Journey Complete!
Finisher #575 to complete the list
1089
Albums Rated
3.26
Average Rating
100%
Complete
A Grand Don't Come For Free
The Streets
Favorite Album
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Rating Timeline
Taste Profile
1950s
Favorite Decade
Rock-and-roll
Favorite Genre
UK
Top Origin
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Rater Style ?
121
5-Star Albums
50
1-Star Albums
Breakdown
By Genre
By Decade
By Origin
Albums
You Love More Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| A Grand Don't Come For Free | 5 | 2.67 | +2.33 |
| Orbital 2 | 5 | 2.69 | +2.31 |
| The White Room | 5 | 2.79 | +2.21 |
| Scott 4 | 5 | 2.8 | +2.2 |
| Kings Of The Wild Frontier | 5 | 2.83 | +2.17 |
| Arular | 5 | 2.84 | +2.16 |
| Bone Machine | 5 | 2.86 | +2.14 |
| Come Find Yourself | 5 | 2.92 | +2.08 |
| Swordfishtrombones | 5 | 2.95 | +2.05 |
| The Scream | 5 | 3.04 | +1.96 |
You Love Less Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| The Score | 1 | 3.69 | -2.69 |
| good kid, m.A.A.d city | 1 | 3.61 | -2.61 |
| Channel Orange | 1 | 3.31 | -2.31 |
| Bitches Brew | 1 | 3.3 | -2.3 |
| Shake Your Money Maker | 1 | 3.29 | -2.29 |
| Teen Dream | 1 | 3.27 | -2.27 |
| Me Against The World | 1 | 3.25 | -2.25 |
| Virgin Suicides | 1 | 3.24 | -2.24 |
| Fisherman's Blues | 1 | 3.2 | -2.2 |
| Live 1966 (The Royal Albert Hall Concert) | 1 | 3.15 | -2.15 |
Artists
Favorites
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Beatles | 7 | 4.71 |
| Tom Waits | 5 | 4.6 |
| Simon & Garfunkel | 3 | 5 |
| Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds | 5 | 4.4 |
| Black Sabbath | 3 | 4.67 |
| Kraftwerk | 3 | 4.67 |
| Prince | 3 | 4.67 |
| Nirvana | 3 | 4.67 |
| Depeche Mode | 2 | 5 |
| Aretha Franklin | 2 | 5 |
| Iron Maiden | 2 | 5 |
| Joy Division | 2 | 5 |
| Green Day | 2 | 5 |
| Radiohead | 6 | 4.17 |
| David Bowie | 9 | 4 |
| Metallica | 4 | 4.25 |
| U2 | 4 | 4.25 |
| Paul Simon | 3 | 4.33 |
| Johnny Cash | 3 | 4.33 |
| Michael Jackson | 3 | 4.33 |
| The Cure | 3 | 4.33 |
| Pixies | 3 | 4.33 |
| Peter Gabriel | 3 | 4.33 |
| Frank Sinatra | 3 | 4.33 |
| Deep Purple | 3 | 4.33 |
Least Favorites
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Randy Newman | 2 | 1 |
| My Bloody Valentine | 3 | 1.67 |
| Fairport Convention | 2 | 1.5 |
| Grateful Dead | 2 | 1.5 |
| Sonic Youth | 5 | 2.2 |
| Leonard Cohen | 5 | 2.2 |
| Tim Buckley | 3 | 2 |
| Miles Davis | 4 | 2.25 |
Controversial
| Artist | Ratings |
|---|---|
| Pulp | 2, 5 |
| Fleetwood Mac | 5, 2 |
| Air | 4, 1 |
| Kendrick Lamar | 1, 4 |
| Barry Adamson | 4, 1 |
5-Star Albums (121)
View Album Wall
Popular Reviews
Muddy Waters
4/5
The album that inspired a generation of white British musicians to sound like poor versions of this album.
22 likes
Miles Davis
1/5
I think the time it would take to learn to enjoy listening to this album would be better spent enjoying not listening to this album.
12 likes
Bob Dylan
5/5
What a vibe. This album transports you. It picks you up and drops you into the midwest in the early 20th century, pours you a Jack Daniels, offers you a cigarette and tells you it's late night tales. An album that puts the world to rights. A few tracks could have lost a minute or ten which drops a half mark, but as we don't have half marks it gets the five.
10 likes
1-Star Albums (50)
All Ratings
Black Sabbath
4/5
Much more blues forward than I'd expected which lent itself to the darker macabre spendidly.
Buffalo Springfield
2/5
If you like folksy Americana then you might get something out of this. Well performed , well written but merges into the genre.
Sonic Youth
4/5
Unexpected grower. The first 3 or 4 tracks are pretty uninspiring but I just seemed to tune into it over time and by the end was enamoured. Interesting to hear bits that clearly inspired other bands. A like rather than a love but a definite moment in time.
John Coltrane
4/5
In your face JAZZ!!
If you can embrance the note avalanche and tumble in the chaos it's quite and experience.
Rather good.
Metallica
3/5
It’s nice, but pretty much a live best of with strings. Smooths out Metallica’s rough edges making more like a soundtrack to’ Metallica the Ride’. Nothing wrong with it for me the orchestra took more than they added.
The Police
4/5
A really good album covering many styles and genres. It feels like it's sitting on the cusp between punk, prog, pop, rock and reggae. Throw in a bit of jazz influence too. Side two has the hits and the album fizzles out a bit at the end but overall a really solid entry.
Bob Marley & The Wailers
4/5
I'm not the biggest reggae fan, but it's a pleasant album.
Dirty Projectors
3/5
Very enjoyable. Most likely a strong grower.
Def Leppard
3/5
Unapologetic pop rock. Sexist, dated and utterly brilliant. Of its era but a little joy.
Fela Kuti
3/5
Afrobeat, but predominently jazz. It's good and I enjoyed it, but it didn't change my life.
Sonic Youth
3/5
A bit uneven but a slicker production than their previous album. Kool Thing still the stand out track, but the whole album is a fun noise adventure.
Radiohead
4/5
Surprised I enjoyed this as much as I did. Mostly slow and introspective with quite a zen vibe. If you can tune in it's a ride worth taking.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
4/5
A near perfect album. An dark atmosphere of terrible tales told around a camp fire. At turns viscious, funny, sad and beautiful. Definitely worth a listen.
Red Snapper
2/5
It's ok but didn't grab me.
ZZ Top
3/5
Hit singles lifting a solid rock album that wears its blues history on its sleeve as a badge of honour. Nostalgia and knowing wink glosses over the sexism. A step into the mainstream for a jobbing rock band.
The Kinks
4/5
A fruit cake full of tasty treats with quite a bit of filler. I liked the number of shorter songs but some still managed to outlive their welcome. But the standout songs are still world class. A mixed bag.
T. Rex
4/5
Very T Rexy. Surprised by the amount of classic blues in there. Brilliantly produced and decent span of styles.
The Blue Nile
2/5
Mournful and boring. Every song outlives its welcome.
Kate Bush
3/5
Less than the sum of its parts. You could cherry pick the better songs but as a whole it disappoints.
The Sabres Of Paradise
4/5
A techno concept album. Worked for me.
Bobby Womack
3/5
Enjoyable to listen to but it doesn't stay with you.
David Bowie
3/5
Some gems, some filler. Ahead of the curve as ever and slightly odd for the Thin White Duke to predict the urban sould of the early 80's.
Fun Lovin' Criminals
5/5
I like it too much to be objective.
David Gray
3/5
Unashamedly bland, the clarion call of the middle class. The soundtrack to a million dinner parties. And while this is true it's better than you'd expect.
Ray Charles
4/5
I feel I've undermarked this because it's an amazing album with a real crossover that paved the way for so much. But I can't help but feel Ray Charles is at his bets with blues. This whitebread album could easily be for Sinatra which I guess is the point. It opened doors and is very good. But you know he's got more in him.
Jethro Tull
4/5
Prog, Proggy, Prog, Prog. Rather enjoyed it.
Hole
3/5
It felt like Grunge by numbers. Predominantly filler with the occassional lift. Treading well worn ground, but with a female viewpoint. I can see how it could inspire. By the end I'd warmed to it a touch otherwise it may have been a 2 star.
Slipknot
4/5
Loud and rawcous, but unexpectedly eclectic and musical. Made me feel like a disaffected youth again. RAAAAAAAAGH!!!
Flamin' Groovies
2/5
I'm not sure if these were trailblaizers or pioneers of modern rhythm and blues, but they sound like 99% of American rock bands from 68-72. If they set the sound fair enough, but they are buried under better versions.
Emmylou Harris
2/5
I kind of liked the title track but the rest left me cold. The mild electronic backing added next to nothing. Probably exciting if you were already a fan, but certainly not winning any.
Aphex Twin
3/5
Definately ambient. Some really good tracks balanced by some indifferent one. It was OK.
The Specials
5/5
A perfect snapshot in time. Life, politics and race in Britain. The kitchen sink dramas. The bottled aggression. Desperate and beautiful.
R.E.M.
3/5
Good. Solid. A bit bland. Couple of truly amazing songs and a few real self indulgent moments.
Buck Owens
4/5
A great little album. He's happy or he's sad and he's not afraid to sing about it.
Screaming Trees
2/5
Predominately blah. Maybe you had to be there.
The Stranglers
3/5
Moments of genius in plenty of filler. A rock band in a punk world.
Massive Attack
5/5
That was nice.
Pulp
2/5
Wasn’t that impressed at the time. Still not.
Morrissey
2/5
The singles carry at least one of these stars. Possibly two.
Neneh Cherry
3/5
A lot more enjoyable than I’d expected. It held up really well.
Nick Drake
4/5
Beautiful melancholy.
Fela Kuti
4/5
Not sure Tony Allen needed anyone to drum along, but still a joyous experience.
ABBA
4/5
Top notch pop from the ABBA-bots. Can't say I actually enjoyed it but I did very much appreciate it, like a nicely stacked shelf of tins or a well presented window display. Well done everybody.
Bob Dylan
5/5
What a vibe. This album transports you. It picks you up and drops you into the midwest in the early 20th century, pours you a Jack Daniels, offers you a cigarette and tells you it's late night tales. An album that puts the world to rights. A few tracks could have lost a minute or ten which drops a half mark, but as we don't have half marks it gets the five.
Tears For Fears
4/5
A rounded up three and a half. It's not so much dated as frozen in amber, but the bangers still hit home and it does feel like a coherent collection of songs. A proper album.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
3/5
Two cracking singles and plus Breaking The Girl and the title track save a bland melange of funk rock rap. Fop?
I think I'm saying the bad Fop outnumbers the good Fop 2 to 1, but the good Fop is twice as good as the bad Fop. Middle marks.
Depeche Mode
5/5
Another I'd have given 4.5 stars, but happy to round up. Musically strong, brilliantly produced, well presented album. Lyrics seem more a mood thing, but it was a ride I'd take again.
Sepultura
3/5
It is good, but it didn't particularly grab me. Wore it's influences a bit too much on its sleeve. Not enough to make me want to leave and go and listen to Metallica, but it was still there.
Supertramp
2/5
Come on guys! I mean seriously! Some tracks are nearly interesting prog, then bland soft rock moments kick in. I don’t think there’s a single track that I find good start to finish. And some of the longer tracks are really boring. Dreamer is OK if a touch longer than needed. Not a super album.
