317
Albums Rated
3.29
Average Rating
29%
Complete
772 albums remaining
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1960s
Favorite Decade
Funk
Favorite Genre
UK
Top Origin
Wordsmith
Rater Style ?
73
5-Star Albums
33
1-Star Albums
Taste Analysis
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Ratings by genre
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Ratings by country
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You Love More Than Most
Albums you rated higher than global average
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| Yeezus | 5 | 2.77 | +2.23 |
| What's That Noise? | 5 | 2.78 | +2.22 |
| Arc Of A Diver | 5 | 2.88 | +2.12 |
| The Only Ones | 5 | 2.92 | +2.08 |
| Psychocandy | 5 | 2.94 | +2.06 |
| Tuesday Night Music Club | 5 | 3.05 | +1.95 |
| Too Rye Ay | 5 | 3.12 | +1.88 |
| Bizarre Ride II The Pharcyde | 5 | 3.13 | +1.87 |
| Dust | 5 | 3.16 | +1.84 |
| Sweet Baby James | 5 | 3.24 | +1.76 |
You Love Less Than Most
Albums you rated lower than global average
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| At Folsom Prison | 1 | 3.99 | -2.99 |
| In Utero | 1 | 3.83 | -2.83 |
| At San Quentin | 1 | 3.8 | -2.8 |
| Bad | 1 | 3.8 | -2.8 |
| Off The Wall | 1 | 3.78 | -2.78 |
| American Idiot | 1 | 3.77 | -2.77 |
| Van Halen | 1 | 3.63 | -2.63 |
| Licensed To Ill | 1 | 3.56 | -2.56 |
| Gorillaz | 1 | 3.53 | -2.53 |
| Guero | 1 | 3.46 | -2.46 |
Artist Analysis
Favorite Artists
Artists with 2+ albums
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Led Zeppelin | 4 | 5 |
| Steely Dan | 3 | 4.67 |
| Simon & Garfunkel | 2 | 5 |
| Jimi Hendrix | 2 | 5 |
| The Rolling Stones | 2 | 5 |
| OutKast | 2 | 5 |
| Curtis Mayfield | 2 | 5 |
| The Kinks | 2 | 5 |
| The Band | 2 | 5 |
| Kanye West | 2 | 5 |
| The Beach Boys | 3 | 4.33 |
Least Favorite Artists
Artists with 2+ albums
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Sonic Youth | 3 | 1.33 |
| Johnny Cash | 2 | 1 |
| k.d. lang | 2 | 1 |
| Michael Jackson | 2 | 1 |
| Metallica | 2 | 1.5 |
| R.E.M. | 3 | 2 |
Controversial Artists
Artists you rate inconsistently
| Artist | Ratings |
|---|---|
| Nirvana | 1, 5 |
| Bob Dylan | 1, 5 |
| Nick Drake | 5, 2 |
| The Velvet Underground | 2, 5 |
| Pixies | 2, 5 |
5-Star Albums (73)
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Popular Reviews
James Taylor
5/5
When JT started singing about being a steamroller in the sweetest, most polite college boy tones, I thought ‘there’s no way he can pull this song off’ - but then he started absolutely ripping the blues guitar, as nasty as anyone can play it, and halfway through I was fully convinced he is not only a steamroller steamrolling chicks on the reg but also a cement mixer chunking and funking, or whatever - but doing it all in the style of a friendly neighborhood pharmacist, making it even more badass. The son of an MGH doctor, he’s an inspiration to us suburb white boys all over - we can rock too! This an old man take, but listening to this album makes me kinda mourn how little premium is placed on raw musical talent with today’s music. JT is an absolutely filthy guitar player with a beautiful voice who could not only rock your dick off but also write a song that will move you to tears. He is an American treasure. This music is perfect for Saturday/ Sunday mornings with the family.
Only negative is that as I was playing this album in the kitchen snd having these grand thoughts of JT steamrolling through Martha’s Vineyard or wherever he hangs out, my wife said ‘wow you’re really turning into your dad’ and I had no counter at all.
6 likes
Jimi Hendrix
5/5
I think the music you hear when you are 12-14 has an outsized impact on not just your taste but the kind of person you’re gonna turn into. I first got into Jimi Hendrix at 12 (at Sean’s house) and Are you experienced is probably the album that made me quit all the sports teams I was on, grow my hair long, start smoking wind tea (teabags soaked in windex, pretty epic high/ intense nausea) and locking myself in the basement to play guitar and write songs about girls I thought were hot but was too afraid to talk to. Never really course corrected, unfortunately. Gonna make sure my son just listens to pointless AI slop so he thinks music sucks and does his math homework.
I have no recollection of doing the foxy ears mime during Lesbian Makeout Party’s debut at the 8th grade talent show in 2001, tho I remember Sean being pissed. I can’t be held responsible for my actions - I was not Frank that day, my mind went blank, I was but a mere vessel through which Jimi’s immortal spirit flowed.
Anyway Jimi is creativity incarnate and without question the most influential electric guitarist of all time. I don’t think his songwriting gets enough credit either for its uniqueness. I actually like Axis Bold as Love better as an album but this one is almost as good.
6 likes
Jacques Brel
4/5
I’m a little French, a little pretentious, a little gay. So this was right up my alley.
5 likes
Buffalo Springfield
4/5
Having trouble moving on from prince. Everything else feels stale. Any other week this is probably a 5 from me. But just can’t hit the highs the same way after rocking all weekend. Giving this a 4 because I think that is probably what pre-purple rain Frank would give it. But I’m just guessing. I’m a totally different man.
2 likes
Beastie Boys
1/5
I’ve learned through this exercise that that there is an art to sampling. When done right it can create a whole new art form, enhancing not just the new song but recontextualizing and updating the old. When I heard the ‘ocean’ riff in ‘she’s crafty’ I felt like I’d just seen a retarded 8 year old draw a dick on the Mona Lisa. And then the crowd all clapped and said congratulations, good job buddy. This is pablum. This is the decline of western civilization. This is music for pedophiles in disguise as 40 year old sneakerheads. I know I’m prone to hyperbole but this album is the most inane, infantile bullshit I’ve ever heard in my entire fucking life.
2 likes
1-Star Albums (33)
All Ratings
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
5/5
I can’t believe how many classics are on this album. The addition of Neil young gave CSN the edge they needed (for my taste). Just When they are at their most hippie (teach your children) they follow it up w a soulful rocker like almost cut my hair. Woodstock and helpless are my favorites, but this has more classics per album than almost any other american album of this genre
MGMT
4/5
I thought mgmt was gonna be the biggest band in the world after this album. Huge at college parties in 2010 ish. There are three great songs and some other decent ones, a few misses. After this it seems like they turned their noses up at what made them famous (catchy dance songs) and tried to become something more alternative/psychedelic, losing some of their charm.
Stevie Wonder
5/5
The Replacements
4/5
Had a bit of a replacements phase in college so fun to return to them. Many gems on here (unsatisfied, androgynous, answering machine, Gary’s got a boner) but a few too many songs that seem included just to prove their punk bonafides and don’t add to the whole. The rare band that is better when they deviate from their genre than when they try to exemplify it. Underrated in American music history for their impact on college / alternative radio.
Frank Sinatra
4/5
Never particularly liked this kind of music , but it has aged better than a lot of stuff that came after.
Jethro Tull
3/5
I thought I hated jethro till but it’s really just the song ‘aqualung’ that sucks. Hymn 43 rocks and I was surprised that I liked some of the other deep cuts. They remind me of an English folkloric version of Rush. Very technically skilled and musically eclectic but also kind of soulless and overly cerebral, with dumb/ pretentious lyrics.
Peter Tosh
2/5
Most songs sound exactly the same. Ok to listen to in the background but not a lot going on
Nick Drake
5/5
Probably more of a 4 but he died young so I’ll give it to him. Really nice sound and unique songs. Loved Hazey Jane 2 and one of these things first. Would be a true 5 if I liked his voice a little more. Would love to hear someone cover these songs.
The Cardigans
5/5
Loved this. Instant 5 for me. Upbeat and catchy but also different. Lovefool is one of the best songs of the 90s but the whole album rips. Been it and your new cuckoo are great. Feel like an early progenitor of the theatrical art girl rock style mitski has gotten famous for
Nirvana
1/5
Maybe you have to be a teenager to like this. I found the whole album, outside of all apologies, which is a good song, to be a depressing slog. For the most part Kurt just seems to want us to know that he’s having a really bad time, not enjoying himself at all. Point taken.
Soundgarden
4/5
Liked this more than I expected to. I’m a sucker for weird time signatures like the 7/4 in Spoonman and whatever is going on in Fell On Black Days. Especially in grunge, which otherwise can be dreary and monotonous. Cornell’s voice grates on me after awhile. The day I tried to live is another highlight.
Alice In Chains
4/5
Hell yeah. HE AIN'T GONNA DIE.
B.B. King
3/5
I don’t love listening to a whole album of essentially the same song. But it sounds like it was a lot of fun to be there.
Ray Price
2/5
Not really for me. Just don’t like country
Funkadelic
5/5
The first true classic we’ve gotten. As fresh and original today as when it came out. Listening to this makes you feel like you’re losing your mind a little, but in the best way. Huge influence on so many musicians from all types of genres, from hip hop to Prince to (one of my favorite bands) Ween, who’s ‘a tear for Eddie’ I just realized is a tribute to Eddie Hazel.
Elliott Smith
3/5
What were all these guys in the 90s so depressed about? Get a grip dudes. Elliot smith is obviously really talented and writes some beautiful melodies that he ruins by being a whiny little bitch.
Even with that criticism there are still some good songs on here. It just could have been so much better
Duran Duran
2/5
Didn’t hate it but not really for me. Hasn’t aged that well other than hungry like the wolf.
Beach House
2/5
There’s a fine line between relaxing and boring. This is right on the edge. I am both unmoved and unbothered by this album. Reminds me of the shins but less catchy. Where’s the beef?
The Good, The Bad & The Queen
3/5
Elvis Presley
5/5
I never knew I loved Elvis. This sound has not aged much at all. Catchy and soulful, rocks harder than modern music by far. I love the combo of the acoustic guitar, powerful voice, with occasional horns and female backing vocals. Also, I know he didn’t write the songs, but I love this style of story songwriting that seems not done any more.
The Smashing Pumpkins
3/5
It’d be nearly impossible to make an album this long that didn’t feel bloated. There are great songs on here but a lot of dross, and all that heaviness and melancholy starts to suffocate. If they’d cut out 15 songs this could have been a 5. Everyone needs an editor.
Green Day
1/5
Fuck this album
Led Zeppelin
5/5
Listening to Bonham play drums enhances and elevates the experience of being alive. My musical taste has not changed since I was 13 years old. Both these discs fuck so fucking hard.
The Teardrop Explodes
2/5
This sounds like part of a whole subgenre within UK new wave music I just can’t connect with. Like moody, surly dance music? Im never in a moody dance mood. The smiths, joy division come to mind. Sounds like an early progenitor of schlock like Panic at the disco. these songs have no melodies and no choruses and so seem kind of flat and featureless after a while. I’ll give it an extra point for good rhythm and a hint of the avant- garde, even if it doesn’t work for me.
Lynyrd Skynyrd
5/5
I’m a simple man
David Bowie
2/5
This was fine. Bowie might be my all time favorite artist, but have to honest, if these songs weren’t by him I don’t think any of them would pique my interest. It’s impressive to still make music 25 albums in, but nothing on here was more than fine.
George Michael
3/5
Freedom 90 makes announcing to the world that you’re gay sound like a real blast. That’s a hard act to follow and the rest of the album doesn’t seem to really try. As a piece of art, the album itself is almost hindered by how infectious and upbeat freedom 90 is, because the listener can’t help but wonder where this energy is for the remaining fairly sedate 9 songs. Still, 3 stars for one of the best pop songs of the decade.
Talk Talk
1/5
This sucks. Overwrought vocal style and overproduced sound. The songs all feel stiff and cerebral to me. Hard to engage with.
Fugees
2/5
The only two songs I really like on here are covers. The rest I find kind of boring and repetitive, tho I’m sure the lyrics mean more to some people than they do to me. It might be a character defect in me that makes me not really like intelligent rap. Wish wyclef Jean hadn’t defrauded haiti to such an unfashionable extent. Not cool man.
Metallica
1/5
I hate Metallica and I hate the whole concept of symphony cross-overs so I’m not listening to this and giving it one star
The White Stripes
5/5
The last gasp of American three chord garage rock. Went down kicking and screaming.
Sonic Youth
2/5
This doesn’t rock. I understand how this kind of dissonant, naturalistic noise rock could have felt fresh and exciting as a reaction to overly manufactured, artificial 80s pop - but that only works for me on an intellectual level. When I actually listen to these songs, I just feel bored and faintly irritated. I need the songs to work as pieces unto themselves, not as a reaction to external influences, which are forgotten over time.
Bruce Springsteen
3/5
Have to be in the exact right mood to listen to this, and listening while on the elliptical was definitely not it. Still, I don’t love the combo of spare instrumentation and heavily reverbed vocals. Feels like a clash of aesthetics. Atlantic City is obviously a classic but nothing else really moved the needle for me.
The Jam
4/5
Probably more of a 3.5 but I’ll round up. Had never even heard of them before this. This is the rare album that I like more in its entirety than I do at the individual song level. Pretty cool sound and I’m a sucker for high energy, fun loving rock. Highlights for me are English Rose and down in the tube at midnight, but a lot of the other songs are pleasant but unmemorable. Reminds me of one my favorite albums ever, my aim is true by Elvis Costello. Though not at the same level musically or lyrically, has the same snarl to it.
Fela Kuti
4/5
3 stars for the album, 1 for being a literal revolutionary (read his bio). I like Fela’s unique but accessible sound (mostly zombie) but am really excited to read Sean’s review. He is the biggest kuti guy I know
Thin Lizzy
5/5
Sitting in my kitchen doing bullshit work on my laptop while listening and this makes me want to throw the computer out the window, quit my job, drive my car through my neighbors house, get out and seduce his wife.
This is the opposite of Sonic Youth. Fuck yeah.
Snoop Dogg
4/5
Raw charisma.
Koffi Olomide
4/5
I liked this a lot. Upbeat and fun. Don’t know much about this kind of music so it’s tough to be too discerning, but I’ll return to some of these songs, especially the first two.
A Tribe Called Quest
3/5
The samples are cool and they have a nice laid back vibe. Can I kick it is great, but throughout they album there are dumb lines like ‘wipe your feet really good on the rhythm rug’ so I can’t go higher than 3
Leonard Cohen
3/5
I like the vibe here and the poetry is haunting and moving at the same time. It’s a lot of the same tone and sentiment and no songs really stand out to me. The songs are obviously very limited by the voice. Not 80 year old Leonard’s fault but it does cap the album at a 3 for me.
Al Green
3/5
I also expected to like this more. Most of it was pleasant but not that memorable. Let’s stay together is obviously a classic but the rest was just ok. Maybe I would have felt differently if I hadn’t read his bio first and learned about all the times he kicked the shit out of his wife.
Korn
3/5
I find this album musically somewhat interesting and at times even innovative, but lyrically, aesthetically and maybe even spiritually embarassing. The songs are exuberant and misguided in equal measure. Still, I do appreciate how they ‘go for it’ on almost every song, even if what they are going for ends up being terrible. All in the family is probably the worst song I’ve ever heard, but freak on a leash rocks. The abject unholy awfulness of the former almost makes the latter feel like it must have happened by accident - or from another lens, by miracle? I dunno man. All I know is I respect an earnest, authentic disaster more than an aloof, pretentious one, which is to say I have to rate this higher than sonic youth. Fuck sonic youth.
Ananda Shankar
1/5
I didn’t need to hear this before I died. This is just sitar karaoke.
Peter Gabriel
4/5
This would be a five except there is maybe one too many songs that feel like filler. Peter gabriel’s voice is so emotive- plaintive, wry and powerful all at the same time. The opening trio of red rain, sledgehammer and don’t give up shows off his versatility as a songwriter, then the album meanders a bit, but he brings it home with in your eyes. There are dance songs and songs about not killing yourself that are equally catchy. And the sound is so unique - right in the border of intricately complex and overproduced. He doesn’t quite tip over to the latter side, which is why it all works.
Sufjan Stevens
2/5
Music to listen to when NPR goes to break. The grilled salmon of indie rock. Music to listen to while cleaning the kitchen with your wife.
there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this album. It feels healthy - like I’m making a mature, responsible decision by listening to it. I wish I was the kind of guy this appeals to. I think I’d be a better, more thoughtful person. I’d have gone to grad school. I would compost. Unfortunately, I liked the Korn album better.
Simon & Garfunkel
5/5
5 stars, obviously. Is Paul Simon the most accomplished American singer/ songwriter of all time? Who would it be between? Paul, Bob Dylan and Bruce Springsteen?
Brian Eno
1/5
I’d heard enough of this after like 3 songs. Then there were 14 more to go and they were all the same thing.
