This thing is random, right? Three albums so far for me, all of them from 1977. Billy Joel (always pronounced Joh-El by me, as if he's related to Superman) is one of those artists... Let's put it this way, there's a bloke I know - just turned 30, so still young as far as I am concerned - he loves Billy Joel. Loves Elton John too. And Barry Manilow. He's been to see them all live. Loves artists who put on a "show", and if they can play the old Aunt Joanna, even better. "Safe" music, I call it. That said, I've got respect for Billy Joel. He digs The Beatles, and he obviously knows his stuff - in fact, I like to watch him talk about music, his own and other people's, and he generally makes a lot of sense and seems like a good guy (well, there was that time he totally lost his shit in Moscow). A talented guy though. I own all of his studio albums (yeah, even that classical one) and have given each of them ample chance to impress me over the years. Sadly, I always find them all just a bit... meh. Fine greatest hits album, of course, but the LPs themselves are just too inconsistent and, well, bland. But I was willing to give The Stranger another try, it does, after all, contain probably my favourite Joel composition. Even the slightly tongue-in-cheek accordion solo can't detract from the brilliance of Vienna. Melodically irresistible, it weaves its way between sentimentality and uplifting optimism without ever tumbling completely over either side of the precipice. A bit of a guilty pleasure for me, laid back, but the delivery is totally suited to the lyrical themes and the melody is convincing and compelling throughout. Not quite as successful, but still something of a guilty pleasure, Just The Way You Are does eventually plunge into the depths of mushiness. Again, melodically strong with a undeniably touching sentiment, but the execution is just too sickly for these ears. Saxophones? Good god, no. Elsewhere, The Stranger never reaches the same heights, hit singles notwithstanding. Scenes From An Italian Restaurant is just a bit pretentious, isn't it? As is that bloody whistled The Stranger theme (and not too far removed from the soundtrack to that Turkish Delight advert from the 80s). The car noises on Movin' Out really confused my dog while I was listening, which provided a rare moment of genuine entertainment for me. Joel's music tentatively dips its toes in various popular genres, but never dares to get soaking wet in any of them. And therein lies the key, great singer-songwriter though he may be on paper, Billy Joel's music works best when he finds a suitable hook to hang it on. Much of The Stranger just seems lacking in style. At heart he's an old school rock 'n' roller operating at the nexus point where music fractured and split off in a thousand different directions. Vienna works so well because it wears its Kurt Weil parody on its sleeve and fully commits to the pastiche. It's no surprise Joel would come out the other side of the 1970s and enjoy his greatest success by completely embracing his roots and paying homage to his own favourite music of the past. I can't give it any more than two stars, and even then Vienna and Just The Way You Are are doing all the heavy lifting.

Super Furry Animals were so taken by a particular expletive-loaded line from Steely Dan's track Show Biz Kids, they crafted their own (quite brilliant) song around a sample of said obscenity. There, folks, begins and ends my extensive knowledge of Steely Dan. Oh, and they took their name from a steam-powered dildo described in William S Burroughs' Naked Lunch... but everyone knows that. Being a Furries fan, I did feel obliged to pick up a copy of to Countdown To Ecstasy - the album containing Show Biz Kids - as soon as the opportunity presented itself. Countdown To Ecstasy was also ranked fairly high (13) in Mojo magazine's Top 100 Albums Of All Time list from 1995, which would probably have been at the back of my mind when seeking out the LP back in the day and (finally getting to the point) Aja also seems to crop up on similar such lists regularly enough. When I drew this as the first of my 1,001 albums in this venture, my initial thought was "Well, I'm sure there will be worse albums waiting for me among the next 1,000..." While I am still convinced this is true, Aja, I'm afraid, is not the hidden gem I was hoping it might be. I appreciate the crisp production and I also get why champions of this LP are always keen to highlight the "excellent musicianship". It's because its a code for "there are no songs". In fact, I'll go further and suggest that, to this listener at least, is almost completely devoid of any traces of soul or emotion whatsoever. You see, playing instruments proficiently is all very well, but, just like a painter who is very proficient with a brush when it comes to whitewashing brick walls - the expertise required might be an artform but the end product isn't necessarily always art. Countdown To Ecstasy, while exploring similar jazz-prog-rock-pop territory, at least is more rough around the edges - more human, more raw. Aja is slick and soulless by comparison and, the lack of any kind of edge leaves it floundering in easy listening territory. This album's admittedly tight grooves, jazzy progressions and instrumental dexterity never threaten to coalesce into something approaching a catchy song. In turn, the seven tracks here, for all their extended soloing and musical flourishes, fail to offer much in the way of varity in terms of sound or feel, yet neither do they pull together in one direction to offer some wider concept of the long-player as a whole. Don't get me wrong, not every song has to be Love Me Do, but I guess I am ultimately in it for something a bit more immediate and memorable. The only moment my ears truly pricked up was during Peg as I realised this was where De La Soul lifted the vocal refrain and instrumental motif for their Eye Know. Look, if the likes of De La Soul and Super Furry Animals hear something inspiring in Steely Dan, then I'm not sure I'm qualified to argue. However, after several listens though from start to finish, Aja just isn't doing it for me. Sorry.

