Journey in Progress
Discovering music one album at a time
388
Albums Rated
3.47
Avg Rating
91
5-Star Albums
36%
Complete
701 albums remaining
Rating Speed
2.7
Per Week
1002
Days Active
Reviews
388
Written
100%
Review Rate
vs Global
0.19
Avg Diff
3.47
Avg Rating
Rating Distribution
How you rate albums
Rating Timeline
Average rating over time
Ratings by Decade
Which era do you prefer?
Activity by Day
When do you listen?
Taste Profile
2010s
Favorite Decade
Grunge
Favorite Genre
other
Top Origin
Balanced
Rater Style
30
1-Star Albums
Taste Analysis
Genre Preferences
Ratings by genre
Origin Preferences
Ratings by country
Rating Style
You Love More Than Most
Albums you rated higher than global average
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| Spy Vs. Spy: The Music Of Ornette Coleman | 5 | 2.22 | +2.78 |
| The United States Of America | 5 | 2.61 | +2.39 |
| Peace Sells...But Who's Buying | 5 | 2.98 | +2.02 |
| Nighthawks At The Diner | 5 | 3.01 | +1.99 |
| Real Life | 5 | 3.05 | +1.95 |
| Kimono My House | 5 | 3.06 | +1.94 |
| Legalize It | 5 | 3.07 | +1.93 |
| Murder Ballads | 5 | 3.08 | +1.92 |
| The Lexicon Of Love | 5 | 3.08 | +1.92 |
| Dig Me Out | 5 | 3.08 | +1.92 |
You Love Less Than Most
Albums you rated lower than global average
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| Transformer | 1 | 3.67 | -2.67 |
| Tusk | 1 | 3.46 | -2.46 |
| xx | 1 | 3.37 | -2.37 |
| Homework | 1 | 3.29 | -2.29 |
| American Beauty | 1 | 3.24 | -2.24 |
| Slanted And Enchanted | 1 | 3.03 | -2.03 |
| Nowhere | 1 | 3.01 | -2.01 |
| Midnight Ride | 1 | 3 | -2 |
| Don't Come Home A Drinkin' (With Lovin' On Your Mind) | 1 | 2.98 | -1.98 |
| New Gold Dream (81/82/83/84) | 1 | 2.95 | -1.95 |
Artist Analysis
Favorite Artists
Artists with 2+ albums and high weighted score
| Artist | Albums | Avg | Score |
|---|---|---|---|
| Led Zeppelin | 3 | 5 | 4 |
| Queen | 3 | 5 | 4 |
| Jimi Hendrix | 3 | 4.67 | 3.83 |
| Black Sabbath | 3 | 4.67 | 3.83 |
| Megadeth | 2 | 5 | 3.8 |
| Rush | 2 | 5 | 3.8 |
| Steely Dan | 2 | 5 | 3.8 |
| Yes | 2 | 5 | 3.8 |
| Nirvana | 2 | 5 | 3.8 |
| David Bowie | 5 | 4.2 | 3.75 |
Least Favorite Artists
Artists with 2+ albums and low weighted score
| Artist | Albums | Avg | Score |
|---|---|---|---|
| Sonic Youth | 2 | 1.5 | 2.4 |
| Pavement | 2 | 1.5 | 2.4 |
5-Star Albums (91)
View Album Wall
Popular Reviews
Roni Size
2/5
Snoozefest. This album overstayed it's welcome so much, it put a tent up in my living room and left its feet sticking out the flap, muddying up my rug.
Being boring is more sinful than being bad.
15 likes
Iggy Pop
5/5
All throughout I was thinking "this guy is doing a pretty great Bowie impression" and, lo and behold, the man's fingerprints are all over this album.
Therefore it gets top marks. Brill.
5 likes
The Divine Comedy
3/5
Strangely hammy, weirdly rapey, oddly energetic.
Really confused by this one. So middle of the road it goes.
3 likes
Queen Latifah
1/5
No no god no. Put it back in the ark of the covenant and open it again in 30 years. Let the future deal with it. Just get it out of my sight.
3 likes
1/5
67 was the same year Hendrix had two of his absolute GOAT albums. Disraeli Gears by Cream. The Doors, by (you guessed it) The Doors. SERGEANT FUCKING PEPPERS.
leave this shite in the dark ages.
2 likes
1-Star Albums (30)
All Ratings
Alice In Chains
4/5
Chunky. Rough in a clean way (if that makes sense). 90s af.
The Smiths
4/5
"It's not comforting, cheery or kind" - no, it's the Smiths. Not my preferred vibes, but I can appreciate a decent album.
Depeche Mode
5/5
Snippet of birdsong almost burst my eardrums. Then Personal Jesus came on and everything was alright. Good album, it grew on me
Beastie Boys
3/5
Rough but clean. 1989s finest, but rap has been power crept since then.
Solomon Burke
3/5
Album is all a bit "one note", albeit a talented "note" at that. Soulful and crisp. A monument of its time.
Leonard Cohen
2/5
I'm starting to think I shouldn't be listening to these albums on my commute to and from work. Lenny needs to chill out. Avalanche slaps, but the rest is dire and frankly I'm not in the mood.
Todd Rundgren
4/5
The album equivalent of "always keep em guessing". Fun, tongue in cheek, wild.
For context, this album directly followed a Leonard Cohen album so the whiplash has left my neck completely snapped in two.
Bert Jansch
4/5
I like the way he pluck and twang. Good stuff.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
3/5
Pure dad rock. I am not a dad yet, so found it slow. Sinister Purpose is solid tho.
Belle & Sebastian
4/5
Jaunty, lovely, peppy. When the trumpet pops, it's tingles down my back. Very solid, bit slow.
Ananda Shankar
2/5
Covers sound like sitar-aoke (karaoke, geddit) and the albums drags. Shame.
Nick Drake
4/5
Lovely tone of voice. Skillful and peaceful orchestration. But all the songs sound the same.
Sonic Youth
1/5
Noisy. Ugly. Boring. You could say I'm not a fan.
Carpenters
4/5
Difficult to listen to with fresh ears - songs are firmly stuck in the "karaoke slosh" category for me.
But the vocal harmonies are gorgeous. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. "Another Song" actually rocks.
Elbow
4/5
So I would listen to curated radio stations named "ePiC mUsIc" which was populated almost entirely by tracks like "Grounds For Divorce". That shit was formative to my young ears. Wish the rest of the album was more like it but its a good listen nonetheless.
Megadeth
5/5
YES. MORE.
\m/
The Clash
5/5
What the heck. This kicks ass. I thought The Clash were boring.
Fairport Convention
2/5
They said it best in Autopsy - "..why must you bore me to tears?"
Aggressively dull.
Elton John
5/5
Hit after hit after hit. Sir Elton at his finest.
It is very long, and that Jamaican song is a bit naff, but who cares.
Sam Cooke
4/5
Mr Soul has riz for days. The songs themselves are quite middle-of-the-road but I'd have loved to have been there for this recording.
The Icarus Line
4/5
I like noisy, but it's a bit too under-produced here. Real chunky riffs and jams tho.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
Not my favourite of theirs, but, like pizza, even bad pizza is really funking good.
Korn
1/5
This was my shit as a teen - my edgy bread and butter washed down with razorblade cereal. So listening with fresh ears was... actually, surprisingly easy.
This album aged like breast milk left in the sun. It's all the same song dude. I can't believe Jon and Fred D sat back after recording "All in the Family" and went "yep, that's the absolute best we could do! Nailed it dood".
Guess this is how reformed Mormons feel.
Franz Ferdinand
5/5
Simple, catchy, damn good.
Side note, my best friend in school, Michael, hated when I'd sing his titular song in his direction.
Public Enemy
4/5
When it's good, it's excellent - Bring tha Noize, get to Arizona etc.
But damn, the discordant wailing sirens in the background of some songs are SUPER annoying. That first track is one hell of a way to start an album. Truly awful.
Megadeth
5/5
Such thrash..
Much weedly-weedly-woo.
Happiness.
The Stranglers
5/5
What the hell is this oddly technical prog punk mix and where has it been my entire life???
Scott Walker
4/5
This feller has an incredibly wobbly voice and some odd lyrics.
Pretty good.
Songhoy Blues
5/5
This is why I go through with this album-a-day rigamarole. This is an absolute gem I'd have never found otherwise. Very grateful to add this album to my rotation!
Pink Floyd
5/5
Gorgeous.
I wish I had the drugs on hand to listen to this album as intended.
The Cramps
4/5
Slack-stringed, lethargic guitars + slurred, warbly vocals + post production mixing chunkier than Campbell's = a very strange rockabilly album indeed.
Would be a perfect soundtrack to True Detective or similar shows. Certainly grew on me the more I listened.
The Mamas & The Papas
2/5
If my mama and papa were this boring I'd have ran away from home long ago.
California Dreaming is solid tho.
The Stooges
3/5
It's punk, alright. The band members feel like they're all playing different songs and the energies are all over the place.