X-Ray Spex
4/5
Get's straight to the point. A brilliant and varied selection of little punk gems. Came close to full marks but I still find a couple of tracks difficult to connect with. Germ Free Adolescents is a stone cold classic.
Count Basie & His Orchestra
4/5
Enjoyable accessible jazz that became ubiquitous. A positive view into a jazz future that never happened.
Run-D.M.C.
4/5
A lot of the tracks are not just old school but prehistoric rap. That said it still wins you over and about half the tracks are bangers.
A Tribe Called Quest
4/5
Takes half an album to get going, but very good when it does.
4/5
A lot of nostalgia going on and fascinating to see a band on the way to where you know they're going. A few classic tracks here, but still a couple that are dragging their heels.
Lloyd Cole And The Commotions
2/5
Don't get me wrong I am all for a jangly guitar and a crooney sing-a-long but this album is mostly boring.
Bob Dylan
3/5
I wanted to like it more than I did. It had all the right bits, but you go straight into Rambling Bob. I think I wanted a little more foreplay.
Radiohead
4/5
I liked most of the tracks that didn't have that built in 'tune out' thing where you keep missing them. It's like they're invisible. How do they do that?
Joni Mitchell
3/5
This Joni Mitchell album has way too much Joni Mitchell in it. Less Joni please. I liked a lot of the music and was even surprised by a couple of songs, but less Joni would have made all of them better.
Sonic Youth
1/5
Really wasn't in the mood for this one. If you had no idea that if you hit a guitar it makes a noise for a bit and you had no concept of music then this may have some surprises for you. You'd have more fun picking up a guitar and hitting it at random yourself.
Milton Nascimento
5/5
Was not expecting this. Smooth, ecclectic, not hanging around. A new little joy that I'll be revisiting.
Wu-Tang Clan
5/5
No idea how such sweary, angry, mysoginistic, self aggrandising can feel so mellow and welcoming. Well done.
Fleet Foxes
3/5
Neither fleet nor foxy. Fair play for the folk revival. It's pleasant enough and a bit too smug. The biggest take away is how much I enjoy the cover painting. Pieter Bruegel the Elder rocks like the Fleet Foxes can only dream.
Coldplay
2/5
It probably deserves three stars but it bored my pants off more often than it didn't.
Talking Heads
3/5
LoVe hOW dAvId bYRne sInGS!
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
4/5
All that Nick Cave goodness, but it got a touch samey at times. Beautiful though.
Various Artists
4/5
A near perfect album with a creepy personal message from a murderer.
Marvin Gaye
4/5
Sexy time in the 1970’s. Smoooooth.
Gary Numan
4/5
He showed us the future. Now we live in cars.
Gillian Welch
3/5
Big bold ballsy bayou banjo blues n bluegrass. Bit boring.
Peter Tosh
2/5
Pleasant eloquent reggae without a single banger. Just mash.
Doves
2/5
They weren’t the first to do, they weren’t the best to do it, but they did it anyway. Couple of half decent singles on a mostly indifferent album.
Metallica
5/5
Never has a crossover album felt so good. Thirty years later and it still hits home. An absolute joy to listen to. Life is hard and no one understands me.
Fiona Apple
3/5
Not boring. Not great. More than a Tori Amos wannabe hitting a saucepan. Occassionally suprising. Often not.
Bad Brains
4/5
Like a weird buffet of your favourite foods stuck on your plate in odd combinations. Rock, punk, rap, funk, metal, and a bit of leftover late 70's/early 80's sneaking in now and again. I enjoyed this more than I expected to.
Ozomatli
3/5
The tracks on this album are like a box of chocolates. I didn't like half of them.
Paul Simon
4/5
That man can certainly write a song, even if he can't always keep your attention.
Bruce Springsteen
5/5
He Bossed it.
The Jam
4/5
The Wellerphant man in full force with some jems here, but a couple of duds steal a star.
David Bowie
4/5
When you know you've gotta go, you gotta go. Quite the way to go.
The Who
4/5
Pretentious, overblown, and up its own bottom. I still rather enjoyed it.
Johnny Cash
4/5
Whether it's the last works of a legend looking back over a long life, or someone let grandad do the karaoke, this is better than it should be. Hillariously some unwelcome duets and bizarre choices of arrangement manages to shoot themselves in the foot. A potential five star album given away.
Aretha Franklin
5/5
Taking Care of Business. How it took 10 albums until they found what Aretha was best at? Still the Queen of Soul.
Roxy Music
3/5
A two star album with a four star cover. Let's split the difference.
John Mayall & The Bluesbreakers
4/5
Was heading straight for a five stars, and then they had a drum solo.
Tim Buckley
2/5
Goodbye Tim Buckley.
Muddy Waters
4/5
The album that inspired a generation of white British musicians to sound like poor versions of this album.
Queens of the Stone Age
3/5
Occassionally brilliant, occassionally interesting, often just another 90's US rock band. If I'd discovered them at the time and no other 90's US rock bands ever existed then I'd have been a fan, but I didn't and they did. Nice try QOTSA, nice try.
Fatboy Slim
5/5
I know it shouldn't have 5 stars but when I enjoyed it that much what exactly are 5 stars for?
Mariah Carey
1/5
Butter-shit.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
5/5
Abattoir Blues sits on The Lyre of Orpheus like a chair, but it's a very nice chair. An albums (?) that I'll be going back to.
Jimi Hendrix
3/5
Aaargh! Surely this was a no brainer 5 star album. But listening to it it's so uneven. Some tracks are legendary, some borderline unlistenable, many just a bit flat. I'm disapointed Mr Hendrix.
Miriam Makeba
3/5
That was an unexpected slice of Africa served up in an easy listening sandwich. More Africa and less not-Africa and it would have gotten another star.
Ice Cube
4/5
Fork, fork, forkity fork. Guns. Fork.
Stevie Wonder
4/5
So many styles. So many songs. Such a solid groove and tone. Four classic bangers. Some tracks need shaving.
Missy Elliott
3/5
Definitely under construction. The finished Missy articles are great, the rest needs work.
The Young Rascals
2/5
One stone cold classic soul song, one well know pure 60's pop hit. Throw in some baladeering, some straight rock and a spattering of everything inbetween and you get a band who don't sound like themselves. There doesn't seem to be a Young Rascals sound, and I for one am prepared to hold that against them.
Jane Weaver
2/5
We listened to it. It was music.
Beatles
5/5
A smorgasbord of styles all with an unistakable Beatles feel, which is weird but I liked it. A concept album without a central concept, which appears to be the concept, unless it isn't. I even like the 'lesser' tracks which build the landscape. An album of 'We do this, which is showing off, and you can listen if you want' An album to Muso over.
Tom Waits
4/5
Jazz burlesque stand up poetry, LIVE!!
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
4/5
The Elephant's Graveyard of the Laurel Canyon sound.
Michael Jackson
4/5
Not Bad.
3/5
Singalong Pomp for stadiums.
Kid Rock
1/5
This album left me embarrased for everyone. Let's never speak of it again.
Joan Baez
3/5
Nowt so strange as folk.
Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
4/5
OMG OMD. IMHO FAB.
5/5
He’s an alligator. He said so.
The Band
3/5
Like a pastel Stars and Stripes this is very American and unchallenging. The smooth and easy sound that launched a thousand smooth and easy clones. Zzzzzzzzzz.....
Alanis Morissette
4/5
Men, huh?
Pentangle
3/5
Blues folk. Bloke.
The Byrds
2/5
I am disturbed by your lack of jangle.
Frank Ocean
1/5
frank ocean is a boring poopy-pants and i don't like him
Super Furry Animals
2/5
Adequate Furry Animals.
The Human League
4/5
I'm not entitrely sure what Love Action is, but they've got it in spades.
Merle Haggard
2/5
The A to B of country and western.
Dr. Dre
3/5
The album that paved the way to the smooth sounds of The Fresh prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff.
Cream
4/5
Supergroup, good album, average title, poor last track.
The Cure
4/5
Minimalist gloom. Moom.
Fiona Apple
3/5
Can she do mainstream? Yes she can.
Is it any good? Tidal-y.
-boom tish-
(gets coat)
Ute Lemper
2/5
Torchsong album that mostly fizzles.
The Rolling Stones
3/5
Why is it always jam today?
Pub rock, rockin' the pub.
The White Stripes
4/5
Red, white and blues.
Iron Maiden
5/5
Woe to you, oh earth and sea, for Maiden sent this beast with rock!
Brian Eno
2/5
It began. It ended. Inbetween it played for eternity. It haunts me still. Like a poltergiest.
Korn
1/5
Krap
Dire Straits
4/5
Audio semolina. What's not to like?
Dusty Springfield
4/5
Yes. It probably is Dusty in Memphis. I blame the pyramids.
That said she sings like a warm cuddle.
Kraftwerk
4/5
Not Krap.
Violent Femmes
4/5
Sounds like they released the demo, but it works. Angry acoustic. Angroustic.
Supergrass
4/5
Precocious teenagers set in aspic. Still fun.
Booker T. & The MG's
3/5
Cheese and Onions.
The Doors
3/5
Didn’t really light my fire.
Prefab Sprout
2/5
Steve McQueen didn't really jump the fence.
Traffic
2/5
Left me as cold as poor dead John Barleycorn.
Mudhoney
3/5
Named after their favourite effects peddles, narrowly beating the Big Boobs 500X.
Sufjan Stevens
2/5
The song titles are more interesting than the songs.
Incredible Bongo Band
4/5
They’re the kings of bongo baby.
Femi Kuti
3/5
A chip off the block.
SAULT
4/5
Yes, Black certainly Is. Well done everybody.
The Rolling Stones
4/5
In a parallel universe of beards and eye patches this would have been The White Album. Misogyny aside it’s a near miss. Ironically misogyny included and it’s a miss.
Joni Mitchell
3/5
Lyrical songsmith weaving gentle poetic stories of the open road and freedom. Being trapped in a lift with her whilst she did this would be hell on earth.
David Bowie
4/5
Very comfortable, but running a touch late.
3/5
Angry love songs with production set to 11.
Aerosmith
3/5
Single entendre, double entendre, triple entendre. Something for everyone.
Jah Wobble's Invaders Of The Heart
2/5
A trip around the world with a really annoying boring nasal man.
Steely Dan
3/5
Amiable audio wallpaper.
OutKast
3/5
Some tracks are so fresh and clean, other leave me ice cold.
Blue Cheer
2/5
Blue Boo. I guess you had to be there.
Miles Davis
1/5
I think the time it would take to learn to enjoy listening to this album would be better spent enjoying not listening to this album.
Koffi Olomide
3/5
Jaunty music from a dubious man who is probably available as a handyman at a price you can afford!
Michael Jackson
4/5
Michael Jackson's Back In Black. Funky little Disco album.
Burning Spear
4/5
I was expecting a burning spear of anger and righteousness and got a welcoming circle of friends warming their hands.
John Martyn
4/5
Zzzzzzzzvvvvrrrrrr ZzzzzzzzGgggguuuuuuudddd ZZZZaaaallllbbbmmmmmzzzz
Skunk Anansie
4/5
Chilled and Orgasmic.
Cypress Hill
4/5
The birth of nasal rap.
