Van Halen

FML 2

Technically proficient, but boring as hell.

Ok, but not my thing

Arguably the best sounding guitar-rock album if you enjoy silly songs and killer musicians going into a full "performative", self-indulging mode. Let me elaborate on that, starting with the "performative mode". Because let's face it folks: what's the real point of "Eruption", apart from telling the audience: "Look how good, how *godly* I am with those six strings"? Yeah man, well, Jimi Hendrix was godly too. The main difference, a *pivotal* one, is that Hendrix's solos, as complex and rich and technically difficult as they were, also told a musical story that meant something in the *overall context* of his songs or live performances. In contrast, "Eruption"' solo is a masturbatory feat that, very tellingly, is placed as an aside, and so, in its own little box. And the fact that this short track is the second of the album only reinforces this sense of containment, oddly enough. Obviously, the "volcanic" overtones of "Eruption" tell the story of an ejaculation, so when I say "masturbatory", I do realize that Eddie Van Halen, God rest his soul, had all that in mind as well. But where a guy like Hendrix stroked and pleasured himself as part of his "lovemaking" to the audience, Van Halen sounds on his own, as if he was locked in the restroom so as to relieve himself from that technical feat that burdens his mind. Maybe this alienated, onanistic overtone stems from the fact that the little story that "Eruption" tells you has no real point. Or maybe it's because the whole intent is very naive, come to think of it. What this solo mostly tells you is this: here's a gifted kid playing with his tool, look how good he is! There's nothing else, no other layer to this thing. Which might have its own sort of immature charm, I'll grant you that. "Immature" still being the word to remember nonetheless. As for the "silly" songs, there's the same sort of line that the band constantly straddles throughout this record, aptly summarized by the ambiguity of the word "silly" in its modern usage. Because those songs are indeed both fun AND ridiculous, both catchy AND obnoxious, both smartly done AND dumb. Gosh, that doo-wop bridge at the end of "I'm the One". Is it genius or slapstick comedy? Can it be both as well? And, OK, I get it guys, "Ain't Talking About Love" has a killer riff, and in itself, it's a great tune. But even that one can make you smirk at times. I mean those "hey! hey! hey!" background vocals are a little dumb, are they not? "Jamie's Crying" and "Runnin' With The Devil" are not too bad either. Unfortunately, once you switch to side B, stinkers abound. I'm not even bothering quoting names of the latter, they don't deserve it, honestly. So Side A could have been a great one, at least, had it not been for that stupid and awkward cover of the Kinks' "You Really Got Me". It's a song I normally love, and the mere fact that some ill-informed, misguided reviewer on this app thought (or pretended) that the song was a Van Halen original makes me want to puke. In a sense, that cover version also tells you that the band was aware that the quality of their own songwriting was not up *always* to the task of equalling their crazy ambition, at least at the time. In that regard, *1984*, the other landmark album from Van Halen, which followed this debut, is both an improvement and an exacerbation of Van Halen's faults oddly enough. Because the songs of this other record are both funnier AND even more ridiculous, both catchier AND more obnoxious, both more sophisticate AND, in the end, ultimately... dumber. You get the idea here, I'm sure. But that's a story for another time, kiddies, at least if Dimery and co. dared including that other Van Halen LP in their list. So in other words, and to put it in a nutshell, *Van Halen* will be the best band for you if you love cheese. And given the number of positive reactions in the reviews here, it's crazy how many people just *love* cheese. I myself usually love it, you know. By "cheese", I mean the real deal here, the food. But I'm French, so that probably doesn't count. :) "Oh, he's a French guy, that explains everything," I hear some of you thinking out loud. Well, if you think my review is a little too *arrogant*, just remember this. Eddie Van Halen started it. You have to be very arrogant to record something like "Eruption". Or maybe, as I've already suggested, you have to be very sincere. And naive. I'm not comparing myself to a properly divine musician such as Eddie VH, obviously. But if there's one tiny little thing I may share with him, it's that what I've just said in this review comes from a very sincere place, as arrogant as it may sound to some. And all I ask, is that you guys can give me the benefit of the doubt, just as I did for Van Halen here. There is indeed something a little *ridiculous* about this LP (another very ambiguous word these days, huh?). And pretending that elephant is not in the room will never be the best way to "defend" it. I dunno, maybe you need to embrace the sheer foolishness of this record to fully enjoy it. You tell me. But as hard as I try to let go, it's not exactly working for me. Maybe I'll buy a Van Halen greatest hits album one day, if it's not pestered by the presence of too many duds, and that's gonna be the extent of my involvement with this band. No big deal. And more power to you if you *can* let go, folks! Now, next, please.

