304
Albums Rated
3.43
Average Rating
28%
Complete
785 albums remaining
Rating Distribution
Rating Timeline
Taste Profile
1970s
Favorite Decade
Post-punk
Favorite Genre
other
Top Origin
Wordsmith
Rater Style ?
36
5-Star Albums
4
1-Star Albums
Breakdown
By Genre
By Decade
By Origin
Albums
You Love More Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Alien Lanes
Guided By Voices
|
5 | 2.75 | +2.25 |
|
A Wizard, A True Star
Todd Rundgren
|
5 | 2.83 | +2.17 |
|
Merriweather Post Pavilion
Animal Collective
|
5 | 2.9 | +2.1 |
|
Future Days
Can
|
5 | 3 | +2 |
|
Deserter's Songs
Mercury Rev
|
5 | 3.02 | +1.98 |
|
Dig Your Own Hole
The Chemical Brothers
|
5 | 3.12 | +1.88 |
|
Clube Da Esquina
Milton Nascimento
|
5 | 3.13 | +1.87 |
|
Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo
Devo
|
5 | 3.13 | +1.87 |
|
Closer
Joy Division
|
5 | 3.22 | +1.78 |
|
Crooked Rain Crooked Rain
Pavement
|
5 | 3.24 | +1.76 |
You Love Less Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
|
A Girl Called Dusty
Dusty Springfield
|
1 | 3.33 | -2.33 |
|
Slayed?
Slade
|
1 | 2.88 | -1.88 |
|
Night Life
Ray Price
|
1 | 2.81 | -1.81 |
|
Hotel California
Eagles
|
2 | 3.6 | -1.6 |
|
Brothers
The Black Keys
|
2 | 3.58 | -1.58 |
|
At Newport 1960
Muddy Waters
|
2 | 3.55 | -1.55 |
|
Chocolate Starfish And The Hot Dog Flavored Water
Limp Bizkit
|
1 | 2.48 | -1.48 |
|
Dirt
Alice In Chains
|
2 | 3.47 | -1.47 |
|
Tres Hombres
ZZ Top
|
2 | 3.43 | -1.43 |
|
Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
|
2 | 3.39 | -1.39 |
Artists
Favorites
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Prince | 2 | 5 |
| David Bowie | 5 | 4 |
5-Star Albums (36)
View Album Wall
Popular Reviews
1/5
Yeah, this is awful, but you didn't need me to tell you that. But whatever you do, do not let that fact discourage you from listening to this - this is without a doubt an album you SHOULD listen to before you die. It's not just awful; it's uniquely, bewilderingly, even gloriously awful. You just can't convince anyone under the age of 25 that this was actually the real deal back in the early 00's.
It's so bafflingly absurd that I cannot help but to respect it. And what better way to respect an album as raunchy and brash as this one than to give it the one star it's daring you to give it? As mr. Durst would put it: "fuck you and your fucking mum!"
17 likes
The Associates
3/5
A certified freaky album. And by that I mean 70% ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐๐, and 30% ๐๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐.
5 likes
Kate Bush
5/5
All the magic you believed in as a child is real, and this music is the proof.
5 likes
Electric Light Orchestra
4/5
If you look up the word 'Fun' in the dictionary, you'll be shown a picture of this album cover.
5 likes
Slayer
2/5
I find it intriguing how metal is, much more than any other genre of music, an island of its own. A lot of metal is exclusively listened to by metalheads, and reversely, a lot of metalheads exclusively listen to metal.
Now I am most definitely not a metalhead, and as such, this music all sounds like the following to me: fast but unoriginal guitar riff - juvenile lyrics about death and/or christianity - formulaic guitar solo that sounds the exact same as all the ones that preceded it - back to singing - end. Clearly these guys really know their ways around their instruments, but the songs all sound tiringly homogenous and devoid of any authentic emotion to me, poor non-metalhead.
I guess the world's simply divided into two groups of people: those who can identify with the phrase - as the top review so eloquently puts it - "FUCKING SLAYERRRR", and those who can't.
2 likes
1-Star Albums (4)
All Ratings
Frank Sinatra
3/5
Miles Davis
4/5
Siouxsie And The Banshees
5/5
The Police
3/5
3/5
3/5
Beatles
3/5
SZA
3/5
Milton Nascimento
5/5
Bruce Springsteen
3/5
Gene Clark
2/5
Pixies
5/5
Roxy Music
4/5
Elliott Smith
5/5
Prince
5/5
The perfect distillation of hedonistic fun, and a non-stop party that somehow doesn't let up even once for 70 whole minutes.
Amy Winehouse
3/5
Alice In Chains
2/5
I can definitely see why people would like this a lot, but the sludgy, grungy sound permeating through the entire album really isn't for me.
Tina Turner
3/5
I could really have done without all the covers, but the highlights go *just* hard enough for this to edge or to three stars.
David Bowie
4/5
The Young Rascals
2/5
If by "groovy" they meant "bland, unobtrusive and utterly inoffensive", they were spot on.
Joni Mitchell
4/5
Dr. John
3/5
Surprisingly tame for the way it presents itself. Dr John often ends up sounding more like an off-beat but ultimately gentle character from a cartoon rather than an actual voodoo doctor. The music's pretty chill though.
David Holmes
3/5
A collection of funky and well-crafted beats; it's just a shame that most of the songs don't really change or evolve all that much and often run on for a minute or two too long. It's still pretty neat background music though.
Pixies
4/5
Herbie Hancock
4/5
Yes
4/5
Mudhoney
2/5
If I had been a teenager seeing them live in 1990, this might well have been completely groundbreaking. Listening to this in my bedroom in 2024, however, I cannot help but to wish I was listening to a bunch of other bands instead, all of which did a similar thing but better.
Harry Nilsson
3/5
POV: Your uncle, who considers himself 'the funny guy', wakes up one lazy sunday morning and decides to whip out some silly, McCartney-esque songs. The result is tolerable, occasionally even pretty good, but most of all just kind of pointless.
Kate Bush
5/5
All the magic you believed in as a child is real, and this music is the proof.
Violent Femmes
4/5
Guys will hear a record full of energetic and sloppily played acoustic punk songs full of frustration and just think "hell yeah"
Dusty Springfield
1/5
Just as an experiment, I listened to all these songs followed directly by the originals being covered. My findings: not only do these versions add nothing whatsoever to the source material, every single one of them is also inferior in terms of sound, arrangement and personality.
Really, you could listen to a compilation album of the original tracks and be much better of. How this got to occupy one of the precious 1001 places in this list is completely beyond me.
Sister Sledge
3/5
It's Chic being Chic except it isn't Chic except it secretly really is just Chic. Pretty funky.
Jethro Tull
4/5
They do the shouty flute thing over pseudo-medieval folk tunes and I clap my hands and say 'more! more!'
The Kinks
5/5
Wherein Ray Davies decides to show the world he's the master of writing incredibly catchy yet intricate pop vignettes 15 times in a row. Seriously, this thing just does not miss; it's one of the most consistently fun 40 minutes you can possibly have.
Elvis Presley
3/5
Arrested Development
2/5
Recommended for:
- old hippies who get sentimental when someone says "we just to need to, like, unite humankind, you know"
- hip hop fans anxiously pondering what to show to their grandma who just asked to be shown some of their music
- people who REALLY like Sly and the Family Stone samples
Slade
1/5
I'm all for some good ol' Dumb Fun Rock now and then, but this just isn't even remotely Fun, leaving the Dumb part to stick out like a very sore thumb.
Little Richard
3/5
Sure, the whole album is just Little Richard doing his one thing, but he does that one thing with enough power and conviction to earn himself a solid three stars.
John Coltrane
4/5
Jeru The Damaja
3/5
Jeru isn't fooling me. He's not a gangster, he's just a big ol' goofball. He may be rapping about his unparalleled skills, breaking backs, blowing up the World Trade Centre and most definitely not being a misogynist, but deep down he's really just a goofball.
The Associates
3/5
A certified freaky album. And by that I mean 70% ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐๐, and 30% ๐๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐.
Bob Marley & The Wailers
3/5
Reggea might well be the ultimate 'easy to love, easier to ignore' genre out there. Bob Marley proves both of these statements here: the former on the first half, the latter on the second half.
Cornershop
3/5
Dolly Parton
3/5
Even a jaded country skeptic like myself will readily admit that Dolly Parton has an incredible voice full of personality. But is that enough to justify a mix of alright upbeat tracks and totally uninspired country waltzes? Kind of, actually.
