Punishing Kiss

I'm not unfamiliar with concept albums but this is more of a musical that's uninteresting. It's very dramatic and the style is similar to a James Bond film intro. Some of the lyrics are hilarious in a bad way. Just to give an example: "My only crime was passion, wild and uncontrolled If sex were an Olympic sport, we'd've won the gold" I can't rate it 1/5 as it's not terrible and there's been worse albums.

Meh. Not sure what this was meant to be.

Music written for the stage (theatric, not concert) really only works for me if there is a context for it; like an actual stage production. Other than that, it doesn't do much for me.

Boring songs sung by a technically good but boring singer, with boring arrangements.

Not my taste, but beautiful music!

Eh. It's alright. I mean, I liked a lot of the instrumental stuff, everyone featured did a good job, but it's mostly just forgettable. I listened to this album a few hours ago, and I've already forgot everything about it, but I enjoyed it enough in the moment. Like I said, it's fine, but it really overstayed its welcome. 2.5/5

if it was instrumental it would have been wonderful, but what is she on about? 2.

Well that was weird. Initially didn't like it but played louder it did grow on me. Bit Bond-themey...

Combining Nick Cave, Elvis Costello, The Divine Comedy, Tom Waits, and Scott Walker was never going to win me over. Ute Lemper’s “Punishing Kiss” sounds nothing like any of those artists that she worked with, but reading those names on the album cover couldn’t have made me less receptive to Lemper’s work. Though it may not have mattered. Lemper’s background in musicals like “Cats” and “Cabaret” and the pairing here with classical music was never going to be in my comfort zone.

I can’t take any album in which the line, “… and she supplied the breast…” appears (Tango Ballad). The guy singing that song is terrible as well. I like when Ute sings some of the time because she sounds like a Bond villainess. But she also says, “If sex were an Olympic sport, we'd've won the gold.” I just can’t take this seriously.

Punishing is right

meh

weird

Why

I don’t even know what to say about this one. If I wanted to be trapped in a musical I would have gone to broadway

Not for me

I hate it. It’s both vaudeville and vapid. The performances are meh. I can’t stop listening it’s so awful like watching tornado videos ripping through farmland

I am afraid I’m just not a fan of cabaret music. Technically very good I can hear, but just not my bag

Not vibing with most of it. A bit too old times in style

What the hell is this, man. Just listen to Nico's "Desertshore" if you want sorta-gothic avantgarde German music. How did the guy making this list even dig something like this up? It kind of has a weird charm I guess. Songs like "The Case Continues" and "Split" were sort of nice, but the longer it went on, the more I was filled with an unbridled rage, and that final 10 minute long track felt like a time warlock's curse. I'm not saying I hated this, I'm just never going to think about this album's existence ever again.

Ok, but not interesting

I was going to say, this is a bit too Disney musical for my taste, and then I read that Ute is a cabaret and musical singer. So that makes sense.

Le Mis for goths. I kept feeling like I was watching a musical with my ears, and was slightly entertained, but ultimately left feeling bored.

“Oh the first song is actually really good, I like the arrangements” *checks credits and sees The Divine Comedy and Nick Cave* I’m so tired of this silly ass esoteric music! Who is this for!!! Who listens to this? Imagine you’re in the car and one of your homies grabs the aux and starts playing “Die Driegroschenoper”. That dude is walking home.

This isn't for me. These tracks sound like they're straight out of a musical and I'm just not a musical guy. Lemper has a fantastic voice, but I keep expecting to get accosted by giant anthropomorphic cats, and it's making me jumpy.

Rejected James Bond/Twin Peaks songs. Insufferable.

I've put off rating this for 150+ days, only for a 2.5

A mix between chanson (which I don't like at all) and songs like they come from a musical (which I don't usually like). Very theatrical, as if part of some larger narrative. Maybe they would sound better if I was watching the full production, but not interesting to listen to in isolation. Just way too melodramatic and souless, with uninteresting melodies. Basically I don't like this at all.

Very weird, fairly bad, better than a few others. Sounds like sarcastic Bond themes, sung by someone who has been in every musical. Not for me

Not really for me, not bad.

I could have hated it a little more. Although by the time I was slogging through Scope J I was well and truly done.

El disc comença prou bé, amb 'The Case Continues' i 'Tango Ballad', dos temes que impressionen pels seus arranjaments i la veu portentosa de Lemper. Pero de mica en mica el disc va afluixant. El concepte es prou bo; versions de temes punyents però poc coneguts d'artistes de primera línia, passats pel filtre obscur i tenebrós de la veu de Lemper. Però l'execució, malgrat els mèrits inqüestionables, no està a l'alçada

Ive scraped worse from the sole of my shoes tonight. A complete waste of Nigel Spackman's time and money. I'd rather fuck a mouse.

no

Instrumentalmente bueno, pero falto de intensidad. No es ni pop.

First two tracks are cool Bond themes, the rest are melodramatic tripe. Why is this on the the list?

An exercise in technical appreciation, rather than enjoyment.

Torchsong album that mostly fizzles.

