Felt Mountain

Achingly trendy, all the songs sound like musical beds for adverts. Not anything more than "passing fare".

This is like the Garbage Bond theme for an off-brand film. Nothing like some theremin (maybe theremin-adjacent) noise to add to the enjoyment of an album. Goldfrapp heard Portishead and thought they could do that. This is the score to a neo-noir film set in Paris. The theremin is back! I bet Zach Braff heard this and wanted to find a place for it in a moody sci-fi relationship on a spaceship film. I get the label "cinematic" when referring to an album now. Why wouldn't you add yodeling to your electronica, natural fit. A circus music interlude feels about right.

Maybe I just don’t get it but I really did not like this one

I'd give this a zero if I could, it's an absolute car crash. Why wouldn't you pick Julee Cruise or Portishead over this?

It reminded me of a music you'd hear in an elevator of a hotel that's trying to be cooler and sexier than it is. Barely made it to the finish line.

Weird futuristic movie sounds?

Not a fan, depressing

Not sure what kind of pictures this band has of the author but that’s the only way to explain them having 2 albums on the list let alone one. Combination of bad James Bond song with 80s tv theme show music with whispered vocals in a weird falsetto. Awful.

This album nearly put me to sleep and not in a good way. Absolutely zero energy but full of boredom and dullness. Watching paint dry would have excited me more.

This is an assault on the ears. Lets do the maths. 1001 albums over how many years, 4 decades, maybe more, but lets go conservative. Top 50 albums from each year x 40 years = 2000. Maybe a lot of dross in that figure so cut out half = 1000, which in turn should account for the best 25 albums of each year over the course of 40+ years. This album made it to 57 in the UK charts. I didn't need to hear this before I die.

Trip-hop tåget hade lämnat stationen för länge sedan när Goldfrapp köpte biljett. Till skillnad från Portishead som var både lokförare och konduktör så står Goldfrapp kvar än idag och väntar. Ja, det här albumet låter eomväntan på det tåg som redan gått.

The mix of electronic and cabaret style music does not blend well when listening to this album. Just weird vibes all round

Not for me 1/5

This is a weird one. Why is this on this list? The whole album sounds like a James Bond soundtrack. This album is so weird. It gets weirder as you go along. Oompah Radar? WTF?

1 Star (2/15)

chato. utopia é a melhorzinha.

Strange

This wasn't for me

No, I don’t want that.

kinda dramatic, kinda cinematic, really kinda boring. if I had a nickel for every time this list gave me demented circus music!

It’s finally time for the other Goldfrapp album! I came into this project with a very vague familiarity with Goldfrapp, but the songs I know by them aren’t on either of the albums on the list. I really enjoyed listening to Seventh Tree, giving it four stars. However, if I were to rate it today, I think I’d be more inclined to rate it as five stars. Either way, I’ve been looking forward to listening to Felt Mountain, and now I’ll finally get my chance! Well, for all the hype I built up for this album, I really didn’t care for it at all. I really wasn’t expecting this album to be filled with songs that were really slow. Yes, Seventh Tree had some slower songs on it, but it also had some up-tempo songs as well, and those moments were nowhere to be found on Felt Mountain. Goldfrapp also have plenty of songs that are full of great electronic hooks, but this album didn’t have any of that either. My biggest beef with this album is that it was just boring from start to finish. The songs on it were nice and pleasant, but I didn’t feel like any of them did anything interesting musically, nor did they have anything interesting to say lyrically. I still think Seventh Tree is great, but man, this was a huge miss for me, and I was not expecting it at all.

I was psyched for this because I’m a trip-hop fan. Oof. Torch song vocals with spacey electronics. Did not like.

Xmas music

Not my type of music

Is this some kind of theme song collection from a disney haunted house attraction or something?

Hardly noticed it but was relieved when YouTube Music went on to auto-play and something else came on so...

2.5/10 Nope, nije ovo za mene. Ovo mi je za neke romanticne trilere-drame o strastvenoj ljubavi, izdaji, misterioznim ljubavnicima, pistoljem ispod jastuka, pimpeku u sladoledu ili kako god to vec ide dalje. Stvar Felt Mountain mi jedina donekle prolazi, ostalo nista. I sve stvari zvuce kao da su zadnje na albumu. Mozda zene u menopauzi ili lezbo-studentice koje su upisale likovnu ili film ce ovo cijeniti. I neka. Dao priliku, nisam publika za ovakvu glazbu. Sign me out, next.

Could not get through this. Not for me.

