Punishing Kiss

It's like a soundtrack from a bad musical you were forced to watch in middle-school. I don't get it.

Not for me

Wat een zeikstem. Die dreigroschopener is al helemaal matig met die vage tekst. Met moeite afgeluisterd allemaal. Tussen 1 en 2 sterren

Why is an album of unremarkable covers something you must listen to before you die? What’s worse is that they are songs by Elvis Costello and Tom Waits

I guess the actual music is okay but the vocals are way too dramatic. Yikes.

Never heard of this lady or album so was interested to hear the album through without any preconcieved ideas. I’ve recently got into smooth type jazz and bought albums by Diane Krall and Norah Jones etc so hoped this album would live up to them. It failed miserably I’m afraid. To my ears just MOR muzak. Type of thing I believe (but never experienced) your host would put on in the background at dinner parties. This would give me stomach cramps!

This album is just silly. Trying to sound artsy and just silly. ‘If sex were an Olympic sport, we would win the gold ‘? Please

Blech Broadway sounding covers. None of this works. Terrible.

Not my jam

This is awful!! I would like her voice, but the songs are so terrible that I can’t even enjoy the timbre and tone of her voice.

Broadway in the 60's comes to mind combined with music from James Bond themes of the 60's! Makes me also think of Liza Minelli and to some degree Barbara Streisand (although not as talented). This is not my thing, decent to good songs but not great interpretations. Really difficult listen. Favorite Song: Couldn't You Keep that to Yourself Rating: 1

Welcome to dinner theatre! Tonight's performers are covering a wide variety of songs from masterful songwriters and musicians. Unfortunately, they will be performed in an extremely corporate-y, uninspired and hammy way, almost as if performed for the soundtrack of a knock-off James Bond film. Scope J was interesting, but at that point I was too many drinks at a cabaret in Vegas to care.

Münster representation! This album is an odd choice. Shmaltzy and very dated covers of some (mostly) excellent songs. Pure Grammy bait if you ask me. But also: there's something quintessentially German about the way high camp is presented so seriously. It's very competent, but artless, kind of inoffensive to a fault. I'm not feelin' it! Die Dreigroschenoper: Tango Ballad actually made me feel like I was losing my mind. 😵‍💫 Favourite track: Passionate Fight, Couldn't You Keep That To Yourself, Scope J

Sounds like someone gave your drunk aunt who thinks she is a cougar a microphone.

I have no idea why this album exists with the people who exist on it. A bunch of great songwriters who helmed songs for this singer who must be famous for some reason? It is very dramatic/theatrical. Ute's got a good voice which fits that style though. I like the case continues (specifically that trippy string part in the chorus). There's some jazzy elements throughout the record (passionate fight) but then it also at times sounds like it may have been produced by a massive attack style band with the dark electronics. It is a little much to be honest.

I had hopes that this Lemper lady could play balance to the other names on the liner notes but this was exactly as bad as I feared it would be given the "talent" that got their hands on it. It's every bit as pretentious as a Glass joint, as fake as a Costello joint, bland as a Divine Comedy joint, and the lyrics reek of self-important nonsense like every Waits or Cave joint. It's like a who's who of my worst-rated albums. So, yeah. I hated it.

She has a nice enough voice. The music is well played and arranged. And yet, this stinks. Comes together like bad Broadway. Why was this made? I will never listen to this again. Cannot get through a whole song. This is not good.

Punishing Kiss? This can’t be good. And the cover art? Not a promising sign. How did it chart? #104 on the UK albums chart, nothing elsewhere. But maybe the music will be a pleasant surprise. Nope. At best this comes off as the score to an off broadway drama. Or perhaps the soundtrack to a 2nd wave animated full length movie…. But not up to Disney’s level. Something deep and dark, exploring the depths of the dark human spirit…. But animated. You know, the dark dichotomy of a “Punishing Kiss”. I guess there are people who like this stuff, but I’m not one of them. The vocals are “overacted”, as the singers seem to try and REALLY stress the seriousness of the lyrics. And the lyrics are pedestrian, at best. Musically, it’s well recorded, clean, lots of instrumentation. But the overall impression is as overblown as the vocal stylings. It all takes itself so very, VERY seriously. I like the MNE reviewer who called this “madly irritating, written-to-order art-school digression.” I don’t know, maybe it’s just all too deep for me, but this just leaves me cold. I don’t give many 1’s, but this gets one. I didn’t hate it, but the whole thing irritated me, and by the the time the last 10+ minute song started, irritation was approaching “pissed off”. So I bailed. 1/5

Didn't make it far but really liked nothing about this.

One time I listened to Idina Menzel perform random songs in a park. This album is like if that performance and Astrud Gilberto's Beach Samba had a baby. A very boring baby. I would love to know how exactly this album came to be. Who decided this was a good idea? This album is getting worse the deeper I get. I give up, I will not be listening to the final 4 minutes of the last song.

