Eliminator

Music in the 80’s didn’t suck, but this album is very convincing evidence to the contrary.

ehhh not my favorite....not a fan of the vocals but the instrumentals were good!

Skip forward to the one-minute mark and watch the drummer. That's all there is to say about ZZ Top. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DVbt5W-DNc

Boringggg!! I just don’t like this 80s rock. Legs was good, but every song sounds the same!

Boring boomer rock, no thanks. 2/10 Favourite track: N/A

Nein

21/1089 уже заебал этот одинаковый рипящий рок идите на хуй

долго скучно однотипно

Well. I could never have imagined I would find myself on a rainy Monday morning in 2025, listening to an album by ZZ Top on the premise it's essential I do so before anything terrible happens to me. The plodding, sludgy music aside, the lyrics are mostly horrendous and really do not belong on the 21st century. They're of their time, and fair enough, I just don't think they need to be trumpeted today. I honestly believe you could live a long and happy life without ever encountering this record. It should probably be returned to the 80s and buried in concrete.

I’m not a Texas Blues fan, and certainly not this commercialized, antiseptic version of it. The last song with different production could be a Motörhead song, but that’s not enough to get this album out of the basement.

Before this album, I would have said "yeah, ZZ Top is okay, I like a few of their songs." I mean, La Grange and Jesus Just Left Chicago aren't particularly original, but they're great songs. This album changed everything. Its mix of synthetic dance-club drum tracks and weird Richard Marx-esque vocals and general pop aspirations was awful, but also was monstrously successful, meaning that I heard it (and saw the terrible videos) constantly. On top of everything else, I think they are the worst lyricists in pop music: "She might get out a nightstick, and beat me real real bad...by the roadside." "Gimme all your lovin'...all your hugs and kisses too." "I'm needing someone like you, that I just wanna do love to." TV Dinners almost seems profound among this dreck. They should have gone back to being fake Zombies.

1/5 - I thought this music and their videos were cool when I was 9. I grew out of that by the time I was 11. Eliminator is the definition of lame. TV Dinners is the worst song I’ve heard on this list, and that’s an accomplishment.

I really dont think my life has been enhanced by listening to this, and bearing in mind that I have been awarding 2 stars to albums that have at least held my interest for at least a few songs, this album gets the award for the first one to get a single star. I liked Gimme All Your Lovin', it reminded me of parties in my teens. But the rest of the songs were either uninteresting or just poor, the guitar playing was bland and the lyrics were laughable (apparently, she has legs right down to her fanny!!) A waste of my time.

Wat. Never really listened to them. Sound like an ersatz Queen that drank a few too many whiskies playing in a shit bar in Tucson

This is… So bad. The singles are terrible, the album cuts are worse. Thug is an awful song, holy. But they have matching beards!

Not my thing

Van Halen with the pyrotechnics taken out. Tidy riffs with no eruption. Conservative sexual postures without DLR's excessive posturing: men dress well; women show off their legs. Diamond Dave just shows off, full stop. Even when these Biblical patriarch are demanding love, they ask for hugs like a trio of fuddy-duddies. 1.5 Dire. It’s difficult to pick a low point but it was probably the line ‘someone like you, I just want to do love to’ in I Need You Tonight. The high point was when I thought, for a minute, that TV Dinners was about eating TV Dinners. I can’t remember why I made that mistake. 1/5

Y’know that one buzz lightyear meme where they’re all on the shelf as identical copies of eachother? That’s every blues band, and this album and band are no exception. If you like blues noodling with the most generic “I’m a man you’re a woman let’s have sex”-type lyricism then maybe this album is for you but otherwise just avoid this schlock. The last 5 songs in particular suck particularly hard, I guess the hits are passable. 1/5

A masterclass in how to create a piece of art that holds no appeal for me.

This is so fucking corny it's unbelievable, sounds like it was dreamed up in a C-suite office and stinks of trying to target light beer enthusiasts

so basically we went from your generic reggae album to the epitome of what a “dad-rock” album sounds like i mean it was fine, i listened to it from front to end, but nothing was really interesting. no songs added, no relistens planned meh

Really, those videos?

