1984

Got it bad. So bad.

encapsulates early '80's to a T.

Jump is a decent pop song, but otherwise this record was quite mediocre 80's hard rock

Few good tracks and others empty stuff with 80s sounds. Next week I wont remember much about this album.

Van Halen was never in my rotation, I think they edge too close to the technical side of hard rock for my liking. One can't deny Eddie VH's skills as a player, but guitar heroes are just not my thing. Lots of familiar songs. None of the unfamiliar songs grabbed my interest, but few of the hit songs are cool tracks.

Well, this is going to be a tough listen Really not my thing Jump is great.

Maybe this has aged but it wasn’t for me.

Not bad for hair metal. Stupid childish lyrics but the addition of synths makes the music interesting.

favs: - jump - drop dead legs

Ahh fine. Not really for me. I think I’m just getting a bit tired of 80s rock? Like it’s still fun but I’m just kind of over it in general lately. The artwork is creepy too!

There was a really sick guitar solo in the second or third song, but other than that, what a waste of good Saturday morning cleaning music time.

Not quite my style, but some good songs

“jump” is a hit, not really something i’d put on myself but enjoy when i hear it elsewhere. “house of pain” was great, it felt like the only “metal”, hard rock song on here. most of these songs aren’t really my thing lyrically, or sound wise tbh. it’s too much. 2/5

Van Halen was a band I tried to get into in middle school when I was learning guitar because Eddie was supposed to be a guitar god and all pre-teens learning guitar think they can grow up to be guitar gods too. Well, I quickly learned that the gimmicky 80s pop infused hard rock with all its soulless guitar shredding just wasn't for me. If you hadn't guessed, I went into this one with a pretty hard bias against Van Halen, but I tried to put that aside and honestly, I was fairly surprised. This wasn't nearly as gimmicky or soulless as I remembered. It was actually kind of a fun listen! That said, it does feel like music that only someone who is stuck in memories of their prime high school days in the 80s would listen to regularly.

On which the band tries synths and sounds like every other 80s rock except for the guitar, which is amazing but frequently shoehorned in, and Dave’s characteristic swagger, which is mainly incoherent. Their first record is ten million times better, but Jump and Panama are terrific and the rest? Not so much.

Overplayed not really that great after all these years. I don't think it aged well. Definitely not a go to album for Van Halen. Just Meh

Jump is sort of alright but only just. Rest is somewhere between uninterresting and annoying.

Most people will tell you that David Lee Roth leaving and Sammy Hagar replacing him is when Van Halen "lost it." That's not entirely true, 1984 is a huge drop off from VH's previous work. It's a mishmash of pop and rock with very little of the harder music they had been known for. I was in high school came out so nostalgia wants to score it higher but in actually listening to it again, it's just not that good.

1* extra for the hits. For the rest: lame lame lame

Can’t say I really cared for any of these songs, not memorable at all

Not my cup of tea

Haven’t I heard this already? It’s fine

You likely know two or three songs from this one even if you haven't heard it, but all three of those songs already have major flaws. "Jump" and "Panama" are both catchy but a little too simple, while "Hot For Teacher" is less a song and more a show of the band's instrumental prowess over some hastily written lyrics. I might like "I'll Wait" more than any of those songs, but all of it is pretty standard 80's hard rock fleshed out with some synths. A little more variety or better lyrics might save this a bit. As it is this is the same so-so formula repeated for pretty much every song.

Ciepłe kluchy

'Top Jimmy' made me think this would be a fairly good album, 'Drop Dead Legs' put a swift end to that. 'Panama' is excellent and easily the best song on this album. I'm not actually a big fan of 'Jump', maybe I just think it's too long or overplayed. 'Hot for Teacher' could have been good if it was about something that isn't so damn cringe for 27-30 year olds to write. I don't think I've ever been excited about a guitar solo and they often feel a little unnecessary. This album is primarily guitar solos.

I can only speculate that Eddie embraced synths in order to save his fingers from the constant onslaught of women and requested guitar solos. Roth was adamantly against it and I would have to agree, except that Jump is more famous and recognizable than any of Eddie's riffs. Rich and famous has a price, and the price this time was being cemented into history as just another group known for Redneck anthems. Hope they didn't spend it all. 4/10

Van Halen can fucking play but outside of the hits, I didn't get a lot out of this. 80's hair metal isn't really my thing anyways. 4/10

Generic 80s album, for me personally. Nothing special.

Man, I think this is the first one where I've gone 'just not for me this'. Jump and Panama are listenable but there's not a single tune elsewhere I'd go back to. Best song: Jump

I'm soooo tired of hearing "Jump," especially since it's not a very strong song. Maybe it's 80's hair metal bands that I'm tired of - the attitude, the excess, the indulgence and the misogyny. Whatever the case, this sucks rocks.

So much talent for such little payoff. I guess I had to be there

Hairspray, stale cigarettes, and cocaine. I recognize EVH as one of the greatest guitarists of all time but I just can't stomach David Lee Roth. I'll Wait is my favorite song on the album - figures it's the one where they aren't as bombastic.

it was fine, but i was bored the whole time.

Особенно не впечатлило.

middle aged american republican driving a pickup truck. solid 2 cuz it is enjoyable

Encapsulates that sound synonymous with the 80s. Lots to like here. Some great tracks for road trips.

Brings you directly back to the 80s with the synthesizer and the album cover, classic.

Not a fan, especially of the David Lee Roth era. I can appreciate Eddie’s talent, but that’s about it. I always disliked their drum sound. Way too sexist and way too juvenile. Disliked them back then and still do.

I have mixed feelings with this album because I love the instruments but I can't stand the lyrics or voice! I also hate Jump because my old gym teacher used to play it at the end of every single class. I didn't know Van Halen was behind it.

Both stars are for 'Jump'. If anyone's in doubt that the rest of this album is embarrassingly juvenile parp there's a track speculating about what the new teacher will look like to set your expectation correctly.

Pretty mid nothing crazy 2/5

I always loved Jump but never got into Van Halen. This album didn’t help me This is the first album I found a slog to listen to. “I’ll wait” and “Jump” are good. The rest are forgettable except “Top Jimmy” which is just bad. This is the epitome of Dad Rock. Something that they will tell their kids is amazing but really, only white men in their late 50s or 60s like. I’m not sure if I should give it a 1 star or a 2 star for “Jump” alone

Heard jump and Panama and hot for teacher a bunch growing up in the 80s and 90s, hard to hear them with fresh ears. Album is ok but just not connecting with me, not enough depth for my taste. If I was a high schooler in the 80s I am sure this would hit different for me

IT's a bad album but it feels like the best album of all time

This felt surprisingly mediocre to me. I knew the big hits off it (Jump, Panama, Hot for Teacher), but everything else was very unremarkable. I can’t imagine this being an album I’d listen to again.

