1001 Albums Summary

Stop right there! I've got to know right now if you'll love me forever? Nope, baby, baby, don't need to sleep on it ... I love certain tracks on this record until the end of time. "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" is at the top of that list, along with "Bat Out of Hell." It's too bad we lost The Loaf to COVID. He was certainly an odd rock hero whose music has endured and who was great in "Fight Club" as the guy with breast cancer who coddled Edward Norton between his man boobs. My favorite all-time story of The Loaf was the girl who wrote about him being her softball coach growing up. Just a regular guy who loved hot dogs, baseball, fast cars, frilly shirts and operatic rock.

Some of these songs are good for 30 seconds. For three minutes, they’re terrible.

This is for the homies that was down from Day 1. Top 5 hip-hop record. This album snatched my ass from the backside when I was 12 years old … and showed me how Death Row pulled off that hoop ride

“Fuck Me Pumps” is dope and Amy’s voice oozes soul but this album is just OK. Thank God we got “Back in Black.” Such a tragedy that we lost such a talent. Shame on all of us.

I’ve just never been that into this album

I like tea with Cat.

How did I never hear this record? Oh, right, I went to college in Nowheresville, Iowa. I almost didn’t believe these guys are from Dublin. They sound like a bunch of crunchy, wake-and-bake surf rats from Carlsbad. Whatever. This album is great.

Fell on Black Days is the perfect January song. Exactly how I feel when the world is gray, the days are short ... and you just want to crawl into bed. And, really, is there a better rock shriek than Chris Cornell's? No. This is Soundgarden's best album.

What was I doing senior year of high school that I missed this album? Hot shit. Is Josh Homme secretly Julian Casablancas’ father? Is that a dude or a chick on the album cover? Are there really only two dudes playing on this album? Were there really queens in the Stone Age? Did Car Seat Headrest just blatantly rip these guys off?

If you told me this album was recorded in 1996 or 1976 or 2016 I wouldn’t disagree. Guy with guitar sings some overwrought songs about social issues and girls. Probably worked on these songs by singing them in coffee houses and pubs and on the street. I like some of these songs, but a lot of them are forgettable. Maybe they would’ve meant more to me if I was born 20 years earlier and was in my 20s in 1986. But, man, I was way more into the movie RAD and hair metal back then.

Fred Neil … a guy with two first names … was this what folk singers did in the 60s? Me, I’ll stick with Bob Dylan.

Hot damn! I said I preferred Bob Dylan — a guy with two first names — to snoozy Fred Neil, and what does this generator serve me up out of 1001 albums? Mr. Robert Zimmerman himself, in all of his electric glory, plugging in and flipping a big double bird to the coffeehouse purists who just wanted him to strum out protest songs on his acoustic guitar. The raw energy of these songs still grabs me by the throat. "Subterranean Homesick Blues," "Maggie's Farm," "Outlaw Blues" ... and “Mr. Tambourine Man” … just to flex. Yeah, there's only one Bob, and Bob is a God. Maybe not The God, but certainly on a higher order than us simple humans.

J Beez on the promo … this “classic” just isn’t as classic to me as other Native Tongues albums released in 1989/90 … like “3 Feet High and Rising” … or “People’s Instinctive Travels …”

Meh.

Love this record, but I can’t listen to it because some steakface said some stupid-ass shit on his podcast and Spotify chose money and alternative facts over virtue and truth and we are all the worse for it.

John Fogerty wasn’t born on the bayou, but I didn’t know that as a kid. I just liked CCR’s music, especially when it soundtracked Scooby-Doo chase scenes. I always assumed Fogerty and CCR were from Louisiana or the South, given “Proud Mary” and “Born on the Bayou.” Turns out, you just need a vivid imagination to write great songs. And as The Dude knows, I hate the fucking Eagles, man.

The bass really drives this whole album. "Damaged Goods" is a staple on my punk and 70s playlists ... although I'm not really sure what "Post Punk" means. All these classifications for what something is. But there's no doubt this is quality "entertainment" ... whatever you want to call it.

Skunk is right. I'm pretty sure this is what they used for music torture at Abu Ghraib. I can smell this shit through my headphones. Completely unlistenable.

Billy Joel, I love you just the way you are.

Never been a fan of Jane’s Addiction, or Perry Farrell. That’s nothing shocking.

I missed this album back in the day. I guess I didn’t miss much.

R.E.M. just churned out classic albums. Which one is the best is certainly up for debate, but this one is right there. "Orange Crush," "Stand," "Pop Song 89" ... what more do you want?

Who doesn’t love an album that opens with a song about morning sex? As the son of a preacher man, I wholly approve.

The genius of Zep, as I’ve learned from going all the way down YouTube rabbit holes, derives from Bonzo's drumming, even though Jimmy Page's guitar playing is otherworldly. Instead of Bonzo locking into rhythms with John Paul Jones on bass, he “gets in” with Page ... which is evident in rockers like "Black Dog," "Rock and Roll,” "Misty Mountain Hop" and "When the Levee Breaks." Instead of basic 4-4 drum beats, Zep’s classics are advanced math formulas … with Bonzo’s elaborate stick work propelling the songs into uncharted sonic waters. Without Bonzo, Zep is just another Blues-based English rock band with an excellent guitarist and a charismatic singer. Hammer of the Gods? Indeed.

Jazz hands!

Is "Gimme Shelter" the greatest rock song of all time? It's up there for me ... with "Smells Like Teen Spirt," "Welcome to the Jungle," and "Stairway to Heaven." I've also always wondered about this album cover too ... is it a film canister covered by a clock, a pizza, a bike tire and then a cake? More rock trivia ... Who was the stiff in the coffin in "The Big Chill" at the funeral where "You Can't Always Get What You Want" was used so deftly? If you can answer, you can have a piece of bike tire cake. But I call the piece with Keith Richards!