Meh men gøy med gitarsoli

It’s alright I guess

Ihan yllättävän kiva poppislevy. Kitaraa ei säästellä

Ain't Talkin' Bout Love ja Kinks-koveri ovat "ihan hauskoja". Ja hei, saattaisin soittaa joskus tulevaisuudessa lapselleni Eruptionin ihan vain näyttääkseni, että heh, tällainenkin tehtiin ennen kuin isä oli syntynyt. Siitä toinen piste.

Well I mean, I didn't hate it, but it's just not something I love. I'm not against anything in this album, there's nothing lazy or unoriginal or lacking in spirit. I just think I might be alive at the wrong time to enjoy this album, because it just rolls off me like nothing happened. Lots of heavy guitars tend to do that to me, and this album has a texture whose sameness I can't really appreciate. Just don't think it's for me! Nothing wrong with it, though. I’m open to several more listens. 2/5

Just a big over the top album. About as cheesy as it gets in the best way. Pretty fun, but this is nothing I could ever consider with any seriousness.

Big 8o’s

It's the sound of an era, when rock was lots of big sounds from the axe and smashing of drums... very little else. Van Halen not one of the best acts to execute this formula, but then again, not the worst. As an artist or an album I would never listen to it, but rating what i have listened to on this album, it will scrape a 2... but only barely.

Dad rock

So so, I prefer the backing vocals to the lead. Bit dated now

Heard it before?: No Enjoy it?: Not really, felt very understated and devoid Favourite song: didn’t have one

Probably innovative at the time, super passe now. At least the 'best guitar solo of all time' is mercifully short. Does it even have a structure? Or is he just doing technically interesting things?

Bästa: Little dreamer Sämsta: Ice cream man

Naah, not for me mate. But understand why people might like it

Pop pretending to be rock

Eh. I’ll have to give it a relisten

Songs were a bit too repetitive, but made me nostalgic for lechfest

Beetje van halen overload. Vond die ander leuker

Im going to go to the Hard Rock Cafe, order a steak and drink some Jack Daniels like the coolest man in the world.

Eddie! I knew he was a no good kid.

For a moment I had to check, I thought this was a spoof album by Spinal Tap.

Not a Van Halen guy. Nice, quick, 11 track 35 minute album though. A solid debut album if you're into this band's sound, which again I'm not really. Standout Tracks: Runnin' with the Devil, Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love, Atomic Punk, Ice Cream Man

It fair bops along and it’s everything you expect. Breaking no new ground, guitar riffs and splashy drums, you know what this is.

To screechy and hard-rocky. So many recognizable tunes but just not my thang.

Not as bad as I thought it would be. Not too bad Kinks cover.

Cringe vox and songs. Sounds like Kiss without the disco. The guitar brings amazing melody, harmony, and rhythm to some otherwise lame toolbox rock tunes.

Hard rock sans any threat of danger, sexiness, irreverence, politics, brains. Plus points: it's compact and they can play their instruments very fast, which are really the same thing.

Not my cup of tea.

Technically well done but feels slick, shallow and soulless. This is the music you'd get if you asked an algorithm to write 80s rock.

Not really the biggest fan on Van Halen and didn’t think much of this album either. Not one I think I’d ever return too in the future, no particular stand alone single in this album either. Many many better rock and 70s albums about.

Interesting guitar noodling masks poor album

Didn't much care for it.

Not as bad as I was expecting, but still not for me.

Yh olipa geneeristä kasarirockia ja joka biisi kuulostaa samalta.

