375
Albums Rated
3.35
Average Rating
34%
Complete
714 albums remaining
Rating Distribution
Rating Timeline
Taste Profile
1970s
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Rater Style ?
55
5-Star Albums
17
1-Star Albums
Breakdown
By Genre
By Decade
By Origin
Albums
You Love More Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Yeezus
Kanye West
|
5 | 2.78 | +2.22 |
|
The New Tango
Astor Piazzolla
|
5 | 2.88 | +2.12 |
|
Underwater Moonlight
The Soft Boys
|
5 | 3.06 | +1.94 |
|
Live 1966 (The Royal Albert Hall Concert)
Bob Dylan
|
5 | 3.15 | +1.85 |
|
Close To The Edge
Yes
|
5 | 3.19 | +1.81 |
|
The Slim Shady LP
Eminem
|
5 | 3.29 | +1.71 |
|
The Yes Album
Yes
|
5 | 3.31 | +1.69 |
|
The College Dropout
Kanye West
|
5 | 3.31 | +1.69 |
|
Figure 8
Elliott Smith
|
5 | 3.32 | +1.68 |
|
The Chronic
Dr. Dre
|
5 | 3.33 | +1.67 |
You Love Less Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Abattoir Blues / The Lyre of Orpheus
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
|
1 | 3.32 | -2.32 |
|
Little Earthquakes
Tori Amos
|
1 | 3.23 | -2.23 |
|
Deserter's Songs
Mercury Rev
|
1 | 3.02 | -2.02 |
|
Sometimes I Wish We Were An Eagle
Bill Callahan
|
1 | 3.02 | -2.02 |
|
Bone Machine
Tom Waits
|
1 | 2.86 | -1.86 |
|
Apple Venus Volume 1
XTC
|
1 | 2.85 | -1.85 |
|
Mask
Bauhaus
|
1 | 2.85 | -1.85 |
|
Vulnicura
Björk
|
1 | 2.79 | -1.79 |
|
Phaedra
Tangerine Dream
|
1 | 2.74 | -1.74 |
|
Dummy
Portishead
|
2 | 3.71 | -1.71 |
Artists
Favorites
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Beatles | 4 | 5 |
| Bob Dylan | 7 | 4.43 |
| Led Zeppelin | 3 | 5 |
| Nirvana | 3 | 4.67 |
| Steely Dan | 3 | 4.67 |
| Stevie Wonder | 3 | 4.67 |
| The Beach Boys | 2 | 5 |
| Yes | 2 | 5 |
| Jimi Hendrix | 2 | 5 |
| Kendrick Lamar | 2 | 5 |
| Queen | 2 | 5 |
| Kanye West | 2 | 5 |
| Bob Marley & The Wailers | 3 | 4.33 |
| Talking Heads | 5 | 4 |
Least Favorites
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds | 2 | 1.5 |
| Robert Wyatt | 2 | 1.5 |
5-Star Albums (55)
View Album Wall
Popular Reviews
The Bees
3/5
Every good band begins with a B. The Beatles. The Beach Boys. The beastie boys. The Bees also begins with a B but don’t let that fool you
12 likes
Talking Heads
5/5
Once again the Talking Heads lied to me. There are nowhere near 77 tracks on this album
7 likes
Joan Armatrading
2/5
She walked so Tracy Chapman could vroom vroom in her fast car
7 likes
Portishead
2/5
Music to play while you and your friends sneak into a graveyard in high school
7 likes
1-Star Albums (17)
All Ratings
Nirvana
5/5
You love Nirvana so much? Go ahead, name 5 of their albums
The Clash
4/5
Not sure why he sings like he has a potato in his mouth
Thin Lizzy
3/5
Who knew the guy who wrote the boys are back in town had more than 1 song?
ABBA
3/5
I love mama Mia!
Rage Against The Machine
3/5
There’s nothing better than listening to RATM while working my cushy 9 to 5 job
Rage Against The Machine
4/5
Scritti Politti
3/5
I could see this being the soundtrack for a “Tab” commercial
The Killers
3/5
This is what I thought the future sounded like in 2004
David Bowie
4/5
“I don’t want to be gay. I just want to be sexy” - David Bowie, 1975
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
1/5
This was only on the list so you could appreciate how good albums can be
Bob Dylan
5/5
Well written, genius, and a sexy name. What more can you want
Bob Dylan
5/5
Charles Mingus
3/5
Ya like jazz?