This album ... it's one of three that define my misspent youth. "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" might as well be "The Miseducation" of any 90s kid like myself whose high school soundtrack was the Fugees, The Pharsyde, Wu-Tang Clan, Dr. Dre, Snoop Doggy Dogg (before he dropped the Doggy), De La Soul, A Tribe Called Quest, 2Pac, Biggie, Outkast, Naughty By Nature, Warren G. and Nate Dogg, Souls of Mischief, the Beastie Boys, and on ... and on ... and on. There's a reason they call it the Golden Age of rap. Us 90s kids, we lived through the late 60s and early 70s of rock when it comes to hip-hop. And that doesn't even include the early-90s grunge shit. Please tell me there's a more important era in modern pop music. I'll fight you. The universe, for whatever reason, aligned to create so much incredible art that we're still trying to make sense of it all. That this album is 25 years old, shit ... it doesn't feel that old. Lauryn Hill is in the same class as Tracy Chapman. I show my kids videos of her on YouTube in her prime ... just like Tracy. The power of those voices is spine tingling. It's not the same as when I saw her this year on tour ... not even close to seeing her twice on the original "Miseducation" tour when Outkast opened at Mammoth or The Roots opened at Fiddler's ... but goddamn, Lauryn Hill, thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for soundtracking every meaningful moment of my teenage years. Shit, thank you for "Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit." You are the X Factor ... not the Ex-Factor ... and I will remain true to you forever.

Nick Drake always sounds like he's singing out of a snorkel at the bottom of the Mariana Trench.

Boston is one of those weird bands where one guy is sorta the whole band, even though people associate bands with the lead singer — who in this case is just really a guy who can carry a tune better than the MIT nerd who wrote all the music and created all the tracks in his basement. Man, this stuff is slicker than cat shit on linoleum. There’s no real nutritional value … it’s basically the Hostess Twinkie of 70s anthem rock — just designed for mass consumption in some factory (in Boston) and then shipped out to fatten up a bunch of American teens. It’s a formula that’s been streamlined and repeated over and over. That doesn’t mean that Twinkies don’t taste good …

No thanks, I’ll take DJ Premier

"The Message" has aged well. Just an all-time classic beat and the hook, "Don't push me cuz I'm close to the edge/I'm trying not to lose my head" is as relevant in 2023 as it was during the Reagan 80s. But the rest of this album, outside of some decent break beats, is a bad early-80s nostalgia trip.

What’s with all the Welsh bands? Is this a Welsh list? This shit is terrible.

This is basically the soundtrack to every high school highlight tape from the early 80s up until infinity. If you have an old VHS tape gathering dust of Eureka High Football 1994, I sure as shit guarantee there is some “Hells Bells” and “Back in Black” on there. Just a certified hard-on for anyone who ever ran out of a locker room ready to knock the living crap out of your cross-town rival. For all the mumblecore rap and diluted rock they play for tunnel buildups and pregame hype nowadays, this is the raw dope — the Heisenberg snort that just hits harder than anything you’ve ever sniffed.

Nope.

A lot of people don't like leftovers, but Nina Simone leftovers are incredible.

This all sounds like the same song to me.

Elvis with so much flavor. Could listen to it all day, every day. Long live the King!

Caught her on this tour at Red Rocks. If she stopped recording tomorrow, this would be her signature record. Not a single track worth skipping. Just a classic record … from an old soul, waiting her turn … but she’s still got a lot to learn.

Fuck no.

“Jazz hands”

I die harder than Bruce Willis!

Great sideburns … and harmonies.

There's a reason Al Green became the Rev. Al Green: His voice was anointed by God.

The Cure is so weird. And that’s why I love it. The Weeknd only wishes he was this strange

Fucking hipsters.

Some people called this album “Flookie” … but Green Day has certainly proven them all wrong. When I was a kid, and I first heard “Longview,” thought these guys were British. Anyway, Billie Joe Armstrong, Tre Cool and Mike Dirnt certainly turned me onto other British bands, especially The Clash. This album is timeless. Transports me right back to when I bought it at Rocky Mountain Records along with “ill Communication.” I love “When I Come Around” the most, but all these songs are great.

I didn’t buy this album in 1994 and I never have been that into it. I understand why it’s important, but just not my jam.

Not on Spotify

Way better when covered by Kurt Cobain.

Dusty Springfield has the Amy Winehouse effect. Or maybe it's the Dusty Springfield effect, with Winehouse being a modern iteration of the same thing. That thing? If you didn't have a photo to go with the voice, you might be guilty of thinking the person singing was of a different complexion. Can I get a witness, here?

Nope

Someday I’m gonna smack your face! OK, but can you buy me dinner first?

This sounds like bad karaoke.

The only thing more amazing than Billy Corgan playing all the instruments on this album is that he slept with Jessica Simpson … and dumped her.

Not Marvin’s best work, and understandably so.

"There's no doubt we were doing a lot of drugs by then, but whatever we were doing, it was still working for us." — Joe Perry on the making of "Rocks" ...

"(I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone” is OK. Definitely one of my mom’s favorites.

The top "gay album" of all time? David Bowie, Madge, Moz and The Smiths, The Indigo Girls, George Michael and Sir Elton might like a word … but what do I know? “Tits on the Radio” is the tits, though.

Conflict, greed, time, death, mental illness ... and one great album cover.

Holy shitballs, we used to listen to this at night while putting out The Aspen Times. Just the weirdest shit ever. Industrial rock designed to torture the eardrums. Dan Thomas, Mark VonderHaar, Jon "Sticky Buns" Maletz, where you at?

Now I know where Kanye got that sample.

Way more into the singing than the screaming.

Geese farts on a muggy day.

Man, totally forgot about this album.

Just a bunch of Beatles wannabes. People defend this album

This is the end … of me listening to Jim Morrison

Old Blue Eyes … and Charlie Brown movies … I don’t really see the difference. They make you feel wistful. They go great with eggnog. “With no mammy and no pappy … I’m so unhappy … but I’m so glad.” OK, Frank.

