A Grand Don't Come For Free

This is totally terrible. The flow just isn't there and every line just seems jerkied away. A white british man whinning about his first world problems "boo hoo, my biscuit broke and got soaked in my tea, I'm sad". Ridiculous.

Soooo bad... but nice to dust off the 1.

2002, along with continuing the streak of every year of this millennium being utterly crap, saw the release of Original Pirate Material, the debut album by The Streets, a garage/hip-hop homegrown work by Mike Skinner, a talented emcee from Birmingham, who pretended to be Cockney to the bones. Now, I started university in 2002, and beforehand I spent some time in London, and I can tell you that Original Pirate Material was everywhere in the capital, for good reason. Original Pirate Material presented a recognisable portrait on contemporary youthful London life, both hedonistic yet somehow unsatisfied, loving the pub-club-spliff-takeaway treadmill yet wondering if life should be so shallow and focused on instant gratification. Mike Skinner proved a witty, incisive lyricist, a man steeped in that British tradition of the clever-beyond-his-class songwriter, and it demonstrated that UK hip-hop, oft a kicking-boy of British music, could foster an independent, worthwhile voice. This is not to say Original Pirate Material was perfect; many found The Streets grating and oafish with justifiable reasons. But I was not one of them, and I had moderately high expectations for what The Streets would achieve in the future, and A Grand Don't Come For Free could have cemented Mike Skinner as one the great British lyricists. I hated it. I found this album abysmal. It is the sound of a starving artist being offered a banquet, then pigging out and disgusting everyone by pouring custard onto a beef wellington and subsequently vomiting all down his front. Every decision made on this album proves to be exactly the wrong one, and I have no idea why this, instead of Original Pirate Material is on the list. Harsh, I know, but the deterioration from the first album to the second is palpable. For his second magnus opus, Mike Skinner deciding to make a concept album. That sound you just heard was you releasing the safety catch off your grandad's luger. So, a concept album about a poor young man who meets a girl, blows all his dosh on an ill-considered bet, gets drunk/stoned/pilled-up, loses the girl, then either sits in his flat resenting his bad run of luck, or finds a grand down the back of the TV (yes, that last part makes absolutely no sense). As a narrative, it sounds and is pretty banal. But the main issue with the story is that even though the chap goes through a series of common experiences, the listener doesn't empathise with him at all. He just seems such a twat. He goes through these experiences with little genuine reflection, almost like a philosophical zombie, an entity with no internal life whatsoever. The girl leaves him because she clocks that he is just a loser, an opinion with which the listener agrees. The albums second greatest weakness is that you just don't care about him. The biggest weakness? Mike Skinner's rapping. All his talent, all the lyrical flair on the first album has vamoosed. Try saying this couplet: I might ask my mates where they'll be drinking From the sofa giving them a ding Seriously, just say it. It feels awful in the mouth, because it is an incorrect use of metre. The entire album is constructed from similarly jackknifing lines, lines which invariably end in the worst rhyming couplets conceivable. Again, look at the cited example, which manages to be both lazy and laborious. And then Mike somehow succeeds in making it worse by STRESS-ING EV-ER-RY SYL-LAB BLE. Mike Skinner seems to be aiming not so much for Roots Manuva as Pam Ayres. A Grand Don't Come For Free is one of the most wince-inducing cases of second album syndrome I have heard. The biggest hit from this was Fit But You Know It, which was a huge song at the time. Fit But You Know It doesn't quite slot into the risible concept of the album, which can only be to its credit. But consider the song's half-life. Dapper Laughs was a comedy character by an already-forgotten estate agent-turned comedian, whose schtick was short skits on Vine depicting a wilfully crass lad (his catchphrase was "Proper moist!"). His routines consisted of 6-second bits where he would say, for instance, you shouldn't eat a banana next to a gay man, as he'd think you'd want to suck him off (ba-dum-tsh!). ITV2 (the number tells you it's crap in advance) gave him a short-lived TV show, where he tried to parody dating advice shows by granting his wit and wisdom to actual members of the public (such as shouting out "GET YOUR GASH OUT!" to show off your adventurous side). A few rape jokes down the line, his show got put out of our misery, and the comedian had to go on Newsnight and announce he was retiring the character. Anyway, the theme tune to Dapper Laugh's show was Fit But You Know It. That's what I now associate the song with: a pillock shouting at passing women to show him their boobs for proper bants.

A cool concept, but honestly so much of the album was just annoying, both the whining and the rapping and beats themselves. I like the idea of the album far more than the execution.