Steely Dan
2/5
Audio equivalent of a sensory deprivation tank. It nothing’d me.
The Cure
4/5
Does not work as pornography.
Scott Walker
4/5
Dark crooning for the win.
The Replacements
3/5
Hardly original, but I can Let That Be.
Motörhead
4/5
The pleasure was to play.
Beastie Boys
4/5
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!
Cat Stevens
3/5
You are young. That's your fault.
Patti Smith
3/5
Can women rock? Yes they can.
Suzanne Vega
3/5
Suzanne Vega/Suzanne Vega = Suzanne Vega = 1
Simply Red
2/5
Simply Shite.
Belle & Sebastian
3/5
Jingly Indgly
Curtis Mayfield
4/5
The world is a smooth and terrible place.
Frank Zappa
2/5
Rats could have been hotter.
Jimmy Smith
2/5
Finger lickin' just some jazz.
Fleetwood Mac
5/5
The Rumours are all true.
5/5
2 me. 2 U.
Adele
2/5
A couple of bangers bookend well sung average songs. A 'meh' sandwich.
Taylor Swift
3/5
Pop! Pop! Pop!
The Sugarcubes
4/5
A 'kids in the dressing up box' of an album, but it just works.
Elliott Smith
2/5
Neither Nor.
4/5
Pop music through a glass darkly.
Jane's Addiction
2/5
Nothing shocking. Nothing gained.
The Saints
2/5
You don't understand! They had class. They could have been contenders, they could have been somebody, instead of bums, which is what they are.
Beck
2/5
Sea Change Beck. Hope Change Back.
Simon & Garfunkel
5/5
Folk’in good.
Beatles
4/5
They broke the mould and made a new one.
Justice
2/5
No Justice. Just us.
Buena Vista Social Club
2/5
Too gentle to stir the soul.
Kanye West
3/5
Kanye no.
Beastie Boys
3/5
The Beastie Frat Boys.
Run-D.M.C.
4/5
That's the way it is.
Tina Turner
3/5
In context an amazing comeback built on mostly covers. But no, I don't want to see her do the shimmy again.
Roxy Music
3/5
Foxy Music.
Jefferson Airplane
2/5
Grounded.
Faust
3/5
Sold their soul to be ‘palatable’
The Waterboys
1/5
He sings with the strained anguish of a man with terrible hemorrhoids.
Air
4/5
Les garçons sexy.
Adele
3/5
About 4 years better than the last one.
Björk
5/5
Violently Happy.
Saint Etienne
3/5
Foxbase Beta.
Bruce Springsteen
3/5
So saxy I mistook it for Meatloaf.
Def Leppard
3/5
Better to burn out with Pyromania than fade away like Def Leppard.
Eels
4/5
Freaky and beautiful.
Sepultura
4/5
Max to the Max.
Björk
4/5
Twee might in the twilight.
The National
3/5
You're turing Violet, Violet!
Bob Dylan
5/5
Moaning and droning to perfection.
Oasis
3/5
Definitely dated.
Ray Price
2/5
I didn't know God made Honky Tonk angels
Todd Rundgren
4/5
One for the Onionheads.
Aerosmith
3/5
Does what it says on the tin.
Harry Nilsson
2/5
Ken Leeeeeee! tulibu dibu douchoo.
Deerhunter
2/5
Sssssslllllllllllloooooooooowwwwwwwwww.
Lucinda Williams
2/5
Inoffensive and unexceptional country music
Richard Thompson
1/5
If they want to see the bright lights tonight I'm happy to let them and I hope they're a long, long way away.
Manu Chao
4/5
The undisputed King of Bongo, baby.
N.W.A.
4/5
Amazing album with dated atitudes.
Van Halen
3/5
It ain't the worst that I've seen.
Rufus Wainwright
2/5
Want Two: Buckle My Shoe.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgivings. (A big 4.5)
System Of A Down
2/5
Down, down, deeper and down.
David Bowie
4/5
Bowie Lowie, Eno ELow.
Japan
2/5
David Sylvian's hair.
The Undertones
4/5
Got to love a Mars Bar.
The Stone Roses
4/5
Beneath the hype is a pretty decent album.
Cocteau Twins
3/5
dice.blink.luck in What3Words is near Hebden Bridge in Yorkshire.
Common
2/5
The Common Bee.
Public Enemy
4/5
Once again back is the incredible.
Billy Joel
4/5
I'll take it just the way it is.
Led Zeppelin
3/5
A perfect rock opener leads into a mixed bag of decent blues rock and overblown self indulgence.
Fats Domino
3/5
Taken as individual tracks this is brilliant, but they're not an album. It's just a collection.
The Smiths
4/5
They started something. Still hate his voice.
Lauryn Hill
3/5
That girl can sing, can sing, can si-i-i-i-ng.
Elbow
3/5
Wears middle age like a comfortable pair of slippers.
Prince
5/5
Purple reign.
The Strokes
2/5
Three good songs buried in mediocre. Less than the sum of its parts.
CHIC
2/5
Pas mal.
Dinosaur Jr.
3/5
A really great album of forgettable songs.
David Bowie
3/5
I wanted to like it more,
but it fell wanking to the floor.
The Last Shadow Puppets
2/5
If the Arctic Monkeys were possessed by Scott Walker.
Ray Charles
3/5
If frontloading the album with bangers is genius then he totally is. Then side two is nice and quiet so you can have a little nap.
Michael Jackson
5/5
Rilluh! Rilluh! Rilluh!
Neu!
3/5
Just because it’s ALT!
Marilyn Manson
3/5
Glam Goth.
Haircut 100
2/5
Fuck those horns.
Lou Reed
4/5
Grim Teutonic sleaze .
James Brown
3/5
Ow! Huh! Waaaaaah! Huh! Wooooooah! Good God!
Anthrax
4/5
NFA. Nice Fukin Album.
Queen
3/5
Filler, Queen.
Machito
3/5
Predicted the mid to late Sixties in the mid to late Fifties.
The Chemical Brothers
4/5
Back with another cock blocking beat.
Miles Davis
2/5
Smashing expectations by almost playing a tune.
Hookworms
3/5
Hookworms lack hooks or earworms.
Keith Jarrett
4/5
Seventies ivory tickling.
Johnny Cash
4/5
Behind Honky Tonk Bars.
The Smiths
4/5
A rigged algorithm to serve us a deceased monarch the day after our monarch deceased. That aside it's a excellent album fronted by a whining whinger.
Public Enemy
4/5
Angry rap. The best kind.
Mike Ladd
3/5
Love the angry racial sci-fi.
Pixies
3/5
Slack Francis
Ryan Adams
2/5
The Winter of '69.
LCD Soundsystem
3/5
A sad voice you can dance to.
Jeff Beck
3/5
Jeff Beck's endless Blues-O-Matic.
2/5
This relationship is unhealthy. Move on.
Q-Tip
2/5
It came and went without offending or exciting. I didn't notice it leave.
Brian Eno
5/5
Kinda Prog. Kinda Glam. It's Pram.
Moby
4/5
If Run On was the last track it would be a five star.
Depeche Mode
5/5
De-Peach.
Eminem
4/5
Proves that you can polish a turd.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
4/5
"He`s got a mind like a sewer and a heart like a fridge"
The Afghan Whigs
1/5
Great moments buried in shit.
George Michael
3/5
Freedom from bangers.
Pink Floyd
5/5
Darky Dark and the Proggy Bunch.
Bob Dylan
4/5
It’s a folkin’ knees up.
KISS
3/5
KISS & makeup.
Leonard Cohen
2/5
Like a turd on a wire.
Beatles
5/5
Abbey ever after.
Public Enemy
4/5
Brought tha Noize.
Gotan Project
3/5
You’ve been Tango’d.
Orbital
3/5
Snivilised.
Alice Cooper
4/5
Slicker than a weasel.
2/5
No
Earth, Wind & Fire
3/5
Distinct lack of Water.
Alice In Chains
4/5
Don't do drugs kids.
Beatles
5/5
Bang!
MC Solaar
4/5
Pas mal monsieur. Pas mal.
My Bloody Valentine
2/5
Less loved.
Supergrass
3/5
It's Alright.
The Velvet Underground
3/5
SZA
2/5
Ctrl+C Ctrl+V
Todd Rundgren
2/5
Needed sleeve notes. And editing down to a single album. And even then it's a 3.
George Harrison
3/5
All things must pass, but some take a bloody long time to.
The White Stripes
3/5
Red, white and blues.
Caetano Veloso
2/5
Needed more artistic cannibalism.
Richard Hawley
4/5
A nice sit down and a cup of tea of an album.
Led Zeppelin
4/5
Standard rule applies. A double album that could have been a better single album.
New Order
4/5
New Division.
Led Zeppelin
3/5
Immigrants, coming here from a land of ice and snow, singing their songs, driving their ships to new lands...
Pixies
5/5
Rosa Sparks.
Gene Clark
2/5
Any other.
Living Colour
2/5
Insipid.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
4/5
Sleep never rusts.
Joy Division
5/5
Close enough.
Cyndi Lauper
3/5
Cyndi Looper. Time After Time.
The Allman Brothers Band
2/5
The guitar solo... the endless solo... the squeeling... the wailing.. the solo... there is only solo... all is the solo.. we are the solo... all praise the solo... please make it end...
Grizzly Bear
1/5
At the start of this album I felt that each track was at least 2 minutes too long, but as the album continued I felt that they could all fuck off entirely.
The Pharcyde
2/5
Passed me by.
Dead Kennedys
4/5
Uber Alles.
Paul Simon
5/5
Shortarsed song thieving genius.
Beth Orton
2/5
Many reservations. But I liked the half where she sounded like Carole King.
Anita Baker
1/5
Sweet FA.
Le Tigre
4/5
I know neither who put nor took the bop to or from the bop be bop be bop.
Lynyrd Skynyrd
4/5
Roh-kee Hon-kee Ton-kee.
The Smashing Pumpkins
3/5
You can see greatness from here like you can see Versailles from the bins.
Antony and the Johnsons
4/5
Beautiful album when listened to on a cold dark night. Had it been on a sunny beach it may have lost a point.
Beastie Boys
4/5
Shook my rump-a.
Radiohead
3/5
Forgettable.
Talking Heads
3/5
FOM oh.
The Teardrop Explodes
4/5
Rewarding.
The Crusaders
1/5
A great 4 minutes in an endless soup of saxophone.
The Verve
4/5
Our ban hims? Political.
Arcade Fire
3/5
A slow journey from ‘It’s a bit rubbish’ to ‘I quite like this’ through a few ‘Oh, it’s that one’ on the way. I reckon multiple listens would wear into a favourite like an old comfortable pair of shoes.
Songhoy Blues
4/5
You can't stop the music. Nobody can stop the music.
Lightning Bolt
3/5
No noise annoys as a noisy noise annoys.
Stephen Stills
3/5
A rockin journey through the Southern States locked in the boot of a car. Please let me out.
R.E.M.
3/5
RumRumRem
Otis Redding
5/5
Otis Blue, Farrow & Ball.
Bad Company
2/5
Bad.
Tom Waits
5/5
Like a drunk grizzly bear in depression era New York trying to sing to you about its broken heart.
Sarah Vaughan
5/5
And just like that -click- I was a Sarah Vaughan fan.