Also, there's maybe 3 or 4 different mixes of this album for some reason? Just stop trying. Leave it be. It's just fine.
The Flaming Lips
4/5
What a bizarre ride from start to finish. Some songs drag, but the energy and eclectic-kitsch personality shines throughout.
The Youngbloods
3/5
Incredibly middle-of-the-road lounge music. Completely inoffensive and.. just fine.
Darkness, Darkness slaps pretty hard tho.
Marvin Gaye
4/5
He's sexy, he's soulful,
Got ballads by the bowlful.
He's Marvin fuckin Gaye.
Isaac Hayes
2/5
That theme song is a verified 11 outta 10.
The rest of the album doesn't need to exist. It's functional background music.
I now know where "Santa Claus is Coming to the Ghetto" got their sampling from, however. So that's cool.
Peter Tosh
5/5
Pure chill reggae. Him and Robert (Marley) were the GOATs !
Rush
5/5
Uh.. how do I go back and lower all my previous ratings? This is Rush's best, and I'm sorry to all other artists but that's just the way it is.
Rock on Peart, you legend \m/
Rage Against The Machine
5/5
Fuck you I won't review how you tell me
Aerosmith
2/5
Impressively boring. Shouldn't really be on this list.
Even "Walk This Way", the best track, has a better version elsewhere.
Ravi Shankar
2/5
It's interesting. Informative. Technically profound. A show of skill.
But a fun listen it is not. Sorry Ravi.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
5/5
Only Nick I'd heard before now was the Peaky Blinders theme, and this album has those vibes all over it. Love it.
The Rolling Stones
4/5
Monkey neurons activate for each song, but nothing truly stands out.
Can't believe there's a song called "Turd on the Run".
The Pogues
5/5
Celtic jazz? Spanish guitar?? Christmas ballads!? All cemented together via drinking-fighting Irish belters???
"Be merry, my friends. Be merry". It's bloody hard to be anything else listening to this. Top craic
The Temptations
4/5
Groovy. Whenever that bassy voice came in, my knees shuddered, and I'm a married straight dude.
Weird cover of "Heard It Through The Grapevine"
Beatles
2/5
If they stopped after this album, the Beatles would've fallen off the face of the earth into obscurity.
"With The Beatles" shambled so that "Abbey Road"/"Sergeant Pepper's.." could SPRINT.
Billie Holiday
3/5
Whatta voice. Rich, vibrant. Best thing Fallout 3 did was bring Billie to the ears of a new generation.
Album itself is quite same-samey and boring tho.
Alanis Morissette
4/5
Wow, a real relic! 1995 encapsulated in one sick album.
Nothing quite like bursting out "And I'm here to remiiiind you/of the mess you made when you went away"
Iggy Pop
5/5
All throughout I was thinking "this guy is doing a pretty great Bowie impression" and, lo and behold, the man's fingerprints are all over this album.
Therefore it gets top marks. Brill.
John Prine
2/5
Well, I never used to like country..
Still don't, but I never used to as well.
Not for me thanks.
Soundgarden
5/5
This was great. I'd always thought of "Black Hole Sun" Soundgarden and "Spoonman" Soundgarden as being different eras throughout the bands life, so colour me surprised when one came on directly after the other.
Chunky without sacrificing melody. And that VOICE.
Manic Street Preachers
3/5
This album has no chill. It's seemingly always at 11, which is both good and bad.
My point being.. have you tried being less manic?
Fun Lovin' Criminals
4/5
"Fun" is right - this album was a blast!
The only criminal activity here, however, was how these lads stole my heart.
..and the copious drug use.
The War On Drugs
2/5
It's the climax of the indie trash Wes Anderson-wannabe movie debut, and the paid-in-exposure actors look across the ocean wistfully. They mutter something pretentious and this album plays in its entirety as they stare into the lens. Credits roll.
Boring.
Earth, Wind & Fire
4/5
That opening is hot fire. The rest of the album dithers and has its ups and downs. Some peak funk here though - thoroughly enjoyable.
Little Simz
4/5
Benefits from multiple listenings. There's no catchy riffs or hooks, but there's a ton of depth and vibes, spanning from light to very heavy.
The Clash
4/5
I don't get it. Their first album was better.
I want to like it more, but it's just too dang long.
The Monks
4/5
Fucking mental. Who knew a banjo could sound so damn angry.
Too rare to be lost forever, too weird to thrive. Perfect for a list like this.
Queen Latifah
1/5
No no god no. Put it back in the ark of the covenant and open it again in 30 years. Let the future deal with it. Just get it out of my sight.
Jimi Hendrix
5/5
Thick, chunky riffs, swooping solos, and excellent vibes throughout.
I can even forgive the goofy skit and weird messy feedback sections - lotta drugs about those days.
Superb.
Thin Lizzy
3/5
Download Festival 2011, Thin Lizzy on the main stage. Me on my friends shoulders as they play "Boys are Back in Town" which is kinda funny since that friend hadn't realised by that point they were a woman all along, and have since transitioned. I'm in my festival poncho and jester hat, and get featured on the main screen. We go wild!! It was even shown on the highlights on Kerrang, and that still image took ages for me to screenshot and save. That was my Facebook profile photo for years on end. A core memory.
The albums just alright.
Kendrick Lamar
4/5
Familiar but fresh, with the depth of a swimming pool full of hard liquor. Nothing truly stands out as a "hit", but it was a welcome dark trip.
Pixies
4/5
Fun. Messy. Very varied and lively. I really enjoyed this, but it's too unrefined to be a 5.
5/5
It's rough. It's outdone by MANY other 80s albums. It shouldn't be on this list, frankly.
AND YET THE DOPAMINE FLOWS ??
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
4/5
Technically lovely, though nothing jumps out. Some of the best background music I could ask for.
Dusty Springfield
4/5
That smoky voice! I enjoyed this more than I thought I would.
Dolly Parton
2/5
I'm all for Dolly outside of music. She sounds awesome.
This album ain't it tho. Not for me thanks.
Suicide
1/5
Iconic? Maybe.
Good? Fuck no.
This album sucked.
Otis Redding
5/5
Otis slaps. This is soulful as hell and I enjoyed every minute.
Elvis Presley
3/5
This is the wrong half of Elvis. Give me sexy rock n roll Elvis, this don't do it for me.
Frank Ocean
4/5
The kind of music cool people listen to. I can't wait to bmget caught tapping my foot singing along to "crack rock crack rock crack rock"
Judas Priest
4/5
With 40 added years of hindsight and context, I think Grinder is hilarious - Grinderrrrrr, Looking for meat!
And y'know, I bet Rob Halford finds it funny as hell too.
Tim Buckley
2/5
I wasn't happy nor was I sad. More just aloof. Listless. Other synonyms.
LL Cool J
2/5
"your rhynes are cheesy - you found em in a mousetrap"
I love the lack of irony with which Cool James raps this line.
I love that it isn't even from the song "Cheesy Rat Blues"
Things I don't love : this album.
And that weird rape line.
That's not cool, James.
Sex Pistols
5/5
I've got a hunch these boys are a bit miffed
Black Sabbath
5/5
This rocks. Pure and simple.
That damn bass line travels through multiple zip codes!
The Cardigans
5/5
Really enjoyed this, each track like a hidden treat. Except for that Iron Man cover. Strange that I JUST had Black Sabbath before this album too!
Bauhaus
2/5
Me: Why can't you just be normal??
Bauhaus: FISHCAKES. FISHCAKES.
Buena Vista Social Club
3/5
Listen to feel like you're in a Breaking Bad cold open.
Great background music.
Snoop Dogg
3/5
Oh hey its the Great British Bake-off host!
Solid hooks and beats.
Wears out its welcome fairly quick.
ABBA
5/5
I get it now.
Burning Spear
4/5
Fight the power and all that.
Quite repetitive but fun.
Mudhoney
4/5
Some tracks feel they could have been released last week. Some tracks need to get their prostate looked at - their age is showing. Strange but fun.
The Rolling Stones
3/5
This album was already in my regular playlist. A first, however - after listening, I actually removed some tracks from my listening rotation.
There is such a think as too much honky-tonking
Michael Jackson
4/5
His allegations? Acquitted.
His hits? Slappers
His dregs? Not so good
Bad? Good
Jimi Hendrix
5/5
Guitar absolutely on point. Drums are belter. GOAT remains GOATed.
Now excuse me while I kiss this guy
The The
2/5
Man, I love the 80s vibes. That's why this is rated so low for me - others have done it waaay better.
Doesn't deserve to be on the list frankly.
Laura Nyro
3/5
Laura, pick a damn tempo and stick with it
Well produced but EXHAUSTING to listen to
Amy Winehouse
4/5
Love how the instrumentalists play very simply, taking a back seat to THAT V O I C E.
I had fun
Frank Sinatra
4/5
Excellent lounge/elevator music. Very chill and cool.
Simon & Garfunkel
3/5
I'd only heard "Scarborough Fair" so had low expectations going in.
First listen was pleasantly surprised.
Second listen bored again.
Its just fine.
