408
Albums Rated
2.64
Average Rating
37%
Complete
681 albums remaining
Rating Distribution
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Rating Timeline
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Taste Profile
1970s
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Rater Style ?
30
5-Star Albums
52
1-Star Albums
Taste Analysis
Genre Preferences
Ratings by genre
Origin Preferences
Ratings by country
Rating Style
You Love More Than Most
Albums you rated higher than global average
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| The Madcap Laughs | 5 | 2.62 | +2.38 |
| Scott 2 | 5 | 2.64 | +2.36 |
| Lam Toro | 5 | 2.72 | +2.28 |
| A Little Deeper | 5 | 2.81 | +2.19 |
| A Walk Across The Rooftops | 5 | 2.86 | +2.14 |
| The Libertines | 5 | 3 | +2 |
| Before And After Science | 5 | 3.09 | +1.91 |
| Tank Battles | 4 | 2.12 | +1.88 |
| Songs From A Room | 5 | 3.16 | +1.84 |
| Dear Science | 5 | 3.16 | +1.84 |
You Love Less Than Most
Albums you rated lower than global average
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| The Dark Side Of The Moon | 1 | 4.43 | -3.43 |
| The Bends | 1 | 4.01 | -3.01 |
| Disintegration | 1 | 3.85 | -2.85 |
| Doolittle | 1 | 3.74 | -2.74 |
| Brothers In Arms | 1 | 3.74 | -2.74 |
| Kid A | 1 | 3.71 | -2.71 |
| Violator | 1 | 3.7 | -2.7 |
| Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness | 1 | 3.68 | -2.68 |
| The Queen Is Dead | 1 | 3.66 | -2.66 |
| The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan | 1 | 3.63 | -2.63 |
Artist Analysis
Favorite Artists
Artists with 2+ albums
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Leonard Cohen | 4 | 4.75 |
| Bruce Springsteen | 2 | 5 |
Least Favorite Artists
Artists with 2+ albums
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Radiohead | 4 | 1.25 |
| Bob Dylan | 3 | 1 |
| Pixies | 2 | 1.5 |
| The Cure | 2 | 1.5 |
| Amy Winehouse | 2 | 1.5 |
| The Smiths | 2 | 1.5 |
| Tom Waits | 2 | 1.5 |
| The Smashing Pumpkins | 2 | 1.5 |
| Steely Dan | 3 | 2 |
| Led Zeppelin | 3 | 2 |
| David Bowie | 4 | 2.25 |
Controversial Artists
Artists you rate inconsistently
| Artist | Ratings |
|---|---|
| Pink Floyd | 1, 4 |
5-Star Albums (30)
View Album Wall
Popular Reviews
Sufjan Stevens
2/5
Musically fine. I don’t want to spend any more moments with this man’s words.
3 likes
Bon Jovi
2/5
An over-excitable producer paired with the symbol of generic Mum rock unite to mildly irritate us all.
1 likes
The Black Keys
2/5
A strong opening four seconds. After that? Crap consisting of painful falsetto and lyrics which were exhausted even as they were being written. It’s not even shit. It’s nothing. Somewhere, somebody should be embarrassed about this.
1 likes
Alanis Morissette
3/5
Like the music but not the vocal nor lyrics. A microcosm of the 90s I guess.
1 likes
Sex Pistols
2/5
This reminds me of everyone’s youth. Brilliant but terrible. Ruined by knowing the manufacture and what became of Lydon. Some of the lyrics too are the same depressing misogyny which seems to be unfortunately found on more of these albums than you’d wish. Also - is there anything more English than stealing a joke from Shakespeare and claiming it counterculture?
1 likes
1-Star Albums (52)
All Ratings
Janis Joplin
4/5
What a voice. What a passion.
Bob Dylan
1/5
A lot of these lyrics are really fucking off putting and creepy/egotistical at best. The delivery is one of the most irritating things ever put to record. I retain as a child and don’t get Dylan at /all/. What a fucking slog persisting with this this was. Absolutely dreading him coming up again.
Eagles
2/5
Modern definition of MOR. Fine. Gentle. Became more sickly as it went on. This is ok. I never need to listen to it again. Was a single good lyric though; even if it was only so good taken into another context.
Cat Stevens
2/5
Kinda reminiscent of McFly, particularly Tom Fletcher’s solo written work. A couple songs - the ones I had hear before - stood out but the rest was kinda eh. I can see myself tolerating this if someone else put it on but it’s not something I would ever reach for myself. 2.5 I guess.
Elvis Costello
4/5
Similar of the Springsteen of the same era. First one I’ve listened to more than once - and returned the next day to boot. Love this.
Drive-By Truckers
4/5
Wow. I don’t know if I like it, but I am damn impressed by it. Can’t believe more don’t talk about this one. Don’t know if I’m gonna listen again but I’m so glad I did.
Lou Reed
2/5
Man knows how to cultivate an atmosphere. … the same self gratification and ego as Dylan as it goes on though, everything about him … I do not like Lou Reed.
Tracy Chapman
5/5
Christ her voice is so beautiful. Glad to finally be made to sit down and listen to more from her than Fast Car - that being the second track feels so bold and so understated in her brilliance. I gotta do more things more, man.
Miles Davis
2/5
I didn’t even notice when it finished and started playing another song by another artist. I’m sure it’s great but it’s just background music to me.
Frank Sinatra
3/5
Nice to wash over you. Good background music.
The Beach Boys
2/5
I really wanted to like this. But yikes.
Syd Barrett
5/5
This is what they mean when they scream ‘inject it into my veins.’ This guitar tone is fucking enticing. Had to go back and immediately listen to the first song again. Can’t get enough.
Depeche Mode
1/5
My instant thought, 2 seconds in, was ‘no’. That thought remained throughout. Couldn’t wait for it to end.
The Who
4/5
Enjoyed but suspect it’s a bad introduction; familiarity with original arrangements probably makes up most of the impact here.