Genesis
3/5
This lamb is bland. I ordered spicy.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
3/5
Like panning for gold. There’s a nugget or two.
The Modern Lovers
4/5
If I were a Richman…
Megadeth
3/5
Possibly I’ve seen too much.
Dwight Yoakam
1/5
Where country music went to die.
The Verve
2/5
The same as Urban Hymns but without any good tracks.
The Flaming Lips
3/5
It would be tragic if those evil robots win.
Jane's Addiction
4/5
Like slapping yourself in the face. In a good way.
The Isley Brothers
4/5
N-Isley done...
...I'll get my coat.
2/5
A challenging listen. Part genius, part endurance test, part Stockholm Syndrome, part jazz band falls down staircase.
John Lee Hooker
4/5
Santana takes Hooker's raw blues and serves them overcooked. Other than that a decent album.
Iggy Pop
4/5
Kraut-Punk
Spiritualized
3/5
Sounding just like Screamadelica and only 6 years later.
Rocket From The Crypt
2/5
The best it can be accused of is breaking old ground.
Blur
3/5
One great track and half a good album.
Jacques Brel
3/5
Gallic concentrate.
The Byrds
3/5
Jangle but backwards. Elgnaj.
The Hives
3/5
Still prefer an Elastic Band.
Elvis Presley
3/5
Elvis is back, but he left most of his rock n roll at home.
The Birthday Party
4/5
It's my party and I'll angrily scream about dark oblivion if I want to.
Sisters Of Mercy
4/5
Hey now. Hey then. Hey how you doin'?
The Mamas & The Papas
3/5
Didn’t get to listen on a Monday, Monday. What were they thinking?
Bob Marley & The Wailers
4/5
Exeter! Movement of Jaa People!
Peter Frampton
4/5
Let the guitar do the talking.
Nas
3/5
East Coast rap meets West Coast rap and ends up in field in Kansas.
Iggy Pop
4/5
Dance like hypnotised chickens.
Wire
4/5
Red flag for danger. White flag for surrender. Pink flag for watch out I’m giving up = punk.
GZA
3/5
Lacking Clan.
Green Day
5/5
Tres cool.
The Notorious B.I.G.
3/5
Effin and jeffin for ages. Lose half an hour, half the swearing and all the (hopefully) simulated sex and you’d have a cracking album.
Billy Bragg
4/5
Like a Red Bragg to a bull.
PJ Harvey
4/5
She's so much better since she split from Duncan.
Van Halen
4/5
Wield the axe. Smell the spandex.
LCD Soundsystem
4/5
Sound of Silver, second place.
Dr. Octagon
4/5
Dr Octopussy.
Morrissey
2/5
The clever lyrics of how he actually is the asshole people say he is turned out to be true. Triple bluff.
The Prodigy
4/5
A touch flabby.
Neil Young
3/5
I think he'd been listening to a lot of Dylan when he did this.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
3/5
Bit boggy.
Portishead
4/5
What if we did trip-hop on a ukelele? This.
Garbage
4/5
Every day is bin day with Garbage.
Peter Gabriel
3/5
Saw the top 10 singles one week in 1976 and thought, I could do that.
Talking Heads
3/5
And you may find some songs thrown together onto an album and you may ask yourself 'How did they get here?'
Gang Of Four
5/5
Gang of Whoop!
Boston
4/5
Set phasers to ROCK! (Soft rock)
Cornershop
2/5
Cornershop didn’t have what I wanted.
Elton John
3/5
Blatant attempt to crack America, but it worked. We’ll done Elton.
The Kinks
3/5
If it ain’t Baroque don’t fix it.
Weather Report
1/5
And today’s forecast is bland with possible schmooz later.
Einstürzende Neubauten
2/5
Angry German hits saucepan with spoon.
Brian Eno
4/5
Ian Breno. Other Ween Gran.
The Beach Boys
2/5
Surf’s dead.
Leonard Cohen
2/5
If you’re happy and you know it go elsewhere.
Mike Oldfield
3/5
Amiable meandering bollocks.
Ian Dury
4/5
Young and old and gone.
Röyksopp
3/5
Inoffensive lobby music.
Django Django
3/5
I like the one that starts ‘Ha-ha-ha-kop-buh-buh-me-me-me-kop-ha-ha-me-me-me’ etc.
Pet Shop Boys
5/5
Pure proud pop.
Queen
4/5
They really let everyone have a crack at this album, and it mostly works. Who new that BoRap wasn't the most epic song on it?
TLC
2/5
Saneambivalenttepid
Marty Robbins
3/5
Jaunty tales of tragedies.
Billie Holiday
3/5
Tangled up in schamltz.
Neil Young
3/5
I’d always thought Harvest Moon would be on this album. Shows how much I know.
The War On Drugs
3/5
And with his last breath Mark Knopfler gasped out ‘Take my haunted guitar and keep fighting the war on drugs….’
Kate Bush
5/5
A perfect album.
Sheryl Crow
4/5
Listened on a Thursday which threw me. She sings well for a crow.
Sister Sledge
5/5
Now I’m living in Exeter!
Crowded House
3/5
A few pleasant singles in a very long 48 minutes. Woodn'tface.
Derek & The Dominos
2/5
Layla and other assorted filler.
Leonard Cohen
2/5
I want it lighter.
Bert Jansch
2/5
Blues rock in a hobby shop.
Little Simz
4/5
From the top of the flats.
PJ Harvey
4/5
Let England Rattle. Let England Roll.
Sebadoh
2/5
Bauble and scrap.
Mylo
3/5
You're not destroying anything with this soft and fluffy item.
Tim Buckley
2/5
Less shit than his other album.
Steely Dan
2/5
Ricky, lose the number.
Paul McCartney and Wings
4/5
Life after Beatles.
My Bloody Valentine
1/5
I'm fine with the fact they feel the need to do this, but please can they please fuck off somewhere else to do it.
Spiritualized
3/5
Sleepy time rave.
Simon & Garfunkel
5/5
Clown Hair and Tiny knock it out of the park.
Taylor Swift
3/5
Depressed and self involved on a loop for evermore.
Tricky
4/5
It rocks and rhymes that’s right on time.
Fred Neil
3/5
Green Rocky Road would comfortably sit on a Led Zeppelin album. Weird.
The Clash
4/5
London called while you were out. Please contact us to arrange a new delivery.
Fairport Convention
1/5
I no longer beLiege and Lief after love.
Frank Sinatra
4/5
Scoobidy-doo, to be Frank.
The Smiths
2/5
Forty minutes of indifferent jangle-whine.
Parliament
4/5
Forty minutes of James Brown not turning up for the vocals.
Arcade Fire
4/5
Putting the fun into funeral.
Beatles
4/5
You can still taste the enthusiasm.
Napalm Death
2/5
It had to be done and they did it. Well done.
The United States Of America
3/5
They threw everything at the wall and some of it stuck.
Elis Regina
2/5
The first album (I've seen) on here not to have its own Wikipedia page or any reference to it on her bio page. Maybe the secret nature of the album is how it made the list! It's a rather bland slice of the Seventies but at least it's a secret bland slice.
Spacemen 3
3/5
3 spacemen walk Into a bar, then turned around and left. There was no atmosphere.
Bonnie "Prince" Billy
3/5
Cheer up Billy. Remember you're a bonnie prince.
The Monkees
3/5
Hey, hey now! Hey, hey, now, now!
Tom Waits
5/5
He growls! He croons! He funks! Roll up! Roll up! One night only folks!
The Cardigans
2/5
Woolly.
ZZ Top
3/5
Tres estrellas.
(Couldn’t resist it)
The Kinks
4/5
Well preserved.
Aimee Mann
2/5
Whatever
Frank Sinatra
5/5
Nelson Riddles' orchestration reminds me of the Top Cat theme tune, and that's no bad thing.
The Rolling Stones
4/5
Epic bread wraps a solid chug sandwich.
The Triffids
2/5
Like someone trying to explain New Wave and Goth five years after it happened to someone living in a cave.
Bruce Springsteen
3/5
A heartfelt slice of more of the same.
2Pac
1/5
This sounds like a Will Smith album if it was made by the ‘Keep my wife’s name out of your fucking mouth’ Will Smith.
Alice Cooper
4/5
School’s out! Let’s rock, jazz, funk and musical! Yeah!
Ella Fitzgerald
5/5
Ella-Ella-Ella Fitz-Gera-Gera-Gera-ld. with Gersh for the win.
Sly & The Family Stone
3/5
Not Sly enough. Not Stoned enough.
The Gun Club
3/5
Ok, influential, sure, but too much US punk just sounds like shouty rockabilly.
Roni Size
3/5
Broke new ground and outstayed it’s welcome within one album.
Elvis Costello
3/5
Close up on the sign that says 'We never close'
Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
4/5
It made me want to get up and shuffle with my fist on my forehead.
Jimi Hendrix
5/5
An experience.
Randy Newman
1/5
Sail away and keep going. You sound like Billy Joel after a stroke. And asking Woody to ‘just leave his hat on’ is really weird.
Donovan
3/5
Sunshine, check. Young girl, check. Wizard, check. Lute, check. Sitar, check. You shall ride, check. That’s Donovan Bingo!
Funkadelic
5/5
Doom funk.
Sinead O'Connor
3/5
Begorrah! Shamrocks, leprechauns and a diddly-diddly-diddly o’ the morning’ to yah. Oirish!
Dolly Parton
2/5
They wish. Duo.
Van Morrison
3/5
Slightly concerned he’s singing about showing his bottom.
The Soft Boys
2/5
Forgotten at the time. Will be forgotten in the future.
Goldfrapp
3/5
Melancholic whimsy.
Sugar
2/5
Mouldy
1/5
Wordsmith, dream weaver, conscience of a generation, god awful singer, shocking he went electric because the songs were fucking shit.
Janelle Monáe
4/5
It's the Monáe.
Cee Lo Green
2/5
Forget you.
Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
3/5
Milking it.
The Slits
4/5
Atypical girls.
Dr. John
4/5
Delta force.
The Rolling Stones
4/5
If it ain't broke...
The Beach Boys
4/5
More harmonies! MORE HARMONIES !!
M.I.A.
4/5
Tricky to maintian my righteous anger for a whole album.
Baaba Maal
3/5
Baaba Maal Doo-doo-da-doo-da-doo.
Miles Davis
3/5
Many miles to go.
Rahul Dev Burman
3/5
Two of these stars are for' One, Two Cha Cha Cha' which is so wrong in all the right ways.
James Taylor
2/5
Sweet Fanny Adams.
Leonard Cohen
2/5
Call it good. Call it bad. Call it anything you want to, baby.
Curtis Mayfield
5/5
Super and indeed fly.
Ice Cube
4/5
This album sounds a lot like Stevie Wonder got in with a bad crowd.
Black Sabbath
5/5
If anything this tells us that a man can be turned to steel by a great magnetic field, which makes him iron.
Queen Latifah
4/5
The Soul Children still weird me out.
Bob Dylan
5/5
Brought it all back home. Not sure where we'll keep it.
Black Flag
3/5
They’ve got balls, but mostly bollocks.
The Byrds
3/5
Width, length, depth, country and jangle. Jangle is the fifth dimension.