King Crimson
3/5
I liked this. Very proggy and over the top, so not my usual thing. But I liked it for what it was
Jungle Brothers
4/5
I loved this album. Had never heard of these guys before, which shows my limited rap knowledge. I’ve always thought the reliance on samples was one of hip hops biggest limitations. But after this album I feel like I finally get it - here, they aren’t just used to evoke nostalgia or lift an already proven hook, but more like unique instruments that combine to create something new. “Good news coming” really drove that point home to me. Elsewhere, I just like the way these guys sound and how their rhyming patterns play off and on the beat. It’s upbeat but not corny. I also love whenever anyone unironically refers to their ‘funky rhymes’ . Don’t know why, just gets me.
Common
2/5
I’m not too cool for many things. But I’m too cool for Common.
David Bowie
5/5
One of the great weirdo masterpieces. Normally a white dude playing funk would come off inauthentic or kitschy, but w/ Bowie the artificiality is part of the appeal, and he embraces it so hard that it somehow loops back around to feel authentic again. That plus every single song is a jam in its own right.
I fucking love David Bowie.
Einstürzende Neubauten
2/5
Great music for a haunted house. Was gonna give 1 star (obviously) but then I saw a video of the crowds going nuts for this vaguely evil nonsense noise and I have to give them another star for the impressiveness of the con.
Sarah Vaughan
2/5
I wonder if the reason this album struck me as so bland, toothless and mediocre is that it came immediately after that Kollaps album. At the time, I hated that album. But two days later I can’t stop thinking about it. Now all I want to hear is scary machine noise that makes me question my entire conception of what music is, what art means, what life could be. I’m like a cannibal who has tasted human blood and can now only be sated by the most forbidden meats. 2 stars for Sarah vaughan’s safe, acceptable jazz. 2 stars for my safe, acceptable existence. Somewhere, far off in the distance, the sound of a mechanical drill whirs. It calls to me. I’m coming home.
Jimi Hendrix
5/5
The first time I heard Hendrix, at maybe 12, I knew I wanted to become an artist of some sort. A mixed blessing in many ways but wouldn’t trade that for anything. Now back to writing my erotic novel in progress.
Dr. Dre
4/5
So menacing. Makes you want to be 18 again.
Meat Puppets
3/5
I liked the weirdo-texan punk vibe on this and especially enjoyed the syncopated grooves on the instrumental songs. They have a unique and original sound. Unfortunately the vocals are borderline intolerable to me, so I can't really go any higher than 3.
Neneh Cherry
1/5
Only got through a few songs. This sucks. Feels like a mishmash of random beats and samples thrown around poppy choruses to cash in on ‘street culture’ despite this chick being from Sweden.
PJ Harvey
3/5
This album is nice but doesn’t grab me. In some places her voice and style feel a little more melancholy than these songs warrant. In other places her gloominess feels melodramatic. A lot of this is too downbeat / minor key for my taste in pop and makes the songs all kinda blur together. ‘Written on the forehead’ breaks this mold and so is a highlight for me
Steely Dan
5/5
In my teens and twenties I had a weird antipathy to Steely Dan - I think because of the polished, studio sound and subdued technical competence - they represented a 'maturity' I wasn't ready to embrace. 'Peg' is the song that changed all that to me - specifically the falsetto harmony 'peggggg' in the chorus and that moment when the saxophone line comes in the verse. Now I see that there is ebullience in their competence, an ecstasy to their mastery, and that something can feel both refined and raw at the same time if you've truly mastered your craft. I fucking love this album and listened to it probably 8 times back to back on Friday. Another thing that made me change my mind about them is that they named themselves after a dildo in Naked Lunch. Rock and roll.
The Smiths
4/5
Wasn’t sure how I felt on first listen. Had always thought the smiths, and morrisey specifically, were one of those bands I just didn’t get. But this album made me want to relisten a few times. Though only a few standouts (the disco one and happy birthday because you’re evil) to me - on the whole I have to say this sounds both unique and familiar, the lyrics are witty and fun, and there’s really a lot to like on the whole
George Jones
4/5
Liked this more than I expected. There’s a kind of aw shucks veneer to the style that, counterintuitively, both softens and enhances the subtle nastiness in his lyrics and persona. Occasionally, you can hear this coming out in the growl in his voice - and he sounds like a wild animal trying and failing to fit in with the rest of us upstanding citizens. It’s kinda rock and roll.
Marvin Gaye
2/5
For baby-making music, this felt like a lot of foreplay with no finish (IF YOU WILL). Don’t tease us Marvin. We want it.
Eagles
2/5
“I hate the fuckin’ eagles, man!’
I used to kind of like the eagles until I saw the big Lebowski. It had never occurred to me to hate them until I heard lebowski’s opinion. Since then, all I hear is brainless, soulless schlock where I used to hear anodyne but well-made pop rock. I guess I’m saying this is sort of an arbitrary reaction - but when I tried to give this album a fair shot, I couldn’t tune out the lebowski in my head, and so turned it off halfway through the truly execrable ‘chug all night’
Van Halen
3/5
There's something about Van Halen that has never connected with me. I think it's the clash between the technical virtuosity of the instrument playing and the sort of idiot-cock-rock mentality of the lyrics and persona (largely david lee roth's fault, I'm guessing). It sounds like wasted potential to me. Like the band, as a whole, was always settling for appeasing their fans of horny teenage boys and trying to get laid by groupies rather than committing to making great art. That's no great sin in most cases, but it seems sort of tragic to me in this specific case, because EVH clearly had real, no-doubt transcendent genius in him. While some of the great albums from the 50s and 60s we've heard still sound current today, and some albums we've heard from Africa or the deep south sound great no matter what culture the listener is part of, VH (to me) still sounds locked in to a very particular moment (the 80s in LA). I think that's what happens when you never push your own boundaries artistically.
LCD Soundsystem
4/5
This is honestly probably a five. Lots of great songs and he really defined a very specific New York sound that also has appeal outside that niche. He’s both catchy, danceable and innovative which is a rare combination. Also true: James Murphy has an extremely punchable face and reminds me very viscerally of all the smug hipsters I went to college with. I have no choice but to dock him one point for that, even though it’s completely unfair. New York I love you is a great song.
Sheryl Crow
5/5
My parents listened to this album at least once a weekend for like 5 years, so almost every song feels like a classic, tho it’s only because I personally have had way too much exposure to this album. I used to think it was kind of embarassing for my dad, who otherwise has cultivated an almost comically masculine persona, to be SO into Sheryl crow. But you know what? I get it. I love her too, Dad.
Dusty Springfield
4/5
The low edge in her voice gives these airy pop songs a languid quality. These songs are tight and catchy musically and chaste and innocent lyrically, yet her delivery makes them vaguely sultry. definitely a strong influence on Amy winehouse, both in persona and singing style.
Pink Floyd
3/5
A little melodramatic for me on the whole. Songs about being annoyed by the music industry that has made all your dreams come true (have a cigar) might be my least favorite artistic theme. wish you were here is an incredible song but as an album, wish you were here is is more morose than engaging. Guessing this will be an unpopular take.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
4/5
Theatrical but tight. Somehow both self-serious and fun. Dark but not somber. I thought this was a blast. Maybe didn't need to be a double album - but I really enjoyed most of these songs, and I especially respect the originality and distinctiveness of Cave's oddball perspective.
Johnny Cash
1/5
I find the prison concert thing to be kind of a cheap gimmick. Like, whooooaaaa dude, so badasssss, you were actually NEAR some REAL LIFE prisoners? No wayyyyy.
This album is just one hokey shuffle after another, with a false, unearned veneer of 'grit' siphoned from the prisoners in attendance for what ultimately amounts to marketing purposes.
The Rolling Stones
5/5
That part in gimme shelter where the background singers voice cracks while she’s screaming MURDER! Is one of my favorite moments in any rock song, and in a way encapsulates everything I love about the stones. Just having a blast out there, letting it all hang out. Also, Mick fucked that singer. Classic Stones.
Beastie Boys
1/5
I’ve learned through this exercise that that there is an art to sampling. When done right it can create a whole new art form, enhancing not just the new song but recontextualizing and updating the old. When I heard the ‘ocean’ riff in ‘she’s crafty’ I felt like I’d just seen a retarded 8 year old draw a dick on the Mona Lisa. And then the crowd all clapped and said congratulations, good job buddy. This is pablum. This is the decline of western civilization. This is music for pedophiles in disguise as 40 year old sneakerheads. I know I’m prone to hyperbole but this album is the most inane, infantile bullshit I’ve ever heard in my entire fucking life.
The Only Ones
5/5
Went in with no expectations (or context) but this album put me in a great mood. I think I’ve heard Another Girl Another Planet before but this was otherwise completely new to me. This album is really tight and fun, with a playful energy, though maybe lacking in real stand out hits. I am generally a fan of the sort of louche, jagger-esque singing style on display here, and I think it works here. I usually think punk is a little too artless for me, but these guys can really play. This feels like an early influence on definitely the replacements and maybe the strokes (a top ten band for me)?
Anyway this is probably a 4 but I feel a little guilty calling the beastie boys inane pedophile music yesterday so I’m gonna be more generous than usual.
Stevie Wonder
3/5
Agree with other's takes that, while I also love Stevie, I didn't find much outside of 'Boogie on Reggae Woman' that really landed with me on this album. I listened through a few times even, thinking it might have been user error on my part. But still, no dice. I appreciate the artistry of 'They Won't Go' but don't really like it, for whatever reason. Normally, if an album doesn't connect with me I'd give it a 2, but in this case I'm having trouble finding any good reason for my dislike, so I don't feel as confident in my take. For that reason I'm gonna round up to 3 because Stevie is a legend, but I acknowledge this is more or less an act of cowardice.
Fats Domino
3/5
Easy to like, hard to love. Good music to have on in the background while you prepare a Christmas ham. My two year son loved this and I think that’s probably the ideal audience for this kind of music.
Bob Dylan
1/5
The whole appeal of Bob Dylan is the interesting offbeat lyrics, the mysterious storytelling, the vaguely messianic character he made himself into. But w this album, it’s like he wasn’t even trying. Every song is just one tired cliche (eg ‘weeping clouds’ ‘i’d do anything for you) after another. That’d be fine if the music was good or distinctive or really just had a pulse. But this backing band is playing w all the creativity of christian radio act, and, when singing banal lyrics, then idiosyncratic nature of Dylan’s voice loses all its charm, and he sounds like a warbling amateur. This album is pure uninspired slop, ladled out w all the joie de vivre of a depressed lifer at the prison cafeteria. Four songs in I felt like I’d been poisoned, I had to find the antidote or my organs might just lose the will to keep pumping. The antidote, it turned out, was an album we heard a few months ago - Thin Lizzy’s “Live and Dangerous.” I think it is the spiritual opposite of this corpse of an album. I turned it up as loud as it would go and blasted myself clean.
Pere Ubu
3/5
I appreciate the avante-garde ambitions of the band and the uniqueness of the sound (in parts), but don't individually like any song enough to return to it. Some of what they do is cool and interesting, but occasionally they go off the rails in ways that somehow feel predictable, almost rote. Like if you were reading out the song structure, some parts would just read (insert dissonance here). Some of it reminds me a little of some the Velvet Underground's most annoying songs (Venus in Furs). Definitely hear some Animal Collective and TV on the Radio too, though that's mostly in the vocals. Song for song, this is probably a 2.5 (a 4 for the first half, then a 1 for the back half where it starts to really drag), but I'll round up because they did manage to create a unique sound that works in places.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
In some ways this exercise has greatly expanded my musical taste, but it’s also been great to re-confirm what I already knew. Which is that Led Zeppelin fucking rocks. You can clearly tell they’re making a conscious effort not to rock so hard, minimizing the heavy drums, the feral moaning of Robert plant, and screaming solos. But it doesn’t matter. They can’t help it. It still rocks.
Herbie Hancock
5/5
Watermelon man is one of my favorite grooves of all time. Many of the albums we’ve listened to are so desperately trying to sound avante-garde, they forget you actually have to sound good too for your inventiveness to matter. Herbie does this and makes it feel effortless. One of my favorite quotes about art applies: “talent hits a target no one else can hit. Genius hits a target no one else can see. “
Pretenders
3/5
In terms of this genre of garage new wave bands (thinking of The Cars, Joe Jackson, Graham Parker, Elvis Costello) I don't think the Pretenders can really compete in terms of writing a hook or just songwriting in general. They have a strong, clean sound, but the songs themselves aren't always strong enough to stand out, even from each other. Since this is basically pop, I think lack of catchiness has to be held against them. Still this album rocks pretty hard in some places (The Wait and Kid are my favorites), and Chrissy Hynes oozes cool. Brass in Pocket is probably the most catchy song, but it feels like it doesn't fit in with the rest of the album. I think I might be contradicting myself, saying in one breath I want the songs to stand out from each other, then complaining about one standing out too much. It makes sense to me.
Dinosaur Jr.
3/5
Massachusetts boys!
I've been to maybe 5 concerts in the last three years and somehow two of them were Dinosaur Junior, so I think I've tried to convince myself they were better than they actually were. They play incredibly loud - and J Mascis goes off on most songs, but they often fall into a kind of 'wall of sound' approach where it feels like their main goal is to blast you away. To me, the effect of that is usually more distancing than engaging. "Freak Scene" is an awesome song, and I like a few others. But too often they favor dissonance to melody, and the album suffers from a lack of texture: they don't mix up either the volume or the rhythm enough - so it all has a flattening, almost hostile effect after awhile. The listener leaves with ringing in their ears and need for some peace and quiet. Or maybe I'm just old.
Keith Jarrett
5/5
I don't know anything about this person or this kind of music - is it piano jazz/blues/classical fusion? So without any comparators or understanding of the tradition its drawing from, I don't have much to say, other than that I loved the journey these songs took me on, and will be playing it as background music frequently over the next few months. I particularly enjoyed the little bluesy flourishes he'd throw in when I wasn't expecting them at all.
Earth, Wind & Fire
4/5
Lighthearted and genial grooves with some interesting arrangements and occasionally hokey flourishes. Sounds very much of its time, but not in a limiting way. the vocals are perfect, and the songs only occasionally lean into standard disco tropes. A bit of 70s schlockishness holds this back from greatness, but still a solid album and a really fun time.
The White Stripes
4/5
At times the simplicity of the song structure and the spare arrangements on this album are part of the appeal (fell in love w a girl, dead leaves on the dirty ground, hotel yorba) and make the sound feel fresh and original. But in other places, the playing (especially the drums) feels a bit too bare-bones, less intentional and more like a demo than a fully realized song (I can learn, This Protector). I think at this point, Jack White was still more an artist than a musician - it's not until Elephant that he really merged the two and reached his full potential. Still, this album breathed life (if only briefly) back into the genre (rock) that's given me more joy than almost any other art-form in life, so for that it gets 4 starts.
Dire Straits
2/5
This album is very strangely constructed. It starts off with a three straight fun, upbeat singles, then the wheels completely fall off and it goes absolutely nowhere. The entire rest of the album is meandering nothingness that seems to go on forever. It's like Mark invited you to a party at his house and you thought it would be awesome, but now you're sitting in his living room watching him sit on the couch in sweatpants, noodling on his guitar every so often and muttering to himself. Can I at least get a drink or something, man? It stinks in here.
Steve Winwood
5/5
Sometimes I really miss cocaine.
Beck
1/5
I wonder if Beck sounds so bored singing because even he is bored w these songs. Almost every song on this album is the same structure - a single repeating riff or progression w at most a single variation differentiating verse from chorus. No bridge. Meaningless disaffected lyrics sung without emotion or enthusiasm, w superficial trappings of quirk meant to distract you from the lack of actual talent or creativity. I bet even Beck couldn’t remember how to play most of these entirely disposable, interchangeable songs without looking at the sheet music. These aren’t songs so much as notions. Vaguely upbeat, non-objectionable auditory mood boards meant to play in the background of a commercial and make you want to lease a Kia. I’m going to steal a quote from my wife, who I made listen to this w me while driving to thanksgiving: “this sounds like a band you hear at a music festival when you’re waiting for the band you want to go on.” After ten songs or so helpings of this tasteless sludge I had to listen to Steve winwood back to back to get me in the right mood to see my in-laws. Happy fucking Thanksgiving.
Van Halen
1/5
I feel like I have the cilantro tasting like soap gene except for w Van Halen’s music, because these songs sound like complete shit across the board to me. The vocals. The guitar. The songs themselves, other than Jamie’s crying. It all sounds so cheesy and simultaneously overproduced and underbaked. Still, VH’s near legendary status makes me think there is some context I’m missing - something that doesn’t translate across eras. Like maybe vh’s tone and playing was so innovative and new at the time that nothing else mattered? Because other than that it doesn’t seem like there’s anything else here. Even eruption just sounds like button mashing to me. I don’t know. Maybe this is just the kind of music that isn’t meant to be listened to w a critical ear. Still, even trying to be open minded - I hate this.