Good guitar work however I've just never been a fan of the vocals from Van Halen or majority of their hair metal contemporaries. Probably the most annoying genre of seppo music.

Wow... this was a disappointment. I've been surrounded by the music Van Halen for decades now. I know the singles. I know the history. But I never checked out a record. Not for any particular reason, it was just a blindspot in my listening. Teenage me fucked up when digging into classic rock bands I guess. Sooo I was excited when this album came up. I know the singles. I love Eruption. I love Hot For Teacher. I love Jump. I tolerate Panama. I figured they'd have at least one good album in them. But holy shit, I was wrong. Outside of the 3 big songs and that cool synth intro, this album fucking sucks... and it really feels like it's Eddie Van Halen's fault. He is the best and worst part of this album. When the riffs and the synths hit, they are amazing... iconic even. But when they're bad, they're "inspire multiple generations of dickhead guitar wanker-y" bad. "Top Jimmy" is trash. Those harmonics, that ugly, overcomplicated riff. Why Eddie? Why? And why did so many shit guitarists rip this off? It's hideous. "i'll wait" is a boring, cheesy synth ballad that I had never heard before despite it being the second single to this album. I guess it was lost to time and i'm not mad about that. This is the only Van Halen ballad I've ever heard, and it really doesn't work. Maybe this one's Roth's fault... his charm doesn't work here. O, and it has a big cheesy guitar solo, that also sucks... so Eddie is not off the hook on this one. The other 3 tracks just have garburator solos and ugly guitar riffs that would soon become hard rock cliches. I just can't. I didn't know so much bad rock music was Eddie's fault. That rat bastard... RIP. It's only a 30 minute album, but it felt sooo long. Maybe you have to be a 15 year old boy hearing this before the fall of the Berlin wall to understand it? I guess I'll never know. Some positives.... 1984 - this is some nice, tasteful, epic 80s synth Jump - It's a fuckin' hard rock pop banger. Love it. Love the synth. Big fan. Hot For Teacher - The best Van Halen song of all time in my opinion. THE DRUMS... the drums alone are fucking iconic... they have this almost big band, rolling vibe. The guitar riff is incredible... that opening solo is just... chefs kiss. David Lee Roth is just being charismatic and horny as hell and it's great. A horny sex anthem written by a 30 year old for teenagers shouldn't work, but weirdly it does. Panama - i tolerate. It's better than the rest of the album and i get that it's a good song... but I don't like it. It's overrated. I remember vividly when I was a teenager, my uncle asked me if I liked Van Halen... and I said I don't get Panama... it's not good. And he said.... someday, when you're an adult, you'll go to a strip club and you'll see a beautiful lady dance to Panama and take off her clothes... only then will you understand that song. As far as i know, I haven't seen someone strip to Panama yet, so it's still lost on me. I really hope no one is stripping to the deep cuts on this album. I don't even think nudity could save those songs.

Okay - not really my style

It’s really just 2.5 good songs and the rest filled with “girls girls girls” rubbish and some decent guitar playing. 4/10

best thing you can say about this is that it's very short

Represents an era but I don’t love it. Eddie can rip on the guitar but with limited exceptions the lyrics and songs are largely forgettable.

not my thing

interesting that everyone is pretty much giving this a 1 or a 5 i don't really have an opinion it's just okay dad rock

At its core, the album remains American soft-rock, as the Spinal-Tapesque 'Hot for Teacher' demonstrates. Dave Lee Roth is your classic 80s cock rocker, and cringe-inducingly creepy ("Reach down between my leg and ease the seat back"). Never do the lyrics have anything of significance or importance to say. The title track, which opens the album, sounds like when Maggie Philbin used to get some amateur electronics 'scientist' in the Tomorrow's World studio to demonstrate the future sound of music via a home-manufactured computer. VH spends most of his time sweep-picking or tapping his way at the speed of light around the entirety of the fretboard. Yes technically impressive but George Harrison'd be spinning in his grave if he wasn't dead. 'Jump' takes its rightful place as an 80s soft classic. But an album that's all sizzle and no steak.

It's a very American album, not really the sort of thing I would have listened to in my youth (when it first came out) or since. The only track I knew before listening was Jump, which is an excellent track. I was a bit disappointed by the rest of the album though. Perhaps I need to buy myself a gun and shoot a few schools up to fully appreciate it.

Eh this wasn't for me

Panama and I'll wait are alright The rest is rather meh imo And even though I like masturbatory guitar solos, it doesn't really catch me here

I’m sure this ripped back in the day, and Jump in particular must’ve sounded so fresh and exciting. But wasn’t really for me. Don’t really like his voice. Some of the frantic guitar shredding is cool, but generally came across a bit bland and repetitive (though I’m sure this would improve significantly played LOUD on a proper stereo and not my dinky headphones!) Dad & Dust - Unsure

#ВидатнийАльбомЩодня Van Halen - 1984 (1984) Я обожнюю однойменний дебютний альбом Van Halen. Не дивлячись на те, що він вийшов у 78-у році, він досі є для мене одним із найулюбленіших «гітарних» альбомів. Едді Ван Галлен, безумовно є майстром своєї справи, справжній віртуоз, що виклався на повну на дебютному альбомі, створивши одну з “найдрайвовіших рок-н-рольних” речей за увесь час. Потім були трохи слабші та більш металеві Van Halen II, Women and Children First та Fair Warning, які можливо і не були настільки «вибуховими» як перший альбом, але все ж мали той самий несамовитий драйв. На 1984 це змінилось. Так, альбом як і раніше являє собою бадьорий hard rock, але із великим впливом, популярної на той час, синтезаторної попмузики. Завдяки цьому він і досяг величезної популярності. Проте, чи була така зміна потрібна гурту в той момент? Чисто з погляду просування - безумовно розумний крок, але в довгостроковій перспективі, він не відчувається чимось видатним - типовий клішований хард/попрок, позбавлений майже всього шарму який до цього мав гурт. В ньому вже не відчувається тої енергії та емоцій - все максимально рівно, обережно та «модно». Більшість альбому відчувається пустою та безідейною, а тексти перетворилися з «веселої вечірки»на відвертий крінж. Тож у гонитві за трендом, гурт втратив своє обличчя, сліпо намагаючись слідувати за трендами без творчого переосмислення. У висновку - маємо доволі посередній альбом, що хоч часом і непогано звучить, але натомість дуже погано проходить перевірку часом.

Nothing super memorable or interesting

I can’t be objective about this one either. It’s not really Van Halen’s fault.