Fever Ray
2/5
If one of my mates had made this album I'd think it was great. Being presented it I feel it sounds like something one of my mates would make.
Sade
2/5
The Marquis de Sade. Smooth torture.
The Black Crowes
1/5
Reheated leftovers.
50 Cent
1/5
Shitty Scent.
Iron Butterfly
3/5
Somehow sounding like a Doors, Hendrix, Kinks and Beatles cover band all at the same time.
Van Morrison
2/5
It felt like weeks.
Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five
5/5
This album so over delivers that even the self sabotage of a love song to Stevie Wonder can't steal a star.
2/5
Pants on fire.
Marvin Gaye
3/5
A double album of smooth, groovy vibes to vent about your divorce as part of you alimony settlement. Dick move Marvin. Dick move.
Hanoi Rocks
3/5
Ha(ir) + Noi(se) Rocks!
OutKast
3/5
It’s alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright.
Nirvana
4/5
Maybe I’m dumb but I’m not going to rape him or eat his cancer.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
2/5
One nation! Inflation! Dubba dubba dubba dubba constipation!
T. Rex
3/5
Boogie woogie shoogie oogie.
Radiohead
5/5
A-OK Computer.
The Temptations
3/5
I got caught listening to the Papa Was A Rolling Stone radio edit so got locked in a cupboard with the 12 minute album version to teach me a lesson. Never again.
The Louvin Brothers
3/5
Nothing like a happy sad cowboy's tales of woe to pick you right up.
Soundgarden
3/5
All wheat, all chaff.
Stan Getz
4/5
How babies were made in the 1960’s.
The Byrds
2/5
Just some good old Byrds. Wouldn’t change if they could. Fighting the law just like some new modern day Robin Hood.
The Flaming Lips
3/5
A couple of bangers in a bowl of sleep soup.
Method Man
4/5
Tical’d pink.
Minor Threat
2/5
One small step for a band, one giant leap for US Punk-kind.
Big Star
4/5
Big sad.
Skepta
2/5
Didn’t talk to me, for me or even at me. Sayonara.
Echo And The Bunnymen
4/5
Delta and the Bunnygirls. Surely a 1960's B-movie. Would watch.
The Killers
5/5
I’ve got ham but I’m not a hamster.
Robert Wyatt
3/5
It was bollocks and I did enjoy it.
Country Joe & The Fish
3/5
Much copied and mostly bettered.
fIREHOSE
3/5
Jack of all styles, master of none.
PJ Harvey
4/5
Pyjama Harvey sounds like they should be on Cartoon Network.
The Jesus And Mary Chain
4/5
Rock and roll but sadder.
The Streets
5/5
“I just stopped sharking for a minute to get chips and drinks.”
Bee Gees
2/5
Shit Beatles, shit Beach Boys, shit Donovan, shit Kinks. So much variety. So shit.
Circle Jerks
4/5
Boom and out.
Pet Shop Boys
3/5
Well written poignant songs with arrangements that aged like milk.
Madonna
4/5
Yes it was.
Peter Gabriel
5/5
You’re wrapped in his word for 45 minutes. A great place to visit.
Public Image Ltd.
2/5
Not entirely Rotten.
The Cure
5/5
Crime is a disease. Here’s The Cure.
Simon & Garfunkel
5/5
Making a positive of not wanting to be at Widnes Station.
Mekons
3/5
If it was little better it would be great. If it was a little worse it would be awful. But it wasn’t.
The Mars Volta
2/5
A bit lousy, a bit comatose.
Paul Revere & The Raiders
3/5
A lot of fun even if they sound like every other band of the era but without the hits.
The Beta Band
3/5
Shots could have been hotter.
Love
2/5
Da Crapo
Serge Gainsbourg
4/5
Creates trip hop 20 years early and uses it to fantasise about shagging children. So very French.
The Vines
3/5
What if The Strokes became a BritPop band?
The 13th Floor Elevators
4/5
A gibbering electric jug? Don’t mind if I do.
The Police
4/5
Bangers and mush.
Jean-Michel Jarre
5/5
Jean Claude Van Jarre parts 1-6. Pew! Pew! Pew?
The Beau Brummels
3/5
Moche Brummels.
Elvis Costello
3/5
“But it`s by Julie Andrews
And not by John Coltrane”
Jamiroquai
4/5
The introduction of massive hats to popular music.
U2
4/5
Now with Coconuts!
The Auteurs
1/5
Poor show.
Stephen Stills
4/5
The power of friends.
Big Brother & The Holding Company
3/5
You can almost taste them.
Metallica
4/5
Arms and legs everywhere.
Scissor Sisters
4/5
Cutting a rug.
Morrissey
3/5
“So what shall we call the album?”
“Well, he’s usually introduced on stage as ‘Here he is. He’s an arse! He’s your arse! He’s Morrissey!’”
“We can work with that.”
Janis Joplin
3/5
Nailing the wailing.
King Crimson
4/5
Turning rock into bollocks since 1969.
Jungle Brothers
4/5
Liked, not loved.
Ramones
5/5
Musically I'd never really rated the Ramones. I love the look and I love the attitude, but musically I couldn't see the fuss. Most of it seemed like old fashioned rock n roll. Blitzkrieg Bop, Rockaway Beach and Rock and Roll High School could easliy be tracks by Bill Haley and The Comets. The glam pop of Baby I Love could have been by The Rubettes. It didn't make sense that they should be considered punk. Then I heard this. Turns out they were hiding the punk in the album tracks. I was wrong. This is a punk album and this is great.
Thundercat
3/5
About 15 minutes too long, Snarf!
The Cramps
3/5
Don't eat before swimming.
Pink Floyd
5/5
Overblown and self indulgent. What more do you want from a rock opera?
Blondie
5/5
What I find is pleasing and I'm feeling fine.
Pink Floyd
2/5
Poopers at the Gates of Dawn.
The Monks
4/5
Hey! Hey! They’re the Monks. And people say the monk around.
Rage Against The Machine
5/5
Gather round the piano for an old fashioned family shout along.
Rush
4/5
Utter bollocks and a lot of fun.
Mudhoney
2/5
This album doesn’t even have the common decency to be bad. It’s just meh.
Tom Waits
5/5
This album practically smells like a wet dog.
Nirvana
5/5
I’m so horny. That’s Ok, my Willy’s good.
The Coral
4/5
The 1960’s called and they want their tunes back.
Primal Scream
3/5
When it was good it was very, very good,
But when it was bad it was bollocks.
Isaac Hayes
2/5
I couldn’t dig it.
Ladysmith Black Mambazo
4/5
Soweto sleepy-time tunes.
Orbital
5/5
Loop-dee-loop.
The Charlatans
4/5
Be my Spider-Woman I’ll be your Spider-Man.
Michael Kiwanuka
4/5
P to the leasant.
The Jam
4/5
The Sixties with a spiky sneer.
Massive Attack
4/5
Mostly marvellous.
Orange Juice
3/5
Rip it up and leave it.
Stevie Wonder
3/5
You joyous highs. The woeful lows.
Throwing Muses
4/5
Sat in that sweet spot between excellent support band and disappointing headliner.
k.d. lang
3/5
Erm… thanks k.d. ... nice Patsy Cline impression … erm… thanks…
Bon Jovi
3/5
Jon Bum Bogey.
Dolly Parton
4/5
I have some questions about Mamma.
Gorillaz
4/5
Caught up in a conflict between the brain and the tail.
King Crimson
4/5
Larks and japes.
Tortoise
2/5
Tortoise taught us little.
TV On The Radio
2/5
Dear TV On The Radio, please start playing better tunes or shut the fuck up.
Grateful Dead
2/5
The grateful deaf.
Heaven 17
4/5
The 80’s cheese embellished dour synth pop won me over, and we still don’t need that fascist groove thing.
Nick Drake
3/5
Had I ever asked what folk music would sound like if it was a little bit more jazzy then this album would have been a perfectly adequate answer. But I didn't ask and they did it anyway.
Steve Winwood
3/5
Wrapped in his cheesy duvet.
Stereolab
2/5
Boff
Pavement
3/5
Curb crawler.
The Fall
4/5
mAAAArk eEEEEEE smIIIIIIIIiIth.
The White Stripes
3/5
Stay in front Satan. I want to be able to see you, you sneaky varmant.
Can
3/5
Could Can? Can Can? Can cannot.
Brian Wilson
4/5
It sounds like a nervous breakdown, in a good way.
Joni Mitchell
4/5
Shrill Carole King.
Randy Newman
1/5
Randy, no. Just no.
Kanye West
3/5
I'd expected it to be rubbish and it wasn't. I mean the talky bits were, but in general it was quite acceptable.
Jerry Lee Lewis
4/5
Goodness gracious.
Prince
4/5
If he stopped wanking for a minute and concentrated on the music he could have trimmed a good 20 minutes off this album.
Gang Starr
4/5
Call the Poll Ice
Justin Timberlake
2/5
Misaligned
Bee Gees
2/5
“But now I feel as good as if I were dead”
Joan Armatrading
4/5
It’s really a 3 star album but I was open to persuasion.
The Rolling Stones
3/5
Average White Band.
The Go-Betweens
2/5
Echo and the Bunny Boys.
Traffic
4/5
An album that has everything the sixties can offer, save for a hit single.
Kraftwerk
5/5
Mah-sheen! Mah-sheen! ! Mah-sheen!
Happy Mondays
4/5
Spray it on and tag it.
Rufus Wainwright
2/5
Want one. Gets two. Still poor.
Madonna
3/5
In bed with my dinner.
The Stooges
3/5
Some fun.
Genesis
3/5
It's rubbish but in a weird way I kind of enjoyed it.
Hot Chip
4/5
The way I feel about you darling
-bwop-bwop-bwop-
in the middle of the day.
2/5
War, huh.
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
2/5
The whole history of country and western music in real time.
The Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy
3/5
Consider myself lectured.
The Thrills
1/5
So Much For This Shit.
Herbie Hancock
4/5
Travelling at funk factor 5 (except for the last track where he shifts it into parking).
Big Black
3/5
Big Black Atomizer. Pour homme. pour femme. Pour vous.
Blood, Sweat & Tears
2/5
Horn stabbed to death.
The Divine Comedy
4/5
Love with a restraining order.
The Temptations
3/5
Mist 6
Daft Punk
3/5
Must try harder, better, faster and stronger.
Killing Joke
2/5
Willing poke.
Hugh Masekela
2/5
Mild noodles.
Jorge Ben Jor
4/5
Do I think the Taj Mahal is Sexy?
Talking Heads
3/5
Like Airport 77? David Byrne hijacks an album from Jack Lemmon and George Kennedy has to safely sound engineer them home. Would watch.
The Libertines
1/5
Can’t stand them now.
The Mothers Of Invention
2/5
What’s the ugliest part of the album?
Sonic Youth
2/5
Thurston Less.
Stevie Wonder
4/5
Misstra Play-It-All
Terence Trent D'Arby
4/5
Damn you and you're well performed catchy music D'Arby!
New York Dolls
2/5
Just a drag.
The Who
3/5
CSI 1971
Steve Earle
2/5
Steve Earl reckons he’s the Country Bryan Adams, forgetting that Bryan Adams is the Country Bryan Adams.
The Magnetic Fields
2/5
This is a 4 star album, less 1 star for stretching it to 3 disks and less another star for stretching it to 2 disks.
