. I’m officially sick of the mid 1990s britpop acts. This one is particularly bad. The lyrics suck. Generic and basic and nothing about this album works. None of it will be remembered. It’s too dull to hate which makes it one of the worst albums on here
fIREHOSE
4/5
fIREHOSE always manages to be a band with songs that make me wonder why they aren’t a bigger deal, followed by songs that remind me exactly why they aren’t. This is probably their most consistent record though
The Zombies
4/5
Orange Juice
3/5
Truly a mixed bag. The highs like the title track are really great, fun, a little funky, danceable, great. But a lot of the meat is pretty bland and forgettable melding into one big pile. It’s good. It just never dips both toes into great
Crosby, Stills & Nash
3/5
It sounds fine but everything blurs into this hippy dippy vibe that just becomes a mash of harmonies and blegh.
Dennis Wilson
1/5
This is the soundtrack for the hippy commune’s last group sex session because they had to split up because gas prices got too high.
Eagles
2/5
Jesus Chug All Night took this down an entire star what the fuck was that. Take it Easy being written by a totally different guy not in the band makes so much sense because it’s MILES better than the rest of the album.
The Cure
3/5
Sure whatever
FKA twigs
2/5
Man every time I’ve gotten an alt R&B album in this list it’s so dour and boring it makes me wonder if the genre is worth it, and so far every time when the album ends it starts playing songs that are WAY better, up beat and fun. I feel like there’s this pervasive thought that all music that is good and heady must also be boring. Blegh
The Who
3/5
This album is such a mess. It’s not very consistent or good. It should absolutely be on here though. There are some highlights here and there.
David Crosby
2/5
There are two types of 70s folk in my eyes. One is genuine and borrows from actual folk ways. It stands on tradition and adds to it in a way that makes the whole better. And then there’s this, people who like the vibes of folk man. Free love and shit man. The hippies lost and this is why. This says nothing. It sucks. The cowboy song was okay.
Mylo
4/5
WOW! An electronic album I actually like. It’s smooth and playful and never annoying. A real treat!
My Bloody Valentine
2/5
Fuck. I mean it’s better than Loveless. But who cares
DJ Shadow
3/5
Marvin Gaye
4/5
Best of the Gaye’s I’ve heard on this list. Isn’t preachy or fucking depressing.
Black Flag
4/5
This albums stupid. It’s really fun. TV Party is objectively such a shitty song. I love it so much. It’s all about this vibe that just doesn’t exist anymore. I used to hate Black Flag because of that but in hindsight this album is a really fun little punk album
Otis Redding
3/5
This is one of those albums I’ve never heard but it sounded exactly like I expected.
Brian Eno
4/5
T. Rex
3/5
Every time I think of T. Rex the image of my minds eye is this proto metal band that rocks. And then I listen to them and it’s like this totally fine 70s rock album that never gets past the second gear. Like I love the song Jeepster, but I wish the other songs kicked it up a bit more. Idk man. It’s fine
Madness
2/5
WOW WE HAVE A NEW REASON TO DING AN ALBUM A STAR, fucking, BROWNFACE, Justin Trudeau is in Madness. Jesus between this and the skinhead thing they’re on thin fucking ice. Anyway. It’s ska. It sucks. It’s hard to find. Every now and then something fun happens.
John Coltrane
5/5
I wish Giant Steps was on here either instead or in addition. (God forbid we have two Coltrane albums on here, gotta make room for the NINE NEIL YOUNG ALBUMS) Anyway, this is one of those albums that is too important to talk about. It’s spiritual in a way that makes sense even to this bitter agnostic.
Bauhaus
4/5
Röyksopp
3/5
I doubt I’d ever listen to this again but it was largely inoffensive with a few interesting hooks and melodies.
Sade
4/5
Is that the same font as Nirvana’s Bleach? Anyway, wow! I really liked this! This is a lotta fun, in a smooth kind of way.
Grateful Dead
2/5
Kinda baffled by this album. Like it truly feels like any folksy twangy band could have made this. But maybe made it better. Like…if you were into this stuff at the time did you just have your fists clenched listening to Creedence doing the same thing way better and way more interesting.
Bob Dylan
4/5
This is my FIFTH Bob Dylan album. FIVE. And is this one gonna be any good?!
OH MY GOD IT IS! It’s so good! It’s his best album! It’s tight and sounds so good. BOB! We did it!!! BOOOOB!!!
Belle & Sebastian
5/5
This is some soft twee bullshit that sucks. I fucking love it.
Neil Young
4/5
Probably the best Neil album I’ve heard on the list so far. God knows I’ve had a bunch.
4/5
Probably the most frustrating album on the list. I loved it, I thought it was beautiful and fun and playful. It’s truly of its time in a way that’s hard to explain. It’s like the culmination of 20th century British music with production techniques that make it feel more at home in the new millennium. Problem, the thing is inaccessible. I doubt I’ll ever log into YouTube to listen to just this album. So like. It exists in a fleeting forgettable way.
James Taylor
2/5
I finally get it. This must be what folk sounds like to people who hate folk. This is so…nothing. It’s like a dry musty fart in an attic. And then the smell of Steam Roller Blues hits in what might be the most embarrassing song I’ve heard on this list yet. Truly a triumph in sucking.
Sigur Rós
3/5
One of those rare albums that without a doubt needs to be on this last that I can’t really stand. I dunno I’m not in the mood for this. Maybe in 10 years when I’m depressed that the world is ending or something and some new Tower of Babel-esque disaster occurred that led to all language being lost I can do it. I dunno whatever
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
2/5
Jesus Christ this is my sixth album with Neil Young on it in less than a year. Nearly 2 percent of my year has been Neil Young. He’s just fine! I like him fine but my god could we get a crumb of representation from ANYONE else. Is there a single Japanese artist on this list? Is there any classic Mexican music? Anyway here’s Neil Young again.