Queen
4/5
Sinead O'Connor
4/5
I was fully expecting an alright album by a one-hit wonder. Instead, I got an album full of surprisingly personal, varied and especially powerful songs. A great surprise all around.
Hookworms
3/5
I'm convinced that Robert Dimery has listened to only 10 albums since 2017, and every single one automatically gained a spot on this list.
I mean, this is a perfectly alright record with some interesting and even pretty accomplished production, albeit with a definite lack of distinct personality and purpose. It's kind of cool as an underappreciated project, but how that got it its spot on the list as opposed to all those other great, missing albums from the same year is nothing short of perplexing.
Mott The Hoople
3/5
Discount David and the Bowies is still more fun than most other bands
A Tribe Called Quest
4/5
Fleetwood Mac
4/5
John Cale
4/5
It has taken me quite a few listens to get what's going on here. At first, it kind of seemed to float in the middle of nothing, but once it clicked I finally realised just what a peculiar, creative and charming little album this is. It doesn't jump out at you; instead, it forces you give your own meaning to it.
The Flaming Lips
4/5
Bittersweet whimsy may be a pretty niche style of music, but the Flaming Lips are the undisputed kings of it. I'll always see The Soft Bulletin as their real masterpiece, but even the somewhat more streamlined songs of Yoshimi manage to simultaneously bring a tear to your eye and a smile to your face.
Pantera
2/5
So blatantly, right-in-your-face manly and stupid that it's actually kind of funny. Makes me think of a caveman repeatedly hitting himself in the face with a club. Then, during the ballad at the end, he stares up at the sun and goes "maybe... Grok no have to hit self...". Alas, he goes right back to whacking shit right after.
Anyway, I really didn't care for the majority of this album, but they're so committed to the bit, plus their riffs are just solid enough that I just can't get myself to give these poor troglodytes only one star.
George Harrison
4/5
Who would have thought that a Beatles-related project could be called underappreciated, or least not talked about enough? This is fantastic stuff, and shows George to be a great songwriter and magnanimous, deep soul. Match that with the endless cast of guest musicians and Spector's warm, full production and you've got yourself an absolute classic. There's so many great tracks, that with every listen a new favourite stands out to me.
Had this been trimmed down some 20-30%, (mostly the third disc) this would have been a five star album for me; being as it is, it will receive four stars and an honourary position in my Autumn Albums collection.
Sufjan Stevens
5/5
Man, what an unfair place this world is. Take this album for example.
Not only does Sufjan show prove himself to be an incredibly skilled songwriter of delicate melodies; not only is he a masterful and creative arranger; not only does he have the voice of an angel; not only can he pull off a grand-to-the-point-of-seeming-absurd concept seamlessly; but he also infuses every last track with such a wide range of emotion that each song here could make you cry for an entirely different reason.
Leave some for the rest of us, Big Soof.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
3/5
Me after two songs: oh boy does this slap, I am never going to get tired of this sound
Me after five songs: okay maybe I am getting a little tired of this sound
Elton John
4/5
Where Elton John does what he does best: writing piano rock odysseys and being utterly inconsistent. I mean, you've got some absolute gold in tracks like Bennie And The Jets and Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, but then you've got tracks like Jamaica Jerk-Off and Dirty Little Girl which feel like mildly amusing b-sides at best.
Belle & Sebastian
3/5
The Temptations
4/5
Who would have thought that everyone's favourite clean boys could be funky like that? On all three tracks of the A-side they give the biggest names like Sly and Funkadelic a real run for their money.
The B-side is unfortunately, as most people will agree, a bit of letdown after the exhilarating first side. But hey, they're still some very solid, above average soul tracks, so I'll take it.
Nico
3/5
A strange record for sure. Nico has a rather unique and - as many a reviewer has been eager to point out - not very traditionally pleasant voice. This makes all the ballads feel especially odd; they're very pretty, especially These Days, but not because of Nico.
But you know which song DOES work because of Nico? It Was A Pleasure Then, arguably the best song on this album. This is where Nico really shines, she whispers and wails like a banshee and it's all so eerie and evocative. This is also just a taste of what's to come on her next few records, which in my opinion do a much better job at highlighting Nico's qualities.
The Triffids
2/5
Props to this list for containing some more obscure names outside the cast of usual suspects, but this one was just a bit of a nothing burger for me. The atmosphere just stays pretty neutral and non-descript the whole time, the melodies aren't particularly catchy or interesting and the vocals are pretty lacking in personality. Overall it's just so safe and unremarkable, that I'm sure I'll have entirely forgotten about this album's existence in a few months time.
Animal Collective
5/5
There is truly is nothing quite like Animal Collective. This album may seem experimental, artsy, dense and complex - and I mean, yeah, it kind of is all that - but in its core, it's just a raw expression of childlike energy and imagination.
You either love it or hate it; and personally, I could get lost in the swirly, layered synths of these songs every single day of my life and die a happy man.
Dire Straits
3/5
Alright, I've got to admit, I was wrong. I have a pretty large bias against Dire Straits, probably because they just seem the ultimate band for middle-aged, middle-class men living dull lives and whose greatest hobby it is to say "they don't make 'em like they used to anymore".
But you know what - this one's actually pretty good. I'm sorry for ever doubting you, mr. Knopfler. You're not just a gifted guitarist making the most milquetoast rock music on earth; you've proven here that you're actually capable of crafting songs which are not only accessible to everyone ever, but also pretty good. And even if that music may not be exactly to my tastes, it is still a feat to be respected.
Talking Heads
4/5
Echo And The Bunnymen
3/5
Imagine post-punk. Now imagine "icy, anxious, slightly psychedelic post-punk". Now make it ten songs. Good job, you just imagined exactly what this album sounds like.
The atmosphere, the voice, the guitar sounds, it's all there - but it's all just a bit run-of-the-mill, y'know?
Sade
4/5
Music so sweet to the ears that it will instantly convert any smooth soul skeptic into a believer.
Amy Winehouse
4/5
The vocals, the production, the songwriting, the relatability, it's all there; you're not getting your classic pop any better than this.
Venom
2/5
Just a bunch of silly guys doing silly stuff, even if they would have liked you to believe otherwise. I didn't have much fun with it at all, but clearly they did, so that counts for something.
Alice Cooper
2/5
I certainly did not expect Alice Cooper to be so glammy and quirky - at multiple parts in this album, it even reminded me of bands like Mott the Hoople. Kind of makes me wish he had fully gone for the glam route, instead of the campy hard rock route that he takes just as often.
David Bowie
3/5
1/5
Yeah, this is awful, but you didn't need me to tell you that. But whatever you do, do not let that fact discourage you from listening to this - this is without a doubt an album you SHOULD listen to before you die. It's not just awful; it's uniquely, bewilderingly, even gloriously awful. You just can't convince anyone under the age of 25 that this was actually the real deal back in the early 00's.
It's so bafflingly absurd that I cannot help but to respect it. And what better way to respect an album as raunchy and brash as this one than to give it the one star it's daring you to give it? As mr. Durst would put it: "fuck you and your fucking mum!"
The Beau Brummels
2/5
What a snoozefest. It's almost impressive how they managed to make an entire album where absolutely nothing happens.
The Cure
4/5
Man, this one was I don't know how close to being five stars. Well actually, I do know pretty much how close: about 25 minutes away. The atmosphere and emotion in all these tracks is second to none, but it just keeps and keeps going. If this had been the best 50 minutes instead of the entire 75 minutes (that's 33%!!!), it would have been near perfect. As it is, it will have to do with an honorary four stars.
Quicksilver Messenger Service
3/5
It is a rule of nature that nobody likes guitar noodling, apart from the noodlers themselves. But you know what, I actually kind of dug this. That can only mean that it was in fact me who recorded this album; all despite never having touched an electric guitar in my life. For that feat alone, this album deserves three stars in my book.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
4/5
Sheryl Crow
3/5
This one's going straight to my 'people pleasing' playlist. It's kind of catchy, but not too catchy; it's kind of interesting, but not too interesting; it's kind of sonically present, but not too sonically present. The kind of music anyone can appreciate, but few will actually love.
Big Brother & The Holding Company
4/5
Honestly, I think that if Janis Joplin had been replaced by some random guy off the streets, the band would have held up well enough for this to still a pretty good record. Now imagine how good this is WITH the inclusion of Joplin's powerhouse vocals.
