363
Albums Rated
3.22
Average Rating
33%
Complete
726 albums remaining
Rating Distribution
Rating Timeline
Taste Profile
1960s
Favorite Decade
Britpop
Favorite Genre
UK
Top Origin
Wordsmith
Rater Style ?
76
5-Star Albums
42
1-Star Albums
Breakdown
By Genre
By Decade
By Origin
Albums
You Love More Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Bubble And Scrape
Sebadoh
|
5 | 2.65 | +2.35 |
|
Orbital 2
Orbital
|
5 | 2.7 | +2.3 |
|
Isn't Anything
My Bloody Valentine
|
5 | 2.75 | +2.25 |
|
The White Room
The KLF
|
5 | 2.78 | +2.22 |
|
This Nation’s Saving Grace
The Fall
|
5 | 2.88 | +2.12 |
|
White Light / White Heat
The Velvet Underground
|
5 | 2.88 | +2.12 |
|
Killing Joke
Killing Joke
|
5 | 2.99 | +2.01 |
|
Nowhere
Ride
|
5 | 3.01 | +1.99 |
|
Slanted And Enchanted
Pavement
|
5 | 3.03 | +1.97 |
|
No Sleep 'Til Hammersmith (Live)
Motörhead
|
5 | 3.06 | +1.94 |
You Love Less Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Bridge Over Troubled Water
Simon & Garfunkel
|
1 | 3.96 | -2.96 |
|
Dire Straits
Dire Straits
|
1 | 3.72 | -2.72 |
|
Boston
Boston
|
1 | 3.71 | -2.71 |
|
The Atomic Mr Basie
Count Basie & His Orchestra
|
1 | 3.5 | -2.5 |
|
Foo Fighters
Foo Fighters
|
1 | 3.5 | -2.5 |
|
Arrival
ABBA
|
1 | 3.5 | -2.5 |
|
Blood Sugar Sex Magik
Red Hot Chili Peppers
|
1 | 3.5 | -2.5 |
|
Queen II
Queen
|
1 | 3.49 | -2.49 |
|
Bat Out Of Hell
Meat Loaf
|
1 | 3.45 | -2.45 |
|
A Rush Of Blood To The Head
Coldplay
|
1 | 3.44 | -2.44 |
Artists
Favorites
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| David Bowie | 5 | 4.6 |
| Led Zeppelin | 4 | 4.75 |
| The Rolling Stones | 3 | 5 |
| Creedence Clearwater Revival | 3 | 5 |
| Beatles | 4 | 4.5 |
| Stevie Wonder | 3 | 4.67 |
| The Who | 3 | 4.67 |
| Marvin Gaye | 2 | 5 |
| Funkadelic | 2 | 5 |
| Johnny Cash | 2 | 5 |
| Pixies | 2 | 5 |
| Bruce Springsteen | 2 | 5 |
| Motörhead | 2 | 5 |
| The Velvet Underground | 2 | 5 |
| Joy Division | 2 | 5 |
Least Favorites
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Dire Straits | 2 | 1.5 |
| Joni Mitchell | 2 | 1.5 |
| Queen | 2 | 1.5 |
| Red Hot Chili Peppers | 2 | 1.5 |
Controversial
| Artist | Ratings |
|---|---|
| Metallica | 5, 1 |
| The Beach Boys | 5, 2 |
| Prince | 4, 2, 5 |
5-Star Albums (76)
View Album Wall
Popular Reviews
Pixies
5/5
A straight up fucking masterpiece. No album has ever been more my shit. Fuck it, I'm listening to it for the rest of the work day.
2 likes
The Rolling Stones
5/5
Probably their peak. Bought a copy of Tattoo You on vinyl this week and while it's a perfectly cromulent album it doesn't even remotely compare to this masterpiece.
2 likes
Eagles
2/5
Althought I'd never listened to it I was pretty sure I hated this album based on the singles (except for Life in the Fast Lane, which gets a pass for its use in Fast Times at Ridgemont High). It's actually even worse than I thought.
2 likes
Motörhead
5/5
Not quite as intense as seeing them in person at the Commodore in Vancouver, but still about as intense as straight-ahead power trio rock can get.
1 likes
The Avalanches
1/5
Unlistenable junk. Definitely made sure to keep a careful eye on YouTube so I wouldn't actually listen to the remixes and bullshit rom the Extended Edition.
1 likes
1-Star Albums (42)
All Ratings
Led Zeppelin
4/5
Shit goes hard.
Common
3/5
Stan Getz
2/5
I despise jazz, but this isn't too terrible, really.
The Specials
3/5
It's alright. Has its place. Ska's not really my bag.
Supergrass
4/5
Seems like the sort of thing I'd have been into but this one slipped right past me at the time.
Linkin Park
2/5
Nah. This ain't for me.
fIREHOSE
2/5
Not for me. Kind of twee (derogatory), I guess?
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
1/5
I am pre-disposed to dislike prog but this is just unlistenable.
Radiohead
4/5
I'd give it 3.5 if I could. It's too noodly, tbh.
Arcade Fire
4/5
I'd give it 3.5 if I could. It's too noodly, tbh.
The Mamas & The Papas
3/5
Not for me, but I get its historical place.
Aerosmith
4/5
One of the single hardest album openings of all time. A long-time karaoke standard for me.
Miles Davis
3/5
Just not my kind of music, but this is less grating than most.
Stereo MC's
2/5
Not really my jam, but a few of the tracks are OK; British hip hop just doesn't land for me.
Count Basie & His Orchestra
1/5
Good God no. I hate Jazz.
Marvin Gaye
5/5
An absolute classic. Non-stop bangers. He was taken from us much too soon.
Morrissey
3/5
He's an absolute fucking wank but his early solo stuff like this was quite good, albeit not as good as The Smiths. Would never listen to his solo stuff voluntarily nowadays, though.
Various Artists
3/5
I'd give it 3.5 if I could. Pretty decent versions of these songs but the underlying ickiness of Phil Spector takes the shine off it.
Roxy Music
3/5
I'd give it 3.5 if I could. I need to listen to it a few more times. It doesn't seem to quite land for me, but I thnk I need to know the songs a bit more.
Pulp
5/5
An incredible album and a delight to listen to at anytime. BY FAR the best of all "Britpop" type albums.
Radiohead
3/5
Not for me. Trying too hard. Liked it at the time.
Neil Young
5/5
A stone cold classic. I prefer angry electric Neil to contemplative acoustic Neil, but both are great.
The Monks
4/5
This goes hard, actually. A nice little discovery. Gonna listen to it twice.
The Rolling Stones
5/5
A classic. Somehow a band both in transition and at their peak. Probably the album with the most Keith.
Funkadelic
5/5
Absolutely tremendous and probably the coda of P-Funk's prime, more or less.
The Smiths
4/5
4.5 stars. Loses 12 a star for Morrisey being an utterly repulsive human being.
Astrud Gilberto
2/5
Nah. Not for me. This is music for happy people who don't hate their existence every single day.
The Fall
5/5
This album goes so hard it actually managed to cut through my anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation for a few minutes.
The Avalanches
1/5
Unlistenable junk. Definitely made sure to keep a careful eye on YouTube so I wouldn't actually listen to the remixes and bullshit rom the Extended Edition.
George Harrison
3/5
It's OK, but I kind of want it to go harder. Whole album just has kind of a depressed nostalgia vibe.
Willie Nelson
3/5
Probably really 2.5 stars, but: (1) this thing doesn't let me give 1/2 stars; and (2) it deserves an extra star for managing to get me all the way to "this isn't that bad" and thus somewhat overcome my lifelong anti-Willie bias derived from my Dad hating him and call him "The Bedbug."
Drive-By Truckers
4/5
Enjoyed it and like a lot of stuff in this genre, but probably requires a bit more of a sit down and listen than a "have it playing while you're at work. Four stars because I automatically support any attempt at reviving the rock opera format with gusto.
Kraftwerk
3/5
I have tremendous respect for the historical significance of these particular bleeps and bloops but it really just doesn't fuck at all, does it?
Taylor Swift
3/5
Really, it's 2.5 stars. Not for me but a few of these songs at least sound like a blander version of CHVRCHES.
Oasis
4/5
Goes pretty hard, tbh. It's utterly mindless and pretty derivative but a good time nonetheless.
