842
Albums Rated
2.64
Average Rating
77%
Complete
247 albums remaining
Rating Distribution
Rating Timeline
Taste Profile
2020
Favorite Decade
Blues
Favorite Genre
UK
Top Origin
Critic
Rater Style ?
69
5-Star Albums
168
1-Star Albums
Breakdown
By Genre
Top Styles
By Decade
By Origin
Albums
You Love More Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Bone Machine
Tom Waits
|
5 | 2.85 | +2.15 |
|
Broken English
Marianne Faithfull
|
5 | 2.89 | +2.11 |
|
Blood And Chocolate
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
|
5 | 2.91 | +2.09 |
|
Rapture
Anita Baker
|
5 | 2.94 | +2.06 |
|
Introducing The Hardline According To Terence Trent D'Arby
Terence Trent D'Arby
|
5 | 2.98 | +2.02 |
|
Ray Of Light
Madonna
|
5 | 3 | +2 |
|
Veckatimest
Grizzly Bear
|
5 | 3.05 | +1.95 |
|
I Want To See The Bright Lights Tonight
Richard Thompson
|
5 | 3.05 | +1.95 |
|
Smile
Brian Wilson
|
5 | 3.05 | +1.95 |
|
Dare!
The Human League
|
5 | 3.06 | +1.94 |
You Love Less Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Black Sabbath
Black Sabbath
|
1 | 3.82 | -2.82 |
|
The Low End Theory
A Tribe Called Quest
|
1 | 3.7 | -2.7 |
|
The Score
Fugees
|
1 | 3.69 | -2.69 |
|
Buena Vista Social Club
Buena Vista Social Club
|
1 | 3.66 | -2.66 |
|
Van Halen
Van Halen
|
1 | 3.63 | -2.63 |
|
A Love Supreme
John Coltrane
|
1 | 3.63 | -2.63 |
|
good kid, m.A.A.d city
Kendrick Lamar
|
1 | 3.62 | -2.62 |
|
Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)
Wu-Tang Clan
|
1 | 3.61 | -2.61 |
|
In A Silent Way
Miles Davis
|
1 | 3.61 | -2.61 |
|
Stankonia
OutKast
|
1 | 3.55 | -2.55 |
Artists
Favorites
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Beatles | 7 | 4.14 |
| Madonna | 2 | 5 |
| David Bowie | 8 | 4 |
| Tom Waits | 3 | 4.33 |
| The Beach Boys | 3 | 4.33 |
| Kate Bush | 3 | 4.33 |
Least Favorites
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Miles Davis | 4 | 1.5 |
| My Bloody Valentine | 2 | 1 |
| Jane's Addiction | 2 | 1 |
| Pere Ubu | 2 | 1 |
| Ice Cube | 2 | 1 |
| Pavement | 2 | 1 |
| LCD Soundsystem | 2 | 1 |
| The Divine Comedy | 2 | 1 |
| The Velvet Underground | 3 | 1.67 |
| Metallica | 3 | 1.67 |
| Dexys Midnight Runners | 3 | 1.67 |
| Sonic Youth | 3 | 1.67 |
| Yes | 2 | 1.5 |
| Genesis | 2 | 1.5 |
| The Prodigy | 2 | 1.5 |
| Dinosaur Jr. | 2 | 1.5 |
| Run-D.M.C. | 2 | 1.5 |
| Grateful Dead | 2 | 1.5 |
| Can | 2 | 1.5 |
| Common | 2 | 1.5 |
| OutKast | 2 | 1.5 |
| New Order | 2 | 1.5 |
| Iron Maiden | 2 | 1.5 |
| A Tribe Called Quest | 2 | 1.5 |
| King Crimson | 2 | 1.5 |
| Depeche Mode | 2 | 1.5 |
| Echo And The Bunnymen | 3 | 2 |
| Public Enemy | 3 | 2 |
| Talking Heads | 4 | 2.25 |
Controversial
| Artist | Ratings |
|---|---|
| Spiritualized | 5, 1 |
| PJ Harvey | 3, 5, 1 |
| Black Sabbath | 5, 1, 3 |
| Willie Nelson | 4, 1 |
| Green Day | 2, 5 |
5-Star Albums (69)
View Album Wall
Popular Reviews
Liars · 8 likes
1/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2004. 1 star.
Pretentious, irritating, pointless noise. WTF is this shit doing on this list, and who selected it?
Kendrick Lamar · 8 likes
1/5
Not in my edition of the book so! Obviously not essential to listen to before you die! 2012. 1 star.
Purile, sexist, misogynistic, obnoxious shite that gets boring reallll fast.
Strange that it's OK for black rappers to use the N* word but if anyone else does you're racist. Or that it's OK for them to call women bitches and pussy and hoes (whores), but if anyone else does you're misogynistic. Or that it's OK from them to to boast about how high and doped they get, but if anyone else does then you're just a fucked up junkie. Just saying.
"I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower/So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". FFS, grow up.
Steely Dan · 7 likes
2/5
p301, 1973. 2 stars.
Early hipster jazz-rock. Look how well we can play our instruments! Look how fast we can go! Look how precise we are! Look at the polish and sheen and shiny chrome! All at the expense of any emotion or feeling. It doesn't help that Donald Fagin sounds stoned on every track. And it has an electric piano ffs. The entire album sounds like something you'd hear in the lift or restaurant in an expensive hotel.
Technically excellent, but zero heart or soul. 2 stars for some sharp lyrics and for the guitar work, even if that does stray into 70's "look how fast I can play" wankage a lot of the time. Thank god for punk.
k.d. lang · 6 likes
3/5
p688. 1992. 3 stars
Middle of the road songs offset by terrific voice and production. There simply aren't enough standout songs - after a while they tend to just blur in to each other. Not sure it is essential listening.
D'Angelo · 5 likes
1/5
p769. 1995. 1 star.
The background music they use in stores selling Gwyneth Paltrow's "This Smells Like My Vagina" candles.
Wannabe Marvin Gaye for the 90s, only without the talent or the voice. This was a key influence on Craig David - so! We finally have someone to blame! Can't be doing with high pitched male voices, especially when they are used on such bland material. This is soulless and instantly forgettable.
4-Star Albums (143)
1-Star Albums (168)
All Ratings
Muddy Waters
5/5
1977, p377, 2021-01-04: Spotify.
Excellent blues album, single LP
Deerhunter
4/5
2021-01-05, p933. Spotify
OK US indie guitar rock, vaguely 60s vibe
Wu-Tang Clan
1/5
p717, 1993.
Rap :( Well done of its type but not my thing at all
The Crusaders
3/5
p426, 1979. 3 stars.
1970s smooth pop-jazz, plus Randy Crawford. The background music for Studio 54, silky strings, horns and electric piano. Title track is a classic. Good stuff, well done, but not my thing.
Thundercat
2/5
p950. 2022-01-10. 2017.
Steely Dan-ish jazz/rock crossed with modern R&B+rap, but without any memorable tunes. Good production, technically good, pleasant enough but a bit soulless. Nothing that sticks in the mind. Not my thing.
The Hives
4/5
2022-01-11. Not in the book!
Indie guitar rock meets punk. Great riffs. I approve :)
Fugazi
2/5
2022-01-12 p628 1990
So-so garage/indie/heavy rock, nothing special
2 stars
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
5/5
p788, 1996, 5 stars
Nick Cave :) all the favourites:
Stagger Lee, Henry Lee, Curse of Milhaven, O'Malley's Bar
Santana
3/5
p218. 1970. 2022-01-14. 3 stars
Early 70s samba jazz rock and ace guitar, vague Doors-ish echoes. Slightly bland. Cool background summer music :)
Spiritualized
5/5
p820. 1997. 5 stars.
Terrific mix of 60s psychedelia, Pink Floyd, Stones, Beatles, Julian Cope, 90s Brit Pop. This is GOOD.
The Fall
4/5
p717, 1993. 4 stars.
Bass driven indie rock with great riffs and sardonic delivery. Excellent :)
Louis Prima
3/5
p27, 1956. 3 stars
Light listening, "jumping jive", good fun. Have to be in the right mood for it though. You can see where Paolo Nutini stole from.
CHIC
3/5
p434, 1979, 3 stars
Classic dance album, fabulous production. Play and recreate nightclubs in 1978-79. Suffers from the "extended dance version" syndrome. Still sounds good, have to be in the right mood it though :)
Yes
2/5
p226, 1971. 2 star
Prog rock hence excessive musical wankage :( Jon Anderson, can't stand his voice :(( Dodgy lyrics.
Shame as the rest of it is good, especially Steve Howe's guitar work.
2 stars for production, and guitar work in general, especially on Clap.
David Bowie
5/5
p385, 1977. 5 stars.
Prime Bowie, Brian Eno production. Not a weak track on it. Excellent.
Terence Trent D'Arby
5/5
p584, 1987. 5 stars. 2022-01-25
1980s electro soul. Great voice, catchy hooks, great songs. Production a bit dated - cheesy synths - but still excellent and still sounds great today. I'd forgotten what a great album this is.
Genesis
2/5
p294, 1973. 2 stars
Was prepared to dislike this as I tended to lump Genesis in with the entire prog rock-wank era but... parts of this are OK. Always liked Peter Gabriel's solo stuff, and his voice is spot on. Steve Hackett and Phil Collins also on form. Set against this, all the usual early 1970s complaints... dodgy lyrics, overly long instrumental "fiddly" bits - look how fast I can play! Listen to my fabulous, sterile instrumental "improvisation"! See how long I can go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and ON - and dig my groovy 70's synths maaaaaan. But it's got something, despite all that. I wouldn't go out of my way to listen to it, but I don't hate it either.
Wire
3/5
p381, 1977. 3 stars
Proto punk, surprisingly OK, not as raw as The Clash or Sex Pistols but suitably angry. Decent songs and playing. As with a lot of punk, you have to be in the right mood for it, and if you are then this is above average.
Fleetwood Mac
3/5
p441. 1979. 3 stars.
The Fleetwood Mac equivalent of the Beatles White album - a weird mix of well crafted pop songs, half thought out ideas that don't really cut it, fabulous harmonies and over-production. Someone needed to slap Lindsey Buckingham with a wet kipper and tell him, "this track ain't good enough." Would have been a great single album.
Beastie Boys
3/5
p546, 1986. 3.5 stars, not strong enough for 4.
Wasn't expecting to like this as much as I did. Rap meets heavy rock riffs, bass and guitar. THE sound of twenty year old American white boys in the mid 80s, taking the piss of out everyone and themselves. Having said that... points deducted for Girls, which is just cheese - compare that with the next track, which is Fight For Your Right - and it is all a bit shouty and "samey".
The Clash
3/5
p436. 1979. 3 stars.