My feelings about Van Halen are like those about other 80s hard rock/hair metal bands. I'm sure listening to them live would be exciting, but the music doesn't mean anything to me as someone listening recreationally. You could replace one of the songs on 1984 with a Bon Jovi tune, and I probably wouldn't even notice. The one thing I found interesting on the album was the intro to Top Jimmy, which started out with a great instrumental hook that grabbed my attention. I was excited to finally hear something different, but it just ended up disappointing. The rest of the song didn't live up to it and turned out to be like every other song on the album.

Has jump but I don't really like van Halen

Dated and uninspiring. Most songs go nowhere except a Van Halen guitar solo, which, on paper is enjoyable, I found predictable and dull. The integration of synths are shaky at best - 'Jump' is decent enough, but the songwriting is so lacking - really hanging it's hat on the guitar. Best Tracks: - Drop Dead Legs Worst Tracks: - Top Jimmy - I'll Wait Rating: 3/10

What an awful album cover. The music itself doesn’t redeem it.

40 minutes have passed but...I'm sure I've only listened to Jump.

Big and dumb. Jump is decent, that's about it.

Sounds exactly like something a Trump-voting redneck would put on before going to bed with his wife, only to finish just before getting to "Jump".

Scrappy writing and playing, a couple of classics, but...

Thank you for adding me to this group but when I saw this was the first album I thought to myself, 'fuck,'.

Definitely better than the GNR cock rock, mostly for Eddie Van Halen's guitar wizardry and the group's maximalist style that fused a lot of the burgeouning pop and rock styles of the time - synths, riffs, big hair. But similar to GNR, lack of substance.

This is more pop and less rock than I expected. It was actually better than Guns N Roses. Maybe it's being forced to hear these 80s pop songs on soundtracks, in grocery stores, and in commercials my whole life, but I find the sound of this album so tired. It's not 1/5 bad, it's probably 2.5 rounded down bad.

Plain, boring old guys rock. 'Jump' is a classic. Always fun to hear. Makes me nostalgic.

I can appreciate that this was probably received much diferently at the time, but it feels cheesy and tired. Just not my thing

I listened to this half an hour ago and I can barely remember a thing about it. Sorry. I just remember a lot of really whiney leads, and when "Don't Fear the Reaper" came on shuffle after the album finished and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Un nuevo lunes para éste reto y vuelve a tocarnos Van Halen, banda que como dije anteriormente me es en cierta manera indiferente, más allá de su importancia histórica. El disco tiene canciones harto escuchadas en series y películas y lo siento como para amenizar una reunión o para un gimnasio, tal vez. Hasta mañana.

Good band. Dumb songs. Great guitarist. The singer is a ham (good). The synths are tacked on, you can hear the bargaining between Eddie and the rest of the group.

If not for Jump, this would be kind of a dud, and even then Jump is a little too long. Drop Dead Legs kind of decent tho.

Mediocre at best. Actively hate Jump.

Oh, yeah. Van Halen. They were a thing, I guess. Specifically, they were one of the indistinguishable "hair metal" bands that ruined the labels "metal" and "hard rock" for years to come, and I will hold that against them. They seemed to rebel against "not needing a ton of hair product" and "not wanting to sleep with everyone, including underpaid educators who are just trying to teach." This album, specifically? "Jump" was the single, and I hate that song.

I know this album and I’ve heard the hits many times. I have no reason to doubt it was influential but to me it just sounds dated.

Did nothing for me. There's was some promise in the 70s but I've no time for the 80s version

Worst drummer ever! His fills have a lameness that reminds me of 1976: that's when I realised I would never be a drummer. I could keep the beat but that was it. How do you rate an album with that starts with two scorchers that then drops the ball completely. Every other song just sounds boring or wrong. Girl Gone Bad has a decent groove but then it has all these awkward changes that don't work. I've always had my doubts about EVH - he can play but a lot of his stuff is repetitive, derivative, jarring, or a combination of that. He needed to be in a band with a strong leader to tell him when to stop. House of Pain is aptly named. Yes... we know you have chops, please stop. Oh God, here's that primary school drummer again (that's elementary for you in the US). Huge let down

I’m not ordinarily a fan of 80’s glam rock. The synthesiser should not belong in a rock song, I’m sorry. Some people manage to pull it off but most don’t. That being said, I think some people are overly dramatic about this album. Van Halen is dad rock at its finest and I thought it was listenable with some enjoyable tracks. It’s energized, fast-paced and loud; everything you’d expect from a standard rock album but sometimes, that’s to its detriment. It’s standard and bland. So, whilst I wasn’t totally against it, I also didn’t love it. Its a middle of the road, basic 80’s glam hair rock, nothing special for the time. Of course, the song Jump is featured and is great but the other tracks were somewhat forgettable. Apart from Hot for Teacher, for nefarious reasons. A song about borderline statutory rape? Must be the 80’s! The guy who just reviewed this album with “fuck off” was funny, though.

This really wasn't it for me. Jump's pretty good.

Not for me

Couple of fun moments but deeply bland

After Jump, which is actually an enjoyable song it all went downhill from there

Zaskakujaco wciagajace, choc dziecinne

Just ok

It just sounds so corny. I laughed out loud at one point and then felt bad.

Was not sure if this was hard rock or synth pop depending on the song

Unpopular opinion: I dislike the song “Jump”.. could of ok songs in there.. would give it a 5 if I could

Macho music for bullies and jocks

Doesn’t feel inspired to me. Evoked nothing. It’s the type of classic rock I dislike amped up.

Sure there's some good guitar. I just don't care for big hair '80s rock

Pananahthankman 3/10

There is nothing interesting about this to me 😭 I’ll give it 2 because I didn’t hate listening to it.

Too 80s hard rock for me. I can appreciate the mastery at the guitar and drums but…

Great guitarist but I never want to hear any of these songs again, possible exception for I'll wait which I wouldn't change the station on 3/5 if I could've stripped out the vocals

Radio music. Extra star for some fun gimmicky guitar solos.

certainly 80s

His virtuosity aside, I can’t get into this - when it’s quietest, I’m happiest, like at the beginning of ‘Top Jimmy’ or ‘Drop Dead Legs.’ When it’s off, when it’s over, I’m really most pleased. I don’t mind dumb, or even fake, but a dud ‘tis, especially the squandering of ‘Hot for Teacher’ and ‘Girl Gone Bad.’ By the time ‘Jump’ (the best song, by far) starts soloing, there’s nothing left that I can remotely enjoy, it’s all so thin and, like so much hard rock, so soft. If he shreds, well, I can do w/o that verb.