Raekwon
3/5
His raps are ok but he needs to fire his producer
Bob Dylan
5/5
40 minutes of perfect music and also a song about playing cards or something
Bob Dylan
5/5
The The
2/5
British people are weird!
Talking Heads
3/5
… not sure any songs are even about food but ok…
Talking Heads
4/5
Neil Young
3/5
Some hits, some misses, but damn he can blow the shit out of that harmonica
The Beach Boys
5/5
The most boring album of good music
The Beach Boys
5/5
Bob Marley & The Wailers
4/5
No woman, no cry… no man, no one cares!
Bob Marley & The Wailers
4/5
Fishbone
3/5
How did they predict the 90s ???
R.E.M.
3/5
Good thing they’re called R.E.M because they put me to sleep
1/5
This band is the shitty knockoff of Oasis which is already the shitty knockoff of the Beatles
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
3/5
Amazing what cocaine can bring humanity
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
4/5
Sarah Vaughan
5/5
Now THIS is jazz
The Mamas & The Papas
3/5
This album answers the question “what if they still wrote doo wop music in the 60s”
The Mamas & The Papas
3/5
Dirty Projectors
2/5
Radiohead’s biggest sin is convincing the world that polyrhythms mean it’s good
The War On Drugs
5/5
Misread the name and accidentally listened to the band “WAR” while on drugs
Johnny Cash
4/5
Aw man I’m all out of Cash
Nirvana
5/5
Oh, you hate nirvana so much? Don’t name 3 of their albums
The Magnetic Fields
3/5
Scrubs soundtrack ass music
Pink Floyd
5/5
This album is so good, my future father in law got it for me on vinyl 2 christmases in a row
Buena Vista Social Club
3/5
Couldn’t understand a word they were saying. It was like they were speaking a whole different language
A Tribe Called Quest
4/5
Me when I see a sand castle:
Can I kick it? Yes I can!!
John Cale
2/5
This guy lived during the 60’s and thought that all British people could write music
Laibach
2/5
Haha what if we were ironically fascisf? Haha wouldn’t that be funny? Haha what if it was a joke that we made being nationalist a thing again haha right? Heyy where’s everyone going???
Pulp
3/5
Maybe I just don’t like Brit pop
Don McLean
3/5
How he gonna sing a whole song about Vincent Van Gogh and not mention the ear
Common
4/5
It sounded like the hey Arnold theme song
Steely Dan
4/5
Mmm pretzels
Marianne Faithfull
2/5
Oof ouch owie my ears
David Bowie
4/5
Would be a 5/5 but it loses some points for whatever the beginning of “Andy Warhol” is
5/5
When I saw this was the album of the day I was like YES!
If you don’t think that’s funny, my fiancée didn’t either
Prince
4/5
The baby was a bit much
Hugh Masekela
4/5
Ya like jazz?
Echo And The Bunnymen
3/5
Yawn!
Simon & Garfunkel
3/5
One time my roommate said he was making “Scarborough fair bread” and I said “what goes in that” and he said “parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme”
David Bowie
3/5
Not Bowie’s best, but still better than 99% of the other stuff on here
Michael Jackson
4/5
Why is the beginning of “off the wall” so spooky?
Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
3/5
I love the blues! And by that I mean I like being sad. This music is fine
Leonard Cohen
3/5
Store brand Bob Dylan
Santana
4/5
The perfect album for dropping acid with your older brother
Bob Dylan
2/5
Hour long anti smoking PSA
Cocteau Twins
4/5
Mac Demarco for people in 1990
Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
2/5
The music was great but the vibes were not.
SAULT
4/5
How are you gonna name an album “untitled” and then title it in the same breath
Lightning Bolt
1/5
This album sounds like when your 8 year old cousins come over and they ask to play your guitar
Stan Getz
3/5
Like Jazz? Why not jazz it up with extra jazz
The Undertones
2/5
Minus one star for ripping off Talking Heads
The Verve
3/5
One hit wonders
Iron Maiden
4/5
They made this as if they knew guitar hero would be a thing
The Pretty Things
3/5
They should have spent less time writing a story and more time writing better music
Sly & The Family Stone
3/5
I wish I lived in the 60s so I could have a nuanced take on this
The Notorious B.I.G.
5/5
Every rapper who dies early is contractually obligated to have songs like “I’m never gonna die!” Or “shoot me until I’m dead”
Genesis
3/5
They just copied Yes but go off
Yes
5/5
Anyone who doesn’t like this album can unfriend me
Bob Dylan
4/5
More like the Freeballin’ Bob Dylan
The Human League
2/5
Sounds like it was written and recorded in an alley
Jorge Ben Jor
4/5
I like the instrument that sounds like someone is washing the window
D'Angelo
3/5
Dad R&B
Kate Bush
3/5
Another member of the Bush family getting fame. What’s next for America? Jill Biden making a mixtape?
