yknow in like, cartoons or teenybopper sitcoms when the characters knock over a vase, and they gotta glue and duct tape it back together and comedically hope that the owner of said vase don't notice that it's been shattered into a million pieces? the Butthole Surfers knocked over rock music on purpose, tried to tape it back together on Locust Abortion Technician, and it is now your duty to see how long you can humor them and pretend it's still rock and not a pile of shattered debris on a pedestal.

it's not that it's too long, although that's part of it. it's not the terrible funky Clavinets on "Custard Pie" and "Trampled Under Foot", although that didn't help. it isn't that they make "In My Time of Dying" 11 minutes long and really sexual about Jesus in the last third, it isn't the stupid wedding music in the middle of "In the Light", and that boring final stretch that REALLY makes you tired of hearing Jimmy Page say "mama". it's that Physical Graffiti exists as a gluttonous object. we get to see the band's typical "more misses than hits" style now applied to the double album, and we see that nothing has changed. there is enough good music here for an OK album, but for some reason or another, they put out a tiring, exhaustive double album. it's like if you didn't cook enough food for a potluck, so you rummage through your fridge and bring a wagon full of leftovers. then the guests praise this "dish" as your best yet. i mean it's 84 minutes long... and it's got "Kashmir" and "The Rover"! what stick in the mud hates "Kashmir" and "The Rover"? this is a filedump -- and in 1975, a filedump cost $35 dollars in today's money. have you ever seen a classic inaugurated into the canon by sunk cost fallacy?

it's trite. it's been said. it's been a punchline and a dead horse and a nickel in the jar. but man -- not having bass (i will not be saying that word again in the review) on your thrash metal album REALLY makes you come to terms with how fucking bad Lars Ulrich is as a drummer. so many complex songs and all he can do is pound the same three patterns. he's like the guy in "Deacon Blues" who learns to play the saxophone as part of a midlife crisis, and you get the feeling this is his skill ceiling. instead of being OK with his cover band and job as a forklift operator, he's part of the biggest metal band in the world and earns millions from fucking up drum parts in front of thousands of adoring fans for over 40 years at this point. it's equally frustrating because for all the shit around Ulrich, Hetfield and Hammett are going insane on the guitar -- their most ambitious song structures and solos and scooped tones yet. and Lars, he's just not up to snuff. the whole band has to make room for him as he plods through each track. i also don't think that this album should be as long as it is, but i also really couldn't tell you what to cut. there's so much of it; i feel fatigued. "One" kicks ass though -- makes the whole thing worth it at least a little. the key to being a metal superstar is probably "writing songs based off of a book you read" if it and Iron Maiden's "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" are anything to go on.

i like this a little bit more than Pink Moon. yeah i know, it's a stupid contrarian opinion. i know that a Nick Drake album with sax solos shouldn't be anyone's favorite (even if i do think they kick ass). i couldn't even really tell you what wins me over about Bryter Layter. maybe i like Nick Drake with a few more overdubs; it makes him sound a bit less like a hermit, and gives him a complex character in my head rather than this omnipresent idea of the recluse. british folk rock instrumentals also win me over, and that sure is Fairport Convention on this thing. maybe i just like hearing him a bit happier, soul chorus or not. i can't see this album as summer or fall, not in the slightest. it feels like false spring; it's a week of wearing shorts outside and a chilly wind blowing while the sun beams upon you. before the snow falls, everything cautiously shines, and the birds visit their trees as guests.

a teenager's guide to jazz rap -- and that isn't a bad thing! i feel like a lot of people stack this thing up against its follow-up, and to me, that just isn't fair. why should we devalue this album's accomplishments just because it's stacked up against The Low End Theory? pit most albums against TLET and you don't really have to guess which one comes out on top. anyhow, i think what makes People's Instinctive Travels stick out to me is its willingness to delve into being relatively lighthearted. sure, there's a few moments where it gets a little too silly for comfort (and Ham N Eggs is NOT one of them), but for the most part, i feel as if what PIT lacks in maturity it makes up in creativity. q-tip's an incredible MC -- as the main rapper on the album, he better be -- but what mostly carries the album is his and mohammed's production. i can count the number of times i smiled and said "oh my god are they really doing this one" on both hands whenever a sample came up, and yet every single track makes it work. maybe the tribe had yet to mature, but now and then i think we all need to savor when we were a hungry, horny little bastard. you don't stop having fun until the record ends, and then you gotta move on.

i don't really have much experience with reggae (especially roots reggae) but i'm still somewhat familiar with bob marley through cultural osmosis/cheesy references in 2000's comedy films. for some reason he'd always struck me as an overly positive figure with the post-mortem brand reverence of an act like the beatles -- i honestly should have guessed there's actual substance behind the hype when you actually sit down and give him a listen. yeah, it's positive, but its not ignorantly positive. there's obvious trouble in the world, and especially for the african diaspora of which marley was a part of. it's a good attitude in a world that will not stop causing you and your community pain. some of the more spiritual tracks like So Jah Seh don't engage me as much (i am broadly unfamiliar with most Rastafarian practices) but i don't ever feel like i was being annoyed or preached to. i even kind of like the traditional pop cover on side B! the production is really well done as well, all the instruments feel at the right place in the mix -- that creamy 70's studio goodness. the performances are great and much more unique than i would have thought from the general idea i was given of reggae being a slow, languid genre. sure, maybe there's a couple slow moments, especially on side b, but the only reason this is an 8 instead of a 9 is because i feel like i don't have the context that a more astute reggae/ska/dub fan would have on a record like this. if i revisit this after having heard more jamaican music, i might increase it. who knows? i feel like i've learned something. i might check out more of marley's records later. maybe i don't buy the hype fully, but i at least know that he's immensely talented and MUCH more introspective than i was led to believe.

went into this expecting to hate it and... i surprisingly don't? don't get me wrong, i still think a good amount of this album is a bit generic, but i don't really think i could muster up any vitriol for it. it's definitely one of those albums that're carried by the first track on either side, but it's very well crafted and played rock music. i never found myself zoning out or rolling my eyes at an "ooh baby do i love ya" lyric. it's nothing to write home about, but i mean that as positively as possible. it's like finding a quarter on the street and putting it in your pocket -- all you can really say is "neat" and move on. i'd come back for the singles and most of the B-side for sure. and man, can Knopfler play.

one of those intrinsically perfect things. maybe you could make the argument that there's too many slow solo piano songs in a row or the soul songs are a weird contrast to the jazzier and more serious songs, but it'd be a bad argument and a wrong one too -- i'm disgusted that i even had to make up an argument against Wild is the Wind. "too many slow piano songs" you mean "Lilac Wine"? or "Four Women"? get out. it's an indisputable classic. nina simone was a god among her fellow man and i don't trust anyone who doesn't like her. sorry. actually, no i'm not sorry. if you don't like nina simone, take some time out of your personal life and try to figure out why. pin down a reason or get a doctor's note or something.

an odd middle period in Elvis's career -- between the heartthrob movie star sell-out and the gun-toting Vegas gospel singer with Coke cups on his piano, there was a period that felt... oddly classy? Young Elvis, Movie Elvis, Classy Elvis, Fat Elvis? sure. im somewhat surprised how enjoyable this LP is given Elvis's reputation as a jukebox king rather than a beast of the album era, but barring a throwback or two, it feels coherent and progressive. i dunno, maybe it's a dirty trick to use the back-up singers on so many songs but it's a damn good trick. there's a couple duds, like "After Loving You" or "It Keeps Right On A-Hurtin'", but i can really only call them duds insofar as they remind me more of Movie Elvis than the tracks surrounding them do. who knows what would have happened if Elvis kept making album albums instead of "compilation of studio recordings" albums? did the King have a Sgt. Pepper's in him? we'll probably never know, but if it was true in another world i doubt i'd be surprised.

the template for everything that came after. it's not perfect, but it really doesn't need to be. i mean, you don't have to like drinking water to know it's important to everything alive on the planet. i'll put it this way: 100% of all funk owes its existence to James Brown, that is indisputable. in that same vein, 80% of all jazz-funk owes its existence to Head Hunters (with a remaining 20% of consideration for Miles Davis's works in the 70's). what more can i say? Chameleon is everything.

the soundtrack to a 30-something homeless guy rider mowing his way across america for quarters and soda-pop. not conceptually of course -- the record lacks concept (and a lot of cohesion) but it does have the feeling of trying to recapture a forever lost youth. the songs kinda melt together into a big hunk of pop, like leaving a box of Mike n Ikes in your car overnight. yeah, i like Mike n Ikes, and i don't think i'd feel sick or whatever, but eating the whole block kinda gives you (heh) a headache. maybe it hits harder on a long drive, but i honestly think this is one of the few cases of "too much good music brings the whole experience down". (this is why im not much of a fan of "the best of" albums. it can't ALL be pop chart darlings all the time.) i like it, but i don't like THAT much of it. despite this glut of hook and fuzz, i still don't think i hated a single song on the record. except "fiddle riddle". what the fuck was that, frank

i've always viewed The Clash as the aging punk's Led Zeppelin: a collection of white guys taking cues from traditionally black music being revered as the only band that really matters -- the last bastion of Reel Rawk before it was pussified, removed of its bite, London Calling being a shining example of said Rawk. which is strange, because London Calling isn't a particularly rock-y album! it's mostly a pop album! if The Clash lacked the hype they had, if it was ANY other band, this would be seen as a bit of a betrayal. if you were so inclined, you could make a case for this being an overlong sell-out album. why isn't that the case? well, there's a lot of good songs on it, stupid. maybe the first few songs of the project is a bit off-putting: following the title track with a kind of generic rock song doesn't set high expectations, and i cannot get down with "Jimmy Jazz", but "Hateful" and "Rudie Can't Lose" make up for it. London Calling wins you over, and i think that's why it's been so well loved over the years. it's got hooks for days and great production, and for a double album, it's definitely got a good pace and a lot of variation to make the time feel a lot shorter than it actually is. "revolutionary pub rock" isn't a genre, but if it was, it'd be this album and a bunch of cheap imitators. hell, i think most of the ska songs are essential. i don't think there's a single non-ska artist with multiple ska songs you can say that about other than the Clash. London Calling is good. controversial, i know.