Giga kitsch avec quelques trucs pas si pire

I sighed when this popped up as today's #1001albums, but I was also a little hopeful. Was this listen-through going to redeem Van Halen the way yesterday's assignment fixed my appreciation for Talking Heads? No. Sorry, I'm just not crazy about rock for jocks to do coke and air guitar along with, specifically with these kind of lyrics and vocals. There's some incredible musicianship going on here. And if it could be nothing but technical breakdowns all the way through maybe I'd be more into it (drum break from Chorus to Verse and everything that isn't singing in Girl Gone Bad had me nodding along)..then again I'm not really a math rock guy either* so maybe there's no pleasing me with this kind of band. *Technical speed metal excluded

Imagine having all of that Vam Halen talent, being in your 30s, and making a song about horny teens sexualizing their teachers. Many great tunes, but, ya know, yuck.

Very much a 80s hair band album. Some classic tracks on here, especially jump and hot for teacher. My favorite is panama. Overall not my taste but I can see how others would love it.

I can't ever decide if I like Van Halen or not. Their first album was great, I do like that one a lot. Everything after that is kind of just more of the same. I mean they are all great at their respective instruments and you can deny Eddie Van Halen's impact on guitar playing. But I tire quickly of the 80s hair band stuff. It has very little variance from one band to the next and it's not something I would ever really listen to by choice. And David Lee Roth just seems like he'd be a gross guy to know in real life. I suppose I have to rate this album in isolation, and it's fine. It's exactly what you would expect a Van Halen record to be even if you had never heard Van Halen before. That's sort of disappointing in a lot of ways. But you can't really rate something like this without regard to the rest of their albums. It's pretty much the same album. I feel like the first Van Halen album would have been plenty for this list. 2.5/5 but will round down to because even though Eddie Van Halen was an unbelievable guitar player, this specific album just kind of washed over me and I was ready to move on before it was over.

Classic, cliched 80's rock. I can smell the hairspray from here. Jump is OK, but apart from that it's pretty generic. 2/5

pour teenagers (comme moi à l'époque)...

The cover artwork for Van Halen's 1984 album is undoubtedly striking but ultimately misses the mark in terms of artistic coherence. While the rebellious imagery attempts to juxtapose innocence with vice, it feels more like a gimmick than a meaningful statement. The choice of a child-like figure engaged in such adult behavior raises eyebrows and seems out of place, detracting from any potential depth the artwork might have had. Overall, while memorable, the artwork does not resonate as deeply as it could, earning it a mere two stars. Album artworks rated: 2/1001 Music's great tho.

Well, I listened to the whole thing, so it would therefore rank higher than a 1. If I never hear “Jump” again, I’ll be happy. “Hot for Teacher” will always have a special place in my heart, and “Panama” is a silly classic. A lot of filler-“I’ll Wait” is a great contender for a Weird Al parody (it already sounds like one). This is what I thought Van Halen was, so wrote them off (until I learn their first album, which changed my mind). Thankfully this album is short, so I could listen to other stuff. Very 80s, very white, very silly.

ну хз мне просто не нравится…

eh

Already knew several of these songs. It’s very guitar heavy which I don’t love. I sort of like hot for teacher and Panama, and really like jump but not really a fan of any of the others.

basic-sounding rock, boring enough. Jump is great though. Just not a big fan of this era/pop rock

I do not like Van Halen. Never have.

this should have been Jump repeated 8 times.

Jump is still a tune, so is Panama, but the rest is pretty MOR and forgettable.

Not for me.

Vale, tiene dos exitazos en Jump y Panama, pero resto palidece y agota rápidamente.

Sounds like the soundtrack of a film that became dated the minute it dropped.

I’m convinced whoever coined the term MOR rock must have been listening to this album at the time.

Cock rock, meets the 80s and synthesisers - what could possibly go wrong? Pretty much everything! I like the album cover though.

Interesting guitars at times, cool synths, pretty fun

I enjoyed the album but it is not something i would personally listen to in my free time. fav songs were jump and hot for teacher. i think this music is something i could dance to but it doesn’t connect with me enough to listen to it again but i loved all the guitar riffs and naturalness to the music. it’s real rock and i appreciate that just not much depth to it which i enjoy in an album.

Ekki gott.

It’s just so simple or something. The songs never get interesting. Even if it is a style you enjoy I don’t really see these songs going anywhere but that’s probably my outside perspective. I can’t justify giving it higher.

1. 1984 - 1 2. jump - 1 3 panama - 2 4. jimmy - 1 5. legz - 1 6. teacher - 1.5 7. uuait - 1.5 8. bad - 1 9. pain - 1

Not a fan

I don't know if I've ever actually liked Van Halen, but I definitely have wanted to like them. They seem fun, EVH is obviously a great guitar player, certain songs are legit good, but in my heart I just don't like this band. David Lee Roth is too damn obnoxious. Through this listen I enjoyed "I'll Wait". Panama is good but i think ive just heard it too many times, also the chorus just being PA-NA-MA! struck me as dumb this time. May be too old for VH!

I prefer their debut over this one. I've never liked Jump (it's supposed to be hard rock, not synth "rock"), but Panama is a decent enough song. I like the catchiness of I'll Wait, in spite of the synths. You can hear that they are talented musicians, particularly on Hot for Teacher, but when the song is as bluesy and busy as it is, I can't enjoy it at all. The song quality is more important than talent. Drop Dead Legs is horrible, Girl Gone Bad is horrible, House of Pain is boring.

Bastante más popo/ochentoso de lo que conocía de Van Halen. Re mediopé.

I mean jump is obviously a classic I was disappointed this was the artist but then realized I actually kinda like it lol I always thought “Panama” was “cannonball” I take it back, the first couple songs were good but this is too much electric guitar for me and I’m not a fan

Boring album. Even the two hit songs are boring now. Overplayed. Not for me

Exactly what you’d expect.

I do have time for some acts like this, the over the top kinda glam rock type thing, but not Van Halen.... In their defense I had never listened to an album before this, but it is what I expected. Recognised "jump" and "Panama" but not a particular fan of either of these. "Hot for teacher" is just crap. It's all just a bit cringey I think. 2.5

i just don’t know how else to say like i just don’t like this very much like i just don’t think it’s made for me and i found it honestly really boring to listen to i’m sorry it’s just like lame sorry van halen

Popular songs are pretty good Rest is too solo-y

Knew most of the songs. I get why some people like it but just not for me!

2583 - Production is good, so is the drumming, but the vocals and song writing are not particularly invigorating.