Can
4/5
German Pink Floyd. Pink Freud
Nick Drake
4/5
Nick drake = nickleback + drake
Crosby, Stills & Nash
5/5
This is what life should be like. Chillin on a couch outside the house with 2 dudes, singing songs and having an ice cold miller lite
Culture Club
2/5
What did they put in the water during 1980-1989 that made everyone write bad music?
Fugees
5/5
You know if the guy serving you food is mean to you the meal boutta be fire
Faust
2/5
They sound like they would be good live. Too bad they’re dead
The Clash
4/5
Whoever said punk is dead is wrong because I can still listen to music from the 70s
Mercury Rev
1/5
Tim Burton ass soundtrack
4/5
Every time a child in Africa dies, Bono claps his hands
Funkadelic
4/5
George Clinton really just says whatever he wants
The Divine Comedy
3/5
Fine. You can have a 3. But only if I never have to listen to you again
Megadeth
2/5
I’m not buying! this album
The Damned
3/5
It sounded like they made the album as a joke
The Flaming Lips
4/5
One time I saw the flaming lips live and Wayne Coyne had a fake baby. True story
David Bowie
3/5
In Philly they call this album “Hoagies”
Public Enemy
2/5
It was a mistake listening to this in the car because I couldn’t tell if it was the music or my windshield wipers
Stevie Wonder
4/5
Not Stevie on the drums on every track??
Faith No More
2/5
The Pokérap could have been on here and I wouldn’t have noticed
Korn
2/5
The band really named themselves after Corn
Talking Heads
4/5
The definition of “scaring the hoes” music
Kelela
3/5
Nice!
Miles Davis
3/5
I now understand what Billy Madison meant when he said “If peeing your pants is cool, I’m Miles Davis”
Blondie
3/5
Wow! An album full of cleaning supplies commercials music!
Belle & Sebastian
4/5
Wait… British people can make good music??
Tori Amos
1/5
If I was in middle school in 1992 this would have been my JAM
Pixies
4/5
Bone Machine sounds like it was written by Tim Robinson
Janis Joplin
5/5
This album hits harder when your brother played it non stop during college
Run-D.M.C.
3/5
I think I heard the DK rap on there
Ray Price
2/5
Imagine popping molly in the club to this album tho
Miles Davis
3/5
Hey Miles I think you accidentally recorded the band tuning their instruments for 40 minutes
The Incredible String Band
1/5
This is what being forced to go to church sounds like
James Brown
4/5
You just know he got laid after that
Neil Young
4/5
So Neil definitely wanted a bang maid, right?
4/5
Adding beetles in the bog as my ringtone
New Order
3/5
I listened to this on a cassette for the full effect
Creedence Clearwater Revival
4/5
The perfect album to eat crawfish to
Taylor Swift
4/5
Objectively good music that I subjectively don’t like
Goldie
1/5
Smash bros loading menu ass music
Gene Clark
2/5
Was a 3 until I got to the worst cover of “Stand by me” I’ve ever heard
The Byrds
4/5
My 6th grade history teacher’s name was Mrs. Bird, but my dad always spelled it Byrd. Maybe this is why. Or maybe he was just old
Solomon Burke
3/5
Ok now I understand why the Beatles were so popular
Patti Smith
4/5
I thought she was a knock off of the Talking Heads, but turns out they’re a knock off of her
David Bowie
3/5
Let me off at the next stop thanks
Calexico
4/5
Acoustic Queens of the Stone Age
The Jam
2/5
This album is timeless, in that it could have come out in any decade and I still wouldn’t have liked it
CHIC
3/5
The best thing disco ever did for me was have really good fries named after them
Beatles
5/5
This isn’t even the best album in the Beatles
The Pogues
5/5
This is the music of my people
The Good, The Bad & The Queen
3/5
Hey, this sounds like the “woo hoo!” Guy.
Hey, this IS the “woo hoo!” Guy!