Johnny Cash
5/5
Oh fuck yes! I have had a lifelong antipathy to country music (largely due to the racist fake cowboys I went to high school with) but this album absolutely fucks and is a big part of what got me to give some country music a chance.
Madonna
3/5
Some of these songs go a little bit, actually, especially the title track but it felt very derivative/bandwagony at the time and it's not something I'd ever listen to of my own volition.
Elvis Presley
4/5
Not a big Elvis guy, really, but it cannot be denied that In the Ghetto/Suspicious Minds back-to-back absolutely slaps. It's really 3.5, not 4, but I'm rounding up on principle because Memphis is one of my very favourite places.
Pixies
5/5
I actually like Doolittle better but this is just such a great album. Too bad some of the videos on YouTube are age-restricted because I simply will not log into YouTube.
Dire Straits
1/5
Ass. Noodly ass. Mark Knopfler's got to be the most over-rated guitarist of all time.
Portishead
5/5
This album gives me an instant erection. Too bad the girl who had this CD in her purse at all times and insisted on me putting it on every time we fucked turned out to be an absolute nutter. Good while it lasted, though. Six stars, really.
Ian Dury
1/5
This is some novelty song garbage. Unlistenable dreck, but with naughty words.
It will get one listen ever and that's it.
Bobby Womack
2/5
I just don't really jibe with early 80s R&B that isn't straight-up funk, really. It just sounds way too smoothed out and over-produced. Very sterile.
Devendra Banhart
1/5
I can't review this noodly bullshit because I died of boredom listening to it.
Joni Mitchell
2/5
Oh. No thank you. I couldn't possibly.
(Just not much of a fan of the half-mumbly/whispery acoustic singer-songwriter type thing, really.)
Violent Femmes
3/5
I loved this when I was made up almost entirely of teenage angst. Now it seems like it's made up almost entirely of teenage angst and much too juvenile.
Duran Duran
3/5
It's alright. Some good tracks but it's a bit . . . whiny isn't quite the right word but the tone is a bit off or something.
JAY Z
4/5
Has some good tracks but can't stand up to The Black Album at all. Really 3.5 stars but you don't gimme my granularities!
Steely Dan
4/5
Pretty good 70s grooves. Made me listen to the Dan the rest of the day.
Tears For Fears
3/5
The two-and-a-half singles are great; all-time classics. The album tracks are dreck; unlistenable garbage. Gets you three stars - smack in the middle of the bell curve.
Fatboy Slim
4/5
Never realized that this album had a different (and very off-putting) cover in the UK. Regardless, I loved the Big Beat scene at the time and although this has aged poorly it still puts one in a pretty good mood.
The Doors
4/5
Peace Frog absolutely slaps and there are a few other decent tracks here. The bluesy tone kind of balances out Morrison's performative weirdness a bit more here than on other albums
Simon & Garfunkel
1/5
Awful. Just awful. Basically an auditory war crime. I want to fight them both and their stupid dorky faces. Worst thing I've ever heard. Also what the hell is with the album cover? Why is Paul blocking half of Art's face? What kind of art direction is this?
Jimmy Smith
2/5
Hitting me with Simon and Garfunkel and jazz on back-to-back days is lowdown and dirty. Cute album cover, though, and I didn't mind the organny bits.
Then the saxophone kicked in.
Talking Heads
3/5
"Psycho Killer" rules but the rest of it is a bit meh and David Byrne has always just struck me as exactly the kind of art school kid who'd annoy the absolute fuck out of me.
The Temptations
4/5
Much more of a Stax guy than a Motown guy but there are just some great cuts here.
Beatles
4/5
I much prefer their later work , but they were really cooking with this one.
U2
4/5
LOL. I wrote a review for Boy instead of War because it's the same kid on the cover.
Love this album, but I really don't think it's aged well probably because it's peak over-the-top earnest Bono - which has become very hard to take over the years. Some great work by Adam Clayton on this album.
Adele
3/5
"Rolling in the Deep" and "Rumour Has It" go hard as fuck and then it becomes nothing but intolerable sad-girl-with-a-piano music. The cover of "Lovesong" is OK.
Bee Gees
2/5
It doesn't really sound at all like what I'm used to the Bee Gees sounding like, which is good. But it also doesn't sound like anything good, which is bad.
Terence Trent D'Arby
1/5
Didn't expect to like it but didn't expect to hate it this much. Doesn't even have his one good song, "Wishing Well."
Janet Jackson
3/5
Not to my tastes at all, but undeniably has some bops and definitely presses some nostalgia buttons. I generally feel uncomfortable listening to anything from the Jacksons, though, due to all the ickiness. A solid 3, though.
Yes
2/5
We are just on a stinky stinky stinky run of music I don't like right now. All You Good People or whatever it's called is OK, but this is very not for me.
The Dandy Warhols
2/5
Just couldn't get into it at all. I think I might like this is I was five days younger.
1/5
This is just unlistenable atonal noise. When I say I really hate jazz this nonsense is exactly what I'm talking about. This is getting-Noriega-to-leave-the-embassy level noise.
Queen
2/5
Just not for me. Obviously Bohemian Rhapsody is ridiculous and fun - mainly because of the Wayne's World connection - but the rest of it is annoying.
Bruce Springsteen
5/5
Walll to wall bangers. An absolute classic. I'm not too cool to unabashedly love The Boss.
X-Ray Spex
4/5
This goes hard. I'm generally anti-sax for the most part but for some reason it really works with this kind of punk.
Motörhead
5/5
Not quite as intense as seeing them in person at the Commodore in Vancouver, but still about as intense as straight-ahead power trio rock can get.
Deep Purple
3/5
I've heard worse. Probably decent for the era in moving towards heavier and kerrangier rock but doesn't really hit like other stuff from back then.
Bill Evans Trio
2/5
Just absolutely not for me. Not as bad as the last jazz they made me listen to, which was some kind of "punk" jazz but still made me feel like I was at the dentist's office.
Tom Waits
2/5
I get what he's trying to do, and it kind of works, but it's not something I'd choose to listen to. I might enjoy reading an illustrated book of the lyrics more.
Talking Heads
4/5
Much more fun and loose than some of their other stuff. You can almost dance to some of it instead of just trying to be cool.
Janis Joplin
4/5
Janis at her very best. Just one of the best to ever do it.
The KLF
5/5
An absolute classic in it's genre - whatever that is - or any genre. One of my all-time "need to feel a bit better about life" albums.
King Crimson
2/5
I kind of get where it fits in the grand scheme of things historically, but it is - like most prog - very not for me.
Supertramp
3/5
A few good tracks in a nostalgic "I remember this from when I was a kid" way, but not a "Oh yeah - this is my jam" way.
Marilyn Manson
2/5
Just insufferable - and that was before all the stuff about him actually being as creepy as he was made out to be coming out. Beautiful People is a good enough track to get a 2nd star, though.
Sparks
4/5
Don't know if I'd buy it or listen to it on my own unprompted but it is crazy how far ahead of its time this sounds. It's like at least 5 years ahead.
Miles Davis
2/5
I just don't like jazz. It gives me the heebie jeebies.
Stevie Wonder
5/5
Definitely a top 10 desert island disc for me. Stevie's absolute peak. A transcendent delight and surefire mood lifter.
Cowboy Junkies
4/5
Margo Timmins has a beautiful voice and I fuck with the stripped-down sound. Also, scratches a powerful Canuck nostalgia itch.
David Bowie
5/5
A master at the absolute peak of his craft. God knows how many different drugs he was on and this may be one of the albums he has no memory of recording but it all produced magic.
Louis Prima
3/5
This isn't my kind of stuff, but it's actually pretty fun and it's crazy how many songs from this album are covers that I didn't realize were covers. Might actually be 3.5 but I'm in a rounding down kinda mood.
Björk
4/5
Never listened to this before. Was interesting and atmospheric, but not as accessible/fun as her earlier stuff. More Sigur Rós than Sugarcubes, I guess.
The Prodigy
2/5
I have some time for this genre, broadly speaking, but none of these songs would get my ass on the dance floor then or now. Like Jason Mendoza at a Skrillex concert I'll be waiting for the bass to drop. And it, it'll never come. Too bleepy bloopy.