Not for me

I’m not quite sure who this is for? Kind of a collection of songs that would play during movie scenes that last a little too long? I didn’t turn it off (which is my criteria for a 1) but I did a lot of checking to see how close to the end I was

This is just so much

The way she sang kinda irked me at times; there was this kitschy, overly dramatic quality to her voice. She sounds the way I imagine a melancholy Cruella de Vil would sing while reclining on a long leather sofa in a dingy Paris nightclub smoking from a classy cigarette holder. If Cruella ever wrote a musical it would sound like this. Still, some of the music was pleasant and well-written, I can respect the work and creativity that went into the album. It sounds like a 1980s popstar decided to write a 1940s cabaret album. I didn't dislike it too much, but I probably won't return to this one.

Nah

Clearly everyone involved in the making of this album are excellent musicians and skilled players, but overall I just wasn't swept away by the compositions.

lol no

What is this? A collection of show tunes?

So-so. I liked it better than The Divine Comedy's solo albums but still not my cup of tea

Hm. Well. What this lacks in terms of being interesting it tries to overcompensate with being overly dramatic I guess. Anyway, I really didn't care for this one.

A little Dresden Dolls-esque, crossed with Kurt Weill. Rich orchestrating and a very strong German vocal. Too theatrical for me, but it was nice to listen to once.

La propuesta me parecía interesante, además me gustan The Divine Comedy pero el disco me ha parecido más o menos aburrido. No creo que sea algo a escuchar obligatoriamente en la vida. Le voy a dar 2 estrellas ** pero podría haber sido una, no por malo, sino por aburrido.

Not my cup of tea

First listen. Kinda Showtunesy... hard to like, hard to dislike. 2/5

A bit of an uphill struggle to listen - very cabaret-y and wasn't too impressed by it.

Her voice is a bit hypnotic, and the band plays true. Nothing overtly objectionable.

I started out on board with this album, and the first two songs are interesting and enjoyable. But the album just goes big broadway extravagence song after song that is a bit more obnoxious than entertaining. I want to give it a 3 for effort, as Ute has a pretty amazing voice, but i actually was getting irritated by the time i made it to the end of the album.

The music is pretty cool, but then the singing comes in. A VERY polarizing style of lead vocal. A bit too melodramatic for these ears. 2.5/5.

not my cup of tea

Took a couple of listens - obviously clever stuff but washed over me really

Suffocatingly German. Was disappointed to find out I wasn't going to hear songs sung by Nick Cave, Tom Waits, Elvis Costello, etc. Interesting enough ballads to keep this from a 1, but this mostly felt like a bunch of throwaway Bond themes. Saved: Die Dreigroschenoper: Tango Ballad*

Saved Prior: :| Off Rip: The Case Continues, Passionate Flight Cutting Edge: Streets of Berlin, Split Overall Notes: Honestly wanted to hate this but I'm a sucker for overly-dramatic Bond themes and this is close enough that it scratches that itch. That being said, DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE THE DIVINE COMEDY IN THE CREDITS OF EVERY SONG DID THEY WRITE THIS LIST WHAT ARE THEY DOING IN THIS GENERATOR THREE FUCKING TIMES

It sounds like the kind of music that would get played in Debenhams at Christmas. 2 stars because she looks a bit like Gillian Anderson in the cover photo and I thought that deserved recognition.

puf, menudo rollazo. Por los nombres de los autores pintaba bien, pero ...

Not my bag but appreciated some of the tunes

11th August 2021 Started while our getting lunch when I went in to the office for our team day. Finished the morning after. Very strange, was it written for a show? Hugely dramatic, gothic, you could tell from the first song that nick cave had his hands on it.

Weird, like a theatre score or musical film music. Each song like a story. Out there, different, not surprising given that Nick Cave features. Intriguing though, not bad,but also not my kind of thing. 2/5

I did not enjoy this. Don't particularly like her obviously proficient voice. The production is too crisp and clean for my taste. Ohh man I really don't like when the male vocalist comes in at all. It's funny cause the selection of material tries to come off hard edged and cynical but the execution makes it seem so inauthentic and unbelievable. I don't buy it. Most interesting track was the last; Scope J. If more of the album was like that one I'd be more interested.

not my jam...

Musical feel. Heavy, somber. Couldn’t get into it.

Pros: alcuni arrangiamenti orchestrali li ho trovati interessanti. La cantante è molto tecnica ed espressiva. Cons: spesso mi è sembrato di ascoltare qualcosa di troppo pacchiano, lei è brava ma a un certo punto si accolla. Atmosfera da musical noioso.

Too weird

not my cup of tea

Non lo conoscevo, inizialmente credevo mi sarebbe piaciuto poi però ho avuto molte difficoltà a sopportarlo, eccessivamente teatrale come ascolto. Il suo modo di cantare è un polpettone letale.

Very weird. Has some interesting moments but the overall theatricality gets a bit too much after a while.

Bland is kind. 2*

Not for me.

Nope

ei mun mieleen vaikka jazzia onkin, kuulostaa enemmän joltain oudolta musikaalilta

Beautiful voice, but not quite my thing. Maybe if I was sitting in a lounge in Paris.

Chansons, chansons! Felt a bit like a musical. Not bad, but not my jam.

I wasn't feeling this. Not really paying attention, but it also wasn't speaking to me.

In no mood for this radio 2, Elaine Page crap today. More international box ticking?