I mean it's tens for the guitar, maybe 5s for the songwriting (bumped because 'Aint Talking Bout Love') and at best a 2 for the vocals, which are an approximation of passion most likely muddled up with constipation? Eruption is like a threat to all other guitarists. You want to play, Eddie is the end of level boss. If only there were a world where Eddie Van Halen met different people this would be Hendrix/Sabbath levels of great.

Meh....dull, dated technical playing, with too much treble. A few cool riffs, that work better sampled in other songs, apollo 440 'ain't talkin' 'bout dub' ...but nothing much for me here

Åter igen inte superspännande, men det funkar. Några bangers dock.

Klassisk glamrock. Fattar att det är SVÅRT att spela elgitarr jättesnabbt och att Eddie Van Halen är DUKTIG, men även om jag kan uppskatta själva hantverket får det mig inte att känna speciellt mycket. Låtarna är för rättfram, enkla, släta, vilket gör att de blir lätta att glömma. Bäst är Little Dreamer. Eruption ska ju vara historiens bästa gitarrsolo, och visst, det är väl bra. Det känns fel att refrängen i The Kinks-covern sjöngs på amerikansk "You Really Got MEE" istället för brittisk "You Really Got MEH". Bästa låt: Little Dreamer.

It seems churlish to give this a rating because it is so 'of its time', but, you know...

So. Many. Guitar Solos.

First track (Running With The Devil) was amazing, with some tasteful melodic solos and insistent harmony vocals. Thought I was in for a treat. Sadly that hope quickly evaporated with the second track, one and and a half minutes if guitar wankathon. Yeah it was Ok in places, but mostly just meh.

Not as bad as I feared. Guitar solo song strangely com0leling

I've never been a big Van Halen fan, and, now that I've heard a full album by them, I'm still not.

Bleh, I didn't really get it. I mean it's definitely distinctive, and has its moments (especially the first few songs), but a bit over the top for me.

Fine

Runnin With the Devil is a great song and Eruption is very impressive, but the rest of the album is just very anticlimactic. Lots of flash but no substance

sort of fun but not my thing. 2

Meh

Bit of a groan when i saw this, but was ok

Fun in it's own way - nothing ground breaking, but I guess it was 1978. Nothing tagged to be added as a favourite. Don't understand the hype around these guys except for Murica F Yeah

Instantly forgettable average rock.

Another classic cockrock record. Fav tracks: - Running With The Devil - Eruption - Ice Cream Man Least fav: - Feel Your Love Tonight

Offensichtlich schlecht gealtert und größtenteils uninteressant. Aber ein 1-3 catchy tracks sind hier schon drauf, zb. You Really Got Me ist obergeil tbh, und Jamie's Cryin geht auch irgendwie klar, weil weniger soli!! Ansonsten naja MEH

N@j@

Sure is glam metal! I liked the cover of 'You Really Got Me'.

Actually didn't dislike as much as I expected but still not really my sort of thing

Can't say I liked this one very much

Not for me, but the guitar on this album is insane.

I did not like this.

┐(￣ヘ￣;)┌ It wasn't bad, but it was boring. I have nothing to say.

Too rock but some classics

I liked it

Still don’t like this band. Their entire catalog could have been cut to two songs from this record and then maybe I’d have thought they were the greatest band in the world but they just had to keep going 🤷🏼‍♂️

Well, it’s dreadful. I thought it might be fun, but it’s not. Obvious, boring poodle rock, hair metal from the 80s. Probably a 1.5*.

Not my taste

A bit of fun, bit over the top - maybe more of it's time

Such cliched lyrics, such over-the-top guitar playing, and that voice I so despise - actually more the singer than the voice. I really don’t like them but I would have been very surprised if these anthems didn’t make it onto the 1001 list.

Mostly what's novel are the guitar solos, much of the vocals import a lot from other older music at the time and the musicality that accompanies those vocals doesn't do much to stand out save for a few tracks.

Really tried to understand it. The covers were great tho

it feels so old and tired. or maybe that's me. i genuinely wonder what kind of people still like this music. even the aging-loser-who-peaked-in-the-80s stereotype feels dated.

Mja, Van Halen zal voor mij altijd die gast van de Beat It solo zijn. Openingsnummer is bekend, maar verder sprak het me niet zo aan.