Jane's Addiction
1/5
Now I understand what old people mean when they say some music is merely ‘noise’.
1/5
Funky; impressive. Not for me.
Johnny Cash
5/5
He truly was a master.
The Black Crowes
2/5
Generic American: the album.
Willie Nelson
2/5
Interesting arrangements but not for me.
Eels
2/5
Different but fairly juvenile. Like Catcher in the Rye, what I would have fallen in love with if younger is just irritating.
Miriam Makeba
3/5
Oscillated on this one. Ultimately can’t see myself listening again, though I do feel it’s important this is out there.
The xx
4/5
Good walking-on-a-cold-morning music.
Pixies
1/5
I liked it less as it went on.
The Cure
1/5
It’s the cure. It’s distinctively 80s.
3/5
Sung through a sneer. I would like this with another vocalist. Coxon is, and always has been, far too good for this band.
Leonard Cohen
5/5
Fuckin’ wonderful.
Hugh Masekela
3/5
The closest I have ever come to liking jazz.
Lynyrd Skynyrd
2/5
Better than I expected. Wouldn’t mind someone else putting this on, but wouldn’t reach for it myself.
Coldplay
3/5
Music is much better than I gave it credit for when you separate and listen. Shame Chris Martin is so fucking wet.
Pixies
2/5
Unlike Doolittle (which got worse as it went on), this got better as it went on. Still not for me though.
Devendra Banhart
1/5
What an unpleasant vocal performance.
Joy Division
5/5
So fucking good at so fucking young.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
1/5
Well. Distinctive, at least. … there’s like 30 good seconds on this album. Max. We all know what they are. Rest of this is absolute genuine torture.
Oasis
4/5
What can you say? Some of the theft is painful. But elsewhere the shine is truly through. Not sure it’s consistent though, but damn deserves 4 for the songs I’ll sing my children.
Destiny's Child
1/5
Each individual song is SO REPETITIVE. It really takes away from the good parts. ‘I’m not gon’ compromise my Christianity’ may be the most hilarious pop lyric ever. Elsewhere the lyrics are downright disgusting. How, with no irony, are there feminist songs alongside posturing and slut shaming? All this only four songs in! How utterly vile this is, in a uniquely American sense. First album that’s straight up /offensive/.
5/5
We just don’t get this on a public scale anymore.
The Cult
1/5
Absolutely soulless.
Steely Dan
2/5
This band needed an editor.
Led Zeppelin
2/5
A breathtakingly diverse range of sound. But for me? One song was enough.
Muddy Waters
3/5
This sounds like so many cigarettes you’ve smoked before.
The The
3/5
Experimental and fun. The words are the best bit.
Ray Price
2/5
A great example of what it is - but both something I would ever reach for.
Sex Pistols
2/5
This reminds me of everyone’s youth. Brilliant but terrible. Ruined by knowing the manufacture and what became of Lydon. Some of the lyrics too are the same depressing misogyny which seems to be unfortunately found on more of these albums than you’d wish. Also - is there anything more English than stealing a joke from Shakespeare and claiming it counterculture?
OutKast
2/5
Why can’t a single song on this record decide which genre it is?
Songhoy Blues
5/5
I need to see them live immediately. Music that makes me smile and dancing not an option.
Cheap Trick
2/5
Super tight live. The crowd appreciation was enjoyable. Just confirmed I’d already heard the only Cheap Trick so songs I need to, though.
Talking Heads
2/5
I’ve enjoyed other music from him. This is a disappointment.
Nirvana
2/5
I don’t know why I didn’t like this. I guess I waited too long to listen, and now I’m too old.
Sister Sledge
1/5
Is disco meant to be this boring?
Siouxsie And The Banshees
2/5
Not one for me. Music is good, but the vocalisation drives me insane.
Van Morrison
4/5
Man I bet this was great to go to. Listening was a joyous experience. Not sure if it should even be repeated - I don’t wish to find the flaws.
The Police
5/5
Everything here is practically perfect. I’d happily even go for a full album like Mother and feel the same. Never not astonishing, this band.
Prince
1/5
Funky? Yes. Rizzard? No.
The Offspring
3/5
You can see why this was big with teenagers.
Roxy Music
2/5
Just can’t work out what to think of this. Know one thing - it is not good.
Ice Cube
4/5
What happened to this dude? This is incredible.
Elton John
3/5
Couple standouts, but I just don’t get rock and roll piano. It’s..fine I guess.
The Clash
5/5
Absolute love of my youth. Only problem with this album is Train in Vain can’t be listened to eternally.
Taylor Swift
1/5
Hilariously nepotistically terrible. The Mary sue of pop songs. Imagine having all these words and nothing to say.
Bob Marley & The Wailers
3/5
Can see myself chilling to this in the living room. Doesn’t do anything spectacular to me, though. Nice heavy bass is good.
The Who
5/5
Even with ‘Getting In Tune’ on it this is too phenomenal to be anything else. I haven’t heard something so good in so long.
Janelle Monáe
2/5
Such a lot of difference, yet so little of it is good. Are the ableist lyrics really necessary?
2/5
Not for me; barely made an impression at all.
Alanis Morissette
3/5
Like the music but not the vocal nor lyrics. A microcosm of the 90s I guess.
Black Flag
4/5
Now that’s a proper punk album.
Steely Dan
2/5
A definition of background music.
Tina Turner
3/5
I can see it, and I like how it’s so much less insipid overall than Taylor Swift types - here there are some things to say, in a voice that can actually sing. All this said, it’s not one for me.
The Rolling Stones
4/5
The fact I enjoyed this despite the lyrics of Brown Sugar really underlines how good it is.
Crosby, Stills & Nash
3/5
Nice and chill but too twee for me.