What the fuck? Who cares about any of this bullshit? This is the first album in a while that felt like it was made specifically to make me angry.

Worst album ever every song just keeps getting worse

On one hand, you could admire the work put in to make something sound so awful on purpose. On the other hand, fuck this shit.

One of most British things I have heard, but it is fantastic!

I knew, before I'd hit play, that I'd give this one a 5. I love The Streets so much. This album, along with Original Pirate Material and The Hardest Way to Make an Easy Living were on regular rotation in my car in the late aughts. The delivery is aggressively conversational, the lyrics deliver a beautifully sharp narrative, and the sparse beats provide the perfect bed for the vocal performance. I just... I just love The Streets. I just do.

This is pretty terrible.

going into this challenge, i knew there would be “filler”. i mean, 1001 is a LOT of albums. but sometimes i feel as if the person who compiled this list is playing a joke on us with some of these albums… thus we get entries like the streets’ 2004 album “a grand don’t come for free”. where do i begin? as i had stated on a previous album in this challenge, something about rapping with Ana english accent that just doesn’t work. not only do you have a primary vocalist who is gratuitously bri ish, every time he raps or “sings” (yes he does both for some reason), it seems as he is about half a second behind the beat. and this becomes even more evident when there are multiple singers concurrently. and from what i could tell, this seems to be some sort of concept album about something or other… but i really couldn’t care less about any of it. as i have stated on a review of a previous concept album (pink floyd’s “the wall”, i think), concept albums are meant to be listened to as an entire work, and you couldn’t pay me enough to listen to this piece of shit again. while it’s not the worst album on this challenge that i have encountered so far, it’s definitely up there. do yourself a favour and avoid this one. it is borderline unlistenable.

A mix between Eminem's "Stan" and some random knob down the local pub who doesn't know when to shut the fuck up, he is constantly babbling as if anyone gives a shit about the inane bullshit he spouts that no one gives zero fucks about. "Yeah people want to hear this" he thinks in his head like an absolute twat he is.

If my son turns out to be autistic I'll be happy he does an album like this in high school. If on the other hand he turns out normal and does this, it will be my greatest disappointment.

Lose a bag of money: try to gamble on soccer to win it back. Go to pub and do drugs Get stoned with girlfriend and watch tv, get in row with girlfriend, go to pub and try to pick up hot girl, insult her and get in fight. . ZThis album is pure gold.

Jesus christ.

Tis good. Cool to hear hints of early dub-step in the background. You can tell this album really set the stage for a lot of music that followed it.

Interesting as a concept but not as good as Original Pirate Material.

2004 was a strange time, let’s not talk about it again.

Yeah, this ain't it.

This album is almost at the very bottom of my ranking, but I guess I can appreciate that it has a concept and isn’t as boring as some of my other 1-star albums. The rapping on this album is extremely grating, though, which is the biggest problem since there’s not much else going on. The instrumental parts are just generic. I don’t understand why this is here at all.

A fantastic companion piece to Arctic Monkeys' debut album. Every word feels perfectly chosen to draw out comedy or poignancy to the max. As a result, I really enjoy the repetition of phrases over and over again. A fantastic snapshot of early 2000s Britain, one to enjoy further in the future.

Grand 💵

Saved Prior: None Unsaved: 11. What Is He Thinking? 10. Such a Twat 9. It Was Supposed to Be so Easy Saved: 8. Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way 7. Get Out of My House 6. Blinded by the Lights 5. Not Addicted 4. Dry Your Eyes 3. Empty Cans 2. Could Well Be In 1. Fit but You Know It Overall Notes: Slowthai if he was a pothead instead of a crackhead. So much personality and witty (and sometimes even sneakily emotionally impactful) writing all over this thing, I love it. The complete lack of hooks is a little annoying but I got used to it. Incredible concept album. If you give it a chance this is one of my favorite albums yet, but I can understand how the way he raps would be a dealbreaker to some.