Good drums but really jerky guitars and terrible writing 4.8

4/10 Ovaj hard/glam rock mi zna biti nekad zanimljiv, ali ne kod Van Halena. Jump mi je usla u uho kad sam na kraju osnovne otkrio osamdesete, pa se stvar naravno nasla na vecini kompilacija. Danas mi nije bas najdraza - jedna je od onih na koju najcesce okrenem ocima kad ju cujem vani, ali razumijem zasto je bila hit. Osim nje, ostatak albuma mi je zesce dosadan, jedino moram priznat da mi se malo pred kraj popravio dojam sa I'll Wait i House Of Pain. Biram Kiss bilo kad prije ovog Van Halena, cak mi nije ni za usporedbu iako su zanrovski dosta bliski. Sjecam se da sam davno citao hvalospijeve o ovom bendu, ali mislim da nisam ciljana publika. Ne znam, danas nije bio los dan pa cu mu dati cetvorku, iako je bila u planu i niza ocjena.

Yeah its just not great

pretty dull album but Jump is a bop 2/5

Fine but not that good

Not my kind of music. I can see how it was the sound of the mid 80s though. Very big hair, big guitar, big music. Probably wont listen again.

Some of the best instrumentalists of their time come together to create the most boring album possible

Not in the mood for this

This album isn’t great, despite some of the songs on it being great. Feels like a late stage greatest hits with some unnecessary filler in it honestly. Panama fucking rules though.

Eh, very 1980’s

It's just hard for me to muster the slightest respect for hair bands. Technically this is good, but I just get no joy out of it.

Wow! This rocks!

Jump, Panama

Итс окэй. Лучше, чем я ожидал. Это все равно чуть слишком, по-моему, по всем АОР/хард рок 80ых фронтам, и вот это техничное дрочилово - это вот вишенка на торте. Лучшая песня - I’ll Wait.

Kuluneita klassikkoja ja muuta ei-itseäni-innostavaa.

Jump was good

The guy could surely play the guitar, they discovered a synthesizer can make some music, and they wrote a huge hit. The rest is very dated and overhyped hard rock with the worst of its tropes.

Some classic stadium songs. Not an album I’d listen to in it’s entirety front to back

Big time stupid

The kings of trash rock. What a detectable genere and style of music. Does every song need an Oohhhh! and a Whooo!? Low IQ. But high musicianship, but atrocious lyri

I’m glad it was short! I did enjoy Jump.

In describing the Cure as too 80s I have invoked the curse. These synths were just lying in wait. I suppose there's some credit due for the innovation in making wild guitar noises. The most musical sportsguitar is still sportsguitar. I've heard some isolated David Lee Roth vocals that are completely unhinged, and that is Interesting. You can't tell in the actual songs though. Got no time for this stuff. It's silly & not in an entertaining way. music: hated. (⌐■_■)

Of course EVH shreds. But the experience of listening to a Van Halen album is not great. I do have one big positive here: Hot For Teacher imagines a world where beavis and butthead type characters are hot for teacher… and teacher is hot for them back. That’s pretty funny, and worth an extra star alone.

nothing salvageable about this really

Not my favourite genre, but a good example of pop rock. The guitar and synths used for Jump are well ahead of their time. But other than Jump and Panama I personally find most of it fairly forgettable.

I like the synths

Not a big fan of this music

too 80

Cliche

Jump is not junk, but most of the rest of the album is.

Great title - What a year! I like the playfulness of the cover art, and it was interesting the read about. Margo Nahas apparently declined to draw four 'chrome women' dancing and instead painted a putto stealing cigarettes - go Margo! First up I'm not a fan of Hair Metal in general. I can appreciate Eddie Van Halen is seen as an incredible guitarist of this genre, but its just noise to me! Too much crash symbol, too many dive bombs and creepy dude lyrics.

Had high hopes, after first two absolute bangers the album goes downhill. Very repetitive in my eyes :(

meh

I can‘t hear it anymore…typical 80‘s Hard Rock…4/10

Gillar bah inte van halen

ja asså dessvärre är jag lite halvtraumatiserad av jump efter jag sjöng den på lel-el, men den är ju rätt fet på sina ställen🚀🚀 resten av albumet var helt okej! Tappade dock mig rätt mycket mot slutet 🥱 Inte riktigt något jag hade satt på i vanliga fall men annars väldigt lättlyssnat. Och han är väl typ helt okej på gitarr den där grabben 🤣😂😅😅🤣🤣🤣 Bästa låt: jump, panama

Helt okej men rätt många mid låtar Bästa låt: Jump Jättebra låt

Amazing guitar solos and some of the song structures aren’t that bad either, real fun stuff but there’s way too much vocal cheese for me to enjoy this truly.

This is a fun album, as in, I can imagine the band having fun making it and drunken teens having fun listening to it. It is also an "important" album in the evolution of popular music - so says the critics. Is it a good album though? Is it?

nothing to it

*eyeroll* This is music for horny adolescents (of any age) who objectify women and don't realize how toxic that is. But, I suppose when 30-year-old's sing about homework, I don't know that I should expect anything else. I imagine hip thrusts are frequent stage moves. This album made me cranky. Jump is only popular for the synth and guitar. Certainly not for the lyrics. Which, perhaps can be said for the entire album. Ugh.

The problem is less with the music, which is fine if a little too sleek and wanky for my particular taste, and definitely with David Lee Roth and the fact that although he’s a decent singer and was a great stage presence, he was a lousy lyricist. No matter how good the music is, having to listen to a song called Drop Dead Legs unironically is torture. I both liked and disliked 1984 more than Van Halen I. On the one hand, more of the songs stood out. I wouldn’t mind listening to Jump or Panama if they came on the radio. On the other hand, there’s less of that weirdness that was lurking under the surface of I. And as I can’t decide which is actually better, I’m gonna give the same rating

Good stuff, lots of guitar noodling and of course a little bit of sexism. Generally not my cup of tea, but there is no denying the skills and talent in the instrumentation. The tracks mesh well together making the album a good listen (minus the sexism) from start to finish.

Their first album was ok after that meh...

rauchends baby okay. nennedses 1984 well mega vil synthis? aso au de introsong. jump intro synths sehr cool. aber find de song easy whack. jop s riff wird huere schnell langwilig und d hook isch afoch JUMP. panama isch scho besser wenigstens dörf de eddie spiele. yeeees rooooock. prechorus isch echt no geil. aber sust ischmer das ganze chli zu basic rock irgendwie. gitarresolo uf top jimmy und s riff gönd huere dumm aber de rest vom song isch fast scho e chinderlied? nai. nai. drop dead legs macht rock riff jaaa! de eddie cha scho huuuere spiele. sehr cool. hot for teaaacher. coole intro stuff de bluesy lick stuff isch huere geil. de song nocher ischmer chli z nervös. synths bi ill wait sind easy cool, besser als bi jump und de eddie haut wieder use. chani lose de song. house of pain isch wieder afoch so wieni mer van halen vorstell aber isch halt nöd meega miis.

føler mig meget vindicated i at sige, at Guns n' Roses er ældet meget bedre end deres modstykker rn Jeg synes Eddie Van Halen er en god og meget genkendelig guitarist, men sangene er bare monotone og dated og ham sangeren altså...........................