очень скучно

meh, not my vibe

Patricia Kaas a réuni tous les 2/5 de la liste pour lui faire un album je pense

Fuck this

This certainly was punishing

What the hell is even this

Come on, list. Do better.

There must be a German word for utterly unlistenable…

Non. Est-ce une joke? Ou de la musique d'hôtel? "if sex were an Olympic sport, we would've won the gold..." J'ai abandonné vers la 4ième chanson

hasdjasdjnrgjnerogunerogune SHUT UP UTE!!!!

No me deja escuchar este álbum en Spotify y en YouTube no lo encontré completo. El puntaje solo refleja eso, no puedo juzgar el álbum.

This is the kind of album there should be a 0 star rating for... I think I'd rather listen to PiL... (I wouldn't)

A strange album. It sounded like the score to a third-rate shitty stage show in the West End. Every single song sounded the same to me. Just progressive chords and lyrics that are semi-spoken and don;t really fit the meter of the song. I quickly switched it off at track 9 as I was getting close to making it the way through without enjoying a single second. I suppose I could concede that it wasn't 'hurts my ears' bad, but it was still shite.

A valiant attempt at making the wankiest album on the list.

Luister naar 'Troy' Van Sinéad O'Connor en je zal horen wat Ute Lemper met dit album probeert te doen. En hoe hard ze tekort schiet. Wat overblijft is een dumpster fire die zelfs door de schare aan ronkende namen op de cover niet kan gered worden.

Dit doet me denken aan een musical, en op een hele slechte manier

HET IS ECHT ECHT SLECHT??? ze denkt echt dat ze cool is en kan opera zingen ofz maar nahhhh OHELLNO ER IS EEN GUY???? “I GOT THE BRAIN AND SHE SUPPLIED THE BRRRREAST” NAHHHH

ik weet echt oprecht niet waar k naar aan het luisteren was

punishing is right. I strongly dislike this, and its whole sleazy cabaret theater vibe, with "Scope J." as maybe the only exception. this might end up being one of my bottom albums of the entire list.

Who's who of my least favorite artists from this list. Awful theater-kid garbage.

I don't lack an appreciation for musicals, theater, opera, etc, but there is only one word for this album- theaterslop.

No.

I liked her voice. And that's the end of the list of things I liked. So, she's recorded a 1988 album of Kurt Weill songs. Those are well done, and are performed truer to the original compositions than the weird one on this album.

not great

No

It's v dramatic

Oh god I hated it. I have the feeling it's just on the list because it has some Elvis Costello covers on it. But it really shouldn't.

An elevator in a hotel lobby crashed into an interpretive dance group and said "let's collaborate and sell it to some corporates who want to get some artistic cred".

Oh man. It's a treasure trove for 1001 heads. Nick Cave, Elvis Costello, Tom Waits and moody blonde women in one neat little package?? What did we do to deserve this. I thought this was an art house film soundtrack. I don't even know what "art house" means, but it is one of the funnier genres I can conjure up. Is "Jurassic World 3D" an Art House movie? Probably. I never saw it. The top review for this record says more than I ever could (in a more entertaining way) about the dismal mediocrity this record inflicts upon the public. Although, the blast radius really only extends out to people who wrote or entertain the foolishness held within the book we're all enduring. This album is ludicrously bad. The feigned depth is so very unlikeable. There are people who have interesting, absurdist takes, and then there is Ute Lemper and her band of pretentious prisoners. She sounds like she wasn't told "NO" as a child, and thus we're forced to endure this talentless hack croon through 57 god damn minutes of amateur cabaret. Oooh wow! A song about sex work?? Ground-breaking. May the Shenzen warehouses containing the last unsold copies of this dreck collapse under mysterious circumstances. 0 HIGHLIGHTS: Teach your children a modicum of humility. For all of our sake. GENRE: Mom had too much wine again

This was quite confusing to me, sounded more like a soundtrack for an art film than a cohesive music album. Unfortunately it’s a record that was a chore to finish and I dread listening again to see what I missed.. 1.5/5

This was just so bland, why is it here? I had to keep fighting the urge to hit skip on every song. It's like they took James Bond music and tried to make it as beige as possible. 1*

This album is an impressive recording with great vocals and songwriting. That being said, I do not understand its direction and that makes it a challenging listen. I likely will never listen to this again.

