265
Albums Rated
3.14
Average Rating
24%
Complete
824 albums remaining
Rating Distribution
Rating Timeline
Taste Profile
1950s
Favorite Decade
Metal
Favorite Genre
US
Top Origin
Wordsmith
Rater Style ?
36
5-Star Albums
29
1-Star Albums
Breakdown
By Genre
By Decade
By Origin
Albums
You Love More Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Slipknot
Slipknot
|
5 | 2.67 | +2.33 |
|
Fishscale
Ghostface Killah
|
5 | 3.06 | +1.94 |
|
Drunk
Thundercat
|
5 | 3.11 | +1.89 |
|
American Beauty
Grateful Dead
|
5 | 3.24 | +1.76 |
|
Rust In Peace
Megadeth
|
5 | 3.24 | +1.76 |
|
British Steel
Judas Priest
|
5 | 3.3 | +1.7 |
|
The Yes Album
Yes
|
5 | 3.31 | +1.69 |
|
If I Should Fall From Grace With God
The Pogues
|
5 | 3.34 | +1.66 |
|
Doggystyle
Snoop Dogg
|
5 | 3.38 | +1.62 |
|
Smash
The Offspring
|
5 | 3.38 | +1.62 |
You Love Less Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Coat Of Many Colors
Dolly Parton
|
1 | 3.42 | -2.42 |
|
Hybrid Theory
Linkin Park
|
1 | 3.39 | -2.39 |
|
Songs Of Leonard Cohen
Leonard Cohen
|
1 | 3.38 | -2.38 |
|
xx
The xx
|
1 | 3.37 | -2.37 |
|
Channel Orange
Frank Ocean
|
1 | 3.31 | -2.31 |
|
Pornography
The Cure
|
1 | 3.31 | -2.31 |
|
Melody A.M.
Röyksopp
|
1 | 3.21 | -2.21 |
|
Trio
Dolly Parton
|
1 | 3.13 | -2.13 |
|
Dig Your Own Hole
The Chemical Brothers
|
1 | 3.12 | -2.12 |
|
Music For The Jilted Generation
The Prodigy
|
1 | 3.07 | -2.07 |
Artists
Favorites
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Beatles | 3 | 4.67 |
| Queen | 2 | 5 |
| Black Sabbath | 2 | 5 |
| Coldplay | 2 | 5 |
Least Favorites
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Dolly Parton | 2 | 1 |
| Public Image Ltd. | 2 | 1 |
| The Cure | 3 | 1.67 |
Controversial
| Artist | Ratings |
|---|---|
| The Beach Boys | 5, 2 |
5-Star Albums (36)
View Album Wall
Popular Reviews
The Slits
1/5
This was almost unlistenable. There’s noisy bands, and then there’s bands that just make noise. I didn’t care for these ladies at all. Seemed like a sort of Talking Heads knock off, but without the creativity, charm, or talent. I only listened to half. Perhaps the second half was better, but I don’t know. I don’t want to know. Quite frankly it’s a half an album I could do without.
2 likes
Bob Dylan
2/5
"How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?”
"Seven!"
"No, Dad. It's a rhetorical question."
"Rhetorical, eh? Eight!”
Dylan is a hard pass for me. I get he’s a fantastic song writer tackling the big issues of the day, but these songs would be better sung be anyone else. I’m sure they would have still let him play his harmonica, but someone should have taken that mic out of his hand. Still gets 2 ⭐️ for his prolific lyrics, but buddy needed to take some singing lessons.
1 likes
Slipknot
5/5
Holy shit, I did not expect this album to turn up here. I remember when this thing came out. The late 90’s were a disappointing time for new music. MTV stopped playing videos for TRL & Reality bull shit, the radio was full of Creed, Nickleback, and Boy Bands, and metal was morphing into its Nu phase with Linkin Park, Papa Roach, and Limp Bizkit 😒. Then out of fucking nowhere come these masked lunatics from Iowa with this record that is just banger after face melting banger. This shit still hits hard. Saw them when they were touring for this album, and I got kicked in the knee in the pit. My buddy Ray tried stealing one the Slipknot guy’s shoes when he jumped into the crowd from on top of the speakers, and he got kicked in his chest. Good times 🤘🏻🤘🏻
1 likes
Radiohead
2/5
Radiohead is hit or miss for me, and this one was a big miss. Was it 16 songs or one long confusing noisy mashup designed to make me sleepy. Everything sounded pretty much the same. Pablo Honey, The Bends, Ok Computer, and In Rainbows would have all been better choices than this dud.
1 likes
Astor Piazzolla
1/5
I’m not sure what I expected from a tango album, but it wasn’t shitty 70’s sci fi movie background music. Felt like I was on The Planet of The Apes getting chased through a corn field for some of these songs. This shit sucked. It gave me a headache. Bailed after a few tracks. If I want accordion music, I’ll stick to Weird Al.
1 likes
1-Star Albums (29)
All Ratings
Earth, Wind & Fire
4/5
4.5 Stars. Yearnin Learnin and Africano were my favorite tracks, but really not a bad song on the whole album. Love me some horns.
The Cure
2/5
Ehh, the album is a bit slow and depressing, but what do you expect from The Cure. Love Pictures of You & Love Song, but this one isn’t for me. 2.5 Stars.
Frank Ocean
1/5
Pretty sure I am not this album’s target audience. Felt more like a poetry reading put to music and kinda weird music at that. Wish he would stick to singing like a normal person and not fluctuate between kind of nasally and high pitched like his balls were getting squeezed. You got a couple really short songs that end just when they were getting good, then BOOM….9 minutes of Pyramids. The whole thing was confusing. It was like failing College English Tests all over again.
The Isley Brothers
4/5
Loved this one. Great album from start to finish. Funky like an old pair of gym socks. Favorite tracks: That Lady & Summer Breeze. I can see this one being the soundtrack to a lot of pregnancies back in the day. 4.5 Stars.
Thin Lizzy
3/5
I should probably like these guys more, but for whatever reason Thin Lizzy is still just sort of ok for me. Live albums can be hit or miss as far as production goes, but the sound quality was excellent here. Really enjoyed the guitar riffs on Suicide and Sha La La, and the surprise Huey Lewis harmonica on Baby Drives Me Crazy was great.
New York Dolls
3/5
A fine little punk-ish album. I prefer the Ramones, but I found this to be a rather enjoyable listen.
Solomon Burke
3/5
Love me some old time rock & roll. It’s like I’m back working at the old Scoop Shop. Highlights: Can’t Nobody Love You, Cry To Me, and Can’t Love Em All. 3.5 stars.
Blur
4/5
What a nice little 90’s album. Never really got into Blur back in the day. Probably because CDs were too expensive to take a chance on when all I knew was Song 2 from Q101 radio play, and I had MTG cards and comics to buy. Enjoyed the entire album, but the highlights for me were: Tracy Jacks, Parklife, and Badhead.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
4/5
First one of these I actually own a physical copy of. I’m not a big Neil Young guy, but when my pack rat uncle suddenly passed during Covid the family had to deal with his estate and clearing out his house FULL of stuff. I got the task of selling off his old record collection. A buddy of mine came down from Muncie to help sort and price them. As we sat in my garage pawing through bin after bin of old dusty albums and playing them on my little portable player, deciding which I was selling and which I was gonna keep as inheritance, we eventually got to the Neil Young’s. My buddy insisted I keep this one and Oyster Bay and give them a try. Still not a big Neil Young fan, but I do enjoy the memory of listening to records in my garage on a sunny Covid afternoon, drinking beers, talking music, and enjoying some company that wasn’t a foster pug or the guy selling contactless to go orders from Fire By The Monon for a change, and that memory alone is worth 4 stars.
Various Artists
3/5
Listened to this while making a ham. This is a hard one to rate. Sure, it’s a five star Christmas album, but I’m not going to want to listen to this one in June. We’ll call it a 2.5 ⭐️ album, but round up to 3 because it’s Baby Jesus’ Birthday.
Oasis
5/5
A classic album that oozes 90’s vibes. Not a bad song on it. Live Forever is just a fantastic track.
Sade
3/5
That saxophone on Smooth Operator was steamy as hell. Those horns here were oozing 80’s sex appeal, like this album could have been the soundtrack for an episode of the Red Shoe Diaries. 3.5 ⭐️
OutKast
4/5
Second one of these I own a physical copy of. Though like the Neil Young album, partial credit this time to my wife. It’s not often she makes a pick at the record store. I love the hits, but deep cut Outcast, for me, isn’t as great as other early 00’s rappers like Nelly, Ludacris, or Talib. Still a solid 4 ⭐️ for BOB, So Fresh So Clean, and Ms Jackson. Dig the song with Erykah Badu too.