Graduate leftovers are the best kind of leftovers.

How did Curtis Mayfield sing only in falsetto? That shit ain’t easy. And, why do so many great soul artists meet such unfortunate fates?

Spoke too soon ... another Doors album. As previously mentioned, just not a huge fan of the Lizard King ... but I can get down with "L.A. Woman." Great tune.

Twangy.

Great album. Thank God they never made this movie. Sounds like the worst screenplay ever. But if it inspired Neil to write these songs, Amen.

I hate the fucking Eagles, man.

Has there ever been a better lyric than: "There's a hole in daddy's arm where all the money goes/ Jesus Christ died for nothin' I suppose" ... um, no. John Prine is an American treasure. What a tragedy that we lost him to COVID.

Life in the suburbs is bleak. This whole thing kinda runs together for me ... no real song that I particularly care about more on the record. Maybe I just need to listen to it more. Was never a huge Arcade Fire fan, as in dying to go see them live (I've heard they're good), but I do enjoy their records ... especially the synth stuff. Feels like the Less than Zero 80s or something ... a soundtrack for a Brett Easton Ellis movie.

Of all the bands that see themselves in "This is Spinal Tap," Deep Purple might be the closest resemblance. Remember, as a kid, when you would mix all the drinks in the soda machine? That's what this album feels like. "Speed Queen" feels like The Doors on meth blended with some Zeppelin while "Into the Fire" is just a straight ripoff of Sabbath and "Iron Man." The only thing missing is some Jethro Tull jazz flute. Just way too much screaming, too many bloated solos, turned all the way up to 11. Mix it all together, and you just get a lot of flavored sugar water that tastes like shit.

The amazing thing about this album is its propulsion. At 12 songs clocking in at an hour and 5 minutes, it feels extremely tight. There aren't any wasted notes or words. Each drumbeat and chord, every lyric, is pulling you forward. And yet, this is an epic album. So much ground is covered from the opening riff of "American Idiot" through "Governator." There are some three-hour movies that don't feel long and there are 90-minute ones that are a slog. I love "Dookie" and other Green Day tracks, but this is their seminal accomplishment — a transcendent album that deftly summarized America under Bush for those of us who were't part of a redneck agenda.

Hipsters unite! A band named after a steam-powered dildo from the quintessential hipster book ... Steely Dan is basically the 70s' version of LCD Soundsystem. It's a band that all the cool people are into. It's a name-drop in some bar conversation. People who have cassette tape collections and teeny weenie beanies and drink ethically-sourced $8 espressos fucking love Steely Dan. Doesn't mean I don't like them, too.

That this whole album was recorded in just three days is absurd.

Who doesn’t love a great comeback story? Being broke and newly sober will bring you some clarity, that’s for sure. Just listen to the title track: “When did the choices get so hard With so much more at stake? Life gets mighty precious When there's less of it to waste Mm, mm Scared you'll run out of time” Yeah, Bonnie got her shit together and made a great record … So many great songs that haven’t aged one bit.

Charlie don't surf, but Dennis sure did. This album has the same kind of vibe as George Harrison's "All Things Must Pass" — just an explosion of music from the guy who played third and fourth fiddle to the other famous members in his band, in Dennis' case, his two brothers, and his cousin, Mike Love.

Who would not want to hear Johnny Cash singing karaoke?

I don’t think I knew anybody back in grade school who actually had the real cassette tape of this album that was sold in stores. Someone got it from somebody somewhere, but really, it was just an endless stream of bootleg tapes that circulated … something you never wanted your mom to find and that you only listened to on your headphones … or with the volume turned down real low on your boombox at night. “Straight Outta Compton” was basically the same thing as some XXX tape that got passed around. It was raw and hardcore. And, man, the first time you heard it, Damn that shit was dope.

This ... is ... crap.

Boomer rock.

We want the funk!

Non on Spotify.

I like one Pixies song, and it's on this album.

One of the weirdest hip-hop shows I ever saw, outside of Busta Rhymes playing St. Olaf College's gym, was Jurassic 5 playing Ford Amphitheater in Vail for the Teva Mountain Games like in 2004. This was after I missed J5 play my alma mater, Luther, during my junior year because I was studying abroad in Paris. Whoever booked that Vail show should've gotten all the medals handed out at that year's Mountain Games ... while "What's Golden" played as an anthem in the background. This is definitely the high-water mark for these guys. "What's Golden" is a certified hip-hop classic, but I especially love "Thin Line" and "Remember His Name." Just some out-of-the-ordinary hip-hop, which is why J5 gets labeled "alternative." Whatever it is, it's dope. And I'm glad I eventually got to interview Chali 2na when he toured behind his solid debut solo record. They just don't make hip-hop like they used to.

Some catchy song titles for some standard issue grunge.

35 minutes of punk perfection.

Just a bunch of noise.

I feel the same way about Mondays ... every other day is fine. But Mondays blow.

Eh.

Yeah, no

Nyet

More shock than awe.

This list of 1001 albums is very British. This album isn’t bad, but if I died before hearing it, I’d be OK with it.

Beck is an alien. How else do you explain going from “Sea Change” to this. He’s, as Chuck Klosterman likes to say, “advanced.” It’s hard to say what the quintessential Beck album is … because each one is so different. This one is closer to “Odelay” than “Sea Change” but it’s its own unique organism.

I used to love playing "Take Me Out" on the old Wii "Guitar Hero" back in the day. So many great chord progressions.

This feels like a joke. Like a parody of Duran Duran or Flock of Seagulls. The keyboard is the quintessence of the 80s. All you need is a Roland 808, some bad drum beats, and you’re fully capable of turning out some terrible music. That anyone ever bought this album, joke’s on you, kid. Gloomy Sunday!