The first album of my 1,001 was Steely Dan's Aja - the second could barely be more apt. With five tracks more than Steely Dan's effort, released in the same year, Never Mind The Bollocks' runtime is still a good minute shorter and is the complete antithesis everything the former represented at that time. Direct, noisy, obnoxious - there's not very much I could say about the Pistols that has not already been said many times over. Suffice to say, I was born right in the middle of punk, and I've never thought of it as a musical genre, as such - more a wider cultural movement absolutely tied to the UK in the mid-to-late-70s. Yeah, the Ramones and The Stooges did it first in the States, but they were channelling Phil Spector and MC5 respectively. The Pistols were emulating no-one past and present and, rather than pointing out some new exciting direction, they were simply creating a big musical "fuck you" to the establishment. At least that's what the legend says. Did that movement actually achieve anything? Were the Pistols the real deal? Is Johnny Rotten just an irritating contrarian? Almost half a century on, I suppose the only question that really matters is does the music still stand up? And, yeah, it does just about. Make no mistake, punchy and direct though it may be, there is some flabbier content on here - The band fought to keep the singles off the album and, fortunately, they lost. The energy and angst of God Save The Queen, Anarchy In The UK and Pretty Vacant is as fresh as it was in 1977, in other areas the hooks are not as sharp and the lyrics not as cutting or clever as they pretend to be ("sub mission", yeah, we get it). That said, more often than not it hits the mark, and its highs certainly make up for the LP's occasional lows. As a snapshot of England in jubilee year, as a defining moment in rock history, or as the album that simply inspired a thousand other bands - Never Mind The Bollocks is undoubtedly a five-star LP. For me, taken as a collection of songs in 2025, the impact has dulled slightly and it does sag in places. I have to give it four.

This thing is random, right? Three albums so far for me, all of them from 1977. Billy Joel (always pronounced Joh-El by me, as if he's related to Superman) is one of those artists... Let's put it this way, there's a bloke I know - just turned 30, so still young as far as I am concerned - he loves Billy Joel. Loves Elton John too. And Barry Manilow. He's been to see them all live. Loves artists who put on a "show", and if they can play the old Aunt Joanna, even better. "Safe" music, I call it. That said, I've got respect for Billy Joel. He digs The Beatles, and he obviously knows his stuff - in fact, I like to watch him talk about music, his own and other people's, and he generally makes a lot of sense and seems like a good guy (well, there was that time he totally lost his shit in Moscow). A talented guy though. I own all of his studio albums (yeah, even that classical one) and have given each of them ample chance to impress me over the years. Sadly, I always find them all just a bit... meh. Fine greatest hits album, of course, but the LPs themselves are just too inconsistent and, well, bland. But I was willing to give The Stranger another try, it does, after all, contain probably my favourite Joel composition. Even the slightly tongue-in-cheek accordion solo can't detract from the brilliance of Vienna. Melodically irresistible, it weaves its way between sentimentality and uplifting optimism without ever tumbling completely over either side of the precipice. A bit of a guilty pleasure for me, laid back, but the delivery is totally suited to the lyrical themes and the melody is convincing and compelling throughout. Not quite as successful, but still something of a guilty pleasure, Just The Way You Are does eventually plunge into the depths of mushiness. Again, melodically strong with a undeniably touching sentiment, but the execution is just too sickly for these ears. Saxophones? Good god, no. Elsewhere, The Stranger never reaches the same heights, hit singles notwithstanding. Scenes From An Italian Restaurant is just a bit pretentious, isn't it? As is that bloody whistled The Stranger theme (and not too far removed from the soundtrack to that Turkish Delight advert from the 80s). The car noises on Movin' Out really confused my dog while I was listening, which provided a rare moment of genuine entertainment for me. Joel's music tentatively dips its toes in various popular genres, but never dares to get soaking wet in any of them. And therein lies the key, great singer-songwriter though he may be on paper, Billy Joel's music works best when he finds a suitable hook to hang it on. Much of The Stranger just seems lacking in style. At heart he's an old school rock 'n' roller operating at the nexus point where music fractured and split off in a thousand different directions. Vienna works so well because it wears its Kurt Weil parody on its sleeve and fully commits to the pastiche. It's no surprise Joel would come out the other side of the 1970s and enjoy his greatest success by completely embracing his roots and paying homage to his own favourite music of the past. I can't give it any more than two stars, and even then Vienna and Just The Way You Are are doing all the heavy lifting.