I went to a neighborhood party recently and this other Dad was going on and on about how innovative and fresh these death metal bands he’s into are (while shitting on steely Dan! The nerve) - so I tried to have an open mind and went home and listened. It was the worst shit id ever heard! Not only unlistenable but also cliche, pandering, derivative dreck. I felt like he’d tricked me into dog food or something. I honestly think liking the shit he recommended means you are subhuman and it shouldn’t be a crime to physically assault you - or at least it should be a reduced crime, like animal cruelty. Next time I see this dude I’m gonna (be polite and say it was interesting) slap him in the face and I don’t think there should be any consequences. Anyway, I don’t quite feel the same way listening to VH, but it’s a similarly alienating experience.
Whew, back to back 1s for me. I swear I’m actually a pretty happy person.
Leonard Cohen
4/5
Lyrics that are fun to think about, even if inscrutable at times. Been thinking about death a lot lately, for no particular reason other than getting older, and for some reason this album made me feel better about it - which I think is one of the best side effects of any kind of art. ‘Suzanne’ and ‘so long Marianne’ are highlights, but I like all of it and will be listening all day.
R.E.M.
2/5
Every song is a 3 but the album is a 2
Creedence Clearwater Revival
5/5
The 5-6 song stretch from 'Looking Out My Back Door' through 'Long as I Can See the Light' is one of the best in American rock music. Every song is simple yet layered, both musically and lyrically, and the rhythms are straightforward but also varied and never stale. Fogarty's feral howl centers the listener by reaching out from all reverb and grabbing you by the throat. I often overlook CCR as one of the great American bands of the 20th century, but their influence on rock and creation of 'roots rock' is hard to ignore after listening to this album. I also appreciate the subtle air of no-bullshittery about them, despite coming out of CA at the height of flower-child moony-eyed nonsense.
Mariah Carey
1/5
Not for me. Nice pic tho
OutKast
5/5
I don't know much about rap, but I do remember hearing 'ms jackson' for the first time in like 5th-6th grade and it being one of the first rap songs I ever liked, while also feeling SCANDALIZED that it was about having a baby out of wedlock (I'm from Massachusetts). Fast forward a few years to high school, I have a distinct memory of this song coming on my iPod shuffle in my Honda Element during a week or so period when my girlfriend was 'late' and I thought I might become a teen dad - even in the moment it made me laugh. Anyway, these days, I usually only listen to rap either in a party setting or if I wanna feel menacing/dangerous rolling around the suburbs after dropping the kids off at daycare - rarely to feel 'moved' or more connected w the human experience. But Ms. Jackson tells a whole, relatable story, with these fully drawn out characters going through such a common thing. A whole album of that would be tiring, so luckily we don't get that. The rest of the album is a blast, with so much creativity not only in the songs and lyrics, but the delivery too, the pronunciations, the little odd flourishes that fit perfectly w the emotion theyre expressing and make this feel so full of life (e.g forever, forever ever? forEVER EVER?) Rapheads will disagree I'm sure - but I think IN GENERAL rap is one of the less creative kinds of music, relying so much on sampling, established hooks from better songs, and a million rappers riffing on like three basic themes over and over and over. But this album is not like that at all. Songs like Bombs over Baghdad and I'll Call before I Come are bursting with playfulness and creativity. They arent limited by trying to be cool or macho. They remind me a little bit of Funkadelic, with the overflowing creativity, which is ironic since they don't sample them incessantly like so many mediocre 90s-2000s rappers did.
Fela Kuti
3/5
This made me wonder what percentage of my rating system accounts for novelty. Because if I only have to listen to one Fela Kuti album, it’s a 4. But by the end of the second one, they’ve both become 3s. This is good for what it is, but that’s enough Fela Kuti for me now.
Ray Charles
3/5
Nice sound, with the distinctive piano playing holding it all together. Ray’s voice is huge and comforting. Can only go so high for an album of standards not re-invented in a particularly unique way, but still a thoroughly pleasant experience.
Red Snapper
2/5
I like to imagine this album was made by Jez from Peep Show. Has anyone else seen that show? It’s a British sitcom from the early-mid 2000s and maybe the funniest sitcom of all time (imo). Anyway, Jez is one of the main characters - a clueless, lazy and talentless electronica DJ with delusions of grandeur, and this sounds exactly like the music he and his crackhead bandmate Superhans make together. To me, it’s not that it sounds bad (it sounds fine) but just that there is a general aimlessness to these songs where it feels like keeping ‘the groove’ going is a distraction from the fact that the songs don’t actually go anywhere. they just add increasing layers to themselves as they go on, which is a neat trick once or twice, but I just don’t think these musicians are pulling from a deep enough bag of tricks to keep this interesting for more than a few songs.
The Mamas & The Papas
3/5
Most of this sounds dated, especially the schmaltzy instrumentation. That's not necessarily a criticism of them, just my own taste I guess. Still, other than California Dreaming, many of these songs sound like imitations of Beatles songs of the era that I like better (Straight shooter sounds just like Paperback writer to me) or Beach Boys songs that have stood the test of time better, for whatever reason, maybe just because they were more iconic. Maybe its because the lyrics to these songs tend more toward cliche. While the singing and harmonies are obviously well-executed, harmony for harmony's sake can have the effect of de-personalizing the tone, as it sounds like a crowd of people singing to you rather than the voice of one person telling you how they feel.
Stan Getz
5/5
I love this. Sophisticated, sensual, playful. I’m definitely going to make sure this is on the playlist next time I throw an orgy.
The Beach Boys
4/5
I've been struggling all weekend to articulate why my gut reaction is to give this album a 4 instead of a 5. Obviously, it sounds amazing, the harmonies are spectacular, and it was hugely innovative and influential, so I have no objection to it being generally considered one of the greatest albums of all time (other than maybe to spite Sean). But something being objectively great doesn't mean I personally have to love it - and there is something about the Beach Boys I just don't fully connect with. For lack of a better word, I think it's a lack of 'edge.' I don't mean that the sound is too refined or over-produced - the sound manages to be both perfect and inviting. Instead, I think it's more about the songwriter's POV. There's a childlike quality to the songs, an innocence, I guess, that when sung by men in their 20s with beautiful singing voices, leaves my inner skeptic wanting more. I want these songs to hit a littler harder, to have some teeth to them, to sound like this music is coming from a man who has lived a little more of life instead of an extremely talented group of kids with great singing voices. With the innocent act, I feel like Brian's not giving me the whole truth - not that he has to, but if he isn't, he should lie a little better. I know this isn't a valid criticism, I'm just justifying my own taste.
Steely Dan
5/5
6/5. Kings, midnight cruiser, fire in the hole - hook this shit directly to my nipples and jolt me till I scream, baby. There isn’t a single choice that is phoned in or expected, no riff that’s not alive. I can’t believe they made this shit when they were like 24. This album fucking rips.
Carole King
5/5
I love this album. Something about Carole king’s voice just gets me. It’s just bluesy enough while also sounding a bit like a suburban mom. Also the interplay between her jazzy chording and the booming simple bass lines creates a full, unique sound. The idea that she ever had to ask someone ‘will you still love me in morning’ fills me with righteous indignation. Is it sexist that everytime I like a female musician I basically fall in love with her?
Bill Callahan
2/5
If you’re going to sing this poorly, over such standard melodies, you better really bring it lyrically. Instead bill here is rambling on about tender willow branches and jaunty bees and too many birds and whatever the fuck.
The Avalanches
1/5
If I have to hear my boss tell me I need to be using AI more for the sake of efficiency, I’m going to kill him and myself. Fuck this robot music.
Lorde
1/5
She seems to be both very melancholy and very sleepy. She just woke up and has been informed her boyfriend left her and she needs to sing the song about it before mark antonoff will let her get out of the bed. He’s hitting a few basic progressions on a keyboard by the bed and just telling her to sing her thoughts as they occur - we have to finish this album by 930 at the latest so I can get to Miley Cyrus house.
3/5
I know U2 is good and Bono seems like a great guy. But, as a cold-blooded New Englander, I find it off-putting to hear a man expressing such big, earnest emotions. Every time I hear a U2 song, I have trouble getting into it because all I’m thinking is “oh no, the part where he starts wailing is coming.” OoooooOooooWahhhhhhwahhhhhOooooOoooOoo.
Beastie Boys
4/5
Maybe I went too hard at the beastie boys for licensed to ill, which I thought was the worst album we’ve heard so far. Because this was pretty good. Their evolution is impressive, from idiot kids sounding like they were doing an imitation of rap to musicians making up their own sound. Sure shot, sabotage and futterman’s rule all stand out
Various Artists
2/5
Phil Spector murdered women. That's not very Christmassy.
Beastie Boys
2/5
I think that’s enough beastie boys for now.
Meat Loaf
4/5
Since seeing Wicked with my 4 year old daughter my musical theater horizons have unexpectedly expanded. How would my life had been different if I’d been a ‘Broadway’ kind of guy? This album is like a musical theater rendition of Born to Run, both thematically and tonally, but more baroque and way less serious. I enjoy whenever something is so over the top it cant help but become tongue in cheek (I guess that’s usually called ‘camp’) - and I think that’s why I kind of love this album.
Alice Cooper
4/5
A very solid rock album, despite sounding pretty derivative in places and not having any true stand-outs. There are a couple of ‘shock’ type songs which, while being kind of silly in and of themselves, I think have an interesting effect on the whole. Without the ghoulish songs about fucking corpses and whatever ‘sick things’ is about, this is a fun and good but unremarkable 70s rock album. But with Alice cooper’s image as a sort of wild, goody necromancer, these songs all take on a kind of arch tone, which makes them feel more unique than they are. So while an album with these silly novelty songs weighing it down can’t really reach the highs of a true classic, they also lift it out of mediocrity.
Prince
3/5
I really love the premise of little red corvette: that Prince, a lascivious sex alien, thinks this girl needs to tone down her horniness a little. She must have been so confused. You’re telling me I’M too sexual prince? You’re wearing leather pants and a mesh blouse! You’re gyrating right now as we speak!
Anyway, my favorite prince songs are when he wants to fuck a girl so bad it makes him emotional. I think even us white stiffs can relate to that feeling. In general, I like Prince more than most pop (1999 and little red corvette stand out) but it’s still pop, and thus a little formulaic over the course of an album. The unanimously upbeat grooves feel like they are really designed to be played in the background of a dance party, rather than listened to by yourself, so don’t lend themselves too well to this exercise. Most lot of these songs have a real ASS on them too, with these sort of standard riffs ending w overlong, repetitive outros. But I guess for prince’s tastes that’s probably fitting.
Norah Jones
4/5
One of the best things about playing music with your friends is picking up on each others musical tendencies and preferences, even ones they aren't aware of themselves, so that, over time, your sensibilities sort of meld together. As Palantoni (sunshine and silliness) and Sean or anyone else whose ever played in a band with me knows, I've never heard a twinkly, jangly bluesy piano line I didn't like and then immediately demand to hear more of. So while this album is, as most of us have pointed out, pretty sanitized, a little repetitive and boring - there's something about the way Norah plays piano that speaks to something deep within me. Don't ask me why. You might say, I don't know why.
3/5
Strong first two songs but then the rest of these jams feel somewhat shapeless. Love the unconventional rhythm section and the varied percussion, but wish these components were employed in the service of more memorable songs.
Cocteau Twins
5/5
Feel like we’ve had a stretch of pretty mediocre albums, but this one fucking rocked! I’d never heard of this band at all so this was a nice surprise. They remind me a bit of Jesus and Mary chain, but more dynamic. Bit of the cranberries and sinead O’Connor with the Celtic flair to the vocals and off beat but hooky melodies. I hear a lot of them in the 2010s indie world, like passion pit and sleigh bells and tame impala. All that said, and despite these references, I’m giving this a 5 because, in addition to sounding good, their sound itself feels wholly original to me, like an unexplored land, at least to my ears. Found myself muttering ‘fuck yeah’ at a certain turn or beat drop several times alone in my car while blasting this. There’s something really exciting about hearing a whole new sound at 35, after 30 years of listening and playing music every day. Just when this exercise was starting to bore me a little, feel a whole new appreciation and gratitude for all this awesome music we’ve listened to.
Grant Lee Buffalo
2/5
I admittedly have a pretty low threshold for being annoyed by vague protest songs, but "America Snoring" struck me as a particularly condescending and whiny addition to the genre. The rest of the album is so staunchly 90s it almost sounds like a parody. I hear a LOT of REM in them, little bit of the Pixies (if I'm being generous), maybe some Goo Goo Dolls (if I'm being cruel). The songs are very conventional and formulaic for that era, both in structure ('verse chorus verse chorus bridge, guitar solo that reiterates the vocal hook, chorus chorus';) and in the playing (standard drumming, bass that doubles the root note of whatever open-chord the rhthym guitar is strumming, inexplicably moody singing) The melodies and progressions all feel very basic - which is fine if the song is primarily a vehicle for interesting lyrics (a la leonard cohen, dylan), but I can't say that's the case here. In fact, this album is almost entirely devoid of unusual or interesting decisions. On top of that, I detect a note of preening self-seriousness in the vocal delivery, which is annoying. Does anyone remember the Sopranos episode where Adriana is trying to manage a shitty 90s pop rock band, and Heche tells her 'I just don't hear a hit' ? This band reminds me a lot of them fictional band.
That said, some formulas are formulas because they work - Jupiter and Teardrop + Fuzzy both kinda rocked. But it's no surprise at all that, amid so much 90s nostalgia, this album has been lost to history.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
4/5
Hard to deny the energy and uniqueness of this album. I’ve always kinda hated on RHCP because Keidis gives off date rapist energy and their California skater dude schtick is just not my thing. But now I think that might’ve just been snobbery on my part. Enjoyed this (particularly the first half) way more than I thought I would. Their sound and attitude doesn’t always appeal to me, (particularly the tuneless white boy rapping) but more often than not I was bobbing my head to this
Curtis Mayfield
5/5
This a completely foundational album for me, so I’m incapable of analyzing it or being critical. Have a distinct memory of being like 16, blasting this album while driving around the lily white suburbs, filled with desire to go out into the world of danger and desperation he’s describing. It’s absurd I guess, in 2025, for a suburban whjte Dad to feel such strong nostalgia for an album that was already 25 years old when I first heard it - an album dealing with a world I had absolutely no understanding of and couldn’t relate to at all.( Thinking now - I wonder if this album was playing in my subconscious when I decided, for reasons I still don’t understand, to be a social worker in the bronx for like 5 years. What a strange move, Frank)
Maybe it’s resonance speaks to the universality of the themes, the perfection and creativity of the music, the storytelling that neither romanticizes, wallows in, or glorifies the issues it explores. I don’t know. In any event I’ve been blasting this for like 3 days now. Kinda wanna quit my corporate cushy job and jump back into the fire w my old friends Freddie, Eddie and Superfly.
This is one of my favorite albums of all time. Blows my mind now just like it did when I was 16.
The Verve
1/5
Oasis minus the hooks, edge and charm.
It's interesting that their one good song (Bittersweet symphony), built on one awesome hook, is the most unlike the rest of their sound, which is basically hookless, meandering mush.
The Cars
5/5
Boston guys have already spoken about the Cars legendary status here. As a result we’ve all heard almost all of these songs 1000 times before. But I still love the precision and intricacy of the parts, and how tight every song fits together( the opposite of the formless slog of the last album. Seriously fuck the Verve). Every component is important and adds to a much greater whole. Ive never been more mad at another musician than when palantoni and I’s shithead keyboard player in college didn’t bother to master the synth line in Just What I Needed and thought he could just wing it. Just completely misunderstanding the whole point of the Cars and why we wanted to play them. What a dumb fuck. On the other hand, I’m sure my completely blacked out attempt at recreating the guitar solo in the bridge was FLAWLESS.
R.E.M.
2/5
I keep trying to come up with rational explanations for why I don't like REM. I listened to this whole album in an attempt to better understand my taste, completely ruining my drive home from work. Still, I acknowledge the quality of the craftmanship. I can completely understand the case for liking REM. But finally, I realized the only song on here that I actually enjoyed as a listening experience is the instrumental one. So I think it all just comes down to hating Michael Stipe.
I think my problem with him is that he sings with such a strong sense of emotion in his voice. That's not a problem in and of itself obviously. My problem is that it's always the same emotion. I'm not sure how to describe that emotion - it's sort of like a wounded, somewhat condescending pensiveness? Like he's just given me bad news and is now explaining the factors that caused the bad news to happen to try and make me feel better? But I just don't want to hear it right now man.
Haircut 100
4/5
Some people might find this blasphemous, but this sounded a bit like the clash to me. And like orange juice (rip it up and start again). The bass and the rhythm section is super tight and fun. Really fun and upbeat, with some nice melodies and harmonies. Probably no song great enough to reach the highs of a 5 star rating, but I really liked the sound and the sense of fun about this band. Never heard of them before this. Great find
Beatles
4/5
Kind of impossible to evaluate the Beatles because whatever standards I have for rock/pop music is based on their influence. It’d be like saying you prefer a Tesla to a model-T - even making the comparison makes you sound ignorant. That said, if evaluating just on personal taste, this is a solid but not amazing album. The catchiness is there - and that’s the element that carries them through all their eras, even the experimental ones. Kinda crazy that it was only like 4 years between this and the white album (my favorite). I guess you can’t get from here to there that quickly without having a really strong songwriting foundation. And that’s what this album establishes.
