375
Albums Rated
3.35
Average Rating
34%
Complete
714 albums remaining
Rating Distribution
How you rate albums
Rating Timeline
Average rating over time
Ratings by Decade
Which era do you prefer?
Activity by Day
When do you listen?
Taste Profile
1970s
Favorite Decade
Grunge
Favorite Genre
US
Top Origin
Curator
Rater Style ?
55
5-Star Albums
17
1-Star Albums
Taste Analysis
Genre Preferences
Ratings by genre
Origin Preferences
Ratings by country
Rating Style
You Love More Than Most
Albums you rated higher than global average
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| Yeezus | 5 | 2.77 | +2.23 |
| The New Tango | 5 | 2.88 | +2.12 |
| Underwater Moonlight | 5 | 3.05 | +1.95 |
| Live 1966 (The Royal Albert Hall Concert) | 5 | 3.15 | +1.85 |
| Close To The Edge | 5 | 3.19 | +1.81 |
| The Slim Shady LP | 5 | 3.29 | +1.71 |
| The Yes Album | 5 | 3.31 | +1.69 |
| The College Dropout | 5 | 3.31 | +1.69 |
| Figure 8 | 5 | 3.32 | +1.68 |
| The Chronic | 5 | 3.33 | +1.67 |
You Love Less Than Most
Albums you rated lower than global average
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| Abattoir Blues / The Lyre of Orpheus | 1 | 3.32 | -2.32 |
| Little Earthquakes | 1 | 3.23 | -2.23 |
| Deserter's Songs | 1 | 3.02 | -2.02 |
| Sometimes I Wish We Were An Eagle | 1 | 3.02 | -2.02 |
| Bone Machine | 1 | 2.86 | -1.86 |
| Apple Venus Volume 1 | 1 | 2.85 | -1.85 |
| Mask | 1 | 2.85 | -1.85 |
| Vulnicura | 1 | 2.79 | -1.79 |
| Phaedra | 1 | 2.73 | -1.73 |
| Dummy | 2 | 3.71 | -1.71 |
Artist Analysis
Favorite Artists
Artists with 2+ albums
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Beatles | 4 | 5 |
| Bob Dylan | 7 | 4.43 |
| Led Zeppelin | 3 | 5 |
| Nirvana | 3 | 4.67 |
| Steely Dan | 3 | 4.67 |
| Stevie Wonder | 3 | 4.67 |
| The Beach Boys | 2 | 5 |
| Yes | 2 | 5 |
| Jimi Hendrix | 2 | 5 |
| Kendrick Lamar | 2 | 5 |
| Queen | 2 | 5 |
| Kanye West | 2 | 5 |
| Bob Marley & The Wailers | 3 | 4.33 |
| Talking Heads | 5 | 4 |
Least Favorite Artists
Artists with 2+ albums
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds | 2 | 1.5 |
| Robert Wyatt | 2 | 1.5 |
5-Star Albums (55)
View Album Wall
Popular Reviews
The Bees
3/5
Every good band begins with a B. The Beatles. The Beach Boys. The beastie boys. The Bees also begins with a B but don’t let that fool you
12 likes
Joan Armatrading
2/5
She walked so Tracy Chapman could vroom vroom in her fast car
7 likes
Portishead
2/5
Music to play while you and your friends sneak into a graveyard in high school
7 likes
1-Star Albums (17)
All Ratings
Nirvana
5/5
You love Nirvana so much? Go ahead, name 5 of their albums
The Clash
4/5
Not sure why he sings like he has a potato in his mouth
Thin Lizzy
3/5
Who knew the guy who wrote the boys are back in town had more than 1 song?
ABBA
3/5
I love mama Mia!
Rage Against The Machine
3/5
There’s nothing better than listening to RATM while working my cushy 9 to 5 job
Rage Against The Machine
4/5
Scritti Politti
3/5
I could see this being the soundtrack for a “Tab” commercial
The Killers
3/5
This is what I thought the future sounded like in 2004
David Bowie
4/5
“I don’t want to be gay. I just want to be sexy” - David Bowie, 1975
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
1/5
This was only on the list so you could appreciate how good albums can be
Bob Dylan
5/5
Well written, genius, and a sexy name. What more can you want
Bob Dylan
5/5
Charles Mingus
3/5
Ya like jazz?
Raekwon
3/5
His raps are ok but he needs to fire his producer
Bob Dylan
5/5
40 minutes of perfect music and also a song about playing cards or something
Bob Dylan
5/5
The The
2/5
British people are weird!