Four albums, and all of them from 1977 so far... *scratching chin emoji* I'm not going to have as much time to write about this album as the previous three, suffice to say I am already familiar with it, and it gets a thumbs up. I like Talking Heads. I like the IDEA of Talking Heads, perhaps more than I like some of their albums. You see, to me - post-punk, new wave, alternative - all those tags matter, but what matters more is that Talking Heads are a cracking little singles band, however you choose to pigeon-hole them. At their best they have catchy hooks, great melodies, and interesting rhythms. They are also eccentric, witty, experimental, and thought-provoking and everything a great pop band should be. Amazing greatest hits collection, and I'm totally onboard with Stop Making Sense being the greatest concert movie ever made. But their studio albums? Hmmm, bit hit and miss to be brutally honest. Always interesting, not always entertaining. Sometimes the melodies get neglected at the expense of rhythmic exploration. Sometimes the hooks take a backseat to the eccentricity and experimentation. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it makes Talking Heads' long players less accessible than some might have you believe. 77 is fine, although Psycho Killer is (predictably) the high point. Uh-oh, Love Comes To Town is up there too, but everything else is brilliant only in fits and starts. Definitely not for everyone's taste, and in some ways I feel a bit harsh giving this a three - I do so only because I know there are better albums and there are only two positions above this, I'm reserving my fives for albums I consider nigh-on perfect. (At least that's the theory)

Album number five. Aiming to streamline my reviews rather than rambling on as I have done thus far. Reggae is something of a music of contradictions for me - musically tight but with an irresistibly loose, laidback feel, and while politically, spiritually and socially preoccupied lyrically, the songs are often uplifting and danceable by contrast. Bob Marley, whether you rate him or not as a musical force, can, if nothing else, be recognised as a true figurehead for reggae and Jamaican culture, bringing them to a worldwide audience. Here, the music perhaps falls a little flat by lacking the contribution from his original Wailers, but is still as groovy and politically charged as you would expect. Admittedly not an album I would choose to listen to from start to finish often (I have listened to all Marley's albums sporadically in the past), Natty Dread comes into it's own as the soundtrack to any summer evening spent having fun in the sun. That's not to relegate Marley to mere background music, but he has produced better, more melodically interesting long-players than this - reggae fatigue sets in for this listener four or so tracks in. Only a two from me, but it's a high two.

Album six. Time to ruffle a few feathers... I've never understood the widespread reverence for this boring, self-indulgent, self-important wank. The emperor is well and truly stark-bollock naked here. A real chore to listen to, despite some deservedly famous drum production and great guitar sounds. Plant's voice never fails to grate as he wails his way through the least melodically and rhythmically interesting route between two points time after time. One star, awarded purely for the groove Page, Bonham and Jones create amid the pretentious pentatonic rock-blues wankery.

Album seven for me... Hip-Hop's Never Mind The Bollocks. Time, perhaps, has not been kind to the themes or the delivery, but the energy and rock solid beats are every bit as fresh as they seemed in 1988. Unlike the Pistols, there can be no doubting these guys were the real deal. While it is hard to fully appreciate the pros and cons of NWA's manifesto from the UK, it is clear the controversy routinely overshadows their contribution as a musical force. Listening almost four decades on, there is more subtlety and deftness of touch with a choice sample than you may have noticed before. Or maybe you did - look, hip-hop is not necessarily my specialist subject, certainly not in its gangster form at least, but this was enjoyable to revisit for me. Not perfect, but worth the hype. Four stars for a ground-breaking album.

Eight of 1001... Although on paper they look appealing to me, I've never quite warmed to The Pixies the way I always imagined I should. While I can appreciate what the fuss must have been all about in 1988, I personally came to these albums after hearing what Nirvana had already crafted with the same building materials, so the novelty was always a bit lost on me. Everything beyond the obvious choices - Where Is My Mind? and Gigantic - is just too intentionally inaccessible, too chaotic and just too lacking in hooks to stand up to repeated listening. I doff my cap to Surfer Rosa, but it's never been an album I want to return to time after time. Indeed, The Pixies did better than their debut - in fact I even prefer Frank Black's solo output to this. Huge respect but a low score, I'm afraid.

Nine of 1001... I do own Ritual De Lo Habitual via exposure to Been Caught Stealing back in the day, but know absolutely nothing of its predecessors, so am going in completely cold with this one. To these ears, this album is at its best in its more psychedelic, echo drenched moments. The shoegazing, however, is punctuated with more hair-metal flavoured guitar gymnastics and dated alt-funk-rock to much lesser effect. Farrell's destinct modulated vocal style eventually grates due to over-exposure. Nothing's Shocking certainly has its moments, but there is no individual standout track, nor is there anything of great substance to make me want to come back for more. Mostly loud and in-your-face, not necessarily not in a good way. Energetic but exhausting. Intriguing but shallow.