Strange mix of punk and garage rock and reggae and ska. Vague Springsteen undertones, which isn't a bad thing. Excellent production values. However... don't like Joe Strummer's voice, and other than title track, nothing stands out. Goes for on far too long - it's rare for a double album to actually hold up without spotting the filler, and this fails the test. Saggy in the middle. Can see why this was influential in the punk era - far more sophisticated that most of the offerings of the time - but it hasn't aged well. Would have made an excellent single album. Glad I've listened to it but just doesn't do it for me.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
3/5
p894. 2003. 3 stars.
Came cold to this one, didn't know anything about the band or the album. Well done garage rock, great voice, but nothing here that hasn't been been done before (and better) by Siouxsie, PJ Harvey, Garbage or Elastica. It's good, and I'd listen to it again, but not sure why it's on the list as it's neither innovative or anything special.
Tears For Fears
3/5
p531. 1985. 3 stars
Prime example of 80s stadium synth pop, even down to the audience whooping it up on the end of Broken. No doubt that they could knock out a good tune - some of these tracks are instantly recognisable - and the album has excellent production and musicianship. Lots of synths, sax and big guitars, and as a consequence it does sound a bit dated. Most of the tracks meander and outstay their welcome. Whilst it's well done, I always found them a bit soulless. 3 stars just because of personal preference.
Supertramp
2/5
p325. 1974. 2 stars
Straight up I have to say I have always hated Roger Hodgson's voice. Every time he opens his mouth I just want to punch him to make him shut it. It's like chalk being drawn down a board. I also don't like electric piano, which is a major part of the band sound. And somehow the cheesy sax makes things 10 times worse. So, this album starts at a major disadvantage. Shame really as musically its OK, tight clean production, but suffers badly from prog-rock wank solo pretentions. And as usual with mid 70s albums, a lot of the songs outstay their welcome. Well done of its kind, and some good tunes, but that voice and tinkly piano... ffs. 2 stars.
Crosby, Stills & Nash
4/5
p159, 1969. 4.5 stars.
All the best bits of Buffalo Springfield, The Byrds and The Hollies in a strange mix of folk, country, rock and jazz. Gorgeous harmonies and songs. Excellent and understated guitar work from Stills. Unfairly dismissed in recent years because of the retrospective view of late 60's/early 70s long hair rock and by the punk ethos, "never trust a hippy". This is the direct ancestor of all of the West Coast soft rock albums of the 1970s. Half a star deducted for those songs that haven't dated well, Marrakesh Express being the prime suspect.
The Jesus And Mary Chain
1/5
p540. 1985. 1 star
Dull indy rock that thinks noise+feedback = edgy+important. Would have helped if the singer didn't sound doped. Nearly every track sounds the same. Listened to the entire album and nothing stuck or left an impression. This is just noise. Move on, nothing to see (or hear) here.
Not sure why this is on the "must hear" list, as there is nothing new or innovative here - the Velvet Underground did this kind of thing better 20 years earlier.
Jimmy Smith
3/5
p52. 1960. 3 stars.
Nice ;)
Wasn't expecting to like this as much as I did. Smooth as Jim Beam bourbon. Direct connection to Booker T and Georgie Fame. Tight guitar work and smooth sax. Tends to stray into background music though. Not a jazz fan, so not sure I'd play it often.
Incidentally, I once owned an album called "The Swinging Organ of Jimmy Smith". Sadly missed opportunity for the album cover.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
2/5
p487, 1982. 2 stars
I know he's a great wordsmith, but lyrically this is just depressing and bloody miserable to listen to. Very few standout tunes either. And something about Elvis Costello's voice leaves me cold, its either a whine or a sneer or a whiney sneer. Well done but definitely not my thing. Not likely to listen to this again. And will avoid sharp objects, pills and alcohol if I do.
Sigur Rós
1/5
p853, 1999. 1 star
I like Sigur Rós , but this one... meh. Left me cold. Strays dangerously close into pretentious, over-long prog-rock wankage. Not sure why this one is on the list, as Valtari is a far better album.
Steely Dan
2/5
p301, 1973. 2 stars.
Early hipster jazz-rock. Look how well we can play our instruments! Look how fast we can go! Look how precise we are! Look at the polish and sheen and shiny chrome! All at the expense of any emotion or feeling. It doesn't help that Donald Fagin sounds stoned on every track. And it has an electric piano ffs. The entire album sounds like something you'd hear in the lift or restaurant in an expensive hotel.
Technically excellent, but zero heart or soul. 2 stars for some sharp lyrics and for the guitar work, even if that does stray into 70's "look how fast I can play" wankage a lot of the time. Thank god for punk.
Elis Regina
2/5
p400, 1978. 2 stars.
Not my thing, but pleasant enough of its type. Nice voice, nothing exceptional though, and a lot of the arrangements are very 70s and haven't aged well. This album needs a warm sunny day to bring the best out of it, and we tend not to get them in Stoke. Not sure why this is on the list, definitely not essential.
The Stranglers
3/5
p377, 1977. 3.5 stars
New wave/pub rock classic. A little bit dated, but still holds up well, with some absolute bangers - Hanging Around, Peaches, Get A Grip, Go Buddy Go, Peaches - with the last two making up possibly the greatest double A side ever. On the downside, some surprisingly out of place guitar wankage (Princess of the Streets, Down In The Sewer), Not strong enough for a 4, hence 3 stars.
Happy Mondays
2/5
p592, 1988. 2.5 stars, not a 2 but definitely not strong enough for a 3.
Suspect this is highly rated by people who were there at the time and are re-listening with psychedelic tinted headphones. For the rest of us... nothing to like or dislike. There are better Happy Mondays albums.
The Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy
4/5
p686, 1992. 3.5 stars, leaning towards 4.
Came to this absolutely cold. Don't usually like rap or hiphop but this was surprisingly good. Excellent production and accessible. Would happily listen to this again.
The Who
3/5
p83, 1965. 3.5 stars.
The sound of an above average 60s beat combo :) It's a 50/50 split of filler and genuine classics. Interesting to listen to from a historical perspective - you can hear the genesis of The Who's later sound, and Pete Townshend's song writing is at least on par with anything Lennon/McCartney, Jagger/Richards or Ray Davies did at the same time, but not sure it needs repeated listens.
Jeff Beck
5/5
p152, 1968. 5 stars
Classic Brit blues rock. Beck and Stewart on absolutely top form - the interplay between guitar and vocals is fantastic. Most of the tracks are stone cold classics - they even manage to cover Ol' Man River and get away with it. A couple of weak tracks - Shape of Things doesn't add anything to the original other than Beck's guitar work, and Blues Deluxe outstays its welcome, complete with the overdubbed "live" audience applause - but they are still worth listening to just for Jeff Beck. This still sounds great nearly 50 years on.
The Prodigy
1/5
p750. 1994. 1 star
So-so drum and bass with synths and samples. Probably brilliant for clubs at the time but not my thing at all. Just goes on and on and on...
Creedence Clearwater Revival
4/5
p163. 1969. 4 stars
Classic late 60s 'merican blues-tinged rock. The sound is dated, but you can't argue with the song writing, one of THE great rock voices, the energy, or the simplicity of great music stripped down to bare metal. 4 bangers on the album: Green River, Bad Moon Rising, Lodi, Commotion. 1 star deducted for dated production and filler (Broken Spoke Shuffle, Glory Be). This album is a lesson for all the prog rockers: if you can't say it in a 4 minute song, don't bother saying anything.
Turbonegro
4/5
p823. 1998. 4 stars
Came cold to this, knew nothing about the band or their music. Pleasantly surprised. Vaguely pretentious hybrid of punk and glam rock with ridiculous song titles, but doesn't take itself too seriously. All sorts of echoes in here - Ramones, The Who, Queen, Oasis. I liked this more than I was expecting to :)
Stevie Wonder
3/5
p268. 1972. 3.5 stars
He knows how to write a tune for sure - there are absolute classics here (You Are the Sunshine of My Life, Superstition, I Believe). Having said that, points deducted for some songs outstaying their welcome (Maybe Your Baby) and it does drift to "easy listening" mode far too easily. Probably on the list for historical reasons as it's generally recognised as the first of his "classic" albums. It's OK, with some real highlights, but there are better Stevie Wonder albums.
Koffi Olomide
1/5
p681. 1992. 1 star
Well, the cheesy synths and arrangements haven't aged well on a lot of the tracks. Nothing much to like here. This was the first album on the list that I struggled to listen to all the way through. Not my thing at all.
Leonard Cohen
3/5
p136. 1968. 3.5 stars
Lyrically light years ahead of the competition. Stripped down, sparse sound that still sounds fresh. Overwhelming sense of melancholy though, and if you're not prepared to listen to the lyrics a lot of the tracks can sound the same. You have to be in the right mood to fully appreciate this, and if you're not it can sound like self pitying meandering.
ABBA
2/5
p483. 1981. 2 stars
We all know their great run of singles in the 70s, but I'd never actually listened to an ABBA album all the way through. First time for everything.
Pros: They know how to write a hook. Fabulous voices and arrangements. Excellent production.
Cons: schizophrenic style - can't make its mind up whether it wants to be 80s electro pop (The Visitors, One of Us, Slipping Through My Fingers) or show tunes (Head Over Heels, I Let The Music Speak), which is where Benny and Bjorn eventually ended up. All the usual issues with suspect lyrics, and one song - Two For The Price of One - is possibly the worst thing they've ever done. It is all a bit bland and soulless. When they're good, they're brilliant, but there is too much filler here for repeated listens. This album is not essential listening. ABBA Gold is.
Talk Talk
1/5
p551, 1986. 1 star.
Poor man's Tears For Fears. Mark Hollis always sounds like he is straining, and not in a good way. It's all 80s synth and sax, long meandering tracks, and that ain't aged well. Soulless and dull. Not essential listening.
The Mothers Of Invention
4/5
p92. 1966. 4 stars, 1 point deducted for being too clever by half.
Bunch of smart arses taking the piss out of 60s American society and the music of the time and doing it really well. Still holds up today, and it's got some great tunes and production. There is a direct line from this to everything early 10cc did. I loved it, but satire and humour are subjective so some people might miss the point. I'm in love with Suzy Creamcheese :)
Grizzly Bear
5/5
Not in my edition of the book! 5 stars
Came cold to this, hadn't heard of the band or the album. Surprisingly good indie-pop. All sorts of good echoes/influences in here - late 60s Beach Boys, Radiohead. On the replay list.