Hmja, paar aardige tracks die nog wel een beetje een scherp randje hebben, maar het verzandde toch best snel in wat pathetisch big-hair-loud-guitar-solo geneuzel.

2 Van Halen albums in 3 days. Wow. Their first, and in my opinion less like-able. A couple of tracks were not bad but this isn't for me. If you must make this sort of mindless no depth music at least make it catchy, fun and have some hooks. Thats missing here. Sounds like a parody of everything they think a rock band should be. 2/5

Ah sure Jump isn't on this album :( Pretty quintessential example of 80s hard rock. Not exactly my style, the guitar solos are really long and boring. But still it's a fun album. Downrated for the dodgy rapey lyrics: "We're gettin' funny in the back of my car I'm sorry honey, if I took it just you little too far, yes"

Not terrible, but not really my jam.

Tempofyldt, vild elguitar, hard rock

not a big fan

So many things about VH annoy me: his voice, the gratuitous guitar solos, the aggressiveness toward the ladies....

I honestly thought this would be crass, moronic, LA poodle rock garbage…….and it is.

Sorry to break it to you guys but these songs have disjointed musical parts that are not very interesting.

Ik vind dat een gitaarsolo iets toe moet voegen aan een nummer. Van Halen gebruikt zijn gitaar om de aandacht weg te trekken van hoe slecht de nummers zijn. Bij de gitaarsolo’s gaat het ook niet om de muziek, maar het uitsloven van zijn technische kunsten. Het voelt daardoor misplaatst. Ik zou niet zeggen dat dit goede solo’s zijn.

The only good song was You Really Got Me but only because The Kinks made that one.

utterly dire, probably the worst one on this list yet imo. just lacking any sort of soul or human touch. arrogant in a way that i would normally find funny on another metal record, ended up just falling so flat here. first time i'd really listened to eruption since i was like 11 (which i'd assume is the target audience for this album) and its just so.. nothing. just a waste of time

I have a visceral reaction to preening hair metal from this era - I feel exactly the same way about Aerosmith. Anyway, this was painfully bad.

This is just mediocre butt rock. Actually, Mediocre is putting it nicely, I didn’t enjoy very much of this at all. It was too much of a “look at how well I can play this guitar” as much as it was genuinely compelling music.

I grew up listening to a A LOT of classic rock... My dad's fault. I learned to appreciate most of it. But, as my dad already knows, I'll be giving this album a 1. Despite it being loaded with "hits," I just can't stand David Lee Roth's voice and the whole Van Halen vibe has always felt off to me.

I am not exactly the biggest fan of this genre of music so i found it hard to enjoy (i only listened to the first song). There really was no element of the song- running with the devil- that i enjoyed, not even the drums (which is usually the reason many songs are so vibey) not to mention the name of the song doesn't even sit right with me. For this reason i am giving this album (all based on the first song which genuinely speaking is kind of like a sneak peak into what the whole album has to offer) a 0.5/10. The .5 is because i- actually i don't know i just don't want to give it a 0.

the ultimate cock rock experience

A load of guff. To have a wank fest solo as the 2nd track sets the tone for me. His singer voice has a nasty sneer to it. A terrible Kinks cover and the ice cream song is cringe. I was going to score it 2 - but have talked myself into a 1.

Good grief - if that opening sound isn't the sound of the Vecna's clock on Stranger Things then I'm Dave Lee Roth's codpiece. Unfortunately, such menacing ambience quickly gives way to soft-rock 80s distortion, and meaningless plod. 'Runnin' with the Devil' should be 'Runnin' in the Treacle' such is its leaden pace. 'Ain't Talkin Bout Love' is one of rock's great riffs, yet not backed up by a great song; and it took 'Apollo 440' to make it zing. What does it leave? Just a feeling of great emptiness. The best bit is when it's anchored back to the original rockers with 'You Really Got Me', which is a fair cover, just drowned in VH's big tone and pinched harmonics. And even then it can't be said to be 'good'. The whole album cocks a snook at the energy of prog rock, punk, metal and altern rock to create a completely new brand of insipid.

incrivelmente chato é mto divertido ver esses caras (tecnicamente incríveis) sendo completamente SEM SAL no que fazem como o amigo disse, depois de uma certa idade só é chato foda-se eu e meus manos preferimos solos simples mas com feeling

Spooky

I hated all of this

Glad to have finally got this out of the way. Bela and Mum were claiming to enjoy it. I honestly can't understand how.