Talking Heads
3/5
… not sure any songs are even about food but ok…
Talking Heads
4/5
Neil Young
3/5
Some hits, some misses, but damn he can blow the shit out of that harmonica
The Beach Boys
5/5
The most boring album of good music
The Beach Boys
5/5
Bob Marley & The Wailers
4/5
No woman, no cry… no man, no one cares!
Bob Marley & The Wailers
4/5
Fishbone
3/5
How did they predict the 90s ???
R.E.M.
3/5
Good thing they’re called R.E.M because they put me to sleep
1/5
This band is the shitty knockoff of Oasis which is already the shitty knockoff of the Beatles
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
3/5
Amazing what cocaine can bring humanity
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
4/5
Sarah Vaughan
5/5
Now THIS is jazz
The Mamas & The Papas
3/5
This album answers the question “what if they still wrote doo wop music in the 60s”
The Mamas & The Papas
3/5
Dirty Projectors
2/5
Radiohead’s biggest sin is convincing the world that polyrhythms mean it’s good
The War On Drugs
5/5
Misread the name and accidentally listened to the band “WAR” while on drugs
Johnny Cash
4/5
Aw man I’m all out of Cash
Nirvana
5/5
Oh, you hate nirvana so much? Don’t name 3 of their albums
The Magnetic Fields
3/5
Scrubs soundtrack ass music
Pink Floyd
5/5
This album is so good, my future father in law got it for me on vinyl 2 christmases in a row
Buena Vista Social Club
3/5
Couldn’t understand a word they were saying. It was like they were speaking a whole different language
A Tribe Called Quest
4/5
Me when I see a sand castle:
Can I kick it? Yes I can!!
John Cale
2/5
This guy lived during the 60’s and thought that all British people could write music
Laibach
2/5
Haha what if we were ironically fascisf? Haha wouldn’t that be funny? Haha what if it was a joke that we made being nationalist a thing again haha right? Heyy where’s everyone going???
Pulp
3/5
Maybe I just don’t like Brit pop
Don McLean
3/5
How he gonna sing a whole song about Vincent Van Gogh and not mention the ear
Common
4/5
It sounded like the hey Arnold theme song
Steely Dan
4/5
Mmm pretzels
Marianne Faithfull
2/5
Oof ouch owie my ears
David Bowie
4/5
Would be a 5/5 but it loses some points for whatever the beginning of “Andy Warhol” is
5/5
When I saw this was the album of the day I was like YES!
If you don’t think that’s funny, my fiancée didn’t either
Prince
4/5
The baby was a bit much
Hugh Masekela
4/5
Ya like jazz?
Echo And The Bunnymen
3/5
Yawn!
Simon & Garfunkel
3/5
One time my roommate said he was making “Scarborough fair bread” and I said “what goes in that” and he said “parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme”
David Bowie
3/5
Not Bowie’s best, but still better than 99% of the other stuff on here
Michael Jackson
4/5
Why is the beginning of “off the wall” so spooky?
Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
3/5
I love the blues! And by that I mean I like being sad. This music is fine
Leonard Cohen
3/5
Store brand Bob Dylan
Santana
4/5
The perfect album for dropping acid with your older brother
Bob Dylan
2/5
Hour long anti smoking PSA
Cocteau Twins
4/5
Mac Demarco for people in 1990
Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
2/5
The music was great but the vibes were not.
SAULT
4/5
How are you gonna name an album “untitled” and then title it in the same breath
Lightning Bolt
1/5
This album sounds like when your 8 year old cousins come over and they ask to play your guitar
Stan Getz
3/5
Like Jazz? Why not jazz it up with extra jazz
The Undertones
2/5
Minus one star for ripping off Talking Heads
The Verve
3/5
One hit wonders
Iron Maiden
4/5
They made this as if they knew guitar hero would be a thing
The Pretty Things
3/5
They should have spent less time writing a story and more time writing better music
Sly & The Family Stone
3/5
I wish I lived in the 60s so I could have a nuanced take on this
The Notorious B.I.G.
5/5
Every rapper who dies early is contractually obligated to have songs like “I’m never gonna die!” Or “shoot me until I’m dead”
Genesis
3/5
They just copied Yes but go off
Yes
5/5
Anyone who doesn’t like this album can unfriend me
Bob Dylan
4/5
More like the Freeballin’ Bob Dylan
The Human League
2/5
Sounds like it was written and recorded in an alley
Jorge Ben Jor
4/5
I like the instrument that sounds like someone is washing the window
D'Angelo
3/5
Dad R&B
Kate Bush
3/5
Another member of the Bush family getting fame. What’s next for America? Jill Biden making a mixtape?