Meh

Я походу хейтер ZZ Top. Супер одноманітно до нудоти

Ugh, absolute crap. Corny, derivative, boring.

Turgid and unimaginative rock.

0.9/bro this was just annoying

Really mediocre hard rock for conservative dads who beat their wives 5/10 Favourite: Sharp Dressed Man Least Favourite: Tv Dinners

80s dad rock. I have friends that enjoy this (born late 80's/early 90s). I never have and probably never will. 4 songs in and I'm bored already. At least Throbbing Gristle kept my attention. Usually pretty good at separating the artist from the art but they didn't credit Linden Hudson on a bunch of stuff and they stole a full song which was proven in court so that directly impacts the art. Due to lack of personal enjoyment and the lack of credit given on song writing this was going to get a 1.5...then TV Dinners came on. Jesus wept. 1/5.

Tired af

Running boogie music through MIDI quantization is how to sterilize it. Ludicrously dated.

1Star A lot of 80’s hit. Not my cup of tea.

Samey, guitar rawk with drum machines. Dodgy, sub-metal lyrics. Piffle.

Holy shit this was trash

45 minutes of car-advert riffs.

Is this what Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers would sound like without the janglepop influence? Just riffy southern rock swamp sludge? To be certain, this album does not hold up and does not belong on this list. Super one note. And yet, I hesitate to give it one star, because I don’t hate it. It’s fun and carefree and rocks steadily. Every song sounds the same, sure, but it’s a decent song. Maybe it’s the once teenage guitar student in me that thinks this would be a fun album to sit next to and learn to play, and it would be. But that and movie trailers is about all it’s good for.

Good product, crappy music, lame lyrics. ZZ Top went from being outlaws to pop product with this album, and while it made them a bunch of money, it's only notable for being a prime example of that 80's pop rock sound. See also "Pump" by Aerosmith, anything by Motley Crue, Poison, etc. Absolute schlock rock.

Sometimes a bit cringe but otherwise great

it sucks and is gay

This is not for me.

I don’t like this album, it reminds me of the show American pickers. 2/10 Best track - tv dinners

Never was a fan. Still not.

I like Thug a lot but I’m biased from growing up with it playing on the radio in GTA4. Wonderfully atmospheric track. Other than that, this is a very poor attempt at combining an old genre with new technology. I knew about the hits but never liked them, probably because my introduction to ZZ Top was La Grange which is one of the greatest blues rock songs of all time. I honestly don’t understand how this album and its singles became such massive hits, but the 80s was a weird time that i didn’t experience, so it probably made sense back then. Then i read that half the album was written by a sound-engineer Linden Hudson, who got no credit whatsoever. That settled the verdict for me: Ass album (with the exception of Thug which was also co written by the aforementioned Linden Hudson)

was i supposed to get high before listening to this or something? i wasn't around in 1983 but it blows my mind that this album was their biggest commercial success. it's like they threw everything at the wall trying to force a single and nothing stuck so they shoveled it all together and called it a record. it's a shameless beg for the three minute radio and television slots it managed to end up with. it's boring, generic jock rock without a single memorable moment on the entire album except for how phoned in the whole thing is. overused fadeout endings with no segues. slow, clunky, 3-note solos. awful drum machine action for no clear reason. lazy, cringey lyrics that boil down to "i love testosterone! why don't women want me?" if you put "classic rock" into a generative AI the random bullshit it came up with would have more heart than this garbage. i don't even have a joke or a bit for this one, it was just an unpleasant listen through and through. 1/5 best experienced via guitar hero on easy and nowhere else

For three days now every time I would try to listen to this album I'd get about 2 minutes into a song and just switch to youtube. 1/5 This came out a year after Pyromania, people had an idea of how Hair Metal worked by now how is this album this boring.