Worst one yet

Интересно, но не мой стиль. Единственная самая популярная песня в спотифай Sultans of Swing. Она неплохая. В целом альбом так себе

I cannot listen to any Van Halen song in its entirety - I tried

Nahh

This kind of crap gives dad rock a bad name

This shit sucks

3/10 Fav: -

Oh dear, I'm feelin' a bit queasy at the prospect of listenin' to this. In 'bout 1978 there was so much classy new music in the air, and this sauropod rock appears. I've played it through twice. Really quite dull and there's an odd bloke playing twiddly-diddly guitar off in the left channel and sort of mixed down.

deedledeeeeWAAAAAAAO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH baby mama Wyannnnowww. This was..not my jam.

One hit wonders in my country and this LP doesn’t even have the hit. Ponderous pop rock with an awful singer. Often everything stops while the guitarist “shreds” it sounds like he’s concentrating really hard with his tongue stuck out. There’s a version of the Kinks’s You Really Got Me that has none of the energy of the original. All in all it as if the Saffron Walden Townswomen’s Guild’s UFO tribute band decided to become an original act but the normal singer phoned in sick that day and they got the lass who makes the cucumber sandwiches to fill in. If you like your rock n roll devoid of anything that rocks or rolls this is for you.

Very loud! A lot of things happening at once. I didn’t enjoy it tbh- not my kind of music. I guess the electric guitar was impressive (?) but I don’t know enough about it to understand that. I do enjoy the fashion and costuming associated with this era, though, and I really like the cover. I’m sure bands like this were amazing to see live in their prime and always put on a good show. Maybe the album was wasted on me, idk. Favourite song: ice cream man (I like ice cream)

no soy muy fan de esta era del rock la verdad

I understand some people really love Van Halen. I just don’t.

Didn’t realize I had heard some of the songs before. Not a bad album just not for me!

Van failen hahha

Absolute shithouse. Could not finish it

No thanks

Nope

Absolutely not for me

this is why i love this list. i thought i knew exactly what i was getting in to with van halen, shitty run of the mill hair metal band, but boy was i wrong. they are all that and have the audacity to scat as well! who knew

Mad and maddening guitar solos, reminiscent of every American frat movie. Pointless unless you need it to tune your air guitar.

classic dad rock. not a fan

A load of guff. To have a wank fest solo as the 2nd track sets the tone for me. His singer voice has a nasty sneer to it. A terrible Kinks cover and the ice cream song is cringe. I was going to score it 2 - but have talked myself into a 1.

Yes, he was a great guitar player. No, I still can't forgive the Kinks cover. Meh

My dad loves Van Halen so I have to hate it. It’s not hard to hate. The screechy vocals and cheesy lyrics are enough to put me off. Eddie Van Halen is the only reason to listen.

It is what it is, and it is not for me.

Aika raastavaa kuunneltavaa. Siis oikeasti ihan hemmetin raskasta. Inhoan David Lee Rothin ääntä, ja kaikkia noita öyh-ääntelyitä mitä se päästelee tuollain esi-cheekmaisesti. Siihen päälle todella rasittavan kuuloista (toki varmasti sinällään ihan taitavaa) Eddie Van Halenin kitarointia, ja vähän tuommoista Mötley Crüen (en voi sietää) kuuloista meininkiä, niin voin sanoa että 35 minuuttia tuntui 35 tunnilta. Napalm Deathistakin löytyi yksi positiivinen asia (alkoi naurattamaan), niin koitetaan väkisin kaivaa tästäkin. Apollo 440 teki alkuperäistä paljon paremman version tuosta Ain't talkin bout Lovesta, että kai siinä oli ihan hyvä aihio biisiin. Mutta valitettavasti sekin hautautuu kaiken paskan alle. Jos voisi, niin antaisin nolla tähteä. Niin hirveä raiskaus Kinksin klassikosta tuo You Really Got Me on. Ja varsinkin levyn jälkimmäinen puolisko on täynnä toinen toistaan kamalampia biisejä. Vihasin jokaista hetkeä joka tämän levyn parissa meni. Toki vika on varmaan vaan minussa, kai tämä ihan yleisesti ottaen laajaa arvostusta nauttii. En vaan itse ole koskaan diggaillut tämmöisestä musasta.