Ray Charles
4/5
Not sure if this is a R&B or a Big Band album, but if you can’t feel the soul oozing out of every track then something is wrong with you. I’ll bet this album would have been an even better listen in a dimly lit room, with a 7 & 7, and a fresh pack of unfiltered smokes instead of behind a desk, looking at insurance claims, and drinking a cup of coffee.
Eagles
3/5
Ehh, it’s fine. Not a big Eagles guy, and I don’t get what Elaine sees in Witchy Woman. Take It Easy is a banger, tho. 3.5 ⭐️
Bob Dylan
2/5
"How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?”
"Seven!"
"No, Dad. It's a rhetorical question."
"Rhetorical, eh? Eight!”
Dylan is a hard pass for me. I get he’s a fantastic song writer tackling the big issues of the day, but these songs would be better sung be anyone else. I’m sure they would have still let him play his harmonica, but someone should have taken that mic out of his hand. Still gets 2 ⭐️ for his prolific lyrics, but buddy needed to take some singing lessons.
Queen
5/5
Another album I own a physical copy of, but this one’s all me. I’ve loved Queen since Wayne’s World came out, so of course I was excited to find this gem in the used bin for $10. Bohemian Rhapsody is the star of this album…No question, but I really enjoy 39. I’m not normally a folksy guy, but when you got a folk song about space travel with a pounding bass line like this, woo boy. A delightfully weird album with a quirky mix of musical styles that somehow all fit brilliantly together.
The Who
4/5
When The Who rock, they rock the fuck out. My Generation still hits hard today. However, I really enjoyed Much Too Much & The Kids Are Alright which were considerably more chill. These guys can do it all.
The Prodigy
1/5
Well there goes my high 90’s decade rating right down the toilet. Fuck this album. Full disclosure, I didn’t finish. I bailed after 6 tracks (which was still 32 lousy minutes of repetitive nonsense). I didn’t like Prodigy’s weird techno bull shit when they popped up in America in mid 90’s. I still didn’t like it when The Matrix came out and made industrial techno and those dumb long leather duster jackets popular again at the end of the decade either. I’ll bet this genre is a considerably better listen in a crowded warehouse rave at 3 am high as hell on ecstasy, but it’s god awful at 8:00 am behind a desk reviewing insurance claims. There had better be an Iron Maiden album down the road on this list, or I’m calling bull shit! 0 ⭐️🖕🏻🖕🏻
Charles Mingus
3/5
Solid Jazz album. A bit disjointed at the start, but that’s kind of to be expected from jazz. The later songs made me feel like I was watching an old timey black & white detective movie, where the smoke show blonde walks in on the half drunk private eye pleading him to take her case then he mumbles something about not working for no dames before an inner monologue starts in about how he needs the money to pay off Franky Fingers or some shit. 🕵🏻♂️💃🥃
The Monkees
2/5
“Ew! You like The Monkees?
You know they don't write their own songs.”
“They do so!”
“They don't even play their own instruments.”
“No! No!”
“That's not even Michael Nesmith's real hat.”
Ehhh, it’s a fine little Beatles knockoff. Not sure why this album is on the list, when none of the hits are on it and what is on it isn’t anything too spectacular. Solid 2.5 ⭐️ middle of road very ok album.
Led Zeppelin
3/5
How you gonna start an album with an absolute fucking banger like Immigrant Song then roll into nothing but sleepy time snoozers. This album gave me the equivalent of rock & roll blue balls. 2.5 ⭐️ rounded up for Immigrant Song
Radiohead
2/5
Radiohead is hit or miss for me, and this one was a big miss. Was it 16 songs or one long confusing noisy mashup designed to make me sleepy. Everything sounded pretty much the same. Pablo Honey, The Bends, Ok Computer, and In Rainbows would have all been better choices than this dud.
Richard Thompson
2/5
“Grrr... Now when I say "hello, Mr. Thompson" and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.” 😑
“No problem.”🫡
“Hello, Mr. Thompson.”😉
“I think he's talking to you.” 🤔
I guess it is a fine album if you like folk music, but I don’t. Might have been a little better if there were more songs like Little Begger Girl that had some pep to them, but this one was a real snooze fest. Someone get the Thompsons a coffee pot or a baggie of coke.
Ghostface Killah
5/5
Dope album. Who am I to give notes to Ghostface Killah?
Dolly Parton
1/5
Disclaimer: I REALY don’t like country music, and this one felt like a country album intended for ladies in bad relationships with their man but who still have a good relationship with Jesus. This album is a hard pass for me. Linda Ronstadt got some pipes on her, and I like a good collaboration project as much as the next guy, but this was no duet with The Plow King.
“🎶Mr. Plow is a loser, and I think he is a boozer…🎵So you better make that call to the Plow King🎵”
The Mamas & The Papas
5/5
Another album on here I own a physical copy of. I rescued this gem from the clearance bin, marked down from $1 to only 25 cents. What a bargain! Their harmonies are up there with The Beach Boys and The Beatles for The GOAT, in my opinion. Not a bad song on here. I’m not always in a mood for hippy folk rock, but when I am, it doesn’t get much better than this.
The Beach Boys
5/5
Great album. What sort of joyless twat doesn’t like The Beach Boys?
Everything But The Girl
2/5
This is a peculiar little album. The instrumentals are giving me big time Hold/Elevator music vibes. The lady singer is WAY better than her buddy. The songs with lyrics kind of got an older 10,000 Maniacs thing going on. Not sure what to make of this or why it’s on the list.
5/5
Just a fantastic album by one strange dude. Songs on it from The Martian and Guitar Hero only sweetens the deal. No complaints.
Neneh Cherry
2/5
Who’s picking these things? This album is nothing but a generic late 80’s early 90’s hip hop album with nothing special standing out. Maybe it would have sounded better if I was wearing one of those airbrushed Bugs Bunny shirts where he’s got on baggy pants and a backwards hat.
Big Brother & The Holding Company
5/5
Loved this album. So good, I listened to it twice. That Crumb cover art really lets you know you’re about to get freaky with some underground 60’s shit. Not a bad song on the album which is part acid rock, part psychedelic, a splash of blues, and all sorts of awesome. Janis Joplin was a bad ass. This one deserves all 5 ⭐️
Bob Dylan
3/5
Christ almighty, how many Bob Dylan albums we gonna get before we get a proper metal album? I mean, Bob Dylan is a great songwriter and all, but there’s more than folk rock music to listen too.
Curtis Mayfield
5/5
Loved this one. Those horns. Those drums. That little splash of flute. Possibly some harp? There was a lot going on here. All of it absolutely fantastic. Peak 70’s blacksploitation soundtrack right here. Only complaint was I wanted more.
The Slits
1/5
This was almost unlistenable. There’s noisy bands, and then there’s bands that just make noise. I didn’t care for these ladies at all. Seemed like a sort of Talking Heads knock off, but without the creativity, charm, or talent. I only listened to half. Perhaps the second half was better, but I don’t know. I don’t want to know. Quite frankly it’s a half an album I could do without.
Air
4/5
I liked this one. No clue what the movie is about. No idea who Air are, but this was an enjoyable little listen. It was giving me Flaming Lips vibes due to its artsy weirdness and use of synths and noises as music. 4.5 ⭐️
Johnny Cash
5/5
I’m not a big Country & Western guy, but I am a sucker for a good live album. The man in black did not disappoint here. Mad respect to the older country singers who would throw up the middle finger and spit in the face of the authorities, as opposed to the boot licking conformist pussies we got these days.
Herbie Hancock
4/5
A delightfully weird little album. Not sure if this is jazz or funk, but I enjoyed it. Maybe a splash of prog towards the end??? Would have been even better with fat doobie, instead of sitting behind my work computer, but so it goes.
Derek & The Dominos
2/5
Ehh, it’s fine I guess. Not the biggest Clapton guy. I prefer him in small doses, and this album seemed to drag. -1 ⭐️ for off album activities. What sort of cunt steals a Beatles wife?
Curtis Mayfield
3/5
Good, but not great. I loved the funk, but the soul leaned a little bit too gospely/Jesusy for my tastes. Super Fly was better.