10/1001 There can be no denying, Hendrix had a unique gift that almost transcended music itself - an innate ability to make any sound he imagined come out of his fingertips at will. As a guitar great, Jimi is worth every gushingly enthusiastic word that has ever been written about him, of that I am sure. But are his songs any good? Well, yeah, they are but to be honest I could do a top *insert variable* albums list and easily neglect to include any Hendrix long players. Which is a shame, because I did enjoy listening to Are You Experienced? for the first time in a while. He may not be the best singer, and, despite the guitar gymnastics, a lot of this stuff is just based around some fundamental blues-rock building blocks. But, whereas Led Zep left me a bit cold, here everything is delivered with a lot of genuine soul and its all tastefully done. Some nice psychedelic sounds and very little filler - lesser-known songs such as Love Or Confusion and I Don't Live Today hold their own among the likes of (depending on which version of the album you are listening to) Purple Haze, The Wind Cries Mary and the title track. Really this should be a solid three from me, but I'm giving it a generous four - while it's not an album I personally return to often, as his debut I am mindful of the fact this must have been a pretty mindblowing sound to anyone listening in May 1967.

11/1001 I was looking forward to this, as Beth Orton was an artist that mostly passed me by in the 90s - I remember its predecessor, Trailer Park, being a half-decent album at the time. Sadly, this collection doesn't do anything for me. Well-worn chord progressions with less ambitious arrangements than Beth's previous effort, it runs out of steam by the second track and never really picks up momentum again, save for the trip-hop treatment of Stars All Seem To Weep just after the halfway point, by which time it is too late to lift the mid-paced, wistful mood. A mood which, of course, may have been precisely the one Beth Orton was aiming for, but it was not one which I felt I could really engage with. Beth's lyrics are poetic and mature, but there is nothing memorably melodic to hang them on, and I soon found myself zoning out. I'm sure this album has an audience, although I am equally sure I'm not it.

12/1001 Nope. Sorry. Nick Cave just irritates me. His vocal delivery irritates me. Widely regarded as a great lyricist he may be, but all I hear here is a load of cliches about whisky, preachers, storms, angels and "heading on down the road". Which also irritates me. I get that Cave is a bit of a character, and I can't deny he is a creative guy who has kept himself busy over the years. Kudos to him for that. But this is all just a bit too pretentious for me. Dark and brooding, the musical arrangements are vaguely interesting, but they'd have to be something really special to make me warm to 40-plus minutes of harping on about how hard life was for an imaginary protagonist in an imaginary wild west.

13/1001 Prior to this, I only knew the basics about Wyatt - Soft Machine / wheelchair / covered Shipbuilding - and after looking at some of the ratings on here, I was already queueing up "hilarious" capsule reviews in my head for Shleep ("utter shlit", "preferred Shlipbuilding" etc). So I was pleasantly surprised when I hit play on this one. Opener Heaps Of Sheeps is simplistic but effective slice of psychedelic pop. Right up my alley to be honest. Sadly, it's all downhill from there - but at least it's a helter-skelter of brass and string section noodling, avant-garde noisescapes, nursery rhyme vocals and general eccentricity, rather than a straight drop off a cliff-face. And if that all sounds bad, and more importantly, like the very properties I have already criticised in other offerings - well, yeah, you'd be right, but here the self-indulgence is deployed with a certain charm you can't help but warm to it just a little. Shleep, at the very least, takes you on a journey, albeit one meandering between pretentious experimentation and Barrett-esque whimsy, a project which eventually collapses under its own self-indulgence. There are some interesting musical moments along the way, it's just that very few of these moments arrange themselves into anything resembling a "song" in the traditional sense. Just enough peaks among the, admittedly tedious, troughs to keep you interested. There are occasional hints of trip-hop (Wyatt is from Bristol after all) and, released in the midst of Britpop, there is a strange whiff of the era permeating this album (think Far Out by Blur rather than Wonderwall). Almost every track outstays its welcome and the experiment is, ultimately, a failed one, but there is a strange warmth to this album I can't quite put my finger on. It means no harm. Suffice to say, only 13 albums in, this is far from the worst offering I have heard. If nothing else, Heaps Of Sheeps will definitely be a track heading straight for one of my psych/pop playlists for future listening. Plenty here to dislike, but somehow I found it impossible to flat out hate Shleep.

Truly awful.

15/1001 Ah, no hesitation making this my first five-star selection. If I had any complaint, it might be that the title track is a bit too sentimental and overblown - I rarely listen to it to be honest - and the final track is nothing special... but everything in between is pretty much perfect. One of my favourite albums, one of my favourite acts. Beautiful melodies, beautiful harmonies, beautiful arrangements, and some of Paul Simon's most touching lyrics. Absolutely magical.