Den her plade var simpelthen lige lovlig 80er til min smag.

Føltes som en kort plade! Jump og Panama lyder lidt som cover versioner af hinanden.

Not my thing. Had some good movie montage music, other than that not my thing

It’s not getting 1 star solely due Jump

All American dumb guys just blasting the guitar. Not great music, but like, who gives a shit.

Jump is fantastic but the rest is just really average. Some good moments here and there, and a couple of songs have fantastic intros but then become incredibly cringe (Hot for Teacher and Girl Gone Bad)

Effective for what it is. The jump ball at every NBA arena has been forever changed by this album. I'd rate this 2.5 if there were half stars, but because this gave me a light headache I will be downgrading to 2.

I swear what I am about to say is the truth For as long as I have known about this album's existence, I have assumed the little cig-smoking cherub was "supposed" to be David Lee Roth. I do not know how or why I came to that conclusion. Anyway, Panama rocks.

stupid lyrics and the sound got old. some interesting synth stuff i guess.

Honestly, it's not a genre that I ever gravitate towards. Yes, "Jump" is a classic and I kinda like the beginning of "Top Jimmy", but that's it. Nothing else stands out for me.

Great guitar work, cringey Cock Rock vocals. I knew what to expect and VH delivered. Two stars because it was short and I've heard half the tracklist already so I got to skip a lot of it, as a lil treat :)

Pretty generic, absolutely carried by Jump

Cheesier than a triple cheese burger with cheese fries and shake. Without the hair, the spandex or the bikini's, it all sounds a bit too formulaic. Best track is Panama, but that's a jock anthem and feels sub ACDC on all levels. Jump is too synthtastic and just overplayed Hot for Teacher is Beavis and Butthead boogie fun though

While not sonically bad, I'm just not a big fan of a lot these songs. We have so many interesting perspectives on this list, why do we need a dude in his late 20s talking about wanting to bone his teacher?? I dunno, it's fine. Fav songs: - Jump - House of Pain

Not my kind of metal - bit too synthy in places - but I'll give it an extra star because I've just binge watched the first ten seasons of Supernatural which had raised my tolerance for all things classic rock

Classic

Pretty corny sounding. Some of the elements, whether it be the guitar riffs or the drums, sound cool on their own, but all together it's all just dripping with bravado and self-importance. The lyrics are corny. Even the singles aren't that enjoyable. Without the synths, "Jump" doesn't have anything going for it and just drags on

Surprised I have heard more of these tracks than expected, probably on radio or movies. It’s amazing what nostalgia can do for rock mediocrity.

A couple of good songs, but I'm really not a fan of that generic 80s sound.

Aside from “Jump,” which was passable, the rest was bland, generic, and forgettable. Usually this sort of thing is at least kind of fun in a dumb way, but I wasn’t feeling it at all today. At least it was pretty short.

I've talked about 'poser rock' before on my reviews, and this is the album I always think about. A great band that just completely lost its way. Jump is such a fing stupid song. The only redeeming part of this album is 'Hot for Teacher' and 'redeeming' is a strong word here because the song is so pervy. 'House of Pain' as well, but it just feels like a D-side song from Led Zeppelin. Highlight: 6.

First time we’ve ever listened to a VH album from beginning to end. Good album; starts strong and has some memorable hits. Last two songs on B side were a weak finish which brought it down a bit. (2.4*s)

This album is so 80's it hurts. "I'll Wait" is the best track but I wasn't impressed otherwise. I'm not a huge fan of "Hot for Teacher," the song itself bugs me and the track title sends it over the top. Don't even get me started on "Drop Dead Legs," I despised everything there. I like the album art and there's some good guitar riffs but this felt mundane and a bit cliche'. Some classics but not enough to warrant a higher rating.

weww from the jump u can tell how influential he was. overall it is not the sort of thing i would often return to but it goes p hard & i did mostly enjoy it :) faves: mannish boy i want to be loved #2 i can't be satisfied

It feels like the end is nigh. The grit has gone and they're coasting on the wave of guitar wank Eddie started in the 70s and the 80s od-ed on. David Lee Roth seems very happy with the "hey, aren't girls hot, let's party" schtick, you can tell Eddie isn't. Even the good songs are laboured. You can hear Eddie get bored when the verse hits for Panama. He just holds a chord, probably turning the page of the want ads looking for available singers. When Eddie does turn in some decent guitar stuff, Dave gurns tired, sexist gibberish over it on "Girl Gone Bad," "Drop Dead Legs" and "Hot for Teacher".

Couldn't even sit through the entire album. Guess it's one of those "you should've been there" experiences

Liked songs Jump I'll Wait

For me this is one of so many 80s albums which are ok, but kind of boring. You can listen to them again and again but it simply does not get interesting.

A fun album of a time long gone, but don't look for anything deeper than some cool guitar riffs and a couple catchy chorus lines.

Jump

I don’t wanna jump

radio sanitized, safe and boring Top Jimmy had a nice instrumental

I think I said this for another album, possibly another Van Halen, that I can see how if you were a college aged white boy when this came out, I can easily see how it would seem like the greatest album of all time. To me in the year 2024? Doesn't sound too great, if I'm being honest. Sorry Dad, I know this is one of your favorite records. The only thing that saves this from 1 star is that "Jump" is a pretty undeniable banger.

These guys must really hate spinal tap

Je ne sais pas vraiment pas pourquoi ils ont pensé nécessaire d'appeler ce disque 1984 alors que tout dans ce disque hurle déjà 1984. Ce son de guitare, ce chant et surtout, par dessus tout, ce son de synthétiseur complètement daté et crispant sur l’intro et “Jump”. Il est des moments dans l'histoire de la musique ou les artistes s'égarent dans de nouvelles modes qui semblent de bonnes idées sur le coup, et les premières notes de synthé nous renvoient ça en pleine gueule. Que tout cela est moche et d'un goût douteux (“Hot for teacher”...). Des solos interminables qu'ils ne savent pas terminer comme sur “Drop Dead Legs” qui disparaît mollement avec la fin de la chanson, ou même le final de l’album. Combien de solos de clavier, de batterie, de guitare sont vraiment nécessaires, dans un festival de son hard rock FM et de cheveux permanentés. Si j'écoute ça en passant sur un pont, I might as well jump.