The Pharcyde
2/5
It’s always fun to be enjoying the beat and the flow only to be hit full in the face with needless and horrifyingly vicious misogyny, transphobia, and child abuse claimed as ‘jokes’. Was an instant 5/5 until then. So much fucking yikes.
Coldplay
3/5
The worst thing this experiment has done this far is made me realise I don’t actually mind certain portions of Coldplay.
The Pogues
5/5
Oh, I could fall in love.
Aretha Franklin
4/5
An objectively good album, but not one for me.
Ray Charles
3/5
Fine; objectively no fault to find other than that it’s not something I’d choose to listen to.
Elastica
3/5
What impressively bad production. Overall with that aside, this drips with the 90s - not distasteful, but iconically generic of the era, down to a rip off best known as a theme for a forgotten prank show. Can’t get much more shitty British childhood than that.
1/5
This experience has provided me with vital information - that Bob Dylan is the measure of all music, as I don’t believe within infinite universes that there will ever be a professional musician as poor as Bob Dylan. I’d rather listen to the screeching of a thousand and one cats with constipation.
Astor Piazzolla
4/5
Enjoyable enough; nice and jumpy and obviously for its purpose. Proper dancing music. Honestly surprised for some reason how much I enjoyed the instruments used - particularly the xylophone and accordion. Can’t say that was ever expected. It’s wild that this is live.
Public Enemy
2/5
Outstayed its welcome by track 3. A time capsule made not for me … moments of brilliance almost utterly lost in the tones of the time.
Billy Joel
4/5
Liked this more than I realised at first thought - was disappointed when I finished and went to the top again. How something can sound so old and so fresh at the same time…stories aren’t a candle to Springsteen’s, but couldn’t hold that against anyone.
The Stooges
2/5
It’s never a good sign when you recognise the opening song by a superior cover. The entire record is a band and a man hurtling fast towards sensationalist for the sake of it. I can see why this did well in its time. My god it’s of its time.
Various Artists
2/5
It’s a Christmas album - filled with variations of songs with alternate versions which I prefer and (presumably) American tunes I have no desire to add to the repertoire of an already tired musical time of year.
Wild Beasts
1/5
What evil fucker told this cunt they could sing?! Then to hand them a rhyming dictionary?! I know the entirety of human history has many hells, but did we really deserve this?
Sly & The Family Stone
3/5
There’s something so hilarious about the soulful way words are sung which would be uncomfortable today. Overall not what I expected, and a great example of this project expanding not just my musical knowledge but also my socio-historical awareness.
R.E.M.
4/5
Wow, REM goes harder than I ever knew.
The Electric Prunes
2/5
You can hear who they've influenced... who have also done it better.
Lambchop
2/5
Just behind every song, you can almost hear their anuses clenching from trying so hard.
Elliott Smith
4/5
Having heard of him for so many years, he isn’t what I expected. He’s so much better.
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
3/5
Two increíble songs surrounded by drivelled filler. If only they’d spent more time in the studio!
The Mamas & The Papas
2/5
Worst thing you can be is boring. This is so inoffensively dull I had a headache from halfway through.
Christine and the Queens
1/5
Sensationalism for its own sake is so exhausting. Get you, performer. How have you not grown up yet?
Ms. Dynamite
5/5
What a unique, mature, and healthy voice. The type of album that makes you wish you were the right age to appreciate it upon release.
Method Man
2/5
As vile as it is uninspired.
2/5
Man can be write a chorus…but everything else leaves me cold.
Radiohead
1/5
Backing up my belief that Radiohead have one decent song. It is not on this album.
Fever Ray
2/5
I was glad when this was over. Not quite sure of the point of it; I don’t think even they knew. Couple good beats though.
The Byrds
2/5
What an odd collection of nonsense lyrics combined with an uncomfortably high amount of religion, particularly religious misogyny. I actually got distracted halfway through and entirely forgot I had been listening to it for a good hour. So much nothing.
The Beau Brummels
4/5
Ethereal and beautiful. Reminds me of some elements of Lindisfarne.
Garbage
2/5
I’d have loved this when I was 13 and thought I was edgy.
Rage Against The Machine
5/5
I’m so glad this exists. If only it weren’t even more relevant today than when it was made.
Nico
3/5
Beautiful music with a bizarre vocal delivery that rapidly outstays its welcome then somehow comes around to be pleasant again. What an oddity.
Bon Jovi
2/5
An over-excitable producer paired with the symbol of generic Mum rock unite to mildly irritate us all.
Fairport Convention
2/5
All a bit too unbitten.
Otis Redding
3/5
Pleasant background music.
A Tribe Called Quest
3/5
Enjoyable but heard it done better (with less phobia, 90s or not). Outstayed it’s welcome.
The Dandy Warhols
2/5
The musical equivalent of tat.
Van Morrison
2/5
Disappointing. Felt like a front of a heart rather than any heart itself.
Frank Sinatra
3/5
I like Sinatra, but it’s really inescapable that it’s all the same. I suppose that’s what makes him so magical.
Stan Getz
2/5
Kicking off with atrocious vocals was a choice; I can see why covers fared far better. I don’t hate this record, but it’s mildly irritating at best.
Bob Dylan
1/5
There’s so much bad going on in the world today. Being forced to listen to this made it all somehow worse. It is better than the others of his thus far, but a better Bob Dylan album is still a fucking Bob Dylan album.
Deee-Lite
2/5
This sounds like how ice hockey rinks smell.
M.I.A.
2/5
Noise of nothing.
The Pogues
4/5
Perfectly frantic and equally beautiful. Only a handful of missteps - the inclusion and delivery of Jesse James is confusing at best. It’s also impossible to hear Dirty Old Town without replacing the lines with Virgil van Dijk.
Bruce Springsteen
5/5
The American bard. Every three minutes I fall in love again.
Amy Winehouse
2/5
My life was missing nothing here. Yes there’s the voice (albeit which never personally appealed) but moreso there are the lyrics - dated and crude.