4/5
p484. 1982. 4 stars
The sound of a thousand UK early 80's nightclubs. This isn't about ABC, its all about Trevor Horn and his production. Quality work, fabulous orchestration, instantly recognisable and still fresh despite the 80's synths and sax. Some great tunes here, let down by dodgy lyrics. And it's all slightly pretentious... but fun. It's a bit like eating candyfloss, you know it's not good for you but you still enjoy it at the time.
"Like a phoenix coming back/From the ashes/I know what's good/But I know what trash is"
The Rolling Stones
2/5
p167. 1969. 2 stars
Got to be honest, I've never been a fan of the Stones - booze soaked, drug raddled white boy blues rip-offs with a fucking annoying fat lipped gobshite who thinks he is God's gift to women for a front man. The faux blues-country whine he uses on most of this album is really annoying, especially when everyone knows he comes from Dartford. On the plus side they know how to knock out a good tune (Gimme Shelter, Midnight Rambler, though You Can't Always Get What You Want outstays its welcome), and the band is tight - Keith Richards is on form, and Nicky Hopkins and Ian Stewart stand out on every track they are on. At the end of the day it comes over as the so-so efforts of an average white band in it for the chicks.
Echo And The Bunnymen
2/5
p526. 1984. 2 stars
Sounds like the bastard love child of Nick Cave and The Cure's Robert Smith, but without the talent. Perfectly acceptable without being exceptional in any way. A couple of OK singles, but that's it. On the plus side, it's short, so it doesn't outstay its welcome.
Iggy Pop
4/5
p392. 1977. 4 stars
Stripped back rock and roll at its finest from one of the great voices. Two absolute bangers in the title track and The Passenger. Bowie production and vocals are a bonus. 1 point deducted for the filler (Neighbourhood Threat) and some tracks (Turn Blue, Fall In Love With Me) outstaying their welcome. Still essential listening.
Van Halen
1/5
p412. 1978. 1 star.
Soulless, spandex-clad, big haired cock rock. Lots of sheen and not a shred of emotion. Yes, you can play the guitar fast, but if you don't put any passion into it then it turns into pomp rock wankage realllll fast. Jeff Beck gets more feeling in 3 minutes than this lot have managed in a career.
The Cars
3/5
p415. 1978. 3 stars
I knew the singles, but never listened to the album. This is good stuff - quality power pop, echoes of Blondie. The singles are the standout tracks, the rest is well done but not memorable. Short and sweet, still holds up today.
Burning Spear
2/5
p342. 1975. 2 stars
It's well done, but nothing outstanding - it just washed over me and left no residual trace. No standout tracks. Not a fan of reggae, so won't be revisiting.
Japan
3/5
p436. 1979. 3 stars
Thin White Duke impersonator and Brian Ferry sound-alike steals the best bits from Roxy Music's "Stranded" and "Manifesto" and creates the template for Duran Duran, Midge Ure-led Ultravox and the entire New Romantic movement. If you like synths and moodiness then you can appreciate how influential this was. If not, then you'll get bored with this VERY quickly.
Paul Weller
4/5
p705. 1993. 4 stars
Elder statesman of Brit rock on top form. There is valid school of thought that says Paul Weller is a better songwriter than Elvis Costello, and they are right - there are more good tunes here than in the last 10 Costello albums. One star docked for the faux jazz wankage of the instrumentals - it didn't work with the Style Council, and it doesn't work here - and the vague worry that he is slowly turning into Eric Clapton.
Bob Dylan
4/5
p347, 1975. 4.5 stars
He's always had a bloody awful voice, sounds like he's straining with bad haemorrhoids when he tries for any long notes. Set against that, he writes some cracking tunes and is a fabulous wordsmith. This sounds like something that Mark Knopfler should have written, and sung better. Half a star deducted for the voice.
Beatles
4/5
p79. 1965. 4 stars
Loveable 60s mop tops discover illicit substances, and expand minds and song writing potential. This is the departure point from covers and 3 minute pop gems - you can hear the cross-pollination between Dylan and The Byrds. It's Lennon-McCartney-Harrison, so there are more stone cold classics on this one album than most bands manage in a career. Docked a point for What Goes On, and the production which haven't aged well. This album is a bit like sex - when it's good, it's terrific, and when it's bad, well, it's still good.
Talking Heads
2/5
p461, 1980. 2 stars
It's not bad, its just not great either. Too many tracks just meander. Brian Eno on form though. Great guitar work on The Great Curve. Other than Once In A Lifetime, nothing left a lasting impression. Not on the replay list.
Cocteau Twins
2/5
p634. 1990. 2 stars
Instantly recognisable, lovely sound and production but... it's all a bit samey. Becomes background noise very quickly and there are no real standout tunes. Perfectly unremarkable 90's cocktail bar music. Not on the replay list.
Hanoi Rocks
3/5
p508. 1983. 3 stars.
Above average rock band with glitter and a sly sense of humour. A refreshing change from the 80's synths at the time. You can see where The Killers got their inspiration from. Well done of its kind, but it's hardly essential listening.
Dinosaur Jr.
2/5
p564. 1987. 2 stars.
Prototype grunge. Nirvana meets Black Sabbath but without the songs or talent. The vocalist can't sing, and they do enjoy their feedback and squealing guitars, so its a bit harsh on the ears. There is also an unhealthy degree of weirdness (Poledo) and hard rock wankage. On the plus side, they do keep it short. Perfectly acceptable of its type, and probably on the list because of its influence rather than its quality, but points deducted for wankage and the vocals. Wouldn't listen to it again.
Belle & Sebastian
4/5
p778. 1996. 4 stars.
So this is what the bastard love children of Donovan and Albert Lee sound like. Bittersweet songs, sharp lyrics and a sense of melancholy. All that is missing are some standout tunes. On the replay list.
George Michael
4/5
p570. 1987. 4 stars
One of the great voices evolves from pop pretty boy into accomplished blue-eyed soul boy/singer/songwriter. Who would have thought the man who wrote Club Tropicana could move on to Father Figure? Not a weak track on this, although you can make a case that I Want Your Sex outstays its welcome and that Look At Your Hands is filler. This still sounds great today. Essential listening.
My Bloody Valentine
1/5
p594. 1988. 1 star.
A bloody mess more like. Badly mixed, tuneless noise, with no redeeming features. Lead vocalist can't sing. 38mins and 2 seconds of my life I'll never get back.
Led Zeppelin
3/5
p241. 1971. 3 stars.
Got to be honest, I have never cared for Robert Plant's voice, it strays too close to a hysteric shriek. He sounds like Roger Daltrey with added oestrogen. This is a schizophrenic album - a competent rock band with some good tunes that can't decide whether to play blues, be rock'n'rollers or folkies. And it suffers from the usual early 70's wankage which means a lot of the songs outstay their welcome. Didn't do it for me. Jimmy Page seems like a quite good guitarist though.
Kraftwerk
4/5
p318. 1974. 4 stars.
In terms of influence, this is absolutely massive. Giorgio Moroder, Vangelis, Gary Newman and all of the 80's electro/synth bands owe this a huge debt, as well as John Carpenter and anyone working on sci-fi soundtracks in the 1980s. Aural cinema :) If you don't like atmospheric synths then you're going to hate this - but everyone should listen to this once in their lives.
B.B. King
4/5
p78. 1965. 4 stars
Damn I love me some blues :) It doesn't get much better than this. The blueprint for everything Eric Clapton and Peter Green became famous for, only done better. One of the great guitarists on top form. 1 star deducted for it being a live album.
Leonard Cohen
2/5
p586. 1988. 2 stars.
This has not aged well - it sounds like every bad drum machine, synth and mid-80s cocktail bar musical cringeworthy cliche you can imagine. In particular the female backing vocalists and whoever did their arrangements need to be taken outside and shot. Twice. Shame, as there are some cracking tunes here, and lyrically he is still light years of the game.
Joy Division
2/5
p462. 1980. 2 stars
All sorts of echoes here - Kraftwerk, Moroder, Bowie from his Low period. Depressing lyrics, harsh on the ears, repetitive songs. Vocals sounds like Jim Morrison after a bottle of bourbon and downers. Bleak machine music for a country under the early days of Thatcherism. No wonder Ian Curtis topped himself.
The Band
3/5
p176. 1969. 3 stars
Yeehaw. Average band play average country rock songs. Well done of its kind I suppose but... just washed over me and left no residual trace. Only a couple of standout tunes, and a lot of the vocals veer into a thin whine far too often. I might be missing something, but on the other hand this album could just be really average.
Queen
5/5
p351. 1975. 5 stars
Yes, it's overblown and over produced camp rock - but it's also an A grade rock band on top form with some cracking tunes and a sense of humour, and that covers a multitude of sins. There is a reason why Queen were so popular and why their songs are still played today, and this is the perfect illustration why. There isn't a weak track on it, although you can argue that The Prophet's Song outstays its welcome. And Brian May seems quite a good guitarist.
The The
2/5
p505, 1983. 2 stars.
So-so 80's Brit synth band with no tunes and desolate lyrics. A lot of the tracks meander and outstay their welcome. Bonus star for Jools Holland on Uncertain Smile, otherwise there is not too much to like here. Not on the replay list.
4/5
p582. 1987. 4 stars.
The sound of late 80s stadium rock. Oddly enough, it's the most well known tracks - Where The Streets Have No Name, I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, With Or Without You - that haven't aged well, it's like repeated plays have worn off any real impact they once had. The album really kicks in from Bullet The Blue Sky onwards. It's good stuff, not a weak track on it BUT then we come to Bono. You can only take so much Irish bombastic earnestness before thinking, "just shut the fuck up", so a point deducted for that. On the plus side, The Edge seems quite a good guitarist.
The Byrds
2/5
p155, 1968. 2 stars.
Yeehaw. Former folk/psychedelic/pop idols go country in desperate attempt to reinvent themselves. Well done of its kind and in hindsight one of the key bridges between pop and country - you can see a direct line from this to The Eagles and The Dixie Chicks - but not my thing at all. Unlikely to play this again.
Run-D.M.C.
2/5
p556, 1986. 2 stars.
I can see why it's influential - rap meets rock - but not my thing. The impression I get is other than the singles, a lot of the tracks sound the same and seem like filler. Unlikely to listen to this again. Well done of its kind though.
Air
4/5
p836. 1998. 4 stars
The bastard love children of Jean-Michel Jarre and Vangelis. Accessible electronic mood music for the masses. It's good, but does outstay its welcome on the longer tracks.
The Specials
4/5
p446, 1979. 4 stars
Ska meets disillusioned angry young men at the start of Thatcher's Britain. I don't usually like ska or reggae, but this is good - a rare example of the soundtrack to a moment in time that still sounds fresh today. Having said that... I like it, but don't love it. Just my taste in music.
The Lemonheads
2/5
p684. 1992. 2 stars.