Absolutely not.

Just not my thing

Not for me at all, I really don't get hair metal and all the guitar solos. Just does nothing for me.

Woeful

Hair Rock

Had high hopes but man was this boring.

It fucking sucks Fav song: You Really Got Me

Hate Hair bands. Each person by themselves are very talented, so you would expect the music to be great, but it never is.

Hard rock en glam metal albums, keep them coming! Ik blijf stug en stoïcijns 1 sterren geven hoor. 'Running With The Devil' is natuurlijk best geinig en catchy, maar het opvolgende halfuur (de rest van het album) was ronduit stupide. Die blues intro van 'Ice Cream Man' deed even wat verrassends, maar ook die song transformeerde langzaam in een hair-rock anthem. Het is allemaal zo ontzettend voorspelbaar wat deze bands doen. En dat blijft me verbazen, dus wat dat betreft hebben ze wel een verrassingsfactor. 5/10

Jeetje wat een taaie sessie. Opluchting van het ontbreken van Jump op dit album overheerst. 3/10 Highlights You Really Got Me

Ridiculous

Just not a van Halen guy ar all. I'll start with the good. Like 80% of this record was hits. They made bank I bet. And the guitar tone really is one of a kind. I do like that. But that's where my list of pros ends. The vocals suck so very much. I hate them 100%. Eruption isn't a song. It's just a solo. What is this doo wop thing they got going on a surprising number of times in 30 minutes. Also there is another pro. It's merciful lengthwise. It's just not my thing. If you love van Halen then hell yes brother sister man friend. I'm happy for you. Just don't play that shit anywhere near me.

oh har har. the joke's on me. I get it. I bitched on the Basement Jaxx review that I wanted real music and not electronic jingles- and you said, "I know what technically fits the bill! here's every drunken frat boy in the 1980s favorite album to dream of glory to." this music is awful. shrieky vocals, empty lyrics, ostentatioius guitar solos devoid of purpose or soul and plodding lifeless drums. stupid cock-rock for stadiums full of stupid people. the boys are all technically competent, and you can, in moments, hear the better band that they could have been- there's a bit of punk energy that eeks out in a few moments that if the album wasn't overproduced to hell and the boys weren't set on chasing mainstream glory, could have made a better album. they certainly are capapble of writing catchy songs- if only they hadn't used their talents to evil ends. bring back the robots I guess; there's no hope for humanity.

Van Halen is great example of a group that is technically proficient, but so so boring. It is montage music. On its own it offers nothing. Put it as the backing track to a cool work out montage? Then it'll be pretty neat.

This was only about half an hour long, but felt like an eternity. I appreciate Mr Van Halen has shredding chops, but to me this is like hyper realistic illustrations: technically impressive, but utterly soulless and devoid of any interest.

Goofy dipshit music.

Day 98 - No idea when I got assigned this I hate Van Halen

This album (like every Van Halen album) has absolutely no substance, other than just screeching and over the top guitar riffs.

Clowns

can't take it seriously

1 I don't like it the lyrics and I just don't like it 1 I don't like this one either 1 I don't like it

Wasn't into it all.

Some great tracks but a bit boring compared to his other albums

alguien debería acabar con tanto sufrimiento (solo escuché 2)

Lökigt!! Alla låtar handlar om bruudar och har van Halen körandes ett självgott och för mig ointressant gitarrsolo.

Running with the devil: Gillar inte soundet. Lite töntigt. Tror inte Van Halen är för mig. Duktig gitarrist dock. Eruption: Mer lökig gitarr. Väck mig när det blir intressant. You really got me: Kan bara tänka på guitar hero. Den bästa låten än så länge. Ain't talking about love: Han älskar verkligen det där gitarrljudet. Nä, det här är verkligen inte för mig. Otroligt lökiga texter också. Allt är bara en enda stor runkfest för gitarrister. Intentsägande idag. Kanske var revolutionerande när det kom? Jamie's crying: Helt ok Andra halvan av albumet är bättre mindre lökig gitarr. Snarkigt att alla texter handlar om sex och bruuudar.

utter cock rock.