Side complaint: how we gonna get 2 Curtis Mayfield albums before we get even one Metal album 😕
Snoop Dogg
5/5
Another album I own a physical copy of. Man, this thing is just great. That cover art is iconic, but I feel like it’s somehow even more alluring with one of those parental advisory labels slapped on it (eat shit Tipper Gore, you uptight bitch. Your scheme didn’t work). Not a bad song on it. Pop this bad boy on, find me some shitty seed filled brick weed, a six pack of Red Dog or some Mickey’s hand grenades, and I’m transported back to the 90’s. Easily 5⭐️
Black Sabbath
5/5
Finally, a metal album. Praise be to Satan 🤘🏻🤘🏻. I have not listened to this album all the way through since my brother threw a party and my CD case went “missing” back in 99. Black Sabbath are the grand daddies of Metal, and I assume every 13 year old metal curious kid gets a copy of this at some point. So fucking good. Although admittedly pretty tame by today’s Metal standards, this thing still rocks. Everyone knows the hits, but I’m a sucker for Electric Funeral. This album was the soundtrack to many a Magic The Gathering game back in the day. I really should buy another copy.
Linkin Park
1/5
This shit is lame. Bailed after 3 songs. Nu Metal is pretty awful. Seems like a boring knockoff of Rage Against The Machine, but instead of killer music and gripping, thought provoking lyrics, you get a bunch of whiny suburban pussies who are mad at their parents. I hated this shit when it was new. I still dislike it now.
Taylor Swift
2/5
Ehh, I know I’m pretty far from the target demographic for this album, but I just don’t see what the fuss is all about. Sort of reminded me of that Ed Sheeran mix of modern pop plus a bit of folksy acoustic guitar. Maybe this great if you’re a broad who’s dated a bunch of lousy men, but it’s just not for me. Pretty middle of the road, not too great but certainly not terrible either. Solid 2.5 ⭐️ which probably would have rounded up to 3, until Bon Iver turned up on the final track 😒.
Spiritualized
4/5
I liked this. Super Duper Chill. It’s got that spacey ethereal weird indie rock vibe. Sort of reminiscent of the older Flaming Lips, Modest Mouse or Built To Spill records. I’d be interested in checking out more shit from these guys. It did seem to drag a little bit towards the end. A hour long runtime for this sort of music is a bit much. Solid 4 stars, tho.
Amy Winehouse
5/5
Solid album. Lots of soul in that voice. It’s like a modern take on an old school jazz lounge singer act. The band was great too. No complaints from me.
U2
2/5
Ehh, it’s ok. Not a big U2 guy, and their 80’s stuff is better in my opinion. Perfectly ok middle of the road album that I was ready to be done with before the nearly hour long run time. 2.5 ⭐️ that is rounding down. I have not forgotten about how hard it was to get rid of that dumb Songs of Innocence album these cunts forced onto everyone’s IPhone back in the day. Not without my consent, Bono!
Beatles
5/5
Another one of these I own a physical copy of. I LOVE this album. Hands down my favorite Beatles album. Such a wonderful mix of styles, moods, and themes that all seamlessly combine into a brilliant easily digestible album. Eleanor Rigby is such a hauntingly beautiful song, and those horns in Got To Get You Into My Life 😍.
Slipknot
5/5
Holy shit, I did not expect this album to turn up here. I remember when this thing came out. The late 90’s were a disappointing time for new music. MTV stopped playing videos for TRL & Reality bull shit, the radio was full of Creed, Nickleback, and Boy Bands, and metal was morphing into its Nu phase with Linkin Park, Papa Roach, and Limp Bizkit 😒. Then out of fucking nowhere come these masked lunatics from Iowa with this record that is just banger after face melting banger. This shit still hits hard. Saw them when they were touring for this album, and I got kicked in the knee in the pit. My buddy Ray tried stealing one the Slipknot guy’s shoes when he jumped into the crowd from on top of the speakers, and he got kicked in his chest. Good times 🤘🏻🤘🏻
Deep Purple
4/5
Smoke On The Water has been ruined for me by a million shitty marching band covers, but the story behind it is pretty fucking Rock & Roll. Some ass hat shot a flare gun off at a Zappa concert and burnt the place down where Deep Purple was gonna record this album. Who knew 🤷🏻♂️. Overall, I liked it. Definitely more Rock than Metal, but I can see those early Heavy Metal seeds starting to poke their heads out on this thing.
The Young Gods
2/5
Hello?
Itchy & Scratchy Land, open for business!
Who are you to resist it, huh?
Come on, my last paycheck bounced! My children need wine!
I’m positive whoever did the accent for the Euro Itchy & Scratchy Land bit heard this record and parodied his guy’s voice. Man, the Swiss were into some weird shit in the late 80’s, huh? The harder songs are all right, but some of these tracks sound like creepy circus music.
Depeche Mode
2/5
Depeche Mode…More like Depress Mode, am I right? Good lord, this album was one giant fucking bummer. I like 80’s synth pop and sad songs as much as the next guy, but man there was just not much here for me. Even The Cure toss in an upbeat sad song on their albums every once in awhile. Not unlistenable or anything, but too much of a downer for my tastes.
Duke Ellington
3/5
Not bad. Jazz isn’t always in my listening rotation, but I do enjoy it when it comes around. Love me some big bands, but not all the time. 3.5 ⭐️
Metallica
4/5
Come on people, somebody ordered the London Symphony Orchestra. Possibly while high? Cypress Hill, I'm looking in your direction.
Love me some Metallica, and by that I mean: Kill Em All, Ride The Lightning, Master Of Puppets, and …And Justice For All. S&M is the rare “newer” album by them I do enjoy. The orchestra melded nicely with the band, but some of the song choices leave room to be desired. Could have trimmed down that run time a bit if there weren’t 6 songs from Load & Reload included 😒…but I suppose if you go to the trouble of getting a whole ass orchestra you’re gonna use it. And to be fair, I guess I do have a soft spot for Hero Of The Day. Just an exceptionally lame song. Who would have thought Metallica would have a song that makes mention of an easy chair 🤷🏻♂️
The Velvet Underground
3/5
I’m with Daria and her opinion of this record, “Should I file this under Self-Indulgent Posers or Underrated Geniuses?” I like weird, artsy, and innovative music, but something feels off about this record. Almost like it’s being weird, and artsy just for the sake of being weird and artsy, and the music is just the medium for a bunch of avant guard weirdos to do their thing. Maybe you just had to be there and catch this shit when it was fresh, but count me out. 2.5 ⭐️ rounding up. I get this album is generally considered influential, and I am probably a bit too dumb to properly appreciate it.
The Cure
1/5
Depressing, even by The Cure standards. A bit on the noisy side as well. Thanks, but no thanks.
Count Basie & His Orchestra
3/5
I liked it. A lot of these big band jazzy albums sound the same. I don’t really have the ear to distinguish them, but they all are pleasant enough to listen to. 3.5 ⭐️ rounding down because I was expecting something a bit more intense from that album cover.
Leonard Cohen
1/5
I bailed after 5 songs. I have always DESPISED that damn Hallelujah song, and now I can fucking hate Leonard Cohen too. This album is a slow moving, monotonous, bummer. I can’t believe this sleepy time cunt is in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame but Iron Maiden isn’t 🙄
Scritti Politti
2/5
This album’s vibe is best described as: Super Duper 80’s. Dude even doing his best Michael Jackson impression with those high pitched vocals. Somehow all these songs sound vaguely familiar, but I haven’t heard any of them before. Like these songs could have been in a random 80’s movie, but nothing iconic or memorable like Breakfast Club, we’ll go with something like Police Academy 4 during a montage sequence and nobody noticed. I guess it’s good if you love the 80’s.
Run-D.M.C.
3/5
I appreciate their efforts in pioneering the rap genre. We’re not getting to Doggy Style or tons of other cool shit without these guys, but man, them 80’s raps are kind or corny. I guess this was amazing way back in the day, but I’m not in any hurry to hear it again anytime soon. 2.5⭐️ rounding up for laying the foundation of what was to come.
Muddy Waters
3/5
I’ve never much cared for George Thorogood, but I guess it turns out I’m just not much of a Blues guy. Maybe this shit hits hard if you’re walking along a sun scorched, lonesome dusty road or sitting in a Mississippi jail cell after a run in with the crooked local sheriff, but otherwise it’s gonna be a pass for me. And speaking of George Thorogood, he totally ripped off Manish Boy, so I guess I can hate him even more now. 2.5⭐️ rounding up because it’s not bad…I just don’t like it much 🤷🏻♂️
Fleetwood Mac
5/5
Another one of these I own a physical copy of. This came as a hand me down from my mother-in-law. I know a lot of people hate their mother-in-law, but not me. She’s great. She quietly reads her book. I quietly read mine. Nothing is said unless one of is grabbing another round of beers, and we each try to get through our books before her husband or my wife come over and start yapping about some nonsense. Such a fantastic album that gets a lot of play time at my house. Thanks for the record, Nancy.
The Who
4/5
All right lads, next album is gonna be a fucking rock opera.
Ok. What’s it gonna be about?