As far as concept albums go, this one's a keeper. And it's a U.K. rap/grime concept album, to boot! My only minor reproach is that there are a few underwhelming tracks where the overall narrative takes over the music itself in terms of priority, especially towards the middle. But fortunately, this is not the case on the records' highlights. "It Was Supposed To Be Easy" is a striking opener, Mike Skinner's heavily accented yet clear-as-a-bell lad's voice doing wonders to set up the table and introduce the story *in media res*, as in most great short stories or novels. "Blinded By The Lights" is one of the best depictions of a drunken night ever penned this side of the pond--it's slow pace swaying you into the narrator's hallucinory state of mind as if you were there in that sleazy club with him. Far more straightforward, "Fit But You Know It" is a snarly hit with a catchy rock guitar sample. And "Dry Your Eyes" and "Empty Cans" end the yarn with the right amount of emotions, the latter even serving as a morality tale of sorts about free will and redemption. The strings arrangements on those two last tracks are very subtle, too. They're not strings for Hollywood stuff, they're strings for Mike Leigh or Ken Loach. Which is fitting here. As usual for those five or four-star reviews, I won't add much to what has already been written out there about this particular album. I even fear that I've spoiled the story a little with what I've written so far. But beyond that spoiler alert, what I found really interesting about this sophomore effort is that it was a different way for Skinner to depict that working class world he had already brilliantly explored in *Original Pirate Material*. Here this world of lads, lasses and geezers is viewed through the lens of a particular narrative, and such storytelling ambition often feels earned. Because Skinner keeps it sharp and simple, right as it should be given the topics he chose to deal with. It's a story about characters having mundane challenges in their social and love lives--characters having money issues, passing deluded thoughts and self-denial phases, not to mention addictions that might turn from a minor problem to a major one if left unchecked. But mostly, it's a story about simple folks. It's a rap opera, yes. But it's a rap opera about us as a people. [Number of albums left to review or just listen to: 982 Number of albums from the list I find relevant enough to be mandatory listens: 8 (including this one--but only on the condition there's room for *Original Pirate Material*, too) Albums from the list I *might* include in mine later on: 6 Albums from the list I will certainly *not* include in mine (as I think many others are more important): 4 Albums on which I feel my judgment is muddled by my past forays into specific genres instead of others (some might end up on my final list if they're culturally important): 1]

Take the worst parts of Rap and Opera and you get Rap Opera. To quote the lyrics - "this is a crock of shit". I can't believe that not only did people actually buy this dire album, but that it's also included in the book 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die.

Yikes! This was awful and feels like a joke is being played on the audience. The accent while rapping is awful and the singing is abysmal. The flow and lyrics are atrocious.

Nope. No way uh uh.

Jesus. Fucking. Christ. This is a joke right? The rapping is so fucking bad. If you told me this was some kids rap album they made in their bedroom for fun, I'd be like "oh good job! impressive for someone to do themselves" but this was commercially released. I seriously thought with the last 11 albums or so I was done with the dregs and I'd get some mediocre crap but seriously... this was shit.

too bri'ish didn't make it through

The "harmonies" on this album are monotonous, the music without melody. I know it's rap, but it is as dull as a room painted black with black furniture. Not for me. 1.5/5

The rap flows are awkward and clunky, the hooks are annoying and the lyrics are boring and uninspired. I’m surprised this is popular.

0.5

Ok if you’re gonna make a story album, the story has to be a a lot more interesting than some burnout chud losing cash and later finding it to deal with how lame and annoying this whole shitty album was. British music with yet another blemish. 1 star

No thank you

When I read the description I was excited because the rap opera sounded so different. But it was just not enjoyable to listen to.

sounds like poop

No va

Another shit album

Overall: 1/10 This dude sounds exactly like Taron Egerton! I hate it. The beats are trash and his flow is awful. The concept isn't interesting and the protagonist is unlikable. Never listening to this one again. Fav Song: Could Well Be In Least Fav Song: It Was Supposed to Be So Easy

Hated

I'm fairly confident you could die without listening to this album and still live a musically fulfilled life.

This was pretty bad. Spoken word poetry masquerading as rap over a mess of backing beats.

Thanks I hate it

Okay, starting off with the horns...is this a good sign? British rap?! Did I just get the ick?

Garbage

Awful

Can’t focus on lyrics with whole thing being just bad

Yeah musically not there

yea booyyyyyyy This is Ali G trying to play it straight, but failing.

Why would anyone listen to this? Don't get it, 1 star or F-.

Nope. No way.

C(rap). Diisappointing, grated on just about every level.

I wish I had died before this

Is this music? 1/5

First track: possibly the worst thing I've ever heard. Second track: It's not getting any better. Fuck this is abysmal. So bad I couldn't listen to it. So sad to live in a world where this album exists. Zero rating

I gave it a shot but I’ve never understood the hype around The Streets. It’s just…men who can’t sing, talking.

No one needs to hear this before they die.