Kid Rock
1/5
What the fuck.
Fleet Foxes
2/5
Twee, performative, soulless. Forgettable snd entirely indifferent.
David Crosby
2/5
This feels intentionally uneven. Tiresome enough to help me understand why others hated hippies.
Eagles
2/5
Moments of bite, but an ever-present overtone of boredom.
The Black Keys
2/5
A strong opening four seconds. After that? Crap consisting of painful falsetto and lyrics which were exhausted even as they were being written. It’s not even shit. It’s nothing. Somewhere, somebody should be embarrassed about this.
Sonic Youth
4/5
Frenetic and so ahead of it’s time.
The Only Ones
4/5
Not what I expected - but no worse for it. Just the sort of ramshackle I like.
The Strokes
5/5
From fresh to classic and still blowing everyone else out the water. (Note: this is considering the UK release; the American alternate cover and track listing significantly weakens the package.)
Isaac Hayes
2/5
There’s so much going on for something so boring. This said - four tracks? What an absolutely bizarre and oddly impressive go at an album.
Justice
2/5
How exceptionally French - not that there’s anything wrong with that. There’s a lot wrong with this album, though.
The Zutons
4/5
If only the world recognised the majority of their songs are even better than Valarie.
Big Brother & The Holding Company
4/5
An absolute triumph of production. Enigmatic and Electric.
TV On The Radio
5/5
This hit me to an audible ‘wow’ and has kept my attention since. Every listen a new layer. While early days, this could be the triumph of the project.
Missy Elliott
3/5
I think we can all agree elements of that intro have not aged well. It’s super important that this is here; I’m simply not within its audience.
Tom Tom Club
2/5
I imagine this is how those who dislike Parappa the rapper felt in 1996.
Kraftwerk
3/5
Groundbreaking. Influential. Not for me.
Gil Scott-Heron
5/5
This is not my sort of music. I have never had anything better between my ears. How is this so hard to find?!
Booker T. & The MG's
2/5
Echoes memories of times I’ve never had. A record best used as a sleep aid.
Radiohead
1/5
Why are they so beloved but so bad?
The Dave Brubeck Quartet
3/5
Impressive and important and not for me.
Jamiroquai
2/5
Should you ever need a reminder of reasons to hate the 90s. Alternatively: what if the Persona soundtracks were uninspired shite which never. Fucking. Stopped.
Gorillaz
2/5
One long album. One good song.
Arcade Fire
2/5
Pretentious marmite.
2/5
It certainly does a lot. I must’ve felt differently were I around when it was released. Instead I’m just glad I got the far superior stuff they influenced rather than having to suffer through the Beatles themselves.
Soft Cell
1/5
The sound which makes you glad you weren’t alive in the 80’s. Nothing.
Tears For Fears
2/5
Two hours later and I can’t remember a single song.
Dagmar Krause
4/5
‘And now you all know how things can become, don’t you ever forget how it all began.’ Still so apt for today. If only it were translated to a modern sound. If only people still listened.
R.E.M.
3/5
Enjoyable but nothing special.
Klaxons
3/5
I remember trying to like this as a teenager, forcing myself like learning to drink coffee. It’s still hype holding together posh boy edge, but I’m half here for nostalgia now - it’s an objective 1.5, I admit.
The Cure
2/5
A promising start which dwindles and fades to eventual boredom.
New Order
4/5
A perfect album other than the opening track.
Beastie Boys
3/5
Like The Lonely Island - I see it, but I don’t get it.
Neil Young
4/5
All over the place yet brilliance.
Scritti Politti
1/5
What happens when you mix desecration of your beliefs with S Club Juniors. I am angry, sad, and resigned in equal measure. The definitive sell-out album. What nothing to offer. What a fucking waste.
Cowboy Junkies
2/5
An intriguing opening couple songs followed by ten tunes consisting of so-so storytelling and a beautiful voice of insipid nothing.
B.B. King
4/5
Masterful, classic, tight.
Elliott Smith
3/5
So many wonderful ingredients, but I’m not sure it all really comes together for me. I suspect it would need multiple listens I just don’t want to invest time into at this age.
Little Richard
2/5
You can see why this was popular in dancehalls - as much dull nonsense, repetition, and the gross sense of a bad smell as eurotrash.
Dwight Yoakam
1/5
Everything about this undersells how paint-by-numbers while vile it turns out to be. There is no recover from a ‘romantic’ song about murdering your partner.
T. Rex
2/5
This is just intentionally listening to all the adverts of my (90s UK) childhood.
Metallica
3/5
I can appreciate this, but I don’t want to have to.
The Beta Band
2/5
Leaders of landfill.
Black Sabbath
3/5
Surprisingly progressive lyrically for the time (and the public personality!). This goes in the category of expecting I would have felt differently if alive at the time. For modernity it’s just not for me and I didn’t gain much from the exposure.
Paul Simon
5/5
Not a negative second.
The Police
4/5
Too spotty to be truly great, but still better than most.
The Isley Brothers
2/5
Like the music, not the lyrics. All songs were overt long.
Keith Jarrett
5/5
What a wonderful thing to be lost in.
New York Dolls
1/5
This isn’t punk. It’s posture.
Iron Maiden
3/5
This isn’t for me, but I’m glad I heard it. The lyrical content, particularly the sudden wild appearance of The Prisoner, had me rather confused and pleasantly surprised.
3/5
I have never heard anything quite like this. Such a shame it’s mostly torn down by lyrics which sound as if they’ve been rejected from children’s songs.
The Smiths
1/5
How was it a surprise to anyone to find Morrissey is an insufferable twat?
Flamin' Groovies
2/5
Everything here sounds like the soundtrack to a bad parody movie. Band name and titles included.
2/5
The proto Coldplay - a few undoubtable bangers you wouldn’t put on but wouldn’t turn off. The rest being forced soulful filler.