Average white boy garage band plays average white boy garage songs. Nothing memorable here. Why is this on the list?
Primal Scream
3/5
p802. 1997. 3 stars.
Weird, but it's got something. It's like the soundtrack to a B movie., along with the associated risk of it becoming background music You have to be in the right mood for this otherwise I should imagine it gets tired very quickly. Worth listening to though.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
p174, 1969. 5 stars.
60's tail end classic. White man blues meets heavy rock with a garnish of folk, and world domination ensues. I'm still not a fan of Robert Plant's voice, but here it hasn't evolved into the hysterical shriek of later years. Bonham and Jones are on top form, and Jimmy Page seems quite a good guitarist.
Fats Domino
4/5
p28. 1956. 4 stars.
Feel-good primitive rock'n'roll that still sounds fresh today. Great sound, great production, great voice. The only thing missing is the same sense of excitement you get from a Little Richard or Jerry Lee Lewis track.
The Afghan Whigs
4/5
p709. 1993. 4 stars
Accessible indy rock with distinct hints of Nirvana. Came cold to this and was pleasantly surprised. On the replay list.
PJ Harvey
3/5
p702. 1992. 3 stars
The source of skinny white chick rock. Well done of its kind, but a lot of the songs tend to blur into one another after a while.
Leonard Cohen
5/5
p943. 2016. 5 stars
Gravel voiced old man ruminates on death and produces final work of power and beauty. Lyrically, still light years ahead of the competition, and this time we've got decent tunes and quality production to match the words. Not a weak track on it. I am guessing this will resonate more with an older audience.
Michael Jackson
3/5
p496. 1982. 3 stars
THE soundtrack of a million 80s nightclubs worldwide. It's packed with hits, and Quincey Jones is on top form. Having said that, there is filler - Baby Be Mine, The Girl Is Mine (hang your head in shame Macca) - and the 80's synths haven't dated well (PYT). Jackson sounds like he never really cracked puberty, and those shrill whoops get annoying real soon. It's not as good as Off The Wall.
"You're a vegetable (you're a vegetable)/Still they hate you (still they hate you)"
Harry Nilsson
3/5
p251. 1971. 3 stars
I feel like I should like this more than I do but... meh. Don't get me wrong, lyrically it's sharp, he had a cracking voice and it has its tunes, but I think it says a lot when the biggest track on it was written by someone else. And it has an utterly redundant cover of Let The Good Times Roll. When it's good, its very good, but there is a lot of filler that hasn't aged well. It feels and sounds like a hipster Billy Joel.
Soft Cell
4/5
p475. 1981. 4.5 stars
The sordid pale white underbelly of early 80s Britain disguised beneath brilliant electropop. Like or loathe him, Marc Almond has a terrific voice and sharp lyrics, whilst Dave Ball is simply a musical genius. At it's best this is brilliant - Youth and Say Hello Wave Goodbye are highlights, and it was a stroke of brilliance to tempt in the casual listener with Tainted Love, which proves that you can cover a song and make it your own. Set against that, some of the tracks outstay their welcome, and Entertain Me is filler. Apart from that, you get sex, kinks, self loathing, emptiness, isolation, all within the hits. I feel like I need a shower after listening to this.
Mike Ladd
2/5
p867. 2000. 2 stars
Rap. Well done of its type - I like the Indian samples and jazz influences - but otherwise, not my thing at all. Would not listen to it again.
Sleater-Kinney
2/5
p805. 1997. 2 stars.
Average white girl punk band with nothing to add to what The Runaways and The Go-Gos have done before. In fact it sounds like the Go-Gos. Well done of its kind but not essential listening. Why is this on the list?
Deep Purple
2/5
p256. 1972. 2 stars.
Primeval 70s hard rock. So this is where we put the blame for a thousand hysterical shrieking vocalists and an eternity of guitar wankage. I found this tedious beyond belief, really struggled to listen all the way through. Well produced though. Thank god for punk.
David Gray
2/5
p825. 1998.
A perfect example of the artist's surname reflecting the content. It's a bit like porridge, you consume it to fill a need but it leaves you feeling vaguely unsatisfied. Every track sounds the same, and the cover of Say Hello Wave Goodbye is appalling, it sounds like a dirge. The entire album is background noise for a 90s dinner party. Definitely not essential listening.
Sisters Of Mercy
3/5
p569. 1987. 3 stars.
Broody Goth rock meets Jim Steinman and ends up sounding like late 70's Bowie/Iggy. It's OK, but nothing special.
Joni Mitchell
3/5
p344. 1975. 3 stars
The epitome of 70's singer-songwriter albums. Great voice, sharp lyrics, all sorts of things going on here - burundi beat, jazz, West Coast AOR. Not to everyone's taste, and probably not as good as Blue. 1 star deducted for dated production - dig that electric piano baby! - and some tracks outstay their welcome.
Madonna
5/5
p829. 1998. 5 stars.
Madge on top form. Not a weak track on this. Excellent production. Still sounds great 20 years on.
Otis Redding
5/5
p75, 1965. 5 stars.
One of the all time great vocalists shows how it should be done. Yes, most of these are covers, but they are mostly definitive versions that you'll have heard a thousand times before, and they still sound great. Production is excellent and the MG's are on absolutely top form. There is something on this album for everyone every time you listen to it.
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
4/5
p201. 1970. 4 stars
Late 60s hippies wake up in a new decade and discover country. Fantastic harmonies, fine musicianship, great tunes - what's not to like? Still holds up after 50+ years, although you can argue that Country Girl is filler and that Our House is as weak as a kitten. Imagine what they could have done if they hadn't been perpetually wasted and/or soaked in booze.
Muddy Waters
4/5
p53. 1960. 4.5 stars.
Damn I love blues, and this is as pure as it gets. Half a point deducted for being a live album, but other than that it's perfect.
Jean-Michel Jarre
3/5
p367. 1976. 3 stars
Primeval trippy electro music from the 70s, and hence a high degree of musical wankage. Outstays its welcome on most of the tracks, and oh my, didn't someone have fun passing those synth sounds from speaker to speaker? Vangelis did this kind of thing much better IMHO. Perfectly acceptable of its kind, but it's all a bit pompous and sterile.
Parliament
3/5
p364. 1975. 3 stars
Perfectly acceptable fodder, well produced with a sense of humour but... not my thing. It's missing standout tracks. Listened to it, thought it was OK, then forgot about it.
Nas
2/5
p729. 1994. 2 stars.
Hip-hop/rap. Not my thing at all, so 2 stars. Like the bass and production though, and there are a couple of OK tracks like Life's A Bitch. On the whole, 40 mins of my life I won't get back.
k.d. lang
3/5
p688. 1992. 3 stars
Middle of the road songs offset by terrific voice and production. There simply aren't enough standout songs - after a while they tend to just blur in to each other. Not sure it is essential listening.
Björk
3/5
p872. 2001. 3 stars.
The Icelandic love child of Sinead O'Connor and David Lynch. This sounds like the lost soundtrack to Twin Peaks. Having said that, their is only so much weirdness you can listen to before it gets boring. Well done of its kind, but becomes background music real soon.
Shuggie Otis
2/5
p316. 1974. 2 stars.
This ain't aged well. Vague echoes of early Hall and Oates but without the melodies. The boy's got talent - he plays nearly everything on the album, and some tracks like Rainy Day, Sweet Thang and Freedom Flight show promise - but there's a reason why this didn't sell in the first place, and its because its utterly forgettable. Why is this even on the list?
John Mayall & The Bluesbreakers
4/5
p97. 1966. 4.5 stars.
Classic 60s Brit blues. This is where Clapton made his reputation, and he still sounds light years of most of the competition. There a couple of filler tracks - the cover of What I Say outstays its welcome - but other than that it doesn't get much better than this.
T. Rex
4/5
p252. 1971. 4 stars
Fey, but muscular. Absolutely fabulous early 70s glam rock. As with all things Bolan, lyrically suspect, but the riffs and band and production are still fantastic. Some filler, especially on the 2nd side, but if you can't dance to at least one track on this you are officially dead.
"Just like a car/You're pleasing to behold/I'll call you Jaguar/If I may be so bold"
"Girl I'm just a vampire for your love/And I'm gonna SUCK ya"
Merle Haggard
1/5
p121. 1967. 1 star
Poor man's Johnny Cash. All the worst excesses of country music are here. I really struggled to listen to the entire album. On the plus side the songs are short. Definitely not my thing.
"If I could die/My pain might go away". I wish he would.
Jimi Hendrix
5/5
p122. 1967. 5 stars
Sounds as fresh today as when it was first issued. Not a weak track on this. Hugely influential. Raised the bar for every other guitarist without ever straying in wankage, although you can argue that Third Stone From The Sun outstays its welcome. Noel Redding and Mitch Mitchell on top form. Packed with genuine rock classics. This one is essential listening.
John Coltrane
1/5
p78, 1965. 1 star
There is a reason that jazz fell out of favour, and this is a prime example of why. It might be technically excellent, but for the casual listener it simply isn't accessible - it comes across as formless, self indulgent, meandering musical wankage. This is 32 minutes of my life I will never get back.
MGMT
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2007. 3.5 stars.
Fabulous synthesis of indie pop and 60's psychedelia, irritating catchy riffs and vague Beatle-ish overtones. Time To Pretend and Kids are standouts, but a lot of the album is filler. This would get a 4 on a good day.
Elvis Presley
3/5
p24. 1956. 3 stars.
Primeval white rock'n'roll. Even after this time, the voice is terrific. Fabulous guitar solos from Scotty Moore, and Bill Black and DJ Fontana are rock solid on bass and drums. Set against that, there is an awful lot of filler, especially on the maudlin ballads, and some of the covers don't add anything to the originals. When this is good it's excellent - it's there are just too many average songs to give this anything other than a 3. But that voice...
Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
1/5
p476. 1981. 1 star.
Dreary and soulless synth pop. This is the soundtrack to every dull grey wet Tuesday in Liverpool in Thatcher's Britain. Most the album is the band farting about with synths on songs that outstay their welcome - who the fuck needs a 7 minute "moody" instrumental, it's like punk never happened, eh lads? And what the fuck is the album title about? Pretentious wankers.
Grateful Dead
2/5
p206. 1970. 2 stars.
Bland late 60's/70's CSN&Y wannabees with no redeeming features. Sounds like the less talented younger brothers of the Band. Well done of its kind, but utterly forgettable. Not essential listening.
Pretenders
4/5
p470. 1980. 4 stars.
Fabulous rock-pop-punk hybrid. Outstanding songs and vocals about sex, desire and loathing. Needs to be played loud for maximum impact. 1 star deducted for occasionally straying into guitar wankage. Still sounds fresh 40 years on. PJ Harvey has based her entire career on trying to write something as good as this.