Paul Simon
4/5
Gillian Welch
3/5
Not an easy one for sure. The songs are slow, trudging and wistful, all with a dark and dissonant undertone and heavy traditional stylings. There is an undeniable, melancholic beauty buried underneath the scratched surface of these songs, but you really have to work for it. And honestly, I'm not sure if I'm built for that; especially when it comes to the 15-minute closing track.
Joan Armatrading
3/5
Dagmar Krause
2/5
Feel like pure shit, wish I was listening to [any album from the Rock in Opposition movement, including but not limited to Henry Cow, Slapp Happy and Art Bears] instead.
Various Artists
3/5
This album is not only christmas music, it IS christmas. It's warm and cozy, and after two days you're pretty much done with it, until you're having a blast with it once again the next year.
Missy Elliott
3/5
I imagine this album was recorded in a hazy room filled to the brim with damp smoke, people lounging back in their lazy chairs - all posed exactly as instructed by Missy Elliott on the album cover - with just a hint of ennui in the air. The evening is fiercely laid-back, stories are being flung around hinting at deeper, undisclosed feelings but you find yourself just nodding along since your brain is bobbing like a balloon anyway.
When the night eventually ends, you find yourself outside in the cold again. You're filled with a fuzzy sense of contentment, but you can't shake the feeling that time has just stood still for the past - you don't even know how many - hours and it starts to creep up on you just how little you have been doing the entire day.
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
2/5
There's nothing particularly bad about this I can point towards, but all of it is just so safe and mild, that it ends up feeling a bit spineless.
Electric Light Orchestra
4/5
If you look up the word 'Fun' in the dictionary, you'll be shown a picture of this album cover.
Dirty Projectors
4/5
David Bowie
5/5
Two for the price of one: not only do you get a wildly original, weird pop album, but also a great atmospheric suite that somehow fits in perfectly with the other half. By the time one side is over, you'll want to go right back to the other side, until you realise you've played the album five times in a row.
Fun Lovin' Criminals
2/5
Before listening I expected this to be the hip hop equivalent of Smash Mouth, and I wasn't entirely wrong. I kind of wish they would have done away with the faux gangster thing entirely and just leaned in on the fun, laid-back vibes, which is where this album excels. It has its moments and is entirely harmless, but it doesn't feel very 1001-worthy at all.
Kraftwerk
4/5
If you listen closely, you can hear that beneath the cold, metallic bleeps and bloops of these tracks, there is a very human heart pumping very human blood.
Shuggie Otis
4/5
So who was going to tell me that this is secretly one of the best soul/funk albums of the 70s, if not ever? Well, this list I guess. Robert Dimery, you have been absolved of your sins for now.
Count Basie & His Orchestra
4/5
The Stooges
4/5
Who would have thought that using a celesta on a raw and powerful album titled Raw Power would actually work like a charm?
Super Furry Animals
3/5
I bet 8-year old me would have loved to skip all the slow tracks and run around the house to the fast tracks.
Current me, however, is mostly just interested in checking out the rest of their discography, seeing as their later albums seem to be held in higher esteem. And indeed, this album most of all sounds like a promise of what's to come.
Led Zeppelin
4/5
Early Led Zeppelin can simply do no wrong. On this one, they deliver all the punches from their first two albums, but now with more folk and less blues rock - a great win for me, someone who really quite likes folk and really quite dislikes blues rock.
Ian Dury
3/5
Recommended for British geezers, self-aware perverts or - preferably - both.
New York Dolls
3/5
A campy, glammy party that's really quite fun until you realise they really only have a single trick up their sleeves, and they will be performing it 11 times in a row.
George Jones
2/5
I'm pretty sure that if you typed in "classic country ballad" in a music generation AI, you'd get something indistinguishable from 80% of these songs. I'm afraid George's voice is really the only saving grace on this album for me.
The Allman Brothers Band
3/5
You know, I can really see how this would be some kind of holy bible for fans of jammy blues rock. But man, that person most certainly is not me. Everything just ended up blending together into an 80-minute, homogenous mush. Definitely not unpleasant, but not something I ever see myself returning to.
John Lee Hooker
4/5
I've got to admit, I used to be a certified blues hater. But John Lee Hooker's got exactly what I miss in most blues rock: some incredible, undeniable soul. The features are admittedly a bit all over the place, but that soul just keeps shining through. Mr. Hooker, you have managed to convert a certified blues hater into a certified blues agnostic.
ZZ Top
2/5
One star for each hombre, except minus one star because this is largely a boring-ass, generic blues rock album.
Nick Drake
4/5
The perfect album for a quiet yet comfortable autumn afternoon. As most people would agree, this may not quite be Drake at his peak, but regardless these are still some warm, lush folk songs with great songwriting inviting you to daydream along.
Rod Stewart
3/5
A pretty great folk rock album and a pretty mediocre rock 'n roll album. I don't I would have minded if this entire album had been just the acoustic instruments.
The Yardbirds
4/5
A wildly original album. In essence, it's just a blues rock album of course, but with every song Beck manages to throw in something new and unexpected into the mix, be it the odd guitar sounds, implementation of feedback or seasonings of Indian music. It sounds weird and unique for any time period, let alone for 1966.
Elis Regina
4/5
Mr. Dimery gets 5 points taken off his Sin List for introducing me to this superb music, which I most likely would never have encountered anywhere else. However, he gets 2 Sin Points right back for including a random-ass compilation album instead of one of the many beloved, real studio albums by Elis Regina. You were so very close, Robert.
Depeche Mode
4/5
Burning Spear
4/5
Whatever you could wish from reggae music, this album has it all: a deep soulful sound, great vocals, powerful lyrics and - perhaps most importantly - some absolute banger flute parts.
Death In Vegas
3/5
Buddy Holly & The Crickets
3/5
The lyrics are pretty dumb and the songs a bit repetitive, but they basically invented the boyband so you've gotta respect the hustle at least a bit.
LCD Soundsystem
4/5
Small Faces
4/5
After a real knock-out of an opening track, the band reveal themselves to be a troop of jolly gnomes with a real affinity for psychedelics, folk tales and the Kinks. The unabashed whimsy that follows has the potential to kindle even the most jaded of hearts.
Guided By Voices
5/5
In most contexts, 41 minutes isn't a very long time at all, albums included. But within that little, precious amount of time, Guided By Voices sketch up an entire little universe. Like in a kaleidoscope, each vignette offers a glimpse into a different place and time, each with its own ideas, emotions and moods. Still, the album never sounds disjointed or unfocused, the whole thing being held together by its meticulously executed DIY ethos.
Sarah Vaughan
3/5
Solomon Burke
2/5
Solomon sure has some pipes, but man, with the exception of Cry To Me, these songs are just so mind-numbingly predictable and dull. Solomon gets three stars for his performance; the songwriters get 1 star.
My Bloody Valentine
4/5
If Loveless is the sound of a destination reached, then Isn't Anything is the sound of wandering around looking for said destination. Normally I'd say it's a minor sin to be considering albums only as a "precursor" to what's to come, but here I'm tempted to give in, since the experimentation IS the point. Of course, I can't really blame anyone for wanting to skip the road and go straight for the finish line, but then again... where is your childlike sense of discovery?
Plus, this is some pretty great guitar freakery regardless of any destination.
Jimi Hendrix
4/5
At its best, these songs are like the fluid inside a lava lamp, a concoction simply bubbling with energy and always on the brink of exploding into a vibrant, chromatic burst. If the whole thing had been as consistent as the highlights, this would have been possibly the best psychedelic rock album of the entire 60's. But as it is, "album from which multiple of the best psychedelic rock songs ever stem" certainly isn't too shabby a title either.
Common
4/5
I'll always cherish this album for allowing me to listen to some prime Kanye beats without having to listen to Kanye. Well, most of the time, at least.
Slayer
2/5
I find it intriguing how metal is, much more than any other genre of music, an island of its own. A lot of metal is exclusively listened to by metalheads, and reversely, a lot of metalheads exclusively listen to metal.
Now I am most definitely not a metalhead, and as such, this music all sounds like the following to me: fast but unoriginal guitar riff - juvenile lyrics about death and/or christianity - formulaic guitar solo that sounds the exact same as all the ones that preceded it - back to singing - end. Clearly these guys really know their ways around their instruments, but the songs all sound tiringly homogenous and devoid of any authentic emotion to me, poor non-metalhead.
I guess the world's simply divided into two groups of people: those who can identify with the phrase - as the top review so eloquently puts it - "FUCKING SLAYERRRR", and those who can't.