The ambient lo-fi music just isn’t for me

Oh sweet Jesus. What is this going to be? I’ve never even heard of this band. Ah man the intro is rich. I didn’t expect vocals after the intro. Thought it might be instrumental. Old style torch singing. I do love the music. That modulated guitar/keyboard/keypad is pretty sick. The whistling and harpsichord is great. The vocals are ok, but the music shines here. Cool start. We’re sticking with this harpsichord hey? Fuck yeah. I mean the vocals are also continuing. Again, the layers of instrumentation are so cool, but I’m not sure how exciting the vocals are and how bad this will wear out its welcome over 40 minutes. So far, so good, but I can see tiring of the sultry whisper murmurs. Nah. First misstep to start. Is this a bond song? It’s catchy. The glitchy tech stabs accompanying salsa music tell me we’re not in the 60s anymore. Oh and anything remotely salsa-y is a sure fire skip. Of course I don’t skip anything here, but it was a skip in spirit. And we’re back to the low singing. It’s like a futuristic cabaret bar where you request personalized songs from an AI generated torch singer. The music is less interesting here. That really was a nothing song. Felt soulless. GET OUT OF MY EAR. Thank you. They backed up slightly. THEYRE BACK AHHHHHHHHHH. PLEASE GOLDFRAPP, NOOOOO. Why have we veered away from the music to focus on singing exclusively???? This sucked. Alright. Now we’re getting into silly yodelling. Like I get it. You think you sound good. Please be accompanied by good music. This one is a slight return to form. High pitched, whining instrumentation is cool but disappears/fades into boredom far too quickly. Papers please theme music. Not complaining. Also a vanishing of vocals for the beginning stages was a beautiful oasis. Buddy my “Oompa radar” is off the charts. Can’t sneak one of those fuckers past me. Anyway. This has devolved into more vocal exercises from our favourite AI cabaret singer. Nope. This sucks. I wondered aloud (in this very text box) whether or not this would get tired. It has. I have. This thing is dragging and has become a self-indulgent mess. The novelty wore off after two tracks. I’m reading about the band because I’m bored. It’s the singers name??? No way. She obviously believes she’s the second coming of Billie holiday. Another boring track. I was thinking “this next song sounds cool!” and it turned out that Spotify autoplayed a different artist. Yeah, I found this didn’t go anywhere. It’s dripping with this sense that the creators believe it’s the greatest thing ever. What started out as interesting sort of stayed with the same ideas for the entire duration of the album that got old and were never expanded on. 1.5 HIGHLIGHTS: Lovely Head

Dull

Just not my type of music

Gross

More like goldcrapp

Boring to me and the vocals easily got lost in the mix. 1.5/5

Good lord, this is one of the most boring albums I've ever heard, and I've listened to like 2 hours of sinewave drones. I can see the overlap with the trip-hop scene at the time, but doesn't even have any of the residual energy of hip-hop or beat-driven music. This is like stretching out rather genteel sounding pop and jazz into monotonous tapestries of nothing. 1*

if they play this for me while i’m on my deathbed, i will die afraid

Not sure what this is supposed to do for me, but it was one of the most boring albums ever

Whoever said goldcrapp was right

I know the good book says judge not, lest ye be judged, but I’m just gonna go out on a limb and say it: this fellas idea of albums to listen to before death and mine vary GREATLY.

Furchtbares Gewinsel!

Slightly goth 90s style electronic music from the 2000s. Gave it a chance and checking the artist top songs on apple music. Not for me.

Not my kind of music

Just no

I didn't mind Lovely Head but this is rough. Hard to listen to, far too many nonsense ambient or jarring noises. No thanks.

It supposed to be atmospheric, but it’s just annoying.

I tried…I really tried…but I couldn’t finish…it’s not the electronica, it’s that it sounds like soulless drivel to me

Jesus Christ, so boring. The album cover is 100x more interesting than the music. The only tolerable song was “Utopia” but I don’t even want to listen to that again tbh. No joy man, no joy. Fail.

Sehr chillig. Für mich zu chillig. Eher sleepish. Ich bin im Büro, muss noch was tun, sorry.

i’m not gonna lie, i don’t like this her voice is pretty nice, but i don’t enjoy this album, i don’t think the melodie’s are interesting, i respect the ideas but this isn’t really gravitating towards me very much.

Ich nehme an ein One Hit wonder? Kenne nur das bekannteste lied von ihr auf Spotify... kann sonst nichts mit der anfangen.

Nope not a one. Why?

Wow this was interesting. They are trying way too hard to be different on here and it just comes out looking weird. Very atmospheric/etherial. Not my thing at all.

Wtf is this, James Bond?

This was real bad.

One long James Bond song

That was crap. At best it was audition to be the next James Bond chanteuse.

Worst James Bond soundtrack ever.

Haikeita säveliä vähään tyytyvältä duolta.

Interminable - I will die an extremely happy man if I never listen to this album again in my life.

Someone wake me up. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Not really my thing, overall did not enjoy it. 1/5 Won’t listen again

I found this quite boring overall, and just not my kind of music. It was like listening to a 40 minute long Bond film intro.

Not for me. 1/5

aaa t

Just doesn’t grab you.

This was just weirdddd. I feel like these songs could be used in a black and white movie from like 70 years ago when something devastating happened and the main character is at a crossroads. But let’s leave it there. I don’t need to listen to this again.

A boring version of Portishead

Nah bro. I’ve done my electronica DJ bullshit time already. No more. This is weak, weird crap that I don’t like.

I ALREADY RATED THIS YOU IDIOTS

This whole album felt like an awful Bond soundtrack.

Oh this isn’t good

not my kind

meh

Boring and samey

Yikes! Human is a good song, other than that I have absolutely no interest in this. I genuinely can't tell sometimes if it's her voice or a theremin but either way it doesn't sound right.

No...just, no

Their later records were fun and danceable. This was not. What IS this?

Nothing special.

Very slow and sleepy. Did not enjoy

So much trip hop and similar stuff, maybe I'm just getting unlucky

Another case where I do not understand what this album has of extraordinary

The boringest.

This was bad. Felt like they were trying really hard to be Bjork

Not for me no thank you

I don't get this at all

3/02/22

A really weird and rather dull album. Don’t feel like this one appealed much to me. Could never get into it. 1.6/10

I had heard of Goldfrapp before, and thought I enjoyed it more than this. This was some jazz-fusionesque slightly radioheadish scat nonsense.

No ty

Not my thing.

Nej

Not a fan

I didn't know this singer but listening to her I don't like. Sorry.

Crap

Boring

not good, weird

Super boring. Maybe a little like Enya? Very ambient/ethereal..... not much in the way of actual instrumentation.

Insipid, soul less and forgettable.

Just plain bad. Weird singing and background music. 1/10.

it's not bad, but too repetitive

What was that. Weird confusing sounds

big no

too poppy, bad chick movie music