Can
4/5
German Pink Floyd. Pink Freud
Nick Drake
4/5
Nick drake = nickleback + drake
Crosby, Stills & Nash
5/5
This is what life should be like. Chillin on a couch outside the house with 2 dudes, singing songs and having an ice cold miller lite
Culture Club
2/5
What did they put in the water during 1980-1989 that made everyone write bad music?
Fugees
5/5
You know if the guy serving you food is mean to you the meal boutta be fire
Faust
2/5
They sound like they would be good live. Too bad they’re dead
The Clash
4/5
Whoever said punk is dead is wrong because I can still listen to music from the 70s
Mercury Rev
1/5
Tim Burton ass soundtrack
4/5
Every time a child in Africa dies, Bono claps his hands
Funkadelic
4/5
George Clinton really just says whatever he wants
The Divine Comedy
3/5
Fine. You can have a 3. But only if I never have to listen to you again
Megadeth
2/5
I’m not buying! this album
The Damned
3/5
It sounded like they made the album as a joke
The Flaming Lips
4/5
One time I saw the flaming lips live and Wayne Coyne had a fake baby. True story
David Bowie
3/5
In Philly they call this album “Hoagies”
Public Enemy
2/5
It was a mistake listening to this in the car because I couldn’t tell if it was the music or my windshield wipers
Stevie Wonder
4/5
Not Stevie on the drums on every track??
Faith No More
2/5
The Pokérap could have been on here and I wouldn’t have noticed
Korn
2/5
The band really named themselves after Corn
Talking Heads
4/5
The definition of “scaring the hoes” music
Kelela
3/5
Nice!
Miles Davis
3/5
I now understand what Billy Madison meant when he said “If peeing your pants is cool, I’m Miles Davis”
Blondie
3/5
Wow! An album full of cleaning supplies commercials music!
Belle & Sebastian
4/5
Wait… British people can make good music??
Tori Amos
1/5
If I was in middle school in 1992 this would have been my JAM
Pixies
4/5
Bone Machine sounds like it was written by Tim Robinson
Janis Joplin
5/5
This album hits harder when your brother played it non stop during college
Run-D.M.C.
3/5
I think I heard the DK rap on there
Ray Price
2/5
Imagine popping molly in the club to this album tho
Miles Davis
3/5
Hey Miles I think you accidentally recorded the band tuning their instruments for 40 minutes
The Incredible String Band
1/5
This is what being forced to go to church sounds like
James Brown
4/5
You just know he got laid after that
Neil Young
4/5
So Neil definitely wanted a bang maid, right?
4/5
Adding beetles in the bog as my ringtone
New Order
3/5
I listened to this on a cassette for the full effect
Creedence Clearwater Revival
4/5
The perfect album to eat crawfish to
Taylor Swift
4/5
Objectively good music that I subjectively don’t like
Goldie
1/5
Smash bros loading menu ass music
Gene Clark
2/5
Was a 3 until I got to the worst cover of “Stand by me” I’ve ever heard
The Byrds
4/5
My 6th grade history teacher’s name was Mrs. Bird, but my dad always spelled it Byrd. Maybe this is why. Or maybe he was just old
Solomon Burke
3/5
Ok now I understand why the Beatles were so popular
Patti Smith
4/5
I thought she was a knock off of the Talking Heads, but turns out they’re a knock off of her
David Bowie
3/5
Let me off at the next stop thanks
Calexico
4/5
Acoustic Queens of the Stone Age
The Jam
2/5
This album is timeless, in that it could have come out in any decade and I still wouldn’t have liked it
CHIC
3/5
The best thing disco ever did for me was have really good fries named after them
Beatles
5/5
This isn’t even the best album in the Beatles
The Pogues
5/5
This is the music of my people
The Good, The Bad & The Queen
3/5
Hey, this sounds like the “woo hoo!” Guy.
Hey, this IS the “woo hoo!” Guy!