Did you know there are NINE Neil Young albums on here. That’s the same as Lennon and McCartney and David Bowie. Three of the most influential and groundbreaking artists. It’s more than Brian Eno a dude who has done unbelievable stuff and innovated whole genres. Frank Zappa? Fuck that guy this is NEIL YOUNG MOTHERFUCKER. What you think John Cale and Lou Reed should be on here more? You stupid fucking bitch, here’s NEIL MOTHERFUCKING YOUNG. Marvel at his ability to perform the same songs with different people harmonizing! Sometimes it’s acoustic, other times it’s ELECTRIC!!! I’m sorry I’m just so fucking bored. And like this time it’s more of the same, GARAGE EDITION!!!!!!! Marvel as Neil does his same schtick but this time it’s on CD so we can make it an hour long and have it sound like shit. Fucking AHHH. It’s not even that bad In just sick of this dude. And I have to hear him THREE MORE TIMES
Cyndi Lauper
4/5
I had no idea Cyndi Lauper ruled this hard
Steve Winwood
1/5
This feels like it should be the music for like, the tourism board of a Disney World knock off in like. Mississippi. Like it feels familiar, but it’s not the same. In fact it fucking sucks.
The Doors
3/5
Every time I hear The Doors two things happen. I hear a song I’m familiar with and am blown away by how good it sounds. Truly hard hitting face melting stuff especially for the time.
And then a deep cut like Blue Sunday shows up and it’s some of the worst shit I’ve ever heard in my whole life. This is music some smelly hippy played for some smelly hippy lady so they could have smelly hippy sex. It’s awful.
The Beta Band
1/5
Fuck me sideways. Not one but TWO Beta Band albums. Arbitrary award winner, worst album covers for a band featured more than once on this list. Jesus Christ. Is it better than the other album? Maybe. I don’t remember that one. I don’t really remember this one either. It’s trying to be smug and carefree in a real 2001 way that just doesn’t happen anymore. I just can’t be asked. Parts of it are fine, there are moments of shine but like. There are times when I’ve had diarrhea twice in a month and there were parts that were bearable there. But I’m not gonna give it more than one star. Fuck you.
Nightmares On Wax
3/5
Instrumental hip hop always makes leaves me wanting something more. It’s all appetizers no main course. It just music for vibes, and that’s fine but am I about to seek this out? No.
Duran Duran
3/5
Truly 2 songs and then a bunch of filler. I want to fuck the bass though.
X-Ray Spex
5/5
Loved this, it presages Riot Grrl and New Wave at the same time while still being its own thing
Gene Clark
2/5
Sorta…nothing…Gene Clark’s No Other is way better I think because he had like…a band. And production, this is just sorta fine?
Pavement
5/5
When I first heard this album years ago I think I hated it except for Cut Your Hair and Unfair. And now I think it’s a masterpiece.
The Isley Brothers
3/5
This is an album that exists
The Byrds
3/5
Were a lot of people vibing with the Byrds? Here’s our one guitar tone we’re sticking to. Uh. Here’s the same song and mediocre production. I just don’t get it.
Soft Machine
2/5
If you like that sort of thing it’s the sort of thing you’d like. I have a pretty high tolerance for experimental bullshit. But Jesus is it intolerably long. It’s just jazz!!! Like I guess it’s rock because…there’s electric guitars? It’s jazz. And not particularly engaging or fun jazz at that
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
2/5
Fuck me, 7 in a year huh. I think my favorite part is that every Neil Young album is the exact same. You could tell me this was from that 1990 or that one on the beach and I’d buy it. No innovation. No evolution. Fuck off. 2 more to go.
The Specials
1/5
I would have preferred Less Specials
Sonic Youth
3/5
Sorta messy and fun. I think the problem with something so noisy is it’s hard to find a melody that’s memorable. I LIKE a lot of the songs on this but none of them really hooked me.
Radiohead
4/5
When this album is good it’s excellent. Can easily see why it’s so highly regarded. BUT, the boring low points are such a slog.
Pixies
5/5
One of the greatest albums of all time. Just an unbelievable mix of nasty experimental noise, funky riffs, beautiful poppy tunes. At times it’s terrifying, other times playful and inviting. And at all times it’s engaging, exciting, interesting. I really can’t heap enough praise on it. It really takes their previous work and hones and perfects it. If Surfer Rosa is a 10/10, Doolittle might as well be 11
Jethro Tull
4/5
If anything it needs more flute
Mariah Carey
2/5
All popular music from this time period sounds like shit. It’s the production and instrumentation. It just sounds dated and awful. Voice is generally nice
Willie Nelson
4/5
Serge Gainsbourg
1/5
What a triumph. An album that made me feel so gross I had to stop listening. Marvel at the experience of being in some French pervert’s tonsils. Be upset as you remember your French numbers and hear quinze and yep, this is just straight up an album about being a pedo.
I like to imagine the brain trust that came up with this list sitting around asking what to put on the list. “We can’t put another shitty 90s British album on here” and some guy in the back goes, “Zut alors! How could we forget the French pedophile album!” And the room claps because this counts as one of the 1% of international albums.
Buddy Holly & The Crickets
3/5
Kate Bush
5/5
There’s a reason Running Up That Hill managed to be a hit again in the 2010s, it sounds so good. Kate Bush has such a crazy good voice.
Stevie Wonder
4/5
Miles Davis
4/5
Ya like jazz?
The Sugarcubes
1/5
Something about this just made me hate it. I think it was on Motorcrash when my jaw literally dropped because I was baffled at what the hell I was listening to. This album is the most European album I’ve ever heard. It’s more European than albums on this list that are sung in French. It’s so bad. I hate it. I don’t know why.
MGMT
5/5
I remember 2007. It fucking sucked. It was such a terrible year. The recession kicked off, everyone was miserable. The good feelings of the end of history were once and for all dead and buried. Look at a list of cultural products from 2007. There’s basically nothing there. It’s like Ratatouille and that’s it. And Jesus like 300 and Transformers are hideously dated nightmares reflective of the time. Ugly stupid movies. And music? Rock is dead at this point. You’ve got what? Kings of Leon? An okay Arctic Monkeys album? Hip hop was in the dirty south doldrums, with dime a dozen acts all chasing to be the next flash in the pan ringtone artist.