Soundgarden
4/5
Gets a 4 at minimum because one of these songs was on Rock Band
Elliott Smith
5/5
This is what I needed to hear today
The Waterboys
4/5
This is also the music of my people, but this album doesn’t have the Dubliners on it
Coldplay
3/5
Did not know there were so many people who don’t like cold play. Add one more
My Bloody Valentine
3/5
I now understand shoe gaze
Meat Loaf
3/5
It’s times like this I wonder what if there was a rapper named Tuna Casserole
Hole
4/5
I listened to the whole album
Le Tigre
2/5
If they can write music, maybe I can too
Nas
4/5
If you told me this guy invented being cool, I would believe you
Fairport Convention
4/5
Fairport convention: Omg our friend Michael is so crazy! We should write a song telling people how crazy he is
Michael: [the most boring British man to ever live] hi
Tortoise
2/5
The band is very aptly named because their music is slow, dry, and I want to turn them into soup
Garbage
3/5
More like recycling because it was fine
Black Sabbath
4/5
If I were a 12 year old in 1970 I would have been really annoying about this album
Echo And The Bunnymen
2/5
Oh, so THIS is what bad punk sounds like. It’s just new wave music
Aphex Twin
2/5
That was Aphex Twin?? That was just a bunch of cheap walk cycles!!
Kraftwerk
2/5
WE ARE THE ROBOTS ok and?
The Afghan Whigs
3/5
Not bad although I do not remember a single thing about the album
Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
2/5
Paper Mario ass soundtrack
Kraftwerk
2/5
This is what happens when you give g*mers the courage to write music
Deep Purple
4/5
I think I listened to this in a fever dream but it was good
Leonard Cohen
3/5
Great sleepy time music, unfortunately I was not trying to sleep
Beatles
5/5
My least favorite Beatles album :/
The Allman Brothers Band
4/5
I thought it was almond brothers!! I was so excited for songs about nuts
Billy Joel
4/5
Thought it was Greatest Hits of Billy Joel for a second
Little Simz
3/5
British rapping just doesn’t sound right
Mariah Carey
2/5
The crazy part is I like some of her songs
Frank Zappa
4/5
Someone give these rats a popsicle!
System Of A Down
3/5
Metal is a silly little genre and you can’t convince me otherwise
Neil Young
4/5
Sending this to the boys chat before they all come over to smoke weed and fill their bellies with diet soda and play burnout revenge for the ps2
The Who
4/5
“Tommy’s Holiday Camp” awakened a deep memory when I was at camp and one of the scoutmasters woke us up 30 mins early with a big “GOOD MORNING CAMPERS”
Talking Heads
4/5
If you have a fear of music, DO NOT LISTEN!! You will be scared the ENTIRE time!!!
The Go-Go's
3/5
My cousin used to sing “we got the beat” poorly and that’s all I could hear and I’m sorry
Blue Cheer
3/5
Took the sound of Jimi Hendrix without any of the emotion
The White Stripes
4/5
Haha babe what if we pretended to be brother and sister haha I mean wouldn’t that be crazy haha as a joke!! Joking!!
The Soft Boys
5/5
Nothin better than gettin soft with the boys
Jane Weaver
2/5
Florence and the machine but the machine is broken
Portishead
2/5
Mom please come pick me up I’m scared
Ray Charles
3/5
I liked it but this ain’t country
Robbie Williams
2/5
Oh ok maybe British people don’t know how to make music
Suzanne Vega
2/5
She, sings, like, all, of, her, words, have, a, comma, after, them,
Harry Nilsson
3/5
Unbelievable that this guy and John Lennon were bffs for like 3 years
Janelle Monáe
3/5
She was better in Glass Onion
Johnny Cash
4/5
If this is what jail is like, I wanna go!
Julian Cope
2/5
It’s a shame when you read this is an artist’s best album and it’s still not that good
The Associates
2/5
UK new wave is something I wish I could have listened to after I died. And I mean that as an insult.
Pet Shop Boys
2/5
Playing “shopping” on the way to all my mall visits from now on
Muddy Waters
4/5
He’s hard, I’m hard, are there any more hard people I should know about???
Small Faces
4/5
It’s no captain beefheart, but it’s close
Jimi Hendrix
5/5
Electric Ladyland sounds nice, but I really want to visit Fireman City
Led Zeppelin
5/5
The length of “Since I’ve been loving you” is the exact amount of time it takes to get from my ex gf’s house to my house, a fact I learned at 4 in the morning in high school after sneaking out
Lupe Fiasco
3/5
Just made me hungry and thirsty
The Stooges
2/5
In a not unexpected move, “we will fall” made the albums rating fall from a 3 to a 2
Portishead
2/5
Music to play while you and your friends sneak into a graveyard in high school
Amy Winehouse
4/5
Meghan Trainor music if it was good
OutKast
4/5
This here is what we call dad rap
The The
2/5
The The The album isn’t very good. Damn it now The doesn’t sound like a word anymore
Willie Nelson
3/5
Willie Nelson let me down
Rahul Dev Burman
4/5
I’m also gonna review this on Letterboxd because I think it counts as having watched it
Buzzcocks
2/5
The title is accurate because I really do wish I listened to another music
Shuggie Otis
4/5
A great listen on the treadmill
Marvin Gaye
5/5
What’s goin on? What’s happening? Who are you?? How did you get in my house???