Soundgarden
4/5
Gets a 4 at minimum because one of these songs was on Rock Band
Elliott Smith
5/5
This is what I needed to hear today
The Waterboys
4/5
This is also the music of my people, but this album doesn’t have the Dubliners on it
Coldplay
3/5
Did not know there were so many people who don’t like cold play. Add one more
My Bloody Valentine
3/5
I now understand shoe gaze
Meat Loaf
3/5
It’s times like this I wonder what if there was a rapper named Tuna Casserole
Hole
4/5
I listened to the whole album
Le Tigre
2/5
If they can write music, maybe I can too
Nas
4/5
If you told me this guy invented being cool, I would believe you
Fairport Convention
4/5
Fairport convention: Omg our friend Michael is so crazy! We should write a song telling people how crazy he is
Michael: [the most boring British man to ever live] hi
Tortoise
2/5
The band is very aptly named because their music is slow, dry, and I want to turn them into soup
Garbage
3/5
More like recycling because it was fine
Black Sabbath
4/5
If I were a 12 year old in 1970 I would have been really annoying about this album
Echo And The Bunnymen
2/5
Oh, so THIS is what bad punk sounds like. It’s just new wave music
Aphex Twin
2/5
That was Aphex Twin?? That was just a bunch of cheap walk cycles!!
Kraftwerk
2/5
WE ARE THE ROBOTS ok and?
The Afghan Whigs
3/5
Not bad although I do not remember a single thing about the album
Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
2/5
Paper Mario ass soundtrack
Kraftwerk
2/5
This is what happens when you give g*mers the courage to write music
Deep Purple
4/5
I think I listened to this in a fever dream but it was good
Leonard Cohen
3/5
Great sleepy time music, unfortunately I was not trying to sleep
Beatles
5/5
My least favorite Beatles album :/
The Allman Brothers Band
4/5
I thought it was almond brothers!! I was so excited for songs about nuts
Billy Joel
4/5
Thought it was Greatest Hits of Billy Joel for a second
Little Simz
3/5
British rapping just doesn’t sound right
Mariah Carey
2/5
The crazy part is I like some of her songs
Frank Zappa
4/5
Someone give these rats a popsicle!
System Of A Down
3/5
Metal is a silly little genre and you can’t convince me otherwise
Neil Young
4/5
Sending this to the boys chat before they all come over to smoke weed and fill their bellies with diet soda and play burnout revenge for the ps2
The Who
4/5
“Tommy’s Holiday Camp” awakened a deep memory when I was at camp and one of the scoutmasters woke us up 30 mins early with a big “GOOD MORNING CAMPERS”
Talking Heads
4/5
If you have a fear of music, DO NOT LISTEN!! You will be scared the ENTIRE time!!!
The Go-Go's
3/5
My cousin used to sing “we got the beat” poorly and that’s all I could hear and I’m sorry
Blue Cheer
3/5
Took the sound of Jimi Hendrix without any of the emotion
The White Stripes
4/5
Haha babe what if we pretended to be brother and sister haha I mean wouldn’t that be crazy haha as a joke!! Joking!!
The Soft Boys
5/5
Nothin better than gettin soft with the boys
Jane Weaver
2/5
Florence and the machine but the machine is broken
Portishead
2/5
Mom please come pick me up I’m scared
Ray Charles
3/5
I liked it but this ain’t country
Robbie Williams
2/5
Oh ok maybe British people don’t know how to make music
Suzanne Vega
2/5
She, sings, like, all, of, her, words, have, a, comma, after, them,
Harry Nilsson
3/5
Unbelievable that this guy and John Lennon were bffs for like 3 years
Janelle Monáe
3/5
She was better in Glass Onion
Johnny Cash
4/5
If this is what jail is like, I wanna go!
Julian Cope
2/5
It’s a shame when you read this is an artist’s best album and it’s still not that good
The Associates
2/5
UK new wave is something I wish I could have listened to after I died. And I mean that as an insult.
Pet Shop Boys
2/5
Playing “shopping” on the way to all my mall visits from now on
Muddy Waters
4/5
He’s hard, I’m hard, are there any more hard people I should know about???
Small Faces
4/5
It’s no captain beefheart, but it’s close
Jimi Hendrix
5/5
Electric Ladyland sounds nice, but I really want to visit Fireman City
Led Zeppelin
5/5
The length of “Since I’ve been loving you” is the exact amount of time it takes to get from my ex gf’s house to my house, a fact I learned at 4 in the morning in high school after sneaking out
Lupe Fiasco
3/5
Just made me hungry and thirsty
The Stooges
2/5
In a not unexpected move, “we will fall” made the albums rating fall from a 3 to a 2
Portishead
2/5
Music to play while you and your friends sneak into a graveyard in high school
Amy Winehouse
4/5
Meghan Trainor music if it was good
OutKast
4/5
This here is what we call dad rap
The The
2/5
The The The album isn’t very good. Damn it now The doesn’t sound like a word anymore
Willie Nelson
3/5
Willie Nelson let me down
Rahul Dev Burman
4/5
I’m also gonna review this on Letterboxd because I think it counts as having watched it
Buzzcocks
2/5
The title is accurate because I really do wish I listened to another music
Shuggie Otis
4/5
A great listen on the treadmill
Marvin Gaye
5/5
What’s goin on? What’s happening? Who are you?? How did you get in my house???