Straight hardrock from the 80's.

Not a big Van Halen fan beyond Eddie's guitar mastery. This is the epitomy of 80's hair metal. The only song on here that I really like is Panama -- which for years I thought they were saying "Panic and Run". I despise Jump and Hot for Teacher; the other 2 big hits here. I don't think it's a terrible album but I wouldn't choose to listen too it. Would give it a 2.5 if possible, but I hate Jump so much, downgrading to a 2.

I hate that my biggest compliment to most of these is that it's short. This isn't terrible but I've heard it all a million times and it's not my type of music. Panama especially I've just heard so much I can't stand it. Top Jimmy is probably the best song. Girl Gone Bad was surprisingly good, esp since i hadn't heard it

Enjoyed the music, Panama is a banger. Didn't like the vocals as much.

There’s Jump, Panama, and a bunch of vessels for Eddie Van Halen guitar solos. Hearing David Lee Roth’s very 30-year-old-man speaking voice pretending to be a kid on Hot For Teacher was very interesting.

Definitely some classics on this album, but other than those its pretty mid cap

Oh the misogyny.

Eddies guitar work is absolutely unique. And his brothers drumming is sharp and driven. But the lyrics are something only a 14 year old boy could love.

ganz ok

„Jump“ kennt man, dann wird es ein bißchen langweilig.

I don't have anything positive to say about hair metal. Some of this was tolerable.

It finally struck me why I don't like Van Halen... they sound like a juiced-up Def Leppard. I hate Def Leppard. Of course, it's technically very impressive and some of the solos are great, but the actual songs? Not so much.

Not really anything wrong with this, but just not my vibe

Very impressive guitar work from Van Halen but nothing massively jumped out to me. Liked it but didn’t love it.

Wouldn’t go out of my way to buy it.

A stretch to say you need to listen to this album before you die, but this has some pretty classic riffs and you can never go wrong with EVH on the guitar.

Moments of genius with stretches of headache

Meh. I have a feeling the 80s are going to generally fall this way. Don’t like the synth. No passion. Two highlights were Drip Dead Legs and House of Pain. I bet this would come of better live.

not my cuppa tea. i didn't like the album in 1984 and i still don't. Except, Hot for Teacher... that song is kind of rad.

Pas mon style de musique, mais pas si pire...

"Jump" is of course a hit and well known. The rest of the album is unknown to me and I don't like it.

I've never been able to get on with Van Halen or other bands of this genre. Objectively the playing is incredible, nobody can deny that. However it just comes across as a bit wanky and cheesy to me.

Despite being an 80s glam album, I still thought it would maybe be good, because it has Eddie van Halen playing on it. That definitely is the best part about it, but I still dont really care for this all that much.

One wonders why some albums are on the list, because of the hit? It´s a standard rock album of the 80s basically, not real special. Waiting for their debut album, which is a true classic, with great riffs in each song.

Technically great, but dated themes and sounds.

pretty forgettable, except for like 3 songs that are already quite popular.

En koskaan muista Van Halenin biisejä, mutta ulkonäön kyllä. Ja tässähän oli kaikki biisit, jotka heiltä tiedän. Aika äijää tukkatwistillä. Kasarin ilmentymä siis. Ei huono mutta en ole kohderyhmää, ei vetoo vaikka on menoo.

Panama on kova biisi, mutten kuuntelisi sitä melkein koskaan, koska se kuulostaa kehnolta. Eddien kitara on tarkka ja taitava, mutta se ei sulaudu muiden elementtien kanssa yhteen, vaan leijuu raitojen yllä omana todellisuutenaan. Hot for Teacher on hauska ja mauton, mutta sekin kuulostaa kehnolta. Vikasta biisistä ("House of Pain" - lol) sietäisi saada miinus kolme pistettä.

Mediokrer Pop Rock.

i don’t rlly like it - feels overplayed? but even the songs i’m not familiar with. like this is the music they play on the speaker at the gym lol. wouldn’t rlly play on my own.

Forgetful 80snrock. I'm sorry.

Fun 80s shit

Not for me, don't mind Panama or hot for teacher but just felt I was looking forward to it being over

Cool but not my cup of tea

The two first songs are bangers then it looses steam.

Saai

Light hearted 80s. Big guitar + synthetic.

I liked this one slightly more than the other VH, mainly through familiarity with the two ‘big’ songs near the start.

Mediocre synths and guitars under mediocre dudes singing about how horny they are. Not my jam.

Guitars. Not something my ear finds super satisfying. Like Jump and Panama because they are more catchy and I’ve been exposed to them across the years. I appreciated the fast tempo, but not at the point where I can appreciate a sweet riff or intricate drumming. Vocals felt slightly dated, but I think with more listening I'd be able to get into the style. 4/10

Not my cup of tea

singles unlistenable in 2023 middle tracks fine, some bangers i'm sure it was a 5 star for my dad but its gonna be a 2 today

Mäh

Mixed feelings on this....good in that it still had Dave. Bad in that it relied on poorly incorporated synth effects.

Van Halen kind of sucks

boring

mite as well GUMP

This is like the most emblematic butt rock album conceivable. David Lee Roth really sucks, he’s such a terrible vocalist it’s kind of unbelievable. Without Eddie, this band would have faded into obscurity. There are so many pointless synth textures worked into the album, clearly because it was trendy. I saw a YouTube comment saying that Alex’s drumming was next level, if you told me this album was made with a drum machine I’d believe it, the drums are so boring. As a band they’re so obsessed with gimmicks to try to distract you from how boring their music is. The actual songwriting is so fundamentally poor and uninteresting, the lyrics are downright embarrassing. It sounds like a high school football linebacker was forced to write poetry. The only song I at all enjoy is hot for teacher, and it’s mostly because I heard it when I was a kid in middle school. The idea of this being anyone’s favorite album is baffling to me.