Look mate, I like British rappers. Stormzy, Little Simz, Dave, even love some Damon Albarn raps. This is the clumsiest, sauceless, arhythmic rapping I’ve heard since dudes in the 80s. It sounds so childish and awkward, I mean Dr. Seuss levels of rhyme schemes here

Took me a while to realize this isn't just a shitty troll album, people actually listen to it and like it LOL

This sounds fucking terrible.

the beats on this unironically sound like the "evil type beat" memes, minus the goofy sound effects (the fun part). The delivery is horrible and british and when the guy tries to sing it isn't much better. I hope DIzzee Rascal can forgive me for giving him that 2 because i now know that it can get so much worse.

Aversion. Bemused resentment. "People always say that they would rather have Chlamydia than the Birmingham accent" is a purile yet felicitous analogy, if we are to play social peccadilloes and avoid talking about our own shivvers of prejudice towards group of people we are unqualified to insult or look down on. I can't take it seriously; yet I don't detect irony or satire. To quote him; “it tastes like hairspray”

1. eazy - 0 2. could - 0 3. addicted - 0 4. lightz - 1 5. uuay - 0 6. houze - 1 7. fit - 0 8. tuuat - 0 9. thinking - 0 10. eyez - 1 11. canz - 0

I was already some what familiar with the streets and very surprised to see an album on this list. In my experience he's a very acquired taste. Loved this album album, start to finish. It told a story, that by the end I was just hanging on to see what happened. I always felt his music itself was on the simpler side of things, but it really gives the vocals and lyrics the chance to shine. The previous albums I knew, I don't recall being a story start to finish, so this concept was unexpected and executed wonderfully.

Looking at the average score and the comments, it looks like this doesn’t resonate with those outside Britain. It’s a work of art all the way through

In one single moment, your whole life can turn 'round I stand there for a minute, staring straight into the ground Lookin' to the left slightly, then lookin' back down The world feels like it's caved in, proper sorry frown Please let me show you where we could only just be for us I can change, and I can grow, or we could adjust The wicked thing about us is we always have trust We can even have an open relationship if you must I look at her, she stares almost straight back at me But her eyes glaze over, like she's looking straight through me Then her eyes must have closed for what seems an eternity When they open up she's looking down at her feet Dry your eyes, mate I know it's hard to take, but her mind has been made up There's plenty more fish in the sea Dry your eyes, mate I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts But you've got to walk away now, it's over This album tells a story, and its a hell of a tale. 5/5

I think A Grand Don't Come For Free is a pretty sweet album. I'm normally not high on concept albums/rock operas, but this takes the idea of having a cohesive narrative throughout the album and makes it work. I think the rapping/speak singing makes it somehow less cheesy than when a traditional rock band does it. It kind of feels like a UK Garage version of the first few Hold Steady albums. This genre of music definitely isn't something I normally gravitate towards, but I think Mike Skinner really elevates it. Highlights for me are "Fit But You Know It", "Blinded By the Lights", "Dry Your Eyes" and "Empty Cans". 4.5 stars.

I love this album, along with The Streets' first and second albums. This one, though, being a whole story all the way through does get elevated even above the great music and style. I'd probably be tempted to give this a 4.5, if we could do half stars, but I can't give it 4 based on how good it is and how much I enjoy listening to it every time I do. Songs like "Blinded by the Lights" and "Dry Your Eyes" are just beautiful and give me goosebumps.

Maybe as important as Quadrophenia.

So split between a 4 and a 5 but the story of the album, the humour, the songs- It's a 5

There really isn't anyone else like The Streets/Mike Skinner, they capture a certain aspect of British culture in a way nobody else does. The lyrics are often funny and interesting and the beats are also really unique. The over enunciated delivery is great when it works and annoying when it doesn't, not addicted in particular gets on my nerves. By and large though if you're in the mood for the streets nobody else will do. 4.5.

Simply amazing

I'm not very versed in English rap, but a phrase like "the man in the white top at the MacDonald's car park" made me an instant-fan. This album's got an alluring charm all over it.

This is a true masterpiece. Peak euro rap. Everyone who thinks different is a peasant.

5/5 - well that was surprising

One of the all time great concept albums.

I really loved this, and just for being very British, one extra star...

I reckon a whole lotta buggers think this album’s rubbish but I say that’s poppycock!! This was so intriguing I was engaged the whole time. Would not listen again but the experience was magical. I was lowk in an altered state of mind when listening tho. The English accent is the only reason this album worked, it’s very stupid tho. Cheerio bruvs! 12/10

Так, ну что-то интересное. Первый же трек это рассказ про "плохой день" от какого-то британца. Странный вокал, музыка зачем-то оркестровые духовые использует, это прям тоже странно. Но по крайней мере интересно слушать А, это рэп-опера. Ооооо... интересный жанр. Окей, оцениваем, оцениваем. Я не жалею, что открыл текст песен, потому что британский английский это кошмар конечно. Но альбом пушка. Интересный звук, интересная подача и вообще, сюжет, господа! Любовь, расставание, насилие. Мне очень понравилось. Эта пять.