I actually prefer the “MTV Unplugged” renditions of these songs with the “Most Incredible Roots Band” backing up HOV. But this is the album that spawned those classics. Just peak Kanye as a producer and Jigga flexing … until Nas fired back with one of the greatest diss tracks ever.

Jerry Lee Lewis, accompanied by the Nashville Teens ... are we talking about his backing band or his 13-year-old cousin who he married?

Post-hardcore? Sounds like sexual frustration.

The "genius" label gets thrown around too often, but there's no other way to accurately describe Stevie Wonder and his body of work in the 70s.

Man, missed this, and sorry that I did. Just some great grooves all the way through.

"Artists Only" is so weird and great, but "Take Me to the River" makes me think of those dumb JibJab videos from the early 2000s about those dumb singing trout on the wall.

"And, yes, ladies, I'm really being sincere, 'cause in a 69, my Humpty nose will tickle your rear!" The Humpty Dance is infinitely better than the Ed Lover Dance or the Running Man, the Cabbage Patch, the Worm, the Tootsie Roll or any other corny dance from the '90s. When I was a kid, I really thought Humpty Hump and Shock G were too different people. The '90s was a great time for alter egos ... Humpty Hump (Shock G), Lil' Penny (Penny Hardaway), Slim Shady (Eminem), Makaveli (2Pac), The Diceman (Andrew Dice Clay) and my main man Pee-Wee Herman. Maybe the greatest story I've heard in a while is that John Singleton worked security for "The Pee-wee Herman Show" and got Cowboy Curtis (Laurence Fishburne) and Pee-Wee (Paul Reubens) to read his script for "Boyz N The Hood." Crazy story. Anyway, the title of this album has a sneaky double meaning ... and Shock G was a great producer.

Fantastic album cover for some utterly shitty songs featuring earworm beats and antiquated digitized voices. Amazingly, humans created techno. I'm sure ChatGPT could do better at this point. It's over — nobody listens to techno!

"Do you like apples? Well, I gotta number. How do you like them apples?" I came to Elliott Smith like most people — through "Good Will Hunting." Anybody who tells you they were onto the guy before "Between the Bars," "Angeles" and "Say Yes" — as well as "Miss Misery" — soundtracked a defining movie for Gen Xers and millennials, well, they're probably lying. Can you imagine "Good Will Hunting" without these songs? They're as important to the movie as Robin Williams' soliloquy on that park bench. "Needle in the Hay" in "The Royal Tenenbaums" is, in my opinion, one of the best uses of original music in film ever realized. That it foreshadowed Mr. Misery's own mysterious death is, well, disturbing, but maybe not surprising.

More music to terrify suburban white parents in the 90s.

Obviously, Bjork was destined for bigger things.

Marvin’s version of “Get It On” is better.

“With no mammy and no pappy … I’m so unhappy … but I’m so glad.” OK, Billie.

The start of Jack's Blue phase. I like the Red era better, but this is still a solid record.

Incoherent rambling, too much violin … and obviously too much whisky. I wouldn’t pay the cover to see these mopes in a pub.

Somehow I never saw Tribe live. One of the great regrets of my life. Did see Phife Dawg solo. Anyway, this album is endlessly listenable. Yes, Bonita Applebaum, you gotta put me on.

Chill and melodic. Would be even more chill without the German, but whatever. The weirder, the better. What's also weird is how some white dudes from Germany who created their instruments and sounds spawned some classic hip-hop by young black men who were doing the same thing over in Americ, and used Kraftwerk samples to create a new sound that has become the dominant force in global music.

Just sounds like so many other things from this era, but none of it is memorable.

The worst album that Marvin Gaye ever created, and the one that would absolutely destroy his career. At, least, according to Motown boss Berry Gordy, who, for all his genius, just didn’t get it … until “What’s Going On” snuck onto radio and the rest is history. Is this the greatest album of all-time? That really depends on who you ask, but personally, this album resonates more with me than “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band,” which is what had been No. 1 on Rolling Stone’s list of the greatest albums. That is, until younger, more diverse voters were added to the pool and elevated this classic to the top. “Sgt. Pepper's” is fantastic, revolutionary, visionary, all of that and more ... but it just doesn't have the same cultural cachet. This album is the touchstone for pretty much anything. It spans time and space ... and is as relevant today as it was when Marvin Gaye was facing pressure from Gordy to stick to love songs. It is timeless and yet urgent, and deserves its reverence.

The perfect soundtrack for falling asleep in an MRI tube or filling out a questionnaire at the doctors office.

All about that bass.

Somehow this album reminds me of the flu. Weird, I know, but I got sick the day I bought it at a record shop on the Pearl Street Mall. Another weird thing: this album came out on my 11th birthday. Anyway, I loved Pearl Jam’s next two albums more than this one, which might be sacrilegious to hardcore fans, but the song I love most from this era was the one left off the album: Yellow Ledbetter. Either way, I fucking love Mookie Blaylock, even if there never was a psychedelic jam made by Aunt Pearl.

How many babies were born as a result of this album?

Not on Spotify, thank God.

Can dig some of the horns here and the soul influences, but honestly, just give me The Clash.

Some classic rock staples here. Just never been that into Santana — or noodling in general.

Elvis Costello is prolific, but so much of it just runs together for me. Also, don't love the nasal voice.

"Honaloochie Boogie" is one of my all-time favorite jams. Also, who doesn't love burnt orange leather pants?

Are those prostitutes on the cover? Is "Dirty Work" really a song about working girls? Or is it a song about a replacement vibrator sung by a band named after a vibrator? Either way, I love "Dirty Work" "Reelin' in the Years" and "Midnight Cruiser."

A classic that was on a constant loop for me in my early 20s, but now it’s hard for me to listen to these songs. Did we cancel ‘Ye or did he cancel himself? That’s always worth asking in these debates over cancel culture. If he’s still deserving of your attention, by all means, rock that “School Spirit.” But he’s lost mine.

Not on Spotify.