a sound coming together so strongly it honestly makes me a little mad. so many bands spend albums finding out who they really are. Garbage were sure -- and right -- on their first album. bubblegrunge guitars and Hacienda beats go together like cheddar and grapes; maybe it's not your first inclination, but when you do it for the first time you just can't stop. i guess you could call it a "grebo" album, but the reason people prefer "Stupid Girl" over "Unbelievable" by EMF or "Right Here, Right Now" by Jesus Jones (now there was a band) is because "Stupid Girl" has butch vig and those other songs have some asshole from Britain in a pre-war town, blissfully deceiving themselves that the Teen Spirit Bomb will never drop and destroy their little lives. Garbage are post-apocalyptic warriors, dressed in the clothes of the burnt past and the chains of the new world, ready to take on the ruins.

i've already heard Kind of Blue before taking the wacky 1001 albums challenge and upon relistening my take is unfortunately somewhat similar: i like jazz, and i like cool jazz, but Kind of Blue is so subtle in its progression of the genre that i can't really take as much from it as someone with actual musical education would. i feel like a moron saying this, but avant garde jazz is a bit easier for me to listen to because i know there's something wrong -- there's a loud horn, discordant notes, hour long pieces. when an album is so perfectly normal, it makes it harder to pick out parts of it that i like without treating its artistic expression as simple background noise, and it frustrates me. two years after my first listen, i can appreciate how it sounds a bit more (i still have a woeful lack of jazz education but am familiar with a larger breadth of your straight ahead bop and modal) so i'd say its closer to a 9 than an 8 nowadays. it sounds nice! i just wish i could speak its language!

first complaint: i dunno if it was just the spotify version or if it's just how the album is produced, but this whole thing has such high, piercing treble that it's hard to enjoy this thing on headphones. that's probably my biggest complaint. second complaint: i don't really like her weird attempts at merging flamenco with r&b. put the guitar down. third complaint: i am not a fan of Christina's inspirational ballads. i think "Beautiful" is the chintziest song of all time and other songs like "Soar" don't do a much better job of winning me over. still, when the album jams, it jams. Aguilera's voice is impressive and she can really do great things to a melody. im kind of a sucker for dated 2000's neo-soul/r&b beats, and the first half of the album does have a lot of them. maybe in a world where this thing wasn't 77 minutes long, it'd be a really great album, but the CD urge to give people their money's worth kind of makes the whole thing feel a bit more tedious than it should be. 7 not 6, but a very shaky 7. my ears might need a little time to recover.

i like Billy Joel. i have no defense for this, nothing to restore the hipster cred lost from this statement. i like his newsboy pop, i like his stupid kids movie voice, i like his weird Peter Lorre stare, i like when his songs come on the radio, i even like the ACK ACK ACK ACK -- have since i was a kid. hell, i even kinda like "Piano Man", and nobody with taste has liked "Piano Man" since 1983. i think The Stranger is a great record and barring "Only The Good Die Young" (even i have limits), i don't think there's a bad song on it. in our confusion, we've forsaken Billy Joel for the world's stupidest crime: making nice music that your mom and dad like. it's not kitsch, it's art.

i think bookends suffers from not having enough ideas to go around -- and there are good ideas. the first half of the album clearly is meant to be about going from youth to adulthood to middle to old age, but unfortunately, the b-side, which feels a bit more like a space saving afterthought, has more musical ideas, and that really shouldn't be the case. still, i like the brief moments of experimentation, and it is nice to have such a short album for the day. why does rym hate old people so much? who knows.

Everyone Knows This is Nowhere's brand of sloppy, loud country rock still blows as many socks off as it did in 1969. people (falsely) claim it invented grunge, but i think it did something even better: it invented neil young. there's something meat-and-potatoes simple about the songs, the most beloved ("Cinnamon Girl", "Down By The River") having been written in a 103 F fever. maybe it shows. but it doesnt matter. you can tell what EKTiN is about from the cover art alone: a grainy picture of a man, but just enough detail so there's no mistaking who it is. plus there's a cute puppy.

surprisingly, "chest fever" is the only non-starter for me on the whole album. i dunno how it's possible for an album to feel like a warm hug, especially with such simple instrumentation, but somehow the Band do it. it makes you wanna take to the guitar and write a few things. plus, don't lie to yourself -- it's fun to sing like Robbie Robertson on "The Weight". we've all done it once or twice.

i was pleasantly surprised to learn that the short tracks people tend to ignore and rate lower over the vocal ones have a chance of being one of two things: 1. an incredibly accurate 70's funk pastiche that doesn't feel porn groovy in the slightest, or; 2. a sorta funny punk song that is over in like a minute. maybe i won't be coming back to heart attack man, but i don't think it was a track meant to be returned to. a stumble, but in no way a fall or penalty. of course, hip hop is the main focus of the album, and songs like "Sure Shot" and "Get It Together" are proof positive it was the right choice. production's incredible, the tradeoffs and lyrics are great (maybe they're not the most serious, but they're very fun turns of phrase), and of course "Sabotage" exists and its presence on the record guarantees i can't hate it. this whole thing feels like the group flexing what they can do, in regards to both their talent and eclecticism. maybe that doesn't work for everyone, but it sure works for me -- they got weird with it and survived! and had a charting rock song from it! boundless respect.

yknow in like, cartoons or teenybopper sitcoms when the characters knock over a vase, and they gotta glue and duct tape it back together and comedically hope that the owner of said vase don't notice that it's been shattered into a million pieces? the Butthole Surfers knocked over rock music on purpose, tried to tape it back together on Locust Abortion Technician, and it is now your duty to see how long you can humor them and pretend it's still rock and not a pile of shattered debris on a pedestal.

first song: ...we want the funk. give up the funk. we want the funk, gotta have the funk... i haven't exactly been fair to heartland rock. in all fairness, the indie rock/public radio scene has been inundated with insufferable imitators. the war on drugs, my morning jacket, the gaslight anthem -- these people have made their trade off of hazy, ignorable music infused with "authenticity", like smoke flavor in a cocktail served in a gentrified "gastropub". there's exposed brick. the wings cost way too much for how middle-of-the-road they are. you've been there (if you live in colorado these places clutter the cities like cholesterol). it's low energy dross that isn't worth the tape it's recorded on. if there's anything you can fault Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers for, it's definitely not lack of energy. there's a driving force behind each song that you never feel lulled into a trance. maybe it's his voice, maybe it's the tempo of the songs, but barring the droll-bordering-dull country balladry of "Mystery Man" and the brief cliche of "Hometown Blues", the record is a packed gunpowder cap that won't stop exploding. there's some odd things i didn't expect from Petty -- "Strangered In The Night" features lyrics about blowing someone's head off and is apparently autobiographical -- but you can see the origins of what was to come from the later hits in the deeper cuts. it's not perfect, but in half an hour of fluorescent midnight, Petty and co. prove themselves. and of course "American Girl". the anthem, the legend, the song of the hour. its the song all these throwback motherfuckers try and fail to write. if some madman made it so "American Girl" played in full was the US anthem, i might actually start standing up at hockey games. patriotism! from me! that's the power of "American Girl", baby.

i will pay you $100 dollars on Paypal if you can find me one bad Fela Kuti song. i'm not kidding. not a weak one, not a "oh it's alright" one, one that is actually bad in a way that is clearly identifiable. Fela and Afrika 70 are the most consistent artists to ever live and the fact that Ginger Baker could slot in with them so perfectly on side b is a miracle. seriously, how do you go from drumming on this to ending up on Band on the Run? you must feel as if you got a peek at the Grail before being struck blind. the Grail, in this case, is Tony Allen.

a classic album -- in the sense that it's structured like a 1950's collection of session cover songs with two or three songs that Rod wrote that you actually wanna hear. "Maggie May" and "Mandolin Wind" are fine, even good, but there is no reason on earth for a cover of "That's All Right" to last that long, even discounting the vocal cover of "Amazing Grace" tacked onto the end. call it anti-rockist poisoning but as nice as the guitars and drums can sound, there just isn't enough to bring me back. is this the first album i've been recommended that i don't really like? i think so

the absolute middle between noisy krautpop Stereolab and future alien pinko lounge Stereolab, and by all accounts the best starting point. i don't think it could ever live up to the pure sonic joy of something like Dots and Loops or Cobra and Phases Group, but in terms of something rough, something analog and retro and yet as futuristic as you could muster, there's not many selections better than Emperor Tomato Ketchup. ...don't look up where the name comes from, though.

i do wish it was shorter (we're having Teenager of the Year problems in short) but you almost have to respect the audacity, the sheer BALLS to sell America and her youth what could be best described as "music to kill your grandma" and then make shit tons of money by doing that. $8's a very impressive vocalist and guitar performances, though somewhat similar, still leave a lasting impression on you when the album ends. my only complaint other than length/slurry is that the songs don't really have anything to do with the characters constructed by the band. what's the point of dressing up in silly proggy costumes if you're not even gonna go all out and make up a stupid musician's plot for them that you explore through music?

the prospect of buying a Frank Sinatra album must be like deciding to buy a loaf of bread or a hammer and nails from king soopers. you always know what you're going to get: a collection of Frank Sinatra standards that more or less are sung the same, backed the same, and presented the same. i have the sneaking suspicion that 1001 Albums doesn't have Watertown or Trilogy on the list, so I don't think I'll be proven wrong. enjoy your bread, enjoy your hammer 'n nails, and enjoy your Frankie.