2/5
I don’t get it. No more PJ Harvey please.
I bailed on this after a few songs because A, they were bumming me out and B, we already had a very disposable album from this lady and I know enough to know now that’s she’s just not for me. Mopey and downbeat music has a time and place, but her songs just don’t feel sharp enough yo justify the indulgence. I’ve got problems of my own, PJ.
5/5
I’ve got nothing interesting to say about the Beatles. This isn’t my favorite Beatles album (a bit too carnivalesque/ cheesy in parts for my taste) but it’s still obviously a classic and no other band could have made it, or thought to.
Screaming Trees
5/5
My ears are still ringing like an hour after listening to this in my car because I just couldn’t turn it down. I see this classified as grunge, and from reading it seems like these guys were part of that scene. But to me this felt a lot more energetic, less morose, more like an extension of American hard rock, a la Iggy pop. Full and heavy but not weighed down? Really good music to drive to. Maybe unremarkable technically, but sometimes I just want to rock my dick off on the drive home.
Maybe going out on a limb here, but can o my go with my heart…
Sonic Youth
1/5
100% and sugar Kane feel like this band trying to show they could have made listenable songs if they’d wanted, they just prefer to make abrasive noise pollution instead for some artistic or philosophical reason. Instead I think they just proved the best they were ever gonna be was mediocre. To me that makes their other songs seem that much more pathetic.
I hate sonic youth and whatever it is they stand for.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
The gold standard of rock. Everytime I hear something and ask myself ‘does this rock?’ I’m really asking if it makes me feel the way this album does.
The Cure
2/5
Doesn’t rock. Next
Doves
3/5
I always thought I hated Coldplay, but this Coldplay imitation makes me appreciate them a little more and see how their talent for melody differentiates them. I actually probably like this band’s sound more than I like Coldplay’s, while also docking it points for being clearly less original and interesting than Coldplay. I’m all fucked up.
This album doesn’t suck but also doesn’t do much else. 2.5 but rounding up to 3 because I’d never heard of them and there’s a little novelty there
Paul Revere & The Raiders
2/5
This kinda sucked. Want to give it a 1 but giving it a 2 because I’ve noticed that I tend to be either all or nothing with these reviews on wednesdays because that means I’m listening while sitting in traffic after work. So I’m either taking out my frustrations on an album or giving it way too much credit for pleasantly distracting me. That’s how you end up calling people who like the beastie boys subhuman or giving a random screaming trees album a 5 and texting Sean and palantoni multiple times about how disappointed I am in them for not sharing my enthusiasm.
Anyway I turned this off after like 6 songs because the songs sound like a cheap Rolling Stones knockoff and the mix sounds like shit, and instead cranked ‘white pepper’ by Ween. I give that album 11 out of 5 and if you don’t agree you’re a FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT USE YOUR FUCKING BLINKER.
Jacques Brel
4/5
I’m a little French, a little pretentious, a little gay. So this was right up my alley.
Metallica
2/5
Even though whether something rocks or not is a big part of my evaluation rubric, Metallica rocks and I still hate them. I think it's because they are usually rocking about how mad or frustrated they are - which just isn't something I want to rock about. I want to rock about hot chicks or Lord of the Rings or deaf blind pinball players or even the Devil as a proxy for my frustrations or aggression. I don't want to rock about emotional problems so directly. To me, Metallica is emo for mad dudes.
Giving an extra star because Enter Sandman rocks the way I wanna rock.
Steely Dan
4/5
Very good but not their best. Love any major dude and Barry town, but the rest of the album feels a little rote compared to the highs they hit on Can’t Buy a Thrill and Aja. I think they are leaning a little closer to blues on this album, but they are at their best and most unique when combining rock and jazz
The Velvet Underground
2/5
I expected to feel a strong sense of nostalgia listening to this, as VU was one of my favorite bands in high school. Now though, hearing this fills me with something like self-loathing, as I really don't hear what I ever thought was so great about them, and can only assume I was just being pretentious. Simplicity can be a virtue in rock music obviously, but here it strikes me as affected and, at times, a little mawkish. Now that I'm older, the edginess in Lou's lyrics sounds like it's coming from a middle class Long Island teenager imagining 'gritty' city life (yeahhh dude, transvestites prostitutes everywhere wow crazy). On other albums, the experimental and innovative aspects of VU, brought mostly by Cale, help overcomes alot of Lou's deficiencies on other albums. But here that is mostly absent (Cale had left the band, probably because Lou was a legendarily huge prick), and the one time they try it (Murder Mystery) feels kind of tacked on and uninspired. I still like Pale blue eyes, and the organ on What Goes On, but all in all, this is pretty weak.
Stereo MC's
1/5
This was absolute garbage. Not even worth discussing. On the other hand, this reminded me what a true 1 sounds like and is making me reassess the 2 I gave the velvet underground yesterday. Id like to change that score to a 3 please.
Prince
5/5
Ok, I get it now. This album fucking rocks. Taking out the bass line of when doves cry and somehow that making the whole thing work is the move of a demented sex genius. Take Me With U and I Would Die 4 U are my two favorites, but Darling Nikki also rocks. Was looking up chords for Darling Nikki yesterday and someone in the comments used a Samuel Johnson quote to describe Prince's sound: "He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man." Love that. He's a sex beast.
Buddy Holly & The Crickets
3/5
Pretty good for what it is. A few songs I'd heard before but didn't know where they came from. Don't have a ton of buddy holly thoughts
Buffalo Springfield
4/5
Having trouble moving on from prince. Everything else feels stale. Any other week this is probably a 5 from me. But just can’t hit the highs the same way after rocking all weekend. Giving this a 4 because I think that is probably what pre-purple rain Frank would give it. But I’m just guessing. I’m a totally different man.
Jimi Hendrix
5/5
I think the music you hear when you are 12-14 has an outsized impact on not just your taste but the kind of person you’re gonna turn into. I first got into Jimi Hendrix at 12 (at Sean’s house) and Are you experienced is probably the album that made me quit all the sports teams I was on, grow my hair long, start smoking wind tea (teabags soaked in windex, pretty epic high/ intense nausea) and locking myself in the basement to play guitar and write songs about girls I thought were hot but was too afraid to talk to. Never really course corrected, unfortunately. Gonna make sure my son just listens to pointless AI slop so he thinks music sucks and does his math homework.
I have no recollection of doing the foxy ears mime during Lesbian Makeout Party’s debut at the 8th grade talent show in 2001, tho I remember Sean being pissed. I can’t be held responsible for my actions - I was not Frank that day, my mind went blank, I was but a mere vessel through which Jimi’s immortal spirit flowed.
Anyway Jimi is creativity incarnate and without question the most influential electric guitarist of all time. I don’t think his songwriting gets enough credit either for its uniqueness. I actually like Axis Bold as Love better as an album but this one is almost as good.
Sade
3/5
I liked this a fair amount - great background music. Especially liked ‘when will I make a living’ and smooth operator rang a bell. Will listen again, even if not really my taste
Ladysmith Black Mambazo
2/5
Can it just be noted that Ted gave this album of lion king sing alongs a 5 and JIMI HENDRIX and LED ZEPPELIN 3s. Just want to make sure we all saw that.
Steve Earle
4/5
Sort of a cross between John Mellencamp and John Prine. The sort of country music that feels more like roots rock, with clever and effective lyrics that make feelings of small town confinement and ambition seem like especially American emotions. The sound is nice and clean and uncomplicated, with each song drawing from the same tonal palette but still feeling unique in construction (the distinct and catchy lyrics - ie. "goodbye is all that's left to say" - are a big part of this). Though the country twang and southern references probably make this considered country, i think it's more of an ancestor of Wilco or (Pat nailed it) Ryan Adams, than Toby Keith. I would like to drink some beers around a firepit in my Dad's backyard and listen to this album while he's talking to himself about politics.
Genesis
4/5
I know this is kinda goofy. Some of these songs go on forever. There's a lot of fucking around. But I just love Peter Gabriel. I love the grandiosity and weird time signatures. The medieval mysticism works here, I think - maybe not. i'm not sure. Not always. But either way I love when artists make strange and inexplicable decisions with a confidence that borders on lunacy. I'd rather something be enthusiastically misguided than safe but effective. Sometimes that ethos leads to a 12 minute synth jam to nowhere, sometimes it leads to The Cinema Show, which rocked. I won't return to this album often, but when I do it will be for an extremely specific vibe I don't think any other band could provide.
Elton John
4/5
I am fascinated by Elton John and Bernie Taupin's songwriting process. Apparently, Bernie writes the lyrics first, then Elton reads them, chooses which ones he likes, and writes the music. But what about completely nonsensical, confusing similes like 'You live your life like a candle in the wind, never knowing who to cling to when the rain sets in' made Elton read it and think 'now THATS a hook?' A candle doesn't know or not know anything! Much less what to do when its raining? It's a candle! What the fuck are you talking about? I find the problem with a lot of Bernie's lyrics. He must be the luckiest poet alive to have his harebrained and inscrutable verses immortalized by a musical genius and god-level performer.
In the end, it doesn't really matter. Elton john is so talented he could sing the phonebook and make it a hit. Any one who can write a halfway solid reggae song centered around lyrics like: 'Come on Jamaica. Everybody say We're all happy in Jamaica. Do Jamaica jerk-off that way' must really have the goods. Other songs like 'goodbye yellow brick road' do read as though they might be meaningful to the writer (where the dogs of society howl MUST mean something to SOMEone, right?), but making sense of them as the listener is completely impossible. Maybe not knowing what any of his own songs are about frees Elton up to play around with them and arrange them in a way he wouldn't be able to if he'd written them himself? In any event, the combination obviously works more than it doesn't. This album is 7 songs too long but still has enough invention and charm to it to still be a classic anyway.
Joni Mitchell
2/5
I don't like Joni Mitchell. I know I should. This is probably the 5th time I've tried to listen to this album and every time I feel like I am forcing myself to engage with it. Partly, it's her voice. There's not enough to grab onto with it. But more than that, every song sounds to me like she's making it up as she goes, finding the melody as she sings it, hitting random chords. There's nothing driving the song forward. It's a similar feeling to listening to my wife (who I love dearly) tell me a story, with lots of extraneous details that don't add up to anything and aren't relevant, forgetting to set the stage for the interesting parts, then getting frustrated that I've given up and now back to looking at my phone. Like, yeah, maybe I'm being a little rude. But this is mostly on you, babe.
Sonic Youth
1/5
Oh fuck you.
Simon & Garfunkel
5/5
Another half concept album. Still works
Joan Armatrading
4/5
Really smooth and pleasant music - pretty obvious progenitor of Tracy Chapman and the lady from 4 non blondes (not just because of superficial racial and sexual orientation similarities). Just different and tuneful enough to not sound like an adult contemporary blues. Nice Sunday afternoon music, had a great time listening to this while the sun slanted in through the kitchen windows and I made my family enchiladas.
Björk
3/5
I've always loved Human Behavior but it was the only Bjork song I knew. Never thought to explore more. I think I'm an essentially uncurious person. Anyway, turns out I wasn't missing much, as that's the most interesting song on the album. The rest of this is basically standard early 90s Euro dance music with a singer trying to throw us off the scent of banality every so often with the odd unexpected key shift or some dissonant warbling here and there. She seems to be drawing from a melodic palette that often doesn't compute in my head. Occasionally it works, like Big Time Sensuality also. For the most part though, she wants to give us something new, but all I'm getting is a headache.
I don't really know how to rate albums that I dislike on the whole but which have two good songs. This is probably closer to a 2.5, but I'll give her a 3 for being different (and attractive)
Pavement
2/5
Hate to do this, guys, but I gotta be honest: I fucking hate pavement. The ‘I don’t care’ attitude and sloppy, apathetic sound feels like a defense mechanism against criticism that these songs are underwritten, the instrumentation uninspired and their sound derivative of better artists who had already been long out of style. It’s like when a kid says ‘I wasn’t even trying!’ whenever they lose. In an adult, it’s kind of pathetic. It may be true that the noodly, unassured playing gives them a distinctive style, but if that distinctive style can otherwise be described as ‘sucking at your instrument’ I’m not sure it’s anything worth striving for.
Because of their indie status, this is probably the 10th time I’ve given this album a try, and every time I try to convince myself that songs like ‘cut your hair’ and ‘range life’ could have been big singles in a just society. But it’s just not true. They weren’t big singles because they aren’t very good.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
4/5
I think this is about as bad of an album as you can make while having 4/7 songs be absolute classics. What Neil brings in songwriting talent and originality, he takes away with pure guitar malpractice. After about the 4th minute of aimless, anti-melodic, distracted noodling in Down by The River I found myself almost laughing at how badly he'd managed to butcher an otherwise great song. He plays guitar with all the intentionality an focus of a 13 year old practicing scales while watching TV. Similarly, with Cowgirl in the Sand there is a truly great 2 and half minute song buried beneath nearly 7 minutes of the worst guitar playing I've ever heard in my life. Reminds me of that clip of Yoko Ono shrieking over a collaboration with the Beatles and Chuck Barry.
With all this said, Cinnamon Girl and Everybody Knows this is Nowhere is a hell of a way to start an album. Cover versions of down by the river and cowgirl in the sand show how they have good bones but fucked up faces. This is probably more of a 3.5, but rounding up because Everybody Knows this is Nowhere is my mother's favorite song and one of the best songs ever written about being bummed out
U2
3/5
Bloody Sunday rocks and the rest is just a lot of u2
Frank Zappa
3/5
I'm grateful to have gotten this album, as Zappa has always been a pretty big gap in my musical knowledge. And I can tell there is a lot of interesting stuff going on musically here - the rock and jazz elements combine with an anarchic energy to make something that still feels fresh all these years later. That said, I don't think I have a refined enough ear or understanding of theory to really feel moved or hooked by much of this. More than anything, it probably comes down to huge sections of each song having a meandering and improvisational feel (as a lot of jazz does by design), and that's just not my taste. I can recognize the innovation and originality going on, but it just doesn't do a ton for me personally.
Queen Latifah
1/5
Putting this album on the same list as all these legendary artists is like letting a make a wish kid shoot a free throw at halftime of an nba game
James Taylor
5/5
When JT started singing about being a steamroller in the sweetest, most polite college boy tones, I thought ‘there’s no way he can pull this song off’ - but then he started absolutely ripping the blues guitar, as nasty as anyone can play it, and halfway through I was fully convinced he is not only a steamroller steamrolling chicks on the reg but also a cement mixer chunking and funking, or whatever - but doing it all in the style of a friendly neighborhood pharmacist, making it even more badass. The son of an MGH doctor, he’s an inspiration to us suburb white boys all over - we can rock too! This an old man take, but listening to this album makes me kinda mourn how little premium is placed on raw musical talent with today’s music. JT is an absolutely filthy guitar player with a beautiful voice who could not only rock your dick off but also write a song that will move you to tears. He is an American treasure. This music is perfect for Saturday/ Sunday mornings with the family.
Only negative is that as I was playing this album in the kitchen snd having these grand thoughts of JT steamrolling through Martha’s Vineyard or wherever he hangs out, my wife said ‘wow you’re really turning into your dad’ and I had no counter at all.
Guns N' Roses
4/5
Hard to review this because the best songs (Jungle, Paradise City, Sweet Child) are all songs I'm now, at 35, very sick of. But if I were hearing them the first time right now though I'd be blown away. Problem is the other songs are almost all filler. I can only rank this based on how I remember feeling one time, probably around 17 or 18 (perfect age for GnR) blasting 'Paradise City' alone in my car as loud as it could go and feeling invincible.
Three 5 star songs and the rest are 2s and 3s. Rounding up to 4 because i like to rock.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
2/5
The Yyy were the quintessential New York hipster band in the 2000s for a reason. Because they suck.
They have a unique sound, I’ll give them that, but for the most part it’s a sound in a search of a song. The unique sound is partly Karen O, and party due to the lack of bass - but I think to pull that off you have to have either really tight melodic songwriting (which they absolutely don’t, case in point the embarassment that is ‘black tongue’) or turn the constraint into an asset somehow (best example I can think of is prince’s kiss, where your ear almost unconsciously replaces the absence of the bass because the other instruments make the groove). But most of these yyy songs actually do need a bass, and without it they feel weightless and unfinished - like this album is a demo recorded in a warehouse in bushwick, and a not particularly promising demo at that. The braindead drunk girl screeching doesn’t help either. The only song where the lack of bass enhances the song rather than detracts is Maps, (and to a lesser extent y control), where the drums and guitarist briefly pull their heads out of their asses to long enough to realize they are the ones responsible for creating an actual rhythm. Those two songs lift this from a 1 to a 2.5, but I’m rounding down because I lived amongst the hipsters in brooklyn for a year or so and the devastating style to substance ratio of this album encapsulates that whole scene way too perfectly.