Some of the most embarrassing, cringey, Crap Rick and roll ever made. Their whole value proposition is they have beards. Total bollocks

Oh god. Mijn ongemak bij ZZ Top is altijd erg groot. Het heeft iets primitief, zo simpel. En het is zo'n act die alleen Amerikanen serieus kunnen brengen. Want hoe dom zien die twee gasten eruit, dat is pure comedy, maar ze nemen dit zelf bloedserieus. En dan vervolgens een zoet popnummer als Gimme All Your Lovin' je plaat mee beginnen. Oké, puur op de muziek beoordelend is 1 ster misschien erg hard. Maar daar hebben ze het zelf naar gemaakt... 4/10 Highlights -

Soulless blues boogie rock

crap

If I died yesterday, would my life have been different if I heard this album? No, because I've already listened to the singles, the only good songs on here, and so have you. From what I can tell this was also the last time ZZ Top was good, and it stops about halfway through here. Of course, who can speak ill of Gimme All Your Lovin' or Sharp Dressed Man, and there's solid groovy guitar work throughout, but neither of the two genres they're mashing here have aged particularly well, especially churned together for pop consumption. Legs is the perfect sequel song to Tush, I wonder if they ever made a third song called Boobs.

I do not like this. Surely Dad Rock can do better than this?

2 good songs 1 star

I would be happy to never listen to this album or any of these songs ever again. Empty calories and it doesn't even taste good

Is it called "Eliminator" because it makes you want to eliminate yourself? Anyway, even though the songs might have seemed interesting at first, they lost me soon after. Each song seemed similar to the other. It could have been a shorter album or even an EP.

These guys deserve more credit than they get but it's their own fault because of albums like this. I would vote for Eliminating this from their catalog. I am more of a Tres Hombres-Deguello type fan, when they would sing about how Jesus just left Chicago on his way to New Orleans, where on this album the timeless winking roadhouse weirdo vibe is replaced with more of a lecherous redneck with money feel that hasn't aged well. But somewhere in the difference between La Grange and Legs you can hear the difference between 70s and 80s culture.

Another album in the creative nadir of 80s blues-based classic rock saved only by some raunchy guitar tones, the high driving tempos with a bit of groove, and that they aren't taking themselves too seriously. It's extremely stupid music but hey they're having fun with it.

Meh….sounded the same as Tres Hombres. Wasn’t any song that stood out to me.

Album Review: The Monstrosity That is Eliminator by ZZ Top Title: Eliminator Artist: ZZ Top (a trio of sound butchers) Release Date: 1983 (yet it feels like it’s been torturing eardrums for centuries) Introduction: The Downfall of Humanity, in Audio Form If you’ve ever wanted to experience what it's like to be assaulted by a dumpster fire of guitar riffs, awkward beards, and synth-heavy garbage, then Eliminator by ZZ Top is here to grant your most masochistic wishes. With hits like "Sharp Dressed Man" and "Legs," this album is a sonic equivalent of a used car salesman trying to sell you a rusty lemon—except the lemon also comes with soul-crushing regret and disappointment. ZZ Top somehow found a way to make blues, rock, and 80s synth sound like they were thrown into a blender set to “destroy.” I’m not saying the creators of this album are subhuman garbage, but I will say that after listening to Eliminator, I’m convinced they belong to a species that finds pleasure in other people's suffering. Track-by-Track Breakdown (With Calculations!) Track 1: Gimme All Your Lovin’ Gimme all your lovin’? More like, “Please, take it back!” With a tempo calculated at a painfully repetitive 120 beats per minute, this song drones on for 4 minutes and 3 seconds—though I’m convinced time warps around this track, making it feel twice as long. Based on listener reports, this song results in an average IQ loss of 2.3 points per minute. That’s a total cognitive decline of approximately 9.5 points by the end of this track. Track 2: Sharp Dressed Man A song that’s somehow both monotonous and garish, Sharp Dressed Man is ZZ Top’s attempt at a catchy anthem, but instead, it sounds like a drunken karaoke version of a track that didn’t deserve to be created in the first place. Lyrically, it’s the equivalent of a half-baked infomercial, selling “cool” with a side of existential dread. Running statistical analysis, 86% of listeners reported feeling a strange combination of secondhand embarrassment and the sudden urge to buy ill-fitting suits. Graph 1: Listener Satisfaction vs. Despair Using advanced listener feedback, I’ve plotted how one’s emotions evolve over time while experiencing Eliminator: Track Number Satisfaction (%) Despair (%) 1 (Gimme All Your Lovin’) 30 70 2 (Sharp Dressed Man) 15 85 3 (Legs) 10 90 4 (Thug) 5 95 10 (Bad Girl) 0 100 Interpretation: By track 4, despair has surpassed satisfaction, leaving the listener in a state of hopelessness. If you make it to track 10 (Bad Girl), congratulations—you are now a shell of your former self. Track 5: Legs The synth-heavy abomination that is Legs sounds like it was created by someone who not only hates music but also actively despises their own legs. It loops endlessly like an AI-generated song from a dystopian future where all good music is banned. The chorus, repeating "She’s got legs," delivers absolutely no insight into human anatomy or why this is even a topic of interest. Conclusion: A Weapon of Mass Auditory Destruction ZZ Top’s Eliminator is not just bad; it’s a test of endurance. Surviving the album is akin to completing a marathon made entirely of ear-bleeding guitar solos, synth explosions, and uninspired lyrics. If you’re looking for something to play in the background while interrogating someone, this might be perfect. For anyone else with a soul and functioning eardrums, consider this a public service announcement: Eliminator is best left eliminated. Final Rating: 0.5/10 Because even subhuman garbage deserves a rating.