John Prine
4/5
p251. 1971. 4 stars
Came cold to this and was pleasantly surprised. Lyrically sharp as a razor and some good tunes. Sounds like country-era Dylan, which isn't for everyone, but once you get past the strings and slide guitar it's terrific - there is a direct line from this to Springsteen's Nebraska. It's everything The Band aspired to and failed to deliver. Probably too country for most, but it's definitely worth a second listen.
Missy Elliott
2/5
p890. 2002. 2 stars
Hip-hop, so not my thing at all. Well done of its kind, and had me tapping my foot, but a lot of the tracks just blurred into each other.
The Black Crowes
2/5
p639. 1990. 2 stars
Adequate pub-rock band tries to be Rod Stewart and the Faces, only without the talent or songs. It says a lot when the most successful song is a cover. This is just average - why is this album on the list?
Elvis Presley
2/5
p50. 1960. 2 stars
Well, this ain't aged well. It's mostly a collection of mediocre pop songs, saved only the Voice. There are maybe 2 songs that stand up to comparison with his pre-Army songbook, and on the couple of occasions that the songs are decent, we have the Jordanaires droning on it. And who let that sax player in?? Seriously, this album sounds like something meant for Bobby Vinton or Pat Boone.
The boy had the looks, the moves, and the Voice. Just a shame that he rarely got the songs to match.
The Allman Brothers Band
2/5
p230. 1971. 2 stars
On the plus side: if you want an example of why Duane Allman rates alongside Clapton and Hendrix as the greatest guitarist of all time, look no further. This is it.
On the negative side: if you want an example of excessive, overly long, wankage filled early '70s southern blues/rock, look no further. This is it.
Don't get me wrong, the musicianship is great and Duane Allman is fantastic but... it's too much, and too long. Seriously, did anyone actually enjoy 15-20 minute "jams" on a live album unless they were stoned? Maybe you had to be there.
Nirvana
4/5
p656. 1991. 4 stars.
Point deducted for suspect lyrics, filler tracks on the 2nd half of the album, and for ripping off "More Than A Feeling" by Boston. Apart from that, this is pretty good.
"Here we are now/Entertain us/A mulatto/An albino/A mosquito/My libido/Yeah"
The Soft Boys
2/5
p455. 1980. 2 stars.
The sound of musicians that were born 10 years too late and wish the 60s had never ended. This sounds like an album of 13th Floor Elevators, Byrds and Ziggy Stardust outtakes, only without the talent. Listening to it you'd have thought that punk never happened. Quite good guitar playing, though it frequently strays in 70s wankage. It's OK, but nothing special - no idea why this is on the list.
Elton John
3/5
p300. 1973. 3 stars
All the evidence you need to prove that Elton John is best as a singles artist. When it's good, it's very good but... most of it is filler, and do we really need a 5 minute instrument as the opener? The production hasn't aged well - one listen and you know it was recorded in the early 70s. This could have been a stunning single album - just needs the fat trimming off.
Elvis Costello
5/5
p390. 1977. 5 stars
Costello when he could still knock out a decent tune. Listening to this, you can see what the fuss was about - razor sharp lyrics, minimal production, and short snappy songs that actually stick in the ear. This is the standard he set himself, and it's just sad to hear the thin meandering whining that he puts out these days compared to this.
Simon & Garfunkel
5/5
p94. 1966. 5 stars
A perfect time capsule of the mid 60s, capturing all the hope and fears of the era in 28 minutes. 50 years on this is still an example of why Paul Simon is one of the greatest songwriters ever, and why Art Garfunkel is one of the greatest vocalists ever. Classic.
The Kinks
3/5
p88. 1966. 3 stars.
The primeval ancestors of Blur. Pros: Ray Davies can knock out a tune, and lyrically he's as sharp as Costello or Weller. Cons: he can't sing, the Kinks weren't great musicians, and the production hasn't dated that well. Compare this with Revolver or Pet Sounds from the same year and all the flaws really show up. It's more of a historical significance piece - "look what Ray Davies was doing at the same time as Dylan and Lennon and Wilson".
The La's
3/5
p638. 1990. 3 stars
The bastard love children of The Byrds and Love. Lots of jangly guitars and OK tunes, but there's an overwhelming feeling that this was done by a late 60s B-list band, and the record company rejected the album. There She Goes is the only standout track. Well done of its kind but not outstanding.
The Strokes
2/5
p874. 2001. 2 stars
Velvet Underground wannabees without the style or the substance. Great album cover though.
Nitin Sawhney
3/5
p845. 1999. 3 stars.
Mood music/background listening, with samples and Asian influences to hook you in. Well done of its kind, but it does outstay its welcome.
Jane's Addiction
1/5
p648. 1990. 1 star.
Shouty power pop with no redeeming features. Green Day without the tunes. No thank you. Why is this on the list?
Erykah Badu
3/5
p864. 2000. 3 stars
Classy soul/jazz background music. Vaguely reminiscent of What's Going On, but without any standout tracks. It sounds like a Nora Jones outtakes album. Can imagine this being played whilst the black forest gateaux is being served.
Napalm Death
1/5
p578. 1987. 1 star.
This is noise, not music. It sounds like acne ridden teenage boys finding their older brothers guitar and drum kit and pretending to be Motorhead, and doing it badly. It is loud, badly played, pointless, pretentious, annoying random shite. Avoid.
Rush
2/5
p483. 1981.
1970s Canadian-American prog-rockers, and that in itself should be enough warning. I can't stand Geddy Lee's vocals, he sounds like his testicles have only just dropped. You could put him in a room with Jon Anderson and Roger Hodgson and have your own boys choir. And as with all things prog-rock, there is excessive musical wankage. Not my thing at all.
Frank Sinatra
2/5
p115. 1967. 2 stars
Well, the voice is fantastic, but this isn't his best work. Frank barely breaks a sweat, and sounds half asleep in a lot of the songs, and the arrangements pale in comparison to those of Nelson Riddle. Each track sounds the same as the one before, and the bossa nova vibe hasn't aged well. It's bland, and that ain't good.
Little Richard
5/5
p36. 1957. 5 stars
The raw DNA of rock'n'roll and that would follow. Little Richard crams in more excitement and energy in the opening track than some artists manage in an entire career. There isn't a weak track on this.
Kendrick Lamar
1/5
Not in my edition of the book so! Obviously not essential to listen to before you die! 2012. 1 star.
Purile, sexist, misogynistic, obnoxious shite that gets boring reallll fast.
Strange that it's OK for black rappers to use the N* word but if anyone else does you're racist. Or that it's OK for them to call women bitches and pussy and hoes (whores), but if anyone else does you're misogynistic. Or that it's OK from them to to boast about how high and doped they get, but if anyone else does then you're just a fucked up junkie. Just saying.
"I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower/So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". FFS, grow up.
Stephen Stills
3/5
p270. 1972. 3 stars
CSNY meet the Byrds and Merle Haggard. Well done of its kind, but not many standout songs. It frequently strays into musical wankage and outstays its welcome. Would have been a far better single album.
Lorde
3/5
p948. 2017. 3 stars
Kiwi Pink wannabee but without the songs. Sharp lyrics, which is a plus, but a long of the songs blur into one another. It's OK, but not great.
Faith No More
2/5
p606. 1989. 2 stars
Average Aerosmith/Kiss wannabees with average songs play loud to try and cover up deficiencies and fail. The best song on this is a cover. Nothing to keep your attention here, move along. WTF is this doing on the list?
Traffic
3/5
p213. 1970. 3 stars.
60's white soul boy gets jazzy and throws in some folk to spice it up. It's well done, but there are no standout tracks, and you get all the usual musical wankage you expect from early 70s albums. It says a lot that the best track on it is an old English folk song. On the plus side, it is is short.
Dusty Springfield
3/5
p169. 1969. 3 stars.
One of the great white female voices on top form, but let down by suspect material and production. When it works (Just a Little Lovin', Son Of A Preacher Man, I Don't Want To Hear It, Breakfast In Bed, Just One Smile, I Can't Make It Alone), it's fabulous. Unfortunately the rest of the songs are filler, some of the production hasn't aged well - the strings quickly veer into middle of the road syrup - and the cover of The Windmills Of Your Mind is pure cheese.
Björk
4/5
p718. 1993. 4 stars.
Good things: great production, some great songs.
Bad things: Bjork's voice. It's the aural equivalent of a cheese grater on the fingertips.
The Byrds
3/5
p141. 1968. 3.5 stars.
Schizophrenic mix of pop, country, folk and 60's psychedelia wrapped up in an aura of world weariness. It's odd, but it's got something, and it still sounds fresh nearly 50 years on.
Queen
2/5
p321. 1974. 3 stars.
Vaguely pretentious glam/pomp rock that outstays its welcome and frequently strays into early 70's rock wankage. Well done though, and Brian May seems quite a good guitarist. Other than Seven Seas of Rye, it's missing standout tunes. Not sure it's essential listening.
Jeff Buckley
5/5
p744. 1994. 5 stars
Great songs, great production, great guitar work and THAT voice. And it has the rarest of things, a cover that has become the definitive version. Faultless. To what heights could he have risen...
Led Zeppelin
3/5
p204. 1970. 3 stars
This is going to be unpopular opinion, but I don't think Robert Plant can sing. He sounds like a castrated bullock that has inhaled helium. It's like a weird high tone yelling. Combine that with the 7+ minute wankage that is "Since I've Been Loving You Too Long" and it makes your ears bleed. Shame, because there are some good songs on this, the rest of the band are on form, and Jimmy Page seems quite a good guitarist.
Shivkumar Sharma
4/5
p126. 1967. 4 stars.
Ethereal mood music with an Indian vibe. Had low expectations of this and was pleasantly surprised - excellent production and musicianship. Not sure I will listen to it again, but glad I did.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
2/5
p662. 1991. 2 stars, but should be 1.5.
Distinctly average, and far too long for what it is. Not keen on the shouty white faux funk/rap, and most of the tracks sound the same and just blur into each other. Set against that, excellent musicianship and there are a couple of good tunes - but not enough to deserve repeated listening.
Judas Priest
1/5
p460. 1980. 1.5 stars.
Well done of its type, but definitely not my thing. Rob Halford can't sing, and there is a lot of filler. It's dull and left no lasting impression, and the final track (Red White And Blue) is an abomination. Really struggled to listen to this one all the way through. Not essential listening.
Beck
4/5
p888. 2002. 4 stars.
Nick Drake for the new millennium. Came cold to this and was pleasantly surprised - strong lyrics, excellent musicianship and production. On the repeat listen list.
Linkin Park
1/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2000. 1.5 star.