What a peculiar list of credits. Nick Cave, Elvis Costello, Tom Waits... And to be frank, this music sounds nothing like any of them (at least not those I'm familiar with). It also sounds aggressively retrograde for something released in Y2K. Remember, this is the same year Radiohead's Kid A was released. Compare a track like Everything In Its Right Place or Idioteque to the majestic, beautiful, but ultimately extremely dated, strings and vocals of Little Water Song. Then we get a string of bad songs, mostly for the level of hamminess and bad lyricism overshadowing any potentially decent musical ideas. The first good track after the opener is Streets of Berlin, followed by the similarly passable The Part You Throw Away. Both get a little sappy, but don't actively work towards their own detriment, so that's something. The next "great" song, though – and easily the strongest on the record – is the monumental, finale-like You Were Meant For Me. Great textural build-up and classic high-tension chord progression. Speaking of the opening track, I normally don't pay much heed to lyrics, but I had to do a double take for one of them: "For under here, my pretty breasts are piled high / With stones, and I cannot breathe / And tiny little fishes enter me". Yeah. I can't say this is particularly relatable. And this isn't a one-off lyrical gaffe. The following track, The Case Continues, ery much lives up to its name with some of the suspicious lines: "Why did the blood stained sheets / That burned turn quite so cold? / My only crime was passion, wild and uncontrolled / If sex were an Olympic sport, we'd've won the gold". A couple of songs later: "I got the brain, and she supplied the breast" These might be the most unintentionally bad lyrics I've heard during this project. Or maybe they're intentionally bad and I'm missing something that makes up for it, some star factor, a catchy riff or chord progression... anything. But no, everything is just faux-drama with horrifically clumsy poetry, a nostalgia(?)-conjuring production style, and a dense, waxy layer of camp that (from past experience) clearly only works in small quantities. Another reviewer put it best: "A performance hammier than a telenovela set on a pig farm, wrapped in spun-sugar arrangements so saccharine they made my teeth melt." The 11-minute track at the end is stupid, indulgent, misguided, unnecessary. Coupled with all the other wasted time on the album, and even moments like the relatively brilliant You Were Meant For Me can't save it. 1/5 Key tracks: Little Water Song, You Were Meant For Me

One of the worst rated album of this website. Is it really that bad ? Yes The lyrics are first draft, the album is overproduced as hell, the songs are uninteresting, painfully boring and the album doesnt have anything new to offer after the 2nd track and just keeps repeating itself for a fucking hour. And I cannot stand her voice. It sounds like shes trying so hard to have a cool low voice, im-not-like-other-female-singers shit. Its miserable, stop, do all of us a favor and stop music forever. All skips, no hits/10

People who worship Scott Walker shouldn't make records.

Di k like

She sounds like she's singing Disney show tunes

Holy crap. I tried being open minded and understanding, but this album was shockingly bad. I laughed out loud several times in spite of myself. Actually, there are some strong instrumental moments, but those are immediately ruined by the most dramatic and extra vocals and lyrics you could imagine. Absolute solid 1/5.

This album was painful to get through. I knew I was in trouble whenever the first track contained singing that I could only describe as Bjork-esque, but she didn’t sing like that on the rest of the album. Instead, the singing was like a musical theatre performance that I had never seen but everyone thinks is so good. Her singing was so dramatic and overpowering that it overshadowed anything good that might have been going on elsewhere. Outside of just her singing, the album is a collection of Robert Dimery’s all-star cast: Nick Cave, Elvis Costello among the names I recognized as having multiple albums on the 1001. I did not like any part of this.

Unmitigated bumwater. The names in this - Cave, Waits, Hannon, Costello - should not be producing bad backing tracks for an abominable vocal style. It was like the worst cruise ship cabaret you could ever imagine, sung with piercing clarity into your ears. Very small congrats to Project Sponsor Elvis Costello for writing the only vaguely acceptable track.

A sort of Andrew Lloyd Weber / Meatloaf / ABBA love child. The more you listen the worse it gets.

L'un des pires albums que j'ai écouté du site. Production value au top et une brochette de stars mais pour quoi? Des textes ridicules pseudo intello de comédie musicale/cabaret ringarde. Dommage parce que la musique sans les paroles ou si on arrive a en faire abstraction est plutôt agréable.

No. 166 Thoroughly did not enjoy it.

Podľa mňa to medzi týmito albumami vôbec nemá byť. 0

I couldn’t finish this album… it sounds like nobody really cared about what was happening, but the pay was good so they slapped something “good enough” together. Like, it’s passable at a glance, but when you listen to it it’s lacking the intangible “soul” that most of the albums on this project have put into them.

Hey chat gpt, make me an album of sad sack alternative songs in the style of that song from "Frozen".

Punishing Ears.

This is just not it. 1/5

This album made me question if I like music.

In the nicest way possible - I really did not enjoy this one. To be honest I couldn’t even finish it.

I could have skipped this album entirely.

This feels like the soundtrack to a musical and not a good one. The songs aren't particularly catchy or vibrant, they are just consistently over-dramatic & cringe. The vocals are borderline painful to listen to and the instrumentals don't capture my attention either, they feel too polished and lack depth at moments where I was hoping for something a bit more interesting. The record definitely tries to capture some atmospheric tone but for me it doesn't hit the mark at all.

Comically bad

Yuck. Never needed to hear this and certainly never need to hear it again. No reason to be on this list at all.

Schmaltzy and over the top. I couldn’t finish this.

All of that talent and still sucked that hard. Quite impressive

It made sense when I discovered she was German. Absolute dogshit, but if I were a theater kid I'd probably eat this up like alfredo pasta at Olive Garden.

I can see the artistry in this album, but it just doesn't sound great. I feel that way about pretty much all cabaret, to be fair, so this particular album isn't necessarily a poor example of the genre.

Like listening to your least favorite aunt do shitty karaoke to show tunes

That was just plain fucking awful and beggers belief on how this gets included on the list, woeful!! 1 star

Wow! What a stacked lineup on each track. Sounded Operatic. Was curious to hear each track and then thought i won’t remember them at all

Horrible

Are you still talking about....

With most albums I dislike, I can at least understand why they are on this list even if the are not to my taste. This album is the exception.