No, just no. I can’t say more. Other reviewers have summed up the complete waste of talent on this endless noise.

Complete nonsense

I feel like I have the cilantro tasting like soap gene except for w Van Halen’s music, because these songs sound like complete shit across the board to me. The vocals. The guitar. The songs themselves, other than Jamie’s crying. It all sounds so cheesy and simultaneously overproduced and underbaked. Still, VH’s near legendary status makes me think there is some context I’m missing - something that doesn’t translate across eras. Like maybe vh’s tone and playing was so innovative and new at the time that nothing else mattered? Because other than that it doesn’t seem like there’s anything else here. Even eruption just sounds like button mashing to me. I don’t know. Maybe this is just the kind of music that isn’t meant to be listened to w a critical ear. Still, even trying to be open minded - I hate this. I went to a neighborhood party recently and this other Dad was going on and on about how innovative and fresh these death metal bands he’s into are (while shitting on steely Dan! The nerve) - so I tried to have an open mind and went home and listened. It was the worst shit id ever heard! Not only unlistenable but also cliche, pandering, derivative dreck. I felt like he’d tricked me into dog food or something. I honestly think liking the shit he recommended means you are subhuman and it shouldn’t be a crime to physically assault you - or at least it should be a reduced crime, like animal cruelty. Next time I see this dude I’m gonna (be polite and say it was interesting) slap him in the face and I don’t think there should be any consequences. Anyway, I don’t quite feel the same way listening to VH, but it’s a similarly alienating experience. Whew, back to back 1s for me. I swear I’m actually a pretty happy person.

Not my fave

The opening riff from Ain’t Talking About Love amazing. The rest of the album is trash.

I would give it zero stars if that were an option.

this shit kinda sucks.

Great guitar sounds and a good cover of You Really Got Me, but really this is just pompous nonsense.

Less is more is obviously not a philosophy that Eddie Van Halen subscribes to. Kinks version of Really Got Me is far superior.

Es gibt besseres

No, not for me. Uninspiring rhythms, noodly, self-indulgent guitar and tedious melodies. Neither poppy nor heavy enough. The best song was the Kinks cover.

Shit. Total shit.

Obviously talented musicians, but feels like music with no inspiration. Absolutely not my thing

really really not for me. butt rock at its finest

I get the appeal especially when it’s nostalgic and the talent associated with it but it doesn’t quite hit for me. There are elements that I could like but all together it sounds cheesy to me and uninteresting. Little Dreamer was the only one with potential for me to like if it was edited back and Ice Cream Man I liked a bit but it was a throwback sound for them not written by them. The album does not hold the test of time for me like many other albums still do.

No music, just noise

Relentless chunggh-chunggh blues with the lyrical sophistication of a broken brick.

Ugh.

What a stunning waste of a talented guitarist. It's like a science experiment has taken place to remove all the soul, love and nuance from music, and then distilled it through someone who has learned all of the technique of playing the guitar, but doesn't know what it can really do. The best song is a cover of the Kinks that is approximately six million times worse than the Kinks version. Dreadful.

Ein Meilenstein: bestimmt - aber keiner für mich.

I don't like Van Halen.

I am sorry to all the fans but I can not really listen to this for more than 2 minutes without being bored to death. Lo-Fi girl 24/7 video is more entertaining for me than this. I do not doubt that people who enjoy this have many good things to say. Usually I try to be objective with ratings but I dont think I have anything positive to say about this. I dont even feel this album got much impact on music of todays and time is usually biggest art critique. I guess it might not have stood the test of time then.

I was expecting to get shingles listening to this. Pleased when I didn't. Musically not my thing, and was mildly impressed with Ed's guitar playing. A high 1

Too rocky for me

Unbearable!

ugh fineee mines better - - - LISTEN CONFESSIONS II - - - on all streaming platforms NOW!!

Maybe you just had to be there but I just can't stand hair metal. So lame and cheesy.