something about the tracks that aren't the stuff of legend strangely hook me a little bit more than "classic R.E.M." deep cuts. i love that period of R.E.M., they're like that cousin who's cooler and more down to earth than you, but that cousin now has a good job and a house and he's somehow cooler? and that's saying nothing of the two beasts right in the middle of the record. there's no cutting them out. "a serve", as the kids say. is it sacrilege to say i like seminal jangle pop band R.E.M. more after they "sold out"? am i stupid? am i gonna die?

probably the most emotionally direct record of the 90's grunge scene -- Nirvana at least attempted a couple hard to parse metaphors for all their fury. i know exactly what Courtney Love is thinking upon hearing the song's main conceit. this isn't in any way a put down, of course. there's something almost Hemingway-like about the lyrics on "Doll Parts" or "Asking For It" -- you don't have to do a lot of work to get what she's talking about, but it just makes it all the more impactful. in this way, i think the Young Marble Giants cover is fitting. both they and Hole are bands that embrace simplicity, like the pure elegant design of a chunk of metal that we call a crowbar. also my pet conspiracy theory is that Kurt doesn't even sing on the two tracks he's credited on, like how he didn't even really produce anything on Houdini. listen to those songs and tell me if you can pick him out in the mix, cause i sure fuckin' can't.

gushing fanfic of Warp giants from a person who doesn't know what a "mode" or "envelope filter" is ends up accidentally transforming into a mind-blowing post-rock trip, a Polaroid of an abstract never-was present. there exists a world where Kid A never comes out because the band breaks up right before it releases and the tracks get eaten by a hard drive or something. maybe in that world, Radiohead are still widely respected and their big rock statement of OK Computer is still wavering at #2. that world doesn't make me happy. i like the world i'm in where a band with an okay discography suddenly discovers Autechre and in an attempt to emulate them ends up striking gold. it isn't stillbirth on IMAX. it isn't a Pink Floyd ripoff. it's some other third thing. i think that should be its main genre. "Some Other Third Thing". it fits.

it is really odd how a debut album by a 19 year old feels like the full summation of someone's entire "deal". in a lot of ways, that's gotta be both a blessing and a curse; people have both the highest regard for your short body of work and equally high expectations for whatever art you put out after it. in a way i wish i'd listened to a Nas album that wasn't Illmatic before hearing this so i wasn't just stacking the gems of his discography up against... well, Illmatic. overall, it's just a tight record that feels like a document of whatever situation Nas was in when he was writing and performing it, like the best art of young men. you can find little bits of lyricism that pioneer what you hear on hip-hop tracks both later in the decade and to this day. maybe that makes a lot of what it does "old hat", but there's value in studying the blueprint of what makes everything that came after tick. plus, if you don't care for Nas, there's always the all-star beats behind him that make the thing worthwhile. i hope Nas has a lifetime supply of Moet from how much he reps it on this record.

Steely Dan without the irony isn't half bad, but it's still not the same. i think The Nightfly is alright, it works as a jazzy exercise of nostalgia and lost dreams for Fagen himself. there's a lot of good things about it ("I.G.Y." and the title track rival the best Steely Dan songs) but i think what keeps it from being on the level of a Gaucho or even a Katy Lied is that cautious optimism. instead of a man selling me moonshine wrapped in studio candy, i'm just getting a nice bowl of candy. i like candy, and some of it tastes like the moonshine, but i can't help but feel a bit let down that i'm JUST getting this. also, "The Goodbye Look" has got to be the snazziest song about a Mafia casino runner getting executed by Castro this side of the trade embargo. if you're in Cuba and using RYM: 1. how 2. why 3. do they have better songs about similar topics on your end? message me if so.

call me a cornball, i don't care: spaghetti western kicks ass. i think a twangy guitar makes all the difference in western movie and i am glad i am not alone in realizing this. going into this, i felt a bit apprehensive. the hype around the Arctic Monkeys and Alex Turner's body of work has been the most omnipresent and bafflingly large of its kind; AM fans are the Swifties of indie rock. consider me pleasantly surprised when i find that Turner's voice broadly suits the tracks here and assists an incredibly unique Morricone-meets-Bacharach atmosphere for the project. i'm a bit sad he didn't stick with this band more, but i can understand this being a "when we have time on our schedules" project -- we all love spaghetti western, but we don't love it THAT much. or at least, most of us don't. don't speak for me, i won't speak for you.

i... really like this? i dunno, maybe its because i have recently been getting over my "rock the fuck out" aversion, but i really enjoy it when a band that is good at rocking the fuck out does precisely that for 37 minutes. the solos are fun and colorful and holy shit is Steve Harris good at playing the bass. for years i wondered why the hell this silly band with a weird zombie guy for a mascot has this "bigger than the beatles" status and it literally only took me one album for me to understand. if Di'Anno's the second best singer in Iron Maiden, what the hell is Bruce Dickinson gonna sound like?

i have a pet theory that #1 Record invented the 70's. not the decade itself, but the sound, the feel of the thing. i thought i would be able to look back at this and go "oh well there's some Stones here and some Beatles there" but to the extent that those bands are there, they're obscured, dressed up in colorful clothing and leather jackets. chalk it up to 50's nostalgia but by combining that with the psychedelic tendencies of the 60's, Big Star made something wholly unlike what came before it. in the past i think i judged this album a bit harshly due to its tendencies towards folk over the power pop we typically associate Big Star with. "where's my album of El Goodos? my Feels?" now that it's been a few years, you grow to appreciate the trick 1# Record plays. you're invited in by loud, raucous rock before the guitars settle down on the other side. the album grows up; eventually, so do you. watch the sunrise.

"Scarborough Fair/Canticle" is too pretty. i get the intent of pairing a fairy tale song with an anti-war countermelody, but the former is just too delicate and flowery (no pun intended) for me to even really notice the latter. it feels embarrassing to listen to, and not in an "i like this and i'm flustered" way, in a "this is kinda for babies" way. sorry to "Scarborough Fair" fans, but despite my enjoyment of over-medieval bullshit ("Ys", "Peasant", "Pull The Right Rope") it's just a bit too twee for me. i'm a "Girl of the North Country" feller. that aside, i feel like a sub-30 minute would necessitate a good ratio of songs to strongly impress themselves on you, something that i don't think this LP has the juice to do. there's nice deep cuts on the B-Side, with "Flowers Never Bend with the Rainfall" being one of the duo's best songs, but generally i'd say a lot of the leaps taken here don't land as well as they do on the next two albums. ending your album by doing a cover of "Silent Night" over news reports of violence and government oppression might have been searing and thoughtfully ironic in the 60's, but nowadays it's no more daring than the man writing "FUCK" on the subway wall in the previous song. and why is "Feelin' Groovy" so big, anyhow? it's clearly an interlude. maybe i've just heard too much Muzak.

[Artist42165], a band led by [Artist4953]'s guitarist in the 90's, are allegedly named after the tendency of heavy metal musicians who don't scream or growl to go "whuaaaough" really high like Robert Plant. i call it "whoa momma imma love you" voice, but the following fact doesn't change: i gave up on [Album3800] because of Chris Cornell's tendency to do this. why is it so well used here, then? you could probably attribute it to real life psychopath and occasional producer Michael Bienhorn's slick, anal retentive production essentially swallowing Chris. on any given track, he's more often fighting than singing. it makes the wails excusable -- of course he's gotta hoot n' holler, have you [i]heard[/i] the guitars? poor guy's drowning. special mention goes to how the songs are constructed as complex as you could get them by complete mistake. how do you accidentally write a song in 15/8? you've gotta be either naturally talented or just extremely lucky to do that. something tells me Soundgarden are both. one concession: Tom Scharpling is right. "Spoonman" is really dumb. good, but dumb. i think a lot of grunge could be understood by this criteria.

a charming, elegant album. strangely enough, i was much more charmed by Henry and Rollins' saxwork than i was with Thelonious Monk on his own album. one of these people would die the same year this came out, the other would go on to continue a long and illustrious career in jazz and is still alive. it makes you wonder how different things could have been. two people going down wildly different paths in life working together to do beautiful things and then one of you dies. does that person become a part of you, or is that just a section of your mind closed off, meant to be callused over? an aside: its always sweet when i hear Monk humming under the keys as he plays it. you can feel the love in his art.

announcing your pop turn by writing an odd burble of a song about St. Vitus' Dance is a choice i think only Peter Gabriel would make -- as is following that with your biggest pop hit that is inexplicably in 7/4. the Car album probably isn't his best solo effort, but it sets up the general rule that you shouldn't really expect one thing or another from Peter Gabriel; he does what he wants when he wants. folk pop? somewhat tedious blues? tender ballads? stupid Little Orphan Annie bullshit as conducted by bass virtuoso Tony Levin? there is no one direction that Car is headed, and this spreads the project thin, but nevertheless takes it to some beautiful places.

never heard of these guys before. really promising album though, im sure they've got a masterpiece on their hands after this! what, what do you want me to say? "erm, i have something new to say about the Beach Boys' 'Pet Sounds'!" i do not. nobody does. it's like trying to say something new and exciting about Citizen Kane or Moby-Dick. it invented the Great American Pop Album. what more could be said about it that couldn't be said about the Big Bang? thanks, i guess.