Sounds like something you’d hear in the doctor's office at a Renn Faire.

I'm stacking this up with show tunes and chanson, while it's too grandiose to be schlager/iskelmä, it has lots of qualities in common. This is music that I need more visual support (read up on aphantasia) for it to work as it was probably intended to work. I already know I'm not going to listen to this ever again, but I'm also not disliking it. Again, it's just not music for me.

I didn't know this album, so tried to listen with an open mind. That closed quite quickly. Some potentially interesting collaborations even though I've never really got the Divine Comedy, but didn't work for me.

What are you doing Divine Comedy. There is a reason this only got to 104 in the album charts. A punishing listen

Approached with some dread because I'm not a fan of musical theatre and I'm not a Divine Comedy fan. Possibly the only respect in which the album met expectations. Failed even to provide a lift on a wet, misty and cold spring day. Wanted to give a bonus * because the song writers are (mostly) stellar. But on reflection that just shows how dreadful the performance really is. 1*

this sounds like a multimillion dollar Hollywood production trying an art house film. or like an AI generated Bond soundtrack

J’ai l’impression d’écouter une comédie musicale allemande, très tragédien Bof bof

interesting, diferent

The vocals are grating. Lyrically, there's on the nose, then there's whatever this is. Not even some of the greatest musicians and songwriters of a generation could salvage this.

Nope, not for me.

Not at all my jam. Guess it’s good singing? Felt like a long James Bond movie intro that somehow took all those songs and made them sound exactly the same.

I wasn't a huge fan of this. Like Broadway show tunes (which I can enjoy) but without a plot.

2/10

It’s not horrible but it doesn’t have any redeeming qualities either. It’s just the most boring over dramatic show tunes style music but without the show tunes. Usually one star is truly despicable stuff but what’s more despicable than boring art?

look it's got great production value and it gets adjacent to music i think i like once in a while but it just never felt like more than a chore for me to listen through the last song started right as the emergency brakes were activated in the tunnel on my train trying to get to work so i really just wasn't in a good place for this to hit with me

I can’t believe artists I respect would be a part of this trainwreck.

I gave it a fair try to listen to it, but it's definitely not my speed. It's fine. She's a good singer, and the music is decent lounge music. I just don't care a lick about it, tbh.

Must admit I skipped around through this one a little, I just didn’t enjoy it. I never really like this cabaret kind of stuff I guess. I can hear the Nick Cave and so forth at times which I did like more but I didn’t particularly like her voice or delivery either. I don’t know, maybe partly the wrong mood too but just not for me. (1.5 stars)

I think that they accidentally put this album on this list instead of the 1001 Albums You Must Hear to Hasten Death list where it belongs.

no

The theatrics, drama and ballad-y nature were not for me. This was tough to listen to because I just couldn't take it seriously.

What is this doing here.

Overindulgent and cheesy in only the way a bad musical can be. So I'm surprised it's not a musical soundtrack. The combination of voice, lyrics, the delivery of the lyrics, and the huge amount of instruments behind the vocals is terrible, although I can't exactly point to which part is terrible (except possibly the lyrics). I've been fighting turning this off through the entire album.

i tried to listen to this, but it appears to be an album of stock / advertising music? not good.

Ballads are just not my thing.

Even the Wiki page cannot really tell me why I should listen to this… like if there is not enough suffering in the world.

Not for me

Vond vooral de bangers die ik al kende erg leuk en “Humble Mumble”. En vette afspeel-visual

DNF

What could the lore behind this album possibly be. What is going on. I'm confused and intrigued. I'm really into whatever's going on. I would not have guessed this is from the 2000s. It feels like an artist of old making ballads with fade outs and everything. But it also feels like someone is trying to get that sound and kind've missing the mark a little. It feels theatrical. I would've guessed a theatre kid made this, not a German. But I'm enjoying it, don't get me wrong, I just don't know in what context I would listen to this casually. I perhaps don't believe I am the target audience for this, but I can appreciate it all the same. I will not be listening to these songs on the regular. Do these songs have a narrative? Like is the album a story? Because if so this is going waaaay over my head. It's just so dramatic. Like this should be a jukebox musical or something I wanna see a visual representation of this. Why are we screaming holy moly. What are we talking about right now dog. I'm very confused. None of these songs ended up making it onto my playlists. Also, the last song did not end on a high note unfortunately. Favourite: The Case Continues Least favourite: Die Dreigroschenoper

Not my style

Wtf is this shit

Blood Money is one of my favorite albums ever. Her version of The Part that You Throw Away is a fucking crime. It’s absolutely fucking terrible

I genuinely didn't think it could get worse than Velvet Underground. I was wrong. Another 0/10 that I have to give a 1/10.

too weird and instrumental/orchestral. can't do it

Feel like several half cooked songs

It’s punishment in musical form. I will go to great lengths to never listen to this again

This wasn't for me

Holy hell, what? I guess the collaborators on this got it included? Because everything else about this is crap

I suffered through this album. It seemed like an indulgent musical theatre album set to expire random sexual themes of Ute’s life…. I have no idea. I just know that I was not the target audience

Not for me.

Nope... this was just bad

Jak ścieżka dźwiękowa z musicalu, którego nie chcę ogladać.