And then there’s this album I’ve literally never listened to until today. And this is very clearly a cultural hinge point. This is the moment when the Bush era ends and we go to something new. It’s an album of fear and ennui and a desire for something new and better. It’s a call to action with no motivation. It’s the sound of youth in revolt that can’t find its way out the door. A burgeoning movement. The sound of burgeoning social media and the step towards an all encompassing tech culture. It’s indie pop without the pretension. Every album released after this has this one’s DNA in it.
The Divine Comedy
5/5
Sorry everyone, I love this so much. I’m the exact kind of sappy romantic this was meant for. That line about the horse IS dumb that’s what makes it great. It’s so bombastic and over the top and dumb. It’s like falling in love. It’s wonderful
The Thrills
2/5
Hey guys what if we tried sounding like Pavement! Oh you mean like great instrumentals and rocking production and lyrics that are fun and interesting? No I mean we should sound like a terrible Pavement cover band that sings about other parts of California. And we should sound really cheap. And bad. Okay.
I think a good idea is if an album from the early 2000s is on this list that you’ve never heard of it’s a good bet you can just skip it they all sound the fucking same
Destiny's Child
2/5
Absolutely needs to be on this list. But uh. I basically agree 100% with the top review it’s weirdly inconsistent in its message. Be sexually liberated but only in the way we find acceptable. Be independent and strong and also DESPERATELY want a man. Parts of this album sound like a million bucks and then others sound like a teenagers first demo. Weird.
The Smashing Pumpkins
4/5
The highlights of this album really shine and are defining songs of the era. The deep cuts uhhhhhh are pretty middling. They all sound the same, same guitar tones, same lyrical ideas. Nothing really shines on them.
The Stooges
3/5
I like this more than their other record on here. This has the better hits and better production.
Kings of Leon
1/5
I hate this dudes voice so much
Red Hot Chili Peppers
4/5
Sometimes this album sounds really good, and other times it’s an absolute disaster. I tend to like it more than I dislike it though. It’s a 3.5 but a really good 3.5
Tom Waits
4/5
Happy Mondays
3/5
This sure is…fine.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
3/5
Every time I listen to an Elvis Costello album after armed forces I get my hopes up and then they come crashing down as the most boring songs ever play. Blegh
Black Sabbath
3/5
Jeez. This is fine, but I don’t need Black Sabbath singing white mans blues about baby mama drama.
Alice Cooper
3/5
Kind of unimpressed. It’s not bad but I also can’t remember anything outside the hits
Bruce Springsteen
3/5
Ah jeez. I really wanted to like this but it really is a dirge. None of these songs are fun or up lifting. It’s all bummers all the time. I don’t know when I’d ever listen to this. Atlantic City is the exception, and if more of the songs were like it this would be 5 stars. But I can only give it 3
Black Sabbath
5/5
One of the funniest album covers of all time. If it wasn’t for one of the most important albums of all time we’d all laugh at how dorky and 1970 it is. Anyway. It’s Black Sabbath. It’s awesome. There’s one hiccup and it’s barely that. This album rules
Rush
4/5
First half is a 5, second half is a 3. The best part is I don’t have to hear their baby brained political takes on this
The Black Crowes
3/5
This might be THE quintessential 3 star album. Nothing about it is bad. But nothing stands out either. It’s a consistent samey through line. There isn’t a highlight. There isn’t an embarrassing ditch. It’s truly the most average album I’ve heard on here
The Young Gods
3/5
This really doesn’t deserve to be one of the lowest rated albums on here.
The War On Drugs
2/5
Definitely not what I expected. This is like an indie tribute to a very specific type of 80s rock. I got a lot of 80s Bruce and Rod Stewart, but people nailed it with Don Henley. Here’s the problem, these songs are too long, and the singer is too mediocre to outshine those better songs. There’s a few highlights, but my god are they too long
Franz Ferdinand
4/5
Einstürzende Neubauten
3/5
YAY!!! The supposed worst album on here!!! I’ve been looking forward to this day! This is one of those times where I think an album that sounds bad to me personally but at least was made with vision and heart is WAAAY better than some generic shitty soft rock stuff. There’s actually some good stuff on here if you can get past it. It’s anxiety inducing and fuck man, I might get laid off from my job at any point and honestly this has been a better reflection of my feelings than any other music I’ve heard in a while.
Blondie
4/5
Soul II Soul
2/5
More like, Club Classics, there’s only one.
Oasis
3/5
Definitely Mediocre
Manic Street Preachers
3/5
I wish they were more manic
The Smiths
3/5
Every time the Smiths or Morrissey on this list I’m filled with dread and then every time I actually listen I’m like, oh okay this is actually totally fine. That said ladies after listening to Girlfriend in a Coma if he’s a Smiths fan? That’s a red flag
Big Black
4/5
Anytime a song on here literally makes my jaw drop it deserves massive acclaim. The sound on Passing Complexion baffles in. I don’t know how exactly they did it, all I know is I want someone to sample it in hip hop. I will dock one star if only because so many of the songs are trying WAY too hard to be edgy.
k.d. lang
4/5
Paul Simon
2/5
Paul Simon continues to baffle me. Why is a song set in New England accompanied by Peruvian flutes. Lots of Incan Pentecostals?
Also the Red Wings were notoriously shitty when this album was written so like. Hell of a hockey team? Buddy.
Girls Against Boys
2/5
Deadass thought this was Boys Like Girls when I pulled this. Anytime an artist has fewer than 50k listens on Spotify on this list you just know someone got a favor cashed in or something. Is this the authors roommate from college or something?
This is fine. Incredibly derivative. Kinda reminds me of Nine Inch Nails’ more boring songs. Why is this here.