16/1001 Ok, here's my take on Coldplay. Chris Martin can write songs. He can play piano, he can strum a guitar, he can come up with melodies and lyrics and all of that stuff songwriters do. And, you know, he's got personality. A pleasant, likeable guy - very marketable. He is accompanied by three other musicians about whom I know nothing. One of them wears a hat, and that is the closest any of them get to having a personality. Now don't get me wrong, none of that is necessarily a problem. The problem is that I don't know where Coldplay ends and the product begins. I can't tell by listening to their music how much of it is Chris Martin pouring out his soul and how much of it is the result of a decision taken in an office somewhere. "That 3-3-2 beat makes tracks sound urgent, let's use that here". "Yellow was a hit - lets use that loud/quiet, plodding straight time approach again here". It sounds like a solo artist with loads of other tried-and-tested arrangement and production tricks bolted on after the fact. I don't feel anything listening to this music, it seems unauthentic and sterile. For all the gloss and sheen, and for all Chris Martin's ability - and he does have an ear for a melody, I can't deny that - there is very little range or depth to Coldplay. The tension seems forced and fake. And I know whatever they did on the path to becoming U2 V2.0 has worked out for them, which is great, and maybe I'm just in the minority. I personally just don't like the music (and 20-plus years on you still hear this music on a regular basis, let's face it) - it's all surface and no depth. Not awful, just meaningless and formulaic.

17/1001 While some would have it The Smiths' debut is the bee's knees, I think this is a more mature, more refined effort. It may not be as radio-friendly as its predecessor, but every track here sees Marr in particular expanding his arsenal. Ok, it's been said numerous times, but the title track is an absolute dirge (does a traumatic subject necessarily require a traumatic experience for the listener?) so let's get that out of the way. The remaining eight tracks, however, are all top drawer with only Rusholme Ruffians perhaps becoming a tad tiresome on repeated listens. That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore may be the band's most subtly brilliant recording up to this point, while the jigsaw puzzle of open-tuning shimmer that is The Headmaster Ritual and the straight funk of Barbarism Begins At Home represent a conscious effort to avoid being pigeonholed. Would be a five, if not for the title track, but still a truly great album.

18/1001 I don't know if anyone else gets this, but here's my take on The Libertines' sound: I always felt like they went into the studio, put down a really tight version of a song - then went back in and added loads of off-the-cuff guitar overdubs, swapped lyric sheets, and then overdubbed each other's vocals - Carl singing Pete, Pete singing Carl - without really knowing the lines that well. THEN, and this is the key part, removed the original backing tracks and supporting structure of the song from the mix and left only the freeform stuff. If this sounds like a bit of a dig, it isn't, because when it works (and I don't know what their actual process was, of course) it sounds like pure genius. However, when it doesn't, the songs just sound unfinished and half-arsed. To be completely fair, I think the music press (in the UK, at least) were desperate to find something to fill the void when the Britpop bubble burst, and it never quite happened, despite NME's efforts to dig up the next big thing. Doherty and Barat were probably as deserving and as gifted as anyone from that period, but it never quite convinced me at the time. Doherty in particular conjures up flashes of Ray Davies brilliance in his melodies and imagery, but was equally prone to slipping into "Knees Up Mother Brown" mode. This album is every bit as urgent and exciting a listen as Up The Bracket, but there is a lot more style over substance at play here. It is an album of moments rather than great songs. Some people may lap up the "shoop shoop, shoop de-lang-a-lang" moments but it all just seems over-contrived. Thrilling in places, but veers towards the unfinished and half-arsed rather than the genius, I'm afraid.

19/1001 Well, if nothing else, I prefer this to Led Zeppelin - it just seems a bit more original to me, if nothing else. Changes stands out like a sore thumb as a piano-led ballad, but kudos to them for attempting to branch out. Acoustic instrumental, Laguna Sunrise also offers a change of pace. Elsewhere though, Ozzy bellows like a demented thing, while Iommi, Butler and Ward create a low, slow metal groove. It's kind of hypnotic, but then they were off their faces most of the time. Sabbath are almost entering into self-parody at this stage in their careers, every riff sounding like an interpolation of something they had already done to better effect on the previous three albums. I can't say I hate it - I gave it a couple of listens, and I'd probably already heard a couple of tracks before, while it is not an album I already owned - but it just kind of drifted by me to be honest.

20/1001 Hard to imagine, but long before Spotify, before Napster, before Myspace and before Steve Wright In The Afternoon, music was still evolving, unaided, at a fair old pace. When The Velvet Underground & Nico was being recorded in throughout 1966 it was undoubtedly ground-breaking stuff, but does it really warrant the praise that has been heaped upon it over the years? The thing is, by the time the album was released, almost a year after the sessions began, EVERYONE who owned a guitar and a pair of sunglasses (and probably lots of people who didn't own either) had formed a band and recorded an album. Don't believe all the hype, there were other bands doing what The Velvet Underground were doing by March 1967. The important thing though, and how I'm approaching all of these albums, is that Velvet Underground & Nico do it well, and with style. Forget the legend, this is still a smart collection of songs which benefits from the contrast between Nico's wistful, torch song vocals and Lou Reed's trademark snarky drawl. Light and dark. Sunday Morning, Femme Fatale and All Tomorrow's Parties have an undercurrent of something sinister lurking just below a light and catchy surface. Elsewhere the deviance and drugs are right out in the open in I'm Waiting For My Man, Venus In Furs and Heroin. Sadly, the cacophony of noise which makes Venus so compelling early on becomes irritating as the album plays out, the final two tracks spiralling away from the canny melodies and irritable rhythms that held the interest in the album's earlier art-school experiments, resulting in - well - just unbearable noise by the final minutes. Is this album alone responsible for the birth of alternative music? Probably not, but it is still worthy of this list and demands a listen whatever your musical tastes. Side one of the original LP is pretty much perfect, while Heroin sets the more uncomfortable tone for the flip side before two more chart-friendly offerings hold off the eventual implosion at the denouement.