A deaf, dumb, and blind kid.
I don’t know, mate. Seems a bit odd for a rock & roll album.
But wait, he also crushes at pinball.
Fucking brilliant. Let’s make it a double.
Weather Report
3/5
Alright, let’s deal with elephant in the room first. That album cover is…fucking amazing 🤩. Is that a thunderstorm wearing a hat? Is the hat causing the storm over city or did it just happen to be floating by? Is the hat passing by a volcano, or did it catch the buildings on fire with lightning strikes causing the plumes of smoke? What would cause a seemingly normal hat to attack a city this way? Was this hat inspired by jihadi message boards? Why are only one of the leaves wet? Did that hat eventually find its way to the Beer Baron?
Sadly, the album answers none of these questions. It’s a weird little smooth jazz album with a mix of songs that could be an 80’s TV theme song, soft core porno background music, and one bongo drum tribal song.
I don’t know what to make of this, but 3 ⭐️ for the cover alone
Bruce Springsteen
2/5
Bailed about half way through. I hear this guy is The Boss. The Boss of what exactly? Generic Wuss Rock? And when did he start mumble singing like he’s Eddie Vedder? I bet people who chose VH1 over MTV probably love this shit. It’s not unlistenable. Just pretty lame 😒
Bill Callahan
1/5
This shit kinda sucks. It’s like a crappy high school music teacher tried making a demo tape. Sure Mr Callahan can play music, but he sings for shit. Ahh, he’ll just talk the lyrics, man…. It will be artsy. We’ll slap a picture of some out of focus horses on the cover, and I’ll get my buddy who works at the holistic crystal shop to put some copies on the counter. People who make their own deodorant and eat plain organic lentils for lunch everyday will eat it this shit up.
Michael Jackson
5/5
This shit fucking still bangs. They didn’t crown him The King Of Pop for nothing. Yeah, yeah, but what about all that funny business with the kids??? Ehh, he’s dead. 5 ⭐️ no deduction for being a creep. Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough is just too damn good 😍
Television
4/5
Did not expect a band from the 70’s to have this sort of indie rock sound. Kind of giving off Strokes/Wilco vibes. Loved the title track. Nice pick for this sort of playlist. 4.5 ⭐️
Slint
1/5
This shit sucks. They remind me of one of those pretentious local groups that always gets angry when they lose their small town battle of the bands and then get mad because nobody listens to “good music” around here 😒
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
3/5
Ehh, this one’s not for me. I enjoyed the band, but the singer kind of ruined it for me. I get this is one of those punk/folk/artsy acts that people who smoke American Spirits probably all love, but I found the up - down, sing songy voice, with surprise inflections out of nowhere to be irritating. I’d take Go Go Bordello or Angry Johnny and The Killbillies over this. 2.5 ⭐️ rounding up for the band
The Pogues
5/5
Loved it. Would’ve been much better with a pint of Guinness than behind a desk reviewing insurance claims, but bills need to get paid. Nobody does folk music better than the Irish. Give it a little bit of modernizing and you can’t miss. If you’re into Flogging Molly or Drop Kick Murphys than you’re gonna like this too.
Simon & Garfunkel
4/5
A great album to pop on if you’re looking to wind down and hit the sack. There’s some good tunes on here for sure, but the whole thing makes me very sleepy 🥱
Garbage
4/5
Solid 90’s album. Makes me yearn for some Red Dog Beers or a bottle of Boons Farm and a heavy dose of second hand Marlboro smoke….maybe a game of hacky sack
Muddy Waters
2/5
Bailed halfway. It’s about the same as the last Muddy Waters album I didn’t care for. Not because it’s bad or unlistenable, or anything Like that. I just don’t care much for blues music. If I need extra “blues” in my life, I’ll pop on the news.
Coldcut
1/5
What’s That Noise? Good question. Super 80’s vibe with hints of Disco, Hip Hop, and Techno that ends up feeling a bit like an EDM Jam Band. Pretty sure I caught them sampling old cartoons on one of these tracks. I don’t see what the fuss is. If this is supposed to be the birth of EDM, then someone should go back in time and strangle Coldcut in its crib.
Tortoise
2/5
Ehhh, I liked it at times and HATED it at times. You got a nice weird jam / jazz-ish thing going on then BOOM here’s some dead noise. Then we’re jamming, jamming, jamming, Fucking Surprise here’s a track with some god damn crickets. Probably would have liked it more if I was super baked, but then I would be searching my house for crickets.
Beastie Boys
5/5
Am I huge Beastie Boys fan? No. Do I love this album? Yes. Not really a bad song on it. Pretty sure if you’re of a certain age you had a copy of this at one time or another. Brass Monkey & Paul Revere are my favorites, but that xylophone work on Girls is rather impressive.
3/5
Not bad. Never really listened to any War before other than the radio hits. Funky & soulful. Felt like these songs could have been in a Shaft flick or even background music from one of the first two Rockys.
Roni Size
1/5
HATED IT. Got through a song and a half and bailed. This shit was Terrible. The only Techno I like is Techno Destructo. Let’s get some GWAR on this list already 🤘🏻🤘🏻
Siouxsie And The Banshees
3/5
Not bad. Sort of got an 80’s new wave-ish vibe that leans goth. Think Cure/Joy Division/Concrete Blonde. Felt like this could have been the soundtrack to The Craft. Spooky bitches probably ate this shit up.
Dion
3/5
Not bad, if you’re into oldies style rock & roll. Nothing amazing. Nothing terrible. Enjoyable in a not so exciting sort of way. Like the musical equivalent of going to Chili’s. 2.5 ⭐️ rounding up 🤷🏻♂️
ZZ Top
4/5
Solid album. No complaints. They rocked the hell out.
Booker T. & The MG's
3/5
Not bad. An enjoyable little blues/rock album. Feels like these songs were in a ton of 80’s or 90’s movies usually as background music when the new kid in town rolls up on his BMX bike and takes off his sunglasses and stares into the camera to let you know that he’s “cool”
Super Furry Animals
4/5
Solid album. Weird and artsy without being pretentious. An enjoyable listen with multiple styles that all fit together well.
Beatles
4/5
Another one of these I own a physical copy of. I love the later drug fueled Beatles albums, but this one is probably my least favorite. Still a great album.
Mike Oldfield
2/5
Huh, wouldn’t have guessed the Exorcist theme song would’ve turn up on here, but life is full of strange little surprises isn’t it? A bizarre album. 2.5⭐️ that’s rounding down for that growly ass werewolf shit going on towards the end. What the hell was that about? What was any of this about?
Buddy Holly & The Crickets
4/5
As far as oldies go, it doesn’t get much better. Reminds me of my time slanging ice cream cones at the old Scoop Shop.
Sister Sledge
3/5
Not bad. A little funkier than I was expecting from a disco album.
Blue Cheer
3/5
Not a bad little acid rock/blues rock/psych album. Loved the Summertime Blues cover. $10 these music dweebs consider this a Metal album 🙄
Kings of Leon
4/5
Not my favorite Kings of Leon album, but solid nonetheless. Haven’t listened to this one in years. I had a burnt copy on an old IPod courtesy of The Indianapolis Public Library. Wish these cunts wouldn’t cancel so many concerts on me 😒
Pet Shop Boys
2/5
Bailed about 1/2 way into this one. Admittedly not that bad, but lame. Like super lame. Like these fuckers should just wedgie themselves and steal their own lunch money.
Norah Jones
3/5
Ehhh, it’s fine. Perfectly good, mellow, coffee shop music. 2.5 ⭐️ rounding up because I like coffee ☕️
Billy Joel
4/5
Billy Joel is always solid. Only The Good Die Young fucking rocks. That album cover is pretty creepy, tho. What’s up with that mask?
TLC
4/5
Honestly never listened to the album before. Sure, that Waterfalls video was played a million times on MTV, but I really liked the 90’s, horny chick, r&b vibe the rest of the album had. Maybe Andre Rison had that shit coming. Red Light Special, Diggin On You, and Sumthin Wicked This Way Comes were my favorites. 4.5 ⭐️
Gillian Welch
1/5
Bailed half way through. It sounds too much like church music, and not those chanting monks that were big in the early 90’s. Weirdo, small congregation, the pastor is definitely up to something fishy style church music 😒.
Parliament
5/5
Loved it. Not a bad song on the entire album. George Clinton is the galactic king of funk. Say it with me now, “We’re not gonna protest”.