Aretha Franklin
4/5
U2
4/5
U2? You mean the U2 so well-versed in producing spineless, reverb-laden guitar sounds that fit right into a Shell promotion?? Making some real gritty, passionate music with some actual - excuse me, I have to go there - Edge??? Colour me impressed.
Scritti Politti
2/5
The sound effects and production sure have aged like unrefrigerated milk, but in a way that sort of gives this album a weird charm. Nobody makes 'em like this anymore - and even if that's just because nobody *wants* to make records sound like this anymore, it doesn't take away from the fact that this is a unique sounding record.
Sophisticated and smooth one moment, cheesy and saccharine the next, but most of all, listening to this album is an act of musical archaeology.
Lucinda Williams
3/5
Lucinda straddles a very fine line between the personal, alt-country full of character and generic country-rock made for camper commercials. On the one hand, her voice is very distinct; on the other hand, the guitars and drums sound like they come right out of the cookie-cutter box; on the other other hand, the accordeon adds some unique flavour... etc.
Dr. Dre
2/5
Fragile masculinity: the album. I would likely have preferred this album if I didn't speak English, as I could then have just listened to the funky beats instead of having to hear these lyrics with utterly on the nose rhymes and desperately boastful lyrics about crime, large dicks and hating Eazy-E.
Most (white) people I know unfortunately write off all of hip hop as violent non-music; I fully blame this album for that reputation.
Doves
3/5
Pretty nifty when they're going for a more artsy, atmospheric sound, but it loses me a bit when they're doing that mellow, early-2000's post-britpop thing. If their melodic talents had matched their knacks for setting up these spacious, building songs, this might've been a real knock-out.
Butthole Surfers
3/5
A ride through a metal-themed funhouse while being chased by clowns wielding electric guitars. Pretty good stuff.
Ironically though, I do wish this album had been even weirder and more experimental, and less leaning on the metal spoofing.
Maxwell
3/5
Smooth as silk, sweet like honey, seductive like, eh... well, you get the point.
Arcade Fire
4/5
The Smashing Pumpkins
4/5
Imagine you're an overly ambitious band that's just released a collection of refined, well-crafted and surprisingly popular songs - in this case Siamese Dream. What's the next step from there? Why of course, a regular two-discer wouldn't cut it; the occasion called for a two-hour monolith, baby.
But is it a monolith, though? Looking at the first six tracks, the album sets itself up to be non-stop punches, catchier than ever but without sacrificing that alternative core. Looking at the final five tracks, however, you see a completely different record: a White Album-esque sprawling hodgepodge of genre-hopping tracks.
Now both types of double albums have the potential to be great, the non-stop hitters and the kaleidoscopic collections of eclecticism. Where on that scale does this album lie? Honestly... I'm not sure. Somewhere right in the middle of the album, it seems to take an unexpected turn from one end of the spectrum to the other, making sure that it's both and neither at the same time.
It's a strange album. Its extensive runtime is both a core part of its identity and a major flaw. The songs are both varied and a bit too safe, really.
But hey, it gave the world some of the best rock tracks of all time - even just for containing 1979, this thing deserves three stars.
Haircut 100
2/5
I kept imagining a bunch of suburban mums teaching their two-year olds the stiff dance moves they learnt in zumba class the previous week. The word 'groovy' is used a lot.
Kind of cute in that context, but in all other contexts this is just a discount Talking Heads with some predictable horn sections.
Fiona Apple
4/5
Bad Brains
3/5
Morrissey
3/5
Morrissey, you charming bastard. Even without Johnny Marr's jangly, masterfully woven guitar lines, even when singing dumb lines like 'you're the one for me, fatty' and 'We're the last British people you will ever know', you're just so very damn charming. Not all the tracks are of equal quality, but time and time again Morrissey and his musing voice are a joy to listen to.
Mekons
4/5
A group of Brits doing stripped-down, country-inspired punk with fiddles sounds like an absurd idea. And frankly, it is, but this album is all the more punk for it.
Elvis Presley
3/5
Elvis is of course a very easy target: a pretty boy with a decent voice doing slightly inferior covers of songs by black artists (illustrated no better than through Tutti Frutti here), what's not to hate? But you know, this album really does have a certain something. Be it the seductive echoing, be it the non-stop catchiness, be it Elvis' suave voice, you just can't help but to raise a faint smile and admit "alright, maybe this one isn't so bad".
Ali Farka Tourรฉ
3/5
Dusk is setting. You're sitting on a Malian porch, next to you is Ali in his laid-back rocking chair - in just the same position as on the cover. As the sun sets, he keeps plucking warm, mellow tones out of his guitar strings. On another day or on another whim, he might have been playing a functionally interchangeable set of songs and tones, but all you know is that it's been a good day, and this music serves a good ending to a good day.
The Smiths
4/5
Portishead
5/5
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
4/5
Making a two-hour album consistently engaging is pretty tough work, let alone for a country album, a genre not exactly shy of formulaic and interchangeable sounds and song structures.
That just goes to show how good this music is, making you want to go "Yee Haw!!!" at its lively banjoes, fiddles and harmonicas for pretty much its entire runtime.
3/5
The purest distillation of punk; the punk to not only begin, but also end all punks. But honestly, within that statement lies exactly the problem I have with this album: you cannot go anywhere with this style of punk. Once you've had the first few songs... that's kind of it. The point has been made, the politics have been spewed, the punk has been punked. Since there's nowhere left to go, the rest of the album feels a bit like an empty echo of the first half. Even John Lydon must have realised this, when only a year later he formed the much more musically ambitious Public Image Ltd.
This truest of true punks could only exist for the duration of a flash. Or rather, for 3 minutes and 19 seconds, the exact duration of God Save the Queen.
4/5
This seems to be one for the real hardcore Dylan fans, but you know what? Really, this one's for the moderate Dylan fans too.
When the band kicks in on the second half, it's like a moody cloud breaking open to let the sun through, and I'd say it's worth listening to if just for that revelation.
Iron Maiden
3/5
Koffi Olomide
2/5
For fans of cheesy 90's production (complete with tacky midi sounds), African rhythms and the French language. Robert, mate, you might have messed up with these African album picks, clearly there must be better stuff out there.
Lauryn Hill
4/5
Frank Sinatra
3/5
It's really just the exact same song 15 times in a row, but it's all endearing enough to get a pass.
Talking Heads
5/5
It goes like this: you put the probably metaphorical needle on this record and you are immediately greeted by strange sounds all around. The guitars are erratic, the bass all over the place, the singing barely sounds human and worst of all, you're not even sure what *that* sound's even supposed to be. But while you're trying to figure out how to count along to the beat, your body has already understood the assignment - you notice it has started moving along. It is then that you start to realise that what you are listening to is in fact a wildly creative, uniquely groovy and even cathartic piece of music, and that's just the first track. When you realise the rest of the bunch is just as good, if not even better, you know it's time to give this album a five-star rating.
Yes, you heard that right, that's an imperative. Sure, music's subjective and all that, but if you dare give this album less than four stars, just know that you *will* be found.
Beth Orton
3/5
Pretty cool when it leans into the folky, electronic side; pretty generic when it leans into the singer-songwriter side.
Digital Underground
2/5
I imagine that if in the 90's a bunch of guys with limited musical experience were tasked with creating a Bart Simpson hip hop album within four days, the result would sound an awful lot like this. Impressively immature.
Simon & Garfunkel
4/5
Simon & Garfunkel are always difficult to put a finger on. Sometimes you get soft-spoken, harmonised guitar ballads about Robert Frost; sometimes you get Simon's signature narrative-driven compostions, strongly influenced by the regional music of some random country across the world; and sometimes they even give the Beatles a run for their money.
Here, you get exactly that familiar hodgepodge, but only the very best of it, like picking all the best parts out of a salad. Perhaps not the most coherent album of all time, but who cares when it's all such a joy to listen to.
The Auteurs
3/5
A Tribe Called Quest
4/5
Michael Jackson
4/5
You know, in its essence, this album really is just a thrown-together collection of kind of cheesy 80's songs.
However, with pretty much half of these songs being the cultural phenomenons they are (and the remaining few songs keeping up the quality pretty well), it somehow completely trancends that category. These songs work their formulas so well that they almost feel like a given fact, like musical axioms; and when you hear these songs, you don't hear RnB, pop, rock or anything, you hear Thriller.