Nitin Sawhney
2/5
It's 2023. Christopher Nolan's Oppenheimer came out last week. "Nukes R bad" has never been a more relevant take.
But did you have to make the message so boring?
Bob Dylan
4/5
I'd always imagined Robert D as more boring than this. Turns out this upbeat stuff is quite divisive to the "true fans" but I enjoyed it.
4/5
Dang that's a fun album. Drags a bit there in the mid, but some tracks slap hard.
The Rolling Stones
3/5
Cool Jojo reference
Overrated album.
Talking Heads
3/5
Fun, decent. Somewhat catchy.
Does NOT belong on this list.
Bruce Springsteen
5/5
The energy of Meatloaf, the piano work of Elton John, and the sax of Michael Bolton.
The Boss is boss. I didn't expect to enjoy this so much.
Joe Ely
2/5
What's the opposite of ASMR? Fingernails and the slide guitar in Because of the Wind are so bad they'd make baby jesus cry.
I did enjoy Boxcars tho.
Radiohead
5/5
I guess I grew into this album - haven't listened since I was a teen, and found it boring as hell then.
Now I think it's pretty sick.
Pearl Jam
5/5
This album whips hard as steel. It's aged wonderfully and I should know, it was released the same year I was.
The Byrds
3/5
Weird as hell. Not too great to listen with a hangover. Backwards sitars and actual ayyyyliens chattering in my ear.
Koffi Olomide
3/5
Sickly sweet chiptune-karaoke-ass sounds and repetitive melodies and rhythms.
It did grow on me, rapist or no.
Marilyn Manson
4/5
My teen years are back with a vengeance.
I'm surprised how well this holds up, rapist or no.
Jimi Hendrix
4/5
I do adore Jimi. That said, this one faffs and twaddles on a bit.
Still, some of his GOAT belters on this album.
Bob Dylan
2/5
I get it, Robert D is kind of a big deal.
I just can't stand his sound.
1/5
Please just fuck off
Leonard Cohen
5/5
No notes. No jokes or funnies.
This album is fucking good.
Supergrass
5/5
Right up my alley. Only heard "Alright" before now, but the rest of the album whips hard as nails. Belter.
The Band
4/5
It keeps it fresh and has aged well for sure. Very pleasant, just what I needed on a Monday.
The Who
3/5
Very confusing. People are talking about a 37 minute cut, whereas the version I listened to had a 15 minute rendition of "My Generation" alone.
I mean, it's fine. Not their best. And it's a live album.
The Who
4/5
Guess I didn't know The Who half as well as I thought - who's this Beatles wannabe band? And why are they so good?
Keith you mad bastard.
Kraftwerk
4/5
It took til the second listen to notice the release year. That's wild that this album is old enough to have hip problems. It sounds a little aged but damn, they rocked it here.
Bob Dylan
2/5
I do not like that man Bob D,
singing way too nasally.
Harmonica near burst my ears,
The rest of it bored me to tears.
There's five more albums to come
Blow more wind right out yer bum.
R.E.M.
3/5
Half snoozy, half catchy. Pilgrimage is a fun track.
Massive Attack
2/5
Dull and discordant. That cover at the end might be the worst thing I've heard in my life.
Kanye West
5/5
Some choice lyrics:
What's a black beatle anyway, a fuckin roach? // Choke a South Park writer with a fishstick. // You ever have sex with a pharaoh? I put the pussy in a sarcophagus.
The man was on top of it all, the GOAT for a moment. Shame really.
Daft Punk
1/5
Album edits are usually that - edited. This is the same bleary thumping crap that you need drugs to enjoy.
Not a good album. I'm amazed and glad DP actually kept it up past this, but what a dogshit start.
Fugazi
4/5
Keeps it simple for the most part, which make the deviations and trills stand out - the drums on Brenda #1, for example.
Angry, grounded, good shit.
Bob Marley & The Wailers
5/5
Exodus is excellent. In other news, water is still wet and Snoop smokes trees.
All worries lift away during Two Little Birds
Ramones
4/5
Fun fact : the running speed of the player hunter in Monster Hunter Generations follows the exact same tempo as the song "Now I wanna sniff some glue".
Good stuff
The Residents
1/5
I get "albums you must listen to before you die" doesn't mean "good albums" but this is just taking the piss.
Morbid curiosity held me in for the duration, and I'm never going back.
Sufjan Stevens
5/5
Whimsical. Kitsch. Wes Anderson set to vinyl.
I love it.
Circle Jerks
2/5
Just.. not good
Pixies
4/5
Pushed all the right buttons for me. Rough but cheeky ;)
Jack White
4/5
Thinking backon my life, Jack White has always been there, like some sort of cosmic constant. White Stripes, thru the Raconteurs and now this. Keep on keeping on Jack my boy.
Sparks
5/5
The kind of album that gets me rethinking all my previous 5s.
This shit slaps so hard!!
Eric Clapton
2/5
It's covers? And they're lackluster? What a disappointment
Ash
2/5
Not significant or important or even good enough for this list.
Also, without Spotify, impossible to find online. Who cares, Ash?
George Harrison
4/5
Album plays like a recipe. There's Oasis, Bowie, Dylan, all here and there. And like a recipe, a good long waffle about shit all.
George, dude. Why use lot song when few song do trick?
David Bowie
4/5
I'm a big Bowie fan. Or am I ? This album just didn't click like his others.
I dunno, I'd think even Dave would say this isn't his best. Not so sure if it even belongs on the list.
Throwing Muses
3/5
Absolutely fine. Some songs start strong then just fall flat. I think this list is wearing me down, because I've certainly heard worse.
Sebadoh
2/5
Initial impression, the band name reminds me of trig function shit (sohcahtoa). Bad start.
First few tracks made me want to punch my own ticket. Abysmal start.
It got better (it was hard to get worse) but not by much.
Anthrax
4/5
\m/
My face meat did not slough off of my skull. My eyes and ears did not spontaneously bleed black bile. I did not find myself somehow pregnant with Our Holy Lucifers own child.
I did have a good time tho.
The Go-Go's
4/5
Fun, bouncy, damn good.
Violent Femmes
5/5
OK, damn, that's a STRONG open. 1983??? I could have sworn this was a late 90s belter.
Kickass front to back. Very cool.
The Jesus And Mary Chain
1/5
My brother in christ, you took extremely mid songs and stuck belt sanders and reverb over the top of them. So much that it hurts to listen with headphones.
Utter bullshit. I don't have time for this.
Run-D.M.C.
5/5
This was just a bad ad for KFC.
..not bad meaning bad, but bad meaning good.
David Holmes
1/5
What an utter pile of faff and tosh. Be better Dave, this bored the bleeding pants off me.
Public Enemy
3/5
I've never enjoyed PE all that much, but as a pale white brit I'm not exactly their target audience.
Gotta appreciate those catchy hooks, tho.
The Kinks
4/5
Some red hot lines: We are the custard pie appreciation consortium.
I bet you're fat and married and you're always home in bed by half past eight.
This album is the definition of twee.
Butthole Surfers
4/5
Chunky, crunchy, not entirely unpleasant. Sounds more like Nine Inch Nails than Nirvana.
Grizzly Bear
3/5
Imagine Arcade Kings of Mumfords sounding ass.
Absolute middle of the road fine.
Roni Size
2/5
Snoozefest. This album overstayed it's welcome so much, it put a tent up in my living room and left its feet sticking out the flap, muddying up my rug.
Being boring is more sinful than being bad.
Air
4/5
Oh snap it's that song from that one ad.
Chunky funky synth vibes, pretty fun.
Janelle Monáe
5/5
Really cool. Like really really cool. But, the Mona Lisa wouldn't benefit from being 15 feet wide. Learn to regulate girl. Edit it down. Still cool tho.
Pixies
2/5
Flat and boring. Just did not gel.
Jane's Addiction
3/5
Yooooo Guitar Hero 2 was my favourite in the series, and this brought me back.
That one track 3 intro with the drums has me thinking about "Love is a Battlefield", which I can't help but wish I was listening to instead.
Lynyrd Skynyrd
5/5
See yesterday - Guitar Hero 2 has the BEST soundtrack. Two in a row!
This album is a racist uncle on Thanksgiving. It's got some ass holes behind it, but damn, ain't no way I'm giving Free Bird less than a 5 dude.
Johnny Cash
5/5
Damn good album. The electric atmosphere and setting make this album quite unique.
..is what I thought before learning this guy has FOUR prison albums? Damn dude calm down.
I wanna know the logistics here. Are there murderers and rapists in this crowd or what? Just embezzlers? Tax avoiders? Strange.
Sonic Youth
2/5
Everyone who likes this liked it first when they were 16. Pure nostalgia bait. I am not one of those people.
Sonic youth? Grow up.
TV On The Radio
4/5
Like they told Trent Reznor to re-do Downward Spiral, "but happier?"
Also, take this saxophone. You'll know when to use it.
Orbital
1/5
Y'all are tryna make me hate electronic music or something and I do not appreciate it. Put this one back in the 90s.