Nine Inch Nails
2/5
There’s a lot going on and not much at all. Whoever told Trent to stop trying to write lyrics really loved him.
The Jesus And Mary Chain
2/5
There was something in the first half, albeit with the tinge of a cover band. Then it leapt into self-indulgent eternity. I wonder if they ever got out of their own way (tho not enough to seek out more!)
ZZ Top
2/5
‘Generic’ is kind.
Leonard Cohen
5/5
Genuinely masterful.
Fats Domino
2/5
Another one so generic of the era that I hadn’t noticed when it had finished and songs by two other artists had played(!).
Cocteau Twins
2/5
Like a dream nobody wants to have. Not a nightmare - just continually unpleasant and the antithesis of refreshing.
Erykah Badu
2/5
A mixture of the most boring elements of music in the 70s and 90s.
Violent Femmes
2/5
I can see why the blank teens in Sabrina the Teenage Witch liked this band.
Massive Attack
3/5
Objectively there’s nothing wrong - it’s just not one for me.
Can
1/5
What an epically long shit.
David Ackles
4/5
Not perfect, but close.
Soundgarden
2/5
Safe for the radio.
2Pac
4/5
Important and markedly American in a way I’ll never be able to fully comprehend. Glad I heard, no desire to hear again category.
The Doors
3/5
Phenomenal…or filler.
5/5
I’ve never really given them the respect they deserve, even having seen them live. All these classics came from a single album?! Geniuses really do steal.
Germs
3/5
Man what I’d give for this music to go with a competent vocalist who does more than sneer every word into a single sound.
Skepta
3/5
While I enjoyed this not made me feel equally young and old. Things held in such a specific time rarely stand the test of it.
Harry Nilsson
3/5
The tone is all over the place, and although surely intentional this makes it hard to take seriously. Has a general tone of something the world thinks I should like but I cannot see what’s supposedly so special.
Blur
2/5
There’s something so horrendously smarmy about Damon Albarn that I felt even a child that I was alone in seeing the Emperor without his clothes. Now, having listened to a full Blur album, the bile which rises to meet his disgust with my own only intensifies. Parklife alone - saved in its primary delivery by a professional actor who shits all over Albarn’s full vocal career in his one contribution to it - heftily drags this to two stars. Don’t even get me started on the failed politician and fucking cheese farmer.
Manic Street Preachers
3/5
Punk attitude which somewhat overstays it’s welcome. You can feel it pushing against its own time; I’d have likely adored this were I the right age then.
The Velvet Underground
4/5
You take it for granted that music is art as you’re raised knowing so. But this? This is /art/.
Cyndi Lauper
4/5
Not a ride I wish to experience again but one I’m glad I got to take.
Adam & The Ants
2/5
A confusingly long career built on an excruciating gimmick, wholly and entirely carried by having good musicians behind him. It’s distressing how many of these albums contain excellent music absolutely ruined by their choice of lyricist and/or singer.
Merle Haggard
3/5
Feel like I’ve heard this album hundreds of times before. Usually it’s better, though to be fair it is often worse. Can’t conceptualise why anybody thought this was special.
Pet Shop Boys
2/5
A record so boring it just finished and I already can’t remember any of it. So un-noteworthy it doesn’t even deserve 1/5.
Run-D.M.C.
4/5
I can see why they were so popular in their time. I kinda want to like it more than I actually do.
Belle & Sebastian
3/5
I don’t like this band, but they remain the best band I’ve ever seen live. Funny how that goes.
Madness
3/5
Liked the first half of this more than I expected. Couldn’t really get over rNew Delhi tho. What a yikes!
Bruce Springsteen
5/5
This genius never misses. So incredible he’s almost infuriating!
Buzzcocks
4/5
Wasn’t expecting anything of this - dismissed them as a two-hit-wonder by wow. What an album!
Brian Eno
5/5
So unexpected it needed back-to back listens to understand. What a delight.
Hookworms
3/5
Kinda liked this, but not enough to listen again. If you fancy the flavour why go for the rip off when the original is available?
Dusty Springfield
2/5
Oh my boring. 1.5 for not completely hating it.
Snoop Dogg
1/5
Dear god he’s really like this. And even worse than I could ever have imagined.
The Waterboys
4/5
I wish I’d sooner known we had such wonders at home.
Led Zeppelin
2/5
Good music, terrible vocal and lyrics. Also - why is every song at least twice as long as it needs to be?!
The Crusaders
3/5
An enjoyable listen, but little more. Could vibe great in a Persona soundtrack.
Gotan Project
2/5
So refined it’s boring. Sounds like it was made to be sampled or as a background to porn, depending upon which movement you’re forced upon. 1.5 for not loathing it.
Le Tigre
2/5
Dancing that fine line - both proper shit and pretty good. A wobbly 2.5.
Al Green
2/5
Insipid yawning created to soundtrack crecednos of mediocre romcoms. Didn’t hate it but gosh was I glad when it was over.
Jefferson Airplane
3/5
Some good moments - particularly fun recognising how much it clearly influenced Phineas and Ferb - but too swampy wet overall.
Marianne Faithfull
3/5
Much like an ex, I enjoy many parts but not the cohesive whole.
David Bowie
2/5
Irritating vocal delivery mixed with poor attempts at telling stories. 2.5
Amy Winehouse
1/5
Somehow more vile than Back to Black. Impressive.
Hole
2/5
Maybe this felt landmark at the time. Now it’s merely Eh.
Björk
1/5
In the words of my other half - I rapidly grow tired of this pagan poetry.
MGMT
1/5
Apathetic dogshit carried by a two short riffs that can’t even sustain interest for the duration of the songs they’re on, let alone 40 minutes of this crap.
Solange
1/5
Using other people’s struggle as a nepotism no problem is certainly a choice.
Fugazi
3/5
You can really hear the influence, tho I can’t get over the vocal or the production enough to actively enjoy this.