A true sui generis, not through subversion, but through perfecting the craft of the groovy pop song with the potential to appeal to anyone and their grandma's goldfish.
OutKast
3/5
In true White Album fashion, this is a sprawling, genre-hopping behemoth - complete with a jittery breakbeat take on Coltrane - somehow with *even* less collaboration between its members than the Beatles managed to scrape together. The high points are undeniable, but man, songs like She's Alive are going straight to my musical blacklist.
Listen to it once, throw your favourite tracks into a playlist, then put it back on the shelf as the repurposed dust collecter it's now become.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
3/5
aka "I Want You and Other Assorted Okay Songs"
Elvis Costello
2/5
C'mon now, Elvis, we all know you can do better than this. You were supposed to *border* on the obnoxious, not land smack in the middle of it. Should have left that circus organ in the attic, buddy.
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
4/5
The quintessential boomer album. You could be 14 years old for all I care, but if this is your favourite album, you're really just a boomer deep down. A chill kind of boomer with good taste, but a boomer all the same.
Aerosmith
3/5
Like ordering a lone slab of meat for dinner, no seasoning safe a modest pinch of salt. It does the job and it sure knows to fill an empty stomach, but everyone else at the restaurant will be glad to notice that at least they're not the dullest person in the room.
Queen
5/5
The way I see things, there are three great groups of western pop music which have that special Midas Touch where everything they touch is instantly transmuted into something valuable. The third place goes to ABBA and first place to the Beatles, leaving the second place for, of course, Queen.
So 'valuable' should be taken very broadly here. All three bands have some certified stinkers - hell, even this very album has I'm in Love With My Car on it - but that's not what I'm talking about. Instead, think of it this way: if some fun could be had out of this song during a karaoke night after approximately 2-4 drinks or on a roadtrip where the bumping of the car has lulled you to a state of semi-delirious half-slumber, then it's valuable. If a song manages to leave an emotional footprint of any kind other than total tedium, it's valuable. Of course the vehicle-coveting song is stupid, but when asked about it in five years, you will surely remember it being there, or the time you and your sleep-drunk friends bellowed along to it on that aforementioned roadtrip. At their peak, Queen just couldn't create an unimpressive, forgettable song if they wanted to, regardless of the quality.
I guess what I'm saying is, this album is of course imperfect. But boy, does pretty much every single one of its (many) musical ideas fill my stomach with pure joy. Every time they hit one of those four-part aaaah harmonies, I smile. Every time Freddie starts a Music Hall-esque piano rag, I smile. Every time Brian May does that high nyouuung thing on the guitar, I smile. Some music is made for pondering, chin-stroking, catharsis, bewilderment etc. etc., but this music is made for making you feel like a balloon filled with childlike excitement; and it's second to none in that regard.
The Black Keys
2/5
How considerate of them to make an album just for all the Volkswagen PR team members of the world <3
Flamin' Groovies
3/5
It's a bunch of white boys doing sleazy rock 'n roll and blues. You already know exactly what you're getting, down to the very last sloppy note. But hey, predictability can also mean solidity, as it does here.
Tortoise
3/5
Sounds like a great band doing their just alright, routine warm-up. But hey, it's still far more interesting than many of the rock 'n roll albums on here, so it's getting a solid three stars.
Cat Stevens
4/5
It's easy to imagine Cat Stevens here as some wise old hermit figure, bestowing his songs upon us like a minstrel. In reality though, he was still a young man at a mere 22 years old. So my take is this: that bearded fellow on the cover, merrily laughing along with the children yet with an air if spiritual authority, as if he might fade away into a cloud of vapour at any moment, that's who Cat Stevens really wanted to be. I.e., even his musical persona reflects his deep longing for that certain higher *something* - call it enlightenment if you will. And perhaps that's exactly what makes this music resonate so well, that constant sensation of yearning for a higher purpose after having seen only glimpses of it from beneath the crack of the door.
But then again, maybe it's just the very good songwriting mixed with that warm and pleasant instrumentation. Who can really tell?
Massive Attack
4/5
Ella Fitzgerald
3/5
Willie Nelson
3/5
Willie Nelson goes jazz - and better yet, it works??? This is peak comfy material. The songs may be a bit meandering, but you're getting a lifetime supply of ambiance for all your candlelit dinners and slow dances under the milky way.
Rage Against The Machine
5/5
Cheap Trick
4/5
Quintessential power pop music. It's got all the power you'd want - not only from the band itself, but even the audience play their part flawlessly - along with earworms for weeks. They don't let up for even second, even on the nearly 9-minute song. Very infectious stuff.
Antony and the Johnsons
3/5
Cream
3/5
If any musical time and genre are associated with not playing it by the rules, it's psychedelic rock in 1967. However, Cream clearly didn't get that memo when they just created a bunch of decent pop songs played with a fuzzy guitar.
Linkin Park
2/5
Edgy enough to split hairs with, but the emotion's clearly 100% authentic so it gets a pass. It's a surprisingly solid metal record (props to Chester's vocals, the real highlight here) and an unsurprisingly shoddy rap record. Of all the angsty music 14-year old you could have been listening to, there's far worse out there, but also far better.
The Clash
5/5
An hour of non-stop fun, varied, catchy, energetic, well-crafted, deep, personality-laden, witty, unique, karaoke-suitable songs. What more could you ask for from an album?
Saint Etienne
3/5
A collection of sunny tracks that easily go in one ear, and just as easily out the other. If you don't actively make it a task to focus on it, you'll most likely forget you're even listening to it for like 2/3rds of the duration, right until a particularly catchy hook fades in.
Bob Dylan
4/5
The Dave Brubeck Quartet
4/5
Quite possibly the best crowd-pleaser jazz has to offer. Savvy enough to excite uninitiated, accessible enough to soothe the uninterested and technical enough to provoke some good chin strokes from the snobs.
Fugees
3/5
Air
4/5
A perfectly eerie, mysterious and nostalgic soundtrack for an eerie, mysterious and nostalgic film.
Tracy Chapman
3/5
Those first three tracks are peak mom-core, but afterwards it delves right into very average, very 80's mom-core.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
3/5
I've come to the conclusion that Costello's sarccasm-made-catchy brand of songs only really clicks when they're either really catchy, or really powerfully sarcastic. Unfortunately, even Elvis is not very strong at his own game, leaving about half of each of his albums to be full of just-alright duds, only occasionally landing a real blow.
Abdullah Ibrahim
3/5
Judging from the title and its country of origin, you'd expect this to be one of Dimery's attempts at proving he's heard music outside the western tradition. Instead, you get a very "classic", USA-inspired jazz sound that could almost have been a relic from the early 60's, safe from its anachronistic crisp sound quality. It's no bad time by any means, but if you're going to have, like, approximately six albums representing the entire continent of Africa... is this really the one you want to be picking?
The Isley Brothers
4/5
Kings of Leon
2/5
You learn something new every day. Today, for instance, I learned that before doing mediocre indie rock, the Leon boys were doing even more mediocre southern rock.
Wilco
3/5
The Chemical Brothers
5/5
Absolutely grimy, relentless beats that will get your head bopping, your ears ringing and the rest of your body violently sweating. And once all that is done, you get to nod away to the much more mellow psychedelic treat that is the second half.
Stevie Wonder
5/5
Mike Oldfield
4/5
I think what really gives this music its charm is that you can practically *feel* a young musician's foray into the unknown here. Mike doesn't come across as a veteran composer here, but instead as a wunderkind running amok in his musical toy room, leering at his arsenal of guitars and keyboards with wide-eyed excitement. In every odd arrangement choice, in every sudden shift to a next section, in every introduction of yet another musical motif, you know that you are witnessing the authentic joy of exploration and listening to someone chasing the promises of his wild imagination.
Mike Oldfield would of course grow to become a more accomplished composer creating, in my opinion, more accomplished albums. However, the sense of adventure on display here is what keeps so many of us returning to these pieces of music time after time.
Van Halen
3/5
Like sitting at one of those faux-chic Asian wok restaurants and watching the chef perform an entire pyrospectacle, flying vegetables and shrimps getting beheaded mid-air included, just to get you your noodles on your plate. It's flashy, it's entertaining, but like, surely he doesn't *actually* need to be doing all that, right?
Muddy Waters
2/5
Man, I must be missing the blues gene or something. Everything here is played neatly by the rules of the Blues Book, not a note more or less. Listening to 15 seconds of any of these tracks allows you to perfectly predict just what you'll be listening to for the next four or so minutes, down to the very last formulaic cadence. So really, why even bother listening beyond those opening notes?