Queen
5/5
Oh man, it happened again. I gotta retroactively rate all my 5s a 4 or something, since THIS is what a damn 5 sounds like.
Hopefully the first of many Queen albums.
The Police
3/5
Weird. But not weird enough. Didn't grip me.
Beastie Boys
5/5
If this gonna be that kinda party, I’m gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.
Thank you for bringing this line to my attention.
Dennis Wilson
3/5
Randy Newman meets Bruce Springsteen in slow motion, and worse than the sum of their parts.
Snoozefest.
Big Star
4/5
A very vague sound of good 70s rock. Never turning this off, but I wouldn't turn it on, strangely.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
2/5
Sad old man recites poetry.
Not how I want to spend my Friday.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
3/5
2009. Digital Mondays. Bumming fags outside while Mr Brightside or some other tosh gets everyone indoors foaming at the lips. Heads Will Roll comes on but I'm too drunk and spastic to realise I'm already dancing. Another good night. Top track. Rest of the album just sort of is there as well.
John Lennon
2/5
It's John Lennons Imagine. Come on. How is this not an instant classic?
That's what I thought going in.
Can you imagine, the only decent song is the title track, and even that has gone sour in recent years.
How? How is this album so.. boring?
Happy Mondays
4/5
This album is very 90s (not a compliment) and incredibly British (also not a compliment), but it pulls it off nonetheless. Lot of fun and catchy shit.
Morrissey
1/5
What a mopey sack. Get a life, Morrisons.
Bad Brains
4/5
Pushed the right buttons, jammed the right jams, and grooved some grooves I did not see coming. Bit clunky but solid.
Steely Dan
5/5
Fuck man, if this is dad rock, then put a baby in me I guess.
No Aja, but still no less worthy of a 5
The xx
1/5
Uninspired. Uninteresting. Uninstall. Unsubscribed. Unga bunga.
David Ackles
2/5
Weird showtune ass album. Kinda like a car crash. Not unhappy to have heard it, but never going back for more.
Ice Cube
4/5
Things I've learnt:
1. Ice Cube has an A-K
2. It's a good day for genocide
3. Nothing ever changes.
4. Ice Cube has an A-K
It was a good day.
Various Artists
3/5
Oh. Uh. Phil. You.. you shouldn't have.
(after reading up on the man) Jesus fucking Christ, you REALLY shouldn't have, Phil.
Pavement
1/5
Boring and naff. Norfring. Boffing. Barff.
I'd rather 127 hours myself than listen again.
Funkadelic
4/5
Damn they funky.
Then I was like damn, they rock.
Damn they songs go on forEVER.
Joy Division
3/5
That bass line slaps so hard. You know which one I'm talking about.
I wish they'd enjoy themselves a bit more. Sad sacks the entire time.
Cream
4/5
Truly the highest highs and lowest lows - the few songs with Ginger Baker on lead very nearly dropped the album a whole point.
Sunshine fucking SPANKS tho.
Afrika Bambaataa
1/5
I slip into a coma somewhere around the fifteenth "listen ladies". They say my eyes stir throughout "Renegades" but they are unable to resuscitate. My rest is fitful, harangued by neon leotards and baggy pants. The light caresses me and I "Go Go Pop" straight into the fourth layer of hell for my sins.
Don't let this be you. Skip this shite.
LCD Soundsystem
3/5
Schizophrenic ass album. Pick a lane.
Just kidding. You do you.
3/5
Bro I don't need this. Where good songs. No catchy. No cool.
Pulp
4/5
Some utter bops layered between flops. I had a strange time, but LET'S ALL MEET UP IN THE YEAR 2000
Prince
2/5
Um. I thought Prince was tight and funky? This was just a lackluster mixtape set to porn.
Artist formerly known as good, more like
Marianne Faithfull
4/5
One big hell yeah for heroin, if it makes a voice sound like that. Hot damn.
Why'd you let us suck your cock?
Ute Lemper
2/5
This album had two flavours - cheesy hammy slop, and the low effort live stuff they used to play at a restaurant I used to work at.
I hated that job.
I think I'm hungry.
Deee-Lite
4/5
I thought it was "Groovers in the hut" when I was young. One of my top 10 songs of all time.
Rest of the album doesn't quite live up, but it was fun
The Prodigy
5/5
Staying up late on the music channels (kerrang 363) just for a sniff of titty to this music vid. Good times.
Damn good album.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
3/5
mwa mwa mwa mwa mwaaa mwaaa mwaaa mwaaa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwaaa mwaaa mwaaa mwaaa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwaaa mwaaa mwaaa mwaaa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa
thank you
And now for our next song
hehehoo hoo he hoo he he hoo hoo hoo he he he hoohoohoo hehe he he hoohoo hoo he hoo hehehoo hoo he hoo he he hoo hoo hoo he he he hoohoohoo hehe he he hoohoo hoo he hehehoo hoo he hoo he he hoo hoo hoo he he he hoohoohoo hehe he he hoohoo hoo he hoo
Maps really is the diamond in the rough here. But I still kinda liked it.
Beck
4/5
This dude skirts a fine line between a bop and a migraine sometimes.
But fuck me if he ain't cool as a cucumber.
Joni Mitchell
4/5
Regina Spektor vibes, 30 years before. And I love RS.
Roxy Music
3/5
Clearly on this list because booba. Nowhere near as interesting or fun as the cover.
Paul Simon
4/5
Fantastic background music, some of the absolute best.
I wasn't expecting such a variety to be honest.
Björk
4/5
The instrument is her voice I get it nowww.
Seriously loved Play Dead. She makes strange noises that remind me of noises my wife makes.
Side note, is Bjork cancelled in China? She's impossible to find on QQ music.
1/5
67 was the same year Hendrix had two of his absolute GOAT albums. Disraeli Gears by Cream. The Doors, by (you guessed it) The Doors. SERGEANT FUCKING PEPPERS.
leave this shite in the dark ages.
The Divine Comedy
3/5
Strangely hammy, weirdly rapey, oddly energetic.
Really confused by this one. So middle of the road it goes.
Talking Heads
4/5
Got better on the second listen.
Then worse on the third.
Once In A Lifetime is a top 50 all time song, but the rest of the album be so different. And sometimes better.
Foo Fighters
4/5
One year later. New job. New city. New kitten. Same me. Like Dave I've had to reinvent myself a little recently. Maybe I too will get cancelled in my 50s. Who knows.
This album is the reason I came back, and I'd do it again. Better than I remember. Rougher, heavier, chunkier than new Foos. Solid album. Cheers lads.
Big Black
3/5
Ahhh that's why I stopped for a year. I remember now.
Didn't hate it.
New Order
2/5
Good grief, why does it sound like he's in pain when he sings.
Elegia, on the other hand, slaps HARD as a backdrop to a Metroid game. Their true calling, it seems, was to make music for Nintendo games.
Lorde
4/5
Not your typical* pop princess album!
*i assume. I don't listen to anything like this usually.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
Led Zep records come in two varieties :
A. This album FUCKS
B. This is an album for nerds who read Books. Namely, Tolkien.
Well, where does this one fall on the FUCKS - BOOKS spectrum?
Ask the puddle on my chair
Primal Scream
2/5
By all accounts I should love it. I do not.
Its simultaneously dated and too ahead of its time.
A no from me, dog.
Badly Drawn Boy
2/5
Hey, uh more like. boredly drawn boy.
They should call him uh.. badly snore boy right amirite
Maybe. He. Maybe he could be. Oh fuck it.
Frank Sinatra
2/5
Oh man. There's no voice quite like his. Nobody croons like Frankie. Makes the ladies swoon like Frankie. Sinatra the singer is unmatched.
The songwriter Sinatra, however, needed a kick in the head. This isn't music for listening. You put this on to meet your in-laws. My panties remain dry. Poor effort.
Talking Heads
5/5
Damn man, they went rock hard with this one. It's all over the place, in the best possible ways. That funky bass line! The piano licks!? It's the coolest shit. I'm not so hot on the vocals but I couldn't imagine them without em.
Beck
2/5
Lord release me. This pity party was not expected nor is it welcome. It's a slow burn, but instead of a candle at the end of a wick, it's a noose.
Dead Kennedys
5/5
This album touched me in a way I haven't been touched since uncle got ran out of town. This record slaps, kicks, bites and shits on the floor. I'm in love.
Jazmine Sullivan
1/5
We should strive to be better. We ought to leave things better off than how we found them. Rise above, if you will.
Instead of the review I was going to write, here's three albums you should be listening to instead :
OK Goodbye - The Fox and The Bird. Incredible modern prog metal.
Jellyfish - Spilt Milk. Excellent power pop, so fuckin fun.
Coheed and Cambria - Good Apollo IV. My single favourite album. "Welcome Home" alone is such a damn belter.
Good luck out there. Don't listen to shite just because an app told you to.
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
4/5
Couldn't access the album. Listened to their best of instead.
I tell ya, I like my prog like my women. Deeply weird and a touch too long in the back end.