Michael Jackson
4/5
The good stuff is phenomenal but the remainder is merely ok. Really could’ve done without the wet duet also. He really did know what he was doing here. 4.5
Simple Minds
2/5
Some elements sound like Franz Ferdinand songs I don't like. The remainder merely fades.
The National
2/5
Sort of shit that gives the genre a bad rep.
The Temptations
3/5
An album which can’t live up to its first three songs. Such a rapid and shocking nosedive for the remainder!
Steely Dan
2/5
Hokey, wet, and badly aged.
Os Mutantes
1/5
This is so bad it’s surely got to be self pleasure performance art. What is worse - I understand enough of the language to know it’s even worse than it would be if I only spoke English … I require therapy to recover from having to listen to this. Horrendous.
The Youngbloods
3/5
I expect few albums still sound experimental 56 years on. I don’t want to spend more time with them but I’m glad I heard it. Odd choice to end the EP with six and a half minutes of elevator music, though.
ZZ Top
2/5
Can’t quite understand why there’s so much on this list which is nothing more than generically American. Or why these attempts at sounding soulful seem so plastic. It’s not terrible, but it is meaningless.
Stevie Wonder
2/5
Background music.
Einstürzende Neubauten
1/5
Exactly as expected.
John Cale
3/5
Incredibly inconsistent - but there is something here. Closer to 3.5 than 4, though.
Iggy Pop
4/5
Explodes out the gate and comes so close to catching up.
Coldcut
1/5
American infected Eurotrash.
Tom Waits
2/5
Outstayed its welcome after 2 minutes. He’s terrible, but at least he means it.
The Rolling Stones
3/5
Some bangers, some filler; mostly misogyny.
Tom Waits
1/5
This pretentious motherfucker.
Quicksilver Messenger Service
2/5
Rarely does a record give so much to listen to while being so boring to hear.
The Beach Boys
4/5
How apt for today. A superabundance of beautiful vignettes.
David Bowie
2/5
This man had the delivery of a rewound cassette.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
3/5
Trying too hard to be orgasmic.
Weather Report
3/5
Good mix of capturing moments and others fading into the air. A good background record.
The Smashing Pumpkins
2/5
The plague of good music aligned with a terrible vocal and worse lyrics continues.
Ali Farka Touré
3/5
Technically brilliant. Doesn’t speak to me.
Buffalo Springfield
2/5
Bizarrely inconsistent.
The Blue Nile
5/5
Earnestly beautiful.
The Smashing Pumpkins
1/5
Two hours of my life stolen to continual fury - for two solid hours all I could do was long for the opening instrumental as it would stop the horrendous vocals and hilarious lyrics. Never have I wavered so hard in my intention to listen to all 1001.
Two. Fucking. Hours.
Grant Lee Buffalo
2/5
Only an American would find this remarkable.
James Taylor
1/5
On the face I would have liked this - only it shudders between overly twee, uncomfortably religious, and misogyny disgusted as romance. Even if you can ignore all this the music is bland and the lyrics as simply bad writing - too many examples of unintentional hilarity and attempts at half-rhyme which leave you cringing. Left me feeling sticky and gross.
The Temptations
2/5
Does a lot of interesting things, but the sound isn’t for me.
Jack White
2/5
Jack White is marmite and I’m still gorged from Michelin stars.
Donovan
2/5
Wetter than Dawn French out for a walk. Couple songs of bite then back to damp.
Throwing Muses
2/5
Deeply uninteresting with no respect for your time - the album equivalent of a modern Ubisoft game. Not even interesting enough to be cast aside as 1 star.
Blondie
3/5
It’s pop - some of it very good. All of it, mostly, not for me.
Shack
3/5
The closest I’ve ever been to a 90s Time Machine.
Def Leppard
2/5
So big and so boring.
Sufjan Stevens
2/5
Musically fine. I don’t want to spend any more moments with this man’s words.
Slayer
3/5
If this is your thing, I can see how this would be the peak of it. This is not my thing.
The Allman Brothers Band
3/5
Enjoyable, tight, and self-indulgent.
Radiohead
1/5
Pretentious songs presenting pretend problems; a guaranteed way to make a bad day worse.
(I apologise for previous Radiohead reviews where I claimed they had one good song - upon hearing it within its intended context I can only conclude that ‘Just’ is not their only good song, as they have none.)
2/5
Breathing over (mostly bad) 80s game music. 2.5
Linkin Park
3/5
They were very good with what they did, but they didn’t do it for me.
The Chemical Brothers
1/5
I just can’t understand why anyone would want this from their music.
Patti Smith
5/5
Like if Leonard Cohen was a woman. And punk.
3/5
Weird, wonderful, and awkwardly aged.
Alexander 'Skip' Spence
1/5
Simply shite.
John Lennon
2/5
Wet slime. 1.5 for some nice melodies which cannot surpass the gross tinge on everything.
LCD Soundsystem
3/5
I don’t mind this, but I don’t enjoy it. I’m glad I heard it.
LTJ Bukem
1/5
Spotify is incorrect; the correct album can be found on YouTube. The best parts are when it’s muted due to copyright.
Jimi Hendrix
3/5
Much like Star Wars, it’s just not for me.
Kanye West
1/5
Horrid. Wish I could give it 0.
Dire Straits
1/5
Singer sounded as bored as I felt. Occasionally interesting music cannot save this delivery or lyrics.
Parliament
2/5
Promised funk. Delivered boredom.
The Undertones
3/5
Doesn’t have the bite I’m looking for.
Frank Ocean
2/5
I like what he’s trying to do but not how he does it. 2.5
Marty Robbins
3/5
Initially infectious then boringly repetitive.
My Bloody Valentine
1/5
Dreamy, 90s, shit.
Thelonious Monk
2/5
Faded to the background - hadn’t realised it had finished.