First of all, I hate myself for kind of liking this. I know it’s bad, it’s so bad. But it kind of hits the spot in a nostalgic way for me. The tracks that incorporate synth lines (Jump and I’ll Wait) are actually a pretty fun evolution of their classic Hair Metal sound, even though they lack quite a bit in the lyrics and vocals (yeah, DLR doesn’t do it for me). Hot For Teacher like actually fucking RIPS if you completely tune out the horrid disgusting lyrics, and Panama is kind of a banger too. The issue that really tears it down is the godawful album cuts. Girl Gone Bad? Drop Dead Legs?! Come on. Terrible tracks. I can’t get over how bad the lyrics and vocals on every single song are. I’ve actually talked myself down while re-listening to write this out. Bangin’ guitar lines aren’t enough to save the stomach-churning themes being passed off has having a fun time. Plus like the lows are SO much lower than the highs are high. I was leaning 3 but I’m more comfortable going 2.

did not really like this besides jump which i think is fun

Hella nah

2.75

When I tell people I don’t like heavy metal their retort is always - “have you listened to any?” In the past, I did listen to it but never enjoyed it and I would almost always say it’s the vocals that I found very difficult. They are usually rasping and raucous and grating and unpleasant to my ears. I was watching a TV programme called the Dog House the other day. There was an adorable heavy metal drummer on there who adopted a husky and his argument was the same. He said people who claimed not to like heavy metal, never listen to any. I promise I have, but my reactions are pretty much the same every time. I don’t like listening to it. The guitars and drums are fine and I appreciate the talent. But I don’t enjoy it, in toto. This Van Halen album veers towards the pop so is less undesirable than other albums. Also, I’ve never really got on with the patriarchal, sexist vibe. Not as bad as some.

Listened to most of this with the kids. So I'm going to share a (paraphrased) family review: Adler: It's just so basic. American rock drumming has got to be some of the most standard and boring drumming out there. Sylvia: I've heard some of these songs. Nothing I would want to listen to. Marianne: It's a caricature of 80s rock bands. I guess I can see how guitarists like Eddie Van Halen. But David Lee Roth was always a hard stop for me. I'd rather go back to 1983 with Cyndi.

Какое же говно я послушал. Музыка никакая (за исключением Jump), певец просто ужасен. Я кое-как это дослушал. Ставлю 2 звезды только за мелодию Jump (песню испортил своим голосом певец). Этот альбом должен заряжать энергией, как AC/DC, но вместо этого вызывает отвращение.

What a hilariously cheesy band and album. Fun to hit some hits in there. Just super glad this was so short.

1984 // Jump // Panama // 2/5

Ha ha.. essential 80’s hair metal… Always Jump at parties back then. But now… very dated

Maybe it was great in the 80s. But it hasn’t aged very well in my opinion. But it had some great line ts in the second half of the album

This is quite possible the worst album art I've ever seen. It kinda reminds me of angelic 2 the core

Pretty rubbish. Couldn't finish it. Pretty empty and not even really fun with it. Oh dear.

I am of the opinion this is where Van Halen fell from the grace of the rock gods... I can appreciate the new form of expression and the use of new technology, but it is not for me. Next.

Another oldie - but Van Halen not really my cup of tea!

Jag tycker inte det här är särskilt spännande.

ugh

Two formulas, a few good tunes but it was wearing thin at this point.

Hot for teacher is one of the worst songs I've heard but the rest it's fine. Probably won't listen to it again though.

Jump is obviously overplayed and Hot for Teacher is a fun but dumb single that has long lost its charm on me, at least there's still Panama. Rest of the album is juste fillers, I just don't care about that album.

I dont get along with people that are overhyping van halen...Boomer alert.

Let out an audible groan when I heard the opening chords of ‘Jump’ and things really only went downhill from there. This to me just seems like the weaker end of 80s rock - corny songwriting and the cheekiness on the album struggled to win me over. I don’t really enjoy Eddie Van Halen’s guitar solos - they just always seem random and without much backbone to them. The couple songs with a solid rhythm section and riffs (Hot For Teacher & Gone Girl Bad) for me are just overshadowed by all the lyrics they happened to put in the songs. Not for me this record - one and a half stars here Fave track (by default): Jump

Nja, arenarock som känns lite förlegad

Much respect to Eddie, he’s a virtuoso. The rest of the band? Not so much.

Not anything that appeals to me. The songs are trite and with little depth. I know the hits, Jump is OK but (one should hear the Aztec Camera version) the rest of the hits are decidedly meh. The deep album cuts hold no pleasant surprises. The only song that I liked was the one that my streaming service played after the album was over - Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love. The guitar histrionics are impressive, if you like that kind of thing, for me it adds little to the song. 2 stars

I don’t know what it is about “Jump,” I’ve always loved this song, ever since I first heard it. It’s like the best of ear worms and guilty pleasures. Those synths just wriggle up inside my brain and pull some sort of dopamine release lever. Something too about the likes of Van Halen—a band named for their guitar player—venturing so boldly into the pop synth sound. It makes the guitar solo that much better when it hits. It’s silly, fun, and I love it. Reminds me to of the guitar work Eddie provided for MJ’s “Beat It,” another great melding of 80s pop and rock sensibilities. Sadly, the rest of the album does not maintain that sensibility…or make much sense. Is 1984 some reference to an Orwellian future? Unlikely. Is “Panama” anything more than inane nonsense and lukewarm metaphors about hard-partying, hot chicks, and fast cars? Unlikely. And while I much appreciate the fun of such songs when The Beach Boys were doing it jovially in the 1960s, by 1984 I find it pretty gross. Grosser still that these bands do nothing but take pop hedonistic chants to such absurdist extremes as “PANAMA-HA” and toss it together with distasteful locker room lines like “I brought my pencil / Give me something to write on!” in “Hot for Teacher.” Though, “Teacher” is a song I actually like musically. The blues riff is tasty, fast, and the opening drum solo is memorably heavy. And, aside from that aforementioned line, I find the crude adolescence mostly works in “Teacher.” Not much else grabs me here. I’m reminded of Def Leppard’s Hysteria and wonder why I came around so sharply on that record when I can’t here. I think it’s because of the maximalist pop-rock inclinations of that record. When VH follows suit—“Jump”—it works tremendously. But the rest of the album, with a few impressive instrumental exceptions, just feels like so much stale rock of the 1980s.

Jump is obviously a classic The rest was not up to much. Impressive guitar playing but forgettable songs

Ik kan hier niet naar luisteren man. Toch een 2 want zijn Nederlandse boys

İlk izlenim: 1984- Yine mi synth imdat. Elektronik müziğikte remaster yapılacak kadar şey yok alo? Bir şey anlayıp bir şey hissetmem mi lazım ben bu Bs'e katlanamam LAN JUMP 😀 Önceki şarkıya söverken bunun başlaması. Alev aldım. Buna bayılıyorum ama tek sebebi arkadaki o üçlü synth'in mükemmel olması. Catchy ve klasikleşmiş zaten. Bu şarkı (7/10) Genel olarak ortalamanın altı bir albüm. Çünkü saran şarkıların yanında çok fazla saçmasalak rezalet şarkı var. (Literally her açıdan) Onun dışında gitar işi güzel, ama sözler meh. Jump olmasa vereceğim puan daha da düşük olurdu (2/10)

This era of hard rock music does nothing for me, there wasn't anything inherently bad about it, I just didn't enjoy it. Maybe a 2.5/5.