SZA
3/5
This album sounds great, really listenable. But uh, SZA have you considered going for a dude who’s cool? I’m not saying the stupid why doesn’t she go for a nice guy thing, like. Just a guy who doesn’t cheat, or who has his life together. Or learn how not to catch feels when the dick is good. If I was SZA I would simply date a normal not shitty dude. Or go to therapy. That might help too.
Little Richard
4/5
This made me think of Mean Gene Okerlund and Predator and that’s pretty fuckin cool.
Frank Sinatra
3/5
Slipknot
4/5
This is way better than I thought it would but also my entire view of Slipknot was shaped by the dudes I knew in middle school who were all nice but also kinda scared me. I was not a cool kid. Anyway.
Kendrick Lamar
5/5
Every complaint I have about Good Kidd is not present on this. It’s unbelievable.
Kraftwerk
4/5
Damn talk about influential. Literally every motif that shows up in here reminds me of another electronic song or video game music or some kid uploading songs on SoundCloud. I just wish it was a little more vibrant? Exciting? Different? I dunno it’s lacking something.
Sabu
1/5
I always hate rating world albums low because what the fuck do I know, I’m a white dude from the Midwest. But I just can’t vibe with this. I hate the main dudes voice. I hate how it’s just a bunch of drums. Even the album on this list about bongos had more than just bongos man. I like Afro-Cuban by Kenny Dorham. That’s my weak defense. I’m sorry y’all
King Crimson
2/5
Gross another one of these. I really didn’t like in the Court. So fine. Let’s try again. You know you’re in for some prog bullshit when the first sound you hear on a rock album is a kalimba.
Nothing fucking works on the first song. None of the sections flow into each other. It’s just a series of disconnected ideas. What if we hit a bunch of metal and shit. It just sounds like a bunch of dudes fucking around in their garage. Hell the TITLE doesn’t even make sense. If I can give it praise it’s chaotic and a little disconcerting all over, but what does that have to do with a tiny birds tongue in Jello???? I feel like my biggest issue with prog rock is it’s not nearly weird enough to be interesting, but also not catchy enough to be listenable. And then the very end of the song sounds so good god damn it. It’s loud and strange and sounds amazing.
Then, a lot like in the Court, the rest of the songs are just…here’s some soft rock. Okay I actually really like Book of Saturday.
Easy Money is a baffling decision. “Guys I just stepped in some mud outside how can we incorporate that sound?”
Rahul Dev Burman
4/5
Hey! This was pretty nice. Again wouldn’t mind hearing more world music but hey, gotta make room for TWO BETA BAND ALBUMS
Elvis Presley
3/5
When Elvis belts on this it’s awesome. His voice really sounds great on here. When he’s mad and miserable sounding it’s fantastic. The problem is all the other bland typical crooner stuff
Echo And The Bunnymen
4/5
Baffled they have 3 albums. And I really like Ocean Rain. This is more of the same, just a little less bombastic. As far as New Wave goes you can do so, SO much worse.
JAY Z
1/5
The cool part about this project is learning about artists I never gave a fair shake. In this case, all I knew from Jay-Z was Empire Stare of Mind. Now I know. Jay-Z fucking sucks. The beats are so boring. His rapping is awful. That tired often wrong critique that rapping is just talking actually fucking applies here. There’s no flow. It’s so boring. Shut up.
Songhoy Blues
4/5
Anytime an album explores how another culture blends their traditional sound with a modern western genre I’m all for it. It always fuckin rules
Steely Dan
4/5
This is my 3rd Steely Dan on the list. I think I feel bad for them because every album so far has had some of the greatest songs I’ve heard in the list mixed with stuff I just couldn’t vibe with. Deacon Blues is still in the top 10 of songs I’ve discovered this project. This album is a little different. I knew Rikki already but other than that song nothing on this album really stands out as something I’d want to listen to over and over again. But it’s also the most consistent listen of there’s I’ve heard
The Chemical Brothers
3/5
This is good for the electronica that’s on this list but it manages to over correct, so instead of being boring and tedious it’s exhausting and tedious.
The Icarus Line
1/5
Ugh. UGH. The worst thing about the advent of CDs is bands being like, well we gotta make hour long bore fests instead of tight cohesive albums. This sucks. It sounds like 5 other better bands.
John Lee Hooker
2/5
Fuck me this sounds awful. You can pinpoint the exact year this was made just by the overbearing production. I have no idea what those vaguely Peruvian flute sounding instruments are but that’s how you know you’re in the late 80s early 90s adult contemporary production hell. And the blues needs that sound like how a grease fire needs a gallon of water. It just makes everything worse.
Anyways, every song on here is a collab. It’s all bad. I hate this.
Earth, Wind & Fire
4/5
I know Shining Star and September. I also know September will not be appearing since fun fact it was only ever a single and never on an album.
Wire
4/5
Paul McCartney
2/5
Having absolutely no attachment to the Beatles or Paul this album is hilarious. THIS is what he wanted to do instead of the Beatles? He couldn’t talk to John and be like okay we can do some political stuff if you’ll let me do my not very good nursery rhymes. Okay
Robert Wyatt
2/5
I wish this album was worse because then my review could be, Rock Bottom? It certainly is. Instead it’s just bad. It’s interesting and I could see how it might be someone’s cup of tea. It sure ain’t mine though
Carole King
3/5
I really wanna like this more than I do. It’s iconic and important but it’s just missing something. It reminds me of the worst of the 70s. Nothing speaks to me.
Paul Weller
3/5
The shocking part is I’d never in a million years guess this was the guy from the Jam. Other than that this is so generic. It’s inoffensive and occasionally something comes up that shines but. Nah. Nothing doing in this
Ladysmith Black Mambazo
4/5
5/5
Really an excellent concept album. There are a few low spots but that’s just because the rest of the album is so good. Loved it.
Bruce Springsteen
5/5
I got this album when I was on a road trip through south Jersey. Guess what. 5 stars
The Monkees
3/5
People who dislike the Monkees for reasons other than “it just isn’t for me” are so fucking lame. Waaah it’s too poppy or any variation of DID YOU KNOW THEY’RE NOT THE BEATLES??????