One of the worst albums on the entire list. Nick Cave, The Divine Comedy, Tom Waits, all in collaboration with a lounge-singer reject? It's like someone had a premonition in 2005 and put this album in to bother me, personally. Negative infinity stars.

Sounds like show tunes I don’t like show tunes

Fuck this shit. I was so happy I was on the last song and then realized it was ten minutes long.

The lyrics on this sound like they were google translated from some other language to English.

Stunningly bad. Not a single redeeming quality. A stain on the face of this otherwise fun experience.

I didn't know what this was going in, and the tracklist and dozens of album artists didn't clarify things. Sounds like a cabaret of a bunch of songs which were rejected as James Bond themes, which very quickly grew into a question of endurance. I would definitely have skipped a lot of these tracks if I allowed myself that as part of this project. That said, I didn't mind too much until the 11-minute final track, Scope J., which managed to reduce this to a one-star review almost by itself, the straw that broke my back.

girl what…. 1.5

Long et chiant

Kinda adds kindle to me wondering what the criteria is for an albums’s inclusion of the book. Already a bad take when they don’t include classical music and movie scores but then this is included? Just a baffling inclusion and makes me question who the 1001 albums is meant for, especially after the last few albums.

Almost unbearably boring

New vote for worst album on this thing

What the hell is going on in this album cover?

Nope. I think I can see how this one could land in some circles. Unfortunately for me, my circle is well outside that landing zone. Very dramatic arrangements, artistic storytelling, and just not my thing. Makes me feel like I'm listening to the soundtrack for a musical. Couple moments where straight up sounds like someone stepped on a cat's tail.

I’m not a fan of this, enough said.

Eh, no thanks. Not something that I found interesting nor something I'd go back to.

Um, hard pass. After listening to the first song all the way through, I had to skip through the rest. Ute's voice was a bright spot but everything else was not.

This was not my style at all

Dreadful whiny mundane album.

She should be in musicals. Maybe she is. I don't care.

I don't know who she is. I don't know what this is. And I have no earthly idea why I 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 listen to it. Just a load of weird atmospheric sort-of vocal jazz that feels like a shit movie soundtrack. Punishing Kiss? My arse.

Boring and long, though some of the orchestration is pretty.

This one took me awhile to review. I absolutely did not like it on my first listen, but then I saw collaborators like Tom Waits, Nick Cave and Elvis Costello, among others, I thought that I must be missing something. After several further listens, my initial impressions haven’t changed much. Essentially, this is a collection of dark musical tunes. While Limpur has a good voice, it just doesn’t work with this material. In fact, I think it works against the mood the songs were intended to convey. I appreciate experimental music, but sometimes experiments fail as this one did. My overall impression was that Punishing Kiss was an album that couldn’t figure out what it was trying to accomplish or convey. I’m sure some will like it, but it was not for me. Definitely not something I needed to listen to before I die. 2/10, I think this might be my first one star, only because I forced myself to listen to it so many times because I was convinced I just didn't get it.

Boring

Very operatic. Impressive guests like elvis costello n Tom waits. Probably great as a musical drama on stage. But didn't feel very lyrically clever, musically engaging or outstanding even as a postwar Berlin thing. As an album I reckon there should be stuff like this in the 1001. Not convinced about this example though could do a lot better or if not drop this . Costello and Waits certainly can. Persuaded me to generally be harsher as a critic. 1 star

I honestly think there should be a zero score do that me and many others could give this album its true score

Yuck

Punishing listen. 'The Case Continues' may be the most cringe song I've ever heard. It made me embarrassed for the singer. Then 'Die Dreigrosschenoper' started and suddenly there was another contender. It sounds like the soundtrack to a penny dreadful musical where Miss Havisham fights Dracula.

She can sing, but who in their right mind is going to sit down and think, oh, I need to listen to this album right now. I can see the influence from Nick Cave and Tom Waits on this album and that's not a good thing. The last song was punishing to listen to. 1/5

Marginally better than Tom Waits.

I don’t know what that wanted to be, but I know what it was - really bad.

Not a fan.

1 out of 5 This was not for me.

A truly punishing listen. It's essentially a generic version of a Disney Movie soundtrack. Favorite Track: "Couldn't You Keep That To Yourself".

Good god!

How did this make the list? There is barely any plays for it on spotify. Sadly I added one to that list.

Second day in a row I say "why is this here?"

Wtf was this?

Legitimately terrible album. Somewhere between the outro music for a bad kids movie and the musical number from an original high-school stage production about vampire hairdressers

Oh, ha ha! The album generator trolled me, giving me an album that wasn't actually on the list just to make me suffer! There's no way this was actually on the 1001 album list. Right?...Right? Oh, I see. Standout track: I was going to say "The Case Continues" because I liked its 5/4 time signature, but then I got to this disqualifying lyric: If sex were an Olympic sport, we'd've won the gold Oh well, on to the next!

Cabaret should stay in cabaret.

Who is this for? I can’t think of anyone I’ve ever met who would enjoy this.

No

creepy

C-tier musical garbage. Too artsy to bother with basic shit like rhyme schemes. If there's any sense of structure to the track, it was written - and almost certainly performed better - by someone else.

this was very boring in all honesty, not got much else to say about it

Not for me

Are you fucking shitting me? I genuinely have no idea what criteria was used for this list. Some of these entries seem pulled from a hat.