The Rolling Stones
2/5
Lemme guess, this is one of MANY Stones albums on this list, because we need to cHarT tHEiR pRogGrEsS or sEe wHeRE tHey CaMe fRoM.
Can't we just have the good albums??
R.E.M.
4/5
Banger after banger after banger. Does get a bit samey by the end however.
Documents approved.
Aphex Twin
3/5
Yup. Sure is.
Jimmy Smith
4/5
Without looking it up, I'm guessing the "incredible" Jimmy Smith is the guy on sax, although the organist has chops too.
(damn Jimmy step it up, saxman gonna take yer chickens)
Album looped and I must have listened three or four times before realising it was the same 5 tracks.
LTJ Bukem
3/5
I'm here 5 days from Christmas, freezing my tits off on the ride into work, listening to whale and bird song d&b. Thank you Lil Tim Jimkins, for this gift. This is my life now and I accept.
Local Total Jellical Bukem you have a new worshipper to the shrine of bum tss
Fleetwood Mac
1/5
I haven't been this disappointed since Santa Claus. Be me, poking the album, going "dooooo somethinggggg".
That's rough bud.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
2/5
First half fucks. Or, californicates, if you will.
Second have left me Edinbored.
Creepy lyrics and whiny voice, and I'm Lon-done.
"What could be wetter than an English girl and American man ?"
lmao ew
Roxy Music
4/5
Lotta fun! This Roxy knows music
Marty Robbins
4/5
Real talk, the best thing the Fallout games did was introduce old-ass bangers like this to a new generation. I wouldn't have given the album much thought without them.
This kind of slaps? It's an album full of skits, sung with rich harmonies and twinkly Spanish guitar. What's not to love?
Sepultura
4/5
Oh man I love Anthrax !!
Who? But they sound just like...
Oh well
\m/ all the same
Isaac Hayes
2/5
Didn't ask bro
Yes
5/5
Yes is right.
KISS
2/5
Good Glam Rock just tickles a part of my brain so right. I should really listen to some after this album.
Booker T. & The MG's
4/5
Be me, pointing at the screen like Leonardo Dicaprio in the meme: I recognise that riff!
Nirvana
5/5
Nevermind is the gift that keeps on giving, as Mr Babypenis on the cover consistently attempts litigation based on dreams and fancy, which serves only to recruit more people to the "Have Seen This Dudes Dick" Club.
Its enough to make Kurt grin in his rest.
The Doors
4/5
Season one True Detective ass album.
Dad rock. No, Uncle rock. The weird uncle and the cool uncle.
Immaculate vibes, rough execution.
Black Sabbath
4/5
It rocks, slaps and knocked me dead. No notes.
Except.. we all heard Changes right?? Weepy piano ballads??? In MY sabbath?!!? It just ain't Christian.
Adele
4/5
Britain's finest export. I'd have a pint with Adele, she seems a right laugh. But dayumn does she have pipes.
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
3/5
The crowd goes mild.
Neil Young
3/5
Gotta appreciate the variety here, bongos to banjos, organs to harmonica. He even let's a sick turkey sing for him on a few tracks. Very kind of him.
Dad rock, except my dad likes Queen more.
Leonard Cohen
4/5
Lenny always was a sad and old huh.
This has all the charm of Dylan, with none of the nasally voice, so he's good in my books.
Sister Sledge
5/5
Drop your 9 to 5, take some ecstasy and do it for family. Then do it again.
What an album. If it's good enough for Will Smith and Daft Punk then it's good enough for me
Gene Clark
3/5
Feels like three albums in a trenchcoat.
The country folk is uninspired, the REM style rock ballads are kinda swingy
But when he hits his stride in Strength of Strings and starts spitting about fiery rain and rubies?? I feel it; I feel the cosmos.
Stevie Wonder
3/5
"You Haven't Done Nothin" slaps hard. More of this please. That's the Stevie I expected.
The Verve
3/5
You know that bit in Snatch where the pikeys fight back and burn it all down, Brick Top has his world come down around him and Brad Pitt is just standing there all cold and shit. This whole album is that moment, just non stop.
Except that bit had Oasis doing the song, which means it was just better.
The Allman Brothers Band
3/5
Masturbatory music at its finest.
As good as it is, wankery is still wankery.
Lou Reed
1/5
Fun Fact: this album is completely unavailable for streaming on any Chinese music apps. I had to use YouTube instead.
I would like to think this restriction has nothing to do with the trans symbology of the cover, and is simply because this album is so bloody boring.
Jorge Ben Jor
4/5
Damn man, the vibes are vibrant here. Very nice album front to back. And bonus - I feel so damn worldly having listened to it!
In fact, I think I'll go make a black friend after I'm done.
The Killers
3/5
I was a 13 year old lad in Britain when this released, it may as well have been our National Anthem for that decade. That being said, I will try my best to remain impartial when reviewi-JEAAAAALOUSY
Black Sabbath
5/5
Look up "rock" in the dictionary, you know what you'll find?
You'll find the definition of the word "rock", which this album fucking is.
Van Morrison
5/5
That's my shit right there. Moondance (the song) has always been my go-to karaoke song, but who knew that Moondance (the album) had so much more to offer!
The Beau Brummels
2/5
Half the album is a bad B Dylan impression, the other half an airy, twangy flurry of strings and wobbly voices.
I can't stand Bob Dylan. And the trippy isn't trippy enough.
They gotta smoke more of that goo-goo-gajoob shit.
Oasis
3/5
Sounds like they're trying to bridge the gap between grunge and indie rock, and didn't do either particularly well.
Here's the funniest thing tho - In the remastered version, they must have remixed it to crank up the whiney voices! What a goof!
...what do you mean that's just how they sound?
Al Green
4/5
Man's came a long way since "Daddy Would You Like Some Sausage". Good for him.
Grateful Dead
1/5
I listened to this album one time and my room now stinks.
Thank god I didn't listen to the deluxe version, is all I'll say.
Sabu
1/5
Dios mio.
This might be the most interesting and culturally resonant piece of shit I've ever listened to.
I begged the bongos (congas??) to stop one minute into a six minute solo. When the guitar arrived I pleaded for the bongos (????) once more.
Not enough ayahuasca, 1 star.
The Associates
1/5
This album got me thinking. About my aunt, who recently passed. She would have loved this. She always loved the worst crap from this age. I wish I could still ask her about it. Love ya Kerry xx
Beatles
3/5
Just when you think you have an original thought, the top review proves you very wrong.
Didn't think I could be surprised by Beatles of all bands, but "Any Time At All" was a snap-keep for me.
It's not Good Beatles, but it's maybe the best Shitty Beatles album, thanks to those lush harmonies. Top of the Slops.
David Bowie
5/5
Holy funky soul. And.. R&B?? In my Bowie album??! A side of the man I've never experienced before, and I LOVED it.
Sax reminded me of Springsteen's Thunder Road. Now that's a model Young American.
Iron Maiden
5/5
*confused delighted screaming*
No Bruce but.. still good?!!
Funkadelic
5/5
This album shreds, slaps and fucks.
Man does it fuck.
Tina Turner
3/5
One of the best voices in the biz, buttttt...
This album is an absolute relic.
WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO - GOT TO DO WITH It gets a whole point by itself however!
Ray Charles
5/5
Well that's just great, now my ears are pregnant.
OutKast
4/5
I settle down on the sofa with my wife and our newborn son, our little Christmas miracle. Our daughter had been asking for a baby brother for Christmas ever since she could talk, and she sits on the floor, excitedly showing her new family member her gifts from Santa. The fireplace is lit, the music is playing and life is.. very good. I catch myself smiling at my wife, and she notices and returns the grin before asking "what?". "I love you" I respond. "I love you too" she says as she snuggles in closer. And then, a noise I haven't heard in a long time - two men, or more, clapping their hands and speaking in unison "BREAK".
"Did you hear that?" I ask my wife, looking around to see where the noise came from, but she is already standing up and taking off a wig, throwing down our son onto the floor. My daughter sighs and says, in an uncharacteristically deep voice, "finally" before going out for a smoke. My son is a prop doll. My whole life was a skit. I look into my hands and weep.
Pretty good album.
2/5
More like "Whiff o' whiffout poo" amirite, more like, "Where the sheets have no stains" right?*
*these are the only two good songs on the album actually, the rest is sadly boring and performed by cunts.
Björk
4/5
Wildly interesting and very complex. I do like a bit of Drum and Bjass.
Njot bjad
Pavement
2/5
I'm getting whiffs of Modest Mouse. I'm getting hints of Sonic Youth. I'm getting an urge to listen to those bands instead. But mostly I'm just getting bored.
Queen
5/5
It's Queen's most Led Zeppelin-pilled album, so the easiest 5 I'll ever give.
And if that ain't one of the GOAT blunt rotations.
Just put down the pipe when Ogre Battle starts. Fastest way into a deep K hole known to man
Depeche Mode
3/5
I had the exact opposite experience listening to this album as I did with Violater - it gets rapidly worse with repeated listens.
The pacing on some of these songs is slow as a wake, but not on purpose.