Buena Vista Social Club
4/5
Loved it. Probably would have been better sitting outside in the sun sipping an ice cold beer, than stuck behind a desk doing work bull shit, but what are you gonna do? 4.5 ⭐️
Jethro Tull
2/5
Slogged through the whole album because I’m a big prog rock fan, and these guys really should be in my wheelhouse. Figured perhaps I just didn’t like the songs that got radio play, but Nope, I still don’t care for Jethro Tull. At all. Something about that guy’s voice just rubs me the wrong way, and they go a bit too heavy on the old flute for my tastes. Not too fond of them winning that Grammy over Metallica’s And Justice For All either 😒
Daft Punk
2/5
Made it about 30 minutes in before I tapped out. That Rollin & Scratchin song gave me headache, and then I saw there was still another 45 minutes more to go. Fuck that. How come every god damn techno album has to be over an hour? These fucking songs are repetitive enough as is. Maybe you need be to high ass hell on Molly to make this shit enjoyable 🤷🏻♂️
The Go-Betweens
3/5
Ehh, it’s fine I suppose. One of those late 80’s early 90’s Post New Wave - Not Quite Yet Alternative middle of the road Indie Rock-ish albums. I don’t know who thought we all needed to hear this one, but I think something from The Replacements or The Alarm would have been a better choice. 2.5 ⭐️ rounding up because it was more Meh than Bad
Neil Young
3/5
Ehh, it’s alright. Not a big Neil Young guy. 2.5 ⭐️ rounding up because 🤷🏻♂️
Electric Light Orchestra
4/5
I would say this was a lovely little album, but there was nothing “little” about it. This thing was jam packed with jams. I did listen to the wrong ELO album at first because I’m a moron who can’t read properly. If you’re curious to see how I feel about A New World Record, see below:
Another one of these I own a physical copy of. Such a lovely little album that’s always worth a listen, but I can’t hear Telephone Line without thinking of Steve Buscemi in Billy Maddison 💄
Beck
4/5
I tend to enjoy Beck’s quirky style of music, and this album was no exception. Not my favorite album of his, but totally worth a listen. Odelay, Modern Guilt, and Morning Phase are definitely better. 3.5 ⭐️ rounding up.
Cowboy Junkies
1/5
Perhaps I expected something a bit more intense from a band calling themselves Cowboy Junkies. This shit was a real snooze fest, and Misguided Angel sounds like the damn Blue Bell Ice Cream jingle 😒. Sweet Jane was the only decent track, and that was a cover.
Thundercat
5/5
Loved it. A bizarre but coherent fusion of hip hop, funk, r&b, and jazz. Easy to get lost in the flow of this album. Had a chance to catch Thundercat at The Vogue awhile back, but I passed to watch the Game Of Thrones series finale. What a terrible decision that was 😔
The Hives
3/5
Enjoyed it. One of those turn of the century (god I feel old) punk-ish / abrasive rock revival bands. Like The Strokes or Jet. Missed this when it was new, but I totally would have picked up a copy on CD if Borders had this in the 2 for $20 bin. 3.5⭐️ rounding down
Stan Getz
3/5
Such a lovely album. It made me feel classy, like I was in The Thomas Crown Affair. 3.5⭐️
The Stone Roses
5/5
Wasn’t too familiar with Stone Roses. Heard a few songs on the radio, and I’m pretty sure they had a track on one of the Guitar Hero games back in the day. Man, what a great album. I did not see Fools Gold coming at the end. Totally will play this one again.
Röyksopp
1/5
Oh, great another fucking EDM/Techno album 🍑💨
2/5
I have mixed feelings about this album. 4 ⭐️ stars for the band. I really dug their sound, but only 1 ⭐️ for the singer who sounds like he’s struggling to squeeze out a huge uncooperative shit.
Machito
3/5
I liked it. Not something I would have ever sought out on my own, but it was a pleasant listen. Made me feel like I was at The Tropicana trying to get Ricky to let me be in the show. 3.5⭐️
The Smashing Pumpkins
4/5
Classic 90’s album right here. Haven’t heard this one all the way through in years. Still holds up 4.5 ⭐️
Depeche Mode
2/5
How many Depeche Mode albums do these cunts think I need to hear before I die? One was plenty 😒
Missy Elliott
3/5
Never much cared for the Missy Elliot singles that made it out into the world (except Gossip Folks…holy shit the kids in that video were dancing machines), but I did enjoy this album. She was ahead of her time as far as raunchy lady rappers go, but man did she miss the mark with that intro. “You don't see Bill Gates and Donald Trump arguing with each other 'Cause both of them got paper and they got better shit to do.” Man….I fucking wish that was case, Missy. I really, really, do 😔
The Byrds
3/5
It was enjoyable listen if you’re into that late 60’s, Summer of Love, Hippie/Folk, Chill Rock sound. 3.5 ⭐️
Wilco
4/5
What a great album. One of the few from Wilco’s collection that I don’t own a physical copy of, though I did have a digital copy on my old IPod courtesy of the Indianapolis Public Library. I tend to lean more towards their indie/experimental stuff (Summerteeth, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, The Whole Love…not you, A Ghost Is Born😒) than their alt country tunes, personally, but I still really enjoyed this. Doesn’t linger for a double. Every song belongs. All killer. No filler. 4.5 ⭐️
Dusty Springfield
3/5
Nice enough. No strong feelings either way. Just a pleasant little listen.
Dire Straits
4/5
Another one I own a physical copy of. Worth a listen for Sultans of Swing alone, but this is a solid album through and through.
Neil Young
2/5
Oh great…yet another Neil Young album. What’s next? More Bob Dylan? Maybe another fucking Techno/EDM album 😒. This shit was ok but unnecessary. 100% could have gone my whole life without hearing this.
Judas Priest
5/5
Fuck, YES! Judas Priest rock the hell out. Of course I own a physical copy of this classic. This album is great. Not every album has to be some deep philosophical retrospect that makes me feel like I’m falling English class. Sometimes you just want to crank that stereo up to 11 and bang your fucking head. Got a chance to see Judas Priest and Sabaton last year. Great fucking show. Mad respect to these guys for still crushing it in their 70’s. I’m gonna spin my copy of Screaming For Vengeance next 🤘🏻🤘🏻
The Jesus And Mary Chain
3/5
Not bad. One of those late 80’s early 90’s bridge albums that doesn’t quite fully fit into either decade’s style. I can see this being well known among record store clerks and with the “cool kids” who smoke cigarettes and hate anything popular. 3.5 ⭐️
Kendrick Lamar
3/5
Personally, I prefer older rap with samples, but I get the copyright dweebs put a stop to that. Kendrick Lamar has been growing on me since the Super Bowl. Bonus points for him hating Drake. Fuck that dude. 3.5⭐️
Neil Young
2/5
They should really call this the 956 Albums To Hear Before You Die Plus Neil Young’s Whole Fucking Discography. Christ all mighty, how many of this cunt’s albums do I really need to hear????
Malcolm McLaren
2/5
This shit was lame in the 80’s-ist way possible. Something about it just feels off too. Like it was cobbled together from bits and pieces of songs that were left sitting around a random studio’s cutting room floor.
Fatboy Slim
1/5
Bailed at The Weekend Starts Here…that shit was giving me a headache. Probably would be better with drugs 💊💊💊😵💫
R.E.M.
3/5
Honestly surprised I liked this one. REM has never been high on my list. Losing My Religion, Everybody Hurts, and Man on the Moon are immediate station changes for me, but this was pleasant enough. 2.5 ⭐️ rounding up for the unexpected enjoyment.
Cat Stevens
2/5
Went in not expecting to like this at all. It was folksy but not overly so. 2.5⭐️ rounding down because it was still more folk than I care to listen to.
The Offspring
5/5
Such a great album. Surprised it’s on the list, if I’m being honest, but if you got room for 2 dozen Neil Young albums, why not a little 90’s commercial punk? This one spent a lot of time inside my original 1 disc CD player. Offspring & Rancid opened the door to more punk exploration for me, which wasn’t an easy endeavor in the pre-internet days. All killer. No filler. This shit still holds up. Bad Habit & It’ll Be A Long Time are my favorites.
Jamiroquai
4/5
Went in only knowing Virtual Insanity and that song from Napoleon Dynamite. I liked it. Funky, Jazzy, Futuristic. Maybe a little corny, but I like corn too.
Aerosmith
4/5
Another one I own a physical copy of. Such a great album. Personally, I’m more of an 80’s-90’s Aerosmith guy, but the classic stuff is fantastic too. Fizzles out a bit with the last two songs so 4.5 ⭐️
The Beach Boys
2/5
I always assumed I really knew The Beach Boys, but what the hell was this thing? Thought I might have come across some jag off fucking around on YouTube, but I double checked. Nope….this shit is just weird. I guess I should have seen that coming from the depressing Blue Period looking album cover. Might have been alright if I wasn’t expecting a fucking Beach Boys sounding album.