They who live by the disk die by the disk.
Kate Bush
4/5
Unless you try how would you ever know that you couldn't do Australian or Cockney accents? Mad as a box of frogs.
Erykah Badu
2/5
It came, it left, I barely noticed.
David Bowie
4/5
'Are you going to tell him the mike wasn't plugged in?'
'Nope.'
'Hopefully no one will notice.'
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
4/5
I just don't know where to begin?
Christine and the Queens
3/5
Pas mal
Talk Talk
4/5
Decent album. Terrible internet provider.
Foo Fighters
4/5
Who knew that it would take just a short 30 years to get over the fact that this album didn't sound like Nirvana.
Primal Scream
4/5
As long as you keep it as background music it's not bad at all.
Electric Light Orchestra
5/5
I can't be objective about this album. I've been singing along since I was 6.
Julian Cope
3/5
That’ll be the deicide.
Brian Eno
4/5
Ooh-er missus.
JAY Z
2/5
He runs this rapping shit. Indeed he does.
Arcade Fire
4/5
Neon Bauble.
The Chemical Brothers
4/5
The brothers gonna work it out. Chemical, not Dust.
Jeru The Damaja
3/5
“I’m not a misogynist, but…” Riiiiight.
The Mothers Of Invention
3/5
33% Freakin’ great, 33% Freakin’ obvious, 33% Freakin’ awful. 1% lost in the post.
Gram Parsons
2/5
Bland album, but the story of what happened after he died was mind blowing.
Bonnie Raitt
1/5
Well that just wasted all of our time.
CHIC
3/5
Expected DISCO! Got disco.
Klaxons
4/5
It took less than a year for the world to forget that this band ever existed, so I have no idea how they made the list. That said, it was fun.
XTC
3/5
Listened to it once and it's a 3 star album. Listened again and it's actually a 4 star album. Played some for my girlfriend. Nope, it's a 3 star album.
Destiny's Child
3/5
I’m a survivor, lend us a fiver. If it don’t get better, lend us a tenner.
Leftfield
4/5
To the left, to the left.
Solomon Burke
4/5
Sock n roll.
Animal Collective
3/5
Herd it all before.
Funkadelic
4/5
Funkadelia Smith.
Dennis Wilson
3/5
Beached boy.
Manic Street Preachers
4/5
They shouted at me, and I hadn’t even done anything!
Manic Street Preachers
4/5
When this came out I was shocked by how commercial it sounded after The Holy Bible. Now it sounds more like the Manics than what came before.
The Undertones
4/5
Underdone.
Yes
4/5
Streaming numbers from track 1 to track 2 drop by over 98%. That’s practically Domestos.
The Residents
1/5
At least the stabbed duck didn’t have to listen to it.
Chicago
2/5
If you leave me now, that would be just fine.
Kings of Leon
4/5
Thigh slapping, lasso spinning slice of indie rocking yee and haw.
Adam & The Ants
5/5
Leapfrog the dog.
Dusty Springfield
4/5
A classic example of the extra 'CD tracks' just being filler. Original album a fly along pop cracker.
Marvin Gaye
5/5
Fish full of Mercury. Thermometurbot.
Kacey Musgraves
1/5
Golden Shower.
Tangerine Dream
3/5
Orange snooze.
Duke Ellington
3/5
Duke Ellington beat Apoleon at the Attle of Aterloo.
The Sonics
3/5
A garage full of arse and bees.
David Holmes
3/5
He’s not going to kill us with this blunt old thing.
Pantera
3/5
A five star album less two for the frontman’s recent unpleasantness.
Frank Sinatra
4/5
Impeccable gentle lift music.
Guns N' Roses
5/5
Axl Rose is an anagram of Seal Rox!
The xx
3/5
ICU, comatose.
The Incredible String Band
1/5
The Unlistenable String Band.
Roxy Music
4/5
Ribbed, for your pleasure.
Love
3/5
40 minutes of being lectured in the form of poetry set to harpsichord. I've heard worse.
Drive Like Jehu
4/5
It’s not even that good but I did enjoy it. Now I feel dirty.
Mj Cole
2/5
The sudden mute on the guitars on the intro to track 2 feels like sleep apnea and I for one am against it.
Metallica
5/5
Master of Puppies. Good boy.
Christina Aguilera
2/5
Warble, weeble, wibble, wobble, wubble ad infinitum.
The Who
4/5
Hope I diet before I get old.
Crosby, Stills & Nash
2/5
One banger does not forgive this dullest.
Peter Gabriel
5/5
'She's so funky, yeah!'
Beck
5/5
‘Flash dance ass pants’
R.E.M.
4/5
He sings like a grizzling child, but the songs are pleasantly sombre.
Björk
3/5
Björk being Björk.
AC/DC
4/5
It's not just one song, it's variations on one song.
The Only Ones
1/5
Only one star. Obvs.
Thelonious Monk
2/5
Jaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzz.
Scritti Politti
3/5
Milly Vanilly.
M.I.A.
5/5
Banana.
Beatles
5/5
Rub a Sole. Fish fingers.
Lana Del Rey
3/5
Yawna Del Meh.
3/5
Sambiant.
Wilco
2/5
Bravo Oscar Romeo India November Golf.
Björk
3/5
She’s creepy and she’s kooky,
Mysterious and spooky,
She’s all together Bjooky.
Amy Winehouse
4/5
Voice of the beehive.
Willie Colón & Rubén Blades
3/5
It made me want to seat-dance.
Marianne Faithfull
2/5
An album that I wouldn’t really listen to from the 1970’s that sounds like an album I wouldn’t really listen to from the 2010’s.
Gene Clark
2/5
Head towards the White Light children. Head towards the light.
Pixies
5/5
If I could talk to the Animals I’d say ‘You’re right! We do have to get out of this place!’
New Order
5/5
Actually Barney is a great singer but the rest of the band miss all the notes.
Badly Drawn Boy
3/5
Blandly Songed Boy.
Shuggie Otis
3/5
It's gentle funk. It's junk.
Emmylou Harris
3/5
Sad cowgirl music.
Slayer
4/5
The Reign In Blood stays mainly in the Hood.
Alexander 'Skip' Spence
1/5
Skip.
Shack
2/5
Hitless BritPop.
The Who
4/5
Sophistication? Sophistication? Don’t talk to me about sophistication, I’ve BEEN to Leeds!
The Band
2/5
And The Band played on, and on, and on, and on….
Dexys Midnight Runners
3/5
Stand down.
Solange
2/5
Beautifully produced nothing much.
Deee-Lite
2/5
Groove is in Herbie Hancock.
Sex Pistols
5/5
Not bollocks at all.
Quicksilver Messenger Service
2/5
Rolling stoned.
Elvis Presley
4/5
Road to the Kingdom.
Norah Jones
2/5
Smothered in a warm beige blanket.
Public Image Ltd.
2/5
Many issues.
Jack White
4/5
Jack listens to big stack of 78rpm records. ‘Yep. I can do that.’
The B-52's
5/5
Side 2 is only 3/5, but thankfully side 1 is 7/5. Dropping bombs.
Muddy Waters
3/5
How was this in 1977? Spelled P-U-N-K-D-I-S-C-O-S-T-A-R-W-A-R-S
The Divine Comedy
4/5
Pervy chamber pop.
Air
1/5
Method of suicide? Dullness. They were dulled to death.
Iron Maiden
5/5
Iron Maiden’s gonna get you, no matter how far.
UB40
3/5
DUB40
Brian Eno
4/5
Eno Beano
2/5
A difficult to stream average album. If they put in the effort and lost it completely it might get another star.
Slade
3/5
Spayed.
The Everly Brothers
4/5
A Date With The Everly Brothers and they really go on about their exes.
Doves
2/5
Inventing maudlin cinematic jangle pop only 30+ years after everyone else.
Eagles
4/5
Like a refreshing nap.
Lou Reed
5/5
Decepticon.
Sleater-Kinney
3/5
Later Skinny.
Robert Wyatt
3/5
Rock your bottom.
Incubus
2/5
“We’ve got Soundgarden at home.”
Radiohead
4/5
Sadiohead.
Dexys Midnight Runners
4/5
Still searching.
Gil Scott-Heron
4/5
A Gill of Scottish Heron please.
Tracy Chapman
4/5
Words don’t come easily.
Willie Nelson
3/5
Red headed strange willie.
Mercury Rev
4/5
Teddy Mercury.
5/5
Peak Davies.
Giant Sand
2/5
Just a chore.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
4/5
Yeah!
Lambchop
2/5
Nix
Stan Getz
3/5
Oooooooh that’s smooooooooth.
Sonic Youth
1/5
What’s not shit is dull and what’s not dull is shit. Not their worst.
Wilco
2/5
Indiscriminate economy pack of Americana. Lost a star for going on too long.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
4/5
Blood and chocolate, or it might be Turkish Delight.
N.E.R.D
3/5
Flew and due.
Bill Evans Trio
3/5
Doo, doo, doo, da doo, doo, doo, bom, bom, bom, ba bom bee bee ba doo.
Dexys Midnight Runners
3/5
Too wry, ay it.
Aretha Franklin
5/5
The First Lady of Soul. Possibly President Soul.
Bauhaus
4/5
You can taste the eyeliner.
Paul Simon
4/5
Farts and Phones.
The Young Gods
3/5
La tete comme un trou.
D'Angelo
1/5
Beige flour.
Coldcut
3/5
Is that noise the uncleared sample police knocking at the door?
Simpler times.
Bruce Springsteen
4/5
Rockin' like a clenched fist, mumbling like a wino.
The Beta Band
3/5
There are many Betta bands.
The Pogues
4/5
Every shade of diddly-diddly.
Carpenters
3/5
Soft cheese.
Laibach
3/5
Laibach and think of England.
Sparks
4/5
Heartbeat! Increasing heartbeat!
Mnyah mnyah mnya bwah bwah bwah bwah bwaaaaaaaah!
Mee moo mnyah mnyaaah,
Mnyah mnyaaah!
Soul II Soul
2/5
Keep on moving, nothing to see here.
Girls Against Boys
3/5
Cod rock.
Kendrick Lamar
1/5
Killed my vibe.
G. Love & Special Sauce
3/5
It’s like Twiglets. It’s awful but I just can’t seem to stop.
The Doors
4/5
Just The Doors doing Doorsy things.
Fairport Convention
2/5
Folk me.
Wild Beasts
3/5
Mild Beats.
Madonna
3/5
Now I feel like an empowered raving middle aged woman in the late 90’s and I’m off to buy a cowboy hat! 🤠
TV On The Radio
3/5
Trying to sound like a British Indie band but hampered by being just too American.
Coldplay
2/5
Coldpiss.
Deep Purple
4/5
In Rock, by Rock, for Rock.
k.d. lang
3/5
Constant gravy.
Culture Club
3/5
It comes and goes.
Louis Prima
4/5
Scat everywhere. Get a broom.
The Fall
4/5
More of a trip, but you can see where it’s going.
Throbbing Gristle
3/5
It reminded me of Dark Side of the Moon, but without the music.
Joe Ely
3/5
At least we had masks on.
CHVRCHES
3/5
LVRCHES.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
3/5
Neil Young and Sitting Bull.
Nico
2/5
I don’t want to go to Chelsea.