Leonard Cohen
5/5
Perfection.
Black Sabbath
3/5
I don’t get the spark.
Big Star
1/5
Went from parody to abhorrent real quick. I need a shower.
Ella Fitzgerald
2/5
A clear, strong vocal and an impressive feat - yet I learnt long ago to loathe musical theatre for bringing us MTs. Ugh
Thin Lizzy
3/5
Liked some ingredients, didn’t like the cake.
Jazmine Sullivan
1/5
What an uncomfortably long 32 minutes.
Stevie Wonder
2/5
Ruined by religion and far too long. 2.5
Charles Mingus
3/5
As pleasant as it was unpleasant. Nothing in it for me.
2/5
A great opening 50 seconds ruined when the vocal begins.
Basement Jaxx
2/5
Like having something stuck in your throat.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
3/5
Nothing wrong - just samey and overly long.
Röyksopp
2/5
This didn’t just struggle - it didn’t make any impression at all. This album means there needs to be an option to complete without rating. How can you rate such aimless background sound?
Common
4/5
A strange one. Opened so strong and then blipped off and on.
Muddy Waters
4/5
Crisp, clear, timeless.
The Teardrop Explodes
3/5
Good but not as great as they clearly think of themsleves.
Deep Purple
2/5
Just can’t hear the appeal.
System Of A Down
2/5
They got passion. They ain’t got me.
Radiohead
2/5
I’m going to be fair here and measure this not independently, but against how utterly wank the other Radiohead albums I’ve had to listen to are: this is not entirely shit. Please god never make me have to listen to them again, though. 1.5 to be generous and pray they don’t come up again.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
2/5
1 ok song from 11. Embarrassing.
Calexico
2/5
The sort of band which makes people think indie is all twee. Terrible.
Paul McCartney and Wings
2/5
Oh my what a mess. At least they tried something new.
Joanna Newsom
3/5
She’s more punk than most of the punk on here. Though she’s not for me.
Minor Threat
3/5
Yup, that’s an American punk band. Standard.
Public Image Ltd.
1/5
About as bad as Brexit butter boy thinks he is. He’s just not bright.
Fleetwood Mac
3/5
They really are best when they’re bitter. Some good stuff but far too much fill.
Pink Floyd
1/5
Christ, it was so easy to be considered influential in the 70s.
Burning Spear
3/5
Like the lyrics, can’t stand the sound.
The Smiths
2/5
Can’t help but consistently believe how good this would be were to the vocals and lyrics by anyone else.
Jeff Buckley
4/5
Preferred the music to the vocal but you can’t claim this isn’t objectively brilliant.
Metallica
3/5
Better than their usual sound. Best without the vocals.
a-ha
3/5
Don’t like it don’t hate it.
The Velvet Underground
3/5
Good elements, purposefully confused whole.
Sinead O'Connor
4/5
How is she best known for a cover? Incredible poetry.
Yes
2/5
An album which would have been vastly improved with no vocalist. 2/5 with vocals, 4/5 in my imagined version without.
Pretenders
3/5
Liked it more than I thought I would, but less than I wanted to.
Hüsker Dü
2/5
Basic.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
2/5
Drunk in a dive bar dance nonsense.
Van Halen
2/5
Immature and largely forgettable.
Boston
2/5
A career built on a chorus.
Dead Kennedys
4/5
Dated yet fucking excellent.
Blur
2/5
Insufferably pretentious. At their best when mocking their betters.
Talking Heads
4/5
A grower I could see myself falling for. 3.5 for a first listen.
Pulp
4/5
National treasures.
Pearl Jam
2/5
Grating.
Dexys Midnight Runners
4/5
Far too jumbled with an overall shine - feels like the start of something. 3.5
Cream
3/5
It’s nice to hear someone singing in my accent.
Britney Spears
3/5
Very pretty and deeply disturbing.
Carpenters
3/5
The highlights are enough.
Fiona Apple
2/5
Now that’s what I call boring 96
The Dictators
2/5
Things which have aged badly and were also shite to begin with.
Tim Buckley
3/5
Something within this sings to me - but not enough. 2.5
Abdullah Ibrahim
3/5
Has it’s moments - but ultimately not good, not bad. Just jazz. Still not for me.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
3/5
Beautiful clarity; not for me.
Morrissey
2/5
Meandering.
The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
2/5
You’re not what you think you are.
AC/DC
3/5
‘She has … a body of a venus with arms.’ This lot dont get enough discredit for their lyrics.
Alice Cooper
2/5
A musical theatre version of a rock album.
10cc
3/5
I’m not weird enough for this.
John Coltrane
3/5
Relaxing background sounds.
A Tribe Called Quest
3/5
Somewhat well-aged.
Lucinda Williams
1/5
Catchy and shit.
UB40
3/5
Brilliant poetry with boring beats.
Pink Floyd
4/5
I wish I could’ve heard this in the time it was written and not in the context of how they are now. Impressive in many ways, incoherent in many others. Suspect it would be better interrogated for its flaws were it released now - got to give it respect, but it’s not stupendous. Glad I heard it, good to ever hear it again. (Also mildly confusing the best song is skipped on Spotify).
Echo And The Bunnymen
2/5
Sanctimonious meh
CHIC
2/5
Can’t live up to its opening track.
The Afghan Whigs
3/5
It’s fine. Feels like they’re aware it could’ve been better.
Aretha Franklin
3/5
She’s undeniably emotional; just not emotive for me.
The Libertines
5/5
Shaped me. Still as raw and beautiful as the day of release.
Public Enemy
3/5
I’m not from the right country for this album to hit so hard as it should do.
Leonard Cohen
4/5
Not his best but still beautiful.
Beatles
3/5
The producer’s the real genius.
808 State
2/5
Tedious.
Bill Evans Trio
2/5
The music is fine. The inclusion of background noise, including incessant talking, is moronic. Subtracts entirely.