Not good.

55/1001/. Man, I tried... I had to jump around from one bad 007 theme to another. Is this a serious album? Ute does have a talented voice... but - I cannot see how a producer didn't just say "What. Stop. Go Home"

Yeah, this misses for me more than it hits. There's a few flashes of brilliance, but most of it feels over-the-top. I couldn't even finish the last song.

Not for me

1.4 - on paper I should love this, but fucking hell I really just disliked it. Hate her voice and felt like it was meant for some musical film or something.

I don’t know that I had to listen to that before I die

Guff.

This one really does feel like a punishment to me. Can't even get to the end

Oof. Absolutely not. First album on here that I couldn't get through.

A bit too musical and dramatic singing to me.

Major “Miranda Sings” vibes but I don’t think she was trying to be funny. Wow. That was rough.

Ugh, this started off mediocre and quickly deteriorated to bad. I love musicals so this should be right up my alley but it is not. It sounds like a collection of musical numbers that got rejected from the good musicals. The songs are all over the place and I didn't think any of them were particularly good. "Tango Ballad" might have been the worst offender, where I needed to skip it due to the vocals. I initially thought "The Case continous" might be an ok number until the line "If sex was an olympic sport we would've won the gold" which is so cringy it sounds like something Zapp Branningan from futurama would say. The more I think about it the more confused I get about how this album made it on this list. Other one stars I've given have just not been my cup of tea or I could at least see they did something different. While this might not be as bad as other one star albums, and some songs are even ok, this is bland which might be worse than being bad and different.

Ugh! Shite! Who needs any form of talent eh? Middle class masterbation

I didn't really understand any of this

The Divine Comedy *and* Costello? This is going to be awful. ... Yep. Awful.

This was so up-its-own-ass it was crazy. Cabaret is a unique genre to cover on this list but maybe not be terrible?

This sounds like a Broadway musical gone wrong, terribly wrong. It's a shame because they had some interesting things going on.

Totally worthless and actively detrimental to music.

"I mean it's alright" - Cupcake Lover

😑

Alright, I was preparing to have to defend another record that you lot were overreacting to because it’s an atypical entry to the list and doesn’t fit neatly into some weird box of preconceived notions that you cling to. Then in the second track, this line: “If sex was an Olympic sport, we would have won the gold”. Add multiple songs from Elvis Costello and Tom Waits to the list and I’m left not seeing many redeemable qualities here. I’ll probably listen through to the Phillips Glass track, because I love me some minimalism, but after that, there’s no reason for me to continue. I’ll probably listen to Stereolab’s “Dots and Loops”, which should be on this list. Have I mentioned that before? Oh, yeah…only about 100 fucking times.

Well, that was……..interesting. Great voice but the whole album felt like a theatre person trying to sing their favourite songs their way. Extremely difficult to enjoy 2/10

Simply can't imagine a lifetime in which I must listen to this before I die.

#20: I don’t not like this. Its ok I guess, but not something I'll rush back to. Kind of boring with a beat. One of those records you see in market stalls that no body buys. The Case Continues was the best song for me.

boring elevator music, not even good singing, tough to get through even

Not for me. Beautiful voice and like Neil Hannon accompanying but its a fairly bland record.

Why? Why is this album included? It is not good. Is it because several other artists wrote songs for her to sing? It was a struggle. It didn't start off too bad but then it just got progressively weirder. Also no need for the super weird ten minute song at the end. Stay away.

Ugh.

Not for me

I ALREADY RATED THIS YOU IDIOTS

oh my god this was AWFUL. So theatrical and extra and genuinely I have no idea what I just listened to. This is one of the strangest albums and not in a good way.

Struggling very very hard to at least respect the time and effort involved in putting a grand package like this together ... ... ...ok no but the schmaltz is immeasurable and as I suffer very very slowly through song after song and try to find anything to enjoy I think "of course nick cave has *something* to do with this" albeit obliquely. It's ironic that I save my 1s for the unlistenable gargling-up-phlegm sounds of Nick Cave or low-fi talentless alt-hacks recording their angsty attitude on 4-tracks while middle aged white dudes from Chicago fall all over themselves writing 2000 words trying to explain to their co-worker in the food review department how this THIS is the past present and future of what music should be... ...have I gone off-track? I shouldn't feel bad - spend a million dollars on the greatest mixers/producers and musicians and this is the drek that's produced - it's actually quite hilarious. I won't put the punishment solely on Ute Lemper since she apparently didn't write them but these are some of the worst *songs* I've ever heard. #4 Tango Ballad I'm looking at you especially. This album makes me want to re-evaluate my interest in music altogether. This is tragically, shockingly, comically, and definitively awful. 1/10 1 star.