5/5. I don't know what it is, it feels objectively bad but it has an energy that I really dig. The singing is mostly terrible but the beats go hard and there is a sense of amateur vibe that feels so real and raw. The story is silly and feels like an unreliable narrator that makes you second guess what you are listening to. It somehow ends really beautifully, making me really feel for the main character. This was a great listen, unique and well-written, and subverts a lot of expectations for what could be an enjoyable album. A 5 for sure.

Only an absolute clown would rate this album lower than a three…

Alt Hip Hop is definitely not a genre I'm overly familiar with, so take this with a grain of salt: this album was a blast and a half. The lyrics told some great stories. Fit but You Know It is hilarious. Incredibly witty writing combined with some really well done instrumentals make this a memorable album. I hope to get more like them.

I fucking love this album. Wore it out. Thought this dude was going to be the biggest musician on the planet. An epic story. Great production. Grime/Drill before we all fell in love with it. This would have destroyed on TikTok. Maybe it still will.

cool

1: It’s a narrative-driven concept album where basically nothing happens, narrated by a man who sounds like he’s never rapped before in his life. I was going to provide a whole list of other reasons why this album is excellent, too, but honestly if you need it explaining then you’ll probably never get it anyway (and you’re probably not from the UK). Besides, it’s hard enough remembering my opinions without remembering my reasons for them.

Mike Skinner took the grandiose rock opera and turned it into a unique account of everyday mundane life in Britain anno 2004. It's hilarious, riveting, and touching, and an immensely rewarding listening experience, although demanding your full attention. Some people have an issue with Skinner's flow and rhyming. Those people are plain wrong.

If “So You Think You Can Britain” was a competition, Mike Skinner would win every year. His flow is unique and might take some getting used to, but he’s always on point, sharp-witted and fun with a knack for storytelling. A Grand Don’t Come For Free is so British it hurts. And I just love it.

Just as good as finding an envelope full of money in the back of your TV.

YAAAAAY. i love the streets so so much, from every single one of their albums there is something great, im not much of an album listener i guess, i just pick all my favourites and keep it moving so this will be fun to listen to the whole thing in order, but i love them and will be surprised if i don’t like it, in my head it’s already 5 stars ngl. One of the best albums of all time, i fucking love mike skinner so so much and it made me so nostalgic for the early noughties and this will be in my weekly rotation from now on, but not just single songs, as an album because the story makes so much more sense all put together and i just think the streets are perfect, i would give it more than 5 stars if i could, and i miss authenticity like this in music, and originality.

It’s funny how a couple of years ago I’d have said that I didn’t understand the appeal with The Streets and that they were naff. Then around a year ago I listened to Original Pirate Material by them which I loved, and since listened to this album too. I didn’t review this album at the time, so I’m excited to have been generated it today. Songs I already knew: all of them Favourites: Dry Your Eyes, Fit But You Know It, Get Out Of My House, Could Well Be In If you’ve heard any of the above songs but haven’t heard this album in full, I’d recommend it so strongly. Plenty of songs here can stand out as good, but when listened back to back as an album it is something incredible. The album follows a narrative of stolen money, love and breakups and it had me hooked as if it was a drama tv show, whilst also being catchy enough to make me want to dance. This is probably up there as one of my top 10 albums of all time.

Every beat and every rhyme here tell stories. That may seem like the standard but truly their amazing tales. Told by an expert teller. Heartbreak, love and the mistakes we make are all front and center and I for one was more than happy to be in the audience to experience it!

Cute little story to hold the whole album together. Highlights would be the catchy “fit bit you know it” and the chill “blinded by the lights”. Funny one liners thought out. Album I’ve listened to many times and had no issue listening to again.

Love this one. The first time I listened to this, I had no clue what I was listening to. But it grew on me and it’s in the regular rotation now.

In some ways I find this album hilariously bad but it really works, like really works. It’s probably one of the easiest concept albums to follow as it’s in spoken word chav voice which works in its favour, the beats are very good as well but don’t go expecting something super high brow or anything. Personally though it’s still a 5.

“I just stopped sharking for a minute to get chips and drinks.”

threepenny opera

SLAPS

Great album. spent all day listening to the The Streets after this was suggested.

Absolute genius

Unadulterated filth of an album. Best of the 00s.