Pink Floyd
2/5
Case in point, re: music I do not like. Annoys me, has always annoyed me, will always annoy me. Probably because I don't do drugs and never have, I guess. Two stars for its historical significance and inescapability, I guess.
Jerry Lee Lewis
3/5
Definitely has its place in history, but his stuff has always felt a bit lightweight to me. Also, you know, the whole "marrying his teenaged cousin" thing kind of casts everything in a dark light.
The Style Council
2/5
I get that Paul Weller felt "restricted" by "the rock myth and the rock culture" but while he was restricted The Jam produced banger after banger whereas The Style Council produced twee muck.
Ride
5/5
The absolute pinnacle of the somewhat commercially silly but artistically tremendous "Shoegaze" movement. This album presses my very most powerful late teens/early 20s earnest yearning nostalgia buttons and brings to mind the faces of many girls I never asked out.
Kanye West
4/5
It's truly great - albeit with some filler - and was groundbreaking at the time, but wow is it depressing to listen to now. Loses a star because of that.
The Dictators
3/5
I get it and the "California surf punk meets proto-punk" is interesting, but it doesn't really connect for me.
Motörhead
5/5
The only thing that could possibly improve this masterpiece would be to find a way to play it as loud as they played the title track at that concert I went to at The Commodore in Vancouver in 2002 or so that left me half-deaf for three or four days.
Bob Dylan
2/5
I know. I get it. I'd probably enjoy an all-covers version of this album. But maybe not that much.
OutKast
5/5
A masterpiece from a pair of absolute geniuses. ATL at its finest, though it's probably only my favourite album by them about 25% of the time depending on my mood.
4/5
As evidenced by the album cover, it's a bit too grandiose for my liking but there is no denying that parts of this go extremely hard. Really 3.5 stars, but I'm feeling generous enough to round up. Not something that would be in the regular rotation, but might flip it on when I'm in a certain anthemic-needing mood.
XTC
4/5
Really enjoy this when I remember to put it on. Some real highlights but some of the deep cuts are a little bit kinda wish-washy/fillerish. "Dear God" is a classic.
Sam Cooke
4/5
Sam's great. A little too much banter in the performance but I relistened to this one immediately because it's a dandy pick-me-up on a gloomy Monday morning while I'm having an existential crisis.
Charles Mingus
1/5
Absolute garbage. I hate jazz on principle for the most part but this is even worse than the norm. Sounds like somebody who just ate a half dozen bean burritos from Taco Bell farting into a microphone.
Jimi Hendrix
5/5
Weird the site says "Jimi Hendrix" instead of "The Jimi Hendrix Experience" but it's absolutely wall-to-wall with great tracks. Seem to remember every noted even though I haven't listened to this in ages.
Electric Light Orchestra
4/5
Really 3.5 stars but it gets a bit of a bump up because of the GOTG influence from Mr. Blue Sky. Pretty pathetic to be nostalgic for a movie less than 10 years old, but there was at least still some hope for humanity and the future back then. Did listen to it twice.
Aretha Franklin
5/5
An iconic genius at her absolute peak. Classic after classic after classic. My only regret is that she didn't record it at Stax.
Germs
3/5
This one goes in the category of "I can appreciate it's historical importance in a genre that I like but I just don't really fuck with it." Gonna give it a second listen but I'm just not hearing it.
Fela Kuti
4/5
Fela's stuff rules, but he was so incredibly prolific that it's hard to keep it all straight. I prefer "Teacher Don't Teach Me Nonsesnse" but this is great and set me off in the direction of a 55-video Fela playlist on YouTube.
Beck
2/5
His stuff felt tired in the late 90s, tbh. I recognize a couple of these tracks but this all seems very unnecessary to me and an odd addition to this list.
Slayer
2/5
I recognize the technical quality and some of the riffs are cool but, although I like some other stuff in the genre, Slayer has just never ever connected for me. It's almost felt very sterile somehow.
Roni Size
2/5
I really liked drum and bass back in the late 90s, but this one just doesn't stick with me. Listened to it a month ago, forgot to write a review, listened to it again. Still doesn't do anything for me like a lot of stuff in similar genres from that era does.
The Stooges
4/5
Goes hard as fuck, but not quite as hard as Funhouse. The stuff about how fucked up the mix is was interesting - they used three out of 24 tracks and when they brought David Bowie in to mix it he was like "What do you expect me to do here?"
Tito Puente
3/5
It's OK. Sounds like the music a hack director would play over a scene just to indicate to the less attentive audience members "We're in Latin America now!"
Skepta
1/5
British people simply should not be allowed to rap.
Moby Grape
3/5
It definitely has a sense of time and space and I listened to it three times to try and see if any of the tracks stood out, but none really did.
Peter Gabriel
3/5
There are some excellent tracks on here but "Sledgehammer" and "Big Time" got so overplayed on both MuchMusic and terrestrial radio that it's a hard listen.
Finley Quaye
2/5
Kind of like reggae but very very boring and unmemorable. Another one that I listened to a month ago, didn't get around to reviewing at the time, and had to return to.
The Velvet Underground
5/5
Not my favourite Velvet Underground album but tremendous from start to finish. Has always made me wanted to start a band, until I remember I have no musical talent or hand-eye co-ordination.
Frank Sinatra
3/5
Even though this album is much older than I am it reminds me of being young and having hope. Therefore I hate it very much, but it's still good for what it is.
Marvin Gaye
5/5
This album is go damn good I don't even mind that Marvin couldn't even make it to Side B before ripping off the title/opening track with "Keep Gettin' It On." An absolute master at the height of his powers. I don't recommend listening to "You Sure Love to Ball" at work, though.
The Incredible String Band
1/5
This felt like a form of punishment. Went to Wikipedia and "Scottish psychedlic folk" felt like a threat. I want to fight everyone on this album cover, including the small children and the dog.
Beastie Boys
5/5
It's the reverse of a lot of artists because swaths of this album are pretty offensive if not downright misogynist, but it's kind of OK because they all matured into awesome dudes (RIP MCA) which kind of makes it tolerable. Also, it goes hard.
Neil Young
4/5
I love all the various versions of Neil and Harvest has a few great tracks on it but I must reserve my greatest acclaim for Neil for the harder rocking versions of Neil. Alabama goes hard, though.
The Chemical Brothers
5/5
I'm a sucker for the mid-to-late 90s big beat/electronica sound (even though I never did MDMA and found people who did unbearably annoying) and this is one of my very favourite albums in that genre.
The Smashing Pumpkins
5/5
Almost took a star off because this album is another one that brings back powerful feelings of being young and happy and having hope for the future, but I have to admit it's still awesome.
Joni Mitchell
1/5
Having to listen to this felt like I was in trouble for something. It's bad enough when it's all folky and droning but then it gets kind of jazzy as it goes along? Blech.
Mercury Rev
1/5
This album does not fuck. At all. It is entirely possible no album has ever fucked less. Is that a theremin I'm hearing or a glockenspiel? Who gives a fuck. Never ever listening to this shit again.
Funkadelic
5/5
One of five Funkadelic albums (and three Parliament albums) I listened to on the weekend and it's one of their very finest. Some great - and heavy - guitar work on this album.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
5/5
This is, for the most part, the harder rocking version of Neil that I love unreservedly. Powderfinger rules. Shame about the Kurt Cobain suicide lyrics; that guy did Neil dirty.
Boston
1/5
Possibly my most hated album of all time. The songs are fine to good, actually, but Side 1 of it was the warm-up tape for the late 80s/early 90s Richmond Colts and fuck them. They tried to play this during the warm-up to the 1990 BC Final, but Ollie High wouldn't stand for that and there was a big kerfuffle at the scorer's table. Then we beat that ass.
Little Simz
2/5
British people still should not be allowed to rap.
(Gets a 2nd star because the beats on some of the tracks aren't bad.)
David Bowie
5/5
It's a damn shame this man couldn't keep doing cocaine at this heroic level because this is an absolutely brilliant album. His later stuff is good too, but even though he didn't quite remember recording it this might be his best.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
3/5
I have heard of this band but never heard it. Had no idea they even had a female singer. I guess it's OK but it seemed like all the songs were trying to be big grandiose anthems without actually accomplishing that.