Have you ever experienced joy? Do you know what love is? On a summer Thursday do you stop and listen to birds sing, and realize you’ve never learned their names, simply because you were too busy with life to stop and realize all around you, the world moves on, and doesn’t care about you. Or your fucking tired shitty Monkees ta mi e, the Monkees rule. Fuck you.
Travis
2/5
If the only song I know from you is a horrifically boring and sad dirge it doesn’t bode well for the album as a whole
John Lennon
1/5
Jealous Guy might be the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been listening to a song in here.
Fela Kuti
5/5
Few things can be political and also feel and sound so fun.
Adele
2/5
It sounds better than 21. But it suffers from being so…boring. It’s an album that explores the same concept over and over and just falls flat every time.
Black Sabbath
3/5
Another Black Sabbath album. Another album that I think is fine.
Beatles
4/5
I never know how the fuck to rate Beatles albums. On one had there’s some absolute classics on here. But then like, the songs I don’t know as much are so forgettable and mid, and I feel like they don’t live up to the standard set by the others. But is that because of cultural os osmosis and being exposed to them since I was a baby? I don’t know.
Finley Quaye
1/5
The Blue Nile
2/5
I already forgot this
Weather Report
4/5
Parts of this are unbelievably fun and funky, other parts are real lame and cheesy. A real fine balance was to be had in the 1970s
Ali Farka Touré
3/5
The The
2/5
1986 is too late for this shit man. And the album cover is hideous to look at. What are we doing.
The Damned
5/5
This is just a pure fun punk album. You can tell this band is cool just based on their picture on Spotify. They don’t take themselves seriously despite being really great.
Merle Haggard
3/5
Some of you people piss me off. “It’s country automatic one star.” Dumb. Imagine having no curiosity. You’re one of the privileged few beings who has been capable of rational thought and exploring the depths of the universe. You can learn and experience so much but your vision is clouded because you’re classist or just a stupid incurious dumbass. Fuck you.
Anyway, this albums not that great. It sort of just hangs around in the background, there’s not a lot of great imagery, mostly just classic outlaw and heartbreak songs. You could do worse but you could do way way better.
Drive-By Truckers
2/5
Eugh. This isn’t good. It’s admirable, in a way, I think I like a lot of the ideas just not the execution. Hoo boy the execution. It really sounds like an amalgamation of every southern rock group without any of the edges. It’s also 90 fucking minutes long.
Goldfrapp
3/5
Much like their first album, this is nice, and I think there’s a place for this music. I’m just so rarely in the headspace for this airy dreamy music. Especially when it isn’t really innovative in its soundscape.
Gorillaz
4/5
This is really good, its biggest problem is it’s not as good as the albums that would come after it.
Brian Eno
4/5
The best thing this project has done is help me discover Brian Eno, holy shit this dude is great
Simple Minds
3/5
New wave 80s sound that never does anything unique with it
Gram Parsons
4/5
Man this is really good. Emmylou not being credited is fucked up. I wish it had a few more bangers, I think that’s what’s holding it back from being a 5
Tori Amos
4/5
One of those albums that I could see becoming 5 stars at another point in my life. It’s bombastic and beautiful. Winter is one of my favorite songs I’ve heard in this list. But it’s missing something to drag it over the top
Flamin' Groovies
4/5
Could you imagine if this album was half as long. Just the best bits? It would be an all time classic! But instead it’s really good but bloated.
Peter Gabriel
3/5
I think I like Peter Gabriel in theory a lot more than in practice. Salisbury Hill is the smash on here deservedly so
The Who
5/5
This is the best Who album and everyone who hates the jingles has never had joy in their lives
The Beach Boys
5/5
God Mike Love sucks
Cornershop
3/5
Starts unbelievably great and descends into a spiral of nothing much
Ozomatli
2/5
Baffling and not in a good way. The second track could just be a song by a Latin boy band. It stinks!
The Sonics
3/5
I feel like 60s garage rock would best be served on a list like this with a greatest hits compilation. Just get it over with. This is done, but it’s the same thing throughout. Revolutionary in a sense, but also boring
Jimi Hendrix
4/5
It’s a technical masterpiece I just wished I enjoyed listening to it more than I do. There are a lot of lulls in this thing that just make it less than it should be
Beatles
5/5
C’mon
Donovan
3/5
That sure is an album from the 60s. The songs I liked from it I knew because of covers that I think are better than the originals.
The Go-Go's
5/5
Shocked at how good this is. Just a solid pop punk album. New Wave condensed and perfected here
Roni Size
1/5
Nah
PJ Harvey
3/5
PJ Harvey has managed something on this album I’ve never felt before. I like is all the songs sound, Steve Albini is great as is PJ’s voice. But uh. I don’t remember any of those songs. I don’t actually like any of the songs on this album. None of them have a hook. They just sort of exist in this nice sounding cloud of anger.
Manic Street Preachers
4/5
Sort of a tricky one I have mixed feelings on. It sounds great in a lot of places. It also sounds kinda generic? But there’s an undercurrent of rage that bubbles under the surface but never seems to take over
Big Star
3/5
I own this album and I don’t know that I’ve ever sat and listened to it in full which is usually a bad sign. It’s an album of infinite potential and limited execution. I think it was the cover of Femme Fatale that really sealed it for me. All I wanted to do was listen to the original. A real damning indictment for a cover
Van Morrison
1/5
Fucking hell. Even on the best day Van Morrison feels like a novelty act to me. That dreadful voice, just a mumbling nightmare of an artist. Inarticulate and annoying. Here an hour and a half asshole. No thank you
Little Simz
4/5
Leftfield
2/5
What if we made a dance album but we didn’t make it fun
The Kinks
3/5
Kinda sorta disappointing. The Kinks are really good this album just feels really samey throughout.
Ride
5/5
Wowza, I loved this so much. It sounds amazing, the drums on this album are superb. Parts of this album feel comforting, others feel terrifying, a weighted blanket that suffocates. Unreal.