Marvin Gaye
4/5
Great vibes on the way to Portugal 🇵🇹
Kacey Musgraves
3/5
Sheryl Crow ran so Kacey Musgraves could walk
Dolly Parton
4/5
You just know her coat of many colors went hard
Boards of Canada
2/5
Great music to put in the background at a nice low volume. And by low volume I mean 0
Steely Dan
5/5
No babe when I said I wanted to Peg I meant Steely Dan! Honest!
Led Zeppelin
5/5
Beck
3/5
When this album came out, it was ahead of its time. Unfortunately, I’m listening to it 30 years later, so it feels behind my current time.
The Stranglers
4/5
I’m a sucker for any band with a good bassist
Herbie Hancock
4/5
It’s like a party in my head and everyone’s invited!
Girls Against Boys
2/5
I don’t get all the hate. I do get all of the dislike though
The Bees
3/5
Every good band begins with a B. The Beatles. The Beach Boys. The beastie boys. The Bees also begins with a B but don’t let that fool you
Kendrick Lamar
5/5
Good kid, maad city, great album, bad haircut
Bill Callahan
1/5
Sometimes I wish i we’re an eagle so I didn’t have to listen to this album
Baaba Maal
2/5
The kind of music my older brother would put on and when everyone complained to him he would go “I never complain about your music!!”
Funkadelic
5/5
If you do not like this album then you are super stupid !! Ha like the song
Fugazi
2/5
Repeater? I hardly know her!
Tangerine Dream
1/5
“One of the most influential electronic albums ever!!!” My dude this is just 1 note with some rain, wind, and ocean sound effects over it for like 45 minutes
The Band
3/5
They really just chose the default band name
Elvis Presley
3/5
Great show! Too bad I fuckin hate Elvis :)
Joan Armatrading
2/5
She walked so Tracy Chapman could vroom vroom in her fast car
Jeff Buckley
3/5
Anyone who wrote the song from Shrek is a friend of mine
Radiohead
4/5
Baby’s got depends… oh no…
Stan Getz
4/5
It’s nice :) gonna save this one for when I cook dinner high as fuck
Radiohead
4/5
When will Radiohead learn that 3 minutes of ambient noise doesn’t make for good music
Talking Heads
5/5
Once again the Talking Heads lied to me. There are nowhere near 77 tracks on this album
Al Green
4/5
Gonna tell my kids this was the birth o of Al
Kendrick Lamar
5/5
This didn’t win the Grammy and I will never forgive Taylor swift for it
Cypress Hill
3/5
The kind of music my parents would tell me to turn down, and they wouldn’t be wrong
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
4/5
The genre of this album is “music”
Christina Aguilera
2/5
The kind of album you’re not just meant to listen to, but one you’re meant to get up and dance to! Unfortunately I was listening to it
The Velvet Underground
2/5
Full on disassociated while listening to sister ray
3/5
Bonus tracks for the album:
If you’re gunna cheat, at least do it to my face
Winners never cheat, but cheaters never lose
Cheat cheat (it’s all you do (but I love you))
AC/DC
4/5
In high school one of my friends said he “liked music without sexual overtones, like AC/DC” we played the album and just about got to “Givin the dog a bone” before he realized his mistake
John Grant
3/5
The kind of music your friend would show you in high school and you would obsess over and then you’d go to a concert and it’d be empty
Nick Drake
4/5
RIP Nick Drake. You would have loved Drake and Josh, which aired on Nick.
Stevie Wonder
5/5
Imagine how good he’d be if he could see
Jacques Brel
3/5
The French Frank Sinatra. Franc Senêtre
Nirvana
4/5
Just woke up from a 30 year coma. Can’t wait to see what these guys put out since then!
Rush
4/5
The first album I ever bought as a teenager, and haven’t listened to it since
Booker T. & The MG's
3/5
Royalty free music you can play in the background of a high school video project
TV On The Radio
3/5
Listened to Tv on the radio on my phone in my couch on my floor on earth on space
Beastie Boys
5/5
Good thing the Beastie Boys weren’t a thing when I was in college because I would have been really fucking annoying about it
Arcade Fire
3/5
Quintessential indie, which means they’re popular, which means they’re not actually indie, which means… something?