Strangelove shouldn't be THIS much better than the rest of the album. And, conversely, I Want You Now should be thrown into the sun.
Perfectly balanced. Take my 2.5 rounded up and fuck off
Creedence Clearwater Revival
5/5
I love the way he sings as if yelling from the other room. Or how he "hoyd it" through the grapevine.
If things went a little differently in my life I could see CCR being my favourite band.
Bonnie Raitt
1/5
Shania Twain't
5/5
Lmao
Blondie
4/5
Genuinely surprised by the scope of this album. "I know but I don't know" has riffs that wouldn't feel out of place on some Rush albums, and "Fade Away and Radiate" does a great impression of psychedelic rock. Kinda.
Blondie is best at it's bounciest and brightest however. Sunday Girl, Heart if Glass, Will Anything Happen all slap.
Keep it simple, stupid.
Paul Simon
4/5
The "Diamonds" into "Call Me Al" combo needs to be nerfed, it's way too overpowered.
Rest of the album has no such cause for alarm.
Fred Neil
2/5
The lyrics "..this world may never change." being written in 1966 is just so funny to me. Little did you know, Fred.
Nowadays it be like "wtf change it back".
All except the music. Don't change that back.
Goldie
1/5
No song gets to be 21 minutes without having earned it. Which means there can be only one 21 minute song and that's The Odyssey by Symphony X, obviously.
"This is a bad", indeed. Understatement much.
Heaven 17
1/5
Deepstate-underground-illuminati-nazi scientists have been studying this album since 1970 trying to harness it's supernatural amnesiac qualities. Yes, you read that right. 1970. This is the fifteenth time the album was released. It was just so potently forgettable on each previous iteration that everyone repeatedly forgot it existed - even the band.
Nirvana
5/5
It's not quite "Nevermind" but that's not saying anything at all. You may as well be comparing the heat of two separate suns, the beauty of two different mountain ranges.
It's like comparing two Nirvana albums. Pointless. Just enjoy.
Muddy Waters
5/5
The gravelly voice. The honkytonky keys. The SHREDDING guitar. Even the harmonica has a wail of a good time here. LAWD HAVE MERCY.
My new favourite colours are blue and black.
Electric Light Orchestra
5/5
Back to back 1977, and back to back 10 outta 10 albums (this and Muddy Waters Hard Again).
From Blues legend to Blue sky. Class.
Mike Ladd
3/5
These raps are giving Lin Manuel Miranda. I can see Lafayette in my mind. Mike was clearly ahead of the game.
Weird.
The Roots
4/5
You're listening to 99.8ADHD, the only radio station that wait your oven is still running. Coming up, the absolute highest highs and truly the lowest lows - Thirsty will make you feel ten years younger, and Water will rip those years right away again.
This album is unreviewable. It's an anomaly. It's fuckin good shit, except when it's dogwater.
Metallica
5/5
The m in \m/ stands for Metallica.
Dusty Springfield
2/5
As a pedant, I must say that "Do Re Mi" doesn't work if you sing it that way.
Also "empty" and "gone" aren't colours. What's wrong Dusty, you ran out of stereotypes?
Maybe I just wasn't enjoying myself enough to get over the niggles.
Or maybe I don't respect the youth.
Doves
2/5
Everyone's already made the Coldplay comparison, rightfully so. How do they hold up to other aviary themed bands?
Eagles? One sided.
Byrds?? Not a fair fight.
Pigeon Detectives??? Close but still nah.
Doves are the shittiest birds, confirmed here.
Astor Piazzolla
4/5
This is a man with the fingers of an angel. For as long as I've known bandoneon exist I've wanted to be his bandoneon. The way he makes it sing. That could be me. I would wail so good.
Ahem. This album had me feeling stuff. Didn't expect to be enjoying this today. So thanks for that, Astor.
Gram Parsons
1/5
"Love is like a stove. It burns you when it's hot."
Lord protect this man from the things I want to say.
Derek & The Dominos
4/5
The album title doesn't fuck about. There is exactly one main character track on this album, and it's name rhymes with "Schmayla".
The rest is a looooooooong bluesy rock n roll jaunt. Solid, mostly, with some stinkers.
But boy, Layla alone raises the score a point and a half
Sarah Vaughan
3/5
Good voice, dull songs.
I do love that they leave in all the nitty gritty. That's fun.
Rod Stewart
2/5
What a slog.
Grandad always said never trust a man with two first names.
The xx
3/5
Very ambient and swoopy, most prominent in Performance, with its sad sweeping Hans Zimmer style strings.
Unlike Hans Zimmer, they don't have the oomph, zip or pep to bring it all home. Just airy sadness.
Queen
5/5
Mamma Mia.
First time with the album, and it is striking how weird it all is, from front to beautiful back. Bohemian Rhapsody might not be the strangest song on the album - it fits right in, snuggled neatly in its place.
God Save the Queen. They're our finest export, bar none.
Michael Jackson
3/5
Had a good time, wasn't blown away.
Maybe expectations were too high.
Oh well. I'll stop, I've had enough.
The Smiths
2/5
I could never be a goth. I don't know what he did to me in a past life, but these vocals put my hackles on edge and send me to sleep all at once. Such a deal breaker for me.
Rahul Dev Burman
2/5
No thanks, cha cha cha.
Fuck that, cha cha cha.
Pere Ubu
1/5
I woke up this morning in a good mood and with no trace of hangover.
Thank god for Pere Ubu to make things right again.
Here is a retelling of what definitely actually happened:
Pere steps back to admire his completed album, one hand on his chin. "Something's missing.." he muses. Then, inspiration! He unzips. "Perhaps some hot piss! Yes, that's what's missing" he crackles to himself. "I'm so fucking smart"
Donald Fagen
3/5
Steely Don, New Recipe!
All the gas, a fraction of the sugar.
The Verve
3/5
Iconic? Definitely. Boring? Sure is.
And it just goes on and on and on.
Cut like, 10 tracks out it still gets the same score.
The Temptations
4/5
Damn that's pretty funky. Very chill vibes. For some reason I really feel this would be a perfect record to go alongside a nice bath.
Anyone says "Papa was a Rolling Stone" isn't too long has lost they damn mind however.
Sinead O'Connor
4/5
It's like a punk album in slow motion. Really started to grow on me.
Nothing Compares 2 "Nothing Compares 2 U" tho.
The Chemical Brothers
3/5
This is outrageous.
Dexys Midnight Runners
3/5
Bouncy, peppy, ska-y fun. Rough around the edges.
Considering the band name effectively means "Cokey's Nighttime Smugglers" I'm gonna let them off with less polish. Wish it had "Come on Eileen" tho
Led Zeppelin
5/5
This album fucks so hard it's not even fair. It's so dank, hobbits want to smoke it. It's so good, their Greatest Hits is just this album played twice.
Eminem
4/5
Cringe and shite. More please.
Marvin Gaye
2/5
Look. I'm human. You're human. We're all a little gay for Gaye. And that's okay.
What's not okay is singing about paying alimony.
C'mon Marvin. Stop being a sad sack. I hate to see you like this.
One bonus point to the trumpet player on Sparrow. Dude can really chirp.
Brian Eno
2/5
Probably definitely how it feels to contract some form of aural schizophrenia.
Kate Bush
4/5
Incredibly weird and weirdly incredible. I love a bit of Bush.
The Smashing Pumpkins
4/5
Been trying to put my finger on why I could never give Smash Pizkit a 5 and I've got it. It's the voice. Billy is always either drop dead boring, or sounds like he's squeezing out a big angsty poo.
Bet you're not smiling politely now.
Them drums do go hard as nails however.
David Bowie
4/5
The Spiders have all flown back to Mars and Ziggy is dead. This album is just Bowie and his mortality. I hate it for making me feel old, but I can't deny the timeless charm of the man.
Meat Puppets
2/5
A love letter to ADHD.
Hawkwind
4/5
Maybe my orgones are all aligned correctly, or maybe I just fucking love space and titties. This ticks all my boxes.
The White Stripes
4/5
Why use many drums when few do trick
Santana
5/5
Not every dong is a 10 outta 10 but the sum of its widdly woodly parts is one bitchin record.
Big Brother & The Holding Company
5/5
Love the band name. Love the cover. Love the energy here. This is my jam, onichan
Bob Dylan
3/5
Is this finally a good Dylan album? Is this the infamous electric departure of his? How about none of the above??
Nothing of particular note here. It's totally fine and doesn't sound anything like Bob D (this is a good thing).
Paul Revere & The Raiders
1/5
Very brave to put "Little Girl" so early on. I almost didn't make it any further. I would bet I'm not alone in that aspect.
If I HAD turned it off I would have missed out on such hits as the SECOND version of Little Girl - this time con espana! Mierda !
Ice Cube
1/5
To namedrop a 2007 masterpiece - this album had me like "Are We Done Yet?"
Embarrassing.
Deep Purple
4/5
I hope I age as gracefully as this record. This is like the ultimate dad rock and I love it.