The United States Of America
3/5
I kind of wish it was weirder, like this album really could have benefited from some Frank Zappa vocals. I think it’s a thing where the whole is greater than the sum of its part, but a lot of the parts fucking suck. The drummer is just bad. I can’t tell if his drums just sound bad or if he’s not technically skilled.
Also Garden of Earthly Delight is such a great example of a shitty ass 1960s song. Like it’s the best song on the album, but SOMEONE went to art school and needs to flex their nerd knowledge. Ergot, lemonous, choleric, and carrion are all words that don’t need to be in the same song you dork.
Anyway, this is fine. Every now and then they do something I enjoy.
Alexander 'Skip' Spence
2/5
Skip kinda looks like a D tier Dana Carvey character no one remembers from SNL.
You ever flip through records at a record store, and you see all the familiar faces, and then you hit a record you’ve never seen before, and it always looks and sounds like this one. It even smells. I can smell the mildew that developed in this record because no one played it. Because it sucks.
The Divine Comedy
3/5
This album has a really big problem. Which is that he keeps talking and it sucks. It’s like a bad hip hop skit that keeps interrupting an otherwise good album. Except this album is only okay. Which is a bummer since I liked the other album of his I got on this list
The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
2/5
Kind of agree with the consensus here, it’s annoying and amazing in equal parts. I think I can tolerate annoying a lot more than most though.
Belle & Sebastian
5/5
One of my dumbest life choices has been failing to listen to Belle and Sebastian more before this
Jefferson Airplane
3/5
The whiplash you get from two of the best opening tracks on this list to My Best Friend, a song that’s uhhhhh awful is pretty amazing.
A real, guys let’s take it down a few notches, I want people to hear our sensitive side! And the sensitive side sucks ass, Jesus.
Frankie Goes To Hollywood
3/5
Sometimes this album sounds like a showcase of what New Wave can be. Other times they cover Born to Run for no good reason
Animal Collective
4/5
This is one of those albums I’ve always seen and knew existed but have never listened to. It’s good. It’s definitely important because I can point to about a dozen bands that don’t exist without being influenced by this.
Nitin Sawhney
4/5
Hey man, I’ve really shit on a lot of the electronica on here, so when I say I liked this? I dunno what to tell you. I dunno why. It sounded nice. It had a semblance of a message and a point t which is pretty fucking ground breaking for the genre. Idk I liked it.
SAULT
4/5
Nothing baffles me more than the sheer number of people who wanted to explore 1000 albums across all genres but are also like RACE DIDNT MATTER 15 YEARS AGO, YOU CANT BE WHITE ANYMORE. As if there isn’t a Gil-Scott Heron album on here, as if Common’s Be doesn’t literally start with him wishing to be like Malcom X. It’s almost like the history of music explored in this FUCKING PROJECT disputes the points you make, and you and everyone who upvoted you are just fucking racists who wish this was whiter than wonder bread and never made you uncomfortable.
Anyway. This album is good. It’s a fun listen, I just don’t know that it has a staying power to be an all time great. I think in the nightmare year that was 2020 this album was comforting and affirming, but I wish the music was more bombastic.
Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
4/5
Sort of a tricky one and one of the difficulties (and joys!) of exploring world music. This music exists entirely in a context that is foreign to me. Sufi devotional music? In a language I can’t even pretend to begin to comprehend? Oof.
So what I like is that, I could probably tell this is devotional music if I went into this blind, there is a joy radiating the whole thing, and Khan has an amazing voice, he really has some amazing solo parts where he’s clearly flexing, it’s great.
The Smiths
3/5
I’ve had several dalliances with Morrisey on this list and I always dread them. And the. I listen and come away thinking this is fine. The same thing happened here, I just wish it sounded a little better? Something about this album wasn’t as good as the others. I think it’s too much of a bummer?
The Cramps
3/5
I liked the covers which is uhhhh, not a good sign. This is one of the most ok punk albums. It’s like they chose the most ok sound every time. They tell jokes that aren’t funny. It mostly songs ok.
Ali Farka Touré
3/5
I mean. It’s nice?
The Birthday Party
4/5
I’m glad Rat Fink could show up. I like this. Not ironically I actually legitimately like this. It’s messy and chaotic but it’s still clearly done with musicality. Like Dead Joe, that song rules, it also has the most Nick Cave ass section where he starts talking about Christmas halfway through.
Thundercat
5/5
Cowards hear the bass on Uh Uh and declare this music is too weird and off putting despite that being the tightest shit I’ve ever heard.
Tom Waits
4/5
Tom Waits manages to sound horrible and amazing in ways I’ll never comprehend.
Cream
4/5
This album suffers from what a lot of classic 60s albums suffer from. The hits are the best part and the other tracks are basically the same boring psych rock. This album benefits by having those hits be fucking awesome. Tales of Brave Ulysses might be a perfect song
Neil Young
4/5
*sigh* Hi Neil…nice to see you for like the ninth time. I guess. I actually know some songs off of this and they’re good. So this ranks higher than a lot of your other albums. But like. Damn imagine if it was just this album and let’s go with your weird proto -grunge one that’s all. Fuck you know maybe the one you did in the 90s with Harvest Moon. That’s it! That’s all we needed! AHHHHHHH
3/5
Was that Wikipedia intro written by AI, what the fuck kind of editorializing are we doing about São Paulo. Anyway, this is interesting on paper, boring in practice.
Ghostface Killah
3/5
Pretty good hip hop album, especially the beats and music. Ghostface is a pretty good MC just. Just doesn’t really have a lasting impact? And the topics are pretty generic and boring. Tricky to rate
Miles Davis
5/5
A jazz album is good when the songs capture you. It’s iconic when you literally know the songs already without having knowingly listened to it before
2/5
One of the big albums I’ve never listened to on this list.
Blegh. It’s like if you had a boring Irish Bruce Springsteen who sucked
Baaba Maal
3/5
Faust
4/5
Bigger fan of the instrumentals on this than I am the parts with vocals. But the whole thing is really fun to listen to.