21/1001 In the town where I was born, grew up and still call home to this day, Tuesday evenings are frequently, although less so in recent years, accompanied by bell ringing rehearsals at the parish church, the unmistakable sound of which can be heard pretty much right across town. It is my understanding - and I may be completely wrong about this - that the seemingly random noises they produce during these sessions is the result of something called "change ringing", wherein they ring the peal of six bells in a system determined more by mathematical sequences than by any consideration for musicality and melody. I could not possibly begin to comment on how skilled our local campanologists were, nor how accurately and satisfactorily they were executing the changes, because, regardless of any notion of skill or proficiency in execution, the resulting sound was still an ABSOLUTELY F**KING MEANINGLESS DIRGE to my ears. And this, I regret to inform you, is also all true of Miles Davis, jazz music in general and this album. Miles Davis may be the best jazz musician to have ever graced this planet - I simply could not tell you from listening to these tracks, pieces of music which exist to move me not one iota. If playing every note there is, in every possible articulation and every imaginable sequence is the goal, then he surely wins the prize. Congratulations, Miles.

Bland and devoid of emotion from start to finish, presented with a smug tongue-in-cheek delivery which irritates on every level - like a load of old woodwork teachers with 808s and Korgs trying to prove they can get down with the kids, but (wait for it) maybe they are also mocking the kids a bit too. How very clever. I cannot imagine why this album would ever warrant being on this list, yet here it is...

Two fabulous singles and a lot of filler which never really cut it with me, I'm afraid. Morrissey had a great run of singles (and B-sides) following the demise of The Smiths, but didn't hit the ground running with his long players. Bona Drag gives a far better account of his early years as a solo artist than either of his first two studio albums, in my opinion. I'm sure this is not the last I will see of Stephen Patrick Morrissey on this list, but it will probably be the least.

24/1001 I don't know many people who claim to like Elvis Costello - well, I don't know any at all to be more accurate. I like him. Quite a lot, actually, but here's the thing, I'm not sure how I'd go about recommending him to a friend, but if I did it would not be with this album. So, presuming he will appear on this list again, giving me more chance to enthuse about the one-time Mr Declan MacManus in a better context, all I need to say is that this debut - while loved by critics - is pretty underwhelming. While Costello's trademark vocal venom is present from the off, the wit and musical nous is not yet fully formed. Session band Clover pull it off on opener Welcome To The Working Week, and the guitar ornamentation throughout Alison is tasteful within the context of a single I have always had a soft spot for. (The Angels Wanna Wear My) Red Shoes is passable, but beyond that My Aim Is True reveals only brief flashes of Costello's genius. The problem is everything is played dead straight - this is mostly rock 'n' roll, MOR AOR trying to cosplay as new wave and rarely in a convincing way. Later editions benefit vastly from the addition of Watching The Detectives.

25/1001 As a songwriter/musician myself, I know my way around enough instruments, and have a grasp of production to just about get by to compose and record stuff I am reasonably proud of on a kind of hobbyist level. If you could grant me more ability in any of those areas I might take it, but I could get by without it. If, however, you could magically grant me the ability to hear other people's music and pick out individual components and fit them together with pieces of other tracks to create something entirely new, I would bite your hand off. Hip-hop is a true artform, and being able to hear existing musical phrases in a new melodic context, in my opinion, is a lot more difficult than one might imagine. At least in terms of getting it right and making it sound... cool. So while, as with NWA, I may not really get some of the cultural references, nore always agree with the themes, I can at least dig the Shogun Assassin steals. Liquid Swords is lyrically dense, and subtly detailed in it's musical reference points. It is laid back, but full of a swagger that is hard to resist. That said, I'd be lying if I said a full album (and not a particularly short one) of straight rap doesn't get hard going for me and this is very one-note in it's delivery and not as varied tempo-wise as other Wu-related projects. But these are minor points which are more to do with my personal preferences - I'm still more than happy to give this four stars - I can completely appreciate why this is up there as a true classic within its genre.

26/1001 You know when you are at an open mic night, and someone is up there on the stool strumming away and whining on, boring the shit out of everyone, and it just goes on and on and you are thinking "for god's sake, someone get him off there"? Well, the worst parts of this album felt like that for me. I have no doubt there is probably a Leonard Cohen song out there that I will fall in love with, but I am not actively seeking it, and it is, sadly, not found on this album. I can't appreciate an LP for lyrical content alone. Respect to anyone who can and gets something out of this, but, sorry - I just can't do it. Not all songs are poetry with an acoustic guitar; not all poetry with an acoustic guitar is a song. Songs Of Love And Hate is just too dull, too frequently. On second listen, I warmed a little to the sparingly used orchestration which added at least a little movie score-style tension to proceedings, albeit briefly. Beyond that, only the relatively jaunty Diamonds In The Mine gets a "full band" treatment and adds anything approaching variety. Sorry, Leonard, maybe next time...