Marvin Gaye
4/5
Great vibes on the way to Portugal 🇵🇹
Kacey Musgraves
3/5
Sheryl Crow ran so Kacey Musgraves could walk
Dolly Parton
4/5
You just know her coat of many colors went hard
Boards of Canada
2/5
Great music to put in the background at a nice low volume. And by low volume I mean 0
Steely Dan
5/5
No babe when I said I wanted to Peg I meant Steely Dan! Honest!
Led Zeppelin
5/5
Beck
3/5
When this album came out, it was ahead of its time. Unfortunately, I’m listening to it 30 years later, so it feels behind my current time.
The Stranglers
4/5
I’m a sucker for any band with a good bassist
Herbie Hancock
4/5
It’s like a party in my head and everyone’s invited!
Girls Against Boys
2/5
I don’t get all the hate. I do get all of the dislike though
The Bees
3/5
Every good band begins with a B. The Beatles. The Beach Boys. The beastie boys. The Bees also begins with a B but don’t let that fool you
Kendrick Lamar
5/5
Good kid, maad city, great album, bad haircut
Bill Callahan
1/5
Sometimes I wish i we’re an eagle so I didn’t have to listen to this album
Baaba Maal
2/5
The kind of music my older brother would put on and when everyone complained to him he would go “I never complain about your music!!”
Funkadelic
5/5
If you do not like this album then you are super stupid !! Ha like the song
Fugazi
2/5
Repeater? I hardly know her!
Tangerine Dream
1/5
“One of the most influential electronic albums ever!!!” My dude this is just 1 note with some rain, wind, and ocean sound effects over it for like 45 minutes
The Band
3/5
They really just chose the default band name
Elvis Presley
3/5
Great show! Too bad I fuckin hate Elvis :)
Joan Armatrading
2/5
She walked so Tracy Chapman could vroom vroom in her fast car
Jeff Buckley
3/5
Anyone who wrote the song from Shrek is a friend of mine
Radiohead
4/5
Baby’s got depends… oh no…
Stan Getz
4/5
It’s nice :) gonna save this one for when I cook dinner high as fuck
Radiohead
4/5
When will Radiohead learn that 3 minutes of ambient noise doesn’t make for good music
Talking Heads
5/5
Once again the Talking Heads lied to me. There are nowhere near 77 tracks on this album
Al Green
4/5
Gonna tell my kids this was the birth o of Al
Kendrick Lamar
5/5
This didn’t win the Grammy and I will never forgive Taylor swift for it
Cypress Hill
3/5
The kind of music my parents would tell me to turn down, and they wouldn’t be wrong
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
4/5
The genre of this album is “music”
Christina Aguilera
2/5
The kind of album you’re not just meant to listen to, but one you’re meant to get up and dance to! Unfortunately I was listening to it
The Velvet Underground
2/5
Full on disassociated while listening to sister ray
3/5
Bonus tracks for the album:
If you’re gunna cheat, at least do it to my face
Winners never cheat, but cheaters never lose
Cheat cheat (it’s all you do (but I love you))
AC/DC
4/5
In high school one of my friends said he “liked music without sexual overtones, like AC/DC” we played the album and just about got to “Givin the dog a bone” before he realized his mistake
John Grant
3/5
The kind of music your friend would show you in high school and you would obsess over and then you’d go to a concert and it’d be empty
Nick Drake
4/5
RIP Nick Drake. You would have loved Drake and Josh, which aired on Nick.
Stevie Wonder
5/5
Imagine how good he’d be if he could see
Jacques Brel
3/5
The French Frank Sinatra. Franc Senêtre
Nirvana
4/5
Just woke up from a 30 year coma. Can’t wait to see what these guys put out since then!
Rush
4/5
The first album I ever bought as a teenager, and haven’t listened to it since
Booker T. & The MG's
3/5
Royalty free music you can play in the background of a high school video project
TV On The Radio
3/5
Listened to Tv on the radio on my phone in my couch on my floor on earth on space
Beastie Boys
5/5
Good thing the Beastie Boys weren’t a thing when I was in college because I would have been really fucking annoying about it
Arcade Fire
3/5
Quintessential indie, which means they’re popular, which means they’re not actually indie, which means… something?