Fatboy Slim
3/5
Rip Fatboy Slim. You would have loved garage band
Beatles
5/5
The Beatles got good when they stopped writing songs about love and start writing about taking naps, submarines, and taxes
Syd Barrett
2/5
More like Brown Floyd. Because it sounds like doo doo
Beatles
5/5
The first Beatles album I ever listened to at 7 years old. I was like “they can drive my WHAT???”
Barry Adamson
1/5
Just…. No
Adam & The Ants
2/5
Actually it’s pronounced “Adam and the Aunts”
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
3/5
I love pre grunge :) except when it’s post folk :(
The KLF
2/5
Sorry electronica really ain’t my thing
Van Halen
5/5
I now understand why the 80’s were like that. Everyone was trying to copy Van Halen
Lynyrd Skynyrd
4/5
The whole time I was like play freebird! And then they did!!
Queen
5/5
Yaaaasss qween rock it 👏
Pink Floyd
4/5
So nice of Pink Floyd to write an album about Mark Wahlburg!
The Hives
3/5
More like my old not favorite band
Depeche Mode
2/5
I listened to this on Depeche Mode. And by that I mean I sped through all the bits I didn’t like (because depeche is French for hurry the fuck up)
Sonic Youth
4/5
Finally a band for Sonic the hedgehog fans like me!
Todd Rundgren
3/5
He is neither a wizard nor a true star
Beth Orton
3/5
Loved the one that sounded right off the Metroid Prime soundtrack
Nine Inch Nails
3/5
Do their fans call themselves the knights who say NIN?
Grant Lee Buffalo
2/5
Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo. And by that I mean I don’t like this album very much
Miles Davis
5/5
I’m kind of blue da ba dee da ba die
Steely Dan
5/5
Give me a miller high life, a grill, a cigarette, and Steely Dan and you will give me happiness
The Yardbirds
4/5
I wonder if their engineer’s name was Roger. Seems like a nice dude
Sade
3/5
It’s like Marvin Gaye met a girl with no talent and had a baby with some talent
The Isley Brothers
4/5
Throwing this on at the next party and seeing who starts dancing first
Pantera
3/5
Expected to hate it - didn’t hate it - is that a win?
The White Stripes
3/5
I’m confused so is he talking to Satan or is he Satan
Electric Light Orchestra
4/5
When you’re a child, you think ELO is the best band ever. Then when you’re a teen, you think you’re too cool for ELO. And then when you’re an adult, you realize ELO is only pretty good.
The Stooges
4/5
Steamy punk
David Ackles
2/5
The second he started singing is the second he lost me
The Smashing Pumpkins
4/5
Perfect music to listen to right after Halloween
Bad Company
4/5
There’s no better experience in life than listening to the song Bad Company by the band Bad Company on the album Bad Company while I’m playing the game Battlefield: Bad Company and I have my rude friends over (they are bad company) who all work for Amazon (a bad company)
Ryan Adams
2/5
It’s like he went to Bob Dylan’s house to raid his fridge. But he forgot to bring a cooler so the food went bad
Prince
4/5
Great music, greater vibe, best hot chicken in Nashville
Dion
2/5
Even worse than his daughter Celine
The United States Of America
4/5
Fastest turnaround from a 1 to a 4 I’ve ever seen
The Verve
2/5
The verve only have one good song and and it’s not even on this album
Michael Jackson
5/5
Still blows my mind that he released Thriller one week AFTER Halloween
Tom Waits
1/5
Tom better stop waiting because I will never find his music interesting
Astrud Gilberto
3/5
WARNING!!! Do NOT misspell Astrud! There’s only one s and the t comes BEFORE the u!!
Jack White
3/5
Finally, Jack White goes solo and can use more than 2 instruments in a song!
The Byrds
4/5
These guys are so ahead of their time - we haven’t even found the fourth dimension yet
Eagles
3/5
I can’t believe I’m typing this but Marcel the shell with shoes on really ruined “peaceful easy feeling” for me
George Michael
3/5
The first time I heard “freedom!” Was on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which means that I can’t take it seriously. Like at all
Guns N' Roses
4/5
Today on “songs that other media has ruined for me”: stepbrothers ruins sweet child o mine
The Specials
4/5
RIP the specials. You would have love the 90s
David Bowie
5/5
Is it pronounced “Bowie” or “Bowie”?