I can dig some of these tracks, including "Jumpin' Jack Flash." This whole album would definitely be better on acid.

No clue what this guy is singing about, but man is this shit funky.

Mid-90s Radiohead called, seeking royalties.

Forgot that Drake was on a track on this album. Guess things went awry from there.

Only one song you care about on this album. Trust me.

What you get when you cross Talking Heads with Duran Duran and throw in some horns and sax?

Supergroup, my ass.

Perfect from start to finish, and one of the best albums of the 80s. Definitely worth throwing into a boombox and playing it outside of the window of the girl you just can't quit — even if her father disapproves.

I like Jefferson Starship and all of the terribly awesome 80s radio hits more than Jefferson Airplane. There, I said it. Fight me.

I was listening to Dre, Pac, Bone and LL Cool J in 1996, not this crap.

Yep, never learned country ways.

Willing to bet that you put this on anywhere in the world and people would start grooving. Bob remains everlasting and universally amazing.

Trying way too hard.

Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks? Shaft! You damn right.

Warning: Large amounts of cocaine were used in the production of this album.

Elevator music.

Yes, Mick and Keef, I can hear you knocking …

Hard pass

What is it with Norwegians loving thrash metal? Sounds like the soundtrack at a white supremacist rally.

Nobody did '90s collabs better than Mariah. "Honey" is a classic jam and the other hip-hop collabs on here are weird, cool, fun ... whatever. But certainly, a formula that got replicated over and over — resulting in some amazing music and some utterly terrible music (looking at you, Ja Rule)

Not available on Spotify.

People are screaming! Someone is really pissed off! Aaaaaaahhhhhhh ....

Some real funky bass lines here. Other than that, fucking terrible.

Jazz just isn't my jam.

If you're into ass rock, this album's for you. Just look at the album cover.

Starting to realize this list of 1001 albums is the reflection of some Oasis Superfan who likes shitty Brit-pop.

Hey, why don’t you queue up another shitty British electronic album that no one listened to when it was released and deserves to be shot into space and lost for eternity. This dreck, just like this list, is garbage.

The Dude : Do you find them much, these, stolen cars? Younger Cop : Sometimes. Wouldn't hold out much hope for the tape deck though. Older Cop : Or the Creedence.

Knew "Diamond" Dave wasn't talented enough to write "Just a Gigalo" himself.

You know what's a bad acid trip? Dropping LSD and then looking at this album cover. George's eyes always freak me out.

Methheads perform carnival music.

Generic Smiths. Enough with the English wanker music.

Sad trombone.

Barf.

I had a friend who was obsessed with Zappa. He’d smoke a shit ton of pot while putting out the paper at night and crank Frank. I enjoy some of the melodies here, but I’m not stoned all the time, which is why most of this sounds like just a bunch of noise.

A lot of people are really into Pavement. I'm not one of them. Just sounds like the bastard child of Sonic Youth and the Pixies.

If you don’t like this music, something is wrong with you.

Willie in his heyday.

This album is a gem. Billy Bragg and Wilco — and Natalie Merchant! — interpreting Woody Guthrie lyrics. Genius.

Whiskey dick has been a problem for decades.

Ooh, baby, I like it raw, but outside of “Buffalo Stance,” this whole album is pretty whack.

I've always been on Team Paul. John Lennon hit women.

Ain’t nobody get outta here without singing the blues.

Trumpet sounds! TRUMPET SOUNDS!

All these years later, "Kill You" and "Kim" are just too dark for me to listen to, but the rest is straight fire. "Bitch Please II" is one of my all-time go-tos for getting amped.

The Little Rascals > The Young Rascals

It's tough to beat "Sweet Emotion" for cruising around and doing nothing with the radio up. It's perfect for "Dazed and Confused." I prefer the version of "Walk This Way" with Run DMC, but who cares?

An absolute classic.

If you’re into brushing out your chest hair, spray tans, teeth whitener and blowouts, this album is definitely for you.

British ska revival band ... just what I wanted to hear on my drive into work.

We’re running out tonight to case the promised land.

“Green Onions” has been in too many movies to count, but my favorite is “The Sandlot” when the country club kids roll up on the crew at the Sandlot. Ham Porter: Hey, Is that your sister out there in left field, naked? She's naked?

Great album, seriously twisted dude.

I’m young but I’m underpaid.

Old school? Some of these tracks never get old.

Meh

Muddy is indeed your Hoochie Coochie Man, ladies.

I’ll stick with Mos and Talib.

This sounds like what happens when my kids used to go into my brother's studio and mess around on the keyboards. Unlistenable.

“The album was recorded in a style which drew on the club culture and house music of the time, but also incorporates the group's characteristic love of 1960s pop, with tracks also bridged by samples from films or by short songs.” Sounds terrible. Is terrible.

Shake for me, girl. I wanna be your backdoor man.

"Debaser" and "Here Comes Your Man" are great. The rest of this is just a bunch of noise.

Here's a prophecy about The Prodigy: 30 years after this album was released, I'll rate it as terrible on this list.

Rare to find albums in this era that are no-skip from start to finish. Just a modern masterpiece that gets better with every listen. My favorite is "Go Gina."

Suck on my chocolate salty balls! Put em in your mouth and suck em! Oh, wait, I guess that’s not on this album.

Great band name. OK album.

Ready to run through a wall after listening to this. If you ever need an endorphin kick, just put this on and crank it.

Some of this is bloated and unfocused — the result, obviously, of all the substances — but those criticisms are minor nits to the true genius of Jimi and the music that just poured out of him. Just an utter tragedy that this is the last album we got from him.

"Runnin' With the Devil" is one of my all-time favorite books about the circus life of rock superstardom. My favorite story was Eddie Van Halen sweating about a paternity test from some groupie ahead of his wedding to Valerie Bertinelli: He didn't realize it was impossible for someone to get pregnant who'd only given him a blowjob. Man, Ed was a goddamn guitar prodigy, but he obviously didn't pay attention in middle school sex ed.