Shouty white boy rap metal noise. Gets tedious VERY quickly. Shame, as they seem to be adequate musicians. Not essential listening.
Kacey Musgraves
5/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2018. 5 stars
The millennium lovechild of The Dixie Chicks, Joni Mitchell and Lana Del Rey. Great songs, lovely voice, classy warm production and excellent musicianship. On the repeat play list.
David Bowie
5/5
p254. 1971. 5 stars.
One of the great singer/songwriters on absolute top form. There is not a weak track on this. Exquisite musicianship and production. What's not to like?
The Smiths
2/5
p560, 1986. 2 stars
Jangly 80s guitar music for lonely pasty faced Mancs in long overcoats whilst standing on damp street corners in the rain, waiting in vain for someone to notice them. Everyone has a musical blind spot, an artist or band that everyone loves and which you just don't like. The Smiths are my blind spot. I don't like Morrisey's whinging whine of a voice, and too many of their songs sound the same. 2 stars for the couple of songs that sound different from the others and for Johnny Marr's guitar work.
Lou Reed
5/5
p264. 1972. 5 stars.
Camp, sardonic glam rock classic. 50 years on and it still sounds terrific. Half a star deducted for suspect lyrics (Andy's Chest), but otherwise this is practically flawless.
Stereolab
1/5
p775. 1996. 1.5 stars.
Vaguely annoying, repetitious, soulless electro Europop with bland vocals and no tunes. Strays into synth wankage far too often. Well produced, but outstays its welcome big time. Not essential listening in any shape or form.
Stevie Wonder
3/5
p316, 1974. 3 stars
This is going to sound like heresy, but I don't think Steve Wonder is a great album artist. The singles are usually fantastic, and there are always one or two standout tracks, but there is also a lot of filler - and this album is no exception. I appreciate the craftmanship, but not sure I would listen to it again.
Lenny Kravitz
4/5
p607. 1989. 4 stars
Well done pilfering of Prince, Hendrix and Beatles circa Abbey Road. Was surprised at how much I liked this. 1 star deducted for some tracks outstaying their welcome. Still on the replay list, though.
Talking Heads
2/5
p431. 1979. 2 stars
The problems here are David Byrne's voice - he can't sing - and no standout songs. It's instantly forgettable, other than the "singing". The best thing about this is Brian Eno's production. Not sure this is essential listening.
Public Enemy
2/5
p665. 1991. 2 stars
Hip hop/rap. Well done of its kind but not my thing at all hence 2 stars.
Pere Ubu
1/5
p400. 1978. 1 star.
Unpleasant mixture of Talking Heads, 13th Floor Elevators and The Doors, only without the songs or the talent. And David Thomas cannot sing. This is bloody awful. 35 minutes of my life I will never get back.
The Police
3/5
Victim of poor quality control and letting the untalented song writing members of the group contribute. There is a LOT of filler - both the Copeland and Summers tracks are B side material at best, and there worrying hints of the faux jazz wankage that Sting strayed into as a solo artist. Points also deducted for suspect and vaguely repellent lyrics - Every Breath You Take is every stalker's theme tune. Bit of a shame really, because when Sting is on form he can definitely knock a tune out. When this is good, it's very good.
"Hey Mr. Dinosaur/You really couldn't ask for more/You were God's favourite creature/But you didn't have a future." How prescient.
Death In Vegas
4/5
Not in my edition of the book! 1999. 4 stars
Interesting Brit alt guitar rock that wants to be Godspeed You! Black Emperor when it grows up, but with lyrics. Could be the soundtrack to a cult urban horror film. Good if you like this sort of thing, which I do.
The Dave Brubeck Quartet
3/5
p45. 1959. 3 stars
Jazz, so points immediately deducted. Inoffensive background music for cocktail and hipster bars. Technically impressive. but meanders far too often and is soulless. Saved from 2 stars for Take 5, but would not listen to again.
"Nice" - The Fast Show.
Fela Kuti
2/5
p370. 1976. 2 stars
African jazz-funk background music. Pleasant enough, but outstays its welcome. Probably best enjoyed outdoors at a music festival on a sunny day when smoking a quality spliff. Unfortunately you rarely any of those in Stoke. Unlikely to listen to this again.
The Everly Brothers
3/5
p52. 1960. 3.5 stars
THE sound of pre-Beatles white teenage America. In their heyday, the Everlys hit the sweet spot - cute AF for the girls, and cool enough to appeal to the guys. However - there's a lot of filler, and some of the sentiments in the songs are so sweet that they strip enamel from your teeth, but those harmonies can save even the most dire pop song. When they get a great song - and there are some great ones here - it's fabulous. There is just too much filler and saccharine to rate it more than 3 stars.
The Velvet Underground
1/5
p127. 1968. 1 star.
Unattractive 60s art-house rock. You can see its influence on punk rock, but that doesn't mean it's good. Outstays its welcome on most of the tracks, especially the 17 minute wankage that is Sister Ray. You can see why it didn't sell. Would not listen to it again.
Herbie Hancock
2/5
p297. 1973. 2 stars, but would give it 1.5 if that were an option.
Tedious 1970s jazz-funk with loooooong double digit minute tracks. Sounds like the rejected soundtrack for a blaxploitation film. As with most jazz, technically proficient, but it leaves me cold.
ZZ Top
3/5
p305. 1973. 3 stars
No frills quality 70s southern blues/rock. No track longer than 4 minutes, so it never outstays its welcome or gets bogged down by guitar wankage. Prefect driving music. On the other hand... a lack of standout tracks, a lot of them sound the same.
Marvin Gaye
3/5
p295. 1973. 3 stars, just.
The soundtrack to a million 70s seductions. Has not aged well - production sounds dated, and a lot of the tracks are filler. Set against that, you have one of THE great soul voices on absolutely top form.
Madonna
5/5
p610. 1989. 5 stars
An absolutely perfect pop record. And beneath the shiny veneer of love songs and chart hits there are also songs about religion, domestic abuse, sex, dysfunctional family relationships, loneliness and loss. There is not a weak track on this.
"Romeo and Juliet/They never felt this way I bet"
Can
2/5
p235. 1971. 2 stars.
70's German prog-rock/jazz wankage with Japanese vocals. Let's not forget that previous collaborations between Germany and Japan have not ended well.
Alarm bells went off as soon as I looked at the track times... 7:28, 7:23, 18:32, 17:37, 11:37, 6:27. FFS. Early fears confirmed, lots of pointless noodling and dodgy vocals. Outstays its welcome after 5 mins. Shame as the bass and drums are really tight - all sorts of future influences for 90's club and dance.
Never trust a double album made by German hippies.
Nick Drake
2/5
p208. 1970. 2.5 stars.
Perfectly acceptable background listening, with no redeeming features. There is a reason this didn't sell when it came out, and that reason is there are no standout tracks. It's the perfect background music for a million hipster bars. It's the aural equivalent of porridge.
5/5
p865. 2000. 5 stars
New millennium Chrissie Hynde. Great tunes, great songs, great attitude, great image. What's not to like?
Willie Nelson
4/5
p352. 1975. 4 stars
Country/Americana with most of the saccharine extracted. Most of the tracks are short, so it doesn't outstay its welcome. Yeehaw, but in a good way.
D'Angelo
1/5
p769. 1995. 1 star.
The background music they use in stores selling Gwyneth Paltrow's "This Smells Like My Vagina" candles.
Wannabe Marvin Gaye for the 90s, only without the talent or the voice. This was a key influence on Craig David - so! We finally have someone to blame! Can't be doing with high pitched male voices, especially when they are used on such bland material. This is soulless and instantly forgettable.
N.W.A.
1/5
p631. 1988. 1 star.
Arrogant, puerile noise. Shouting "fuck" and "motherfucker" every other sentence is neither "big" or clever. This noise is obnoxious on pretty much every level - misogyny, homophobia, violence, toxic masculinity, its all there if you want it. I don't.
5/5
p100. 1967. 5 stars.
Not a weak track on it, and it has aged astonishingly well for something that is over 50 years old. There are more ideas and quality tunes on this album that most bands manage in a 10 year career.
Roxy Music
3/5
p322. 1974. 2 stars
70s art rock for lounge lizards. Well done, but oddly soulless and emotionless. Only a couple of standout tunes, certainly not enough to repay repeated listening.
Common
2/5
p905. 2005. 2.5 stars.
Rap, so... not my thing. Seems to be well done, but only 2 stars as I don't like rap. Liked the last track though.
Syd Barrett
1/5
p220. 1970. 1 star.
Drug addled half baked outtakes from an acidhead casualty do not make for interesting listening. WTF is this doing on this list?
"I tattooed my brain all the way/Won't you miss me? Wouldn't you miss me at all?" Actually Syd, no we won't.
Isaac Hayes
4/5
p228. 1971. 3.5 stars.
Not his best album - see Hot Buttered Soul for that - and as with most 70s double albums it outstays its welcome. Do we really need 19 minute plus workout? Having said that, it's still good, easily accessible soul with silk smooth strings, and the title track is a perfect 4:39 snapshot of the early 70s.
Sabu
1/5
p33. 1957. 1 star
Dreadfully dated, and outstayed its welcome very quickly. Might be influential but not my thing.
Paul Simon
4/5
p275. 1972. 4 stars
One of the great singer/songwriters shows to successfully transition from the 60s to the 70s in style. It's not perfect - there is quite a bit of filler - but there are enough standout tracks to make up the gap, and Simon is also an excellent and underrated guitarist.
Sister Sledge
3/5
p425. 1979. 3.5 stars.
Perfect snapshot of classy late 70s disco, packed with hits and with Nile Rodgers and Bernard Edwards on top form. Well done of its kind, but as with all disco it outstays its welcome. Not essential listening.
The Boo Radleys
2/5
p721. 1993. 2 stars.
Average early 90s Brit rock wannabees, stuck between the Stone Roses and The Lightning Seeds but without the tunes or the talent. Strays into "just noise" far too often and outstays its welcome big time. Not essential listening.
Public Enemy
2/5
p649. 1990. 2 stars.
Hip-hop, so not my thing. Well done of its kind but... meh. On the plus side, most of the tracks are short. Bonus point for Fight The Power.
Simply Red
2/5
p541. 1985. 2 stars
Bland, middle of the road faux jazz/soul, only without the technique or the soul. One massive hit and a lot of filler. Not essential listening.
Q. What’s the difference between Simply Red and a bull?
A. The bull has the horns at the front and the arsehole at the back
Aphex Twin
1/5
p679. 1992. 1.5 stars
Background synth music. Well done but instantly forgettable, and it really outstays its welcome. Someone whistle me a tune from any of the 74 tedious minutes. Anyone? No, thought not.
Green Day
2/5
p751. 1994. 2 stars.