the Jimi Hendrix Experience are probably one of the most endlessly charismatic rock groups to come out of the 60's, or probably anywhere. i'd say about 50% of it is Jimi -- generally he's what you think of when you hear the term "rockstar" -- but Mitch and Noel split the remaining half. they're good at both keeping up with him and providing a lot of memorable additions to songs that the guitar just can't muster. most heavy psych/hard rock of the 70's basically copies its homework from how they play, and i think they deserve their due credit. still -- it's the JIMI HENDRIX Experience. you're here for him. sorry "She's So Fine". i could gush over the complexity and energy of the guitar playing, but everyone does that. for good reason, but guitar is guitar. i'm instead gonna make a very risky assumption. i think the reason people come back to Jimi's songs and his records is because of his personality. he's good at writing and playing music, sure, but there's such a draw to his presence; there is a world of tumult and chaos in the guitar and there is a man holding it down and controlling it as true showman would. the Jimi Hendrix Experience is a snake in the hands and a charmer or three to tame it.

incredibly consistent in sound and feel, but a lot of the time on the A-side, i feel as if the deeper cuts have a hard time distinguishing themselves from the other. by virtue of having "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart" on side B, Let's Stay Together sort of prevents this trend from continuing throughout, but it can still be hard to pick each track apart. it's a bit suiting that an album that's generally associated with having sex with someone feels like it was recorded in a hot, kind of sticky room.

it's actually kinda sad. every song tries so very hard to be the best song ever and in isolation, it succeeds. Paul Weller is a pop genius who probably creates his choruses directly by taking part of his life energy and spinning it into something musical. hell, even the "everyone writes on this one :)" song is actually pretty good! it would be stiff competition were it not for one inalienable fact: "That's Entertainment" is the best song ever. not my favorite song of all time, just the best song ever. you can't fight facts.

i was mostly expecting "Roundabout" to be the most fun track on here, but as it turns out, almost every track on the album is fun or bright in a way that i wasn't really expecting from how people regard the band Yes. you expect a big, stodgy, self-important piece of rock (and of course there are important, abstract themes of nature and emotion tackled on here) but on each track there's always a joyful little vocal harmony or a funky little bass part hidden in every corner of this ecosystem. i think there's really only one misstep and it's the weird moogy cover of Symphony in E that took 15 hours to record somehow? outside of that, it's kind of no surprise that Yes turned into 80's Trevor Horn pop the next decade. Yes could do whatever they wanted, but they do melody the best.

i was familiar with Suzanne Vega's work through my mom and her CD of "99 Degrees F", so her poetry and folkisms aren't terra incognito. what WAS a bit of a surprise is how much Windham Hill style production is on her first album -- charming, free flowing, often dated but always clear. even if the actual WH regulars are only on a few tracks, you can't shake the sense that this is a session musician's record; everyone one here is incredibly talented at what they do but would probably never become a superstar beyond the minds of the nerds in the recording booth. i think this also applies to Vega. she's a session singer-songwriter. your favorite bard's favorite bard. a relative unknown despite her care. that is, until a freak accident puts her in the last place you think she'd ever be -- the dance floor.

ive been listening to The Stone Roses' self-titled for years, and every single time i listen to it, the exact same thing happens: its got me hooked for the first couple tracks, then gradually fades me out until i snap back in for the last two songs. pleasant, but not a core part of my personality. i get that it's influential, and despite sounding nothing like its contemporaries basically put "baggy" as a genre on the map, but really it's more useful as a touchstone of british music of the era than it is an undeniable classic that cracks 4.00 on RateYourMusic dot com. there are two types of museums -- art and history. the stone roses sought to build the former, but 35 years on, they've ended up with the latter. there's nothing wrong with history, but i know what i'll pick if ever given the choice between the two.

the first "real" Bob Dylan album, and let me tell you, it's just fine. yeah, it's impressive that someone could write something like "A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall" and "Don't Think Twice" so early in his career, but for any of those greatly poetic tracks you get another that's slavishly devoted to all the folk that came before him -- weedy Guthrie worship and blues picking that just isn't filled with as interesting sentiments as the "Hits". i have some affection for a few of the deep cuts ("Bob Dylan's Dream" and "I Shall Be Free", which makes its point in 2/3rds the time that "Talking World War III Blues" does) but i couldn't see myself coming back to it for more than those few glimmers of what is to come. and i'm gonna say it. "Blowin' in the Wind" does nothing for me. i actually think it's too sappy for me to enjoy. to each their own.

i would say that this record is a bit anachronistic, something that seems like it should have been released in the 2000's than the 1970's, but given the corporate use of it in the VW Golf ad boosting US sales from 6,000 to 74,000, it might as well have come out in that time. maybe from that event, selling cars with the songs of a dead man, it primes one to be cynical about Pink Moon; i cannot muster it. it's one of those things where the simplicity and tenderness of the thing makes it feel impactful. Pink Moon is a well crafted quilt with very few flourishes sown upon it, but it's warm and reliable nonetheless. no matter the purpose, it's a good thing someone dug it out of the attic.

a collage of every garish, beautiful melody someone could think of, glued together and put on the road. for my money, the closest possible thing a new rave record has come to the deranged eclecticism of Fantasy Black Channel. when i first heard it, i thought i wouldn't be thinking about the songs past first exposure. upon revisiting, it becomes apparent that every single song was just waiting to be rediscovered, each bassline or siren a loud, brash sound dispelling the ideas of it being any sort of relic. barring "isle of her" (which, like. cmon) i don't even think i could tell you what track is my favorite. it's gonna become (or has become, if you consider Brat Summer to have been an extension of bloghouse chic) cool to like this type of music again very soon. im more prepared than all of you.

i haven't heard a single second of Pere Ubu before now, so i was surprised to find out they were an electric cockroach jugband playing blues from your bathroom floor. they're celebrating -- the radio is on, the shower is running, and you are dead. sometimes i dread running into foundational post-punk classics, but sometimes you find something really fun and crazy. Pere Ubu, despite recording from miserable conditions (Cleveland), bring as much fun as they do crazy.

the ultimate high school masterpiece: an album meant to be grown out of but still treasured. i never heard the entirety of Siamese Dream as a teenager, but the songs i did hear appealed to me immensely. they were loud, angsty, romantic, and everything you really wanted to hear when you yourself were loud, angsty, and painfully infatuated with everyone who was ever nice to you. Billy Corgan gets you for all five and three-quarter minutes of "Mayonaise" -- and his and James Iha's guitars get you more. i can understand why someone would hate the Smashing Pumpkins, of course. they were hyped up to no end, they were this big Americanized arena rock take on a distinctly indie British scene/fad, and let's face it -- Billy Corgan is a C-tier lyricist at best. you can deny Siamese Dream its "masterpiece" status through these criteria, sure. but try denying the wave of guitars that slams into you on "Today". you can't, cause it killed you. cause it went so hard. silly.

i don't get it. you're one of the founders of "punk". you're dressed as women and absolutely serving on the cover. todd rundgren produced your first album. you're foundational to independent music and have that coveted "favorite artist's favorite artist's" reputation. how are the New York Dolls this boring? it's not all bad. "lookin for a kiss", "trash", and "jet boy" are pretty good for what they are (garage band Rolling Stones worship). but what could i get from the whole album that The Stones or Alice Cooper don't already have? i'll take Raw Power over this any day. yes, even the Bowie mix.

yknow, for all the words you could spill about "Loveless", all the anecdotes, all the hypotheticals, all the lovesick poetry written around its faerie forests of noise and pink washed sex-syrup-opium-vomit-oil wheel projector feel, i truly don't believe there has been a better description of the record than "it sounds like a mermaid falling into a black hole". like, yeah. that's pretty much dead on. no notes, Mr. John Doran. your mileage may vary. then again, if you're listening to mbv regularly, you probably don't have a car. or a driver's license. so i guess it might really vary.

i've yet to hear a bad Aimee Mann song. whether that's through luck or simply her sheer consistency, in every track from her that i've heard, she's generating this peculiar warmth in each song thick as a rainforest. Jon Brion's no slouch either -- if this is a test run for Aimee Mann's skills as a singer-songwriter, it's his test run for his 70's studio nerd production style. i get that '93 was a stacked year, but what the hell was wrong with people that they weren't buying this? were they stupid? deaf? both? is this also why Spilt Milk didn't sell well? when i die, don't bury me. wrap me in an Aimee Mann song then throw me in the ocean. i'll stay warm forever.

the difference between "disastrous change to the formula that carried the band through four albums" and "needed shakeup to the sound that shows a band evolving" is usually a pretty fine line, but for some reason, on Get Behind Me Satan, that line is blurred. i think part of that is simply because there isn't really a HUGE shakeup -- the songs are still the same bluesy, dramatic guitar work + steady rhythms, but with a few extra elements added in in the production studio. a piano hit here, a folk number there, but it's still the same old group with just a few constraints let up. it doesn't feel like a radical left turn; rather, i feel like it's the first album of a somewhat promising band that will become great if they simply turn up their amp and ditch the piano songs. that band would probably be on the level of the White Stripes' first few albums if they did that. one aside: Little Ghost is a cute song and arguably the best on the album. contact me directly to duel me for saying so.

probably not for everyone, but i live in Colorado where there is just... so much bluegrass stuff. like, an inordinately large amount of people who love bluegrass, to the point where the only music festival in the state is a bluegrass festival. i'm used to hillbilly bullshit; hell, i welcome it. i think, personally, Will The Circle Be Unbroken is most useful as two things: 1. background music for cleaning the house/cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and 2. a historical document of a bunch of hippies fanboying out over legends in Appalachian folk music. did i feel an emotional journey by listening to 110 minutes of bluegrass classics? not really. instead, i felt this weird, sort of patchwork comfort from the affair. it reminds me of reading about the Great Depression for fun as a kid, or imagining myself as a cowboy wandering the plains with his gun and his horse, living off a diet of stogies and beans. maybe this feeling is anachronistic and built on ignored histories, but for a brief moment, this storybook fantasy would be nice to put myself in. hearing Randy Scruggs play Both Sides Now at the end does make me cry a bit, though. he's passing the torch.