did you guys ever see "Loqueesha"? there's no reason you should. it's a very bad movie with a very bad premise. but, like, if you watch it (maybe because you, like me, are an appreciator of bad movies), you see that, despite having an awful script, no stars, and a terrible "actor" in the lead role ... the film still seems technically very competent. it's no Marvel movie, but it's far from "Birdemic" levels. it's well-lit, the sound is good, most of the side actors are better-than-local-theater quality. it's just inexplicable how such a terrible idea and lead performance somehow had enough money behind them to make the finished product a quality representation of the Extremely Bad Ideas that were behind the whole thing. so yeah. this album. I guess the main difference is that the presence of names like Nick Cave and Tom Waits mean that in my metaphor, the equivalent would be if Lars Von Trier and David Lynch got together to produce "Little Nicky." addendum: my god, this album is so bad without this Neil Hannon guy. and then it is SO MUCH WORSE when he appears.

Apparently, if you stand in front of the mirror and say "indulgent" three times, Ute Lemper appears and starts screaming this album in your ear.

Unlistenable. I can't Not my CUPPA

Bloody terrible! Best summed up by another review I saw, "sounds like the soundtrack to a musical I don't want to see."

not 4 me

It's not on Spotify but no bother, I can't stand this type of music. Best Tracks: No idea

Sounds like the Turner Classic soundtrack from a German band singer/ double spy type movie.

Not at all my thing 1/5

Got quickly bored by this. Most songs flirted with being good but just lacked something. An album with Nick Cave, Philip Glass, Tom Waits etc., should’ve been great. Instantly forgettable

Ute has a voice for stage musicals and most of these songs seem to have been written with this in mind. Largely reminded of me Andrew Lloyd Webber stuff which I can't stand so it was tough going. She has a good voice, quite like purple avenue which was mostly acoustic but the album is a 1 for me.

I've found this one hard to rate. It is a bit daft, and I don't like Ute's voice. There are glimmers of good stuff - I have a lot of time for the type of lyrical, story-telling songs but a lot of the lyrics are on the poor side, a bit on-the-nose. Considering the talent on the album (Divine Comedy!) I am disappointed. I am reviewing this late, and have to say I concur with the group. Would have given a 1.5 (rounded to a 2) if I hadn't read everyone else's reviews, but I did and I largely agree. 1.4.

Ute has a decent voice but I didn't particularly enjoy the album, it's not really my kind of music. Ending the album with a messy 11min song also left a sour taste. Highlights: The Case Continues You Were Meant For Me

Considering the names listed on this album, I thought this would be good. Not what I was expecting and did not enjoy it at all really. Not for me

Some of this should be good. But it wasn’t.

Not my type of voice. Too dramatic and theatrical. Sound not incarnated.

Second day in a row I've got an album that really makes me question what criteria was used to create this list. Again, not an album that I hate but it's an album of mostly cover songs (why would there be a cover album on here?) in an adult contemporary style. Not a fan of this one. Standout Tracks: N/A

Un mélange cabaret jazzy parfois assez désagréable. Une écoute assez pénible, terminée par un morceau de 12 minute affreux. Plus jamais ça.

Oh dear. No thank you "if sex were an olympic sport we'd have won the gold" Yes, I'm sure that's both true and something anyone wants to happen

Uh...

When you see a Decca label on a pop record you know you're in for trouble. Sort of styled like it's show tunes for mum's but not sure what mum would want to hear this. Awful.

Absolutely not for me. I can't imagine this being somebody's favourite album. I would not be their friend

Vermoeiend

Ik kende alleen All that jazz van haar van een ander album en dat verafschuwde ik al toen ik er op moest dansen tijdens toneel in vwo5. Was al bang voor de rest en dat heeft ze ook helemaal waargemaakt!! Echt holy shit na 3 nummers werd ik al manisch dus dikke vette 1

No thanks.

I was excited to see that she's covering songs by respectable artists such as Nick Cave, Elvis Costello, Philip Glass, Tom Waits, Scott Walker and Kurt Weill. How could you miss right? It turns out she should have named the album Punishing Tripe instead. Gawd this was awful, pure dreck. The aforementioned artists should sue to have their names removed from the credits.

Happy when it was over

Ik kende dit niet en was echt benieuwd, maar amai, wat een verschrikkelijk album. Strontvervelend gewoon.

Overly dramatic

Sounds like a compilation of JRPG soundtrack songs through the years.

Not for me. Just a strange one. Listening to it made me feel like o was wearing skinny jeans after a meal and I am just in the train home looking forward to getting in and taking them off. That’s what this hour felt like to me and after the hour I threw a Christmas playlist on which in this scenario would be stretchy pyjama pants

I like art music but I fucking hate this.

