Beach Samba

70s twiddly instruments and wavery flat vocal nonsense. Parade (A Banda) is bonkers. Then she absolutely murdered one of my favourite Lovin Spoonful songs with her annoying child's accompaniment and my dislike crossed over into hatred. At least it's short. 1/5

Ugh. Harry Belafonte didn't make the list, but this did?!

Meh

Elevator music, but I'm trapped in the elevator and it's on fire, thankfully dying after a relatively brief 27 minutes of torture.

Bosa nova normally brings forth images of chilling on a beach and warm sunny days - but unfortunately not this album: it just leaves me cold Inoffensive and mostly well done but nothing of interest - but then “parade” comes on and it turns in to novelty album - enough to drag it down to 2 stars. Oba oba does not help But as the album goes (drags?) on I’m more inclined to a 1 star review but only her voice and the quality of the playing raises it to a 2 . “You did not have to be so nice “ is 0 stars all day long. A Fucking “grandad we love you “ but from the 60s . The album has a long way to go to drag itself to a respectable 2 stars.

Not for me

thought this was just gonna be a chill vibe and then it got actively annoying. why is there a parade in there. why is she singing in english. why does this feel like a 60s ad for a sofa. don draper's second wife had this album.

boring

I would not use this album to samba on the beach

I had low expectations for this album…this failed to meet even them.

Mwa, even leuk dan houdt het op

No entendí. Samba en inglés, tampoco que me interese el genero, pero muy raro todo. Primer albúm que realmente me molestó escuchar, quizá por el día sí, pero bueno.

60s Brazilian pop jazz....that is a form of torture.

I think every member of this family has a record on this list. If there is one thing that this author loves more than horrible British music, it’s Gilberto-core. Literally 3 of them at this point with repeats? You cannot honestly say that each of these are one of the thousand most important albums ever. Art will forever be subjective, but I do feel that you can be slightly more objective with citing influence and importance to music. No? Here’s another Badlydrawnboy record! Some Manchester garage/house/front garden! Whatever. Bring on Blur’s 72 minute Samba record. I don’t care anymore. More like uhh ASS trud. One platinum dog to go please. 1 HIGHLIGHTS: If I call me myself ChooChoo Gilberto, can I finally release my one man jug band record? It’s 5 hours in length and completely unedited. I await your reply.

Det finns ett par spår där det hålls lite mer sparsmakat, dom är helt okej. Men den där orkestreringen med storband av alla andra spår gör det outhärdligt

På ett mingelparty sent 60-tal i en lyxig modernistisk funkisvilla. Då funkar nog Astrud rätt bra. Nu uppfyller mina lyssningsomständigheter inga av dess förutsättningar.

Bosta nova

I may be in kind of a shitty mood today but still. What the fuck is this shit?

This feels a bit like a Time Machine. It’s kitschy easy listening which sometimes can be fun but other times just a bit much. This is a bit much - well, too much - it goes on and on. Trying to think when I would ever play this outside of today. Some kind of 60’s themed cocktail party? Whilst I’m dusting or cooking my husband a roast dinner to have on the dining room table when he gets back from work? Hmm. Dunno. Somewhere between 1-3. I had to abandon it in the end for just getting on my nerves so… 1 Number of tracks 17 Fave track… err 10/3/26

This is like the kind of music you'd hear in a lift in one of those movies from the 60s. At best it progresses slightly to lounge music at a posh hotel. There is nothing original here, if you've heard lift music and hotel lounge music, you have heard this, so there is no need to hear it before you die.

Not my bag at all. Sorry.

I guess if you like this type of music and all…but I don’t so…

Some soft play from Astrud on the beach. Still riding the "Girl From Ipanema" popularity? Got cute with a kid singing at the end but nothing here deserving a list spot. I'm done with the Gilbertos...1.20 stars.

Pretty pleasant vocals surrounded by some simple relaxing samba music. Would work for a vacation on a foreign island otherwise it's not something I would listen to on my own. I didn't mind it for background noise for a while but got a little tired of it after 7 songs or so. The length of the album is about all I need of this unless I'm sitting in the sun near some water with a cold drink in my hand and even then I'd probably want to switch after 20 minutes. I'm seeing a lot of samba influence from the Getz / Gilberto lineage so it seems like they were all connected somehow. I won't be mad if I don't hear from them ever again. I don't outright dislike their music but it does little to nothing to keep me hooked beyond the initial couple of minutes. 1.44 stars

Like a fart on a windy beach. A polished fart but still a fart

Often when I listen to albums and I’m not into them I give it two stars. Because I imagine someone else will like it. When I can’t think of who the album is for that’s when it gets 1.