"Friend of the Devil," "Ripple," "Truckin'" — yeah, for the non-Dead, this is the Dead album that you care about.

Yeah, Luke Combs’ cover of “Fast Car” is great … but it’s only a reminder of how urgent and transcendent the original was and is … from a 23-year-old college grad who’d been playing open mics and college radio in Boston. My dad had three tapes in his car when I was a kid: this album, Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA” and U2’s “Joshua Tree.” They are all desert island albums, something you could live on for the rest of your life.

Not bad, not great either. Man, Freddie can sing, but the rest of this feels like early Genesis or Rush.

Man, the 80s were weird.

Not interested in anything on the menu.

The last Kanye record I cared about, and the one I care the least about. Although the James Franco-Seth Rogan parody of “Bound 2” is fantastic.

How many of these songs have become soundtracks to commercials? My favorite is “Lovely Rita,” which is what Conan‘s band played for Tom Hanks when he came on during Conan’s last night hosting the Tonight Show. Cheeky pick that cost NBC a bundle.

I know people love this guy, but this just sounds like bad karaoke to me. Cheesy ass keyboard music …

The soundtrack for teenage boys driving around in their cars doing jackshit in the '90s. This was the filthiest, most offensive, obscene, vulgar, masochistic, sexist, deranged thing anyone ever laid ears on when it dropped back in 1999, which is why middle schoolers, high schoolers and college bros couldn't get enough of it. Dre has certainly perfected this formula before, starting with N.W.A and then to Snoop before unleashing Eminem on the world. Looking back now, a lot of these lyrics haven't aged well — but Eminem has. The talent is undeniable. And I don't care what anyone says, "My Fault" — better known as the mushroom song — is still hilarious.

Blue-eyed soul from the White Duke. Some of this feels overwrought, but some of it is really interesting.

My only complaint is how monolithic this whole thing sounds. It's just 11 bricks that came out of the same block of stone.

The only thing better than this classic? Seeing Nasty Nas perform it live with the Colorado Symphony Orchestra at Red Rocks.

Poetry inspired by "Stranger Things" ... or something.

just like slipping into a well-loved, old sweatshirt.

What Thomas Pynchon had to be listening to when he wrote "Inherent Vice."

If only I could've been alive in this era to see this Bob. I've seen him live twice and the versions of these songs are almost unrecognizable. And his voice is nothing but a harsh croak at this point. God said, "Where do you want this killin' done?" Out on Highway 61.

"Gimme some White Light, White Heat! Iggy Pop!" Yeah, I think it would have been cool to see Iggy and the Stooges live back in the 70s. But this really just sounds like early garage demo tapes of Nirvana or something.

One of my all-time favorite internet things is the recut trailer of "The Shining" as a family-friendly drama called "Shining" which perfectly employs "Solsbury Hill." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmkVWuP_sO0

True story: Went and saw Radiohead at Red Rocks on this tour with my little brother and we locked the keys in his mint green Geo Prizm ... so we called my dad in Boulder and told him to drive to Red Rocks during the show, find "Minty" in a sea of cars, and break in to get the keys out, which he did. Talk about a great dad. The show was pretty epic, too.

Not completely terrible

This is why they created auto tune.

Just an endless groove. Great roadtrip music.

Tanning beds explode with rich women inside …

You in the back with those French braids. What do you want to be when you grow up?

I love people doing impressions of Britney Spears ... like Ariana Grande or Emma Stone. That shit is funny, just like some of the production on this album.

What would have ever become of Nirvana if Kurt Cobain hadn't committed suicide? Would they still tour like Pearl Jam? Would Kurt have cut an album with Timbaland like Chris Cornell? Would there be no Foo Fighters? The whole thing is just too sad to reckon with, even all these years later. I do remember how often MTV ran that "Unplugged" show in the weeks after his death. I just wish there was more music, but this album ... it absolutely rocked my world when I was an 11-year-old kid.

It's obvious why "Ted" Theodore Logan and Bill S. Preston, Esq., loved Iron Maiden.

Miserable music for miserable people.

Schleep? This is the stuff of nightmares.

Dolly is a goddamn American Treasure.

Did I just imagine that Creedence use to soundtrack Scooby-Doo chase scenes? Or did that really happen in the 80s? Memory is weird. Creedence is still awesome.

What. In. The. Hell.

Beep boop beep boop

A great album, and yet not my favorite Roots album. Feel like this is the album where the Most Incrediy finally stopped being slept on, likely driven by the success of “The Seed 2.0” … which was great, since The Roots demand to be heard. But for those of us who were early converts to “Do You Want More!?” and “Illadelph Halflife” and the greatest Roots record ever made, “Things Fall Apart,” the buzz just felt inadequate. I’ve always loved “Quills” … a great Roots track. And I have never, ever seen a bad Roots show, starting when I first saw them in 1996 at Red Rocks on the inaugural Smoking Grooves tour … up until last summer when I caught them at Mission Ballroom.

This album is pretty great from start to finish. Just a hit parade of corny MTV videos back in the early 80s. My favorite licks on here are "Got Me Under Pressure." Every time I hear ZZ Top, I always wonder why they were in "Back to the Future III" ... or, for that matter, why they made "Back to the Future III" in the first place. What a time to be alive.

The White Stripes evolve, but still keep it in the garage.

Some swell guitar picking and singing.

“Band on the Run” is like “Layla” for me … a song of songs. Each one is incredible. Also love “Let Me Roll It” which was used perfectly in “Licorice Pizza.”

If S.F. Sorrow had a baby with the Beatles, it would be Oasis.

This sounds like stage music for old Super Nintendo games with a terrible karaoke track over it.

The first song has a progression that sounds like it’s ripped straight from “Polly.” This sounds like if you asked AI for a song that meshes Nirvana with, I don’t know, Bush, you’d get this dreck.