And sure, I get it, Muddy Waters basically invented that very formula. But then again, I'm not going to be thanking Ronald McDonald or whoever for being the first to invent cheap fast food either.
Depeche Mode
5/5
Top-notch synth pop production AND fantastic, catchy yet nuanced songwriting AND a compellingly dark and romantic atmosphere AND three of not only the biggest but also best hits of the 90's, all for the price of one? Now that's what I call a five star album.
Emmylou Harris
4/5
Three things I've learned from this list:
- Most country just isn't very good at all
- Most alt-country, on the other hand, is brilliant
- Emmylou Harris has one of the greatest voices I've ever heard
Destiny's Child
2/5
An album with 30 songwriters, 22 producers, 14 mixers, 22 engineers, 3 arrangers, 3 keyboardists, 4 guitarists, 4 stylists/make-up artists (!) and 1 vocal consultant.
Don't get me wrong, none of these people did a bad job by any means (well, barring the lyrics for Nasty Girl perhaps). But boy, does it sound like none of them ever talked to each other about what they were actually creating for longer than approximately 30 seconds.
The xx
3/5
At its best when it's presenting you with small, minimalist and frankly pretty cute indie pop songs. At its worst when it sounds like they plundered the sound bank of some multinational firm's PR team, missing only the voice-over ensuring you that this corporation believes in a better future for us *and* our children.
Elastica
3/5
The Beta Band
3/5
Judging from the album cover, I was kind of hoping to hear some NES-inspired, ultra nerdy ADHD-fest involving a whole bunch of chiptune; now that would have shaken this list up. Instead I got a kinda interesting, kinda quirky indie rock record, a bit like a Ween lite. I can't really complain in the end, although the overall sound definitely outshines the actual songwriting.
David Bowie
4/5
Pretty brilliant album in its own right, but an especially brilliant album considering what it came right after. *This* is the real sound of Ziggy Stardust both as a character and real person; not rock 'n roll guitars but schizophrenic pianos.
Motรถrhead
4/5
Run-D.M.C.
2/5
Of course the rational part of me knows just how groundbreaking this material was, but in reality, I mostly just hear completely barren beats most 15-year olds could recreate within a couple of minutes in FL studio and vocals that sound like a lame SNL parody of hip hop.
Brian Eno
4/5
Review 1 (the 'objective' one):
I'm so glad this album exists. In a way, it's like a very simple modern painting in a Guggenheim eliciting a plethora of "I could have done that"-s. And they're right, most musicians *could* have done this, yet they didn't. Brian Eno's career had been leading up to this point, and it simply had to be made. And then, once it was out there, the world of electronic music would never be the same, and so many fantastic Ambient releases wouldn't exist without it. 5/5 stars.
Review 2 (the subjective one):
But really though, these aren't very great compositions. They're not very rewarding listens compared to all those other works it inspired; hell, it's not even close to being the best ambient work by Eno himself. The songs run on too long with too little colour, structure and variation, the sound palates are far too limited and those artificial ooh's that sound like cheap keyboard presets get a bit grating. The first track is really quite emotive, but afterwards... you quickly get the point and with every passing minute, that skip buttons seems ever more tempting. 3/5 stars.
Conclusion: Essential yet flawed. 4/5 stars.
R.E.M.
4/5
Peter Frampton
3/5
Buena Vista Social Club
5/5
Every single song on this thing is a stone cold classic. Better yet, every single instrumental line on every single song's a classic.
The amount of warm, fuzzy joy these songs can conjure up is simply unreal; summer hasn't really started until you've put this on in the background, walking around with a cold drink in hand.
Curtis Mayfield
4/5
John Prine
4/5
Deep Purple
4/5
Okay maybe the dads were onto something with this whole rock thing
Bob Dylan
4/5
Can truly beautiful music only come from pain? I don't necessarily think so, but it sure as hell helps a lot.
Like most people on earth, I don't know all that much about Bob Dylan - or maybe I should say about Robert Zimmerman. I know the facts, I know the chronologies, the influences and all that, but I don't know about his true feelings, his secret aspirations, his clandestine desires, his hushed-away heartbreaks. Let alone that I know much about 56-year old Robert, almost 30 years after his much-documented peak in the 60's and early 70's.
Still, this music speaks volumes about the state he must have been in. When I listen to these dreary, longing and almost haunting songs, I imagine an older man, hardened by time, an insomniac. He's sitting in his studio, much like on the album cover, and it's midnight. The weight of the world is pressing on him from all directions, he fears death is imminent and yet he feels to old for acts of grand drama, for petty revenge songs or, really, even crying. Instead, he keeps the storm at bay by producing this: by playing his sultry organs, writing his tormented lyrics and making his dusty vocal cords ramble.
Duke Ellington
4/5
Simon & Garfunkel
4/5
Very pastoral, very cute and very 60's. Paul Simon's songwriting is not quite as iconic as it would later develop to be, but still he rarely misses a beat, be that in the form of pseudo-medieval harmonies or a spot-on Dylan spoof. Heaps of fun and lots of tender, heartwarming material all around.
2/5
Violently 80's stuff. Slap basses, orchestra hits and In The Air Tonight-esque drums galore. It's an amusing artefact of its time, but one that wears out its charm pretty quickly, instead becoming, frankly, quite annoying.
The Smiths
4/5
Morissey et al. were simply unstoppable in their few years of existence. The fact that this album, arguably far less 'essential' than Hatful of Hollow and The Queen is Dead due to its far lower concentration of hits/undeniable classics, is still as unique and enjoyable as it is, stands testament to that claim.
Laibach
4/5
Hawkwind
3/5
Something tells me this would have hit a fair bit harder had I been there live back in '73 after having ingested at least three mystery substances and while dancing along to a woman clad in nothing but phosphorescent body paint.
As it is, I am instead listening to this in my living room while engaged in the riveting act of solving sudokus. The music's still pretty cool, but without the aforementioned scenery, it does undoubtedly start to wear thin after some some 40 minutes of spacin' and rockin'.
Tangerine Dream
4/5
At the risk of sounding like a bona fide philistine: I think that if around the 5 minute mark they had dropped a solid beat, let's say ร la Global Communication, this would have been kind of the sickest thing ever. In its beatless form, however, it's still very evocative and impressive stuff, albeit something I respect a bit more than I actually enjoy it.
Iron Maiden
3/5
A pretty conflicting one. On the one hand, there was simply nothing quite like back in 1980, and once this *was* there, every second metal/hard rock group wanted to be Iron Maiden. On the other hand, viewing this from a perspective of already knowing where the Maidens would be headed afterwards... this kind of is just a watered-down version of that.
That results in a 3/5 stars for me, since I'm too weak-kneed to sway strongly in either direction.
The Zutons
2/5
Michael Jackson
4/5
Those first five tracks are simply untouchable, one of the best parties to ever grace your ears - and mostly animate your hips. The other five are fine, but you'll be so pumped about that A-side that you won't even really notice the step down in quality all that much.
Joni Mitchell
5/5
To have that one-of-a-kind songwriting talent, with that voice, with that poetic flair, with that intellect, with that range of emotional expression, all in one person...
Now that's just simply unfair.
Keith Jarrett
4/5
Earth, Wind & Fire
3/5
Some pretty tight funkin' and some pretty wack balladin'
Ray Price
1/5
The intro made me exclaim 'why is this happening out loud'. Unfortunately, right afterwards the album immediately stops being funny and becomes a very standard affair of boomer country with autopilot instrumentation and lyrics either about moralising or jealousy towards a lost love. Coming off as a real likeable guy, Ray.
Maybe it's just that I'm too much of a European youngster, but I genuinely have a hard time picturing people listening to this stuff unironically.
Carole King
4/5
Carole King is a masterful tunesmith. On this album, she proves this very fact by showing that even in relatively stripped-back form, her songs are some of the most memorable and enjoyable of the entire soul pop genre.
That being said, I sometimes wish this album transcended its being just a collection of very pleasant tunes. The structure isn't all that cohesive, and there aren't any real gut punches - which in large part isn't helped by the kind of generic lyrics. But hey, it's still a very nice ride which will please anyone and their neighbours, so who am I to complain?