Led Zeppelin
4/5
Led Zeppelin tends to be hit or miss for me. This one was more hits.
Frank Zappa
4/5
Another one I own a physical copy of. I love me some Frank Zappa. He is weird in all the best ways. Peaches in Regalia fucking rules. This album fucking rules. 4.5 ⭐️ because I have to be in a Zappa mood.
Sleater-Kinney
3/5
Angsty, rough around the edges, abrasive 90’s chick band. Yes, please. Personally, I’m more of a Veruca Salt or The Breeders guy, but no complaints from me here. 3.5⭐️
Pere Ubu
2/5
Well, this was certainly something. I kind of dug the band, but what the hell was that singer up to? Does that cunt really sound like that or was he just trying to be “artistic”? This is like a K-Mart version of a Talking Heads album.
Massive Attack
2/5
Whatever the hell this is, it’s not for me. Felt like elevator music for a department store I definitely can’t afford to be in.
Eminem
5/5
Man, this one takes me back. I haven’t listened to this thing in ages. Fucking great album. Dope beats. Sick flows. Fun skits. Brutal diss tracks. Lyrics that made old ladies clutch their pearls. The good old days, before the PC Police started canceling people for using words they don’t like. Believe it or not, you can listen to angry music with vile lyrics and not think it’s an endorsement of that behavior. Well, you can if you’re not a complete cunt.
Kanye West
4/5
Solid album. Personally, I prefer College Drop Out, Late Registration, and Graduation, but this one is a banger too. Shame the twat went crazy. That CTE is a mother fucker. 4.5⭐️
ZZ Top
4/5
I mean, I like ZZ Top as much as the next guy. La Grange fucking slaps and those beards were hot 🔥🧔🏼♂️, but there had better be a god damn Iron Maiden album down the road if you got room for TWO fucking spots for ZZ Top on this list.
Yes
5/5
Fuck, yes…Yes! I own several physical Yes albums, this one included. Fragile, Close to the Edge, or Relayer are probably still my favorites, but this a terrific album. Prog Rock can get weird, and that’s sort of the point, but this album perfectly tip toes that line where rock ends and prog begins. I always found Yes to be one of the more easily digestible prog rock bands because their long stuff never seems to linger, and they never go overboard with goofball instruments, I’m looking your way pan flute lovers.
Dwight Yoakam
1/5
Yee-Haw….more like Yee-Naw 😒 Bailed half way through the second song. Country & Western just isn’t for me.
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
3/5
It’s a fine little late 60’s early 70’s folksy, rock, hippy album. Not my favorite. Nothing I hated either. 2.5⭐️ rounding up.
Songhoy Blues
3/5
No clue what was going on here with this album, but it was pleasant enough to listen to. 2.5⭐️ rounding up
Paul Revere & The Raiders
4/5
Not bad. Solid 60’s rock album with a little splash of surfer/psych. Sounds like something that would be in a Tarantino flick. That album cover photo is lame as shit, tho, and the disinterested dude in the bottom right kind of looks like Dave Coulier. 3.5⭐️ rounding up despite that cover 😒
David Bowie
3/5
Not as good as the last Bowie album we got assigned, but I enjoyed it for the most part. Weird fucking guy, Bowie was.
Bauhaus
2/5
Kind of like a European knock off The Dead Kennedys mixed with a splash of The Cure. I guess this is probably the equivalent of the Talking Heads for 80’s dorky goth kids. Not my favorite. 2.5⭐️ rounding down
Nine Inch Nails
2/5
My brother was big into NIN. I haven’t heard this thing in decades…and now I remember why. The hits are good. March of Pigs is great, but the rest of the album is some noisy ass dork shit.
Aretha Franklin
4/5
Solid. Love me some old school MoTown. 4.5⭐️
Buck Owens
1/5
I tried. It looked like an old timey country album, and of fucking course it was. The first two songs were tolerable, but that 3rd one really put me over the edge. Less Country & Western. More Heavy Metal. Please & Thank You.
Steely Dan
4/5
Smoother than Diddy’s baby oil stash. 4.5⭐️
Underworld
1/5
Sweet Christ, how many fucking Techno albums are on this thing??? I thought to myself “Well, this one is only 8 tracks long, at least it’s short”, but fuck me if this damn thing still doesn’t clock in over the hour mark 😒. Maybe this shit slaps if your online handle is Zero Cool and the feds won’t let you touch a computer again until your 18th birthday or if you got a bunch of molly in your pocket, but if you’re a normal person it’s kinda noisy & repetitive. I bailed after 4 songs which was still 43 god damn agonizing minutes of R2D2 noises.
David Bowie
4/5
Bowie is a weird dude who makes weird music. Solid album of spacey tunes. Rounding up a whole ⭐️ because Heroes is a fantastic tune.
Coldplay
5/5
Fuck yes! Love me some Coldplay. Had to pop on my old CD copy of this terrific album. I don’t care what the haters say, Coldplay is always a joy to listen to. Which sounds weird because most of their shit is sort of sad and depressing, but they always seem to squeeze one or two upbeat tracks onto their albums to turn those frowns upside down. Was lucky enough to catch these guys live back around 09-10. The only band that’s even come close to matching the positive vibes of a Flaming Lips show.
3/5
Ehh, it’s not terrible. I wasn’t a big Limp Bizkit guy when this shit was new. The fans seemed to be obnoxious cunts for the most part, and if I wanted angry music, Slayer was already right fucking there. However, after watching that Woodstock 99 documentary and seeing how much Moby hated these guys, I like them a bit more now. All that being said, the album was decent enough. Not a fan. Not a hater anymore.
Astor Piazzolla
1/5
I’m not sure what I expected from a tango album, but it wasn’t shitty 70’s sci fi movie background music. Felt like I was on The Planet of The Apes getting chased through a corn field for some of these songs. This shit sucked. It gave me a headache. Bailed after a few tracks. If I want accordion music, I’ll stick to Weird Al.
Carpenters
2/5
This shit is exceptionally lame. Not terrible, but just really, really, really lame. Didn’t care much for the Help cover either. Maybe one or two songs sprinkled into a radio broadcast would be fine, but a whole album of this was too much for me.
Janis Joplin
4/5
Man, Janis Joplin was great. Personally, I’m more of a Big Brother and The Holding Company guy, but she’s gonna fit in nicely anywhere. 4.5⭐️
N.W.A.
4/5
N.W.A., fuck Yes! Might as well Fuck The Police, while we’re at it too. This shit really holds up well for how old it is. Tho, it does fizzle out a bit with last few tracks. 4.5⭐️
Elton John
3/5
Elton John is entertaining enough but not usually my first choice when playing albums. Surprised the first song was leaning so far into the prog realm. 3.5⭐️
Black Sabbath
5/5
Fucking great album. Supernaut is a jam. So is Cornucopia, and Under The Sun…the whole album really. Was lucky enough to catch both Ozzy and a reunited Black Sabbath at OzzFest way back in 1997. R.I.P. to the prince of darkness. Hope you’re partying it up in hell with the devil shooting Hitler in the dick with paintballs, giving atomic wedges to Ronald Reagan and whatever else cool shit they got to do down there 👹🤘🏻🤘🏻
Grateful Dead
5/5
Great fucking album, right here. Friend of the Devil is probably my favorite Dead song. Of course I own a physical copy of this gem, and with Black Sabbath being yesterday’s pick, this is the first back to back 5⭐️ reviews for me since we started this thing. I peaked at some of the other reviews and saw all the 1⭐️ reviews from a bunch of ass wipes. Bro, if you can’t get into the Dead, that’s a you problem…or you need some drugs and a second listen.
John Lennon
3/5
It’s a fine, all be it a bit depressing, little album. The Beatles, for me anyway, were always greater than the sum of their individual parts, and most of their solo works tend to be hit or miss for me. Being more of a Paul guy, I found this to be about what I expected. The hits are great, the rest is filler for me. Still solid for filler 3.5⭐️
The xx
1/5
This shit sucks. Bailed half way. I have no idea who decided to put this thing on here, but they’re a fucking dork. Sounded like background music that would be playing at caffeine free vegan coffee house
Kendrick Lamar
4/5
I dug it. Kind of jazzy/funky for a rap album. Was giving me Thundercat vibes. 4.5⭐️
James Brown
4/5
The sound quality for a live album from the 60’s was impressive. James Brown doesn’t disappoint either.
Jungle Brothers
2/5
Ehhh, it’s ok. Late 80’s early 90’s hip hop can be a little underwhelming compared to what’s been happening these days. Not bad for what it is. 2.5⭐️ That album cover, tho 👀👀👀
Bill Evans Trio
3/5
Not bad for some Charlie Brown ass music.