The Beta Band
4/5
First discovered the Beta Band awhile ago with 'Dry the Rain' and 'Dog's Got a Bone', two great songs from their first album, but hadn't explored much beyond that. These songs are very much in the same vein - most are subdued and hypnotic at first but rising naturally over the course of the song to a satisfying crescendo. Mix that pattern with some pretty good hooks, creative sampling and just enough rhythmic variation and dynamic vocal layering and it adds up to a pretty unique sound.
One of my favorite parts of this daily album review thing is it makes me more aware of my own biases, blind spots, hypocrisy etc. For example, I'm realizing now my stance on sampling is completely incoherent. Sometimes I say its lazy, sometimes I say it's derivative - but here I like the way songs sound so I'm saying it's totally fine, even innovative. Usually, I'm just making up intellectual, occasionally moral, justifications for whatever my ear happens to already like.
The Flying Burrito Brothers
3/5
Feel both smart and dumb for listening to this and my first thought was 'this sounds like the byrds.' Had no idea they were basically the same band. This kind of 'california country' doesn't really register with me. Feels sun-dried and acid-washed, missing the sense of place and culture that most country draws from. That said, its not unpleasant. Like Burrito Brothers 2 especially.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
2/5
The rare instance of artistic development actually being a negative for the final product. Elvis’s first few albums are all time classics (I suspect we’ll see them later)- witty, acerbic, mean and fun. My Aim is True is a top 5 album for me. But as he got older he lost his edge and started fucking around w this more mature jazzy sound, but I don’t think he has the voice or chops to pull it off. This album is fine but mediocre and undistinguished. I don’t know who it’s for. At his best, you can almost hear the snarl in his voice, but in this version he’s basically crooning. As a truly great artist, he probably just wanted to not repeat himself, but it would have been better for pop music if Elvis had just cranked out five more my aim is trues instead of evolving himself into a guy who sucks.
Rush
5/5
Always thought Rush was for nerds, but I loved this album for the drumming alone. So many subtle little touches, combined with big grandiose drum rolls and double bass kicking. This whole album is insanely tight, and though I know what some people mean when they say the technical focus leaves them cold, in the case of most of these songs, I think the virtuosity actually serves the song and lifts it to another plane. There’s a cheesiness to rush, and Id never say they are great songwriters or anything like that, but their utter mastery of their form lifts this album out of 80s schlock and makes it something special. Even the weirdo time signatures don’t feel indulgent to me; they make each song a more engaging listening experience. Was air drumming through the neighborhood while walking the dog.
Deep Purple
3/5
In trying to catch up on albums, I listened to the first few songs of this before the nick cave album about his dead kids that followed, then returned to the back half afterward. A dead kid sandwich, if you will. Anyway, in contrast to that extremely not fun or playful in any way album, I really appreciated these guys just rocking away without a care in the world. Just having fun out there. We’re never gonna die.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
2/5
Definitely felt pretty sad listening to this, knowing the context of this album. So if good art is supposed to make you feel something, I’d have to say this works. But I’m not sure it succeeds in speaking for itself. Some of the harmonies swell in a nice way, but the songs themselves are nothing special, and the poetry is sometimes affecting but more often maudlin, sometimes almost comically so. In fact last night when I was listening to this while walking the dog and walking around my neighborhood, I paused for a while and was staring mournfully at the sky, not noticing another dad walking by with his dog. Then Nick cave started basically sobbing on the mic about burning horses and spirals made of children and it was so over the top and macabre that I actually starting laughing out loud to myself right as the other dude walked past me in the dark. I bet he was fucking terrified.
Lambchop
1/5
I hated this. Maybe the lyrics are interesting (from what other reviews say), but the music is so DOA that setting interesting words to them would be like putting a corpse in a tuxedo. Still dead. The chord changes feel obvious, the rhythms are rote, every melody goes exactly where you'd expect it to go. The horns and backing vocals are nice, but for the most part these arrangements feel like they should be scoring the end of a sitcom where the main character learns a very special lesson. i can't understand what would compel an artist to make something so bland and uninspired.
Pink Floyd
3/5
I kinda liked this. I'm not really a big fan of pink floyd in general because of their somber self-seriousness, but this was more of a whimsical, fun version of them. No really great or memorable songs, but entertaining on the whole. Sort of like the Doors mixed with the Beatles, mixed in with a lot of cheap psychedelia which hasn't aged well. But I do have a certain appreciation for when musicians are clearly fucking around and having a good time together - when it comes down to it, that's really the whole point.
The Stooges
2/5
I like search and destroy but on the whole I think this is a little one note, and a grating note at that. This kind of aggressive, vaguely adolescent punk rock is probably much better live where the energy is part of the appeal. Listening to it 40 years later on a recording, it just sounds like basic rock music played somewhat poorly.
Rage Against The Machine
5/5
Almost got in a car accident in my suburban mommy car on my way to Lowe’s to buy a new dishwasher because I was jerking the wheel back and forth in time with the syncopated guitar that comes in halfway through the ‘now they do what the told ya’ part. That song makes me, a suburban father who works for the largest corporation in Massachusetts, want to join the revolution. Death to corporate pigs! Fuck this dishwasher. I don’t even want it!
Every guitar player has a riff they play more than others, and I think ‘another bomb track’ might be Sean’s. I think I’ve heard him play it a hundred thousand times in my life, beginning when we were twelve and raging agains the machine meant going on his roof and throwing crabapples at cars. When this started playing I was immediately twelve again at Sean’s house, full of a rage so innocent and energizing it was indistinguishable from joy.
Def Leppard
3/5
Expected to hate this a lot more than I did. Obviously as a whole, its not great. And as a piece of art, it's not great. I think this is mostly because the lyrics and general life outlook the style connotes are so braindead. The mix sounds expensive and stripped of its humanity through overproduction. But the music itself? Kinda fun.
White Denim
2/5
Need to give this another go sometime. Seems like music that needs focus to appreciate. When I tried to listen to it while distracted, I found all the layered business almost nauseating and couldn't hear through it to the actual songs being played. I like messing with time signatures as much as anyone, but a lot of these just felt to me like musical exercises for their own sake.
The Jesus And Mary Chain
5/5
Oh hell yeah. I feel like music or art that you come across at random just hits different than when something comes recommended by an algorithm or marketing. Not sure if this is true for others. BUT, in keeping with my somewhat spasmodic approach to art and life, I for some reason bought this CD in like 2004 when I was 14, in America, having never heard any music even of this genre and time period and part of the world before, for no reason other than I saw it in a CD store and thought it was a cool band name and cool album title. Brought it home and fucking loved it. The surly creepiness of the vocals. The huge, jangling chords. The sparse but haunting rhythms. I tried to write like 5 songs based on the 'Just like honey' drum intro, but it never really worked. Really curious to hear the groups thoughts on this - I can't be objective because I just remember 14 year old Frank (Spike at the time) feeling like I was the only person in the world to hear of this strange, menacing music, and that I didn't have to share it with anyone.
"Eating up the scum is the hardest thing for me to do" - I had a feeling this was sexual when I first heard it but had no idea what it could possibly mean. I still don't. But every so often, for no reason, I'll hear that lyric in my head at random times. Doing the dishes. Driving down the street. Trying to make a point in an important meeting. Eating up the scum is the hardest thing for me to do. The brain is weird.
Wu-Tang Clan
3/5
I wonder if there is anyone who is REALLY into rap skits. Like they have a list of the ten best rap skits on different albums and get really passionate about their criteria for what makes a good rap skit. I'd like to meet that person and discuss rap skits with them.
Anyway I can see why people like this. These guys are very menacing, and are good at telling rhymes about why we should be frightened.
Joy Division
3/5
I misheard the first line of this album: "I've been waiting for a guide to come and take my hand / could these sensations make me feel the pleasure of a normal man" as : "I've been waiting for a GUY to come and take my hand / could these sensations me feel the pleasure of aNOTHER man" and so for the rest of this album I thought Joy Division was some kind of seminal gay punk band (no pun intended). Then I looked up the lyrics after nothing gay was mentioned again. Anyway, I think this album would be more interesting if they were actually a seminal gay punk band, as opposed to just a bunch of straight moody dudes.
This album wasn't bad - I like the way they center the songs around the driving bass, and the upbeat drums mixed with melancholy makes a unique sound. Its just been raining a lot the past few days and so didn't really need another downer. What I need, maybe, is a guy to take my hand and show me the pleasures of another man. Wait no, ha ha, I meant a GUIDE. A NORMAL man. I'm straight, I swear. A GUIDE AND NORMAL MAN!
Pixies
2/5
Where is my mind and gigantic feel like the only songs where they were trying to make actual songs. The rest of this feels like half-baked filler disguised as avante garde anti-songs.
LL Cool J
4/5
I think I'm already on record as saying that I really like any rap song in which the rapper proudly describes himself as 'funky' - so when LL informed me in the very first track that he 'gets funky, frequently' I was very much in.
I know that my rap opinions are invalid because I liked this more than Wu-Tang. To me, LL seems like an ancestor to Drake. Especially on songs like 'around the way girl' He's a smooth dude who likes the ladies not just for their bodies, but for their minds and personalities too. That's how I like to think of myself too, come to think of it. And the ladies love cool Frank too.
Spiritualized
2/5
Not unpleasant, just kind of pointless.
Louis Prima
5/5
I'm not sure how you'd characterize the tone of the album - raucous? Gleeful? There's a perfect synergy between the off-kilter at times even anarchic humor in the lyrics and the wild, fun energy of the music. I especially liked the menacing but also oddly innocent call and response part in the second song where the man threatens to punch the woman in the eye and she says i'd like to see you try and then they both laugh and (presumably) continue dancing the night away. It's a tone that almost wouldn't make any sense in the current day and age, but its still so specific you can still imagine how it would have played in the 50s. That plus whoever is on the keys here is absolutely TICKLING those ivories. I guess I'm saying I kind of loved this.
Neil Young
4/5
This is my favorite version of Neil. Say what you will about his guitar playing (I think I called him incompetent in another review) but the man can write a haunting melody that makes even the most abstract and, by his own admission, meaningless lyrics sound haunting and profound. Reading the wikipedia where he makes fun of his own lyrics was very entertaining.
Neu!
2/5
Nein.
Liz Phair
4/5
I liked this pretty consistently throughout. Nice variation of song structure and dynamics. This type of melodic and confessional songwriting sometimes feel a little predictable musically but she surprised just enough to keep this feeling fresh throughout. On the whole, I compare this album favorably to others of its time. It more effectively and interestingly captures the ethos bands like pavement ere going for (loose vibe, disaffected attitude, edgy 90s slackerism) because the songs feel more intentional and also more personal. The raw emotion in her songwriting and voice makes it easier to connect to her on a human level. Plus pretty catchy. I especially liked glory, never said and dance of the seven veils and fuck and run. Album probably would have been better at 12 or so songs, but I think it was pretty consistently good (if maybe only great a few times)
Kendrick Lamar
4/5
I didn't realize how much of this I'd already heard before now. This album was absolutely huge among elitist white millennial circles in hipster Brooklyn when it came out, which isn't a criticism of it in and of itself, but may explain why I felt somewhat hostile to it initially. That and the fact that I thought Kendrick's super bowl performance and anti-Drake theater to be pretty lame and kind of depressing.
That said, this is obviously an interesting and well-conceived piece of art about growing up - tapping into an American musical tradition that crosses cultures, genres and time periods. This is basically rap's answer to Bruce Springsteen's Born to Run era, mostly about being young and ambitious and needing to break loose of your environment to discover who you really are. But where usually songs about this classic theme have an ebullience to them (i.e the ecstatic and anthemic feel to Born to Run), Kendrick's take is somewhat tepid. He doesn't burst into adulthood so much as sort of just adapt to it. He slinks into it. It's not the most compelling or fun story, but is probably more true to what growing up actually feels like for most of us. So if that was Kendrick's goal, good job.
But while I can appreciate the artistry and skill in storytelling here, I don't personally turn to mass market pop music (as an art form in general) to reflect back the feeling of everyday life in such generally plain and straightforward language. I've heard Kendrick described as some type of elevated lyrical genius and a poet and all that - but I don't really hear that when I listen to him. To me he's more of a 'truth-teller' type of writer, rather than someone who can transform the banal into something higher with the power of language alone. Because of that, I wish the beats and hooks were more fun to listen to.
Giving this a 4 because I recognize there's something appealing about rap to many people that I think I'm just unable to fully appreciate for whatever reason, and that might be more user error on my part. For what it is, this is great. But what it is still doesn't really do it for me.
OutKast
5/5
Great contrast to the highly skilled but dour Kendrick Lamar. OutKast is a burst of raw joy. Usually goofiness would be antithetical to being cool - but somehow they pull it off. Their oddness never feels like a put-on, rather just an unintentional but maybe even necessary side-effect of their creativity, like sparks off of a flame. Of course they could have clipped some of the many skits and intros/preludes, but when the style is this intentionally maximalist and over the top, less wouldn't necessarily be more. Loved the Rooster, Knowing, and many of the other deep cuts I'd never really explored - but can I say something maybe controversial? Hey Ya is best pop song of this century.
Elvis Presley
4/5
Elvis's backing band doesn't get enough credit. While he clearly isn't yet the best version of himself as a singer on this album, their version of rock and roll still sounds raucous all these years later - especially on the more uptempo songs. The frenetic energy of the bass player is especially notable, it sounds like its chasing the drumbeat around, and half the time it feels like the whole song is about to spin out of control. The only thing keeping them all together is the smooth, calm and often surprisingly wry tone of this young Elvis, who is just having a blast out there. Less interested in the ballads on this album, because Elvis doesn't yet have the gravitas or melancholy to pull them off.
Dolly Parton
3/5
I was thinking this was pretty OK for its time, but the Sheriff's review made me start to think of this differently, and realize I was unintentionally grading this on an artificial curve. While this music nice in a sort of throwback, antiquated way - compared to the innovative and groundbreaking music happening all over the world at the same time, this is actually mostly just treacly sentimental bullshit. Why does almost every song reference her 'mama'? Too much mama.
A friend of mine once visited Machu Picchu, the Incan ruins built in the 15th century. When I asked him about it, I expected him to be really impressed and talk about how amazing it was. Instead he shrugged and said "I don't know - the Romans built way more impressive cities 2000 years earlier."
So Dolly Parton = Machu Picchu. Both are somewhat interesting in a vacuum, but considering the context and time period in which they were created, pretty underwhelming.
Bee Gees
2/5
Really in a slump here. All these albums suck. I only listened to the first song of this and it made me feel depressed.
The Fall
2/5
Adding a star because of the great album title. This kind of bratty, sloppy punk just does nothing for me. The instrumentation (is that a rhodes electric piano in the mix?) is unusual for the genre but not in a particularly interesting way (it sounds like maybe they just had one in the studio and thought, lets try that), and the songs are more ideas and patterns than real songs.
The Kinks
5/5
I've played this card too many times, but this is another nostalgia album for me. Got really into the Kinks right before leaving for college, and this album about feeling wistful for your childhood/hometown/ identity really resonated with me at the time. I think Ray Davies is one of the wittiest and original storytellers in rock history. Each song on this album is either a complete story or a fully realized thought - and the music itself is equally full of life. The tempo changes, harmonies and recurring melodies match the dynamism of the lyrics. There's a real artistry to every song. For my own taste, I love the Kinks particular mix of mid-range acoustic and jangling electric guitars - a sound they'd develop more later with Muswell Hillbillies and Lola vs Powerman (in my opinion Lola is one of the best rock songs ever written) and which I've often tried to emulate in various bands. The Kink's obsession with the particulars of English culture probably limited their global appeal and accounts for why they aren't considered on the level of the Beatles and the Stones in America. But each of their albums is like a whole world inside itself, and song for song, they are one of the best bands of all time.
Buena Vista Social Club
4/5
very nice. Made me want to drink a cold modelo in a hot room with a fan blowing on me. Pueblo Nuevo was my favorite.
The Flaming Lips
4/5
Some of the psychedelia and general overproduction hasn't aged well, and there are a few duds, but I really like alot of these songs, esp fight test, yoshimi, ego tripping at the gates of hell. I think what I might be responding to is the sense of whimsy that drives alot of this. Too much whimsy can obviously be annoying if it feels artificial or self-amused, but to me, the flaming lips have always felt like genuine weirdos pursuing their own strange interests, which is my favorite kind of artist, even if the execution may be a little uneven. I don't know why but the way coyne sings the line 'you won't let those robots eat me' in such a sincere, earnest tone has always made me laugh.
This is probably more like a 3.5 or so but rounding up because these days I like any art with a general anti-robot theme.
The La's
3/5
The Celtics are the sorriest group of absolute fucking losers I’ve ever seen in my life.
This album was ok
Cypress Hill
4/5
Funky and fresh
Jane's Addiction
2/5
Navarro is obviously a filthy and creative guitarist, but I just don’t like these songs all that much, outside of been caught stealing. Seems more about the energy and attitude than the artistry of the songs themselves. Perry Farrell approaches every song the same - it works sometimes, but sometime it sounds like a hyperactive little brother intentionally trying to be annoying with all that high pitched squealing.