Sufjan Stevens
3/5
It’s like if Elliott Smith was from Chicago
Saint Etienne
2/5
You can’t open with a terrible cover of Neil Young and expect me to like the rest of your album
2/5
They sound like a band at a bar that I definitely did not pay a cover to hear
Muddy Waters
4/5
Times like these remind me that deep down, we’re all just hoochie coochie men
Jimi Hendrix
5/5
Of course I’m experienced ! (I say as a LIE 😈)
Django Django
4/5
Took a toilet nap at work while listening to skies over Cairo and had a dream about Mario in a desert level
Sheryl Crow
4/5
Sheryl Crow is my waifu
Dire Straits
4/5
One of the greatest guitarists playing some of the most dogshit music
Grateful Dead
4/5
I’ve been listening to shakedown street for 3 days and they just got the end of the first verse…..
Björk
1/5
More like 1001 albums that make you die
Massive Attack
2/5
Music made for a high school “rave” in someone’s parents’ basement that starts at 6:30 and ends at 9
Foo Fighters
4/5
Ladies and gentlemen… foo FIGHTERS
The Stone Roses
3/5
Not at all like The Rolling Stones plus Guns N’ Roses
Minor Threat
4/5
Hell fucking yeah
Radiohead
4/5
Yep, that sure is Radiohead alright
Joni Mitchell
3/5
Maybe the lawns are hissing because she sucks
Bill Evans Trio
4/5
Yep, that’s Jazz alright
The Adverts
2/5
Maybe one chord would have been better…
Baaba Maal
3/5
The kinda music that plays in an adventure movie when they go to a hot country in the Middle East
Curtis Mayfield
4/5
I wish I was as cool as Curtis Mayfield….
Siouxsie And The Banshees
2/5
Ban she’s? In my America? I don’t think so
The Only Ones
3/5
British people who can’t sing shouldn’t sing
Peter Gabriel
4/5
The man named after angels!
Eminem
5/5
Eminem be like “I’m Eminem I like eating m and ms every now and then [m and m crunching sound]”
Madness
3/5
The album aged even worse than the cover art
Brian Wilson
4/5
If Mr Beach Boy wants to make music as his form of therapy I’m here for it
The Velvet Underground
4/5
What one tuner would have done for them!
Led Zeppelin
5/5
Eric Clapton can suck it
Slayer
2/5
The kind of music they made so your mom could tell you to turn it down
3/5
Jumped out of my chair when I heard Thom Yorke
Boston
4/5
Solid bangers that sound too good to have been recorded in a basement in Watertown
Meat Puppets
4/5
The lead singer sounds like he’s constantly on the verge of tears, which is pretty apt because that’s how I was living at Villanova when I first got into the album
Kanye West
5/5
“As soon as they like you make them unlike you” sure got the crowd fucking hating this guy
Dr. Dre
5/5
I’m starting to think this guy isn’t even a doctor
Songhoy Blues
4/5
What a great album that I’ll promptly forget and never listen to again
Paul Revere & The Raiders
3/5
Lost me at “I wrote this song for a girl I don’t even know yet….” Predatory ass music
Love
3/5
It’s like the soundtrack to a movie that I didn’t want to watch
The Rolling Stones
4/5
Why are his fingers sticky…..? Ew
Jefferson Airplane
3/5
Good thing I had a surrealistic pillow because this bored me to sleep
Red Hot Chili Peppers
4/5
John Frusciante isn’t even the best guitarists in the Red Hot Chili Peppers
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
2/5
How’d he get an AI image generator for the cover in 2019?
Kanye West
5/5
Makes me want to have dropped out of college!
Astor Piazzolla
5/5
I bet the mosh pit went fucking HARD
1/5
This is the music that they play in the elevator on the way to hell, but 3 minutes in you realize you’re already in hell
LTJ Bukem
1/5
Listening to this the week before Christmas makes me feel like the grinch because both of us hate NOISE
Alice In Chains
4/5
Grungeitize me captain
The Cure
3/5
I know their instruments aren’t out of tune, but if their instruments aren’t out of tune, then why do their instruments sound like they’re out of tune?
Sister Sledge
4/5
If you were born between 1975-1980, there’s a 50% chance you were conceived to this album
King Crimson
4/5
Brilliant album ruined by 12 minutes of literal silence in the middle
Jamiroquai
4/5
So funky I think I need to get tested for something
Various Artists
4/5
What an exciting Christmas present to open
Todd Rundgren
4/5
Can’t believe my parents used to listen to this trash. 4 stars
Traffic
3/5
A slog to get through but not without its exciting parts - just like highway traffic!