Getting Jiggy with it!!

I think of Talking Heads as an 80s band, and this is definitely an 80s album ... just a little ahead of the curve. David Byrne even says as much: "This ain't no party, this ain't no disco. This ain't no fooling around No time for dancing, or lovey-dovey. I ain't got time for that now."

Commodified love songs, all under 3 minutes, and made to order for mass consumption by hysterical Beatlemaniacs. These guys created the formula for modern pop music.

Hold me closer, Tony Danza! It’s amazing to me that “Tiny Dancer” wasn’t a huge hit upon its release and that it took a perfectly written scene in “Almost Famous” for it to be rediscovered and universally beloved. Sir Elton owes a debt to Cameron Crowe. I was definitely born in the wrong generation.

The only Nick Drake album I like

Not on Spotify

Don’t love the early stuff as much as the later stuff, but “Love Me Do” is one of my favorites.

I’ve always wanted to go to the forbidden island. So much culture and history. This album is just one small taste of it.

For an 80s kid, this feels like slipping into an old familiar sweatshirt ... preferably with D.A.R.E on the front. One of my favorite Onion headlines of all time is: Stoners Declare Victory in the War on Drugs. Yes, the good guys won, and this album is perfect for driving fast on the highway or ripping down the slope on your shred stick on a bluebird day ... with nowhere to go and nowhere to be ...

I never orbited Planet Dust. More like Planet Crap. Only brainless drones listen to this crap.

Some of these songs are great, but what's with all the corny sound effects? No wonder the Duffer Brothers wanted "Running Up That Hill" for "Stranger Things" ... they probably listened to a lot of "Waking the Witch" while writing the show.

There's nothing fun or anything to love about these so-called criminals. This has not aged well.

"Superstition" is the greatest wedding band jam of all time.

I love symphony orchestra pairings, and this doesn’t disappoint.

This album is great. Solange slapping the shit out of Jay-Z in that elevator is even better.

More Simon, Less Garfunkel.

Most of these songs are good. Just depends on who sings them.

I always wanted to be a part of the Rhythm Nation. I think it's pretty cool that Michael Jackson and Prince were supposed rivals — exaggerated or not, depending on whose stories you believe about ping-pong games and Prince ducking out on "We Are The World" — but that Michael's sister and dudes from Prince's band created some of the greatest pop songs ever made. That's the kind of utopia I imagine in Rhythm Nation. There are just so many hits on this album. This is an amazing statistic: It is the only album in the history of the US Billboard Hot 100 singles chart to have seven commercial singles peak within the top five positions. It is also the first album to produce No. 1 hits on the chart in three separate calendar years, beginning with "Miss You Much" in 1989, "Escapade" and "Black Cat" in 1990, and culminating with "Love Will Never Do (Without You)" in 1991.

Great album cover for a bunch of racket. "Piece of My Heart" is an awesome karaoke track.

This is like a missing puzzle piece you find years later for a puzzle you’d already sold in a garage sale. Obviously influential to so many other bands who became a lot more famous than the Soft Boys.

¡batería! me duele el culo por todos los golpes!

Somehow missed the whole Riot grrrl thing. The vocals on a lot of these tracks are just a little too shrill for my taste but I love “Buy Her Candy” and “Things You Say” …

“Nightswimming” is just a nostalgic bath for me. I just love letting it wash over me. “Man on the Moon” is also so impossibly good. R.E.M. didn’t write bad songs or make bad records — they’re all great — but I think this is them at their very best. Just such a perfect album.

“Ultra-Stimulation”? More like a tranq dart to the fucking jugular. I’d rather have my finger nails pulled out than listen to this …

Every time I hear this record, I want to hop in the car and start hauling ass down the highway.

Pharrell’s Boner Jams ‘04.

Nerds of the world, unite!

I love some of these songs, but I don't need the whole meal.

Definitely weird and interesting.

This is it — the butthole of popular music over the last 70 years. What a perfect title. All of these songs belong in the crapper.

Do you think Stevie Wonder designs his own album covers?

“I've got a six pack and nothing to do! I got a six pack and I don't need you!” OK, Henry.

Pretty amazing to get this album after Black Flag. I think Black Flag playing Carpenters’ covers would be amazing … but the Carpenters playing their own songs? Excuse me while I take a nap

Utterly forgettable country songs. Belee Dat.

There’s a reason they called it the cocaine 80s. This whole album feels like one big snort. Like pop rocks in a can of Jolt … ready to boogie.

Only one decent song in this whole album, and I heard it so many times in the 90s that I never want to hear it again.

Yep, this garbage will give you a bellyache. But no thrills.

If I wanted to drown myself in the bathtub, I'd put this album on ... to keep me underwater.

"I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor" and "Red Light Indicates Doors Are Secured" all day, everyday.

Yeah, I'm not buying.

I don’t have any real deep thoughts on a synth-pop album that was supposedly critiquing the politics of the Iron Lady. Although you can certainly dance to this.

These are the definitive versions of these songs, in my opinion ... the covers (Bowie, the Meat Puppets, the Vaselines) and the originals. Like a lot of 90s kids, my parents didn't understand grunge. But they could grasp the musical genius of this album. This is the only Unplugged, as far as I can tell, too, that wasn't just a parade of the band's hits. "Come As You Are" was obviously a monster Nirvana track, but the fact that Kurt, Krist and Dave didn't do "Smells Like Teen Spirit" or "Heart-Shaped Box" is so quintessentially Nirvana. Also, who doesn't love some good accordion playing?

This sounds like the Doors doing verbose blues covers or the soundtrack to a new “Road House” sequel.

A guy who allegedly wears women’s underwear sing some covers. No thanks, Hot Rod!

I’m still not entirely sure that My Morning Jacket didn’t release a bunch of B sides under a pseudonym.

Not on Spotify

Yet again, just give me The Clash.