Fatboy Slim
3/5
Rip Fatboy Slim. You would have loved garage band
Beatles
5/5
The Beatles got good when they stopped writing songs about love and start writing about taking naps, submarines, and taxes
Syd Barrett
2/5
More like Brown Floyd. Because it sounds like doo doo
Beatles
5/5
The first Beatles album I ever listened to at 7 years old. I was like “they can drive my WHAT???”
Barry Adamson
1/5
Just…. No
Adam & The Ants
2/5
Actually it’s pronounced “Adam and the Aunts”
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
3/5
I love pre grunge :) except when it’s post folk :(
The KLF
2/5
Sorry electronica really ain’t my thing
Van Halen
5/5
I now understand why the 80’s were like that. Everyone was trying to copy Van Halen
Lynyrd Skynyrd
4/5
The whole time I was like play freebird! And then they did!!
Queen
5/5
Yaaaasss qween rock it 👏
Pink Floyd
4/5
So nice of Pink Floyd to write an album about Mark Wahlburg!
The Hives
3/5
More like my old not favorite band
Depeche Mode
2/5
I listened to this on Depeche Mode. And by that I mean I sped through all the bits I didn’t like (because depeche is French for hurry the fuck up)
Sonic Youth
4/5
Finally a band for Sonic the hedgehog fans like me!
Todd Rundgren
3/5
He is neither a wizard nor a true star
Beth Orton
3/5
Loved the one that sounded right off the Metroid Prime soundtrack
Nine Inch Nails
3/5
Do their fans call themselves the knights who say NIN?
Grant Lee Buffalo
2/5
Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo. And by that I mean I don’t like this album very much
Miles Davis
5/5
I’m kind of blue da ba dee da ba die
Steely Dan
5/5
Give me a miller high life, a grill, a cigarette, and Steely Dan and you will give me happiness
The Yardbirds
4/5
I wonder if their engineer’s name was Roger. Seems like a nice dude
Sade
3/5
It’s like Marvin Gaye met a girl with no talent and had a baby with some talent
The Isley Brothers
4/5
Throwing this on at the next party and seeing who starts dancing first
Pantera
3/5
Expected to hate it - didn’t hate it - is that a win?
The White Stripes
3/5
I’m confused so is he talking to Satan or is he Satan
Electric Light Orchestra
4/5
When you’re a child, you think ELO is the best band ever. Then when you’re a teen, you think you’re too cool for ELO. And then when you’re an adult, you realize ELO is only pretty good.
The Stooges
4/5
Steamy punk
David Ackles
2/5
The second he started singing is the second he lost me
The Smashing Pumpkins
4/5
Perfect music to listen to right after Halloween
Bad Company
4/5
There’s no better experience in life than listening to the song Bad Company by the band Bad Company on the album Bad Company while I’m playing the game Battlefield: Bad Company and I have my rude friends over (they are bad company) who all work for Amazon (a bad company)
Ryan Adams
2/5
It’s like he went to Bob Dylan’s house to raid his fridge. But he forgot to bring a cooler so the food went bad
Prince
4/5
Great music, greater vibe, best hot chicken in Nashville
Dion
2/5
Even worse than his daughter Celine
The United States Of America
4/5
Fastest turnaround from a 1 to a 4 I’ve ever seen
The Verve
2/5
The verve only have one good song and and it’s not even on this album
Michael Jackson
5/5
Still blows my mind that he released Thriller one week AFTER Halloween
Tom Waits
1/5
Tom better stop waiting because I will never find his music interesting
Astrud Gilberto
3/5
WARNING!!! Do NOT misspell Astrud! There’s only one s and the t comes BEFORE the u!!
Jack White
3/5
Finally, Jack White goes solo and can use more than 2 instruments in a song!
The Byrds
4/5
These guys are so ahead of their time - we haven’t even found the fourth dimension yet
Eagles
3/5
I can’t believe I’m typing this but Marcel the shell with shoes on really ruined “peaceful easy feeling” for me
George Michael
3/5
The first time I heard “freedom!” Was on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which means that I can’t take it seriously. Like at all
Guns N' Roses
4/5
Today on “songs that other media has ruined for me”: stepbrothers ruins sweet child o mine
The Specials
4/5
RIP the specials. You would have love the 90s
David Bowie
5/5
Is it pronounced “Bowie” or “Bowie”?