Kings of Leon
4/5
Oh? Your decks are on hire?
Miles Davis
3/5
Kind of Beige.
Elliott Smith
2/5
One fat lady.
Moby Grape
3/5
Call me Ish-Malbec.
The Dictators
3/5
Wham! Bam! Mostly Glam!
Cocteau Twins
3/5
Trinkets
Arrested Development
3/5
They’re very friendly but they’re right up in my grill. Just give me some space, man.
Stevie Wonder
4/5
In parts the funkiest and least funky album of all time. Oh Stevie! Why do you do this?
The Good, The Bad & The Queen
3/5
Not good. Not bad. Not Queen.
Liz Phair
2/5
Phair to middling.
Eagles
4/5
*Block party!
*bland rock
Television
3/5
A 20 second chunk of every song on the album is a joy, the other 4 minutes a drag. Had they brought this album in at under 3 minutes it could have been a masterpiece.
Britney Spears
2/5
No more times. That was plenty.
The Roots
3/5
Bumpy.
Afrika Bambaataa
4/5
PLANET ROCK! PLANET ROCK!
The Pretty Things
4/5
I can in no way argue that this is a good album, but despite this I found I enjoyed it. Weird.
Magazine
4/5
Colour supplement.
Teenage Fanclub
3/5
Blandwagon.
Kanye West
2/5
Yeezus. That was Yit.
The Zutons
4/5
Killed by dad rock, but what a way to go.
Slint
1/5
Spiderland! Spiderland!
Does whatever a Spider cand.
Is it good? Not a bit.
It's just tedious mumble shit.
Look out! Here comes the Spiderland.
Willie Nelson
5/5
Kermit's stoned cousin sings Nat King Cole. Beautiful.
Tim Buckley
2/5
'Greetings from L.A.! I left a tape recorder outside some random bar and this is what I got!'
Minutemen
1/5
The Seinfeld Theme’s angry phase.
4/5
Half stadium anthems, half sludgy filler.
The Cult
3/5
Short circuit.
Robbie Williams
3/5
In ‘98 when Robbie’s face was on every screen and page, and ‘Angels’ washed out of every speaker in a constant stream of bland warbling I would have rather taken a kick in the nuts than listen to this album. More than a quarter of a century later he just sounds like a holiday camp entertainer.
Astrud Gilberto
4/5
A hip twitching bum wriggler of the gentle variety.
Belle & Sebastian
3/5
Alright, but not Grrrrrrrrreat!
Meat Puppets
2/5
Muppets.
2/5
Rictus grin.
Ramblin' Jack Elliott
3/5
Give the floor back Jack, you big rambler.
Rod Stewart
3/5
Running out of gas.
The The
3/5
It’s like Rick Astley tried to create Industrial but couldn’t.
Sabu
4/5
Congo bongo songos.
808 State
4/5
Come for the sax, stay for the loons.
Abdullah Ibrahim
2/5
What next? Chuck Wagon’s Honkytonk Hoe Down turns out to be Death Metal?
Faith No More
5/5
Epic.
Goldfrapp
3/5
Late Bush.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
3/5
He's not young and they're not crazy.
Jazmine Sullivan
1/5
On the right day this might be an OK album. This was not that day. Awful.
The Sensational Alex Harvey Band
3/5
Next.
The Boo Radleys
1/5
Half the tracks and a tuned guitar could have scraped two stars.
Al Green
5/5
Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh’m … sooo in lerve with youuuuu.
Sam Cooke
5/5
I expected smooth crooning and got taken to a party.
Goldie
2/5
Endless.
Eurythmics
5/5
Who am I to disagree?
Siouxsie And The Banshees
5/5
The squeak of leather. The taste of hairspray.
Butthole Surfers
4/5
Avoiding their awful name meant I missed this great album, also with an awful name.
Penguin Cafe Orchestra
1/5
For a chunk of this album I was waiting for a delayed bus, and it made me feel like I was in the sad bit of a Richard Curtis movie. Fuck this album.
Dinosaur Jr.
4/5
T Rox. B fly.
Didn’t always hold my attention, but when it did I liked it
Barry Adamson
4/5
Distilled 90’s at that sweet spot between post modern camp and pure self indulgence.
Death In Vegas
2/5
Low stakes.
Syd Barrett
2/5
Like fortune telling but backwards.
10cc
3/5
“It's one thing to know it but another to admit
We're the worst band in the world”
Slipknot
4/5
Raaaaagh-gentle-Raaaaagh!
Elastica
3/5
Doesn’t that sound just like…
Ice T
4/5
Vinyl turntable and cassette deck, y’all are players.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
4/5
Last year’s model.
Buddy Holly & The Crickets
4/5
Perky.
Amy Winehouse
5/5
Should have gone to rehab.
The Adverts
3/5
Commercial opportunity.
The Clash
4/5
Punk, with a pinch of reggae.
American Music Club
2/5
This California does not know how to party.
The Cars
3/5
I didn’t mind the coming here and wasting all my time, time.
David Crosby
3/5
I thought I met a man
Who said he knew a man
Who knew what was going on
I was mistaken
Dion
1/5
Soft flavourless cheese.
Leonard Cohen
3/5
The joy decimator.
Suicide
4/5
Wow! Was not ready for Frankie Teardrop.
Blur
5/5
You should cut down on your pork life mate. Get some exercise.
John Cale
2/5
Paris ne-ne-ne-ne-nineteen, nineteen.
Prince
5/5
Now he’s doing a horse called June.
Joy Division
5/5
Peak cover.
Meat Loaf
5/5
Pomp and circumcised.
Beyoncé
3/5
‘ I cooked this meal for you naked
So where the hell you at?’
The Dave Brubeck Quartet
5/5
Take five. Get five.
Nightmares On Wax
2/5
Running on fumes.
The Shamen
4/5
Nos-Talgia. I enjoyed this album. Now I feel dirty.
The Stooges
4/5
Paw Rower.
The Stooges
3/5
Now bring me some Iggy Pudding.
The KLF
5/5
Had I ever wondered what the KLF would sound like if they were actually Leftfield, Arab Strap and Ace of Base then The White Room (Directors Cut) completely answers that question. Thankfully originally they didn’t and they already had five stars in their pockets, which they proceeded to burn.
Hüsker Dü
2/5
What can Hüsker Dü?
They can fück off.
Elvis Presley
3/5
King pub singer.
Keeeeeeng Puh-huh-huh-bah SeeeyyuuuuhhhhhnnnGAAAAAR!!
Great backing band.
Kings of Leon
3/5
Eighteen!? Rolling Stones!?!?
The Flying Burrito Brothers
2/5
This album nothing’d me.
It nothing’d me HARD!
Sly & The Family Stone
4/5
Faultless funk.
Bollocks blues.
Pink Floyd
3/5
Wish it was better.
Cowboy Junkies
3/5
The Father, the Son and the ghostly hole.
Boards of Canada
3/5
Comfortably bored of Boards of Canada.
Pretenders
4/5
Made me notice.
David Bowie
5/5
Bipperty-bopperty brilliant.
Ms. Dynamite
4/5
Better than I thought it might beee-heeee.
Devendra Banhart
3/5
Twiddly melodic folk sung by an angry cat.
Common
2/5
Like water for passing.
Super Furry Animals
3/5
Ring ring!
FKA twigs
3/5
Enigma-tic.
The Specials
4/5
More Specials is special, but less special than The Specials, which is more special than More Specials.
Cheap Trick
3/5
I wanted me to want them, but I think they wanted it more than I wanted.
Pulp
5/5
In a different class.
Don McLean
4/5
This’ll be the day that I diet.
The Bees
3/5
Surprisingly unlike The Hives, Queen or Sting.
Ministry
4/5
So there was only one thing that I could do
Was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long
R.E.M.
4/5
Jelly bean, boom.
Thin Lizzy
5/5
Overblown rock wank that refused to end. Loved it.
Lupe Fiasco
2/5
He did a pretty decent album, then ‘Outro’ pushed it to the floor, kicked it in the nuts, stamped on its face, did a shit on it and then pissed on it for more than 10 minutes.
Little Richard
5/5
Little Richard Energy.
Fishbone
2/5
Fishbone should be removed before serving.
Scott Walker
5/5
The Captain Scott 4. Chilled.
Motörhead
4/5
The pleasure is to play. Makes no difference what you say.
Joni Mitchell
3/5
Unexpectedly almost fun.
Johnny Cash
5/5
Banged up the slammer.
LL Cool J
4/5
Mama needs to take a long hard look at herself.
Fatboy Slim
4/5
Gay Porn Man Up Rake.
U2
5/5
Achtually Blander, but I’m ashamed to say I really enjoyed it.
Billy Bragg
4/5
In the East End of London born and raised
On the cobbled street is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool
And all jellied eels and winkles outside of the school
When a couple of geezers who were up to no good
Started causing grief in my neighbourhood
I got in one little fight and my ma just knew
And said "You're movin' with your auntie on Mermaid Avenue"
Eminem
4/5
Puerile effin n Jeffin.
Ride
3/5
Rode to Nowhere.
Snoop Dogg
3/5
What’s my mummy flipping name? Snoopy Doggity Dogg Dogg.
Barry Adamson
1/5
Most Shite Story.
Santana
2/5
Fat noodles. Udon.
The Prodigy
5/5
CHOOOOON!
Yes
3/5
A soft Yes.
Raekwon
2/5
Diluted.
The Rolling Stones
4/5
Oh the gal I'm to marry
Is a bow-legged sow
I've been soakin' up drink like a sponge
John Grant
4/5
I wanted to change the world
But I could not even change my underwear
Donald Fagen
2/5
Cheesemonger.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
4/5
Haunting.
George Michael
4/5
I didn’t want to like this album but did anyway.
Radiohead
5/5
I bet you think that's pretty clever, don't you, boy?
Paul McCartney
4/5
Maybe I’m amazed, or perhaps not quite that much.
Deep Purple
4/5
Some stupid with a flare gun.
The Darkness
4/5
Up to 11.
The Byrds
3/5
Jingle jangle Dylan.
The xx
2/5
Zz
Happy Mondays
3/5
Now you’re clever.
Tom Waits
4/5
A chainsaw singing lullabies.
Os Mutantes
4/5
Grrrooooooovvvy baaaaaabbbby.
Beach House
1/5
Washed up.
Echo And The Bunnymen
4/5
Kissing the tortoise shell. 🐢💋
Everything But The Girl
4/5
A good album to eat salad to.
Guided By Voices
2/5
Guided to the exit.
Big Star
2/5
#2
4/5
Q: Are Devo Not Men?
Beck
4/5
Sounds like Beck trying to sound like Beck, which is slightly disappointing because Beck did that ages ago.
5/5
Of course Henry the horse dances a waltz.
The Psychedelic Furs
3/5
That’s a lot of lyrics on wearing ladies clothes.
The Icarus Line
1/5
ALDI in Chains.
Van Morrison
2/5
An album that asks the question “Do you want to hear an angry Irishman sing soul?”
And I thought the answer was yes, but I was mistaken.
MGMT
2/5
Radio filler.
Ryan Adams
2/5
Gild
Linkin Park
3/5
If I think of this album as metal then it ain’t great, but if I think of it as pop it’s awesome! So I’m doing that.