27/1001 Being in my prime (ha!) in the late 90s, I am aware of the name David Holmes but only vaguely know what he is all about - DJ, producer, film scores, remixer etc from the more alternative end of the dance spectrum - and have not listened to this album until now. Entirely instrumental, the music here is very much of its time, referencing a fairly eclectic spectrum of late-90s electronica but with a less chart-friendly vibe than your Fatboy Slims and Basement Jaxxes. Not necessarily my bag, this is inoffensive background music lacking any massive hooks (or any vocals to speak of at all) that manages to be interesting and a bit dull at the same time. If I were a DJ, I can imagine slipping some of these tracks into a 90s indie set to add a bit of variety, perhaps. The street chatter which punctuates the album (*checks notes* recorded by Holmes on a trip to New York 10 years earlier) doesn't really add much in my opinion, although some tracks do incorporate the recordings more creatively. It's all right, and does what it says on the tin, but I'm not sure it warrants being on this list and I'm not sure I'd return to it for my own listening pleasure too soon.

28/1001 I was at primary school in the early 80s. From my experience, I'd suggest there was a point during that decade where affection for The Beatles was probably at it's lowest point, when there were few things as uncool as actually liking The Beatles' music. "What, that old 60s shit?" Despite this, without it ever being on the national curriculum, I reckon I was as familiar with the song Yellow Submarine as I was any popular nursery rhyme or hymn I might have routinely come into contact with as a pre-teen growing up at that time. That was how much The Beatles had permeated culture by this point, this was the impact they had, whether it was cool to like them or not. And that is arguably the weakest musical moment on Revolver - even Ringo's novelty song was still being sung in playgrounds more than a decade on. Of course, come the mid-90s, certain events in the UK music scene conspired to provide The Beatles with the renaissance they deserved. Look, it's all been said before, hasn't it - all I can really add is that it is all warranted. The fab four and George Martin were creating magic at this point in their careers - every song is crackling with an absolutely irrepressible energy; every song a unique and fully-formed exploration of different themes and sounds. Almost 60 years since its release, that energy is still as thrilling as ever. Amazing stuff. I expect it'll be a long, long while before I draw anything to match this in my 1001. (Watch Pet Sounds come out next...)

Repetitive musical motifs adapt and take on new meanings as the improvisation and rhythms around them constantly evolve and alter the musical context, like shifting river of mercury weaving it's way down a gentle incline. It's intriguing stuff and the performances are sublime. It's also - to this listener - dull as dishwater. More interesting than the only Miles Davis entry I have encountered thus far, but every bit as inaccessible to my tastes in music, I'm afraid.

30/1001 I'm just about old enough to remember Nick Heyward being touted as the next big thing, a musical genius who was going to conquer the world. He did go on to enjoy brief solo success after Pelican West, but Haircut 100 faltered without him, managing just one further poorly-received long player, and it's fair to say neither really equalled the relative success of this debut album. Choppy, funky clean guitars, exotic percussion, way too much saxophone, cringe-worthy Brit-rap and a preoccupation with cliched early-80s themes are order of the day here - it was a strange time when skiing holidays, larking about on yachts and rolling around in autumn leaves wearing chunky, cable knit Aran sweaters seemed to be all anyone aspired to. Not as cutting as The Style Council, not as cool as Orange Juice, and not as unashamedly poppy as Wham!, Haircut's music seems to trickle into the cracks left by their contemporaries rather than claim it's own unique territory. It's all very lightweight stuff, the vocals tend to drift by rather than grab your attention, and the arrangements soon get repetitive. There's a surprising amount of subtle instrumentation on offer here, but variety of playing does not seem to translate to variety of end product, and sadly all you take away from the experience is the jazz-funk stabbing and and overload of brass. Which is a shame, because everyone else was doing that sound in 1982. That said, in Favourite Shirts, Love Plus One and Fantastic Day this album boasts three buoyant, if vaguely similar, hit singles which are very much of-their-time slices of enthusiastic pop fluff. I can't deny I've got a certain nostalgia-fuelled fondness for them - Nobody's Fool, included on later reissues, is a decent pop seven-inch too. The album tracks never threaten to match that same level of quality, but do improve a little on repeated listens, to be fair. I really shouldn't, but I'm going to give it two stars.