"the violent femmes are the band people pretend weezer is but in real life. so of course they were very important to me as a teenager" - unpublished joke review i wrote in January i should note three things that are true about the Violent Femmes (more considerably their heathenistic debut): 1. it is incredibly impressive Gordon Gano wrote all these songs when he was still in High School, 2. he could not have written them any other time, 3. the album is better for it. really, any complaints i have with the lyrics of this thing pertain exclusively to the incredibly cringy lyrics of the bonus tracks stapled to the end of every US CD. everything else is pretty tame, including "Add It Up". maybe you could make the link between Gano's sexual frustration and misogyny, but really, it doesn't seem like he's angry at anyone except himself. he knows that it could he could be much worse off than simply unloved. of course, it also goes without saying that even if the lyrics were "better" (an impossible concept to me), they'd still pale in comparison to the sound of the tracks. everyone who's ever walked into a Guitar Center and seen one of those big ass acoustic basses have sat down and played G———4———5—4———4———5—4———4———5—4———| 2x D—5———5—————5———5—————5———5—————5—| A—————————————————————————————————| E—————————————————————————————————| at least once. Violent Femmes strikes the right balance of something to play in your room alone while moping and for your family while driving on a nice summer's day. yes, even the tracks where he says fuck. the bonus tracks, however, are not car friendly. they're barely ear friendly. in my endless crusade against bonus tracks, "Ugly" and "Gimme The Car" (which is five FUCKING minutes, Gordon, cripes) are Evidence No. 1. just take the CD out of the player after "Good Feeling" -- it's better as a closer anyway.

despite not being as good as Kid A, despite basically being a B-sides compilation for an album with no singles, and despite the clear dip in quality in the back half, i am still glad i live in a world where these songs were released than one where they weren't. my mom gave birth to me to this album. it creeped out a lot of the nurses. i dunno if that nets me cred here or not.

as a result of being a starstudded event, with appearances from Jay-Z, the Neptunes, Kanye West, and Linkin Park when they were hot, the album unfortunately forgets about someone pretty important: Lupe fucking Fiasco. on a lot of the beats, he sounds very at home ("American Terrorist", "Hurt Me Soul", the inimitable "Kick, Push"), but on others he's trying his hand at a hook, which isn't really his forte, or making way for a singer to do it, which makes him feel like a guest on his own song (see "Daydreamin'"). the poppy beats are good, and his verses are good, but what's the point if they don't go together? this pop jumble also messes with the supposed thematic concept -- wasn't this supposed to be a treatise on good and evil? these just sound like songs about the same few things again and again. where are your characters? God forgive me, WHERE ARE YOUR SKITS?!? i don't hate "Lupe Fiasco's Food and Liquor". but it's fitting that the outro track where he thanks everyone who worked on/inspired the record is 12 goddamn minutes long. there are superhero movies with shorter credits.

are Grant Lee Buffalo glam rock? like, maybe i'm overthinking it, but this album borrows all of Bowie's or Bolan's anthemic, post-psych traits (dramatic lyrics, theatrical performances, blazing guitar solos, acoustic guitar on a lot of the songs) and puts it in the context of a Uncle Tupelo era Americana scene, leading people to tag it as the latter without connecting to the dots to the former. i dunno if songs like "Moonage Daydream" and "Jupiter and Teardrop" or "Life's A Gas" and "You Just Have to Be Crazy" share DNA, but dammit, they sound related. Phillips is literally making the same face Bowie is making on "Aladdin Sane". still, maybe it's less a matter of genre and more talent. maybe i hear so many of these influences because the band is just so talented at writing driving, engaging songs. i've known the title track all my life, but somehow, i feel like the rest of the songs -- which i've just heard -- have been there the whole time too. the music has the quality of good, fresh leather, or warm rain on a sunny day. Fuzzy is the album every pick 'n stomp band wants to make; Grant Lee Buffalo are the only band that made it.

in my opinion, Mark E. Smith and Frank Zappa aren't alike in any meaningful way at all, except for a few key ways that matter to me: 1. they both have a constantly cycling roster of musical prisoner monkeys who play what he tells them to play when he wants them to play and for however many gigs they are useful for. this might seem a bit tyrannical, and it is, but offers the benefit of having a constantly evolving sound and incredibly tight instrumentals across your discography. if you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet, these artists are professional velociraptors. 2. they have fanbases (really, more like weird monks bitching over canon) who are always fighting over what the best album to get into Zappa or the Fall is, and the answer is never the same, but the correct answer is also definitely "the one that doesn't feel like the biggest time sink". this was probably a good place to start, seeing as Hex Enduction Hour is 60 minutes long and i didn't really know what to expect. 3. god they're both so fucking obnoxious. i cannot stand Frank Zappa's lyrics about how women's rights are gay or whatever, and i can't stand Mark E. Smith repeating the same few vaguely politically evocative words again and again. it gets old fast. i don't care if it's taking direct inspiration from krautrock -- most krautrock at least knows when to shut the fuck up and let the instruments speak instead. it's not my thing. it was fun for like the first couple of songs, but i think there's only two songs on here i'd actually consider returning to. this album's rating would probably be much lower if i was listening to the extended hour long version. there's three the Fall albums on the "1001 Albums You Need to Hear Before You Die" list and let me tell you right now: i don't need to. i get it. i get why you dweebs like this. but i don't want any more of it.

don't tell him this cause he's Christian and might find it offensive, but every day i wake up and thank God for Jorge Ben. his song are on point, his guitar is on point, the energy and overall vibes are on point. whenever he sings a vocal line and the backup singers respond in turn, my brain does flips like a trained dog. high effort, high energy, high point. no skips. essential.

"they represented unity, they represented peace, they represented this. *mildly clenches fist and raises it* whatever this is, they represented 100% of that." - Usher this is your stepdad's favorite rap album. he says it's because it tackles real issues and doesn't delve into glorifying the life of a "thug" and that Speech wants real change. you listen to it and you understand the real reason this is your stepdad's favorite album: it is 56 minutes of the record agreeing with him. i can nearly picture him stroking his goatee and nodding whenever a particularly "conscious" bar comes up. "yes... yes... that's so true..." every time i have to hear Speech rap about how the best thing a Black revolution can be kickstarted by is getting a woman pregnant and loving God and not being a gangsta stereotype over those corny fucking Casio beats, it's like biting into a Spicy McChicken and getting a particularly wilted piece lettuce or a sickening amount of mayo in your mouth. it also feels like you're eating it right outside of a Music City Hot Chicken. like, i had other options -- better options. why would i choose this?

Rian Johnson's Columbo homage Poker Face has a murder happen to an ambitious, rowdy drummer in what Rian Johnson thinks is a glam metal band, killed over a single that would rocket him to stardom and not the rest of the band. while hanging with the murder victim, Charlie Cale (played by Natasha Lyonne in all the scrappy charm she can muster) notices that he basically writes his songs by stitching together whatever he sees, leading to a hilarious scene where she picks through his trash and finds out the lyrics to his song are lifted wholesale from whatever bullshit he had crumpled in his pocket. it's not a bad song, he just wrote it by stealing bits and pieces of whatever he sees. he's a magpie. i would say Oasis function as a group of Magpies. they take a little bit of Ride, a few bits and baubles from the Beatles, an intro from "Bang a Gong (Get It On), and an entire verse from a Coke commercial to make their nest, and it's a perfectly fine nest. maybe a few of the bits woven into it prick you when you sit down, but it's quite roomy and thick and there's plenty of room for you to lean back and watch Liam and Noel peck each other's eyes out. overall, i am entertained. this is probably a masterpiece if you're a little wasted and know the words. however, there's something real hard to stomach about Definitely Maybe it is something i like to call "oops, it's shoegaze", and i don't really mean this as a compliment. aside from the subtle Ride influence, any DNA this shares with the aforementioned genre appears to be completely accidental. the guitar seems to be that loud because the band thought it was a good volume to put it at, and i respect their decision, but it does make sitting through this record a bit of an endurance test. these are probably pretty good songs they duct taped together, but the sheer sound of them makes me want to drop a few so my ears aren't being burnt alive for as long. spoiler for the Poker Face episode btw: the band gets busted not because they murdered their magpie, but because his hit had its melody wholly lifted from the theme to Benson, thus scoring them a class-action lawsuit instead of a record deal. unfortunately, they lack the half a million Oasis paid Coca-Cola with over "Shakermaker". whoops!

feel crazy. despite my relatively anti-rockist tastes and inexorable state of zoomerism, i love Led Zeppelin's hits. "Immigrant Song" is iconic. "Out on the Tiles" rocks. "Tangerine" is surprisingly effective. "Bron-Y-Aur Stomp" is ok enough to put on a playlist. then every single one of their deep cuts sounds the exact same. it's either a kinda meh flowerchild folk song, an even more meh blues jam, or weird genre attempts like "The Crunge" or "D'yer Maker"* on later albums. people hold enough stock in these deep cuts to rate them relatively high on RYM and put it near 3.96 (as of 10/21/24) on the evil known as 1001 Albums, but i just don't get it. "Immigrant Song" is incredible, but surely it's not enough to turn this album into a classic? i am glad that nobody is excusing "Hats Off to (Roy) Harper", though. awful, awful song.

