1984

Cheesy 80- tals "hair metal". Låter jätte eighties och har allmänt inte förändrats särskilt bra.

Just a genuinely annoying fucking album. I would bet money on every song here being featured prominently in some shlocky Happy Madison production or something of that ilk. Highlights (AKA Things I hated the least) Jump: *** I'll Wait: *** House of Pain: ** 1/2

“Hair Metal” is the worst genre of music

Dogshit except for 3 things and they are not enough: 1) Occasional pyrotechnics from Ed. His influential style has become the norm by this point, but he's still great at it. 2) 'Jump' is a great pop single. 3) That thing where Dave sounds like he was out in the garden by the barbecue and someone calls him inside and he's like: "wuh, aaaaaaaaah. hey oh, yeah!" These songs are bad, ZZ Top want their riffs back and the rest is hair metal with surprisingly dull sounding guitar and dodgy song subjects and lyrics. The band do have a driving AC/DC style chug, but so do AC/DC so listen to them. This did not even make me want to buy a Camaro IROC with the bumper hanging off or get a mullet like 'Eliminator' does. Pan-a-ma! Panama-hah! Pan-a-ma! It's on the street! The heat is (doof doof doof doof) on.

Not for me 1/5

God I hated this. Listening once was too much - I refuse to listen again.

Rubbish. Music as pretentious as the album cover.

This is unpleasant

Utterly uninspiring with a healthy dose of childish misogyny. Was going to get a 2 for the fun guitar playing but, nah.

Nothing jumped out at me.

"To summarise...this album and the genre it belongs too should be sealed in a large container and buried in a secret location...never to be found and/or opened again. 0 Stars!" Couldn't have said it better

80s hair metal just doesn't hold up at all today. From someone with no nostalgic attachment to this kind of music, there's nothing positive or enjoyable I can pull from it aside from a few cool instrumental parts.

I admit it, I just loathe classic rock like this. So much of this is so cringe

Is this hard rock? Unmelodious songs and bad vocals that destroy the songs that sometimes start well. Maybe VH should have done more pop songs.

Juvenile.

no

It's a no from me, This album wasn't made for me, I'm sorry. Just no lyrics or rock elements that got me going. Rating: 1/5 Playlist Track: Drop Dead Legs? Date Listened: 10/01/2024

Terrible cover, terrible music.

22/100

Please go and bore someone else with your silly songs. If you wanna be macho make real macho songs.

Was kinda ass ngl

Yeah... no. This is of a time that I think is best forgotten. On the plus side, it's only 33 minutes long.

One word comes to mind: Clown-Metal.

Awful stuff. Please let me listen to something that isn't 80s American rock.

Jump, track 2, is a thing Nelson hates. We didn't like the album. :( No shade. Uninspiring and repetitive. Best tracks: Panama, I'll Wait

Dated synths, cheesy lyrics, blatant laziness musically and sonically, this record has everything in the shameful sellout checklist!

shit

Poor songwriting and a soulless frontman performance make this iconic ‘80s rock album just simply “rock music” to the barest of bones. The main selling point of Van Halen, being Eddie as the guitarist, displays him showing pure musicianship with little artistic merit, leaving me with a “nothing” taste in my mouth after this album ended.

Big haired shite.

Dreadful on so many levels.

Miserable Didn't listen

Yuck Fav track: Jump

It's Top Jimmy, HE'S the king You know, when Jump kicked this thing off I was like hey, maybe Eddie and the gang are just a bit of fun. We've all enjoyed some synth power-chords. A classic cheeseburger record! What followed was some of the most stupendously annoying cock-rock I have ever had the displeasure of hearing. I thought Drop Dead Legs was handily the worst song I had heard doing this project, but then Hot For Teacher comes along and wins it by a country mile! What I wouldn't have given to tear out this man's larynx after the fifteenth 'neeyyoww', a vocalisation that reminded me in spirit of a baby being sick onto its bib. Favourite track and only redeeming feature of the album is Jump.

‘Jump’ is a decent song… but the Glee version is superior. Other than that, this album was trash, 33 minutes that felt like an eternity in hellfire.

I did not listen to Jump as like the entire population of earth I have heard it a billion times. The rest of the album is somehow worse..Jump has at least a pop sensibility. The rest is hair metal with a touch of synth. An album with no redeeming features at all. As you listen you can hear how it was written for the videos.

Not familiar with Van Halen, but had an impression of them in my head... Jump came on... oh shit, I got Van Halen wrong. Rest of the album... I got Van Halen right. One good song, the rest was woeful, shit lyrics, boring. I am feeling shame listening to it. 1* despite Jump

ugh, sorry not my thing at all. can't listen to this whole thing.

1 for Jump being such a big hit. I’m being very generous here.

Eddie's a great player, and "Jump" was perfectly fine. But this band usually just bores me to tears.

Hair Rock has an age cap that expired decades ago. 1.0

The only thing worse than cheesy butt rock wankery is cheesy butt rock wankery with cheesier synths.

Coming in at 33 minutes, at least it's a short one..

I hate this.

Tää bändi/genre ei oo kyllä tarkoitettu mulle. Vielä huonompi kuin debyytti, 0/5.

not for me.

Liked the album but not much variance in beat / rhythms after 4th song

1 1/2, inte min kopp alls

Oh mein gott halts maul

nein

Not more hair rock. Awful

Fan ta detta album

Stopped listening halfway through Hot for Teacher. Genuinely awful

I hated it

Heb ik niet veel mee.

Aguanté hasta la quinta canción y lo quité. Menudo rollo.

Slucham pierwszy raz, choc sama nazwa obila mi sie o uszy po tym jak Van Halen od ktorego grupa bierze nazwa sie przekrecil na druga strone, przed tym znalem jedynie z kawalkow granych z radia, bo juz po drugim tracku wiem co to jest, bo kto nie zna jumpa, tak klasycznie syntezatorowy kawalek, a im dalej w albumik tym wiecej wyjcowania i ciezkiego walenia po instrumentach, czyli jak dla mnie najgorszego co moge uslyszec, zaraz po slunskich szlagierach, czare goryczny przelal kawalek girl gone bad, zwlaszcza jego druga polowa ktora zamiast wokali wykorzystuje rytmiczne wycie, no bo przeciez girl gone bad, wiec zaczelo sie jak jakis synth poipowy albumik rozkrecalo sie rock z elentami synthu, a konczylo jak metal dla boomerow hamerykanskich, a to wszystko w 33 minuty, na plejliste wrzucam kawalek ktory juz znalem, czyli jump, bo chyba byl on najbardziejsluchalnym elementem calego albumika

Kind of cool

nope