Maybe I love it too much... gotta check with my exes, make sure there isn't a mini me out there somewhere.
Ella Fitzgerald
4/5
Oh come on Ella, you know you can't do that. Maybe the roaring 50s were a lawless place but nobody has 3+ hours in this economy.
The worst part is that it all rocks.
Red Snapper
2/5
Like Massive Attack with zero tact. Or soul. Or self-awareness.
Aim higher, boys.
The Cure
4/5
Guess I'll never judge a goth by it's cover again - this album has some bangers on it.
I was expecting a deep depression to sink in. I instead got a deep depression to sink in, and some sweet summer tracks for my riding playlist (Closedown, Lullaby and Fascination Street).
Ride
1/5
A droning cacophony of lukewarm piss and sludge. Boring as hell.
ZZ Top
4/5
Fantastic midlife crisis soundtrack. Some absolute bangers rubbing shoulders with some leery creepy ballads. Dirty old bastards. Love it.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
3/5
Am I a grown up? This album just seems to annoy me now.
Under the Bridge gets two points alone however.
Massive Attack
3/5
Second 1991 album in a row (after Blood Sugar Sex Magick) and second midfest in a row too. On my birth year of all things. Yawn.
Also, two Massive Attack albums Jeremy? You must be insane.
Ryan Adams
3/5
The kind of album that's nobody's favourite, but sits in a peripheral "good stuff" area. Like Stereophonics. Or the colour yellow.
90 minutes tho? Never trust a man with two first names.
MC Solaar
5/5
Third 91 album this week and finally some good fuckin food.
The flow is FIRE. Chill x infinity. The record has that jenousai quoi. Fuck you I don't know French.
The Doors
5/5
This is a fuckin cool album. This album smokes cigarettes and wears leather pants and calls it's mum once a day. This album is stone cold cool as fuck. Swoon.
Elliott Smith
3/5
Went in with zero expectations, came out having enjoyed myself but now I think about it I can't remember a single song.
Just vague memories of swoopy sounding verses and Beatles-esque singing.
The United States Of America
5/5
These guys can taste the snozzberries. They've caught the dragon. The Pink Elephant goes to these guys for his hookups. You think a simple 1 to 5 number scale would work for an album like this? They're so beyond numbers they CAN even.
Simple Minds
1/5
Yawn. I've no nostalgia at all for this. There's brighter, wetter, sexier 80s albums out there, what is this doing on the list??
Brian Wilson
4/5
Whimsical, with a big W.
I just.. It's funny to me. How this album, a soundtrack full of penny whistle swoops and power tools and all kinds of goofy silly imagery was someone's White Whale. That's a golden skit - Paggliachi the Clown, unable to put pen to paper due to anxiety, but when he finally does it's the silliest shit you've ever heard. He honks his nose and the world looks on in amazement, a slow clap erupts, flowers thrown onstage, curtain drop.
I get the importance and it really is beautiful, but it's definitely very funny in a way.
Moby
5/5
Never gave Moby a second thought before today.
I get it now.
This album fucks.
King Crimson
5/5
I'm blown away. 1969? Why did we keep making music after this? How did they have this fully formed ready to go as a debut? Why is Moonchild just another version of The Nightman Cometh??
Its not perfect but it's fuckin cool as hell and I had a whale of a time. Long live the Crimson King.
Sleater-Kinney
5/5
This hits the spot so sweet, and I'm not sure why. It's accessible, like a femme foo fighters, but it kicks like the sex pistols at times.
Grrl Power
Elis Regina
4/5
Toe-tappin wide-brim-hattin vibrant Latin tunes.
This isn't Mexican restaurant music. This is ADVANCED Mexican Restaurant Music !!
Baaba Maal
3/5
That's cool or whatever man. You do you.
The Offspring
3/5
Can't think of a worse album on a hangover. Whiny and relentless.
Count Basie & His Orchestra
5/5
After three plus listens I'm finding it difficult to identify anything I don't like about this album, especially that name and cover. That's the 2025 equivalent of a band releasing the album "Saddam's Bunker Busters" it's just so damn American. Good shit, Count Basie.
The Isley Brothers
4/5
It's funky and it rocks. I've heard better but could do worse.
Goldfrapp
3/5
As far as floaty marshmallow princess indie goes this is exactly middle of the road. Not quirky enough to be Regina Spektor, not heavy enough to be St Vincent. I remember enjoying myself, but I can't remember a single song.
Lyrics to Clown go hard tho.
Linkin Park
5/5
My first gig. Little 12 year old me, with stars in his eyes. Lostprophets were opening for them. Those guys would've loved me back then. But this is not about that.
Never, in my twelve long years of life, had an artist struck me like Linkin Park. In The End will give anyone a nostalgic kick up the arse, and to me it was the coolest shit in the world.
It still is, frankly. 12 year old me was so right.
Meat Loaf
5/5
What is a Best Of album doing on here? How is that fair?
What do you mean it isn't ??!
Mr Loaf, can I call you Meat? You made the single best driving album of all time. Thank you for that. You were still a bit of a cunt.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
4/5
Solid record, good vibes, all despite the folksy country leanings.
And you can't say he outstays his welcome. The albums over before it really starts.
PJ Harvey
2/5
Modest Mouse vibes with manic pixie nonsense and discordant warbling added for extra effect. Not for me thanks.
Fairport Convention
4/5
When the fiddles get a-fiddlin and her voice goes a-soaring it gets right up my alley. Reminds me very much of my friends old folksy band, and I'm very thankful for the memories.
As the tapir said to the elephant: it's a bit bloody long isn't it?
Napalm Death
3/5
This was meant to be enjoyed caught in a mosh, in a cacaphony of flying hair, sweat and teeth - not on a dawnlit commute into work.
I prefer my metal to have more hairspray and leather but game recognises game. This fuckin shreds.
The Specials
4/5
Definitely feels like I'm visiting ska Mecca. Thank Christ Rudy was such a fuck up they had to write this belter of an opening track.
Steely Dan
5/5
Black Cow is simply the best song about Pilk you're gonna hear, and that's a fact.
Another fact, this album has been played so much by me before now it's impossible to rate with fresh ears.
Steely Summer every summer.
Raekwon
3/5
The flow is sick and the clarity is on point. Just a shame this man has nothing nice to say. Rude.
Elliott Smith
2/5
Sopping wet emo wankery. Nah cheers.
Tom Waits
5/5
"I'm so goddamn horny, the crack of dawn better be careful around me"
Tom Waits is an absolute class act and this album is like lightning in a bottle, only quicker. This is an album of monologues with a light jazz accompaniment, i.e. my kinda shi.
Buddy Holly & The Crickets
5/5
We need more of this! Even the sad songs are chipper and bright.
Unexpected little gem.
Television
5/5
This could have been released in 1977 or 2007 and it's sending me. It's like a best of Rolling Stones, Libertines, Talking Heads, all in one neat debut record.
"This band is your favourite band's favourite band" kinda shit.
Tears For Fears
5/5
Holy quintessential 80s batman. Talk about "best in show", how about "best of a decade" ??
I'm gonna add over half these songs to my driving playlist now and you can't stop me.
Jane Weaver
2/5
How do I put this. If this album were a soup, it would have all the tang and zest, but somehow, somebody forgot the meat. There's no substance, it's just wobbly synths and floaty "singing".
T. Rex
4/5
When I was in secondary school there was this house party. My mate Mike (he went by Myk at that time - same pronunciation, edgier spelling) was with Rachel, and her bestie Lucy was having a party for her birthday so we were all invited. Like any typical 17 year-old lad I was wankered in no time at all. The night was, rightfully, a hazy blur. Some things I do remember: I loudly announced my recent ex-girlfriend at the time had cheated on me. I told the birthday girl to "shut up and fuck off". But most importantly, there was Cat. Nobody knew his real name (or maybe I just prefer the mystery) but we all knew Cat. He had glam metal hair, smokey eyes and he played the guitar like it was an extension of his own body. His favourite band was T-Rex. I don't know how it happened, and he's well out of my league, but I snogged Kat for a grand four seconds before pulling away confused and ashamed. I'm sure I remember him saying "woah" after I broke the connection but I was too busy finding something, anything else to distract myself and forget what we'd done. Well, I still remember even today. I'm decidedly not gay and am happily married to my wife of six years. But those soft lips have me wondering "what if".
Er. Albums good.
David Bowie
4/5
Of the many Bowie records I've generated so far, this one has the most Goblin King energy of them all by a factor of about 100.
The more I hear, the more I'm convinced this is no mere record, but a prophetic rite of some sort.
He will rise again. Just believe.
The Velvet Underground
2/5
Boring Yank bootleg Beatles that don't know the meaning of brevity. Every song dragged on for hours.
I was quite excited for this one too. What a let down.
AC/DC
4/5
One hell of a song. So good they recorded it ten times and called it an album!
I kid. Kind of.
Simple is just better sometimes.
John Cale
2/5
We have Sergeant Peppers at home
The Beach Boys
5/5
I don't get it. I haven't heard of any of these songs. Why is it so bloody good?