Sufjan Stevens
3/5
It’s like if Elliott Smith was from Chicago
Saint Etienne
2/5
You can’t open with a terrible cover of Neil Young and expect me to like the rest of your album
2/5
They sound like a band at a bar that I definitely did not pay a cover to hear
Muddy Waters
4/5
Times like these remind me that deep down, we’re all just hoochie coochie men
Jimi Hendrix
5/5
Of course I’m experienced ! (I say as a LIE 😈)
Django Django
4/5
Took a toilet nap at work while listening to skies over Cairo and had a dream about Mario in a desert level
Sheryl Crow
4/5
Sheryl Crow is my waifu
Dire Straits
4/5
One of the greatest guitarists playing some of the most dogshit music
Grateful Dead
4/5
I’ve been listening to shakedown street for 3 days and they just got the end of the first verse…..
Björk
1/5
More like 1001 albums that make you die
Massive Attack
2/5
Music made for a high school “rave” in someone’s parents’ basement that starts at 6:30 and ends at 9
Foo Fighters
4/5
Ladies and gentlemen… foo FIGHTERS
The Stone Roses
3/5
Not at all like The Rolling Stones plus Guns N’ Roses
Minor Threat
4/5
Hell fucking yeah
Radiohead
4/5
Yep, that sure is Radiohead alright
Joni Mitchell
3/5
Maybe the lawns are hissing because she sucks
Bill Evans Trio
4/5
Yep, that’s Jazz alright
The Adverts
2/5
Maybe one chord would have been better…
Baaba Maal
3/5
The kinda music that plays in an adventure movie when they go to a hot country in the Middle East
Curtis Mayfield
4/5
I wish I was as cool as Curtis Mayfield….
Siouxsie And The Banshees
2/5
Ban she’s? In my America? I don’t think so
The Only Ones
3/5
British people who can’t sing shouldn’t sing
Peter Gabriel
4/5
The man named after angels!
Eminem
5/5
Eminem be like “I’m Eminem I like eating m and ms every now and then [m and m crunching sound]”
Madness
3/5
The album aged even worse than the cover art
Brian Wilson
4/5
If Mr Beach Boy wants to make music as his form of therapy I’m here for it
The Velvet Underground
4/5
What one tuner would have done for them!
Led Zeppelin
5/5
Eric Clapton can suck it
Slayer
2/5
The kind of music they made so your mom could tell you to turn it down
3/5
Jumped out of my chair when I heard Thom Yorke
Boston
4/5
Solid bangers that sound too good to have been recorded in a basement in Watertown
Meat Puppets
4/5
The lead singer sounds like he’s constantly on the verge of tears, which is pretty apt because that’s how I was living at Villanova when I first got into the album
Kanye West
5/5
“As soon as they like you make them unlike you” sure got the crowd fucking hating this guy
Dr. Dre
5/5
I’m starting to think this guy isn’t even a doctor
Songhoy Blues
4/5
What a great album that I’ll promptly forget and never listen to again
Paul Revere & The Raiders
3/5
Lost me at “I wrote this song for a girl I don’t even know yet….” Predatory ass music
Love
3/5
It’s like the soundtrack to a movie that I didn’t want to watch
The Rolling Stones
4/5
Why are his fingers sticky…..? Ew
Jefferson Airplane
3/5
Good thing I had a surrealistic pillow because this bored me to sleep
Red Hot Chili Peppers
4/5
John Frusciante isn’t even the best guitarists in the Red Hot Chili Peppers
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
2/5
How’d he get an AI image generator for the cover in 2019?
Kanye West
5/5
Makes me want to have dropped out of college!
Astor Piazzolla
5/5
I bet the mosh pit went fucking HARD
1/5
This is the music that they play in the elevator on the way to hell, but 3 minutes in you realize you’re already in hell
LTJ Bukem
1/5
Listening to this the week before Christmas makes me feel like the grinch because both of us hate NOISE
Alice In Chains
4/5
Grungeitize me captain
The Cure
3/5
I know their instruments aren’t out of tune, but if their instruments aren’t out of tune, then why do their instruments sound like they’re out of tune?
Sister Sledge
4/5
If you were born between 1975-1980, there’s a 50% chance you were conceived to this album
King Crimson
4/5
Brilliant album ruined by 12 minutes of literal silence in the middle
Jamiroquai
4/5
So funky I think I need to get tested for something
Various Artists
4/5
What an exciting Christmas present to open
Todd Rundgren
4/5
Can’t believe my parents used to listen to this trash. 4 stars
Traffic
3/5
A slog to get through but not without its exciting parts - just like highway traffic!