A Tribe Called Quest
4/5
Whilst you technically could kick it, you probably shouldn’t.
DJ Shadow
4/5
Follow that Tuxedo!
Simple Minds
4/5
Old Gold Daydream.
The Electric Prunes
2/5
Sparky old plums.
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
2/5
1. What the hell is this?
2. This is great!
3. Make it stop!
Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
4/5
Trout Mask Original.
Bebel Gilberto
3/5
It’s nice but I wouldn’t die to save it.
Stereo MC's
3/5
After about the fourth time someone tells you that they’re not going to go blind you start thinking that they’re definitely going to go blind.
David Bowie
4/5
I so want it to be better than it is.
Bruce Springsteen
4/5
Spruce Bringsteen.
Nirvana
5/5
Beautifully broken.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
5/5
Growling.
Lenny Kravitz
2/5
Can one man be both Stevie Wonder and The Beatles at the same time?
No. No they can’t.
Carole King
5/5
Carols from Kings.
LTJ Bukem
2/5
An edgy kind of nothing, like sipping sparkling water.
Travis
2/5
Dave Lee
Neil Young
4/5
Muppet voiced poet for a generation.
Ali Farka Touré
4/5
Sahara Blues.
Holger Czukay
3/5
Audio trifle.
Nanci Griffith
3/5
A really good Country Music album. Unfortunately I’m not particularly a fan of Country Music.
Eric Clapton
3/5
Very light blues. Possibly powder.
Suede
4/5
You can’t be Sirius.
Steely Dan
3/5
Can’t buy a thrill from Steely Dan.
Shivkumar Sharma
3/5
Table for 4 please.
John Lennon
3/5
Never record your therapy sessions.
Green Day
5/5
Singalong snapshot.
Jeff Buckley
5/5
Stupid better than I expected it to be album.
The Lemonheads
3/5
Hide it from the kids.
Madness
4/5
There’s always something happening and it’s usually quite loud.
John Lennon
3/5
Imagine all the people living life in peace, except for Paul McCartney!!!
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
5/5
Yeah!
Frankie Goes To Hollywood
4/5
Alright! I get it! I’m welcome to the Pleasure Dome! Now can we please get on with it?
Janet Jackson
3/5
I had almost forgotten this album existed. I’m sure I will again.
B.B. King
3/5
So that’s what upside your head means. Oops.
Soft Machine
3/5
Soft served.
Paul Weller
4/5
Mild Mood by Maul Mellow.
Hawkwind
2/5
Space! Space! Spacey! Space! TWANG!!!
The Black Keys
3/5
Blues Brothers.
The Avalanches
3/5
Dexter is criminally insane.
a-ha
3/5
Highs and lows.
John Martyn
4/5
Solid silver.
Everything But The Girl
1/5
Fairground Repulsion
The Dandy Warhols
4/5
Nostalgia tinted plodding fun.
The Who
4/5
I’m sold.
De La Soul
4/5
The magic number.
The Beach Boys
4/5
Quack.
Hole
3/5
When it’s near greatness ‘good’ seems quite average.
Fugazi
2/5
Fubarzi
Kelela
3/5
Competent.
Grateful Dead
1/5
Like 4 hours at an all you can eat Chinese buffet, I’m tired of these fucking noodles.
Duran Duran
4/5
Boat suits.
The Youngbloods
2/5
They’re a little bit country.
They’re a little bit rock and roll.
The The
3/5
Not definitive.
Small Faces
2/5
Populode of the Musicolly
Nick Drake
3/5
Stolen duck.
Frank Black
3/5
Pixie Less.
George Jones
2/5
Sad man sings of joyless infidelity.
AC/DC
5/5
Cock n Roll.
ABBA
5/5
Swedish Chef’s kiss.
The Velvet Underground
4/5
Andy Warhol’s banana.
The Zombies
4/5
That is distilled 60’s.
Can
3/5
Cannot
The Pogues
5/5
Sounds like Rum, Sodomy and the Lash.
Ananda Shankar
3/5
Jumping Javinder Flash .
1/5
Now I know why I want to hate them.
Calexico
3/5
Tex Mex Artex
Rod Stewart
3/5
He really should be back in school….
Creepy.
Bill Callahan
2/5
Sometimes he wishes we were an eagle? An eagle? A specific eagle? All of us? One eagle? I’m not sure this wish would work.
Dagmar Krause
3/5
The Pink Panzer.
White Denim
3/5
That’s rocky. Hang on, I mean proggy. Nope, right first time, rocky. No, proggy. Rock. Prog. Prog rock?
Folk.
4/5
American punk makes British punk makes American punk makes more.
The Associates
3/5
So good. So bad.
The Fall
4/5
Challenging the concept of singing.
The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
4/5
Successfully exploded the blues.
Black Sabbath
5/5
Volume 11
Deep Purple
5/5
Building cliches shouldn’t be this good.
The Yardbirds
4/5
It sounds like a bunch of slightly posh white guys trying to ‘have a good time’, and rather annoyingly they are.
Grant Lee Buffalo
2/5
Deny Lee Buffalo. One Del Amitri is more than enough.
Portishead
4/5
If you’re expecting a genre defining manifesto of an album then only a few tracks deliver.
If you’re not it defines a genre.
Buzzcocks
4/5
The Buzzcooks
Tom Tom Club
4/5
Hoot zee nanna zinna
The Offspring
3/5
Instant potato.
Finley Quaye
2/5
Three strikes.
Led Zeppelin
4/5
Deep Bluesy
Ghostface Killah
4/5
A kilo is 1000 grammes. So simple.
The La's
3/5
And I just can’t explain this jangle that remains.
Fleetwood Mac
2/5
Don’t say that you love me.
Tori Amos
5/5
The earth moved, a little.
Laura Nyro
2/5
“And we’ve got a very special guest for you tonight ladies and gentlemen! Please give a big Blackpool Pier welcome to Laura Nyro!”
Talvin Singh
4/5
Oll Korrect
Bob Marley & The Wailers
4/5
Stir it up, milk two sugars please.
Silver Jews
2/5
Just because we can clone Lou Reed doesn’t mean we should.
Khaled
2/5
Like wading through cheese.
Baaba Maal
3/5
A dollop of lolloping Afro jangle please.
Ooh, that’s a big dollop.
Youssou N'Dour
3/5
You Sound Dour?
But he doesn’t?
Nitin Sawhney
2/5
Soul 2 Dal
Waylon Jennings
2/5
Wonky Tanked Zeros
Nine Inch Nails
5/5
Doesn’t it make you fell better.
The Doors
4/5
His brain is squirming like a toad.
Kraftwerk
5/5
When I were young if we wanted beeps and boops we had to make them ourselves with wires and valves.
Aerosmith
4/5
This album is practically a singing erection.
Fugees
1/5
Low score.
I could leave a little more than half behind.
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
2/5
A good looking, bad sounding album.
Arctic Monkeys
4/5
Pre crooning pub ballads.
The Damned
5/5
Smashed it.
Sigur Rós
3/5
This album demands your ambivalence.
Ravi Shankar
4/5
This is the sound of a sitar.
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
3/5
Does what he does. Sounds how he sounds.
Jimi Hendrix
4/5
Could have been bolder and lovelier.
Siouxsie And The Banshees
4/5
Suzy and the Banshy’s.✨
Morrissey
3/5
Still up his arse but with glimpses of daylight.
Joanna Newsom
2/5
N
Digital Underground
2/5
That’s a lot of unpleasantness hanging off a couple of novelty songs.
Ali Farka Touré
3/5
Black and blues.
Jurassic 5
4/5
Two squared
Lorde
4/5
More mellow than drama.
Drive-By Truckers
1/5
It’s a two star album, less one star for being a double album.
Sheeeeeeeet
Isaac Hayes
2/5
By the time the track finished I had got to Phoenix.
Dire Straits
3/5
Not dire.
Queen
4/5
I actually do like to be beside the seaside.
4/5
Kicked out. Unjamed.
Christina Aguilera
2/5
As warblefests go I found this mostly painless. I liked the clear coherent travelogue lyrics that explain in simple terms what was going on, she was trying to emulate old classics. She missed, but she tried.
Loses one star for being an unnecessary double album.
Missy Elliott
2/5
Bam biddly bam.
Bam biddly biddly biddly biddly, and I can’t stress this enough, biddly bam.
Echo And The Bunnymen
3/5
Lacks bite.
David Ackles
4/5
The last gasp of the arse end of The Great American Song Book.
“It is sad Timmy, but we have to let it go now. Let it go.”
Pavement
3/5
No big hair.
Kendrick Lamar
4/5
Great album. Awful voice.
Elton John
5/5
Beyond the yellow brick roooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad
William Orbit
3/5
It’s weird to have a twinge of nostalgia for an album I’ve never heard before.
Underworld
4/5
Underwear
Dizzee Rascal
3/5
Fixed upish, looked sharpish.
The Velvet Underground
3/5
Ding dong, missus.
Franz Ferdinand
4/5
Ich heisse Super Fantastic!
Neil Young
3/5
If you play your cards right.
Rush
4/5
What about the voice of Geddy Lee
How did it get so high?
I wonder if he speaks like an ordinary guy?
I know him and he does
Les Rythmes Digitales
4/5
Everybody wants to get down like that.
Soft Cell
4/5
Easy, cheesy, slightly sleazy.
Pearl Jam
2/5
Two by me.
Charles Mingus
2/5
I think I just got mugged by jazz.
Turbonegro
1/5
Hello, I’d like ‘a band’ please.
Certainly, here’s ’a band’.
Yes. They are ‘a band’.
My Bloody Valentine
2/5
Isn’t nothing, but close.
Basement Jaxx
3/5
Bah-Ba-bah-b-b-b-Bingo Wingo!
Germs
2/5
Now wash your hands.
Megadeth
3/5
Peas sell.
The Smashing Pumpkins
3/5
It’s a 3 star double album.
It could have been a 4 star single album.
Even a 5 star double A side single.
John Prine
3/5
Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down and won.
Astor Piazzolla
2/5
The No Tango.
Nina Simone
4/5
Excellent leftovers.
The Go-Go's
3/5
Went-Went
Judas Priest
3/5
Let off with a caution.
Malcolm McLaren
3/5
A hum baa baa.
Maxwell
2/5
Maxwell sexing everywhere and now everything is pregnant.
Are you happy now Maxwell? Are you happy now?
Suede
4/5
Some days Brett Anderson sounds like a plaintive soul, other days a mewling cat.
Pere Ubu
3/5
There was no Dub or Housing in this album. It may as well have been called Jazz Camping.
Mott The Hoople
3/5
I mott
You mitt
He, she, it motts
We moth
They moot
Pet Shop Boys
4/5
Quite
Bob Dylan
4/5
The world’s best singing vacuum cleaner.
The Jesus And Mary Chain
4/5
It’s the fuzz!
Pere Ubu
2/5
Ere Pubu
Venom
3/5
Raaaawk!! Criiiiiiinge!! Raaaaaaawk!!!
Creedence Clearwater Revival
2/5
I know the end is coming soon.
Ash
5/5
Mr. Miyagi and the X-Men
Called in for a while as well
The Style Council
3/5
I was really enjoying it until the ‘rap’ started.
Tito Puente
3/5
Less than a mania. More of a fad.