I'm not sure why anyone would think you need to hear this album before you die. 1/5

not my vibe

I find this kind of saccharine high drama symphonic music really grating. Her voice dos nothing for me. I think this album may be geared toward the German Musical enthusiast set. The only thing worse are the terrible lyrics. Anything with Tom Waits association I always figured I would love, but I suppose rules are made to be broken. Blech. Excuse me while I bleach my earholes.

OMG I feel like I was dropped into a well of 3rd-rate musical actors performing for their selfie debut on MySpace. Cringy, as the kids say. No can do.

why? 1/5

Failed musical turned album

Really terrible! Couldn’t stand it, and have no idea why someone thinks this is one of the best albums ever.

I don't even know where to start with this album. Its just not good. How can you have this many people on an album and none of the songs are any good? Maybe im missing something here but this aint it. Also the last song is just awful. Tough listen 1/10

This type of cabaret music requires an acquired taste, I guess. I can't think of any reason for this album being in the 1001 albums list, other than the list of big names that were part of making this album.

Yo way too long and that was a baaaaaad date(?)

Cabaret music is not my thing.

The Case Continues caught my attention. For some reason that one stuck with me. But from there it was all downhill. Who would have thought collaboration with Elvis Costello, Nick Cave, and Tom Waits would just miss at every opportunity. Very disappointed.

(1.5) Ted!

Not very chic

Boooooring

Pretty shitty. The backing music was kind of great but wasted on these songs - the whole package was not convincing. Shannah - 0.25/5 Bill - 0.5/5 Conor - 1.75/5 0.83/5

what the fuck is this? i can't work it out. its like some 30s vera lynn but trying to disguise itself as modern and edgy by using names of popular sad singer songwriters. ether way its not listenable.

Fuck

not for me. couldn't get into it

Hmmm... a little weird... Reminds me a little bit of Bjork but without the good instrumentals and special something that Bjork's voice has. Midway through the first song I was already starting to get sick of her voice. Not good. To her credit, she seems to have mostly dropped the weird thing she was doing with her voice after the first song, but it's still just meh. Then the man's voice comes in and I... what's happening? What are these lyrics?

Nope, couldn’t enjoy this.

I made it through a few songs. She has some vocal talent and some big name collaborators but this was giving me a headache. Couldn't do it

Trash covers

The play count on Spotify at this time should have been warning enough, but alas, an attempt at being open-minded backfires. Perhaps a success in small circles, but no justifiable reason this review can conjure as to why a person should listen to this prior to leaving this mortal plane, except for an object lesson in what is bad. If one has proclivities to enjoying cabaret music, or storytelling through song without context, then this album could very well be the scratch on that itch. What this album is not though, is enjoyable, and perhaps because the genre/style is very specific. Ute Lemper and her guests on this album perhaps made an album only they would be interested in. Ute Lemper is a talented singer at times, but at others it is though she is impersonating a bad version of herself. Perhaps, this is the fault of the music being put to wordy stanzas that have no rhyme or reason, with fluctuating highs and lows that would never sound sensical in a song worth listening to vs. a song being played out a la theatre with accompanied visuals. While it may be considered a lack of imagination for those that might find this type of music exhilarating, the fault here is that the imagination lacks motivation. It is a chore to the mind, it is that excitement of a new food and moderate expectations that instead gets met with dislike. In fairness, "You Were Meant For Me" did make better use of melody and vocals, granting the type of repetition that makes music inclusive, but it ends there and is not enough to redeem the overall experience of this album as being anything other than dismal. The album very likely can find its appreciation in the world of cabaret, music theater, the niche elements of broadway entertainment, but that is it, and that is okay within those shared interests just not here.

Just terrible, i dont know how to describe it, lounge music mixed with showtunes?

Weird and terrible

Wow, this is ~VERY~ dramatic and bizarre. The highlight is the duet with the even more dramatic male singer where Ute gets nostalgic about being beaten and forced into prostitution.

Not for me

Sounded like the boring songs in a musical

I found it boring.

I didn’t really enjoy it.

No lo pude terminar de escuchar. Hice un gran esfuerzo.

Not my kind... only Lili Marlene but from another disc

I did not dig it

"1001 albums you must hear before you listen to this"

Strangely reminiscent of peri peri.

Not my kinda of music

This was the worst garbage I’ve ever forced myself to listen to.

Tosh. Surprising considering people involved.

Enya meets Phantom of the Opera. Very poetic, but not in the way I like. Jazzy showtimes was the vibe I got, and then I read she started in Chicago. It's all making sense. Talent but not what I'm into

false

Just no

Not great

no no no

didnt like it

Utter tripe

I really didn't like this album. I forced myself to listen through it because it was, admittedly, very different from my tastes. At best, some songs were nothing special. There were more than a few that I found almost discordant.

Connor: showtunes. boring ones.

2000. Key Song: Little Water Song

Frank Black hype is overrated apparently.