Count Basie & His Orchestra
3/5
A little too dated to serve as generic background music, but still pleasant
AC/DC
4/5
I’m not sure why I love AC/DC but hate Van Halen. Both bands play simple three chord lighthearted hard rock about the joys of being a dickhead, but with AC/DC I find this ethos completely charming and even life-affirming, but w Van Halen find it repugnant and depressing. Maybe it’s the subtle difference between being cheeky (bon scott) and cheesy (Roth). That, and Angus Young just fucking rocks, where VH always feels like he’s trying to impress you.
Every song is basically the same thing but who cares? There are few bands in history better to drive a car too than AC/DC
Laura Nyro
3/5
Sort of like a more show-tunesy Joni Mitchell, with a little Carole King sass, though not as distinctive as either (though this could just be because I'm listening to this 60 years later with the benefit of already knowing it hasn't passed the test of time). I enjoyed stoned soul picnic and a few others, but didn't have a strong reaction either way. Felt like she strained to hit maximum volume on her vocals a bit too often and in doing so lost texture in her tone. But definitely a dynamic and interesting songwriter.
Dead Kennedys
3/5
Kinda grew on me over the course of the album, but the shitty audio quality is hard to overcome, esp on the vocals. More intelligent and creative than most punk, political without feeling preachy. This is really a 2.5 but bumping to 3 because I do think the Dead Kennedys is one of the best band names I’ve ever heard. Chemical war and holiday in Cambodia are solid.
Charles Mingus
4/5
I usually don’t ‘get’ jazz or really understand what the musicians are trying to express. It’s too cerebral for me, too mathematical and abstract. But this album filled me with a kind of dread that I sort of enjoyed, I think? It was definitely more work to enjoy than my typical taste - had to tell myself to ‘hang in there’ through more than a few chaotic spasms of trombone, but it was worth it, overall, I think. I guess I can’t just spend the rest of my life playing air guitar to AC/DC, can I?
Fleet Foxes
1/5
No band better captures the cheerily anthemic yet hollow, soulless and ultimately ineffectual optimism of the entire Obama-era than Fleet Foxes.
The sound of a millennial playing a mandolin makes me want to kill myself.
Q-Tip
3/5
Pretty nice. I like the unusual and jazzy beats and the high tone of his voice and syncopated cadence. No hits tho
k.d. lang
1/5
(Fart noise)
Oasis
4/5
Sean is crazy. All rock bands are composed primarily of gimmicks if you break them down far enough. And Oasis's gimmick is basically being sing-songy and melodic while still rocking pretty hard, which is good enough for me. This is without question one of the boldest and most consistently high quality rock debuts of the 90s. Live forever and supersonic both rock. This is probably a 5 for me but going to deduct one star because 'ShakerMaker' is literally the same melody as Coca-Cola's 'I'd like to teach the world to sing' and that resonance might subtly imply that there isn't a huge difference between a great rock song and a commercial jingle used to sell poison to children, and that fact makes the love of rock music I've built a part of my identity on feel sort of tawdry and pathetic if I think about it too much. Rock and Roll!
Muddy Waters
5/5
Sometimes I think the blues is a rudimentary, almost primitive art form, among the least nuanced modes of expression we have. Then I hear something like this and all of a sudden realize how fucking awesome something that fits that description can be.
The Band
5/5
It makes me kind of mad that The Band has so many Canadians in it. Their music feels very American to me. They should be considered one of the best American bands of all time. Why aren't they American? What the hell.
Baaba Maal
1/5
Oh wooowww list, you are sooo interesting and thoughtful to include this, list - benevolent even. What a sophisticated list you are. So worldly and intelligent. You’re a very good list.
5/5
This sounds like a greatest hits album. I didn’t realize just how many oasis songs I knew and loved. The run of roll with it, to wonderwall to Don’t look back in anger is about as good of a stretch as you’re gonna get in modern rock. Wonderwall annoys people because it’s so ubiquitous, but the truth is huge bands don’t have one song as good as that, and it’s like the 5th best song on this album. Nobody writes a big chorus like Noel Gallagher. I fucking love Don’t look back in anger.
Calexico
4/5
This was a gem. Dark, southwestern gothic indie rock? An unusual, slightly sinister mix I found compelling. The sonds are mostly within the same mode, but varied enough to feel interesting throughout. Something about that sinister Mexicana day of the dead vibe is always cool. I really liked the way they mic the drums to get a sort of sidewalk busker sound, but in a way that somehow felt natural and not affected. This was the kind of thing I was hoping for from this list - more hidden gems, less African slop rock please. The only thing this album is missing is a hit.
One thing I will ding them for is an absolutely atrocious album cover. I’ve never really thought of album art as part of the album itself, but actually do think it detracts from the experience in this case. Every song and sound on this is so intricately deconstructed, and then the cover art looks like it was made by a 7th grader in graphic arts class.
Lauryn Hill
4/5
I think this was the only album my sister, a huge nerd who I don't think actually likes music, ever bought.
Lauryn Hill has an incredibly emotive and powerful voice that makes songs like Doo Wop and To Zion (my fav on the album) really hit hard. To Zion had me really feeling the joy and beauty and sort of ever present and hard to express but ever-present fear inherent to loving your kids so much it hurts, which isn't an emotion I've ever gotten from a pop song. Nice work, Lauryn.
That said, her voice and tone is also very self-serious and sort of somber, which means she's more of small doses listen to me than someone I want to listen to a full album from. She's also a complete nutbag according to her wikipedia - evidenced by how every song is credited 'Ms Lauryn Hill,' which is apparently what she demands people, including bandmates, call her in person? She never followed up this album due to mistrust of the media, and I do wonder if the backlash against her in the MTV 90s had something to do with her being a STRONG BLACK woman refusing to be stereotyped as a ho, which was very much the fashion for pop stars at the time. Or maybe it was because she was nuts. What do I know? I'm just a white guy who thinks she was hot.
Queen
4/5
Bohemian rhapsody is the only song on this album I like, but it’s an incredible song. The song about the car and the prophet song are both fucking terrible. Like among the worst songs I’ve ever heard. And Freddie mercury is impressive but also I find some of his breathy histrionics grating. On the fence between a 3 and a 4 but I’ll go 4 because boho rhapsody is one of the most original songs in all of classic rock.
Kanye West
5/5
Is Kanye the only muscial genius of the 21st century? I'm not even really a fan (even before the Nazi stuff, always found him annoying) but this album is so clearly on another level from everything else going on at the time. It's abrasive and strange and unlike anything else, yet still works on its own. Kanye is a madman who delivers his bizarre, unsettling vision with such conviction, you start to feel a little crazy too.
Gil Scott-Heron
2/5
I couldnt find this on spotify. I listened to a live version of a few of the songs, but the performances were kinda shitty. Not really fair but moving on
Kate Bush
3/5
If you get lost in a dark wood and kidnapped by an evil witch, when you awaken in her dungeon and she takes a sort of venomous liking to you - she will explain herself through song in a manner very similar to this album.
I actually kind of like it in small doses. In other moments I feel like I’m about to get baked into a pie.
Nick Drake
2/5
Lighten up Nick.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
4/5
The best songs are great and innovative, but in a few cases they sound the least like the rest of the album. The highs are high (under the bridge, breaking the girl) but the rest is dragged down by repetitive funk slop. I think if this were ten songs it would be a great album.
Morrissey
3/5
I know morrissey is considered very polarizing - but i feel about as neutral to slightly positive to him as I do about anyone
Turbonegro
3/5
Dumb but fun. Nothing wrong w that. Rock against ass!
The Beach Boys
4/5
Might be a philsitine take, but I like this just as much as Pet Sounds. It’s just as interesting to listen to from a sonic quality perspective, and has equally good songs. It struck me listening to this how influential the song writing stylings of beach boys have been for pop music in general. Example is the pop punk craze of the late 90s (blink 182 etc) has way more in common w The Beach Boys, from a songwriting perspective, than it does punk or hard rock.
Public Enemy
2/5
Sometimes I wonder, if you added it all up, what would the total real world impact of all the world’s great ‘political art’ be? Feels like anti-communist art produced in Russia or the eastern bloc countries probably gets the most bang for your buck. Gulag archipelago, darkness at noon. Or maybe the American anti-war movement - apocalypse now, Bob Dylan. Or actually, it was probably the abolition era w the most impactful art. Those guys really did some damage.
Anyway, this sucked.
Aretha Franklin
3/5
Was it just me or was the mix off on a lot of these songs? Felt like I was listening to a band spread out all across a giant stage, everyone standing like 50 feet away from each other. The bass was all in my left ear and the drums all in the right.
Obviously, aretha has generational pipes
Super Furry Animals
4/5
I tend to like the kind of artists that don’t just give the song (or novel/movie) what it needs, but sometimes stuff it absolutely doesn’t need at all but that the artist for some strange reason felt the need to express. Feel like a lot of the decisions on this album fall in th latter camp. So for that I give 3 stars. I give an extra one because these weirdos can also write a hook
Ice T
1/5
Early rap has aged worse than any genre since Big Band jazz. 60s flower child psychedelia sounds more current than this poser pretending to be a pimp over a rinky dink drum track
The Notorious B.I.G.
2/5
I find it all a little dour, repetitive and silly. How many times can you talk about killing people. Did you actually kill anybody? I guess I don’t really care.
5/5
Ray Davies is one of most intelligent songwriters of all time. This album has more depth than most novels, but the language and delivery is so simple and unpretentious that its hard to even notice how evocative it is on the first few listens. The way he describes war as 'someone killed some mother's son today.' Or how 'everyone walks around with a perpetual smile on their face' in Australia - or, in my favorite song on the album, the narrator in his old age talks about his youth 'I wish my eyes could see everything how it used to be. But its too late. So late' He's wry without ever being sarcastic; clever without being a wiseass, emotional without any sentimentality. I don't think rock songwriting as an artform has ever really topped this album. It can be debated, I think, if rock music is really the right venue for storytelling - and maybe the reason this album wasn't popular at the time is because most people just want to hear songs about love or having sex, songs that they don't have to think too hard about. But it you like art that creates a whole story to immerse yourself in - this is as good as it gets.
Thats before we've even gotten to the quality of the music itself. Thats what brings this to another level. Every song is like a musical adventure, taking some strange turns along the way, and then usually ending in the same place it started, except changed somehow by everything it's done to get there. From an arrangement standpoint, I think its the best use of horns in any rock album - they always come in at the exact right time, usually the bridge, to subtly either lift the tone or otherwise take the song in a new direction. But they never overpower or call attention to themselves.
This is a top 10 album for me easily. Ray Davies is absolutely a better songwriter than either Paul McCartney or John Lennon. He's way more ambitious and way more thoughtful. It's just that fewer people actually want that from music.
What is it about music that makes it the best delivery mechanism for misogyny? I don't like misogyny in any other art form - it's especially cheap and offensive in movies and usually feels tacky and sophomoric in novels (I've always hated bukowski and think Henry Miller is wildly overrated; Hemingway sounds autistic when he talks about women). But man, Rod Stewart screaming at some poor girl he's just banged that her face is so ugly she shouldn't be allowed to laugh, telling her to stay over the night and fuck him but threatening 'don't be here in the morning when I wake up' - I was rocking out to this in my car and cackling while singing these lines. I'm not proud of myself. Obviously this isn't unique to the Faces in rock, and rap is like this x1000. Maybe it's that it feels more like its all in good fun to be a dick to girls if you're singing it? Like they are more in on the joke? Maybe it's the music appeals to something more primal and beyond reason in the first place, so it connects more directly to your monkey impulses without having to pass through the filter of your mind and good taste?
Who knows. I do know this album fuckin rocks. This is perfectly suited to my taste in louche, boozy blues rock. It's not surprising in the least that Ron Wood, given his sloppily perfect licks, would go on to join the Rolling Stones or that Rod Stewart, given his general outlook, would go on to have 8 children with 5 women.
Arctic Monkeys
5/5
This album is a burst of raw energy that never lets up. Sometimes that approach gets tiring over the course of the album, but at least for me, the songs and dynamics were variegated enough to keep me hooked the whole album through. Love all the chaos in view from afternoon, the hooks in still take you home and mardy bum, and there really isn’t a dud on the whole album. It’s a great album for remembering that ‘anything can happen’ feeling of young drunk nights out with your friends. Relatedly, I used to be in a band that would sometimes cover ‘when the sun goes down’ and I would often be too drunk to remember the lyrics I was supposed to be singing so I’d just slur random words in a pretend British accent.
Ps- I texted Sean my ebullient praise of this album after listening and he replied that I only like it because I’m a ‘rockwhore’ which I’m choosing to take as a compliment.
Rush
3/5
I tapped out halfway through the first song and the rest was underwhelming compared to rush’s best stuff.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
I think Robert Plant might be a cuck. Have you guys ever noticed how nearly every song on this album is about a woman either being untrue or cheating? And then Robert wailing in agony/ecstasy over this fact for 5-6 minutes. Something to consider.
Air
3/5
Adele
4/5
Damn, I guess I like Adele? What happens now? She’s got the best voice of anyone going right now. That ‘hello from the other side’ chorus always gives me chills, and I didn’t realize how many of these I knew and already kinda liked, despite never having consciously chosen to listen to Adele. Would love to hear her do a rock album, as I think she could be even better if she exchanged some of her melodramatic/maudlin sensibilities for a more playful and fun edge. But that’s just my taste - Adele rocks.
Booker T. & The MG's
3/5
This was ok.
Crosby, Stills & Nash
5/5
This was the first album I listened to after returning back from a week at a beautiful but faintly demonic destination wedding in Mallorca, Spain, a power union between two fantastically successful but dull-eyed finance vampires and house music enthusiasts who insisted on hiring some of Europe's (apparently) most in-demand house DJs to blast the most god-awful, soulless beep-boop bork- bork fuckslop computer music nonstop for two straight days while nearly all of the 250 avaricious ghouls in attendance numbed their brains and hearts with coke and ecstasy to distract themselves from the mist of hollowness and mortality that, by the end of the party, had begun to thicken to a choking fog.
Hearing this album upon returning felt like going from black and white to color in my soul. Long live music. Long live CSN. Long live humanity. One measure of almost any song on this album contains more life than 100 hours of DJ nonsense. We're going to be alright.
The xx
2/5
A few songs in I saw the groups ratings and figured the guys had this covered.
The Velvet Underground
5/5
"I'm Waiting for the Man" might be the most audacious and brash American rock song ever written, given the context of the time. Were it simply about going to Harlem to buy heroin (as the lyrics imply), it would already be more transgressive than 90% of songs of the era. But Lou Reed has an almost genius level talent for being shocking, and so also makes sure the song's lyrics could also be interpreted as being about a white boy going to Harlem to get (presumably) buttfucked by a black male prostitute. You can argue the wisdom and taste of making a song like this, but you can't say its not interesting. This antagonistic, maverick spirit animates the whole album (a song about loving Heroin and another about BDSM, Venus in Furs, carry this theme forward for example) but other parts of the album temper the darkness with surprisingly lucid touches of tenderness, self-awareness (Sunday Morning, All Tomorrow's Parties) and even optimism (I'll be Your Mirror). These tones might sound like they contrast, but they don't really - they inform, enhance and even complete each other. The music itself also contains these same strange dualities, being at times melodic, almost childlike, and other times going off the rails into pure anarchic madness. Again, it's the unusual combo of these elements and makes the final result so compelling and clearly one of the most influential rock albums ever made.
Clearly I've put too much thought into this, as I've probably listened to this album more than any other, especially between ages of 16-19, when I would have said this was my favorite album. The Velvet Underground's music creates a world of grit and grime and madness that is particularly compelling to a certain type of suburban white boy. Given how much I loved this album that is largely about heroin, It's a miracle I never got into heroin like so many other kids from Sean and I's town. I guess pretty early on I thought - if this drug is fucking up an unhinged, deranged maniac like Lou Reed, what would it do to me?
PJ Harvey
2/5
Get the fuck out of my face PJ Harvey
Kanye West
5/5
"Found bravery in my bravado" - this line from the first song on this album announces what Kanye is up to, and the rest of the album backs it up. The first half is stronger than the second half, but no one was doing the kind of stuff Kanye did at the time, and not since either. The beats are all interesting in their own right, and varied from each other. Mixing the sacred (gospel music, harmonies) and profane (grinding beats, autotune, references to his dick) is a classic formula that Kanye mastered here. I don't know if he is a particularly cogent storyteller, documentarian of the human condition or even lyricist, but that's not really what he is about. He is more of an aesthetic innovator than anything - and still, he does that so well that I don't think it's too much of an exaggeration to say this album transcends its genre on its way to being damn near a masterpiece.
Michael Jackson
1/5
I don’t know if it’s my background in child protective services, or the resonance with the Jeffrey Epstein files in the news this week, but after listening to this today I think I’m ready to admit something I’ve always felt ashamed of: I fucking hate Michael Jackson. To me he represents everything that’s wrong with the world, how if you have enough money or (more importantly) make enough money for other people, you can get away with all kinds of truly evil shit. I wish I’d never seen that hbo doc about him, but everytime I hear him sing a song like ‘rock with you’ with all his vocal gyrations, I can’t subtract from my brain the knowledge that, in his head, he’s rocking with a child. I know that you should seperate the art from the artist, but with MJ I just can’t.