Ute Lemper obviously knows someone who made this list. She has a good voice, but there is no need for me to go back and listen to this ever again.

I'm struggling to put into words how much I disliked this album so I think I'll just say a polite "No thank you" and move on.

I was suffering while listening to that one

Absolute crap.

So far most albums in the list were either brilliant, or at least enjoyable and the few that were not had some idea behind them that made them stand out. But this was just none of that. It was annoying, terrible songs with poor singing and nothing unique about it. The first time I regretted the decision I will listen 100% to each album. One star.

1,4/5

Get a life dude.

Oof. This strange cabaret lounge overly theatrical crooner style is really not for me.

I think she was trying to make this album boring, because there's absolutely no way anyone would make this thinking there is anything of merit. In which case, 10/10 for execution.

dødkedelig!

Horrible

The first album I had to turn off. The first two songs were alright but it went downhill extremely quickly.

Very stale

I feel like this something I would like but her voice just isn’t for me- I could see other people loving this tho

Brb gonna go jump off a bridge

This isn't a good record. It starts pretty decent, but goes down in quality very quickly. It's overlong, way too dramatic, the lyrics are occasionally awful and cringey, and her overly dramatic singing gets old very fast. The production is decent, there are some good songs but others are a mess. "Punishing Kiss" sounds cartoonish around the middle, and "Scope J" was absolutely awful, an attempt at a 10-minute grandiose anthem that falls flat in its face. A note apart for Ute Lemper's singings, which is so exaggerated and overly dramatic it ends up being annoying. She can definitely sing, but she should've definitely toned it down a bit. The lyrics can be awful too, the whole "sex olympics" line from "The Case Continues" is so bad it's funny. Overall, I'd only keep "Little Water Song", which is delicate and has a beautiful string section. I wish the album had been more like this. "Tango Ballad" is absolutely awful, the singing is unbearable. The singing on "Split" is also pretty bad too, particularly Lemper towards the end. And again, "Scope J" was awful. Overall, this feels like it'd be the soundtrack to a bad musical. When I started listening to it I was pretty surprised by the low rating it had here, since the opener was pretty decent. But I was wrong. I'd give it 2 stars for the effort, but honestly I disliked it strongly and don't feel like Lemper's singing deserves an extra star, so 1 it is.

No va

Ugh, this was bad. It was made in 2000? It sounds dated in the worst way - not nostalgic or retro in any good way, just try-hard and overly emotive. Will not ever listen to again. 1/5

This dark cabaret stuff was a favourite of several annoyingly pretentious people I used to know so I'm predisposed not to like it, but this was genuinely difficult to get through regardless. Ute Lemper seems to be a very talented performer and I usually really like The Divine Comedy, Nick Cave and several of the others involved with this album, but the music itself just feels rambling and self indulgent.

Was all punishing and certainly no kiss. Weird kind of shit ballads but not even power ballads. Poor mans Whitney. I thought the song ‘split’ was going to change it with the first 20 seconds but alas it turned into drivel. Past its sell by

Weird theatrical existentialism. Just too arty and weird for me. It felt more like someone shouting at me than singing and I think it opened up emotional wounds that Steve MacManaman first inflicted. Also googled her and she's not even fit, looks like a stereotypical grunty Wimbledon finalist.

Basically, your mum sings the soundtrack to an imaginary Bond movie, but the music is produced by Disney and the lyrics written by Ken Russell. It's a marriage made in hell. The undoubtedly talented Neil Hannon indulges in all of the worst of his nudge-nudge wink-wink traits, while Costello's sophisticated melodic pop sense is the collection's only redeeming feature - if you can bear the treatment. The production just sounds messy... theatrical arrangements often seem to be occupying a totally different sonic space to Lemper's (not particularly brilliant) vocals, rather than complimenting them. Sample lyric: "If sex were an Olympic sport, we would have won the gold." Jesus.

This album was shockingly awful, like there's so many talented names on this thing but then Ute Lemper's singing just sounds like she's badly improvising the lyrics, and the way she belts them out makes me wonder if she's tone deaf and has no sense of rhythm.

Did not finish

Malisimo le puedo dar 0?

Started off interesting ended up grating

que bosta meu deus

Listen to this a few years ago, don't intend to again. Terrible

Not a very fun first album to listen to... Very over dramatic, I really dont like her singing voice, dont like the lyrics, really just not enjoyable at all. This is my first album of this challenge so its only up from here I guess... Split was okay, but the rest was just boring, annoying and bothersome to listen to

Shitty Disney music? That's an album I must listen to? Miss me with this crap.