Rehashed punk/New Wave for the early 90s, with a couple of radio friendly tunes. The Undertones did this first and much better. And Billie Joe Armstrong sounds like he has a bad cold.
Hole
3/5
p832. 1998. 3.5 stars.
So this is what happens if you splice the genes of The Bangles and The Pretenders. Surprisingly accessible jangly guitar rock, but a lot of the tracks sound the same. On the replay list.
Willie Nelson
1/5
p419. 1978. 1 star.
Lazy, bland, middle of the road album of covers by a distinctly below average singer. This is background music for department stores. WTF is this doing on the list?
Machito
2/5
p35. 1957. 2.5 stars
50s Latin big band jazz. Too many bongos, but perfectly acceptable otherwise. Not sure I would listen to it again.
Buddy Holly & The Crickets
5/5
p31. 1957. 5 stars
Stripped down, primeval white rock'n'roll at its finest. Instantly recognisable sound, packed with genuine classics. It still sounds great today.
Miles Davis
1/5
p196. 1970. 1 star.
It's probably technically exquisite but... ffs, do we really need a double album of 70's jazz wankage and 20+ minute shapeless, pointless, free form tracks? There is no difference between this and all those double album prog rock albums from the same era that no-one listens to. Life is too short for this.
Gene Clark
2/5
p250. 1971. 2.5 stars.
70s country tinged Dylan wannabee, but without the standout tunes. It's perfectly acceptable, and he has a better voice than Dylan, but it's mostly typical early 70s bland singer/songwriter meandering.
Duran Duran
4/5
p502. 1982. 3.5 stars
Classy 80s Brit synth pop. Hasn't aged well - the cheesy sax and synths are firmly of the era, some of the tracks outstay their welcome, and points are deducted for dodgy lyrics. On the plus side, there are some cracking tunes in here, and at least they weren't Spandau Ballet. 3.5 stars on a bad day, 4 on a good one.
Neil Young
3/5
p331. 1974. 3.5 stars.
Classic early 70s singer songwriter fodder. Not his best, but still worth a listen.
Dolly Parton
3/5
p238 .1971. 3 stars
Quality country singer/song writer, clean production and doesn't outstay its welcome. Points deducted for occasionally straying into saccharine so sweet it can strip the enamel from your teeth.
Kraftwerk
4/5
p397. 1978. 4 stars
Would be 5 stars just for its influence on most of the early 1980s synth bands and 90s electro/trance. Even without that it still sounds great. One point docked for most of the tracks outstaying their welcome.
Scott Walker
3/5
p152. 1968. 3.5 stars.
A nearly perfect snapshot of late 60s cabaret by one of the great voices, with subversive lyrics beneath the strings and Spectoresque production. All that is missing are standout tracks. Still holds up well today.
Beatles
4/5
p156. 1968. 4 stars.
This might sound like heresy, but there is a LOT of filler here. Trim that out and you would have a 5 star album. On the plus side, there is still more inventiveness and melody here than most bands manage in a 10 year career.
Lloyd Cole And The Commotions
3/5
p527. 1984. 3.5 stars.
Sounds like Edwyn Collins hipster kid brother. Jangly 80s guitars, bitter sweet cynical lyrics, but missing standout tunes. If the rest of the album was as strong as Perfect Skin you'd be looking at 5 stars... But it isn't.
Massive Attack
3/5
p673. 1991. 3.5 stars.
Classy Brit fusion of hip-hop, reggae and trance. Shouldn't work on paper, but somehow does. Unfortunately a lot of the tracks sound the same, and points deducted for tracks outstaying their welcome.
George Harrison
4/5
p212. 1970. 4 stars
How to emerge from the long shadow of The Beatles in style. Far too long - does anyone really need a triple album? - and a lot of the third disc is pure instrumental filler. When it's good, its very good indeed - with judicious editing this would have been a 5 star single (maybe even a double) album.
The White Stripes
5/5
p878. 2001. 5 stars
Gorgeous, stripped down guitar rock with quality tunes. There is a direct line from this back to 50s Sun Records Elvis. What's not to like?
The Magnetic Fields
3/5
p842. 1999. 3 stars.
Well done hipster pop, but far too long for what it is. Do we really need 3 albums of this in one sitting? Don't get me wrong, there are some cracking tunes and sharp lyrics... but it definitely outstays its welcome and gets annoying after a while. A bit of judicious editing and this could have been 5 stars.
Radiohead
5/5
p798. 1997. 5 stars.
Cracking tunes, great vocals, sharp lyrics, even sharper production. Not a weak track on this.
Billy Bragg
3/5
p823. 1998. 3.5 stars.
Woody Guthrie lyrics and Billy Bragg tunes. Well done, but feels a bit "worthy", and is not exceptional. Worth a listen.
50 Cent
1/5
Not in my edition of the book. 1 star.
(C)Rap. Angry black man rants about motherf**kers, killing people, taking drugs, and refers to woman as "sluts with a nice butt to get a nut"... and then on his biggest hit asks "come on and give me a hug". Tedious, misogynistic, macho posturing rubbish.
"Your mami, your papi, that bitch you chasin'/Your little dirty ass kids, I'll fucking erase 'em"
Youssou N'Dour
2/5
p527. 1984. 2 stars
Well done of its kind but left me cold. Bonus star for the guitar work of Mamadou "Jimi" Mbaye.
ZZ Top
4/5
p511. 1983. 4 stars.
Stripped down Southern rock meets 80s synths and produces classic hybrid. Great guitar work and riffs, but a lot of the tracks sound the same and you can argue that most of them outstay their welcome.
Joy Division
2/5
p432. 1979. 2 stars.
Dreary and depressing meh for the most part. Ian Curtis sounds like Jim Morrison on Valium. Bonus star for the bass work.
Arcade Fire
2/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2 stars, borderline 2.5.
Canadian Deacon Blue but without the tunes. Noisy, meandering hipster noodling with no redeeming features. A couple of decent tunes but not much else.
Serge Gainsbourg
2/5
p242. 1971. 2 stars.
Well, that was weird. Glad I heard it but not sure I'll revisit it.
OutKast
2/5
p892. 2003. 1.5 stars
Hip-hop/rap, so wrong audience. Limited talent spread too thinly over a double album. Pass.
M.I.A.
4/5
p916. 2007. 4 stars, 5 on a good day.
Brit electro hip-hop meets Burundi beat and other world music, which on paper sounds like a bloody awful idea - but it's actually rather good. Started with low expectations and found myself adding to the replay list.
Bob Dylan
5/5
p60. 1963. 4.5 stars.
Lyrically light years ahead of the competition at the time, and still a million times better than most of the dross served up today. He could knock up a decent tune as well - there are stone cold classics on this - and his voice isn't shot. Half a star docked for the occasional filler track.
LL Cool J
2/5
p649. 2 stars.
Hip-hop/rap, so the wrong audience. Seems well done of its kind though.
Janelle Monáe
2/5
p929. 2010. 2.5 stars.
Well done and definitely varied, but distinctly average. Very little of it stands out. Would not listen to it again.
The Smiths
3/5
p573. 1987. 3 stars
One of my musical blind spots. I don't like The Smiths, mostly because of Morrissey's whining voice, its like a mosquito on Valium. Set against that, this is actually OK - unlike most of their other albums, the songs don't all sound the same. Still a blind spot though.
Various Artists
5/5
p62. 1963. 5 stars.
Ah c'mon, you know every track on this. Listening to this is like catching up with a favourite family member or friend each year. And it's brilliantly done, the sound of a pre-Beatles, pre-JFK assassination American Christmas captured in one perfect moment. There isn't a weak track on this.
As for this being randomly generated... this turned up on my list on 23rd Dec. Co-incidence? I think not :)
Aretha Franklin
5/5
p129. 5 stars.
One of the great voices on absolutely top form, with the songs and production to match it. There is not a weak track on this.
The Youngbloods
3/5
p182. 1969. 3 stars.
Jazz influenced CSN&Y/Love clones. Very much a mixed bag - a couple of tracks are over 6 minutes long, which sets the pointless late 60's noodling alarms off, and a couple are less than a minute, so it's a bit pointless having them on. Bit of shame, because when it's good it's not bad at all.
5/5
p280. 1972. 5 stars.
Perfect.
The Sonics
2/5
p74. 1965. 2 stars.
Background noise for drunken 60s frat parties. This is an average garage band offering covers and a handful of barely adequate originals. Bonus point for putting the effort in though. Why is this on the list?
Mike Oldfield
5/5
p299. 1973. 5 stars.
Quality English musical eccentricity. I am not a fan of 70s prog-rock or pointless, meandering noodling with instruments - but this is good. What sets it well above the dross is the sheer variety of music themes and styles that Mike Oldfield manages to blend together, and none of them outstay their welcome before moving on the next one. Half a point deducted for the caveman grunts on side 2, but a bonus half a point for Vivian Stanshall.
David Bowie
4/5
p380. 1977. 4 stars.
This is a strange one. First side is classic Bowie, great songs and delivery, with Tony Visconti on top form. The second side is a suite of electronic ambient tracks, this time with Brian Eno on top form. Not easily accessible but repays repeated listening.
Jethro Tull
2/5
p221. 1971. 2 stars
Suspect early 70's prog-folk rock. With a flute. FFS. This has not aged well - you can practically smell the stale patchouli and incense sticks - and it suffers from the usual 70s musical wankage. Pass.
"Never trust a hippy" - John Lyndon
Fred Neil
3/5
p86. 1966. 3 stars.
Classy 60s singer/songwriter. Great voice and production. There is a direct line from this to Tim Buckley and "Grace". The only thing missing are more standout songs. Good stuff.
Manu Chao
2/5
p822. 1998. 2 stars.
Eclectic collection of songs, ideally suited to sun and warmer climes. Unfortunately it is January in Stoke and it's currently -1. Perfectly acceptable fare, but not sure it's essential listening.
Nine Inch Nails
2/5
p748. 1994. 2 stars.
Unpleasantly, shouty noise with the occasional whimpering. There is not much to like here. Bonus point for Hurt. Oh, and Johnny Cash's cover is the definitive version, Trent.
Adele
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2015. 3 stars
No doubting that she can write a tune and has got a good voice but... I don't think she's moved on from her earlier (and better albums). This goes on a bit, and on a lot of the songs she sounds like a pub singer. It's perfectly acceptable fare, but it's not essential. If you're going to have one Adele album, listen to 21.
Super Furry Animals
2/5
p882. 2001. 2 stars.
Overly long pretentious tosh. Do we really need another album of eccentric noodling with the occasional decent song? No. Nothing to see here, move on.
Suicide
2/5
p388. 1977. 2 stars.