So I don’t know if my reaction to his actual music is fair or not, but this album feels bland and corporate - so safe it’s almost sinister. The rise of anodyne but soulless pop may not have caused the death of rock as an artform w mass appeal and cultural influence but it definitely seems to have corresponded with it, and for that I blame MJ. So I’m glad he’s fucking dead.
Kate Bush
3/5
Some of these songs do rock and are very unique and inventive. 'Hounds of Love' is especially cool and still sounds current and fresh all these years later. Still, Kate Bush kind of reminds me of my wife's eccentric brother. He's an MD/phD who I can tolerate and even (with great effort) enjoy hanging out with in very small doses, so long as I stay focused on the interesting, unusual and sometimes downright brilliant things he says and NOT his oftentimes bizarre and off-putting interpersonal skills. One time at Thanksgiving he spent a good 10 minutes loudly chewing on carrots and speaking in what he believed to be a baby rabbit voice. Across the table, he said to his extremely gruff and severe Czech father, 'Hey Dad, I'm a widdle wabbit' to which Big Vlad just sighed, wiped his mouth with a napkin and said "I'm not amused by this anymore, Alexander." About six songs into any Kate Bush album, that's about how I feel.
TLC
3/5
Waterfalls is great but not really surprised or impressed w the rest. Not bad though.
The White Stripes
2/5
Sounds like Jack white ran out of ideas on this album, and Meg doesn’t have the chops to help him out. You can really hear her lack of contributions here, as every song has the same basic, repetitive, and straightforward beat with very little variation. I suppose that could be that the songs themselves were written that way, but they still could have been vastly improved by a band member with some actual input. Either way after blue orchid and my doorbell, the rest of the songs are pretty workmanlike and dull. Sort of feels like watching LeBron in like 2008 with the cavs. Impressive what he could accomplish by himself, but it was time to get some better teammates if he wanted to have a real shot at the chip.
Michael Kiwanuka
3/5
Starts off promising then veers into Frank oceanesque melancholia which I can see others liking but which I personally find a little drab
Suicide
3/5
I was actually enjoying this with a sense of ironic detachment for the first few songs. Especially the song ‘Frankie Teardrop’ about the working stiff who can’t lay his family’s rent, which i was amusing myself by imagining the guy was singing to me (Frank) while I did my usual shitty job at work. Then the character Frank murders his whole family with a shotgun over a manic repetitive beat and I had to turn it off.
I still kinda like this though.
Black Sabbath
4/5
Never been much of a metal guy, so didn’t know much behind Ironman, paranoid, and war pigs, none of which ever really grabbed me. But this album is really good - heavy in a fun way, but also interspersed with softer stuff I didn’t know they had in their catalog. My favorite is changes, which I think is the most distinct of the songs on this album. If I have a criticism, it’s about lack of catchiness despite the abundance of riffs. While I liked listening to all of these songs, after three spins through this album the only one I remember the tune to is Changes.
Anyway, RIP ozzy. Even though I blame him in some ways for the rise of the kardashians, he seemed like a fun dude so I don’t hold it against him. And he had better pipes than I thought.
Massive Attack
2/5
I listened to three songs. I just don’t understand the appeal of subdued rap.
Garbage
2/5
This band is aptly named
Elliott Smith
5/5
A beautiful bummer of an album. I was too hard on the first ES album we got, I think because at 35 with three children and a happy marriage I have very little use for depression or nihilism or sadness that feels performative in any way. But that doesn’t mean ES doesn’t have some pretty special songs or that his misery isn’t exquisitely expressed. Angeles, say yes, between the bars and rose parade were all songs I listened to all the time as a moody teen, and the fact that listening to them now I can picture exactly where I was the last time I heard them and how I was feeling at the time is a testament to their power and specificity. This is a great album I won’t ever listen to again (unless I ever get divorced).
Television
3/5
One of those bands you always hear about as being influential for the type of song they created. Feels like a looser version of the strokes. Nice to listen to, if a little repetitive over the course of the album
Slipknot
3/5
If one benefit of art is that it gives us a purer way than language to express emotion, i gotta admit: this kind of music does effectively capture the feeling of rage better than language or story does. 'To what end' is a question left unasked, but thats not necessarily the prerogative of the man wearing a scary demon mask and screaming MOTHERFUCKKKKKKKER in a cookie monster voice.
Obviously this kind of music is an easy target. And even if I don't like this or identify with it in any way, I do have to admit, I respect it more than I thought I would. The drums are huge, almost Bonham like, and its fun to listen to how they hold all the chaos together.
I was scared of all the slipknot kids in middle school. Thought they were up to no good. But I feel like I understand them a little better now. I wonder if this is how my 3 year old son feels when I won't let him have a popsicle and he gets so mad he tries to bite me. His heartbeat does feel like a double bass drum.
One thing I can't get past is the screaming - we get it guys, you're mad. The music effectively conveys that. You don't need to scream to prove that point. It's just too much screaming.
All that said, after listening to 6-7 songs of this while driving around, I got pretty worked up at a minivan that took too long to make a left hand turn in front of me. I screamed in my car, MAKE A MOVE YOU PUSSY. And, you know what? It was kinda fun.
The Clash
3/5
Punk is interesting, because on its own, as a genre, it is very dull. All the songs are formulaic, lacking melody, maybe because they are more about the attitude of a subgroup or culture as opposed to genuine individual expression. However when mixed in as an element of a song or as an elements of a style, it brings an edge or sense of personality that can really improve the whole. The Clash are at their best when their punk roots shine through in otherwise non-punk songs (Rudy Can't Fail, Rock the Casbah, Should I stay or should I go, Lost in the Supermarket). Unfortunately none of those songs are on this album, which is dull and repetitive and mostly sounds muddled and indistinct.
I guess, to some extent though, they had to first establish their punk rock bonafides in order to grow into that later phase though. So for that reason I'll give this a 3 when it's really more of a 2.5.
k.d. lang
1/5
I know pj harvey and kd lang have nothiig to do with one another ane sound nothing alike. But for the rest of the life, thanks to this exercise's insistence on their importance, ill lump them both into one single category: 'Chicks I hate'
The Killers
5/5
For what it’s worth, I think ‘Mr brightside’ is as close to a rock anthem as we American millennials ever got, even though it didn’t feel huge at the time. One of those songs you didn’t realize you knew all the words to until it’s 11pm at a wedding and you’re belting it out with everyone else. The rest of this album is very solid too, even if it has a few goofy moments (I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier. Ok. Cool. What?) within otherwise good songs. I don’t know - I would never consider myself a killers fan but on this listen I hear a lot of good stuff. I may be grading on a curve with the sad state of rock in the 21st century but I’m feeling generous.
Solomon Burke
3/5
I don’t really have anything interesting to say about this kind of music. It’s all kind of the same to me. It hits me the same way that Leon bridges does - polished and pleasant but in the end, sort of empty.
Billy Bragg
3/5
One of the most obnoxious album titles we’ve had. Don’t love the odd Marxist lectures peppered throughout the album, but on the whole this guys sound and style are unique. There’s a cockiness you need to put out a double album of mostly just you singing poorly over not much more than very basic strumming patterns - but he does pull it off for the most part with a certain rough charm. Apparently he’s known for his lyrics but I can barely understand what he’s saying for the most part. Still, a nice find. I’d probably go 4 stars, but I’m detracting one because he violates one of my core tenets which is that I can’t fucking stand when Brits opine on American culture. Based on his song about the youth of America and his extremely, almost comically on the nose political songs, Bragg seems like the kind of guy who’d love John Oliver and share his inane rants on Facebook. If he wasnt a solid songwriter (at least in his love songs) I’d probably hate this guy.
The Zombies
5/5
Like a cross between The Beach Boys and the Beatles, but with its own panache. ‘What’s your name who is your daddy is he rich like me?’ is one of my favorite creepy lines in rock, repeats in my head from to time (I’m broke). But there is way more to this band than I thought. First off the album sounds amazin. But the songs are so assured and complete - Care of cell 44, rose for Emily (English majors ftw) changes, this will be our year, are all such unique compositions. I can’t decide if the fact that they didn’t get famous off this album and the singer (whose voice I love) spent years as a car salesman afterward is cool or just a travesty. Huge find. Thank you bountiful list god.
Sigur Rós
2/5
Musical wallpaper
The Doors
3/5
People love to debate if Jim Morrison was really a poet or just a drunk, but in my opinion it’s a distinction without a difference. All artists fake it till they make it, and without Morrison’s savage mystic American Rasputin act, the doors don’t sound (to me) like much more than a solid bar band with unique keyboards. Whether or not the lyrics are actually meaningful is besides the point. Through mystique and bravado, Morrison made the doors themselves meaningful.
All that said I’m not a fan of this album. Feels like a slightly toned down version of Jim, and I need him to go full psycho or I’m just not that into their tinny, carnivalesque version of the blues.
Michael Jackson
1/5
My thoughts on MJ have been made clear in other reviews. Do you think he wrote ‘man in the mirror’ after molesting someone? Like this was his ‘no more molesting’ pump up speech to himself? Obviously a known molester like MJ can’t sing a lyric like ‘ see the kids in the street with not enough to eat
Who am I to be blind, pretending not to see their needs?‘ without a little evil smile to himself about what those needs might be.
If you want to make a the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change. Indeed. Unless that means stop molesting people, cuz I’m definitely not gonna do that lol.
Pearl Jam
3/5
I’ve never liked Pearl Jam and I don’t really know why. There’s a lot about this album I should like, but for whatever reason it doesn’t click. The best I can guess is two things: Eddie vedder always sounds to me like he’s trying to be sexy. He’s like a Jim Morrison without the danger. And 2, whenever I even kind of like a Pearl Jam song I look up the lyrics (because I have no idea what he’s saying) and the song is always about something totally different than I thought. ‘Alive’ is about fucking your mom? What? I don’t wanna sing along to that! ‘Jeremy’ is about a kid killing himself in the middle of school? ‘Daughter’ is about child abuse?? Just do less Eddie. Then you won’t have to slur and mumble so much to obscure the weird things you’re saying.
Ray Charles
3/5
Ray Charles has like 6 albums referencing the fact that he’s a genius in the title. I think he’s trying to will it into existence. I don’t think he’s a genius. I think he’s pretty good.
Cream
3/5
Think I might be an Eric Clapton hater. When Mick Jagger banged David Bowie's wife and wrote a song about it (Angie) it was cool, because he's a lovable rascal. When Eric Clapton stole George Harrison's wife and wrote a song about it (Layla) it wasn't cool, because he's a charmless prick.
These grand musings aside, I was surprised by how little I liked this classic album. Sunshine of your love is awesome (another Lesbian Makeout Party staple s/o Sean), especially the ingenuity of the drums, but most of the rest of this album sounds like garden-variety 60's psychedelic schlock.
Bob Dylan
5/5
Kinda gay but listening to Shelter from the Storm made me tear up last night on my drive home from work thinking about how much I love my wife.
Same with 'You're a big girl now' - even though I know it's about his divorce, I kept thinking about five-year old daughter starting kindergarten next week and being a big girl now and pondering the fleeting nature of life.
Anyway, this review sounds like a lot of me me me me me. But the point is, Bob objectively sucks at singing and this really isn't my style of music at al, but somehow it all works well enough to evoke strong and real emotion from not just me, but so many different people from so many different walks of life for all different reasons, all without resorting to schlock or sentimentality. And that's why great art is a miracle.
Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
2/5
This was slightly more interesting than the other mostly sameish British New Wave albums this list is so fond of spitting out. Joan of Arc (the first version) and The Beginning and The End both landed with me. There were some unusual sounds that felt like purposeful decisions rather than oddities for the sake of it. Still, on the whole this isn't able to consistently rise out of the pile of 80s synth-crap it was born of. If I had to diagnose a failure point on this front, it'd be the vocals, which are fine on their own, but feel too washed out and smoothed over at times to give these similarly bottomless songs the lift they need.
The Black Keys
2/5
When I listen to some random underwhelming English band on this list, I assume they must have been really popular and significant in the UK. I really hope English people don’t think this about the black keys in the US when they see this utterly forgettable album. I promise, no one has ever cared about the black keys.
AC/DC
4/5
I don’t think I’ve ever turned down an AC/DC song. There’s a quote about writing that I love that it something like ‘talent is being able to be versatile, but true genius can only be itself’ (not, i searchdd for this online and can’t find it anywhere, maybe someone just said it to me once in conversation, who knows). Like Hemingway, like Pynchon, like Berhnard, Ac/dc has only one style, but by limiting them, this style makes them singular. Fond memories of Sean and I covering ‘you shook me all night long’ as 12 year old virgins at a church sponsored battle of the bands.
Fleetwood Mac
5/5
Don’t have anything substantial to add other than it’s a great album. Maybe the best American record of the 70s? Never going back again is one of my favorite songs. Unsolicited plug for a cool cover - ‘dreams’ by the electric peanut butter company.
Coldcut
5/5
I’m listening to this. I’m listening to Rumours again. It’s so good I’m just gonna give this shitty album a 5 too for following it.
Gorillaz
1/5
Not very good music for humans. For gorillas though? Pretty impressive.
Hugh Masekela
3/5
There’s something quaint about jazz albums with dumb homespun titles like this. It sounds like one of those plaques quietly depressed housewives get at homegoods and put on their kitchen walls. Home is where the music is. Oh god, I’m so lonely.
Aretha Franklin
5/5
I first listened to this on my apple air pods and they completely strip Aretha’s voice of its richness and nuance. Had to blast this in the car stereo to get the full effect, and I’m so glad I did. Her tone has a whole world inside it. Don’t let me lose this dream is so fucking good. I wanna make my son listen to ‘never loved a man the way I love you’ to teach him how to be a heartbreaker. This album rips.
The Damned
2/5
Some interesting sounds but the songs themselves didn’t really grab me. I think punk has to be catchy to make its abrasiveness work, and this wasn’t for me.
The Band
5/5
I'm at a work event here I'm supposed to be networking but instead Im hiding in the corner just to say that I think 'the weight' is probably, measure for measure, my favorite song. I don't know why - the lyrics are hard to parse, the structure is repetitive and the progression is basic, but something about that song just gets me every time. I think it's either the floor tom right before 'put the load put the load on me' or the falsetto vamping after 'put the load on me' - something in that whole interchange is just buried in my soul. Rest of this album similarly great - especially 'tears of rage' and 'chest fever.' Somehow both loose and idiosyncratic while also never seeming like a note is out of place.
The Beach Boys
5/5
I loved this. Sincere, but with the kind of edge that comes w experi mce. Maybe less innovative than Pet Sounds, but that makes sense since it was 5 years later. Disney girls is so fucking good, as is Feel Flows and don’t go near the water.
Elton John
5/5
Almost loses a full star because Indian Sunset is so unbelievably corny and stupid. But the rest of the album is so good, in the same sort of goofy and stupid way, that I'll only deduct half a star and round back up to 5. Had never heard Razor Face or Rotten Peaches but loved them both. Elton is always just having a blast out there, and that energy if infectious.
What I love most about Elton though is how he so confidently and earnestly indulges in complete silliness .Jesus sells cartoon balloons in towwwwn. The lyrics to Levon are so odd and hard to follow that you'd think it would take away from the song's emotional impact - and yet i still kinda tear up thinking about how much i love my own son everytime Jesus rides a cartoon balloon into space and Levon slowly dies. It's like the silliness works to helps you lower your defenses gradually over the course of the song until finally you have nothing to protect you from that lyric hitting you directly in the soul.
Not on Indian Sunset though. Elton John talking about his squaw is just too funny.
Daft Punk
3/5
I was blasting this while cooking dinner for my family today in the middle of the workday, dancing around a little bit and chopping onions that made my eyes tear up really badly. My Vietnamese mother-in-law came downstairs, eyed me with concern and told me 'this weird music is too loud frank' before turning and going back upstairs. Not sure if she noticed I was crying or not and how that might have changed the conversation. In the story in my head, she now thinks I'm a possibly closeted gay party boy quietly danceweeping in mourning for my lost party boy youth. Anyway, I usually hate techno but this was at least good enough for me to humiliate myself in front of my mother in law so I'll say its at least slightly better than average.
Depeche Mode
2/5
There’s something about this specific vocal style of British new wave singers like this dude, morrisey and others. It’s like a melodramatic fancy boy baritone? Is there any American rock singer who sings in this style? Closest I can think of is Roy Orbison. Anyway, other than personal Jesus this all sound tacky and dated and terrible.
Siouxsie And The Banshees
4/5
Probably a three for my actual taste but I’m sort of blown away how relevant and modern this feels 40 years later. So much of the 2000s nyc indie rock revival feels directly drawn from songs like ‘monitor’ - the yeah yeah yeahs can’t hold a candle to the is chick.