Bill Callahan
2/5
If this mumbly motherfucker can't be bothered to actually sing I can't be bothered to ever listen to this utter garbage again. This is a desperate "add something new" entry to the list. Gets a second star because it very nearly helped me have a nice little desk nap.
Stereolab
3/5
I'd heard of this and I think that - as a diehard 90s alternative music snob - I'm supposed to like this, but I don't. I wasn't at all surprised when I checked Wikipedia and discovered one of them was French.
Ali Farka Touré
4/5
Never heard of this guy in my life but after one listen I'm now dedicating the rest of my life to be really insufferably into the desert blues.
Santana
3/5
Another one that I don't really vibe with. Get that it has its place in history but I just find it boring - possibly partly because of that terrible song with the Matchbox 20 guy from like 40 years later.
Bert Jansch
2/5
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Boring acoustic folk garbage where every mumbly song sounds the same. Not aggressively terrible, but profoundly uninteresting.
John Coltrane
3/5
I am a long-time confirmed hater of Jazz, but this actually isn't bad. Not something I'd prefer to listen to but nowhere near as grating as most jazz as something playing in the background. Also, the pianist could definitely go.
The Rolling Stones
5/5
A stone cold classic. If a space alien asked you what rock and roll was, this is the album I'd play them. Well, this and Let it Bleed and Sticky Fingers. No notes whatsoever. Listened to it four straight times.
Björk
4/5
Loved it at the time but it feels just a little bit dated at the time. I've always liked the Sugarcubes a bit more than her solo stuff anyhow. Mostly, though, I really want to go out with the cover of this album.
The Byrds
3/5
By the time this album finished I didn't remember having listened to it. I'm sure it was jangly.
Country Joe & The Fish
1/5
My colleague just walked into my office and asked me "What the fuck are you listening to now?!" Specifically, it was track #10, "The Masked Marauder." Here are the complete lyrics:
La la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
Big Brother & The Holding Company
4/5
Janis was brilliant. She's one of the greatest rock and roll singers of all time and it's a shame we never got more from her. Backing band is pretty good too. A lot of late 60s American rock music is over-rated dreck but this is really good.
The Beach Boys
5/5
Absolutely unfuckwithable.
Alice In Chains
3/5
The lessest of the Seattle grunge bands. Absolutely has some standout tracks, but a bit uneven overall. Really a 3.49. I would've given it 3.5 and rounded up buy Layne Staley's chin ponytail and wraparound shades STILL annoy the shit out of me.
Fats Domino
3/5
I appreciate its historical place and gave it two listens but nothing stuck in my brain except for "Blueberry Hill."
Ray Price
3/5
Didn't mind this at all. Seems a bit more "authentic" than much of the godawful unlistenable schlock that has come out of Nashville since. Wild that Willie was his guitarist.
Thin Lizzy
4/5
TIL Thin Lizzy had at least 15 other songs that weren't about the boys being back in town or a jailbreak. They're pretty good too!
Steve Winwood
4/5
I don't actually like this, but I'm giving it four stars anyhow because I'm a sucker for "this dude played all the instruments on this album." Such a weird little guy thing to do. Just puttering around in his basement doing his thing.
The Cars
5/5
Listening to "Moving in Stereo" at the office: perhaps the very most dangerous game.
The Zutons
2/5
This was astonishingly unmemorable. Never heard of them before and will likely never hear of them again but this bears a whiff off DEI for white guys playing guitar-based music in the 21st Century.
Tina Turner
2/5
Tina is an all-time great, but this is some arid and soulless 1980s synthesized slop. Gets an extra star because, even though Simply the Best isn't actually on this album, it was very funny how mad Rangers were when Celtic started singing it at Ibrox.
Dire Straits
2/5
Noodly easy-listening dreck. I know Knopfler's supposed to be a genius but this album has just never done anything for me.
Beatles
5/5
Many are much too cool for them, but I think it's really interesting and enjoyable to hear where they started from and appreciate how far they travelled musically over the next half-decade.
The Who
5/5
I have never taken drugs but were I to take drugs I would want to take the drugs that Pete Townsend was on when he came up with this one.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
5/5
I like his stuff/this genre generally, but this album has a bunch of his best tracks: "Radio Radio," "Pump It Up," "(I Don't Want To Go To) Chelsea," "This Year's Model." A tryhard nerd icon.
Al Green
5/5
This albums is so good that it's absolutely mind-boggling that it's not a Stax release. Absolutely wall-to-wall and no skips.
Crosby, Stills & Nash
2/5
Jangly crap. "The harmonies are wonderful"; yeah, awesome to hear shitty songs three times over. Useless without Neil, imo.
The Clash
5/5
Without question my desert island disc. An incredibly diverse album that effortlessly traverses an absolutely wild range of musical styles. Six stars if I could.
The Police
4/5
Good album, but not my favourite of theirs. They sure pumped out a lot of good material in under five years, even though their albums tended to have some serious b-side filler.
Joy Division
5/5
Perfect music to have a nervous breakdown to. New Order was great but Ian Curtis may be #2 to Otis in the "taken from us much much too soon" stakes.
Beatles
4/5
I love this album, but it really suffers from the Use Your Illusion syndrome of "You know this would be awesome if you'd exercised a little bit of self-control and kept it to a tight 12 tracks, right?" The madness is kind of what makes it great in both cases, though.
Ice T
3/5
My impressions of this are probably a bit coloured by his subsequent descent into being a human meme, but it really screams "past his prime, lost his edge, and searching for a new gimmick" to me.
The Band
2/5
Honestly, I don't really want to hear from Bob Dylan, let alone his hugely boring back-up band or whatever.
R.E.M.
4/5
It's not bad for a major label debut/commerical/"sellout" album and "Orange Crush" is one of their very best tracks, but overall it's a steeeeeeep dropoff from their first five albums.
Fugazi
3/5
I know Fugazi is supposed to be important to the history of punk somehow but after listening to this one three times I have got absolutely nothing for you. It's . . . fine but completely unmemorable.
Cyndi Lauper
4/5
A surprisingly fun little slice of place-and-time delight. Pretty much every track is listenable when you'd think it would be as "two/three hits and lots of filler as any album going.
Stevie Wonder
4/5
A great album in isolation, but it pales in contrast to the other four albums he put out in this era. It's like being a 5th starter with a 3.00 ERA when the other four starters are all sub 2.00.
Manic Street Preachers
4/5
I actually quite like the Manics, especially that one album that's really good whose name I can't remember, but I listened to this twice today and I literally can't remember anything about it. Hope they find the guy who's been missing, 30 years though.
Cypress Hill
3/5
Ground-breaking production and all, but B-Real's voice annoys the fucking shit out of me (and songs about weed are boring, although there was more of that on their later albums.)
The Rolling Stones
5/5
Probably their peak. Bought a copy of Tattoo You on vinyl this week and while it's a perfectly cromulent album it doesn't even remotely compare to this masterpiece.
Rod Stewart
4/5
A master at the peak of his powers. Great songwriting an storytelling with record-breaking levels of raspiness. One star off for being a Tory bastard.
Def Leppard
5/5
This album is absolute garbage with no redeeming artistic or cultural value whatsoever. I love it so fucking much.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
This album fucks. Seems like they were much less into Tolkien at the time.
SZA
2/5
Modern R&B bores me to tears. This one made it through my eardrums but not a single track made it to the part of my brain that remembers tunes. Pretty sure I already listened to this when I was listening to Rolling Stone's top 500 albums in order.
Bob Dylan
3/5
Every Dylan album should have been required to come out with an accompanying cover album by people who can actually sing. We need to resurrected Otis Redding. Two stars off for the horrible sounds.
The Beach Boys
2/5
Wonder if it's a coincidence that this got served up the day after Brian Wilson died. You can tell that he wasn't as involved in this one because, uh, I dunno, it's just kind of there, I guess? Listened to it twice and nothing stuck. Really weird to hear a huge nostalgia band's album and not recognize a single track.
Foo Fighters
1/5
I have never listened to this album in its entirety before but I know almost every song on here, entirely against my will. Just derivative beige song after derivative beige song after derivative beige song. I hate it so so much.
Steely Dan
4/5
Not absolutely peak Dans but pretty good Dans, all things considered.