Cocteau Twins
3/5
Ehh, it’s ok. Like if 10,000 Maniacs and Bjork did a collaboration album 2.5⭐️
Marvin Gaye
3/5
Not bad, but I was hoping for a bit more razzle dazzle. That album cover, tho, is something else 3.5⭐️
Fred Neil
2/5
Ehh, it’s ok I guess. Kind of like the soundtrack for a PG13 Tarantino flick 2.5⭐️
50 Cent
4/5
Can’t say I’ve ever actually listened to this album before, but I’ve heard most of these songs. In Da Club was fucking everywhere. Solid album with dope beats and a bunch of bangers. 4.5⭐️
The Temptations
3/5
Solid album. Was expecting a few more upbeat songs from the Temptations, but enjoyable none the less. 3.5⭐️
Foo Fighters
4/5
Honestly, I wasn’t a big Foo Fighters fan until I caught them live like 10 years ago. Holy shit, were they great. The energy was insane. Been a fan ever since. Solid album.
Public Enemy
4/5
Not bad for an older rap album. Sadly the topics are still relevant, but those beats are a bit dated. Enjoyed it.
Heaven 17
2/5
Ehh, it’s fine I guess. Generic, middle of the road, 80’s, synth heavy, new wave. It was not terrible, but I was underwhelmed, given the nature of this list. Certainly there’s better albums than this out there.
The Band
3/5
It’s solid 60’s album. The Weight is a great song, but I wish Atlantic City was on this one. 3.5 ⭐️
Stevie Wonder
4/5
A joy to listen to. All be it, a long a joy. 4.5⭐️
Adele
4/5
Solid album. She really has some pipes on her. I’ll wager sad ladies fucking LOVE this one. I enjoyed it. 3.5⭐️
Love
3/5
Kind of a strange mix of 60’s psych and folk. 3.5⭐️
Primal Scream
3/5
Well this was an odd one. There’s a lot going on, but it somehow kinda works. Sort of an early 90’s mashup of what felt like The Rolling Stones & U2 but with a splash of industrial alternative rock and a pinch of Radiohead….plus a gospel choir sort of thing on one track. There had to be drugs involved. A bit on the long side, but the differing style every other song kept my interest. 3.5⭐️
Barry Adamson
1/5
At times, this felt like this could have been the radio station / soundtrack to an earlier Grand Theft Auto game…before they started using real songs. Then it got weird and turned into more of a film score for a low budget 70’s sci-fi flick. I bailed half way.
Deep Purple
3/5
It was alright. Nothing I am too eager to play again. Nothing I was in a hurry to be over. 3.5
The Cure
2/5
Jesus Christ, how many Cure albums do we need on this thing? Mondays are depressing enough already without 35 minutes of this shit, and it’s another one without any of the hits, so we are probably due for even more fucking Cure 😒
2/5
Kind of giving me Thievery Corporation vibes. I’d imagine this shit was popular in expensive European Wine Bars. Not my favorite, but I didn’t hate it…except that last song which was a bit noisy
The Triffids
2/5
Pretty lame, Milhouse
Seriously, who the fuck is like, “Bro, you got to hear this generic ass, Australian, adult contempo album from the 80’s before you die.”
The United States Of America
4/5
That goofy ass circus sounding song started the album off poorly, in my opinion, but I dug the 60’s acid / psych sound for the most part. I can see this being big with avant-garde artsy types like Andy Warhol and his crew of drugged out weirdos. 3.5⭐️ rounding up because I like drugs and weirdos
Miles Davis
4/5
Not really a jazz aficionado, but I dug it.
Funkadelic
5/5
“Sorry Gut man, no can do. The grandmaster of Funk descends on the city at 8 o’clock, man, and we will be there.”
“Mersh, you hate Punk.”
“Funk, Gutter. Funk…George Clinton. Parliament Funkadelic…dude, aren’t you a music major?”
I own a physical copy of this bad bitch. Maggot Brain has to be one of the best all time opening tracks. Not a bad song to be heard on this one. This album and one little binger will really brighten up your day.
Haircut 100
3/5
Super 80’s. This is the nondescript 80’s style background music I would expect to be in something like one of the Police Academy flicks or Weekend At Bernie’s. Admittedly, it was pretty catchy and an enjoyable listen. Love those horns 3.5⭐️
Madonna
3/5
It’s an 80’s Madonna album.
Pretenders
4/5
I dug it more than I expected going in only really knowing Brass In Pocket and Back On The Chain Gang. 3.5 rounding up.
Portishead
2/5
Ehhh, not my favorite. It’s like if Fiona Apple got herself a synth and became even more depressed.
Talking Heads
4/5
Solid album. Once In A Lifetime is an all time banger. 4.5⭐️
Dagmar Krause
1/5
Oh hell no. Fuck this shit and whichever ass hat thought I needed to hear some weird cabaret style show tunes. I bailed after a song and a half. 🖕🏻🖕🏻0⭐️
The Smiths
2/5
It’s fine I suppose, but Morrissey is a bit of a cunt.
Dinosaur Jr.
4/5
Love me some Dinosaur Jr. These guys have just been cranking out solid albums forever and never seem to have gotten the props they deserve outside of their small cult following. Loud and abrasive, but still melodic and jammy. 4.5⭐️
*The Peter Frampton cover as part of the Bonus Tracks absolutely shreds, but man those vocals needed some work
**I enjoyed the Just Like Heaven bonus track cover, but Goldfinger’s cover is still much better.
R.E.M.
3/5
Once again, REM surprising me with an album full of songs better than their radio hits. I’ll still take Weird Al’s Spam over Stand, but this was an overall enjoyable early morning listen. 3.5⭐️
Marvin Gaye
4/5
Great album full of soul 4.5⭐️
The Chemical Brothers
1/5
Oh great, another techno album that’s just as fucking annoying as the other fucking techno albums we already got. Bailed after 6 minutes.
Finley Quaye
2/5
I typically listen to these on YouTube. Someone posted this full album over a year ago. It had only 400 views, and I can see why nobody else has been foolish enough to seek this thing out. Some songs were alright I guess (I dug the horns), but something about that Jamaican-ish accent was giving me Mr. Nice Guy vibes.
Queen
5/5
Queen is great, and this is a great fucking album. Stone Cold Crazy is one of my favorite deep cut Queen songs. No complaints.
The Rolling Stones
3/5
It’s fine. Not a big Stones guy. 3.5⭐️
Elliott Smith
3/5
Not bad. Pretty chill, sort of depressing little indie album.
Massive Attack
2/5
Perhaps it was just the big lunch my fat ass ate, but this made me very, very, sleepy. 2.5⭐️
Coldplay
5/5
Fuck yes, more Coldplay. Had to dust off my CD collection and fire up my old 3 disc changer for this melancholic classic. Still holds up. 🖕🏻for the haters
David Bowie
4/5
Artsy & Weird, but in all the best ways. 4.5⭐️
Al Green
5/5
Fantastic album for getting busy 😉
Jimmy Smith
3/5
I guess it’s fine if you’re into jazz and old timey organs. Not in a hurry to play it again. Didn’t turn it off. 2.5⭐️
Fairport Convention
2/5
I guess I like the music (particularly the songs leaning towards prog), but that singer lady can fuck right off back to whichever Renaissance Fair they found her at.
Beach House
3/5
Not a bad little indie rock album. Mellow and spacey. Nice easy start to the day. Cover art is pretty low effort 😒
Miles Davis
3/5
I’m hardly a jazz aficionado, but I dug this. Felt like I could have been in The Thomas Crown Affair stealing some art. 3.5⭐️
Ramones
4/5
Smithers, have The Rolling Stones killed.
But sir, those aren’t…
Do as I say!
Another one I own a physical copy of. What a great album. Ramones rock the fuck out, but only in 2 minute bursts. 4.5⭐️
Michael Jackson
4/5
No complaints, other than Bad has been replaced in my memory with Weird Al’s Fat, and the Alien Ant Farm version of Smooth Criminal is superior to the original. Highlight is clearly Man In The Mirror 😍
4.5⭐️
Hot Chip
2/5
Marge, I’m confused. Is this a good album or a crappy album?
It’s an album. That’s enough.