Tears For Fears
4/5
Sean has been trying to convince me tears for fears is cool since like 7th grade. I never actually sat down and listened to them until now. While none of the non-hits really grabbed me, everybody wants to rule the world and head over heels are so fucking good they make this a 4 on their own. At times borders on being over produced but the songwriting and Melodies shine through so it only occasionally gets bogged down with self-indulgent 80s synth madness
Pixies
5/5
One of the only benefits of being a writer who gets rejected all the time is that everytime you get rejected you get to comfort yourself with the same self-righteous anger you had when you were a teenager that equates to something like “THE WORLD DOESNT UNDERSTAND ME” . Anyway, was feeling this way Friday night after an agent didn’t ‘get’ my new erotic novel, I got in my car and put on debaser and it hit me just perfectly. Felt like a weird teenager having a blast being pissed off and half-crazed screaming ‘SLICING UP EYEBALLS HA HA ho Ho ho’ alongside fat crazy Frank Black. Was just what I needed in the moment. The rest of this album rips too. Here comes your man has always been a particular favorite, (the snare roll is sick) as has this monkeys gone to heaven. This album was so much better than the other pixies on this list, which felt like weird for the sake of being weird. On the contrary, this was weird for the sake of being awesome.
Arcade Fire
3/5
There is something self-serious and affected about AF, like they’re aiming for your approval while also acting superior to you. Above it all. Some of these songs are pleasant enough, modern man and half light 2, are kind of cool. But I just get this hollow feeling listening to them. It’s cool without being fun.
Bruce Springsteen
5/5
Like Sean, I have a bit of internal resistance to Bruce. I think its because my mom is from New Jersey and talks about it like its the most interesting place in the world, like being from NJ makes her interesting somehow, and in the back of my head Im still just like: you're talking about New Jersey right? That strip of highway that exists only to feed New York City?
Part of it might also be the line in 'I'm on Fire' where he wakes up with sheets 'soakin' wet.' I dread that line for the whole song. I know he's talking about waking up in a cold sweat. Just say that. I don't want to think about you pissing yourself.
Still, after all these years he's worn down my resistance. Born in the USA is probably the last great American protest song. Dancing in the Dark rocks. The boss is corny sometimes, but he's still the boss.
Always loved Goin Down - thanks to Pat for that Vampire Weekend cover rec. Thats gonna be on rotation for a while.
I think it's between the Boss and Bob Dylan for best American songwriter of all time. Both are somewhat playing a character. Neither of them would be in my top ten favorite musicians, but can't deny the clarity and urgency of their perspective.
Yes
3/5
Man, you guys really like Yes, huh?
Missy Elliott
2/5
I had this on in the background while cooking and completely forgot it was on for about an hour and a half, which I think is about as apt a criticism as I can give.
Incredible Bongo Band
3/5
I don't think the Bongos are really bringing a lot to the table here. It's not bad bongo-ing. It might even be great bongo-ing. Nevertheless, it is still bongoing.
Tracy Chapman
3/5
I'm disappointed that I don't like this more than I do. It's a little tepid - the kind of music that wins grammys but no one actually loves. Sad, I've always thought I could have been a Tracy Chapman guy, in the right circumstances. It turns out I've built my whole self-image upon a delusion. Alas.
This was ok.
Hawkwind
2/5
Don’t have time for this space bullshit today
TV On The Radio
4/5
Sean and I went to see these guys a few weeks ago and it was one of the better concerts I’ve been to in the last few years. I’d thought they were nerdy hipsters but the frontman really put on a show. Of recent albums we’ve heard, I hear a lot of similarities to the pixies and Siouxie Sioux this time through, mixing melody with dissonance with a sort of coldness that draws you in at times but distances at others. Big beats and heavy bass give the atonal noise the structure it needs, though it gets a little repetitive over the course of a full album. Dreams, poppy and staring at the sun are highlights. Between 3 and 4 but bumping them up for being the best and longest lasting of the NY hipster era and for rocking hard live.
R.E.M.
2/5
Rock for avid bicyclists
T. Rex
4/5
Bisexual bros just rock a little harder
Linkin Park
1/5
The one thing I like about linkin park is they had one designated singer who was really good at signing and then also a designated rapper spitting the absolute LAMEST bars you’ve heard in your life with the utmost sincerity. He’s like, yo check it guys this is is gonna be dope - then just talks really honestly about his feelings in every song. I dunno if it’s the masshole in me but this kind of earnestness makes me feel like I’M CRAAAAAAWLIIING IN MY SKIIIIIN.
It’s like Korn but instead of being so stupid it’s fun it’s so serious it’s depressing. I couldn’t hate this anymore. RIP CHESTER.
Tito Puente
4/5
Agree with everyone on this. Lotta fun and great vibes. Gonna make margs and tacos tonight and bop around the kitchen to this while my wife looks on nonplussed.
Dexys Midnight Runners
5/5
Really enjoyed this - sort of a cross between Van Morrison and 80s David Bowie. I'd always thought of them as just the 'Come on Eileen' band, and that they were a one-hit wonder, but they've got a lot of verve and style going on here, if not a ton of memorable songs. Still, Come On Eileen is great and the horns really work throughout the album. Will be listening again.
Amy Winehouse
4/5
I think she really did need to go to rehab.
The Who
4/5
Keith Moon is an animal. A quick one while he's away rules. Like a lot of these songs but just don't love live albums other than Live and Dangerous.
Kings of Leon
3/5
This is gonna sound pretentious and elitist but whatever. There is something really workmanlike about the KoL. They are competent and skilled, but lacking any inspiration. They’ve go no point of view, no personality besides ‘vaguely soulful’. No hint of madness, and thus no possibility of genius. Nothing to hate but also nothing really to love. Simple but somehow cumbersome melodies. The chord changes are functional, more to resolve the scale than add anything unique to the song . I like the big drums and the heavy bass - solid grooves but nothing memorable. Best song is 17, but even their brand of pedophilia feels flavorless. Also, the singer always sounds like he needs to drink a glass of water.
Eminem
5/5
I was 9 or 10 years old when I first heard My Name is on the radio and I remember feeling feeling simultaneously electrified and SCANDALIZED by the lyrics, like an old school conservative politican who preaches family values while lusting after young women. Who was this white guy rapping? Are we allowed to do that?? He's not being very nice! Heavens!
Mostly, I was afraid of Eminem. It was so clever and so compelling, but so scary. Growing up, my parents best friend was this bohemian ex-con artist named Bob who would sometimes live in our basement (kinda weird but whatever it was fine). One night at the dinner table I was preaching about the evils of Eminem to my nonplussed parents, saying how it wasn't really art (really hilarious to me in hindsight that a 9 year old would be so indignant) when Bob interrupted and asked me why I thought that. I wasn't expecting to be challenged by my parents weed dealer and so struggled to come up with a response, and the best I could say was 'because it has no beauty.' And even as I said it I knew it was stupid and wrong and I sounded like a 9 year old. My parents and Bob all laughed at this response and then Bob gave his opinions on what art is but I was too mad so I went up to my room and sulked and listened to Jam'n 94.5 until Eminem came back on and they almost definitely all got high together in the basement.
Anyway, this album fucking rules. Now that I'm older I think that all art has to do is be new, and Eminem was copleteluy origiinal. His persona of an evil, insane yet hilariously self-deprecating (I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks (c' mere!)) down on his luck trailer park boy and lyrical genius was completely original at the time and subverted basically every rap cliche. It makes sense he was 27 when this came out, because he feels fully realized on this first album. My Name Is is the standout but Brain Damage is also great, and Bonnie and Clyde is just so brazen you can't help but be impressed. Everything is in such aggressively poor taste , at such a manic register, that by the end you realize you can't judge it based on normal conventions at all. Though there is a cartoonish quality to all of the violence, there are just enough touches of humanity and self-deprecation to make it truly disturbing - which is what he was going for. I guess I'm saying all this to say: Eminem is a genius.
Bob can still go fuck himself though.
The Temptations
4/5
Gonna put ‘run Charlie run’ on the background of my next neighborhood get together and see if anyone’s ears perk up at that chorus.
The temptations are probably one of the best selling American groups of all time, but I know nothing about any of them. I was impressed by the versatility here, though in places it could be mistaken for aimlessness. Overall Reminds me a little of mayfield and a little of funkadelic mixed with some more classic Motown. Love woke me up this morning was my fav.
David Bowie
3/5
I love Bowie. One of my favorite artists of all time. But, like Prince, I think his unique genius was spurred by wanting to fuck everybody. Once he got old and mellowed out, he became kind of pedestrian. This seems to be the case with 'genius' musicians (bob dylan, bruce springsteen, bowie, paul mccartney) more than any other type of artist. There's nothing wrong with this album, it's just not that compelling. I find that to be the case with most art where 'DEATH' broadly is the theme. Unless you've died and come back from the dead, there's just not much you can say about it that hasn't been said a billion times before, especially if the tone you're taking is one of the obvious choices (mournful, fearful, regretful, spiritual).
Maybe when I'm about to die I'll feel more interested in this album. For now, life is for the living.
Rocket From The Crypt
4/5
Kinda liked this. Lots of energy. Plenty of joie de vivre. Debatable amount of talent. What can I say? This rocks and I'm a rock whore. Starting to think I might not even like music that much, I just like to rock.
Brian Eno
3/5
Again with Eno. Cool sounds and rhythms, sounds ahead of its time for the 70s and maybe even still today. King's Lead hat is great.
Roxy Music
3/5
Always wanted to give these guys a deeper look. Some cool and interesting sounds, especially rhythmically. None of the songs themselves really grab me though. Eno seems like kind of a starfucker.
Curtis Mayfield
5/5
Might be violating my own rule giving this a 5 because it doesn't have any HITS. But I just can't get enough of the vibe. The heavy grooves and sensitive falsetto. Defines the genre without quite transcending it. Doesn't matter. SMOOTH.
Radiohead
1/5
When Radiohead is good, they are great. I enjoy many Radiohead songs. Even on this album, 'I might be wrong' is pretty cool. But when they're bad, they are one of my least favorite bands of all time. So much morose tuneless wailing. So much winking smugness. Most of this album is just half-hearted electronic bullshit masquerading beneath a veneer of unearned grandiosity.
Playing a song backwards isn't cool. It's dumb and it sounds like shit.
Portishead
3/5
Kinda nice. Smooth and relaxing music for a hip coffee shop in the 90s. Probably never going to listen to this again but was a nice change of pace.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
4/5
We’ve gotten a lot of minor albums from rock stars past their prime, and this is probably the best of them so far. Feel like this is Neil on his meds. Doesn’t hit quite the highs of early Neil but also doesn’t hit the perplexing lows either. The result is a really enjoyable album from start to finish, with only one bad song toward the end.
Pats line about Neil’s penchant for guitar slop made me laugh out loud. Perfect description
Julian Cope
4/5
Feels like what we'd get if Jim Morrison had come out the other side of the 80s. I listened to this probably 5 times, unsure what to rate it. It's too long and there's lots of filler, but I think anything that makes me want to listen to it 5 times gets at least a 4. It has a strangeness to it I find compelling. Also, in Pristeen the line about going down on someone you hate made me laugh.
Queen
3/5
I’ve always been kind of neutral on queen. After this album, I remain so.
Nirvana
5/5
There's a story about Kurt Cobain's Mom that I think about all the time. Apparently the first time he played 'Smells like Teen Spirit' for her she started to cry, not because she was proud of him, but because she knew it would be such a hit that her sensitive and troubled son wouldn't be able to handle it, and by making something so good he'd signed his own death warrant. That's how fucking good this album is, right from the opening chords.
Listening to this again it was hard to believe how many good songs were on it. I think Sean is probably right when he said this was the last great rock album. At least in terms of cultural impact, I can't think of anything better.
Someday, I would love to make something so good someday that my Mom fears for my life.
Lucinda Williams
4/5
I've got a soft spot for Lucinda. Every phrase sounds like it's squeezed out between sips of whiskey and pulls from a cigarette. In the style of Sheryl Crow but with a little more edge. Great album for a sunday morning. It's not on this album but 'Fruits of My Labor' is probably one of my most listened to songs over the past few years.
Wilco
2/5
I tried, Pat. But there’s something about Wilco I’ve never been able to connect with. Partly I think there’s a gap between what I’m looking for and what they are actually trying to do. Because he has a folksy delivery and vaguely folksy style, I keep thinking the lyrics are going to be direct and confessional. But tweedy is impressionistic in a way that makes what he is saying hard to follow, the images rarely make sense, so I find myself unable to grab hold of whatever he’s going for, and it’s more frustrating than interesting. The chorus of Jesus etc for example. Sounds like he’s saying something sincere, with this wounded honesty tone, but wtf is ‘voices shake singing sad songs tuned to chords strum down your cheeks bitter Melodie’s turning your orbit around.’ There are like three metaphors in there that don’t make sense with each other. I find myself fixating on that rather than the music. Maybe because the music isn’t that interesting.
So maybe it’s that. But actually I think it’s just a difference in vibes. Sean and I went to see Wilco a few years ago and tweedy seemed really annoyed by someone in the front row talking during a song and then he made fun of the guy because he was drinking a bud light, with the implication being he is low brow and should have been drinking an IPA. And I just thought, this guy is not my kind of guy.
The The
4/5
I think this exercise has taught me the one quality I consistently respect in pop or rock music is audacity. Doesn’t get more audacious than opening up a dance music album at the height of the AIDS crisis by lasciviously pronouncing ‘I’m going to infect you with my love.” I was pretty on board from that line on. Out of the blue and into the fire rocks hard. Sweet bird of truth is really cool. Lot of strange sounds and unusual choices all across the board.
Like Pat, “this is the day” was in my rotation for a long time. I love that song. We must have the same Spotify algorithms
Johnny Cash
1/5
This idiot had more than one prison album? Fuck Johnny cash. Fraud bitch.
Janis Joplin
5/5
You couldn’t make an album more suited to my taste than this. Bluesy riffs, plonky keys, RAW SEXUALITY. The songwriting isn’t elite. Janis’ soul is elite. On some songs it feels like you can hear the scarring in her throat, but I like it.
Venom
1/5
I know someday I’m going to hear a metal song and suddenly understand why people like it so much. My eyes will be open to the power of the darkness. That day is not today.
Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five
2/5
The message is good. Usually when I like a rap song from this era it’s just because I like the sample, so not sure how much credit they should get. This kind of rap feels like it’s from 100 years ago.
Miles Davis
3/5
Jazz isnt cool. Jazz is for nerds.
Violent Femmes
4/5
Cool aesthetic, unusual arrangements. Odd instrumentation makes it standout but also limit the upside. While I’m banging out these reviews I’m At a children’s playground listening to two dads have the most brutal conversation. One guy is telling the other about his boring software job and the other guy is just really politely taking it and clearly would rather be anywhere but here. He wants to be 21 again, screaming about girls breaking up with him. He wants to bleed. To feel. He doesn’t want to endure polite society. He wants violence. He wants punk. WHY CANT I GET JUST ONE FUCK. That’s what he’s thinking and the other guys is just standing with a weird power stance saying Yeah, I’ve been there for a year dude. Little more. They treat us well can’t complain dude can’t complain. Hey nice talking to you. WHY CANT I GET JUST ONE FUUUUUCK.
ZZ Top
4/5
Kind of like an American AC/DC. They do one thing but do it extremely well. La grange gets my rock dick rock hard
The Pharcyde
5/5
I think my love for the pharcyde is best summarized in Oh Shit when the narrator realizes he’s just been with a transvestite (transgendered? Unclear). Most rap of this era and since is too steeped in machismo and self seriousness to rap about this situation, but if they did they would probably call the person a faggor and maybe in the narrative murder them to show how tough and manly they are. But in this song the narrator just claps his hand good naturedly and declares ‘Yo he pulled a fast one on me! Oh shit!’ I think that spirit of fun and goofiness animates the whole album and makes this just a delight. Of course I’m the opposite of raps demographic so maybe my endorsement should be a sign of weakness. But that’s not my problem
Peter Gabriel
5/5
Didn't know I even liked, let alone loved, petey gabes before this list. But here we are. Uses cool and unusual sounds to enhance already good songs - sort of like the fully realized version of Brian Eno, who uses cool and unusual sounds to make mostly bad songs.
I was also thinking there are a lot of similarities between him and Kate Bush before learning she actually sang on this album. I always I knew I was smart.
Petey gabes is one of the only artists from the 80s whose sound sounds both completely of that era but also timeless. I don't know how he's able to do that - maybe it's that severe, almost religious tone he has in his voice. He sounds like a mad medieval doomsayer. Makes you pay attention.
The Rolling Stones
5/5
Probably my second favorite stones album after Exile on Main Street. Solid from start to finish, some of the best songs from their whole catalog. Dead flowers is probably my favorite. Crazy that so much of what we remember as the stones signature sound developed AFTER the Beatles had already broken up. A point in their column. Also I love how none of them ever tried a real solo career. They knew it was all in the unique mix they’d made, not about individual talent or vision. Self-awareness is a type of genius maybe.
The more I listen to them, the more credit I think jagger deserves. Most of the songs start kind of sedate until he bursts in and starts ho’ing it up. It all comes down to him really selling standard blues licks with his bizarro sexual exuberance. the best front man of all time.