Joy Division
4/5
It’s like if Talking Heads only wrote very sad music and his suit were too small
Tim Buckley
2/5
Tim should retire and have a son and teach him guitar. I think it’d go much better for him
Duke Ellington
4/5
Finally an album for me - a lover of cigarettes
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
4/5
Garbage name but great background music
Air
4/5
It’s like the opposite of daft punk - adept conformist?
The Charlatans
3/5
Really good for Brit pop! Unfortunately I don’t usually like Brit pop
The Streets
1/5
I’ll review this album like The Streets would:
Dis album is bad
It made me quite…..
Sad!
It’s ova ….. and I’m ….. glad
Do ya fink he Eva kneew ‘is dad?
Adele
3/5
I don’t know who Adele’s ex his, but his dick must be huuuuge
Keith Jarrett
3/5
For the love of god, please hire 1 (one) more musician
Robert Wyatt
2/5
So jazzy but the guy needs to hire a better singer
Violent Femmes
3/5
It’s like Lou Reed had a baby with the Soft Boys, but then that baby had a baby with the Cure
Run-D.M.C.
4/5
Great album, would be even better if they had a third guy who said the last word of the rap when they said it
Sonic Youth
3/5
Was not aware that Sonic the Hedgehog was in a band in his younger days!
Queen
5/5
Only a few bands can write the worst songs of all time and still make me love them
Siouxsie And The Banshees
2/5
The perfect music to play from a cassette while hanging at the mall on a Friday with the besties
MC Solaar
3/5
Is this what Kanye based N****s in Paris on?
Devendra Banhart
2/5
Clearly a gifted musician but he needs to find a friend to fix his garbage lyrics
Jane's Addiction
4/5
Spoiler alert: they never say what Jane is addicted to
Oasis
4/5
They’re the new Beatles. And by that I mean they’re British and nothing else
Green Day
5/5
Is now a good time to mention how Johnny Test stole American Idiot for its theme song?
Kings of Leon
4/5
Leon has no king. Leon NEEDS no king
John Lennon
5/5
Imagine not listening to this album because John Lennon is a bad guy and then listening to Sabrina Carpenter
Donald Fagen
3/5
Dan just isn’t the same without Steely… or is this steely?
Dire Straits
4/5
One of the best guitarists in our time playing some of the most boring music
Os Mutantes
3/5
How do you say “ok” in Portuguese
Killing Joke
3/5
You’re laughing. They killed jokes and you’re laughing
Derek & The Dominos
4/5
Missing my favorite Eric Clapton song, “don’t leave your window open while you’re doing cocaine”
5/5
JUDAS!! JUDAS!! HAS ANYONE SEEN MY FRIEND JUDAS??
Elton John
4/5
The madman!!! He’s a madman!!! He played piano really good
Stephen Stills
4/5
Anyone in the Crosby stills Nash young cinematic universe is a friend of mine
Stevie Wonder
5/5
Finally a fun, flamboyant, and full-fledged album from famous fingers of fine fellow Fevie Fonder
The Sabres Of Paradise
2/5
I think they recorded this in a toilet. Not a bathroom, a toilet
Bob Marley & The Wailers
5/5
Imagining smoking a great big spliff to this while sitting at my desk in the office
Bauhaus
1/5
They really took my least favorite kinds of music (English, 80s, noise) and made it into my worst nightmare
N.E.R.D
3/5
Can’t believe this was made by a man made out of legos
Air
2/5
An album that gives the experience of watching a movie but playing on your phone the whole time
Jimmy Smith
4/5
This album will only leave you hungry for chicken, do not listen!
Gillian Welch
3/5
O brother where art thou core
The Black Crowes
2/5
Can’t decide if I’d like it better as a cover band of the black keys and counting crows
Fiona Apple
2/5
A less slutty version of Lana Del Rey
Cyndi Lauper
3/5
She’s so unusual! If by unusual you mean completely usual
Suede
4/5
Suede
Creedence Clearwater Revival
5/5
If this is Cosmo’s factory, I’d love to hear what Wanda has to offer
Soft Machine
2/5
So ahead of their time and influential! They influenced the sound of the dial up modem
Sonic Youth
3/5
Oh what the magic of a simple guitar tuner would do for them
Robert Wyatt
1/5
Funny how he called the second song “last straw” because it was when I decided I didn’t like the album!