Beautiful melodies, gorgeous harmonies, heavy intent. Who knew the Beach Boys fucked?
Rush
5/5
Please rise for the Canadian national anthem. And.. stay there for 20 minutes.
Some of the later tracks are hot or miss but it don't matter because the title track is 2112 outta ten. Space opera prog sensation??? Yes fucking please
Dr. Dre
3/5
This album is angry, aggressive and abrasive, from the lyrics and themes to even the production and the shrill, piercing instrumentation. As a white male I feel unsafe and unwelcome. So, uh. mission accomplished I guess.
The songs where it's some dudes cosplaying as big dick murderers, ain't it pal.
Magazine
5/5
Smells like brit landfill rock and tastes so sweet. Kaiser Chiefs could never. Kasabian can suck it. Hoosiers who? This shit came out in the 70s and that is blowing my nut off. Awesome.
The Fall
4/5
Maaaan, fuck you for growing on me. Chunky punky scruggly sounds. Like a drunk and loose Dead Kennedys but British.
Some songs still annoy the piss out of me tho.
The Cure
2/5
Oh man, The Cure never disappoint! I went in expecting boring goth crap, and they delivered!! Nice.
Joni Mitchell
4/5
Second Joni record, and second time being pleasantly surprised. This ones got the toe-tappin happy slappin vibes to it that get em goin wild.
Not all great, but when it's great it's something special.
Arcade Fire
5/5
Funeral is better but this is still dead good. Simple as.
Cypress Hill
4/5
We had N.W.A., now how about N.W.a sense of humour? This shits groovy and goofy in equal measure, and the sampling is sublime. Enjoyed it more than I expected to, frankly.
Simon & Garfunkel
4/5
Old people talking vs Hazy shade of winter is the original Coughing Baby vs Hydrogen Bomb. It gives the album one hell of a split personality feel.
Stevie Wonder
4/5
Patch Notes
The one-two punch of Sir Duke / I Wish is nerfed. It was too broken.
Coolio and Will Smith were removed from admin status.
That one song with Wii Menu Music mistakenly used as backing was fixed.
Isn't She Lovely has been duplicated in place of all the filler tracks. Now it appears 6 or so times on the album.
Seriously, when it's great it's incredible, but anyone can see this album is too long. Save some for the nineteenth, Stevie!
Mike Oldfield
4/5
When he said "plus TUBULAR BELLS" I started pumping my fists, crying and shitting all at once. My body couldn't handle it.
The Soft Boys
3/5
40 tracks?! Fuck off. I'm raring albums, not odysseys.
Cut down to ten? That's better.
You can see a through line from "Help!" era Beatles, straight to the Sex Pistols and on toward Franz Ferdinand, and it all goes through this. That's good, I guess.
But I won't be adding any songs to my playlist. So that's bad.
Steve Winwood
2/5
It's just a mocktail Phil Collins. Lionel Ritchie, sans the Lion. Where's the oomph? Where is the sledgehammer??? This is more like a squeaky mallet.
Willie Nelson
4/5
Never trust a ginger.
Found myself enjoying this album somewhat, despite repetition and somber vibes. But the best track is the hootenanny piano nonsense.
Public Enemy
5/5
Somehow both terribly dated and never more relevant than today.
Fight for your right to fight, boyyyyyyy
Jeff Buckley
5/5
This whole album was pure gourmet. No simple grilled cheese, each track had layers of complexity and spice running through to the finish, the flavours mingling and evolving right there in your mouth. Jeff really cooked here. This album is a perfect curry, the spices and herbs each adding their own weight but the rich gravy that is his voice carrying the whole affair on its back. I suppose Hallelujah is the naan then.
I've said Grace, now let's dig in.
Antony and the Johnsons
3/5
This message is important for someone, but not for me. And the delivery leaves something to be desired.
Jane's Addiction
4/5
Call me a contrarian, but I think flaming tits are cool.
The album is pretty sweet too.
The Stone Roses
4/5
Fun that you can trace through Beatles to Pulp entirely through this album.
What's not fun is how much the album drags on. 10 minute Fools Gold? Come off it mate.
Michael Kiwanuka
5/5
Holyyyyy. The vibes be immaculate here. Gimme more strings. More moody. More choir. Gimme Hero. Nah, turn down the sombre and crank up the guitar, and do it again. Now do like a Jimi Hendrix thing but like, use piano and shit. Nice. Niceeee.
Einstürzende Neubauten
2/5
O mein got, du hast uberfokkenkillenmelten meine ears, dude.
Nicht so gut.
Nein out of ten.
Jungle Brothers
4/5
Cheesy like a stinkin bishop and twice as funky. It's like a "Where's Wally" of samples too - Free Bird, Hooked on a Feeling, and no doubt a ton more I missed.
Its just so damn dated.
Don McLean
4/5
Well pull up my britches and get my red white n blue ready, it's karaoke time. Easy top ten singalong tune there.
Also Vincent reminds me of my grandma, so thanks for that.
Little Richard
4/5
Energy for days and a growling shout that rumbles me on the inside oh so right. Iconic, sure, but very samey. That's blues I guess.
James Brown
4/5
What the. Why are my ears wet??
Adam & The Ants
2/5
I can't imagine in what world this is "essential".
Despite what everyone tackling this list thinks, Britain in the 80s did actually have something good to give the world, musically.
This is just chaotic, silly and lacks clear direction. Much like Britain today, actually.
Spacemen 3
2/5
Every song takes way too long to make a point, and any glimmer of enjoyment gets choked out by the drones. Gods, the drones.
I don't have the patience for this shit, not today.
I'm sorry spacemen, I just need some space, man.
Ghostface Killah
4/5
I was ready to write this off, til I read the lyrics to Jellyfish. They are ADORABLE, what a sweetie pie.
Go read those lyrics before you rate this album. I guarantee it's worth your while.
David Bowie
4/5
Album is the epitome of "too weird to live; too beautiful to die".
Lazarus and Dollar Days make me want to weep and weep and weep, whereas the rest of the album is a saxophonical cacophony of echoes and warbling.
★ out of ten for the man and the legacy. (and a high 7 for this album)
The White Stripes
4/5
Look, I love Meg and Jack, but this is not essential listening. Not even close.
The piano adds just a lil extra where needed, Jack's nasal voice is the voice of a generation and those understated drums tie the place together.
Good, not great.
Radiohead
3/5
Whiny vocals, zero standout tracks, gritty electronic drums running the whole time.
Of the sixty or so Radiohead albums on this list (I can only assume), this is the first one you line up for me? I've heard worse, but man.
Dolly Parton
3/5
It's all very nice and harmonious and all that. It's just so bloody clean. I want that dirty Parton, that flogging Molly Parton.
Its fine for what it is tho.
Marvin Gaye
3/5
Essential? Yeah, probably.
Great listening? Far from it.
What's going on Marv? This album drags.
The Rolling Stones
5/5
The kind of album that spoils the Stones for you. It's really good.
Gimme Shelter might be best in show when it comes to songs in general, and everything after (except Honky Tonk) slaps.
You can cream on me.
Joan Armatrading
5/5
This kind of slaps?
It's missing a good hook or chorus to really sell the whole thing. Tracy Chapman knows what I mean. That said, there isn't a bad track on this album.
And the Steely Dan similarities can't be wrong. Steely Madam? Steely Damsel?
Barry Adamson
2/5
"Jack of all trades; Master of none" feels apt here, not least because the album starts with this freak jacking it like an animal.
Pick a fuckin lane Barry, jesus christ.
A Tribe Called Quest
5/5
This has been a gem and a pleasure. My faves are the flowless, purposefully mid raps about losing wallets and shi.
One of the besr hiphop albums of it's era, easy.
Julian Cope
2/5
Here it is officer. Here's the fucker that's bringing down the brit average. Nick him lads.
I'll quote my ex-wife. Too vapid, too British, and so long it almost hurts. Glad to see it gone.
B.B. King
4/5
What an absolute class act.
"Don't beat yer woman" he says, then proceeds to pummel every woman in the club senseless with his whisky voice.
"I like to play a little" he mutters, as he begins to shred the everloving fuck out of the guitar.
Maybe the best blues album I'll ever hear, and there's nothing in particular about it that's special, except for the King of course.
Yes
5/5
The only words you need to review a Yes album are "Yes", "more" and "please".
John Lee Hooker
3/5
First off, you should be tried at the highest court for putting Santana on your opener and letting us think the rest of the album would follow the same quality. Despicable.
Second, all the best blues was written 40 years before this album, and some of it was by this very guy. The Healer doesn't bring anything especially exciting to the table. It's just fine.
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
4/5
Zero replayability here - I can't replay the thing if I can't even make it through one full listen. What kind of band releases a 42 track album? That's heathen activity, downright despicable.
The worst part though? I didn't hate it. They're giving it their all here. This is real Country, God's Country, just the way baby Jesus wanted.
Maybe I'm in a good mood, or maybe it's just Thanksgiving. These Honkies can tonk.