"I Got the Six" was a dastardly ahh track :skull: "I like the enchiladas, and the teriaki too" Bland and unremarkable record (addendum: often it's actively bad). Their specific style of blues+rock is not it bro. Had to start skipping tracks for my sanity. The only redeeming factor was that they had some interesting riffs Fucking garbage lmao, never want to hear another ZZ Top song. Very fitting that the wheel of fortune stand user is named "ZZ" after this band because both suck ass. Can't wait for ben to give this a high score for no reason

Ugh it’s not bad I guess but it’s so boring The drumming is so mechanical/ drum machine parts are so basic. I kinda hated it

Good for a concert in the park on a Friday night in some random suburb, but not for this list

Oh, really!? Listened to it awful, never to be repeated.

Album makes me think Kid Rock found this really inspirational.

Sucks - very much not my thing. Can't believe someone found a lost nametag at kink event and decided to name a band after it Best Track: Thug Worst Track: Sharp Dressed Man

Truly awful

Boring

I feel like this challenge, by opening me to so many artists and genres, completely ruined hard rock for me. I can't listen to it anymore, it all sounds so bland now. There's nothing that stands out on this album for me. I listened to it once and I really don't want to go back and give it another chance. I can't imagine ever wanting to put this on again and the album is not groundbreaking or otherwise important for the overall music history, which all together makes it a 1/5.

Crappy, unoriginal, mind numbing stadium rock

From the very beginning of the album I don’t want to listen further, it’s boring. 1/5

Hate! Fave track: None

After the first few songs, I thought I might not hate the album as much as I expected to, but it got worse. I technically didn't hate it. I knew the popular songs already and they are fine. I thought a lot of the instrumentals sounded cool, but many of the lyrics were just not good at all. I guess I'm just not a big fan of ZZ Top. 3.5/10

Give me strength to avoid such nonsense

still nope

Uninteresting and boring.

i'm not the biggest fan of this type of rock. i have never willfully put on a zz top song, much less an album. some great tones, they can really rip on the guitar. talented, just not my thing. legs actually has some really cool sounds that i never truly listened to. they do have a line about a woman not letting him touch her down there so he's gonna go "spank my monkey" so, i dunno

Det er 44 minutter af mit liv jeg aldrig får tilbage

Rock music for dads with mullets who smoke so many Marborlos they're decked out in Marb gear.

SNORE. couldn't finish

Nicht meins, kann die Klasse nicht erkennen.

A terrible transition from their 70's sound.

Little-known fact: they’re called ZZ Top because they put you the fuck to sleep!!! I was going to give them a pity star out of respect for Sharp Dressed Man, but then I heard TV Dinners and I had to take it away again.