Gang Of Four
4/5
Kraftwerk
3/5
Look, I'm a bona fide, incorrigible music nerd. I'd gladly talk for hours about the lineage of the motorik beat to microhouse, I have strong feelings about Faust's best album and I might even get a little teary-eyed when someone recognises the name Klaus Schulze in conversation. Of course, then, do I love Kraftwerk.
But after listening to this album and thinking "yeah yeah we get the point, let's get on with it shall we" at least once per track, I had to take a good long look at myself in the mirror. Did I really love the music of this album, or did I just love its historical significance? Was this anywhere near as exciting as the proto-synthpop of Die Mensch-Maschine or as adventurous as Autobahn? Is this album more than a bunch of 30-second loops that are initially intriguing but then go on to well outstay their welcome?
I'm sorry, Kraftwerk, but I had to be honest with myself. You're still getting three stars out of sheer respect, but on worse days you might have come close to a mere two.
Songhoy Blues
4/5
LTJ Bukem
3/5
3/5
The rockabilly-meets-punk thing starts out very fresh and fun, but after about 7 tracks of it, you start to realise it's not quite *that* fun after all.
fIREHOSE
3/5
Some very interesting genrehopping going on here. Just imagine how good this album would have been if the songwriting had been more than just decent as well.
Jack White
3/5
Jack White's energy and iconic voice are nothing short of contagious and everything he touches is at least solid, but most of these songs seem to be in a rather bit of an awkward position between his harder rocking stuff under the Stripes and his later more experimental ventures. Nonetheless, pretty fun stuff.
The Fall
3/5
The Vines
2/5
I'm a bit of a sucker for indie garage punk bullshit, but even I can see that while this activates my neurons to a certain degree, there is just no practically no songwriting, personality or anything at all to grab onto.
David Bowie
4/5
Megadeth
3/5
With albums like these, I can't help but wonder if people like Dave Mustaine realise just how silly their music really is. Songs about pulpy fantasy novels, affected screechy vocals and blindingly flashy guitar solos; it's all fun, impressive even, but also very much a silly affair. Now don't get me wrong, I can most definitely get into some nerdy shenanigans - hell, I listen to Rush, the nerd band to end all nerd bands. But here, you can't shake this feeling that Dave and the crew felt there was some sort of Truth to their rather juvenile takes on warfare, geopolitics and extraterrestrial life.
But then again, when the boys are riffing and shredding like that, should one really care?
Beatles
3/5
Arcade Fire
3/5
In which Arcade Fire do a phenomenal job at recapturing the grand sound of their previous breakout album, but forget to keep the songwriting at an equally stellar level. There are some undeniably good - if not great - songs, but this album clearly stands in the shadow of its older brother.
Derek & The Dominos
3/5
So you're telling me they were capable of writing songs like Layla, but just decided to do formulaic blues stuff? For fun???
Simply unreal.
Talking Heads
3/5
Rahul Dev Burman
4/5
I've listened to a grand total of zero other Bollywood songs, so it's a bit difficult to out this one into context. But all I know is that this is some very eclectic, lively, fun music that doesn't bore for even a second.
Nirvana
4/5
Ministry
4/5
A fun little factoid is that Ministry started life as a synthpop, new wavey band. On the one hand, this might come as a surprise hearing the very unmelodic, rhythmical phrases chucked at you song after song on Psalm 69; but on the other hand, it explains everything about their sound. Ministry were never cut out to do what most other metal bands do: simply write some hard riffs, eject some hard guttural screams and pound some hard blastbeats, what the kids would call "metal AF dude". Instead, you get all the power, aggression and angst of metal - especially a lot of the latter - but wrapped in a package that's not afraid to fundamentally *sound* different. And not just from other metal records, on that part, but from practically any musical material preceding it. For that fact alone, this is getting a favourable review from me. Now if only they'd gone a bit easy on the angst...
Jean-Michel Jarre
4/5
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
3/5
If there's a thin line between genius and insanity, Nick Cave straddles that exact line. Songs like Where the Wild Roses Grow show you the genius side; songs like Stagger Lee and O'malley's Bar show you, for better or worse, the insane side. I suppose one cannot exist without the other.
Stan Getz
3/5
Van Morrison
4/5
This one's going straight to my "ultimate people pleasing music that's actually really good" playlist.
Beyoncรฉ
2/5
Eagles
2/5
My god, these songs are so utterly, profoundly lame that it's almost disturbing. On paper, it's all there, but the whole thing feels so plastic it almost becomes an uncanny valley imitation of human soul and emotions.
The title track is a classic, who am I to deny it - but with each track afterwards, any semblance to the fire that ignites raw creativity and passion fades further and further from view. I'm so glad punk happened the very next year.
Steely Dan
3/5
Beastie Boys
5/5
The absolutely mental sampling would be enough to warrant this album a 5/5 on its own, but then you get phrases like "suckers they come a dime a dozen // when I say dozen, you know what I'm talking about, boyyy" in a song about launching eggs to boot, and you know you're listening to something truly special.
Amazingly invigorating material front to back, and in my opinion the very best of 80's hip hop.
Ice Cube
3/5
Franz Ferdinand
3/5
Absolutely serviceable music for your nostalgic 2000's themed party. Pretty fun even, or at least until you forget it's even really playing about halfway through, once the hits run dry.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
3/5
Crowded House
2/5
Maybe I'm just projecting the Finn brothers' history in Split Enz onto this music, but between the varied keyboard sounds, moderately ambitious song textures and sardonic Costello-like lyrics, it's clear that these guys have their roots in idiosyncratic, colourful pop music. On here, however, the songs have been neutered and seemingly designed for mass appeal enough to lose almost all semblance to creativity, real passion and even personality, instead reaching only mass tolerance.
Funkadelic
4/5
Funkadelic/Parliament could have been the only band(s) in the entire history of funk, and hip hop would still have had enough sampling material to last for decades. Absolutely classic stuff.
Can
5/5
Krautrock: the Beach Episode
Bee Gees
3/5
The ultimate proof that musical talent and ambition does not equal greatness - although it can't be denied it does help a fair bit.
The Beach Boys
3/5
A perfect middle point between early and middle Beach Boys, with the predictable structures of their early years filled in with superb harmonies.
Kendrick Lamar
4/5
In my opinion, Kendrick's greatest strength is not his lyricism - although he's excellent in that regard too - it's his sense of grandiosity. Almost everything he puts to tape has a certain aura of urge, necessity and, to be honest, even spectacle to it. This album too presents one of the most ambitious and effective narratives ever portrayed in album format, rarely dropping releasing the gas pedal and continuously driving the story and character arc forward.
The only thing holding this music album back for me is, ironically, the musical content. There are fantastic tracks here, the standout being Sing About Me, I'm Dying of Thirst, but at other points, the backing tracks can range from repetitive to overly commercial sounding to even a bit grating. But hey, when you're being served a chronicle such as this one, that shouldn't spoil the fun too much, no?
If only Kendrick would release an album of equally epic scope with consistently jazz, funk and soul-inspired instrumentals approximately 2.5 years later...
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
3/5
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
3/5
Patti Smith
5/5
At this point, I think I'd prefer all my singer-songwriters to have an extensive history in poetry rather than trained singing.
Caetano Veloso
4/5
The songs all blend together just a little, but the strings + percussion + infectious singing combo is sure to deliver you a good time.
The Sugarcubes
3/5
I love Bjรถrk, I love post-punk, I love oddball music, I love strong European accents, so of course I... think this album is just pretty okay.
That one doesn't quite add up, I suppose. Oh well.
Todd Rundgren
5/5
With Something/Anything?, Todd proved he could write soul pop tunes for weeks while donning a blindfold and having his arms tied behind his back. With A Wizard, A True Star, he proved that any combination of sounds is possible and not only can, but *should* go together. The kaleidoscope that is Side A contains such a multitude of colours, that you can make an entire career just copying his wildly imaginative sonic explorations.
Five stars, even if only for inspiring me to be the most creative and relentless version of myself.
Nick Drake
5/5
How does one capture the beauty of the first rays of moonshine breaking through the leaves? How does one capture the solitude of a lone tree on a hill? How does one encapsulate in music that slowly creeping feeling of jotting all your feelings onto paper, in a dark room near the only light source in sight, that feeling somewhere between comfort, melancholy and cosmic grandness that clenches all your guts at once?
How does one not only achieve this, but do it so consistently across 33 minutes?
John Martyn
3/5
If you ever find yourself in a swimming pool in the dark, hours after closing time, wanting to pump some appropriately mellow, aquatic tunes through the cheap speakers: this is the one for you.