i remember my best friend showed me The Blue Room E.P. and it felt like peering into another universe. in this world, Coldplay is considered a second rate Radiohead ripoff and never crossed over, never shed their influences, and never quite sounded distinct. maybe "Bigger Stronger" ends up played during a radio segment displaying OK Computer's influence on the British music scene. they have a few bangers, but they at most have 1,000 ratings on their first album. they become a curiosity at best -- a Panchiko with a label deal that puts them in debt for the next decade. however, instead of doing that, Coldplay became Coldplay. this has made a lot of people angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. i, for one, am Coldplay neutral. i know that it's easy to turn them into a punchline, to say their brand of rock is bland or non-descript, and to compare their work as a sinister lead-in to the Chainsmokers-collaborating pop monster they would become in the 2010s. however, personally, there's some significant charm for me in the post-Britpop sound in general, and Coldplay are a prime slice of that sound. it harkens back to the 70's studio rock record -- not to say that it's exactly like a Fleetwood Mac or a Carole King record, but that its elements are recorded in such a way that the songs feel as if they've always existed (i'm inexplicably reminded of Jon Brion on a few of the instrumental touches - a glockenspiel on "Sparks", or how the lead guitar bends around on "Trouble"). maybe the lyrics are too vaguely psychedelic to sink one's teeth into, but a lot of the time, it's not about the words you write, it's how you sing them. Coldplay always had the sense about them that they got remarkably lucky and seized upon it. you could call them sell-outs or softies; i doubt you could call them derivative in good faith. we all know what Coldplay is supposed to sound like -- they sound like "Yellow", or "Trouble". they sure as hell don't sound like "Bigger Stronger".

why is it that the first thing we tried to do with the Moog synthesizer was make it play classical music? instead of creating a space age future, for a good 10 years we were just doing nothing but redoing classical works. no disrespect to ELP (or Wendy Carlos, or Tomita, or all the people who did this), who are definitely talented and respect the classical works to a fault, but every time i hear one of these pieces, i think of some concert pianist doubled over in his study, head in his hands as the techno-farts play what he's spent his whole life training to do. it's the most beautiful and forward-thinking thing he, a man living in 1972, has ever heard listen, i'm a dork -- a cornball. i plan to learn to code at some point so i can make a video game. i have considered buying a red DEVO cone at one point in my life. i semi-regularly used Cohost before it got shut down for being designed specifically to not make any money. when they find the lost pilot episode for the shortlived 80's Japanese virtual band Pink Crows, i'll be right there on the Lost Media Wiki to gawk at it. i've attended multiple furry conventions. when i say that covering Modest Mussorgsky's "Pictures at an Exhibition" with your keyboard-based prog band is too dorky for me to enjoy, understand what your modern median human person's reaction to this would be if you played it for them. i am shocked that many people cheered after Nutrocker.

my main complaint towards We're Only in It for the Money is one you've probably heard before: Zappa's critique of the flower power hippie is rendered toothless by his inherent arrogance towards the movement. maybe he was right about a lot of the hippies just being in it for Ass 'n' Grass and planning to ditch this and run a car dealership in San Bernardino, but goddammit, it's 1967. better things are supposed to at least look possible. in his mind, Frank Zappa is above this stupid flower power bullshit -- he's a composer, an artiste, he knows who fucking Stockhausen is, for God's sake. the tragedy is, Frank, that you are still selling to these flower power douchebags. they are buying your records, saying it's "far out" just like the Jefferson Airplane and Grateful Dead fuckheads do. you'll figure out that your fans are also assholes in 1971 when they set a casino on fire/push you into an orchestra pit. outside of the lyrical content (i dunno if you could call the songs with words actual songs rather than little pasted together collages of pop), i think the musique concrete experiments hold up, but if i never hear that engineer whispering in the booth again i'd die happy. shout out Jimmy Carl Black, the Indian of the group.

the party ended in 1997. first there's Oasis's Be Here Now, which was an Emperor's Clothes moment for a lot of critics of the movement. all the songs are gaudy, overloud, overblown, and so indebted to a quickly faltering liberal British optimism that it became shorthand for the failings of the genre through its ugly borrowings and inescapable peace n' loveyness. the Beatles are all well and good until someone else tries to convince you they're the Beatles by playing a 9 minute vamp about spreading the word about how everything's gonna be alright, maaaaan. functionally, Oasis would break up and turn into a sibling boxing match before the turn of the millennium. in a way, Urban Hymns sits on the opposite end of the Britfatigue scale: it's an album where the band evolved their sound to fit with the times, pushed the sound of the genre to fit their tastes, and gained international success through an insanely catchy crossover hit indebted to 60's British pop... and it also completely destroyed the band. see, you probably already know that the Verve got sued for sampling by federal tax criminal and former superstar agent to the Rolling Stones Allen Klein, forcing Richard Ashcroft and co. to give up 100% of the rights to the song due to them sampling an orchestral version of "The Last Time" without his permission. as of writing, it took until about 5 years ago for all parties involved to realize this is fucking bullshit and that millions of dollars were stolen from Ashcroft for no reason but greed. however, i have a theory: this lawsuit made these clinger-on bands realize that the greats were still alive, and if you took enough inspiration from them, they could probably sue you. it made the prospect of paying tribute to the 60's and 70's a bit of a gambit if you didn't have a superstar legal team and millions of dollars to pay them. if you're planning to play this type of music, you're basically realizing you're late to the party anyhow. so people moved onto a newer, fresher sound that was representative of a colder, more modern society -- Radiohead, Coldplay, Doves, all those post-Brit guys. the world didn't have time for free love and mellotrons in the age of digital love and terror bombing. still, even if you chopped "Bitter Sweet Symphony" off the album (a crime against music), you'd have some very decent tunes here. it goes without saying that "The Drugs Don't Work" and "Lucky Man" are timeless, but "Weeping Willow", "Sonnet", and "Come On" are all respectable deep cuts as well. maybe we could have done without seven minutes of "The Rolling People" or six minutes of "Catching the Butterfly", but for its length (about as long as Be Here Now when you take out the obligatory hidden CD track silence), it never really feels bloated. in time, i could see myself loving Urban Hymns. there's fresh ideas, tons of creativity, and new directions navigated in a sound that many considered a bit less than fresh at the time. still, money talks. the kicker is that it can never sing.

The Amazing Chemical Brothers! watch as they strap on their rocket skates and do battle with the wicked California Surf Nazis invading the ravefields of New Manchester in 11 thrilling episodes! witness as they do battle with evil normcore monsters created to destroy the K-Citizens wandering the fields, vanquishing each foe with their samurai swords and titanium-reinforced Stratocasters! be astounded by the death defying sonic stunts in each episode -- flying bass kicks in "It Doesn't Matter", flaming song structures in "Elektrobank", and their world renowned... "Block Rockin' Beats"! you might even get to see their elusive and astounding "Private Psychedelic Reel"! don't wait! don't miss out! tune in each Thursday for another, jaw-dropping episode! only on Big Beat Network: "We've Got The Beat."

solid, meat and potatoes 70's country -- the best vintage for the genre, if you ask me. can the tropes get a bit grating if you're not a fan of the whole country thing? sure, but if you are it's just a very nice, well performed slice of, well, honky tonk. music for the night after a shit day at work. also, they use the moog pretty good on this thing. makes me wonder if more country is out there using wires and knobs.

it's not that it's too long, although that's part of it. it's not the terrible funky Clavinets on "Custard Pie" and "Trampled Under Foot", although that didn't help. it isn't that they make "In My Time of Dying" 11 minutes long and really sexual about Jesus in the last third, it isn't the stupid wedding music in the middle of "In the Light", and that boring final stretch that REALLY makes you tired of hearing Jimmy Page say "mama". it's that Physical Graffiti exists as a gluttonous object. we get to see the band's typical "more misses than hits" style now applied to the double album, and we see that nothing has changed. there is enough good music here for an OK album, but for some reason or another, they put out a tiring, exhaustive double album. it's like if you didn't cook enough food for a potluck, so you rummage through your fridge and bring a wagon full of leftovers. then the guests praise this "dish" as your best yet. i mean it's 84 minutes long... and it's got "Kashmir" and "The Rover"! what stick in the mud hates "Kashmir" and "The Rover"? this is a filedump -- and in 1975, a filedump cost $35 dollars in today's money. have you ever seen a classic inaugurated into the canon by sunk cost fallacy?

The Human League dropped their album with their big fuckoff hit on it at the perfect time: the tech was nerdy enough to experiment and sport rough edges to its synth sound and yet cool and cutting edge enough to avoid total obscurity. the idea that you could make a No. 1 hit with nothing but electric instruments that wasn't pure novelty probably inspired more young artists than Yaz or M or Hot Butter did. that's the benefit of going pop, everyone can see you being weird and call you a trendsetter. still, it can be a bit silly to hear some of these synths, especially with the confusing 1-2 whiff of "Get Carter" and "I Am The Law". despite how cool songs like "Seconds" and "Do or Die" can sound, there are still bits on here that remind you you're listening to a band named after a faction in StarForce who were notorious for covering the Doctor Who theme live.