This is like American AC/DC. Pure jock rock. This is the same song over and over again. This is probably the worst thing I've subjected my ears to in a long time. And yes, I am familiar with all of the singles here. They're terrible. It's some cringeworthy guy claiming to be the Best At Sex. Who needs this? Oh there's a song that's about TV dinners. No deep insight. Just... TV dinners as a thing he likes.

Car commercial music. It even has a car on the cover.

Before this, I had never consciously been aware of listening to any ZZ Top song. This is the epitome of generic rock music. It sounds like AI created content.

only listened to the first song halfway, kinda got bored

It's funny how listening to this right after listening to a Rolling Stones album really highlights, for me anyway, how superior the Stones are to a band like ZZ Top. According to critics (some anyway), this album was the height of ZZ Top's signature style. But it's so much less interesting than the music of the Stones. The Stones blend all kinds of sounds seamlessly--rhythm guitar, lead guitar, slide guitar, piano, sometimes electric organ, bass, and drums (sometimes two drummers)--in a way that makes the sounds blend together to produce a rich, textured sound. ZZ Top, by contrast, is pretty much just a drummer who doesn't vary much from a particular rhythm, a bass player who plays pretty predictable lines that vary little within a song or from song to song (often just one note), and guitar riffs that mostly all sound the same, with some occasional breaks for some lead guitar. Pretty disappointing overall.

I have fond memories of the Legs video but really ZZ Top is not my thing. I find the music to be pretty boring and the lyrics dull. I don’t need to hear more songs about drunk guys and loose women. One good thing - they ar e a pretty tight band.

I am actively not a fan. They’ve got one sound, and there’s no substance to it for me.

The only song with any redeeming lyrics was TV Dinners. Awesome guitar solos but that did not make up for the lyrics.

If you took the worst bits of country, blues and stadium rock, and gave them to the 4th best high school band in your local area to turn into an album they wanted their enemies to listen to, this is what you would get. At times it seems like you've listened to the same single bar of music on repeat for an hour. And it is the most simple mundane bar you've ever listened to. This album has absolutely no redeeming qualities. It is utterly awful. It must be the worst album of all time.

Never got into ZZ Top. Not really feelin this either

Sooo boring every song is uninspired and repetitive

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The fact that the band members are cousins of Hank Hill is the most interesting part of this album (and the rest of their discography)

Grab me a cold one and let's get it!!

Honestly haven't given ZZ Top much though but this is better than I gave them credit for. Still not really my thing but I appreciate the experimentation with synth and the tight drumming and great guitarwork.

I just can't hear this any more.

Pure commercialized schlock - all the genuinely great instrumental performances this band can put out are nothing when sterilized by a layer of sterile production and clear label interference

Not my cup of tea

Mmmnaah

This has not aged well.

Det är inte bra bara. som rock fast sämre.

First time listening: 3/11 songs liked I kind of assumed like their first album, they'd be a little more bluesy? Their hard rock is EXTREMELY mundane and repetitive. I'm sure there's a time and place for it somewhere in the heart of texas, but not for me sir. 1 songs saved

shit

noooooo!!!!!!

Pretty much the same tacky bogan music I expected before listening to this album. It’s so dated...and not in a good way. 1 Star!

It was too rocky. Not my vibe anymore.

all of their songs sound too much the same to me

Rock uit de jaren 80. Paar gouwe ouwe nummers op het album. Recht-toe-recht-aan. Liedjes klinken allemaal een beetje hetzelfde, zelfde gitaar, zelfde solo's, zelfde bas, zelfde drum. Pak 3 nummers van het album en je hebt het album gehoord.

Boring. Couldn’t finish

classic rock :vomit:

The only real standout tracks were their most recognizable songs on the album, Gimme All Your Lovin' and Sharp Dressed Man. The rest of the tracks felt lackluster, uncatchy and all sort of blended into one another to the point that I couldn't decipher them from one another if I took my mind off of the title for more than a couple of seconds.

As if this album has any song worthy of even being called a ZZ Top song Garbage.

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Awesone

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