Tracks 1-3: ‘Cruise ship in an Austin Powers film’ vibe. Track 4: ‘Parade’. Hard to put into words how bad this was...glad it’s over. Back on the cruise but at least I won’t hear a song this bad for a long time. Tracks 5-10: …. Track 11: How wrong was I. Some how even worse than track 4. Mostly 2 star but the bad songs are so bad it drags the whole album down.

Bossa nova may not be my favorite genre but it definitely can have more sauce than this. Very dull pop selections really weigh things down here. And no, it doesn't even have Girl from Ipanema. Then we get to schmaltz city when her little son duets on You Didn't Have to Be So Nice. So cloying, make it stop!

It's a watered down version of foreign music made by an acceptable white European woman. The white washing is typical of the 60s, but if I want to listen to bossa nova I sure as hell am not going to look at the culture vultures to get my fix.

This is a reminder that even in the "golden age" of music artists still released ass. "Parade" might be one of the worst songs I've ever heard. Many of the other tracks are either instrumental messes, or boring love ballads.(or both). Then the album burst into "You Didn't Have to be So Nice" which brought in the worst goddamn child singer, and ended in her badly scatting. The whole album was <30min but it felt like forever and a waste of my time when I'm sure there is better samba out there. 1/5

Not my kind of thing. Might have helped if I’d had a Margarita in my hand and it wasn’t minus five with snow outside…

Beach, please... Sambady get this annoying music away from me

En nytårs banger? Næ! Bare endnu en lang kedelig oplevelser.

Samba bold > Samba musik

It's alright. Good elevator music. The album cover is one of the most horrifying uncanny valley images I've ever seen in my life. The actual music would be great while travelling from floor 1 to 50 in a Chicago skyrise. 3/10

Wanted to like this. Did not.

Lazy and boring

Not for me. I had a Casio Keyboard which played this stuff by pressing one button. There was another which did the Bossanova, which was much more to my liking. Next time Astrud lyrically suggest pressing the other button to get 2 stars.

jesus fucking christ god damn blast beats everywhere jk this record was certainly something though. What was up with the parade song? Child duet jumpscare at track 11 was unexpected. Is it just me or is she actually not a very good singer? Astrud, not the kid. I feel like songs/albums like this have aged in a funny way. It kinda just makes me think of the music from Family Guy and parody in general Some beautiful string arrangements throughout. I have an affinity for a full string section mixed mono and panned off to one side. Some cool recordings for sure

Bosta nova

Awful vocals, boring and inane lyrics, all backed by elevator music

It's just so cloyingly sweet. I don't think I'm ever in the mood for this.

Jazz 😩

The first couple of tracks are really nice and then it slides into ones like Parade, which was just bad. At the end I was done with her voice for a lifetime.

A true work of art, the sort of abstract artwork that looks like a shitstain in a toilet. I doubt even Astrud enjoyed this album. Painful listen. Only notable ref on Beach Samba wiki is that it appears on the 1001 album list, says it all really.

Oh, there's another 20 minutes of this? Not for me thanks, I'm full actually

About as exciting as a bowl of cereal.

# 554 : Beach Samba by Astrud Gilberto Beach Samba – Cocktail Music for the Musically Indifferent When your only claim to fame is being on this list… well, that says a lot. Beach Samba is short, pleasant, and sleepier than a hammock nap after two mojitos. It’s the kind of album you’d hear wafting from an open-air bar at a Caribbean resort while sipping a coconut cocktail and wondering if the Wi-Fi works. Astrud Gilberto’s voice is breezy and charming, but the songs are slow, the energy is low, and the excitement is on permanent vacation. “The Face I Love” is the best of the bunch, but even that barely stirs the cocktail. Verdict: One star for effort. Background music for when you’re too relaxed to care. If you have to listen to this, look out for : The Face I Love Listened: 26/08/2025

- no - - There were so many albums like this made at this time that the hipsters like to dig up and listen to looking for inspiration. This is not one of the good ones. 1.5 and I'm not rounding up. -

Yikes. I... really did not like this album. Something about this just screams "boomer music" in the worst way possible. If this is your favorite album you have to be 65+ and also be on the best drugs that the 60's had on offer. Her voice is good, but, everything else is just so weird and surreal? Sometimes I feel like I'm listening to a children's show, then I'm in a french coffee shop. 1/5.