Slint
2/5
Mumble. Mumble. Mumble. Mumble. Mumble. Mumble. I think I already listened to this auditory ZzzQuil when I was listening to the Rolling Stone 500 Album list in order and it has not become any more memorable.
Metallica
5/5
I know some consider it the weakest real Metallica album, but I love it. The bit where they turned Newsted's bass way way down in the final mix is hilarious, though.
The Band
2/5
I shall be released . . . from listening to this dogshit album. One bonus star for that one song that has the organ bit that's been used in a lot of movies.
Red Snapper
3/5
I guess it's alright for what it is. I don't mind trip hop type stuff, but this really felt like "elevator music for people who like drugs" or something.
The Verve
4/5
I forgot how much I love this album. Might actually be better/deeper than Urban Hymns. Loses a star for reminding me of being young and having hope for my life and the world, though.
Bob Marley & The Wailers
4/5
This is "gritty Kingston" Bob Marley much more than "dorm room poster" Bob Marley and it's all the better for it. Never listened to him in a non-greatest hits format before but it was well worth it.
The Sabres Of Paradise
2/5
Boring bleeps and bloops, but harmless. Never heard it before and I'll never hear it again.
Korn
1/5
When this first came out I thought it was the worst thing I'd ever heard in my damn life and that it was a harbinger of the inexorable decay of society.
I was right.
Fleetwood Mac
4/5
It's not quite Rumours but it fucks pretty consistently. Still seem to be a few good songs about how much everybody in the band hates everybody else. Loses one star because USC destroyed the Pac-12.
John Prine
4/5
This sounds just like Bob Dylan would if he didn't suck quite so bad. "Pretty Good" is an out-and-out banger. He's trying a little bit too hard with the album cover, though.
Adele
2/5
Boy oh boy are these ever a lot of songs about feelings. I've killed all those so this does nothing for me. She only has one song I fuck with, and it's not on this album.
Brian Eno
3/5
Not the worst bleeps and blorps I've ever heard but not really worth listening to again unless I do a dissertation on the history of electronic music and the alientation of the self in our technological age.
Arcade Fire
4/5
This is probably the last indie/alternative type album I really loved before I became fully formed as a hateful curmudgeon. One star off for reminding me of the last tiny glimpses of hope.
Prince
4/5
Not sure if this is his absolute peak, but if it isn't it's close. Half point off for the title track being over played during Y2K and half point off for too much purple.
Eminem
2/5
He's brilliant and all, but by fuck is this painful to listen to in 2025 (and I could barely tolerate it at the time). A whole album of a guy you just want to tell to shut the fuck up the whole time.
U2
4/5
At first it aged really well, but now it's really old and some of the low points are really low. I massively respect them for trying something totally different even if it was a bit out of their lane.
Little Richard
4/5
This goes pretty hard, actually (once you get past Tutti Frutti and the sub-Flair quality wooing). I'm a sucker for early rock and roll stuff. Really 3.5 but I'm rounding up for historical and cultural reasons.
Jah Wobble's Invaders Of The Heart
2/5
Listened to this twice and literally can't remember a note of it. I think Sinead and Bono may have been features? I know this guy was in PIL at some point? I'm not even sure what genre this is supposed to be.
Tim Buckley
2/5
Seems harmless but did absolutely nothing for me.
Sade
2/5
I really really dislike smooth sax-heavy 80s R&B. Smooth Operator? Much too smooth for my liking.
Snoop Dogg
5/5
I was such a snooty little NME-reading alt rock/indie kid that I actually disliked this stone cold classic at the time, to my eternal shame. Listening to this and The Chronic back-to-back does make me wonder just how much George Clinton made off of Dr. Dre's producing over the years, though.
Julian Cope
2/5
I dislike performatively deep male voices like this. It's a poor substitute for being an interesting vocalist. This did nothing for me and I think I listened to the dreaded Expanded Edition by accident.
Thelonious Monk
1/5
I was having a shitty enough day and then this stupid fucking website made me listen to jazz. Unlistenable and insufferable garbage. Damn near threw my computer out the window.
The Triffids
2/5
Has there every been an album with a blurry picture of a sad-looking white guy on the cover that didn't suck? Heard it once now; will never hear it again.
Leonard Cohen
2/5
Me a few albums ago: "I dislike performatively deep male voices like this." Me today: "I dislike performatively deep male voices like this even more when they're whispery." Dude has bars, but I'd rather read it than listen to it.
Blondie
4/5
Rock solid top-to-bottom. I'm a sucker for all things new wave and post punk and this one is right up there, tbh.
Arctic Monkeys
2/5
This album voted for Brexit. Nothing surer.
Pavement
5/5
I have absolutely no idea what any of these dudes are singing about in these songs, but I absolutely love this album. It's an all-time "What the fuck is this garbage?" album from my youth. The jocks haaaaaated it.
Leftfield
4/5
I absolutely adore the Brit Beeps and Bloops from this era but Leftism is just one notch behind Underworld, The Orb and Orbital for me. Keep in mind that this is the opinion of somebody who's never taken a drug harder than caffeine, though.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
2/5
I actually quite like a lot of RHCP stuff, especially Mother's Milk, but this is soooooooooooooooooooo fucking bad. Two stars because there are a few songs where they let Flea remind them this is supposed to be - to some extent - funky and punky.
George Michael
2/5
Slow songs are torture (he shouldn't be allowed to cover Stevie) but the up-tempo songs are tolerable. An extra star for the time I was dancing with an absolutely stunning med student friend-of-a-friend's-girlfriend to Freedom and, after an exchange of flirtatious banter, she two-hand shoved me while I was of my feet and accidentally sent me flying about 20' across the dance floor taking people out like bowling pins. Did I end up hooking up with her? God no, she burst out crying and ran out of the club bawling her eyes out, but it was one of the very funniest of the many many ways I've managed to not get laid over the years.
2Pac
2/5
I just don't like 2Pac and never really have, with the exception of California Love. He always felt super-fake to me, even in a genre of very fake personas. Might just be that people who I knew who were really into 2Pac were super-annoying.
Malcolm McLaren
1/5
I did not need to hear this album before I died or at any other time.
The Killers
4/5
This CD is buried somewhere in the dashboard of my "champagne"/beige 20021 Honda Civic sedan because I managed to insert the CD between the stereo and the dashboard instead of in the slot where CDs go. Too bad, it's a more than decent album, except for the last song which might be the single worst thing I've ever heard; should have called it a day at 11 tracks.
Emmylou Harris
2/5
Twingy twangy, something about the Bible. I'm sure it's fine but just not at all my cup of tea, really.
Meat Loaf
1/5
I always thought my contempt for this was just some residual teenaged snobbery but now that I've listened to the whole album, no, this just absolutely sucks. Musical/opera sounding bullshit with strings and nonsense. Get it to fuck.
Television
5/5
This has got to be one of the single greatest guitar albums of all time. Nothing else sounds quite like it. Shame they were damn near one and done.
The Yardbirds
4/5
I really enjoyed this. I've always known the Yardbirds are historically important, but never knew where to put them. Still don't know where to put them but this is fun.
Black Sabbath
5/5
Well, this is absolutely the "One Album a Day" version of a cheap pop and a way to goose the numbers for this album, but it absolutely goes hard as fuck and would fully deserve the 5 stars on any other day as well.
RIP Ozzy
Metallica
1/5
Literally no album has ever been less necessary. I'd say it ruined their legacy, but pretty much everything they'd recorded since "...And Justice For All" had already done that. "Nominally speed metal with a symphony" remains one of the single dumbest ideas I've heard of nevertheless.
Eagles
2/5
Althought I'd never listened to it I was pretty sure I hated this album based on the singles (except for Life in the Fast Lane, which gets a pass for its use in Fast Times at Ridgemont High). It's actually even worse than I thought.
The xx
3/5
Twee, but not insufferably so. Decent enough background music but I'd be surprised if I ever listened to it again.
Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
3/5
Enjoyed this, but I'll be damned if it didn't make me ravenously hungry for an Indian buffet. Also the first album I've been served up that didn't have a Wikipedia page.
Songhoy Blues
4/5
An absolutely delightful surprise. An updated take on Ali Farka Toure's desert blues; will be listening to the rest of their stuff now. Also, second album in a row without a Wikipedia page.
