1001 Albums Summary

"Don't get scared now, you knew this day would come" - Robert James Ritchie Ah, shucks. I knew I was going to have to go back through this one. Yes, go back through it. I've willingly sat through this before. Not only is this an absolute travesty to most music, I can't even really give it the ironic enjoyment that the Limp Bizkit album is going to get (I will defend that mess, 🍫⭐🐟). So where does this album go wrong? Instrumentally, it's fine, the backing band knows what they're doing. Everything *around* Robert James Ritchie works well (I'm not calling him "Kid Rock", that's a dumb name. Planet Tad put it best). I'd like to go through each track, but there's an issue: This album is mostly filler. You have the two big hits at the beginning with the rest of the mediocre hits sprinkled in, in between those are some of the most boring songs to ever come out. 1. Bawtidiba - This song fills the same space as Carnival - Kanye West, Ty Dollar Sign to me: it's vapid and I don't care for it 2. Cowboy - The other big hit that could arguably be enjoyable. I can see enjoyment from this. 3. Devil Without A Cause - Only saved by Joe C., in my opinion. Only thing to give me any enjoyment. 4. I Am The Bullgod - Man, this song is *fine*, perfectly fine instrumentally and absolutely vapid vocally. Such a great choice to fit as also the closer... This shows up on the album TWICE for some reason. Last time I checked, it's not even different. It's literally just the same song copy and pasted to extend out the ending track (probably so he wasn't ending on the song where he said the n word but we'll get to that). 5. Roving Gangster (Rollin) - Everyone rags on Rollin' (Air Raid Vehicle) but this is like exponentially worse. 6. Wasting Time - Definitely starts leaning more into the country style but it's still just unbelievably boring. We've had twenty minute long songs that are less vapid than this. 7. Welcome To The Party - Oh, sorry, "Welcome 2 the Party (Ode 2 the Old School)". A Prince you are not, Robert Ritchie, at most you are a Dueuce, er, Duke. Anyways by this point, if you haven't shut the album off yet, you're in for the long haul. This is probably one of the worst on the album, and absolutely one of the worst singles they had. The music video for this is also bad, but I haven't seen it in forever and I'm not going back to watch it. The featured verse at the end makes me think that Robert Ritchie just told them to do it for them instead of asking. 8. I Got One For Ya' - Genuinely, what am I listening to? This started off with him being drunk and then transitioning into OJ??? Funny now, especially that OJ's dead, but really just makes me uncomfortable. Feels sleezy to the worst degree. 9. Somebody's Gotta Feel This - It's at this point I realize, Robert James Ritchie cannot rap. Rap takes a lot of different pieces to make it work well: flow, rhyme scheme, instrumental cohesion (how you fit with the beat), and a lot more that someone much smarter than me could explain. Robert James Ritchie has none of these. There is one flow with a somewhat changing backing track and that's it. Again, props to the backing band, shame they have to be sacked up with this guy. 10. Fist of Rage - I genuinely cannot remember anything about this song and I just heard it. Literally in one ear and out the other. 11. Only God Knows Why - Ah, so Robert James Ritchie decides to show off his range from making some of the worst "rap metal" you've heard to making some of the worst acoustic "ballads" you've ever heard. Awesome. Just amazing. Great use of autotune as well, it doesn't reach Never Enough levels of comedy but it's *just* notable enough to be horrendous. Also, "You get what you put in" Sure Robert Ritchie... Sure... You really tell us that putting in garbage gets out garbage. Thank you with your redneck persona, from someone born WITH A SILVER SPOON IN HAND. 12. F**k Off - So to some of us who haven't actually listened to the dirty version probably haven't checked this one out, which I don't blame you it's NOTHING. There is one note I have for it, is that a young scrappy feature of a man named Marshall B Mathers III shows up on it... he doesn't have a good verse but I think he's got something, he might go somewhere. Also the last two minutes is just voice messages... Awesome. No notes. Amazing. Note: When looking up this song, Eminem quotes being coked out of his mind for this, the only time he's tried coke in his life. I don't really have anything to note but I guess that could explain why his verse was so aimless. 13. Where U at Rock - Okay, so decent idea with the panning, but it's still the same garbage as usual. I don't care. I just want this torture over. 14. Black Chick, White Guy - Finally, the last song. A 7 minute ballad, I guess, to his upbringing and raising his kids. Look, I'll give him one thing, he definitely gave an interesting story. Just a shame that it feels fabricated, solely cause of his "redneck pimp" persona bleeding into it. This guy could tell me a concrete fact and I wouldn't be able to trust him. Oh yeah and this is the one where he says the n word, so any good semblance I had for this automatically gets nullified. Oh, and fun fact, this isn't even from this album. It's listed as such but this is actually a song from the album before this, just slapped on with no care, attached with a "remix" of I Am A Bullgod, which I put in quotations cause I am 90% sure it's just the same song. Wouldn't put it past him. All in all, this was genuinely one of the worst albums I've suffered through. Despite being a nu metal / rap metal fan, this is one of the worst albums to ever come out of this. It's aimless, it's repetitive, it's annoying, it's sleezy to a fault, and it's DIAMOND SELLING. Yes, it's rated Diamond by the RIAA, meaning millions on top of millions bought this record. Millions of people suckered by a decent blow up single and now have this in their collection. I am one of those people and I regret ever listening to this.