Microshift is a baffling crossbreed between that public radio late 2010's indie pop sound (wonder why) and heavy Stereolab influence in both choice of warm, analog synths and an eternal debt to krautrock and weird library music instrumentation. as both a product of their time and still firmly driven by bands like The American Analog Set and Broadcast, Hookworms intrigue me to no end. i had no idea this combination would even work -- like cheddar cheese and apple pie. aside from the somewhat grating "Boxing Day", i don't think there's a single skip on this thing. a delight, and one that i argue deserves to be on the 1001 Albums list more so than three solo Moz records. still, nothing good can stay. ever. nothing good ever happens and if it does, ohohoho buddy, hold onto your shittin pants, cause you're about to learn a valuable life lesson.

lots of great characteristics, but other than the first songs on each side, i think it lacks a certain "oomph" that the best country always has. i'm not against 80's country, but this has its fair share of both charm and relentless, relentless studio cheese. this being the ONLY Steve Earle album on the list when it's not even the sound he's known for (i was shocked he even had an album out in the 80's) shocks me -- you're telling me this was more important to add than El Corazón? really? plus, i can forgive touring the world with a "Jap guitar" [sic], but if you ever want to feel like you're sitting next to your ex-trucker grandpa complaining about how soft the world's gotten since they impeached Nixon, listen to "Good Ol' Boy (Gettin Tough)", preferably while chewing smelly nicotine gum.

i'm gonna make some people mad: the biggest roadblock preventing me from fanboying over Frank Ocean's music (aside from his inability to get his worthless ass out of the piazza and back to the typewriter) is a problem he shares with another indie darling: Sufjan Stevens. despite their earnestness, despite their embrace of the "concept album", i still find myself drawn more to the singles outlining points in the plan rather than the project overall. obviously i enjoy "Pyramids", or "Thinkin' Bout You", or "Sweet Life" (i'm not some obstinate, no fun asshole), but i think that the scattershot concept of loves lost doesn't really hold up under inspection. in the uneasy balance of character acting and personal expression, i find myself disengaged from what narrative could be gleaned. is this album about a rich character who makes his girlfriend run coke deals, or is it about Frank Ocean, the man, dealing with issues of having his heart broken (again and again and again)? if it's a conflict between his desire and his reality, then sonically, i don't think it's a great display OF that conflict. the production is good, the lyrics are good, and the track-by-track flow is good; sitll, it's never quite great, never a true masterpiece, of which i don't think either Frank Ocean or Sufjan Stevens have had. i like Frank Ocean, but i can't bring myself to love him. what's so bad about that?

it's trite. it's been said. it's been a punchline and a dead horse and a nickel in the jar. but man -- not having bass (i will not be saying that word again in the review) on your thrash metal album REALLY makes you come to terms with how fucking bad Lars Ulrich is as a drummer. so many complex songs and all he can do is pound the same three patterns. he's like the guy in "Deacon Blues" who learns to play the saxophone as part of a midlife crisis, and you get the feeling this is his skill ceiling. instead of being OK with his cover band and job as a forklift operator, he's part of the biggest metal band in the world and earns millions from fucking up drum parts in front of thousands of adoring fans for over 40 years at this point. it's equally frustrating because for all the shit around Ulrich, Hetfield and Hammett are going insane on the guitar -- their most ambitious song structures and solos and scooped tones yet. and Lars, he's just not up to snuff. the whole band has to make room for him as he plods through each track. i also don't think that this album should be as long as it is, but i also really couldn't tell you what to cut. there's so much of it; i feel fatigued. "One" kicks ass though -- makes the whole thing worth it at least a little. the key to being a metal superstar is probably "writing songs based off of a book you read" if it and Iron Maiden's "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" are anything to go on.

i can't fault something for being cornball Muppet Show pop five years before it even aired, but i can say that, if handed a nondescript studio psychedelic record from the late 60's/early 70's, i would expect it to sound like this and have something like "Spinning Wheel" on it. i completely forgot that song existed -- i thought it was something like a childhood nursery rhyme or something. still, there are parts of this record that feel very tender rather than simply corny. it's definitely a November or February feel; you can hear the leaves or slush piling on the ground on each song. it's got the same avuncular quality to it as The Guess Who or Three Dog Night -- soul to be sung from under the blondest, curliest mustache your barber will allow. there's at least a LITTLE charm to that. maybe it shouldn't have won the Grammy, but it's a nice look back at the era of dying psychedelia and a gateway to the coming era of Bubblegum and Violence.

the sequencing is fine. get over yourselves. Bridge over Troubled Water is a record that i think is flawed, but still undeniably Simon and Garfunkel's best. it follows that trend of "Goodbye, the 60's" records like Abbey Road or The Velvet Underground; it's an eclectic medley of styles while still displaying what the band is best at. hearing this as my first full S&G album made me think that this scattered style is what holds it back, but after giving Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme and Bookends a listen, i've come to understand Bridge as their tightest album. every song is doing something different, but even the goofy tracks or covers don't feel time-wastey. it's just as well that this is their last album, because i don't think they could really improve on what they had here. it's not perfect, but it's the best they'll ever do it. i think you're probably some sort of sentient meat slab if "The Boxer" doesn't stir something in you. someone foolish said "Cecilia" is a proto-freak folk song. if an Animal Collective ripoff covered this whole album, how would they handle "Keep The Customer Satisfied"? accordion drone? creaky voice white girl doing the horn parts a cappella?

it's fine. like, there is a lot to hate about a release like this -- and i don't think i'll be coming back to it any time soon -- but what exactly could it do to make it better? it's a southern rock record that pulls a lot from the Rolling Stones and was produced in 1990 -- as a result, it sounds like it does and could not sound any different. there are no epics, no pop cuts, just pure, unabashed 70's RAWK cuts. judging The Black Crowes by their ability to create interesting, modern rock that breaks the mold is like judging a foot race between a human and a bird. the bird, quite simply, is not built to run, so likewise, i shouldn't expect the Black Crowes to do anything but what they are made to do, which is play blues rock and sell records to your dad. the Black Crowes are a bagful of salted peanuts. you get what you pay for -- something dry, something consistent, and something you probably pair with copious amounts of alcohol or whatever they have on the menu at Texas Roadhouse.

you'd expect something really boring or run-of-the-mill from a garage rock band with the name "White Denim", but there's a lot more melodic complexity and engagement here than i was expecting to get. the noodly guitar lines reminded me of Surface to Air Missive at points, taking the songs weird but catchy places. other than the indulgent jam "River to Consider", this thing blows by fast, each song a dandelion seed pushed by a breath.

A Night at the Opera's title (without prior knowledge of the Marx Brothers) and the reputation of "Bohemian Rhapsody" would have you believe that it's parent record would be a sweeping, theatrical epic -- an opera. it is not. really, the album takes the form of a revue, with a bunch of sketches, dances, and characters parading around the stage for your entertainment. maybe there's a few bits where they get maudlin like with "Love of My Life", but overall the tone of the show is light, frivolous, ephemeral. it makes you wonder where they would have taken things if they ever deigned to write in an actual narrative. Queen are not the best band in the world, but in bursts, you get the sense that they could have been. i guess just being Queen was good enough for them (and the rest of the human race).

"but mags," you say after reading my review of A Night at the Opera, "queen DID have a narrative in an album! they did do stuff akin to prog rock!" ...did they? like, yeah this is Queen with a prog rock style to them, but is what they're doing here actually a narrative, or is it just them writing stuff about fantasy themes? you could PROBABLY construct a loose narrative from the songs here and there's definitely a choice made with each side's naming, but i feel like that's just them trying to put some intentionality into how it's constructed rather than an attempt at a coherent story. and that's just fine. and also, is it really the same band? something really weird happens when you start this record called Queen II -- it plays music from a band that seems like it's not entirely quite unlike Queen, but still feels like you could mistake it for an entirely different group if you weren't paying attention and interrogating what you're hearing. then you flip the record and oh my god it's Queen! hi!!! it's Freddie Mercury's theater vocals and Brian May's cool guitar that goes "wowbiddawowwow!!!" and Deacon and Taylor doin cool drums and bass work! wow! Queen II made me feel like a greyhound with separation anxiety. or i feel like that on a regular basis and Queen II made me interrogate that part of myself. take your pick.

the runner up for most 1986 album to ever 1986 (Graceland remains undefeated), So feels like a big motorcycle your uncle buys after his divorce. in my eyes, this isn't a negative quality: motorcycles are undoubtedly cool. however, that motorcycle isn't staying in your uncle's garage. i find this CD in the Goodwill reliably every time i peruse its section of your grandma's classical music CDs and your mom's copies of k.d. lang's Ingénue. So enters someone's life and, a few plays later, leaves it for worn-out pastures. i'm here to tell you, as a connoisseur of sparkly Sharper Image pop, that So is worth keeping around. so what if it sounds artificial at points? you're telling me you hate the sound of the Fairlight? of the Chapman stick stylings of Tony Levin? of "In Your Eyes" and "Sledgehammer"? i don't think there's a human being alive who hates "Sledgehammer" who isn't some dour metalhead with a drinking problem. there's a sort of enchantment to the record that makes me teary eyed. even though there are fun and life affirming moments, So feels filled with melancholy a lot of the time. it's in "That Voice Again", in "Red Rain", and in "Mercy Street" in spades. i couldn't call it bipolar, but i can definitely call it panicked, frantic. one second he dances in the clouds, the next he dips his head in the gutter. next time you go to buy some used pants or a set of discarded aluminum pans, give the lost CDs a chance. look at Peter Gabriel's pleading orphan eyes and give him a home. do this enough times and you'll be able to construct an Everything is Terrible!-style Jerry Maguire pyramid in the desert. you'll thank me later.

bands like The Libertines are one of those inscrutable British Music Press Things that you hear about by virtue of being a relic signifying when the music press was a thing people cared about in any real capacity, same as Razorlight or Kaiser Chiefs. as an American, whose hipster music press bets paid off for the most part (yknow, up until it stopped mattering), it's easy to feel smug about their selections aging kinda badly. maybe it's unearned smugness, but it just feels good knowing Arcade Fire and Broken Social Scene definitely did put out some enduring, post-hype classics whereas The Libertines did not. i enjoy sloppy records, but there are some parts where i'm wondering: did they not have enough studio time? surely you could have gotten ONE more take from the vocalists. they could have played the rhythm guitar just one more time. they could have turned down the levels in the studio down by like 3 dB. they could have thrown out a few songs that go nowhere and waste time. as a result, it turns out as an incoherent mess of tropes i've seen better done elsewhere. i don't hate it, but it definitely doesn't pass the sniff test if you're not some Tony Blair-era NME writer looking for the next Clash. i can't see a world where the Libertines matter past 2005, and i guess they couldn't either. also, please don't release an album that's self-titled and not your debut. who do you think you're kidding?