Eurythmics
3/5
Certainly more upbeat and fun than a lot of other New Wave of the time. And occasionally the songs punch above their weight almost entirely because of Annie Lennox’s voice. But on the whole it does little to stick with me.
LL Cool J
4/5
I have no idea why I like this so much lol
Missy Elliott
3/5
Real improvement over the last album. Work It being the obvious stand out, but this album just sounds so much smoother and nicer
Nine Inch Nails
4/5
Teenage Fanclub
3/5
This uh…this could have been so much better. I think it suffers from the band not really having a consistent sound? At the start it was pretty hard and then the middle just drags into generic alt rock that was about to sound VERY dated in 1991. Not bad, very forgettable
Dusty Springfield
3/5
Hey British listening public of 1964, there’s a lot of new amazing music from America, but the problem it’s mostly by black people, so we found this random white woman with a great voice to sing them for you so you’re not TERRIFIED. It’s fine. But like. Just listen to the originals?
The Temptations
3/5
Sometimes it sounds like exactly what it is, the evolution of Motown to funk. But then it just doesn’t live up to that lofty reputation. Why is this the least soulful version of Grapevine I’ve heard?
Van Morrison
4/5
Heartbreaking, a total asshole made a really amazing and beautiful album, or: Music to Get COVID to
Cypress Hill
3/5
Oh 90s hip hop, for every banger you make I also have to wade through macho posturing and homophobia.
Talking Heads
5/5
Duh
Orbital
2/5
You ever play Lumines? This is like if Lumines music was boring.
ABBA
4/5
This is good but not as great as Arrival. ABBA is best when they kinda suck but you don’t care because they are just spitting out bops
The Police
3/5
Manages to peak early and sort of becomes this boring slow burn after. Not bad, not as good as Synchronicity.
Björk
3/5
I respect Bjork a lot but her music just doesn’t move me. This is just a dirge I can’t abide by.
Gang Of Four
4/5
Kind of a baffling album because I really love it but I definitely don’t think I need to listen to it again? I can hear the influence on so many bands I love. But there’s something so overbearing and crushing in this. Natural’s Not In It? I love that song. I don’t know if I want to listen to it again though. I have really mixed feelings. 4 stars why not
Billy Bragg
5/5
This was essentially tailor made for me to enjoy it
The Beach Boys
4/5
Every time I listen to this album I don’t get the hype. It’s very good. It’s also kind of annoying at times and really doesn’t FEEL earth shattering.
Marianne Faithfull
2/5
Ahhh jeez. An album that feels like it’s on here because of the tragic story rather than the actual quality of the album.
Willie Nelson
4/5
Aww, this is a really sweet little album. It’s only flaw and it’s not much of one is I’ve heard better covers of some of the songs. But that’s unfair
The Young Rascals
3/5
Just about as close to generic as you can get. There's a few good parts, but its like the Monkees without the charm or the Beatles without the talent.
Super Furry Animals
3/5
How come you can never find just the original album release anymore. Why is the a 2 part multi hour remaster. Who asked for that. I want coffee flavored coffee.
Anyway. This is…interesting. It reminds me of Flaming Lips. Which is a bad thing for my personal taste. It never sounds bad but it never hooks me.
The xx
3/5
Perfectly pleasant listen. Never really reaches a grand peak.
TV On The Radio
4/5
Tricky album. At times it felt like a 5 star and then a song like Red Dress slaps that hope away by being kinda shit
The National
3/5
This is such an okay album. It’s a nice indie album but like. That’s it. It feels like any of these songs could have been in a commercial or an AMC show you forgot existed
Def Leppard
1/5
I basically had 1 star in mind when I pulled this. I hated Def Leppard as a kid. To me they were so boring, just a slog of a band in a genre that’s supposed to be fun and stupid. Having listened to it now as an adult….
It fucking sucks. Okay the only positive is the production is excellent. Other than that how can anyone like this crap. The hair metal ballad might be the worst type of song in existence.
The Jesus And Mary Chain
5/5
This album is so fucking good oh my god! It turns out all you need to make the dime a dozen melancholy rock of the 80s sound unbelievable is to add ungodly amounts of distortion. Some real genuinely beautiful music on here. Really looking forward to their other album on this list.
Dizzee Rascal
1/5
Oh no
Common
3/5
Dr. Dre
3/5
Um! It's fine. Nuthin but a G Thang is the stand out track for a reason. And also Snoop Dog. He's the best part be leaps and bounds.
George Jones
3/5
Totally serviceable country album
The Gun Club
3/5
I think their follow up Miami is a better album, it’s much more accessible in a way that I enjoy. This album is pretty good too though!
Suede
3/5
Hey guess what? I like this. It’s certainly in that British Pop genre that is a real mixed bag of stuff, but I think this time I enjoy this album, particularly the instrumental parts. It does kinda shit the bed in the second half becoming a vastly boring soft rock album
Antony and the Johnsons
4/5
Never heard of this before which is always shocking whenever I look at a post 2000 album. Ugh imagine deadnaming yourself for all time on your own album. Anywho. This album is pretty great! It sounds pretty and touches on topics and perspectives that really don’t get talked about in music, certainly not in 2005. I think I agree with the consensus that sometimes her vocals are a little over the top they distract from the rest of the music. But overall it’s very good.
Snoop Dogg
4/5
This album cover is so funny. I like the rat. Uh it’s good! Especially the beats! Everyone is right though about the lyrics. W BALZ was pretty good too.
Buena Vista Social Club
4/5
Ice Cube
4/5
The first half is unbelievable, it’s hard hitting and exhausting and poignant. The second half is a lot less impactful and some of the tracks don’t say much, sort of rely on tropes that haven’t aged well.
Can
3/5
Sure, it’s fine. Nothing bad but I’m not sure I get it?
Madonna
2/5
This album is a real time capsule of the late 90s pop soundscape. That’s DEVASTATING because it sounds terrible. Overproduced, muddy, but worse the songs themselves are just boring disasters.