Yeah, this sounds like this cost about $10 to record. Another crappy 90s record I never needed to hear

5 songs, 43 minutes, one incredible album. I know “Wish You Were Here” is a great standalone trick, but this album demands to be listened to from front to back.

Got this album at my 14th birthday party. Think my friend Tom got it for me. Still shreds. "Self Esteem" is my favorite. Also, funny story. An old boss of mine, when writers would talk about combining posts — and losing the opportunity for the traffic that would come from two different headlines — would always say: "You gotta keep 'em separated."

"Cut Your Hair" ... yeah, OK. But I've never understood the hardcore devotion of Pavement fans. If you're a Pavement superfan, are you a Paver? Or an Ass-phalt?

In some parts of the world, you can get killed for singing the blues. Some great licks here.

Is this an inside joke? Like, let's put the worst sounds imaginable on a piece of vinyl, sell it as avant-garde rock, and see how many critics actually fall for this?

Nope.

All these songs about girls, was it all part of an elaborate long con?

The album that spawned the MAGA movement.

Love the originals, not a huge fan of the covers. 3+3=4

If you're into Renaissance festivals and shit, this might be your jam.

This is like lunch at Olive Garden: Super friggin' heavy.

Judging by the cover, it looks like Robert Smith of the Cure about to drop some acid. Instead, it's just some flaccid world music.

500 albums that are worth listening to … and a bunch of other British crap that you’d never care if you never heard it.

Meh

Feel like you’re right at the foot of the stage. Top-five album for me.

Weird

Love and only love will endure. Hate is everything you think it is.

Black excellence.

One good song, and it's way better remixed as a Nas beat.

Albums that you're supposed to love because so many people go on and on about their influence and cultural cachet ... or how important they were in their misspent youth. Whatever.

Not on Spotify

Cultural appropriation ... before the term was mainstream. Boomers love this album.

America's dads all agree: This album rocks.

Saw Moby as the headliner for the Area 1 tour in college ... and he sucked balls. Outkast ... as the warmup actually killed it. That's always how I've felt about this album. 90s kids loved it, but me, I was way more into classic hip-hop.

Every song a killer … 'Cause this is Thriller! I thought I knew every single thing about Michael Jackson, and this album, but was so pleased to watch the HBO “dockumentary” “Yacht Rock” and learn that Steve Porcaro gave him “Human Nature” to finish out the album. My favorite track, outside of “PYT”

The soundtrack to a Wes Anderson movie that never got made.

If Bill Callahan, the former coach of the Oakland Raiders and the Nebraska Cornhuskers, recorded an album, I’m pretty sure it would be better than this. Sometimes I wish this list didn’t exist.

Too bad Ryan Adams is such a creep.

I always assumed “The Drugs Don’t Work”was a Ben Harper original. Whatever. His version is better. This album sucks.

Pound for pound, the greatest hip-hop record ever made.

Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis, when I was dead broke, I couldn’t picture this. Just the tracks … forget the skits — and Puff.

I’ve cut farts that sound better than this.

You cannot hear Jimi!

Great music comes out of dark times. This album, just like Marvin Gaye's "What's Goin' On," is the soundtrack to a murky, confusing era in American history that Sly captured perfectly in a haze of hard drug use. A masterpiece.

The only things I know about Bjork that her voice is transcendent. She's in one of the hardest-to-watch films you've ever seen. And she went ballistic on some photographer at the Bangkok Airport when the woman got too close to her son. Definitely not uninteresting, like this album.

I'd rather look at real space rocks than listen to space rock. Can we just call it crap rock from some whiny Brits? Why does everything have to have a label?

The riff in "Telegraph Sam" sounds almost identical to "Bang a Gong (Get It On)" ... though I prefer the latter.

For the umpteenth time, this list is way too British.

This album is stuck in 1991. It can’t live anywhere else.

'70s Abba > '80s Abba

If Little Richard was in the rap game, he would've been Lil' Rich-X

Sounds like “Whiplash” meets Tom Jones. Tight horns and drums.

Trying way too hard.

"Bloody Well Right" ... eh, OK. Want more yacht, less prog.

Some of this is really weird and interesting. The rest is forgettable.

Just rename the list ... it's not 1001 Albums to Listen to before you Die ... it's really: A Bunch of Really Terrible English Prog Rock Albums from the 70s ... and some Other Stuff. This is just dreck.

KISS is the candy corn of classic rock. Either you hate it or you love it — there's no in-between when it comes to this overly processed shit.

A few classic tracks wedged between a bunch of average ones.

Not at all satisfied.

“Who Killed …… The Zutons?” Who really fucking cares?

You can smell the sea salt taste the Cuba Libres.

There's a sameness to all these songs, but the best ones — "Radio Free Europe," "Catapult," "Pilgrimage" and "West of the Fields" are as listenable as ever. R.E.M. didn't make bad records.

Pretty much the most early-2000s thing ever.

OK, Bjork, I’m impressed.

Music made for middle school kids to piss off their parents.

Your mom loves this record.

There was only one way to go after "Rumours" — down. The best songs on this album are the ones sung by Stevie. Just a bloated, sprawling album that lacks focus, but still has some bright moments.

Elevator music.

How many drugs were these guys on?

Man, the Temps really were off in all directions on this album. Obviously influenced by Marvin’s foray into social commentary while also staying true to their roots.

Pop music has its artistic peaks and valleys … but this shit is so bad, it’s subterranean. It should be buried deep underground in a time capsule, back in 2000, never to be unsealed.

An absolute classic. Listened to this album nonstop while riding the subways while I lived in Paris. And "The Questions" remain: Why do I need ID to get ID?

Fucking hipsters

Nobody cares …

You can hear the self-importance oozing through the speakers.

OK, you got me, Killers. Someone, somewhere, please explain to me why I’m supposed to hate this album. Because, damn, I want to rip this to shreds … but here I am, chanting… “I got soul, but I’m not a soldier!” And I’m not being ironic.