Michael Jackson
3/5
Even tho it’s not my sort of thing, and even tho he’s not at his best, meh Michael Jackson is still objectively pretty spectacular. 3.5
Elis Regina
3/5
Acceptable background. May feel otherwise we’re I fluent.
The Byrds
3/5
Alright in places. Not special or particularly well aged, production wise.
Kendrick Lamar
3/5
There’s a strong sense he’s more talented than to use the particular language he does. Could’ve been great. 3.5
Blood, Sweat & Tears
3/5
Rather enjoyed elements, even though it was in constant argument with itself. 3.5
Gang Starr
2/5
Chill beats, nice flow, little to say. Probably felt far more in its age.
George Jones
3/5
Fine for what it is. What it is is meh.
Joan Armatrading
4/5
Beautiful voice, kickass guitar, incredible lyrics. Close to perfect.
Metallica
2/5
Almost beyond boring.
Drive Like Jehu
3/5
Quite liked this in parts tho it’s clear why they influenced as opposed to being seen as great in themselves.
Arctic Monkeys
4/5
While there’s some proper tunes I never got the hype. Lyrically lazy and horrendous in concert. Half the albums proves they could’ve once actually been the brilliance wrongly proclaimed. Shouldn’t have echoed Oasis in making their best song a b-side.
Led Zeppelin
2/5
Pretentious wank, tho the guitar certainly elevates.
Tangerine Dream
2/5
Sometimes you wonder what the point of making that was. This is one of those times.
Youssou N'Dour
4/5
Intensely pleasant.
The War On Drugs
2/5
What’s almost worse than Bob Dylan? A moron doing a shite Dylan impression over music your mum would like.
The Monks
4/5
Sounds years ahead of its release. Must’ve been absolutely incredible to it’s contemporary audience.
Mercury Rev
2/5
In places quite pretty, but by god the words are pretentious dog shit.
The Zombies
4/5
Enjoyed this much more than I expected and more than I felt I should. Somewhere between a weak 4 and a strong 3.
De La Soul
3/5
Some parts great, some parts repulsive. No parts for me.
Massive Attack
2/5
Fine beats, bad lyrics. 2.5
Steve Earle
2/5
It just felt oddly false.
King Crimson
3/5
Unique sound surpassed by its artwork.
Ghostface Killah
2/5
Imagine having talent, then actively choosing to make this instead. 1.5
Derek & The Dominos
2/5
Like being invited to a party only to realise you’ve been kidnapped.
Baaba Maal
5/5
Simply astounding. Now I’ve found him he’ll be with me a lifetime.
Queen
3/5
Heavier than expected, impressive as expected, not for me (as expected).
Dolly Parton
2/5
Dolly the person is so much more worthy than Dolly the musician.
Nina Simone
3/5
Often beautiful but not always interesting. 3.5
Goldie
2/5
I had no idea Goldie thought he was a musician.
Gene Clark
4/5
Surprised I’d never heard of this one. Wonderful despite the Bob Dylan cover.
Kate Bush
5/5
Right what I needed today. Beautifully bizarre.
Manic Street Preachers
3/5
Wanted to love it, but the highlight was realising where the theme song for a childhood show came from. Bumping to a 3 for them also being Welsh.
Pavement
2/5
All too American.
Leftfield
3/5
Better than most of this genre.
Foo Fighters
3/5
Not quite there yet. Not sure why this is here; always thought of them more as a singles band. A weak 3.
The Verve
2/5
Man, I wanted to like this. Didn’t even notice when it ended. 1.5 for effort.
Dr. Dre
1/5
Not a single redeeming thing.
Fela Kuti
4/5
Not for me but not made for me either. Vital and inspiring - I’m so grateful I now know of this family.
Scott Walker
5/5
Music that makes you stop.
The xx
2/5
They lost it. Starts middling, down from there.
Robbie Williams
3/5
His lyrics let him down - there’s shovels of passion but it simply isn’t good enough. Standouts still serve for a jukebox.
New Order
3/5
Not one of their best - specifically lyrically - but still damn great. 3.5
Bonnie Raitt
2/5
Nothing wrong with individual songs but a complete lack of cohesion leads to total tonal whiplash. Not an album but a collection.
Daft Punk
2/5
I can’t understand why anyone would seek this out.
Rush
2/5
They’ve done something different. It’s not good.
Orange Juice
2/5
Sounds like the worst Franz Ferdinand songs fronted by a Smiths obsessed uni student.
The Modern Lovers
3/5
Proto Strokes with a less cultivated attitude and worse lyrics. Enjoyed it but double I’ll relive it.
Morrissey
2/5
My mentally unwell aunt, who homeschooled her child but never taught them to socialise or even read, changed her surname to his and named her child after him. That paints a fairly accurate picture of the type of person drawn to this perpetual self-aggrandising, faux self-pitying teenager.
The Prodigy
2/5
Beats are good, lyrics are concerning. Nice hearing an accent like mine tho. 2.5
Dennis Wilson
2/5
The sort of songs which make you feel for anyone who loved him.
Television
3/5
Strong example of eh.
1/5
At first, I thought this was too generic to be awful. Then it continued on. This is fucking horrendous.
Pere Ubu
2/5
Unsettling and exhausting.
Marvin Gaye
3/5
An astoundingly beautiful voice in a horrifically prophetic context.
David Bowie
3/5
It’s…fine? I don’t want to hear it again. His delivery does nothing for me.
Laibach
3/5
They got real weird with it.
George Michael
4/5
Not for me but damn did he know what he was doing musically.
Jimmy Smith
2/5
For some, jazz is everything. For me, it’s background at best.
King Crimson
3/5
Some of it I really enjoyed. Some I really hated. So I’m going down the middle like a coward.
4/5
Mariah Carey
1/5
This is even-for-the-90s bad.
The The
3/5
Pretty generically 80s.