Iron Maiden
4/5
An album that goes so hard I was able to overcome my decades-long aversion to Iron Maiden caused by Brad Smoliak, the bully who tormented me every day of Grade 5.
Until I put his ass in the hospital.
The Doors
3/5
I would have given this four stars, because I really do like some of these songs (although they're extremely out of fashion), but The End may be the single worst track ever included on a major label release.
Soft Cell
2/5
There's really not a lot here beyond Tainted Love, which is an all-time great cover. I did like that there was a song called Sex Dwarf, though - not that I remember what it sounded like.
4/5
Good mindless fun and a great singalong. Noel Gallagher will always primarily be the Inspiral Carpets' roadie to me, though.
Fairport Convention
2/5
The more Celtic-sounding bits are close to being good, but nah. It's supposed to be folk rock but there's very little rock here, tbh. Just makes me want to listen to the Wolfetones or The Pogues.
Elis Regina
2/5
I don't like jazz. I like Brazilian jazz more than some other jazz, but I still don't like jazz.
Super Furry Animals
3/5
I had heard of this band but never heard any of their songs. Somehow, just from the year of the album, the album cover, and the name I knew exactly what they'd sound like. It's fine, but I think 1996 is the dividing line after which all indie-type stuff is for the youths, not me.
The Velvet Underground
5/5
A shimmering work of incadescent genius. Listened to it three times straight. I'm like 99% sure I'd find every single one of them absolutely insufferable (and would want to fight Lou reed within about two minutes), but this is the best of the best and the top of the tops.
Joan Armatrading
2/5
Just didn't do anything for me. I'd listen to it a second time to see if it hits different on repeat, but I don't want to.
Bauhaus
1/5
It's kind of like Joy Division, but if they couldn't make songs that sound good. Unfortunately, this is not the album with Bela Lugosi's Dead on it.
Bruce Springsteen
5/5
I love Sad Bruce singing about losers so so much. Way better than The Boss, who is also great. Probably not a great sign for my mental health how much I identify with the loser protagonists in these songs.
4/5
This must have been mind-blowing to hear at the time but it doesn't quite stand up to his later peak. He must not have discovered quite the right cocktail of drugs yet.
Coldcut
4/5
I like these bleeps and blorps much better. This album fucks, actually. Mindless fun during our current exeptionally grim times.
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
3/5
It's alright, I guess. The Young isn't quite enough to make up for the Crosby, Stills, & Nash, imo.
Ray Charles
4/5
Don't like it as much as Modern Sounds in Country and Western Music, which is fucking astonishingly good, but I listened to it four times in a row, so it must be pretty damn good too.
The Who
5/5
Damn it. I'm going to have to find a copy of this on vinyl, aren't I? I love The Who, but this is an ever more interesting listen than I'd thought. You can see just a bit of Townshend's subsequent weirdness poking through.
Billy Joel
2/5
This album is just Boomer suburbanism in its purest form. A few decent tracks, I guess.
Cat Stevens
2/5
I generally despise folk rock - plug your fucking guitar into an amp, FFS. This is worse than most, but it gets a bonus star because that one song worked really well in one of the Guardians of the Galaxy movies.
Deerhunter
1/5
Is it "Deerhunter" by Halcyon Digest or "Halcyon Digest" by Deerhunter? I'll never know because this is unlistenable dreck.
Sebadoh
5/5
An absolute masterpiece that I would probably hate if it was something new that came out in 2025 that I accidentally heard.
Kings of Leon
1/5
The sound of an entire genre of music falling dead on its ass as a meaningful cultural force. Wretched.
Elliott Smith
2/5
n the immortal words of DJ Hennessy Youngman: "Awwwwwwww! Sad white guy!" Bonus star for a funny bit in the YouTube clip for the song "Pictures of Me" where they cut from a picture of the sad white guy to a blank screen when he says "So sick of pictures of me." I chuckled.
The Blue Nile
2/5
I'm on a serious run of sad white guy music right now. Genre variously described as sophisti-pop, synth-pop, ambient, and blue-eyed soul. Whatever it is, it's not for me.
Elbow
2/5
The algorithm must know I'm a sad white guy these days because I am on a horrible run of sad white guy music and I don't like it.
Van Morrison
3/5
Choosing to listen to this album voluntarily would be like choosing to sit in the back of my Mom's metallic green Buick in 1979.
George Michael
2/5
I was horribly snobby at the time and though I was too good for this bland nonsense. I was right.
The Byrds
3/5
There are some good songs here but it's all just too reverse derivative of a lot of jangly harmonizing stuff that I used to love but now kind of hate because it seems like happy person music.
Coldplay
1/5
I know it's a stereotype for snooty little shits like me who think they have impeccable musical taste to hate on this band/album but, honestly, if I could punch any album in its face this would be the one. Formerly unavaoidable utter crap.
Pixies
5/5
A straight up fucking masterpiece. No album has ever been more my shit. Fuck it, I'm listening to it for the rest of the work day.
The Beta Band
4/5
Had never actually listened to this, but it's quite good. Ignored it because "band broke up immediately after releasing this album" albums tend to be a bit shite, but it's closer to The Three EPs and their debut than I'd have thought.
Arcade Fire
4/5
I got The Suburbs earlier this week and it still hit, but this one really doesn't hit at all anymore. Weird.
Amy Winehouse
5/5
Saw the album title. Thought "Fuck yeah! AC/DC! Five stars!"
Re-read the album title. Thought "Fuck yeah! Amy Winehouse! Five Stars!"
Koffi Olomide
4/5
I have no idea what we call this genre, where in Africa or the African diaspora this dude is from, or what in the hell he is singing about, but it had me absolutely bopping in my office chair.
Maxwell
2/5
I didn't mind the opening instrumental, but the rest of this is a kind of smooth mid-90s R&B I can't stand (probably largely because no girls wanted to dance with me to songs like this).
Depeche Mode
4/5
A good album, but not quite a great album. They absolutely hit their peak with Violator. This one has a few too many slow/whiny songs.
Sly & The Family Stone
5/5
Yet another masterpiece I have on vinyl and listened to the other day. Sly was an absolute genius. Too bad he did just a little bit too much of the wrong kind of drugs to sustain his peak for a few more albums.
Johnny Cash
5/5
Classic for a reason. I still revile modern commercial country music but The Man in Black is the real deal (and quite funny to boot). I also like he went back to the prison concert well repeatedly.
Queen
1/5
I am a sucker for rock opera but I absolutely hate rock where the singer is trying to sing opera. This albums is absolute dogshit, except for a couple of songs where other people sing.
Green Day
4/5
Forgot how much I like stuff like this and Rancid; much much better than the subsequent derivative "pop" "punk" dreck it inspired. Denied a 5th star by the idiotic hidden track.
Rod Stewart
3/5
Decent Rod but nowhere near his creative peak, imo. Doesn't really hit for me except for "It's All Over Now," which is fantastic.
Prince
2/5
This has got to be an all-time "Oh no, this genius has too much money and is too famous and the quality of his music is about to go straight off a cliff" album. Love the little purple guy but this is much worse than I remembered.
Elvis Costello
2/5
Just don't get this one at all. There must be at least six other Elvis Costello albums in the book because this one doesn't have anything noteworthy at all about it. It's a paradigmatic "this guy used to be good" album.
Beatles
5/5
I think this is their high point. I would say it's "Revolver," which goes a bit harder, but my socialist principles preclude me from giving the nod to an album that opens with "Taxman."
Peter Gabriel
4/5
I think I've listened to this album six times in a row now and I still don't know whether I like it or not, but I guess I don't hate it? It probably squeaks a 3.5 and gets rounded up because Solsbury Hill is a great song.
Orbital
5/5
Had to listen to it all the way through to try to figure out if there was a way to give it six stars (even though I actually think Orbital is their best album rather than Orbital).
R.E.M.
5/5
As is so often the case for me, a band's album with the heaviest guitars is my favourite album of theirs.
Britney Spears
3/5
Not even remotely my cup of tea, but the singles have OK hooks and in my old age I'm much more amendable to late 90s stuff that's sort of mindless fun . A remarkable lack of effort was put into the non-singles here.
Steely Dan
4/5
Sunny spring Sunday afternoon music (complimentary). This album consists largely of songs I know but didn't know I knew or know who sang them.