31/1001 Whenever someone has to TELL you they are funny, whacky, zany or interesting, you can almost guarantee they are not. This has been my enduring take on Cyndi Lauper. That said, I can't deny Girls Just Wanna Have Fun has also endured, and deservedly so - it's an attention-grabbing, catchy, bratty pop single which sounds remarkably fresh and energetic to this day. Time After Time is a fair enough ballad - not my cup of tea though - and she did that song for The Goonies as well. Oh and True Colours, I know that one, of course. But we are getting ahead of ourselves there... really, listening to this album for the first time was just a matter of how long before her vocals began to grate. And to be completely honest, I was surprised to find Lauper's voice was the one thing that kept me interested through the middle-of-the-road offerings here, if anything she adds a bit of authenticity, and alternative edge, to standard 80s pop/rock fare. As side two plays out, of course, it everything begins to grate, but, credit where credit is due, she has gone up in my estimation a little. I always had her down as a poor man's Madonna, all crazy hair dos and raiding the dressing up box, but no real substance. Which is unfair. As the big singles from She's So Unusual suggest, with decent material, Lauper was worth the attention she demanded. Not my bag, little stands out besides the singles particularly in the second half, but respect to Cyndi, it's not necessarily her fault. Still only one star, but not as awful as Bruce Springsteen at least.

32/1001 Highly-regarded artist and a highly-regarded album, but this is a first-time listen for me (I'm familiar with the title track, obviously), and even after a couple of run-throughs it doesn't really do much for me. Not that there's anything bad here, per se, it's just not my kind of soul music - too much mid to slow tempo material. The production is solid but pretty uninspiring, and, for my money, the first two tracks are the strongest here, from a melodic point of view - from thereon in it becomes a bit formulaic. And there's not really much more I can say; I expected something to match Motown's finest records of the era, but this falls fairly flat in comparison. Not as special a collection of songs as some would have you believe, in my opinion.

34/1001 I've never really got into The Stranglers in a big way, not exactly sure what it is about them. Listening to this album again for the first time in a long while hasn't really revised my opinion. Great singles band, mind, and they certainly improved into the 1980s, but their debut just feels like a real slog to listen to for me. Peaches aside, everything sounds vary samey and melodically uninspired - all bass-driven and energetic, but somehow lacking the raw edge of punk, and the sophistication of pop. The addition of an organ certainly goes some way to setting them apart from their peers, but the songwriting here rarely makes the most of this novelty. Bands like Magazine, for example, made far more interesting records using similar building blocks. It's ok, not the worst album in the world I suppose, but, nah, there's nothing anywhere near on par with Golden Brown here.

35/1001 Don't be fooled - it may seem like the musicians are all playing different songs at the same time, and it may seem like the good Captain has taken too much LSD and is simply growling his addled thoughts into a Dictaphone at random - but the resulting sound is actually far, far worse than that. Look, I'm a fan of psychedelia, particularly late-60s psychedelia - that is my thing, as it were. But this is just dumb, childish noise. And maybe I'm just wrong, given this seems to crop up on best-of lists time after time, but in this case I'm quite happy to remain wrong.

Genuinely gave it a chance, but this is not for me on any level, sorry. I'm sure she means every word, but musically it didn't take me anywhere interesting.

36/1001 As someone who spent my first couple of years as a guitar player locked in my room trying to learn widdly-widdly solos, mistakenly thinking the end goal was to become some kind of Steve Vai guitar hero, I have listened to a lot of metal albums. This is not one of them - and I wasn't missing anything. It's puerile, repetitive, and musically really rather dull.

37/1001 Slickly produced, pleasant to listen to, and nothing really I can fault about it in those respects. Ultimately, though, this is not an album I would ever choose to listen to - which, I suppose, is the whole point of this exercise, but in this case, Immigrés does not expand on my understanding of what an album is and can be conceptually. It is just a recording of some music from a different culture.

38/1001 Bolan's confidence in what he was doing, when combined with his ear for a decent, but simple, pop singalong shines through during the best moments of Electric Warrior. Elsewhere, a dreary reliance on 12-bar riffery exposes the limitations of the format and its inspiration. There is some subtlety - the trademark 70s drum slap-backs still sound fresh on the album's best arrangements - but it also does sag in places through lack of variety. Far from perfect, but there are enough straight-up solid tunes here to lift this above the average. I'm not a massive fan, but I can see why Bolan was such a big name before his untimely death. Cosmic Dancer is great, the singles are fine, and the quality is spread more thinly among the remaining tracks, but it is rarely awful.

A totally unrewarding experience - musically malnourished, and lyrically a bit juvenile.

40/1001 I don't know who I've pissed off, but getting Suicide, then this back to back? Look, I'm genuinely going into this with an open mind, and am hoping to find hidden gems among genres and artists I might not usually consider listening to. I know people who enjoy sound collages, and experimental stuff of that ilk, and I can even see how that kind of thing is probably a lot of fun to produce. But this is beyond niche for me - it is bordering on anti-music (and I also get that there is not necessarily anything implicit in "1001 albums" which says they have to be albums of music). There is, I must confess, craft to what Liars are doing here, but that does not change the fact that the end result is an absolute chore to listen to. ZX Spectrum loading noises? I love them, but not in a song. Why?