1 out of 5 Just not my bag, baby. Sounds like something from Mad Men (zubie, zubie, zoo). But I made it through the whole album if that counts for something.

Inessential world music.

I remember this type of music. Not my music to listen to.

Not great

no me ha gustado nada, la cancion en español daba mal rollo

Torture, unfortunately. Self indulgent music that never should have been included in the book to begin with. Sounds like the songs that didn’t make it into a Katamari game. The children singing on “You Didn’t Have To Be So Nice” and the entirety of the song “Parade” are genuinely torturous. Occasionally, there’s some nice instrumentation, but it’s more often than not in addition to a voice that, and I'm sorry, I just straight up dislike. And when I said “occasionally there was some nice instrumentation”, it’s not always present either. This is elevator music with extra steps. Lounge music that you hear at low volume in the background of a Horror Game. Astrud is perfect in “The Girl from Ipanema” (not on this album, which pains me, because I LOVE that song), but as far as this album goes, the only song I really vibe with is “Nao Bate O Corocao.” Curious how many times if ever again I end up going from a 5 to a 1.

Not a fan of the genre

No bueno

This is terrible! How the hell does this make any greatest album list! I didn’t realize elevator music was a genre! 1967…think that was a pretty good year for music! And they pick this!

Not for me

Dull Bossa Nova. Pleasantly aimless showtunes with an occasional tropical flavor.

1/5. No shade on her vocal ability, I just don't think this is the type of music she should be doing. I feel like there is a lack of energy in these tracks, like someone else chose these songs for her. I am not sure exactly but letting her make that decision would be best. Now if she did make these song choices, then maybe someone else should decide lol. Instrumentals are fine and it's a very simple album so it's inoffensive but in the same vain, it's beyond boring. It's not terrible but there is no feeling and that's somehow worse. The only thing that saves it is the background musicians. Actually I completely zoned out for several songs, then I was near the end. I wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt but unfortunately felt relieved when the album ended so I'll go with my gut on this one. Best Song: My Foolish Heart, I Had The Craziest Dream, Não Bate O Coração

This album is so slight it disappears almost as soon as it's 27 minutes are over. The fact that the only things that stick are the awful Parade and a song sung with a child means it makes its mark in the wrong way.

Half an hour of tipsy lullabies, tropical hold music, and the soundtrack to a cutesy wes anderson montage. Sleepy, swishy, swinging subdued jazz and a hushed intimate vocal. Kind of a snoozefest

Nah

Elevator music. Pure and simple. The type of music you'd hear in a wanky wine bar or piano lounge. There's absolutely no meat on the bones of this album. There's nothing to sink your teeth into, and it all sounds like a variation on the same song. It not awful, it's just pretty samey and boring, and for me personally, it's background music at best. After 20 minutes you've heard it all and just want it to end.

Me no like

Wasted slot on this list any other Jobim album would be fine

This music is so reminiscent of the cultivated boredom of the late 50s that I almost dislocated my jaw when I yawned. I didn't have to listen to this album either. 1/5

Definitely not my thing. I feel this album did not age well.

I don't understand why this is on the list. It doesn't feel special or significant enough. Its a vibe but feels like an attempt for Gilberto to stay relevant after Girl From Ipanema and the far superior Getz/Gilberto album. Feels like campy over commercialized crap to me and not even close to her best work. Is this included solely to try to showcase her career outside Getz/Gilbert? Really no new ground broken here and not a significant album in any space. Does not belong on the list, so it's a 1. Also, Parade is one of the most annoying songs I've ever heard.

Kopfschmerzen hervorrufendes Katzengejammer mit Samba und Salsa Tönen. Man erkennt wie schrecklich lange 27 Minuten sein können.

Naja

If the Carpenters had been Brazilian…

60’s

Great music to work to. But forgettable. But a strong 1. It was good. Just nothing special.

I don’t like the beach, and I don’t like this album. Just exceedingly dull.

Maybe music to put you to sleep?

(Not) Elis Regina

hmmm.... some kind of weird combination of sounding like sound track for Austin Powers and sickly kids easy-listen remix of an album. Not really thing at all.

Terrible

Like being stuck in an elevator for three quarters of an hour. Much like being stuck in an elevator I desperately wanted out after the first 5 minutes

The album gave me restaurant vibes with background jazz music. Lovely orchestral music but it’s really not for me. It has a Disney vibe. Glad I gave it a go but I want be listening to this again. Favourite song: My foolish heart Least favourite song: You dont have to be so nice Album artwork: Nice cover.