2.5⭐️
AC/DC
4/5
Solid Rock & Roll, right here. Do I enjoy bands that are constantly putting out new and different music that evolves over time? Yes. Do I enjoy AC/DC who mastered their craft and cranked out a bunch of similar albums that all rock the fuck out? You’re god damn right, I do 🤘🏻🤘🏻. I wish Metallica had stuck to the AC/DC formula instead of evolving their way to Load and St. Anger 😒
*Gwar’s cover of If You Want Blood is superior
Air
2/5
I guess it’s fine, I suppose music, but it’s not really my style. Probably be a better listen high as shit vs drinking coffee and reviewing insurance claims 😕 2.5⭐️
The Rolling Stones
3/5
Not the biggest Stones guy, but I liked it. Always thought the real zipper on the cover was kind of neat. Must have heard Brown Sugar a thousand times before today, and while I always knew it wasn’t about sprucing up a bowl of oatmeal, I never realized, exactly just what kind of fucking was going down in that song 😧
3.5⭐️
Elvis Presley
3/5
I guess it’s ok. Never was much of an Elvis guy, and I didn’t recognize any of these songs. Sounded more like a lounge singer or a crooner. 2.5⭐️ rounding up
LTJ Bukem
1/5
No fucking way I’m listening to two fucking hours of this Matrix Ass Rave Music without any drugs. Lasted about 30 minutes, and that was plenty. 1.5⭐️
Arctic Monkeys
3/5
It’s a fine little turn of the century rock album on par with The Strokes or The Fratellis. No complaints.
Supertramp
3/5
It’s like a prog/yacht rock combo that feels super duper 70’s. An enjoyable listen.
Fats Domino
3/5
It’s about as good as 50’s music gets. Man am I glad I wasn’t around in the 50’s, tho. 2.5⭐️ rounding up, because us fattys got to stick together
Sufjan Stevens
4/5
Turn of the century Indie Rock right here. That Chicago song was blowing up my MySpace along with tunes from The Shins, Margot And The Nuclear So And Sos, and Peter Bjorn & John. Artsy, quirky, and a bit depressing, but that was the style at the time. 4.5⭐️
The Mothers Of Invention
4/5
Love me some Zappa, but I need to be in the mood to get a little weird, and it got REALLY weird towards the end. 4.5⭐️
Beatles
5/5
Such a lovely album, and one I own a physical copy of. Revolver is my favorite Beatles album, but Rubber Soul isn’t far behind. Favorite tracks: Nowhere Man, In My Life, If I Needed Someone & Drive My Car *beep beep*
Public Image Ltd.
1/5
Look, I’m not above using snazzy packaging to sell albums. Master P’s Ghetto D had that bright ass orange case, and that shit was Fire, but this ain’t no mother fucking P…just was some artsy, avant garde, new wave, noisy ass bull shit. I bailed after a few tracks.
Jorge Ben Jor
4/5
Do I have any idea what’s going on here? No. Do I love how funky it is? Fuck yes!
Bruce Springsteen
2/5
For whatever reason, I’ve never been able to get into The Boss. Probably because his music feels pretentious and theatery. This shit is Rock for people who read The New Yorker and call movies “films”. 2.5⭐️
Saint Etienne
2/5
Oh great, another spacey european style techno album 🍑💨
Megadeth
5/5
Dave Mustaine is a bit of a cunt, but Megadeth fucking shreds 🤘🏻🤘🏻Such a cool album cover too. Vic Rattlehead meets The X Files
Sinead O'Connor
3/5
I liked it. Not really my style, and I prefer 10,000 Maniacs if I’m in a mood for these kind of tunes. Bonus points for Nothing Compares To You and her giving the pope a 🖕🏻on SNL
The Allman Brothers Band
3/5
I enjoy the Allman Brothers, and I enjoy Jam Bands, but even for a dude who likes both of those things, this dragged a bit.
The Smiths
3/5
Morrissey is quite the cunt, but it’s not bad.
Public Image Ltd.
1/5
How many god awful Public Image albums does the twat who made this list think we need to hear before we die? I was ready for the grave about 5 minutes in 😒
Radiohead
3/5
There are better Radiohead albums out there than this, but it’s not as bad as the last one they gave us.
Les Rythmes Digitales
1/5
Pretty lame, Milhouse 😒
The Doors
4/5
I said, "Who are you?"
He said, “Jim Morrison. I'm a dead rock star."
I said, "I'm not familiar with
your work." So he played The Doors.
I said, "You're like a crooner in the rock milieu, which I like."
Cyndi Lauper
3/5
Solid 80’s Synth Pop, but Weird Al’s Girls Just Want To Have Lunch is the superior version 🙋♀️🥪💁♀️🥗🙆♀️🍜
Gotan Project
2/5
Maybe it’s all those Piergoi Festivals or maybe it’s just the Weird Al fan in me, but I’m a sucker for a little splash of accordion 🪗
2.5⭐️
The Yardbirds
4/5
I enjoyed the variety of this album. Solid mix of psych & blues rock. Neat cover art too. 3.5⭐️
Marilyn Manson
4/5
Liked this more than I had expected. Saw Manson at an Oz Fest back in 90’s and enjoyed the live act. Maybe I just didn’t like the radio hits or all those goth dorks. 3.5⭐️ rounding down because there was little too much filler
Otis Redding
4/5
I enjoyed it. Who am I to give notes to Otis fucking Redding
Sigur Rós
3/5
I guess it’s ok. Kind of like Bon Iver meets Band Of Horses. Could have trimmed a little off that run time. I also have no idea what this dude was singing about, but my guess is something sleepy 🥱
Robert Wyatt
4/5
Pretty fucking weird, but I dug it. 3.5⭐️
Liz Phair
4/5
Love me some 90’s chick rock. Personally, I’d take Alanis, Veruca Salt, The Breeders, or Natalie Merchant with or without the 10,000 Maniacs, but I liked this too. 3.5⭐️
Janet Jackson
2/5
“Shit, that girl wider than all outsides. Talking about she looks like Janet Jackson.”
“Oooooo, she didn’t go there”
“Yeah. Bitch got out the car looking more like Freddy Jackson”
I guess it’s a fine early 90’s R&B album 2.5⭐️
Dusty Springfield
4/5
What a lovely little album.
Aretha Franklin
4/5
Great album. No notes for the Queen Of Soul. 4.5⭐️
Turbonegro
4/5
I dug it. Sort of a punk/hard rock/metal-ish album. 4.5⭐️
Penguin Cafe Orchestra
3/5
Kind of weird, but I suppose that was to be expected given that album cover 👀
David Bowie
3/5
Not bad. A bit haunting at times. Very artsy, even for Bowie. 3.5⭐️
Crosby, Stills & Nash
4/5
David Crosby, you’re my hero.
Oh, you like my music?
You’re a musician???
Liked it more than I expected. Suite Judy Blue Eyes is fantastic, and the album wasn’t overly folksy. Glad I saved this one for a snowy Sunday morning with a hot cup of coffee, a book, and a fat green bowl. ☕️📖😶🌫️
Pink Floyd
5/5
Man do I love this album. Every up and coming stoner owns a copy of this at one point in time. A perfect album when accompanied by some incense, a lava lamp, and a fat ol’ doobie.
Scott Walker
1/5
It’s like Frank Sinatra, but if he was a dweeb who drank decaffeinated coffee and eat gluten free vegan cookies instead of drinking booze and smoking cigarettes.
Beastie Boys
4/5
Not the biggest Beastie Boys fan, but this was a fun listen.
Def Leppard
4/5
I’m more of a Poison guy, but this is still some solid 80’s music 🤘🏻🤘🏻
Dolly Parton
1/5
I know she’s like the nicest person ever, but I do not care for Country & Western music. Bailed after 4 songs.
Beck
4/5
Solid album, but if you’re looking for sad & melancholic Beck, Morning Phase is better than this one.
Maxwell
2/5
What is this? The soundtrack to Cinemax after midnight????
Rage Against The Machine
5/5
Another one I own a physical copy of. Fucking great album. Personally, I prefer Evil Empire but no complaints here. Was lucky enough to have caught Rage with Run The Jewels a few years back. Great fucking show. Lousy afterwards.
Jeff Beck
3/5
A bit too bluesy for my palate, but I enjoyed it. 3.5⭐️
Lorde
3/5
I own a copy because I like Lorde, and this is a solid mellow morning cup of coffee and a bowl album, but Pure Heroine best be on this list or there will be hell to pay. 3.5⭐️
The Band
4/5
I feel like if you made a song called “Up On Crippled Creek” these days, the internet would lose its shit. Solid listen, but a bit too country folksy for me at times. 3.5⭐️
Forgot how much I disliked Stuck In A Moment You Can’t Get Out Of & Walk On, but I had no trouble recalling my hatred of Elevation 😒. That has got to be the worst song about New York ever made by a band from Ireland. Not unlistenable, but this entire album is lame. 1.5⭐️
Joni Mitchell
2/5
Ehh, she’s talented for sure, but I just never cared much for Joni Mitchell. Still don’t