UTE OF SOZARCH FAME?? wnl die credits gsehnd nachere musigkritik-orgie uus dass bi little water song de nick cave sini finger im spiel gha het, isch so klar gsi wie euse sieg nächst wuchenend geg aurora uiuiuiui dreigroschenoper findi het sehr schlecht galteret mitem corny ass gitarre solo bin wahrsch chli vorihgno aber finds leider echt langwilig und für das isch ihri stimm jz au nöd insane? de schluss vo you were meant for me findi actually no cool, das epische passt seeehr guet! ich loses nomal will ich de rest sehr langeilig gfunde han, aber vlt mussi chli besser zuelose ahh okay sehr chanson aber sehr cool!! NEIII 11 MINUTEEEE ok de ahfang isch aber sehr cool und dissonant hä eisch iwie 11 min eifh zwei teil wo sich abwechslet? die letschte 2 lieder hani jz rig no cool gfunde aber joa also eig wär das für mich es 2, will ichs ganze zwar sehr langwilig gfunde han, aber glaub sochli d überlegig/kunst dehinder chan schätze ABER ich wett nöd akzeptiere, dass nick cave und elvis costello druff staht und mier weg dem de gaggi münd lose, fy (sorry ute du chasch nüt defür)

Oof. Ute's voice was fine, she's clearly talented. But chamber pop and the Divine Comedy are both not my thing, so this gets dragged down by their involvement. Some of the songs are really bad.

This album was really weird. It was tough to get through. Felt like I was in a lounge.

Pretentious and annoying. I couldn't finish it. Did anyone let her know you can name yourself literally anything as an artist?

Rating: 1 Notable songs: n/a Can assure you this wasnt in the top 1001 most influential albums.

Yeah don’t get this one either…..

Posh bollocks. Went down well at Glyndebourne, no doubt. This album is absolutely terrible. The singing sounds unrelated to the music in places and insists on being grammatically correct, as if dull story were being told. It is overly orchestrated and sounds starchy and contrived.

Well that was dramatic! (and somewhat depressing) Despite the talent involved I had to stop listening as felt like continuously being nagged.

Not a fan. Hard to get through an hour of it. Standout song: Tango Ballad

First album I haven’t listened to all the way through - not for me.

Boring and incredibly melodramatic. Uninteresting songs insisting upon themselves makes this an album that feels stuffy and hollow. No real substance, and entirely skippable

Weird cabaret style music. The voices were also quite irritating at times.

Did not like this.

Among the many things I have learned about music is this fact: I do not, in any form, like German cabaret. At all.

Punishing, indeed. I know there are fans for this kind of anti-pop, minor chord, and overly dramatic and orchestral “chanson” stylings. I’m just not one of them.

Nope. Someone is taking the piss.

Garbage

"It's a no from me dawg" I can see what others are saying about the bond music theme, except this is just worse- both less interesting and vocally it feels like a choir teacher trying to show her students her talented and serious she is. Which, speaking from my own choral experience, never impressed me. There's no way all of this is done with sincerity... The "If sex were an Olympic sport we'd have won the gold" bar on the case continues is an outright meme.

Incrível como ter todo mundo que eu gosto em um disco ainda consegue produzir algo tão tedioso

Well... this was certainly... different. I can't say it was the worst thing this challenge has thrown at us, but it was quite possibly the most pointless. Who is the intended audience for this? The lyrics don't speak to "every man", and the music isn't for casual or even background listening. It's like a Broadway soundtrack without the plot. Very confusing. And, probably more than any other album we've heard thus far, NOT something that needed to be listened to before death. I will say, however, that other than the last track (which I mercifully ended at the 2/3rds mark), the overall orchestration and Ute's voice are strong, but does that REALLY matter at the end of the day? I mean, the bassoon's a great instrument, but if you're just using it to fish out lint from behind the dryer, you're squandering the potential of its true function. Sadly, this is yet another 1 for me. I know... I'm a monster...

Oh cool its temu Bjork.

Holy shit this is shit. The lyrics are shit. The singing is so over the top. The music itself is reaching for something it will NEVER achieve. This thing is an hour long turd. Dear God

Patti Smith really influenced a lot of trash.

Fucking dreadful

for real???

This is not James Bond. It’s Austin Powers. Waste of time.

This was utter butchery of music. Awful lyrics, dreadful over-dramatic singing that somehow managed to remain bland throughout. Wretched backing music that sounded like it came from the bargain bin of B movies. I was actually surprised by how this somehow managed to get even worse as time dragged on, even though it already seemed to be setting the standard for the worst music possible. Turns out there are extra levels of badness that I had never thought possible. Why is it that everything touched by Elvis Costello sounds like utter shite? I feel zero regrets in awarding this 1 star, as it truly is awful.

First two are fairly meandery. Not a fan of her voice. LOVE the continuous unexpected chords on 'used to LIVE' in Die Dreigroschenoper. I like the accordion on The Part You Throw Away. You Were Meant For Me is the best one. It has an epic scale. Actually a tortuous experience sitting through Scope J.

Yet again, Elvis Costello, I have to listen to a song by you albeit sung by someone else. This album is the very essence of a slightly faux-edgy but very pretentious upper white middle class wine, cheese, and hors d'oeuvres party. I shall see myself out while I speak to Reginald Longbottom and his dear wife Dorothy about days of yore.

Not for me.

Sounds like a movie soundtrack to a movie your family makes you watch on movie night

The original cast recording of Andrew Lloyd Weber's least successful musical. This better not fuck up my algorithms

"He provided tne brains, she peovided the breasts"??? Awful, i couldnt finish.

How did this make this list? Her voice is quite nice but the overall sound and delivery is like a parody at an awards show

Oh nick cave here we go again fucking scary album 1