T. Rex
2/5
Listened to this one so many times, but I just couldn't get my head around whether I liked it. Turns out, I don't. It's the glam rock equivalent of Jason Mendoza's Skrillex concert where the beat never drops.
Soundgarden
3/5
Has some good songs, but Louder than Love and Badmotorfinger absolutely blow it out of the water. Yes I know I'm an insufferable "I actually prefer their earlier stuff from before you plebes had even heard of them" guy but in this case I'm entirely right.
Milton Nascimento
4/5
I liked this. No idea what these songs are about but it had kind of a chill vibe. Seems like the kind of thing I'd enjoy listening to while drinking a beer in the sun. You know, if I drank beer or could stand setting in the sun.
The Beta Band
4/5
Probably their best album, although there are a couple of terrible tracks hidden in there. Still, at least it doesn't have The Beta Band Rap on it.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
1/5
More like Nick Cave and the Bad Songs, imo. I hated this album so much I stayed at the album an hour late just so I wouldn't have to listen to the rest of it in the morning.
Isaac Hayes
4/5
This album/soundtrack fucking rules, although it's kinda funny they didn't actually cast Isaac Hayes as John Shaft.
Moby
3/5
I have a "post review right after listening" rule, so it took me 10 times through to decide whether I still like this or not. I don't think I do. I still really respect what he did here by incorporating samples of old blues tracks into modern electronic stuff, but it doesn't hit.
The Go-Betweens
2/5
I might like this if I was Australian and I grew up with it? All much too jangly and twee and unmemorable for my liking.
4/5
My sister and I had a big fight when she derided Side 2 as "some hippy bullshit" and I said Side 2 was better than Side 1. I was right - it really holds up. Loses a star because the Canucks stopped using "Where the Streets Have No Name" as their intro music.
Tracy Chapman
2/5
Boy, I really don't fuck with this kind of folk music at all. A 2nd star because Fast Car has a Dylanesque "if somebody with a decent voice and an electric guitar covered this it might go, actually" vibe to it.
Django Django
3/5
This was alright, Kind of sounds like The Beta Band but bland. The Beta Bland.
Massive Attack
5/5
I put "Fuck yeah!" in my notes but forgot to finish the review. Upon further reflection, that's entirely sufficient. An album so innovative I'd Mandela Effected it coming out 5-7 years later than it did.
Alice Cooper
2/5
Decidedly mid and surprisingly inconsequential. Gets a 2nd star for what's his face's use of the title track in the paddling/hazing scene in Dazed and Confused.
The Mars Volta
3/5
I like some of the sounds these dudes make but none of the sounds actually seem to amount to songs.
Ash
4/5
Somehow this one entirely slipped past me even though it's from my era. I liked it. Might listen to it again sometime.
David Bowie
5/5
Iconic. Legendary. Impactful. A vibe.
One of the worst album covers I've ever seen in my life. Looks like a guy who failed out of mime college. Also, I'm pretty sure track 9 was written and recorded by a Canada Goose.
The Damned
3/5
I dunno, it kind of falls between the two stools of punk and post punk for me, I guess? Nothing I actively hated but nothing that stuck. I'm probably just too old.
Justice
4/5
First time I listened to this, I thought "this kind of sounds like Dollar Store Daft Punk." Turns out they're also French folks signed to the same label. Thought it was decent, but I'm in the office by myself, so I turned it up as loud as I could and it's quite good.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
Incredibly good considering it's basically just an odds and sods album. It has Kashmir on it. It has to get five stars. That's the law.
Incredible Bongo Band
5/5
f you love hip hop and you've never listened to this madness you absolutely should. Apache is the obvious one but there are a bunch of other tracks here that have been sampled into oblivion. A the-good-drugs-from-the-early-70s-fuelled instrumental masterpiece.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
5/5
If there's one thing y'all need to know about me it's that I loves me some chooglin'. I might need to choogle on down to New Orleans in 2029.
Neneh Cherry
2/5
Didn't really fuck with this at the time. Don't fuck with it now.
Garbage
2/5
I'd never listened to this album before. I like Manson as a singer and the singles are decent but I dislike something about them as a band.
ABBA
1/5
As time has gone on I've really mellowed on some stuff I absolutely despised as a kid and come to quite like some of it as my snobbery has lessened.
But not ABBA. Not fucking ABBA.
Le Tigre
4/5
They came in super hot with a huge Peter Hookesque bassline on the first track, then kind of settled down into some fun and kooky stuff. 4th star for getting in super early on making fun of Rudy Giuliani.
Sonic Youth
5/5
Almost gave it six stars by accident. An all-time favourite and I only regret that my desktop doesn't have near enough volume to play this at blindness-inducing volumes.
Tangerine Dream
3/5
Best "kosmiche" album I've ever listened to. Will almost certainly be the only I ever listen to but it wasn't bad for this kind of thing.
Jane's Addiction
5/5
I intentionaly avoid understanding anything about music. It's like not wanting to know a magician's tricks. So I don't know why this sounds so awesome and unique, but it does.
The Coral
1/5
Vocal harmonies aren't a substitute for writing a song that doesn't fucking suck. This band seems like the most annoying kids you went to school with.
Keith Jarrett
1/5
I gather from Wikipedia that this is supposed to be good or remarkable or something. To me it just feels like I'm in trouble for something. This is the exact kind of music you hear against your will at a depressing bar in a huge soulless hotel attached to a convention centre.
My Bloody Valentine
5/5
This is just the worst every try-hard, look-how-cultured-and-hip-and-better-than-you-I-am nonsense music ever. Absolutely fucking love it; just wish I could play it loud enough at the office.
Jean-Michel Jarre
4/5
Bleepy and bloopy, but kind of fun in a 70s sci-fi optimism kind of way.
Stevie Wonder
5/5
Wall to wall bangers. A masterpiece. A culmination of a five-album run that's arguably the greatest in the history of popular music - only slightly tripped up by Fullingness' First Finale being like a quarter notch below the other four. Flip it and Songs in the Key of Life and you have a season 5 of The Wire equivalent.
Fugees
2/5
It's a damn shame we never got more from Lauryn Hill; it's also a damn shame we got this much from Pras and Wyclef. Wyclef did seem like a good dude that time we were both stuck at the border, though.
The Who
4/5
Totes adorbs, imo. Also, never would have gotten the incandescently ridiculous glories of Tommy and Quadrophenia without this precursor.
The Louvin Brothers
3/5
This wasn't completely terrible. I mean, I thought it was the first time around, but on the second time through I was paying enough attention to hear In the Pines, which is great (even though I still like Cobain's version better).
Creedence Clearwater Revival
5/5
Utterly unfuckwithable. The amount of great music they put out in literally 2.5 years is absolutely insane.
Rage Against The Machine
4/5
It goes hard as fuck, but it suffers from being an influence on a whole lot of terrible terrible bands that didn't have the redeeming political content.
Killing Joke
5/5
I'm listening to this for about the 10th straight time. It goes so hard. It's like the missing link between late-70s punk and mid-80s industrial
Kendrick Lamar
4/5
This is a great album and a breakthrough, but I need to leave some room for his future greatnesses even though I don't know if they'll be in the book or not.
Prince
5/5
A transcendent genius at the absolute height of his powers. However, every time I listen to this I wonder was Nikki masturbating "with a magazine" or "WITH a magazine" because the latter sound potentially painful. Or maybe I'm just a bit of a baby about paper cuts.
Dusty Springfield
4/5
A stone cold classic. We all know Son of a Preacher Man, but there are plenty of other great tracks here. Unfortunately, one star off because her final vocal tracks were actually recorded in New York.
LCD Soundsystem
1/5
Nope. Not at all. Not one little bit. Absolutely not. And fuck off with the twee "we put all our song titles in lower case because we're artistes" nonsense.
John Lennon
2/5
At least it doesn't have as much Yoko as Double Fantasy, I guess? When you know a bit about Lennon's personal history "Jealous Guy" is incredibly offputting/creepy.
Eurythmics
2/5
Nah. Literally nothing here of value but the title track.
2/5
I'll never be entirely confident that prog rock wasn't an elaborate and long-running practical joke. Second star because some of this is so absurdly noodly that I chuckled.
Patti Smith
3/5
I don't even get how this is considered punk rock, let alone one of the greatest albums of all time. Like, it's not bad at all but whenever I listen to this I'm like "So, that's it, huh?"