I didn't listen to this album

Not for me

no. utter shite.

It would be good if it didn't suck.

Didn’t finish.

Shmeh. Bog-standard dad rock.

Juuh meinasi pilata kauniin aamun. Oli siinä joitain ihan hyviä koukkuja esim. ekassa biisissä. 1.5/5

Hair metal? Cock rock? Whatever subgenre this is i don't like it at all

Shit.

My favorite song was a bad Kinks cover. The electric guitar annoyed me

Awful. Embarrassing

Absolutely not.

Refused to listen. You might as well ask me to take up ballet. Not going to happen.

Das war nicht nur heftig langweilig und nervtötend, sondern hat mich an einigen Stellen echt aktiv wütend gemacht. Auf 30 Minuten ist das irgendwann die reinste Qual, will nicht wissen wie das wäre wenn es noch länger wär.

Van Halens "Eruption" and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. Damit meine ich die Art, Gitarre zu spielen, die von Van Halen pioniert wurde und heute noch einen großen raum in der "Kultur" des Instruments einnimmt. Das ist natürlich eine persönliche Meinung, aber ich finde diese Art von Musik einfach schrecklich. Weder die Songs noch das Gitarrenspiel an sich haben irgendwas besonders. Über den Verlauf des Albums jault die Lead-Gitarre immer im Hintergrund wird, dass man nicht mal die songs an sich wirklich hört. Vielleicht ist das bezweckt, da auch diese keinen Funken Originalität haben. Treffenderweise gibt es hier auch ein Kinks cover, dass außer Tiergeräuschen und dem üblichen Gitarrengedudel keine neuen Ideen hat. Das hier ist das erste Album in der Serie, nachdem ich eine schlechtere Laune als zuvor hatte. Und Musik muss wirklich viel "leisten", damit mir das passiert.

Also es ist irgendwie diese Mischung aus extrem simplem Riffing (vgl. zeitgleiche Entstehung von Punk) und diesen total übertriebenen Solos + der Glam Stimme die das Ding nicht greifbar für mich machen. I'm the one fand ich rythmisch ganz interessant aber dieser Zwang gleichzeitig komplex und zugänglich zu sein wirkt für mich heute einfach peinlich. Das war leider echt nix für mich. Kann mir einfach keine Situation vorstellen wo eine Person abseits von Jugend Nostalgie sagt "jo genau DAS muss ich jetzt hören".

Extrem tedious.

10

I loathe long electric guitar solos. I understand the contribution to rock. It doesn’t get much appreciation from me.

Rock and roll

Oh god just more pure classic rock, just too much to handle. I imagine one of these songs on there own I could get on board with, but in one hit is a bit much

Meh

absolutely not!!

Not a huge fan of it due to the genre of the album is Hard Rock and Heavy Metal. Plus, the beats of each song sound exactly the same to me due to the over usage of a guitar. Overall, I only liked 2 songs from the album but barely at that.

Didn't rate this at all

Boring

Not my cup o tea

Garbage - band and songs sound like they have just been stuck onto some guitar licks - says it all when the best song is a kinks cover

Not really my cup of tea 🍵

I'm not gonna lie... hairband music triggers me 8 out of 10 times. Its not them its me, people love this band. But I really don't like it. I am not into the theatricality of it, the hair, the makeup, the "glamor", the tight pants, and the moderate tempo with a giant splashy snare. I acknowledge this is a band that changed Rock, and are talented musicians... just not in a way I vibe with. Shout out to eruption's guitar solo, it sure sounds like it was hard to do, and its sure hard not press fast forward. I think most of all its the lack of groove, this music never gets my body moving. glam out of 5

Three kind of lack luster albums in a row this week. Dated. Not terrible, but this kind of sounds like a parody of a big flashy guitar album at this point. It is impressive how almost every song is familiar... but it is most certainly not timeless like some other 70s albums we've listened to. 1.5

Obviously not

Nooooooooooooooooo

Ugh, horrific pedestrian plodding enlivened with what are now rather hackneyed guitar solos. Of its time. Not one to tolerate now.

Already listened. Classic rock album, not my complete cup of tea but some excellent little jams on this.