T. Rex
3/5
The classic T. Rex sound of boogying guitars, string arrangements and those 'aaaah' backing vocals is always great fun, and this is no exception. But compared to Electric Warrior, there are notably fewer standout tracks and it all blends together a bit.
Wu-Tang Clan
4/5
Calexico
4/5
Apparently I adore mariachi/mexican-flavoured indie rock. The vocals aren't the strongest in the game and the 'regular' indie rock tracks don't have as much personality as their trumpet-driven counterparts, but who cares, the atmosphere of this album draws you into its world like nothing else.
5/5
Radiohead
5/5
Instead of going in yet another completely new direction, like they had been doing for the past 10 years, Radiohead instead make 'just' a really good artsy indie rock album.
But really, this of course isn't 'just' an indie rock album: every idea, every layer is executed with such perfection that it transcends every label and, ironically, ends up being its own and thus completely novel thing after all.
But then again, who cares about novelty etc.; what matters is just how splendidly beautiful these songs are. Weird Fishes, Reckoner, 15 Step, Faust Arp, Jigsaw, they just keep them coming and every song manages to be a complete knock-out.
Arcade Fire
5/5
When I first heard this album at 17 years old, it was like a revelation. I had just gone through my biggest heartbreak yet, I was mortified of my approaching adulthood and I was more emotionally liable than ever. Arcade Fire seemed to embody all these grand feelings of young adulthood in their songs. Deep down, I really wanted to join a band like this. Not a beacon of the classic sex, drugs and rock 'n roll, but a bunch of nerdy multi-instrumentalists singing their hearts out over grandiose instrumentals.
Not much later, I introduced the band to my then-girlfriend, and together we would fantasize about quitting our studies, forfeiting the prospect of futures in some corporate job and setting up a band instead, our very own Arcade Fire 2.0.
In retrospect, I can say that in those last few years of my teens, this was probably my favourite album of all time.
Now it's seven years later. I'm 24 years old, and my opinions have grown a bit more nuanced. I've long realised the flaws of this album: the line between anthemic and melodramatic can be a thin one, the lyrics are oftentimes rather on the nose and for a band consisting of such a diverse cast of musicians, they are not *terribly* creative with their arrangements.
But in reality, I'm also really not that different from that 17 year old that fell in love with this album. I'm still going through new kinds of heartbreak almost every single year, I'm still pretty scared of the future has in store for me, life is still an overwhelming mess and, most of all, I still secretly dream to be part of a band like this. In my reveries, I manage to whip together a troupe of drummers, guitarists, violinists, accordeon players etc., we forget about what the world considers 'cringe' or 'immature', and we bundle together all the joys, pains and confusions of our early 20's and collectively scream at the top of our lungs to some hummable melody, all the while having Arcade Fire in the backs of our minds. Because really, what other band has ever caught these feelings with such force?
Creedence Clearwater Revival
4/5
More like Hit Factory, amirite ladies
Anyway, this is pretty much the perfect southern rock album, hadn't they chosen to throw on multiple generic blues rock songs, one of which is Ooby Dooby.
Ms. Dynamite
2/5
Out of all the 2000's RnB albums, this is without a doubt one of them.
Blur
2/5
Blur, what's all this then??? You were supposed to be good??? Parklife is such a good song, but then you decide to just do bland ballads with sappy string arrangements??? And what's with the incoherent, half-assed genre-hopping???
Time to listen to some Gorillaz instead, then.
Mercury Rev
5/5
James Brown
4/5
Pink Floyd
5/5
Coldplay
3/5
Right in that uncanny valley, where you can hear both the artsy aspirations and bland pop sensibilities fight for your attention. I imagine this is much like the first person to introduce one of those ultra-modernist room designs consisting solely of pseudo-futuristic shades of white, oblivious to the fact that this would soon enough become the status quo for financially well-endowed IKEA customers with a defunct sense of style.
They did give us an all-time karaoke classic with The Scientist though, so you've got to give them that much.
The Who
3/5
John Lennon
4/5
k.d. lang
3/5
Extremely gentle and palatable songs. Perfect for a somewhat classy dinner with your parents that you didn't even really want to host in the first place.
Halfway through, my mind drifted off and started to wonder what k.d. could stand for. My top contenders were Krazy Diane, Kid Dock and Konkey Dong.
Thelonious Monk
3/5
Lana Del Rey
3/5
Curtis Mayfield
3/5
The Beach Boys
4/5
There's something a bit uncanny about this record, like a couple going through a divorce putting on a rather convincing smile in public, through which you can only see the cracks when you already know they're there.
But sometimes you've got to ease it with metrics like "cohesiveness" and "consistency", and simply realise that if 90% of these songs are pretty bangin', then that must mean it's a pretty bangin' album too.
The Doors
3/5
The sound of a talented band playing mostly just fun lil' ditties instead of, you know, real songs. Kinda fun and kinda groovy, but you can't help but to wonder if the waiter forgot to supplement your sides with an actual piece of meat.
Tricky
4/5
Trippi Hoppi
Supertramp
4/5
Public Enemy
5/5
Leonard Cohen
3/5
Where Cohen does the sleazy casanova type so well, you can't even tell whether it's a parody or the real deal.
Lyrics like "There's a concert hall in Vienna // Where your mouth had a thousand reviews" hit a straight home run, but then you imagine Leonard performing some robotic dance moves - banana in hand, of course - to some of these almost-disco beats and it all just gets a bit embarrassing.
Jungle Brothers
3/5
Boston
4/5
Just like a Tre Formaggi pizza. I'll let you figure out what that means, but just trust me when I say it makes sense
Prince
5/5
A classic pop album, rock album, funk album and soundtrack all in one. If those funky, ecstatic and ultra-catchy beats and screams don't get your blood pumping, it might be over for you.
Traffic
3/5
Everything But The Girl
2/5
Sounds like the kind of thing my mum would play in the car, after unexpectedly finding the CD somewhere way in the back of an old box in the attic.
This is really, really not a compliment. I'm sorry, mum. Love you regardless.
ZZ Top
3/5
Such painfully simple and obvious rock 'n roll, that it almost annoys me whenever it's actually pretty good.
Fatboy Slim
4/5
So obnoxious it somehow reverts back to just being incredibly fun. I don't know how it works, but it sure as hell does, and it's made many a gym session simply fly by.
Nina Simone
5/5
I could listen to Nina's emotional voice swells every day for the rest of my life and never grow tired of it. Add some gorgeous and varied instrumentals in the mix and you've got a truly unforgettable classic album.
Joy Division
5/5
The last summer day has already long past. The skies have changed their palettes; azure, cerulean and even lavender have faded to endless shades of grey colourlessness. The ceiling of looming clouds seems to come down slowly, one inch per hour, steadily compressing the world and the atmosphere below into some increasingly dense material, working up the gravity percentile by percentile, draining away ever more noticeable amounts of our breathing air.
I know you've got a hard time ahead. Life's never all that easy for you, but during these months, the gloomy weather has a way of wrapping itself around your throat. I've already seen it in your eyes, you're scared.
But please hold on. Soon it will be Christmas and the uncountable lights will be swimming all around you, there may even be snow, and then spring will be just around the corner once again. And I will be here for you whenever you need me. You can do this.
In the meantime, just remember all those oversized woolen sweaters stowed away at the back of your wardrobe, you can wear them all you want. And above all, you can listen to Joy Division, if you need to be reminded that this weight is not only yours to bear.
Nirvana
4/5
Beastie Boys
3/5
Motรถrhead
3/5
Maybe "1001 albums and/or singles you should listen to before you die" wouldn't have been such a bad idea either.
Have a wild guess as to which song I'm talking about.
Beck
3/5
The Prodigy
3/5
A novel and thrilling mix of breakbeats, rock and industrial that has become not-so-novel and honestly a bit exhausting by the sixth or so track. Nifty crab though.
Pavement
5/5
The sloppy guitar solo on Cut Your Hair. Stephen Malkmus not even remotely hitting the high notes in the chorus of Range Life. The sporadic 'Ta!'s in Elevate Me Later. The rendition of Take Five that would make Dave Brubeck throw up in his coffin.
I don't care what anyone else says, but to me, *that* is real beauty.
John Martyn
3/5
Grant Lee Buffalo
3/5
Paul Weller
3/5
With the abundance of Dadcore albums on this list, it's pretty thoughtful of them to throw in a couple of Momcore ones here and there.
Tito Puente
3/5