Shit

At least it was short

Not for me

Mischung aus Fahrstuhlmusik und Love Boat. Nee.

My wife would like this one

Big snooze. Elevator music.

This reminds me of the soundtrack to Two Point Hospital. Until the parade song. And then the kid song. What the heck are those???? This album went downhill from decent background music to unbearable noise quickly. No kids should ever sing on non-kids music.

Bossa novan idea lienee siinä, että se on aina samaa? Englanniksi toimii huonommin kuin portugaliksi. Tämä on liian kilttiä, puuttuu pilke ja ilkikurisuus.

Kategoriassa "tahalliset yritykset ärsyttää kuulijaa" tämä on jossain lähellä keskitasoa.

One song away from wearing incontinence pants.

I don’t own a Vespa.

This hasn't aged particularly well has it? It sounds like a soundtrack to a shabby second rate film based on the French Riviera. Not for me.

Too old for me

Nope

Nah

The misc music you hear on 60s films that’s so uninteresting that you dont realise it’s there. Shouldn’t be boring, but it is. If this was a food, it would be a tin of butterbeans left in a cupboard for decades. Sorry Astrud.

If I wanted a whole album of on-hold or elevator music then this would be it. But I didn't and thought it was extremely forgettable.

Weird. Combination of hotel lobby, lift music and other nonsense. The one with the child singing was awful. One of the reviewers said it sounds like a music from a scene with the fembots in Austin powers, which is pretty accurate No thanks

Not my feeling

Pretty girl, pretty voice, pretty lame tunes.

It sounded as elevator music

Ugh. Saccharine Shite

I am not a samba fan. The lyrics on this one are real bad. especially the one that lists all the different parades like the black eyed peas listing the days of the week on that one song. Every song sounds the same except the parade one.

Almost all of this record is unforgivable.

I wanted to turn this off when i started listening. At no point did that change for me.

So. Much. Jazz flute. HARD PASS.

Really? Why in the world is THIS album on this list. I understand that Astrud Gilberto IS Bossa Nova vocals in North America. The Girl from Ipanema is iconic and I am aware of her work with her husband Jaoa and Stan Getz. Honestly I am unfamiliar with her solo work, but listening to this lightweight album with its MOR pop songs and its cheesy production its obvious that there must be more substantial examples of bossa nova stylings in her catalogue. And sure enough a quick look at her allmusic.com page reveals 2 4.5 star albums and Beach Samba as one of her worst albums. 1.5 🌟 (as a personal aside, the inclusion of this album ...and some others I've come across...completely undermines the list as a whole. I don't know if other more worthy Astrud Gilberto albums made the list but the inclusion of this obviously inconsequential album from an admittedly important figure in the world of jazz vocal in general and bossa nova in particular is just baffling to me.)

Not for me

Too old timey, slow samba feels

I may be middle aged but I'm still not ancient enough to enjoy this

Nothing special. No highlight tracks. Just was listened to, not enjoyed.

Ken haar alleen van Girl from Ipanima. Dat is nog wel te doen, maar dit is ronduit bagger. Je valszingende kind laten meeblèren doe je maar in je eigen tijd.

Het leek nog best ok te starten, maar toen er op een gegeven moment een heel dweilorkest langskwam ontspoorde het wel behoorlijk. En dat hele bossanova-achtige jazzy gefrunnik gaan m'n nekharen ook behoorlijk van overeind staan.

Not my thing.

No.

Style banal et creux selon moi, malgré la très jolie voix d'Astrud Gilberto. Certains titres sont fun mais plutôt dans un style fête foraine. J'avoue avoir vécu cette écoute comme un supplice et j'ai été incapable de tenir mon engagement d'écouter chaque album en entier.

Absolute bollocks

Absolute bollocks, shouldn't be on this or any other list. Well, maybe a list of shite albums.

Originally from the album title I thought! Great samba! And then I was bitterly disappointed. I would describe this as ‘divorce music’ and not the fun empowering kind. This album is 28mins of pure wet papier-mâché.

This reminds me of something a middle school jazz band would play. At the same time, I feel like to should be drinking whiskey at work. If someone came over and I put this on, I would want to punch me in the face.

irritating af... hard to distinguish from my mood but still not sure this would ever not annoy the shit out of me

T