much affection as i afford it, the big band jazz orchestra always felt wasted playing swing and 78 rpm single standards. therefore, using the thick sound of big band to make something that never feels simply pleasant, but challenging and complex, works like a cheat code on me. still, my only complaint is that, although the sound and direction of the thing is beautiful, as a ballet, it feels a bit lacking by having no choreography to go along with it. i know people make their own to go along and perform it, but i think the only thing keeping this from being an all timer is not seeing one of those performances live. who knows. maybe someone in Colorado will dare to and i'll revisit this with the proper idea of how one would move to it. God knows i'd embarrass myself if i tried.

a bit of a nice coincidence i got my Japanese CD of Mind the Gap before getting assigned this to listen to. what you get from this is pretty much what you would expect of a release with these tags and released at this time -- something groovy and clubby, if a bit dated. it does slow down in the middle a bit with "Fade Away" and "Pressure", but the majority of Connected never leaves its (and my) comfort zone of transporting you to the Hacienda in 1992 while fucked up on E and swinging your arms around like a moron. it was supposed to be baggy summer at some point this decade. and then it wasn't. a shame.

it is funny how Spotify has "The Beast" coupled with "- includes Chinese restaurant skit" in its title. big "Dead Dove: Do Not Eat" vibes from that. i can understand why some see this as an enduring classic, but i wish i could do the same. it's not bad or even middling by any extent of the imagination -- "Ready or Not" is a pefect song -- but it is easy to see a better record if some changes were made. let Lauryn rap more and get Pras to rap less. let John Forte join the group and make him contribute a bit more than Pras. tone down the tutting judgement in the first half of the record. cut the "No Woman, No Cry" because it's straight ass and you have a cover on the album already. don't let Ruff House put three bonus tracks on on the CD. however, The Score is what it is and it's no point dictating things you could do to improve it. the milk was spilt, dried, and forgotten. i don't think there are any really weak instrumentals on the record, everything's very well put together (barring the bonus tracks stapled to the end). it's more to do with the simple fact of who the Fugees are -- a very talented woman who knows this, a guy who thinks he's much more talented than she is, and his cousin. why did the Fugees break up? why do crows mob owls? why do papier-mâché volcanoes explode? because there is no other outcome for the combination of the parties involved. it's just the way it was always gonna be.

Roxy Music's debut confounds me because it seems glam almost by accident -- there's almost none of the bluesy 50's worship or psychedelic strums of their contemporaries. rather, it feels someone accidentally beamed it in from a dimension where glam rock was a natural extension of prog rock, and Pink Floyd ditched the acid for cocaine and sequins. the woman on the cover is near incongruous to the music -- she could be an elf or a terrible Hipgnosis collage instead and i doubt it would fit the music any less. however, as interesting as the self-titled is, it does spin its wheels a bit more than go anywhere. songs like "2 H.B." and "Chance Meeting" are underdeveloped, not lacking in sound but rather lacking in stand-out ideas. there are moments of glammy greatness and weirdness on this album, but they don't often mix. i'm mostly wondering if Eno wishes he'd been in an actual prog band like Phil Manzanera was. also, i hate saying it, but the American version with the bonus track is essential; "Virginia Plain" is what i thought this band was gonna sound like before i hit the second track. i feel like not hearing on here is a big mistake, like leaving "Peace Love and Understanding" off of Armed Forces. a rare opinion from me, i assure you.

my only flight out of state this year (it's been a busy time at school) was to visit my partners in Tennessee. we decided to visit Dollywood's adjacent waterpark Splash Country cause it was relatively close. it was... kinda nice? you expect an offshoot of a celebrity tie in theme park to be, like, Mickey Rooney potato restaurant levels of jank, right? it's odd. Dolly Parton grew up in the 70's equivalent of an Abraham Lincoln log cabin, started playing music at age eight, got into the industry, got really huge, and built a theme park ten miles from where she was born. it's odd to see someone do what they knew they were born for so well that they can build a theme park out of all the money they made from it. ...is there a God? i've doubted it in the past, but i really think God put Dolly Parton on Earth to do what she's been doing for the past half a century. it's a matter of predestination, fate -- the universe always meant to her to get this big. this is a roundabout way to say that the album is strong, sweet, and deserving of its place on the list. considering batting average, 70's country is better than 70's prog. fight me.

i can sum up The xx in one sentence: they are a band of incredibly creative people who are truly, without a shadow of a doubt, the sum of their parts and nothing more. this is not a band -- this is a supergroup of three people who set a limit for themselves, hit it, and clock out immediately. basically, imagine a group of Boris Diaws who are bored and simply do not want to do this because it's beneath them -- they're probably right. it's not bad, of course. there are flashes of something beautiful, with the samples on tracks 2 and 8 betraying a bit more of Jamie xx's influence and Romy's guitar contributing very well to the more "dreamy" tracks. i think that this is a perfectly serviceable thing, but i also don't think it could have really been anything but serviceable. i'd like to believe that The xx have a Rumours tucked somewhere in their collective mind, a work of screaming passion and anger and beauty, pushing boundaries, blowing minds, changing lives. i'd also like to believe in the Tooth Fairy and reversible climate damage. it doesn't mean these things are coming true any time soon. i hear Jamie's new album is good. i think people will be saying the previous sentence more than they would about a new album by The xx.

Robotomy was a show that aired for about 2-ish months on Cartoon Network in 2010-2011. it's best known for being the show Christy Karacas produced (not created) before the network picked up Superjail! -- from this angle, you would expect a cartoon that looks like this and has this pedigree and history to be wild, too wild for television, and unfortunately it's mostly just kinda mild? there's flashes of unhinged energy, but instead of being this crazy cartoon about two robots who live in a junkyard and try to kill each other with hammers while wearing bloody Halloween costumes, it's basically just Superbad for 13 year olds. and that's fiiiine. but like, i kinda wish it was the former? no plot, no talking, just beautiful murder? this is a roundabout way of saying that if the former cartoon existed and was able to be watched, i would like for the soundtrack to sound like this. never has music sounded so primitive and brutal while also probably being really technically difficult to play. i want to play air bass to this, only because i know i'd break my hands on any object near me if i played air drums to it instead. Lightning Bolt are simple enough for you to understand that it's just two guys, but virtuosic enough for you to still be highly impressed that a sound like this can come from people in general. although, who knows. maybe they are robots wearing Halloween costumes? has anyone checked?

i like this a little bit more than Pink Moon. yeah i know, it's a stupid contrarian opinion. i know that a Nick Drake album with sax solos shouldn't be anyone's favorite (even if i do think they kick ass). i couldn't even really tell you what wins me over about Bryter Layter. maybe i like Nick Drake with a few more overdubs; it makes him sound a bit less like a hermit, and gives him a complex character in my head rather than this omnipresent idea of the recluse. british folk rock instrumentals also win me over, and that sure is Fairport Convention on this thing. maybe i just like hearing him a bit happier, soul chorus or not. i can't see this album as summer or fall, not in the slightest. it feels like false spring; it's a week of wearing shorts outside and a chilly wind blowing while the sun beams upon you. before the snow falls, everything cautiously shines, and the birds visit their trees as guests.

the name of the game is attitude. by no musical standpoint would i really consider Horses to be an actual punk record -- the guitars are pretty conventional for their time, the vocals aren't harsh, and the closest thing i'd say it has to a contemporary is Television, who had one song out at the time, and neither Television nor Smith sound like they're inventing what we know to be punk. really, what i think people find punk about Patti Smith is her combining of surrealist, rebellious poetry with an evolution of frat rock -- you can't imagine Them breaking into rants about girls humping parking meters or anyone who covers "Land of a Thousand Dances" slipping into imagery of slitting your own throat, and its this juxtaposition that makes the record such a pioneer in its genre. what is punk if not making the rock of the past utterly hideous? i don't think i'd play any track from "Horses" in the car with my family. good. it's not for the car. it's not for anyone, except maybe animated helium ravens.

The Cardigans stand out as one of the few "twee" bands to make it (and not just indie circlejerk "make it" like Bull & Shitbastian -- actually make it). it's honestly hard to tell how they even DID make it. "Lovefool" was in William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet for like 10 seconds in a scene nobody really remembers, but the soundtrack sold well. i guess people were just drawn to the strength of the song. for a hot second, The Cardigans had a time in the spotlight, paced around a bit, and then walked back home. for a genre of snarky doofuses named after a type of sweater, this counts as winning the lottery. you could say they sold out with First Band on the Moon -- i'd argue their aesthetic choices are no more smooth than they were on Life. i'd also argue that there are multiple songs on the record that are as good, if not better than "Lovefool", like "Been It" and (as retroactively recognized by the internet) "Step on Me". basically, the past few years of my life have seen me falling in love with FBotM's space age continuation of the last album's globetrot. in each song, there's a delightful little hook and a mean little turn of phrase, said with a bitter smile on the lips. The Cardigans remain one of the few legitimate practitioners of the black arts of the 1990's best known as "irony". and the Sabbath covers DO make sense. what's more Swedish than heavy metal?

somehow, The Associates made an album that is wreaks sensory hell upon me and still sounds very much spongy to all the sounds around it. it's music i can only imagine was recorded in studio by the do on the cover hopping around like 90's grossout cartoon characters, bouncing off the walls and getting glitter all over the place. it takes until the second half for this weird saute of genre to come together in a "satisfying" way, and it does have its moments, but the moment is always the same flavor of squirrely flamboyance.

it's impossible to even offer up an opinion that isn't just "oh neat" to any Beatles album before Rubber Soul (or Help!, to be nice). like, i obviously can't/don't hate it, but i really couldn't imagine it as anything but a "oh boy the Beatles!" delivery system. it delivers the Beatles circa 1964. i like it. it's fine.