Donald Fagen
3/5
Really shows off how good Steely Dan is because this just feels like a half formed album
Os Mutantes
4/5
Oh fuck yes, Tropicalia is one of those genres that more people desperately need to know about. In terms of world music it’s probably one of the most accessible to an American ear other than like, Italo-disco or K-pop or what ever. Caetano Veloso has an album on here also, but if you dig this album I HIGHLY recommend Gilberto Gil’s 1968 album, for me it’s the peak of this genre.
Elastica
5/5
Nothing better than seeing if the people mad about them plagiarizing also love Led Zeppelin. Beautiful.
I like this album a lot it’s fun! It reminds me of Hole more than anything.
Elliott Smith
2/5
I don’t think I get Elliot Smith. Like I get this is supposed to be a sad album. But it doesn’t really move me in any way. It’s just kinda boring. And his singing doesn’t inspire any emotion in me.
Jamiroquai
4/5
It’s a damn good rip off of 70s funk
Aimee Mann
3/5
At times this was really nice and felt like a hidden gems. At other times it just sort of sounded generic and uninteresting
Korn
1/5
Hey, you know what aged really poorly? That song where Fred Durst and Korn Man insult each other
Talking Heads
5/5
Wow, another banger by the Talking Heads! Who’d have thought.
Sepultura
3/5
Interesting concept, botched execution. I really liked the other Sepultura album on here because it was a refined thrash album. Almost as smart as that can get. This is sort of like that but for nu metal. Problem. Nu metal is not meant to be smart or high concept. It will always kind of suck. And it works best the more it fucking sucks. So that leaves this album in this sort of limbo where I want to praise its risks but also ask why this direction. Bummer.
Doves
2/5
Yeah whatever
Massive Attack
2/5
Massive attack of diarrhea more like
Terence Trent D'Arby
5/5
I went into this thinking it would be 1 star and instead this is one of the best albums I’ve heard on this entire list. This album is incredible pop music. You really need a tolerance for that late 80s sound but this is close to perfection
Steely Dan
4/5
God Steely Dan. I think this is my last dalliance with them this project. I started it with them. They’re delightful every time. And this album is no exception. It’s funny, tight, great. Again it’s sort of like all their albums where some of the tracks just fade into the background.
Waylon Jennings
5/5
This is a damn good album. The title track and Omaha aren’t just good country songs, they’re good songs in general. Also it’s an album that doesn’t out stay its welcome. Good stuff.
Super Furry Animals
4/5
Rules right off the gate and is super weird in a good way and then it trips all over its feet in the back half. Gotta say as far as 1990s Brit pop on the list this one actually feels like it deserves a place
Joni Mitchell
3/5
The second song sounded really cool but it also reminded me of how much Joni Mitchell loves doing black face. So you know. It’s complicated.
The Rolling Stones
2/5
Mother’s Little Helper is so good and the rest of the album is so…fine. And then there’s an 11 minute blues disaster that sucks and I just hate this album. It avoids the 1 star for a few bangers and that’s it.
CHVRCHES
5/5
So pissed I never listened to this before. It’s so good. It manages to presage a lot of the synth pop that’s really become mainstream nowadays
Christine and the Queens
3/5
Sort of a baffling choice. I feel that about almost every post 2015 album. I think that’s the benefit of hindsight. This makes sense maybe as an album that’s emblematic of the more retro pop sound that was and still is popular? But I can’t say this album does it in a way that’s exceptional
David Ackles
1/5
I’m gonna wind up loving this aren’t I. LOL NO WOW THIS IS HILARIOUS THIS SUCKS. This joins the ranks of so bad it’s good albums on here which are rare but I do love them. Fuck me.
The Monks
5/5
Such an innovative forward looking album that also manages to sound nice.
5/5
C’mon man
Derek & The Dominos
3/5
It’s horribly bloated. But it’s also pretty good which is annoying. Eric Clapton does have a load of talent. It’s a shame he’s so fucking annoying and stupid
Doves
1/5
Why the fuck are there two Doves albums on here. A band I’ve literally never heard anyone talk about. Generic shit. Dime a dozen generic shit. Music to fade out to.
Morrissey
2/5
Finally…my last Morrissey album. More of the same. It really begs the question, why are there so many albums of his when every album feels the same?
Big Brother & The Holding Company
4/5
Pretty great honestly. Suffers from some of the same quirks I don’t like about most 60s rock. Looking at you not very good blues song
Japan
3/5
Sort of cool in that it sounds so ahead of its time. But hey is there no Yellow Magic Orchestra on here? Or any Japanese music for that matter? Hmmm
Genesis
3/5
All rock operas live and die by their premise. Does the story make sense in the context of an album? This one…kinda? I can see what they’re going for but at the same time I kind of lose the plot every few minutes and have to remember that might be the point. The other trouble is it’s just so long without that much variation. Occasionally a weird effect happens and it’s actually really welcome. I think I like this more than I don’t? But not by much.
Mike Oldfield
4/5
Who would hate this it’s hilarious. A wild ride between the familiar and the crazy. I loved it
The Pogues
4/5
I really like this album but I don’t love it. I think the biggest issue is the fucking singer on Jesse James and Gentleman Soldier.
Can
2/5
I’ll be honest I just don’t have the patience for this genre of music. Experimental but not in an annoying or weird way. This is experimental because no one did it before. Because it seems like a bad idea. And it is.
The Cult
4/5
The nice thing about an album that knows it’s stupid is you can’t really be mad about how stupid it is. This is a stupid album. It’s also really great. Bad Fun is outstanding. I think one reason I like the Cult is they sound a lot like the early to mid 2000s garage revival which wasn’t very good but was the defining sound of my childhood. This is like that but much better. And dumber.
Ray Price
3/5
I remember listening to this but I also can’t remember any specifics. It was fine enough
Deep Purple
4/5
It’s pretty good! Just doesn’t reach the awesome heights they do later with their hits.
Fairport Convention
4/5
Tfw the couple at the Ren Faire comes over and says they like your style.