Joy Division
4/5
It’s like if Talking Heads only wrote very sad music and his suit were too small
Tim Buckley
2/5
Tim should retire and have a son and teach him guitar. I think it’d go much better for him
Duke Ellington
4/5
Finally an album for me - a lover of cigarettes
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
4/5
Garbage name but great background music
Air
4/5
It’s like the opposite of daft punk - adept conformist?
The Charlatans
3/5
Really good for Brit pop! Unfortunately I don’t usually like Brit pop
The Streets
1/5
I’ll review this album like The Streets would:
Dis album is bad
It made me quite…..
Sad!
It’s ova ….. and I’m ….. glad
Do ya fink he Eva kneew ‘is dad?
Adele
3/5
I don’t know who Adele’s ex his, but his dick must be huuuuge
Keith Jarrett
3/5
For the love of god, please hire 1 (one) more musician
Robert Wyatt
2/5
So jazzy but the guy needs to hire a better singer
Violent Femmes
3/5
It’s like Lou Reed had a baby with the Soft Boys, but then that baby had a baby with the Cure
Run-D.M.C.
4/5
Great album, would be even better if they had a third guy who said the last word of the rap when they said it
Sonic Youth
3/5
Was not aware that Sonic the Hedgehog was in a band in his younger days!
Queen
5/5
Only a few bands can write the worst songs of all time and still make me love them
Siouxsie And The Banshees
2/5
The perfect music to play from a cassette while hanging at the mall on a Friday with the besties
MC Solaar
3/5
Is this what Kanye based N****s in Paris on?
Devendra Banhart
2/5
Clearly a gifted musician but he needs to find a friend to fix his garbage lyrics
Jane's Addiction
4/5
Spoiler alert: they never say what Jane is addicted to
Oasis
4/5
They’re the new Beatles. And by that I mean they’re British and nothing else
Green Day
5/5
Is now a good time to mention how Johnny Test stole American Idiot for its theme song?
Kings of Leon
4/5
Leon has no king. Leon NEEDS no king
John Lennon
5/5
Imagine not listening to this album because John Lennon is a bad guy and then listening to Sabrina Carpenter
Donald Fagen
3/5
Dan just isn’t the same without Steely… or is this steely?
Dire Straits
4/5
One of the best guitarists in our time playing some of the most boring music
Os Mutantes
3/5
How do you say “ok” in Portuguese
Killing Joke
3/5
You’re laughing. They killed jokes and you’re laughing
Derek & The Dominos
4/5
Missing my favorite Eric Clapton song, “don’t leave your window open while you’re doing cocaine”
5/5
JUDAS!! JUDAS!! HAS ANYONE SEEN MY FRIEND JUDAS??
Elton John
4/5
The madman!!! He’s a madman!!! He played piano really good
Stephen Stills
4/5
Anyone in the Crosby stills Nash young cinematic universe is a friend of mine
Stevie Wonder
5/5
Finally a fun, flamboyant, and full-fledged album from famous fingers of fine fellow Fevie Fonder
The Sabres Of Paradise
2/5
I think they recorded this in a toilet. Not a bathroom, a toilet
Bob Marley & The Wailers
5/5
Imagining smoking a great big spliff to this while sitting at my desk in the office
Bauhaus
1/5
They really took my least favorite kinds of music (English, 80s, noise) and made it into my worst nightmare
N.E.R.D
3/5
Can’t believe this was made by a man made out of legos
Air
2/5
An album that gives the experience of watching a movie but playing on your phone the whole time
Jimmy Smith
4/5
This album will only leave you hungry for chicken, do not listen!
Gillian Welch
3/5
O brother where art thou core
The Black Crowes
2/5
Can’t decide if I’d like it better as a cover band of the black keys and counting crows
Fiona Apple
2/5
A less slutty version of Lana Del Rey
Cyndi Lauper
3/5
She’s so unusual! If by unusual you mean completely usual
Suede
4/5
Suede
Creedence Clearwater Revival
5/5
If this is Cosmo’s factory, I’d love to hear what Wanda has to offer
Soft Machine
2/5
So ahead of their time and influential! They influenced the sound of the dial up modem
Sonic Youth
3/5
Oh what the magic of a simple guitar tuner would do for them
Robert Wyatt
1/5
Funny how he called the second song “last straw” because it was when I decided I didn’t like the album!