The Cult
3/5
3 absolute bangers and 8 of the most deeply mediocre rock-by-numbers filler tracks you'll ever hear in your life. Can't give it more than three stars in good conscience.
Tori Amos
2/5
This is a lot like Kate Bush but if Kate Bush was, like suuuuuuuuuuper boring instead of being awesome. Every note of this is like "I am an . . . ARTIST!"
The Streets
1/5
Fuck. English rap again. I'm a firm believer in the value of diversity but that doesn't extend to letting Brits try to rap.
(Review posted 45 seconds into the first track.)
A Tribe Called Quest
4/5
An awesome album, but I'm only giving it 4 stars just in case their two albums I like better are on the list. RIP Phife Dawg.
The Sonics
5/5
Just fantastic pure garage rock with a tinge of proto-punk and maybe deep roots of eventual grunge that came out of the same neck of the woods. And now I'm looking for this on Discogs. Damn it.
Paul Weller
2/5
Listened to this 2.5 times and really wanted to like it but it's just one of those albums where literally none of the tracks can adhere to my brain.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
5/5
Probably their best album, which means it should rightfully be given six stars. However, in silly social media ranking exercies, as in life, I oppose grade inflation.
Mike Oldfield
1/5
I'm never sure if my hatred for prog is snobbery or reverse snobbery, but this is crap regardless of that. I tried to give it a chance but it was super-noodly. THEN the guy started announcing the names of instruments. THEN, in Pt. II some guy started growling? Get me the fuck outta here.
Muddy Waters
4/5
I like but don't love this, but I love so much music that it obviously influenced.
Lucinda Williams
4/5
Liked it enough to listen to it two more times and it hit on the 3rd lesson. Will probably listen to some of her recent stuff, which seems to consist mostly of covers of interesting stuff.
Elliott Smith
2/5
This entire album is nothing but the "AWWWWWWWW SAD WHITE GUY" drop from CVS Bangers. This is just the guy with an acoustic guitar at a party singing his original compositions nobody actually wants to hear. Not for me. I must be a different kind of sad white guy.
Abdullah Ibrahim
1/5
Me out loud after literally one bar: "Oh fuck. Not jazz again. I thought it might be something interesting."
Fun Lovin' Criminals
1/5
Utterly inconsequential disposable nonsense.
The Allman Brothers Band
3/5
It's OK, but too noodly. I don't like jams; I like songs.
PJ Harvey
3/5
Listened to this like four times through now and, like, the music is good and her voice is fine but I just don't like the songs, I guess? Not terrible, though.
Gang Starr
4/5
Stone cold classic old school hip hop, but doesn't have any true standout tracks. Hella consistent, though.
David Bowie
4/5
I can totally hear how it has tentacles that influenced all kinds of music I love that came out in the following couple of decades but the "experiments" to "songs that go hard" ratio is just too far out of wack to stand up to a bunch of true five-star albums of his from this era.
Michael Jackson
4/5
Magazine
3/5
Never heard this (or heard of it) before. Probably not a good sign than I thought they were German. I've heard worse though, tbh.
Tricky
3/5
I like trip hop and I like Tricky in Massive Attack, but this is just kind of there. Probably one I'd have liked better if I'd heard it at the time. Did make me want to listen to It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back, though.
The Smiths
4/5
If I ever need to be reminded what it feels like to be a moody and troubled youth this classic will always be there for me. One star off because Moz is a wanker.
Harry Nilsson
5/5
For whatever reason, this is the all-time "I know almost all of these songs and absolutely love several of them ("Gotta Get Up" and "Jump Into the Fire") but have no idea who sang them" album. Shame we didn't get more from him.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
4/5
I've always liked Elvis Costello but this one goes off a cliff after the first half of Side A for me. Only Elvis Costello album I own but I literally forgot I had this one until I saw the alternate cover on Wikipedia.
Genesis
3/5
Some of the music is actually not bad and goes a little bit, but I've got no idea what the fuck is going on with the plot. Makes Tommy seems sensible. Also does Peter Gabriel sound like Phil Collins or vice versa?
The B-52's
4/5
This is a really fun little album. It would be a bit too much to take on heavy rotation but Rock Lobster and Planet Claire are classics (especially because my longest-lived cat was named for the latter.)
Nightmares On Wax
2/5
I like trip hop but I have no idea how this nothingness could possibly have made the list when there's already been a decent amount of trip hop. It's just . . . there? Not terrible, but completely unmemorable.
Solomon Burke
4/5
Does what it says on the can. A good solid bit of popular music history without any true standout tracks.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
It is literally impossible to listen to this album all the way through since Side 1 Track 1 is "Immigrant Song"; I just enc up listening to that over an over even if I'm not what Ragnarok. I can only assume the remaining tracks also go that hard.
Throbbing Gristle
1/5
Avant garde is sometimes code for utter crap. I like weird ambient stuff but this is just unlistenable too clever by half dogshit. Also, that's a really fucked up album cover.
B.B. King
3/5
It's fine, but B.B. King's songs always sound kind of same-ish to me and there's nothing here that really makes it pop.
Nas
5/5
An all-timer from an all-timer. I have no choice but to rate this five stars because: (1) it entirely deserves it; and (2) I'm pretty sure Ladyfriend would kill me in my sleep if I didn't.
Cocteau Twins
4/5
Ethereal AF. The kind of music I really liked as a teen but never bought on cassette and kind of forgot about. Album holds up all the way through.
Jimi Hendrix
3/5
I love Jimi, but this is definitely his "best-selling author refuses to have an editor anymore after two huge hits and you can really really tell" album. Couple of great tracks but not enough for a double album.
The Cardigans
1/5
This sounds like music for people who are happy. I hate it. Nails on a chalkboard. Too twee by three quarters.
Guns N' Roses
5/5
An absolute hydrogen bomb of an album. It's either the most fuckwithable album of the most unfuckwithable album at all time. I would take 1/10th of a point off for the female orgasm sounds in Rocket Queen, though; I get caught out by that every time I listen to this at the office.
TV On The Radio
1/5
This is a prank, right? Wikipedia genres: (1) Avant-pop; (2) dark wave; (3) experimental; and (4) post-punk. More like post-music. Get it in the fucking bin.
Laibach
1/5
German (pejorative).
Turns out it's actually Slovenian but I stand by my original - and correct - take.
Khaled
2/5
TIL Imagine is just as terrible a song with the lyrics in Arabic. Started out strong then fell off a cliff with this terrible cover then bounced back a bit. Three stars but for the Lennonization. Probably still going to get shawarma for lunch tomorrow, though.
Michael Jackson
5/5
I truly won't stop 'til I get enough. Listening to it for a 4th time.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
1/5
I hate the singles but the deep cuts are even worse. Not sure any band has ever had a steeper drop off that the one they had from Mother's Milk to this dreck.
Anthrax
1/5
By far the least of the Big 4 thrash metal bands. I was going to say the only good thing they ever did was get a riff sampled by Public Enemy, but that was Slayer.
Black Sabbath
4/5
This is a damn good album. I clearly haven't listened to enough of Sabbath's catalogue. Changes has got to be one of the most " I owe you an apology I wasn't really familiar with your game" tracks of all time.
Joy Division
5/5
Astonishingly brilliant. Ian Curtis was simply an enormous loss and Peter Hook did some simply incredible work on the bass here.
Meat Puppets
4/5
You probably know two tracks on this album from Nirvana's Unplugged (and they're both great here and there) but this is a really good album overall.
Jethro Tull
2/5
Who the fuck put flute in my rock and roll? Terrible idea. One song has a decent riff but I'll be damned if I'm going to go back and look up which one.
Frank Sinatra
3/5
I dunno, I used to like some Sinatra but I don't think this is the Sinatra I used to like. Harmless, though.
The Kinks
5/5
This album is so damn good I almost willingly listened to the extra 45 tracks on the Super Mega Deluxe Edition. Damn shame the Davies brothers were the proto-Gallaghers and got themselves banned from playing in the US. By far the most under-rated British invasion-type band.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
3/5
I guess this is his "no bangers" album? It's alright but far from his best work and a weird choice for inclusion in this book. TIL the movie "Napoleon Dynamite" is named after the painting on the cover here.