The Doors meet Nick Cave, but without any talent or songs. OK for maybe two tracks, which is all you need. Not for me. Bonus point for the screaming.
Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
3/5
p104. 1967. 3.5 stars.
60s psychedelic blues/rock smorgasborg. Great vocals. Ry Cooder on top form. Still sounds great now. All that is missing are some standout tunes. Points deducted for filler and outstaying its welcome - nobody needs an album with several tracks >6 mins.
Carpenters
3/5
p199. 1970. 3 stars.
Yes, it's middle of the road. Yes, it's the background music to a thousand 70s cheese and wine parties. Yes, you can practically smell the prawn cocktail starters and black forest gateaux. Yes, it can be bland and frequently strays into Broadway show tune styling. And yet, and yet... it's one of THE great voices mostly set against arrangements that allow it to shine. There are at least two modern standards here (We've Only Just Begun, Close To You) which is more than most bands manage in a career. When it's good, its very good indeed.
Elton John
4/5
p236. 1971.
Elton before he started strangling his vowels. Great voice, great songs, great production. Still sounds fresh today. Point deducted for some tracks straying to the usual early 70s 5 minutes+ wankage.
Kanye West
3/5
p928. 2010. 3.5 stars
Hip-hop/rap, so wrong audience, and comes with the usual foul language and misogynistic "lyrics" typical of the genre. Having said that, musically there is a LOT to like here - it's accessible, great hooks and faultless production. There's enough here to make me want to listen to his other albums, but I don't listen to those who admire Hitler.
"Bitch I'm a monster no good blood sucker/Fat muthaf-cker now look who's in trouble"
Adele
5/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2011. 5 stars.
Adele before she became a parody of herself. Cracking voice, and the albums is packed with great tunes. What's not to like?
Waylon Jennings
2/5
p301. 1973. 2 stars
Country, so wrong audience. It's OK, but its not great. On the plus side, it doesn't outstay its welcome.
The xx
2/5
p926. 2009. 2 stars.
Stripped down ambient background music for hipsters. Perfectly acceptable, but utterly forgettable.
Bob Dylan
3/5
p81. 1965. 3 stars
On the list for historical significance. It's difficult to state just how important and influential this was in the day - you've got the jump from folk to rock, the extended 5+ minutes tracks, and setting the bar for lyrical standards for everyone else. Having said that, it hasn't aged well - there is a lot of filler alongside the classics, and most of the tracks outstay their welcome.
Pet Shop Boys
2/5
p714. 1993. 2 stars
Well produced but instantly forgettable pop fluff. It speaks volumes that the biggest hit on this is a cover. Not essential listening.
Sly & The Family Stone
3/5
p223. 1971. 3.5 stars
Classy 70s funk, the source of everything Prince went on to become. Close your eyes and you can see the flares and platform shoes. Points deducted for filler.
Radiohead
3/5
p860. 2000. 3 stars.
Strays dangerously into ambient prog/rock wankage. Saved by a couple of good tunes and Thom Yorke's voice. Not their best work.
The Killers
3/5
Listed as p916 in my edition of the book but! p916 has K.I.A by Mila! 2004. 3 stars.
Oddly soulless pop-rock. Plenty of cracking tunes, and I feel I should like it more than I do, but Brandon Flowers voice puts me off.
"I've got soul but I'm not a soldier". Yeah, and I've got ham, but I'm not a hamster.
Everything But The Girl
4/5
p787. 1996. 4 stars
Classy ambient/electro pop with a great voice. 1 point deducted for some (most) of the tracks sounding the same.
Tom Waits
5/5
p467. 1980. 5 stars
A voice like Marmite, you either love it or hate it. I happen to love it. Great songs, great lyrics, great production, and he keeps it short and on point. What's not to like?
Jurassic 5
2/5
p883. 2002. 2 stars.
Hip-hop/rap, so wrong audience. Well done of its type but no redeeming features.
Queen
3/5
p328. 1974. 3 stars.
Classy but arch early 70s rock. Underneath the shiny chrome production there is a decent rock band trying to get out. A couple of stand out tunes, but too much filler to repay repeated listens. Brian May seems like quite a good guitarist.
Beastie Boys
2/5
p730. 1994. 2 stars.
White frat-boy rap that hasn't aged well. Not my thing and goes on far too long for what it is, but well done of its kind and enough variety on it to make it worth listening to once.
The Replacements
2/5
p522. 1984. 2 stars.
Distinctly average US band that can't make their minds up on whether they want to be The Clash or The Jam, but unfortunately lack the talent to be either. Not essential listening.
Björk
4/5
2004. Not in my edition of the book! 4 stars
Icelandic Kate Bush, all the weirdness without the tunes. Oddly appealing to listen to, and she has got a good voice. Not for everyone, but well worth a listen.
Morrissey
3/5
p731. 1994. 3 stars.
Well, there are some good tunes on this, and the production is excellent. Set against that are Morrissey's nasal drone of a voice, lyrics that frequently stray into self pity, and a neo-fascist attitude. Not much to like here.
The Kinks
4/5
p120. 1967. 4 stars
A near perfect snapshot of mid 60s Brit rock/pop, and the reason why Ray Davies is up there with Lennon/McCartney, Dylan and Townsend. Packed with knowing and slightly fey pop gems, and lyrically it's as sharp as a stiletto. One point docked for the 60s production which sets it firmly of its time.
Lana Del Rey
4/5
2021. Not in my edition of the book! 4 stars.
Quality songs laced with longing and melancholy, lyrics on point and a gorgeous voice. The only thing missing are standout tunes. Not her best album, but worth a listen.
Arctic Monkeys
2/5
p913. 2006. 2 stars.
Loud, obnoxious, shouty, average pub band that got lucky. Alex Turner's voice grates like chalk on a board - every time he opens his mouth I wanted to smack him to make him shut it. Bonus star for When The Sun Goes Down.
Barry Adamson
3/5
p784. 1996. 3 stars.
Meandering, vaguely subversive, jazz-based instrumentals. Well done of its kind, but hardly essential.
The Clash
3/5
p378. 1977. 3.5 stars.
Shouty garage band with some decent tunes that got lucky - right time, right place. Incredibly influential at the time, but hasn't aged well and there is a lot of filler.
The Rolling Stones
2/5
p284. 1972. 2 stars.
Further evidence that the Stones are a great singles band and an average album band. There are no standout songs, lots of filler, and it sounds like it was mixed in a neglected aquarium.
Steely Dan
4/5
p257. 1972. 4 stars.
The only Steely Dan album you need. Standout tunes and quality musicianship, and it only occasionally strays into the jazz/rock wankage that they eventually succumbed to. All that is missing is a sense of excitement.
Mott The Hoople
4/5
p298. 1973. 4 stars.
Classy Brit glam rock that perfectly captures early 70s England. Camp, sharp and sardonic lyrics, some absolute pop gems, and it doesn't outstay its welcome.
Television
3/5
p388. 1977. 3.5 stars.
Strange but oddly attractive early alt rock effort. Came cold to this and was surprised how good it is. Points deducted for strained vocals and musical wankage - too many tracks >5 mins, and no-one needs a 10 minute+ track.
Stevie Wonder
3/5
p372. 1976. 3 stars.
Further evidence that Stevie Wonder makes great singles and so-so albums. This is far too long, falls into the trap of excessive 70s wankage on several tracks, and the production hasn't aged well. Don't get me wrong, there are some classics here, but they do show up the rest of the tracks as the filler that they are - a lot of this is simply bland. A bit of judicious editing and this could have been a 5 star single album.
The Stone Roses
4/5
p616. 1989. 4 stars.
Manc based Brit pop that taps into 60s jangly guitars and psychedelia. Some classics in here, and fabulous bass playing, but a point deducted for filler, excessively long tracks and the unnecessary wankage that is Don't Stop.
Metallica
1/5
p596. 1988. 1 star.
The unwanted hatefuck children of Van Halen and Motorhead (Van Halen on the distaff side). Loud, tedious and totally redundant. No-one needs an album of heavy metal with each track over 5 minutes long. Remember 70s prog rock and the wankage associated with it? This is the 80s heavy metal equivalent. Dreadful, shouty noise. One star for the guitar work.
Soundgarden
2/5
p733. 1994. 1.5 stars.
Tedious Nirvana clones, but without the songs or the talent. Adequately done, but redundant and with no memorable songs, and far too long. WTF is this doing on the list?
De La Soul
2/5
p630. 1989. 2.5 stars
Hip-hop/rap, so wrong audience. Well done of its kind though, and with a sense of humour. Well chosen samples, but unlikely to listen again.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
3/5
p194. 1970. 3 stars.
Definitive evidence that Creedence were a great singles band and made so-so albums. There are classics on here, all released as singles - but there is a LOT of filler, mostly redundant covers of Before You Accuse Me, Ooby Dooby, My Baby Left Me and the abomination that is I Heard It Through The Grapevine. Don't get me wrong, when this is good it's excellent, but when you have a songwriter as good as John Fogerty on top form there really is no excuse for this amount of lazy filler.
CHIC
3/5
p419. 1978. 3 stars.
The sound of a thousand late 1970s nightclubs. Dated, but still fabulous - if you can't dance to this you need an undertaker. As with all disco albums, out stays its welcome after 15 mins when played outside its native habitat.
Kings of Leon
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2003. 3.5 stars.
Well done but distinctly average rock with a couple of good tunes. Nothing outstanding here.
Buzzcocks
3/5
p411. 1978. 3 stars.
The inspiration for a thousand English kids to pick up a guitar in the late 70s, so points for that. Set against that are the dreadful nasal whine of Pete Shelley's voice and the lack of standout tunes. Bonus point for I Don't Mind.
Alice Cooper
4/5
p278. 1972. 4.5 stars.
Class early 70s glam rock with a sense of humour, and which doesn't outstay its welcome. Suitably weird - big band jazz, opera and outstanding rockers - and it still sounds fresh today.
Al Green
4/5
p283. 1972. 4 stars
Prime slice of early 70s soul, with one of the great voices on absolute top form. Point deducted for dated production.
Ella Fitzgerald
5/5
p41. 1959. 5 stars.
One of THE great voices on absolute top form, with one of THE great arrangers, working together on one of THE great songwriters. What's not to like? Pure heaven.
The Beach Boys
5/5
p85. 1966. 5 stars.
The moment 60s pop music grew up, crystalised in 36 perfect minutes.
"This is the album of all time. What the hell are we (The Beatles) going to do?" - Paul McCartney after listening to Pet Sounds, 1966
Ray Charles
3/5
p41. 1959. 3 stars.
A collection of mostly redundant covers, saved only by THAT voice and the arrangements. Not his best work - see 'What'd I Say' for that.
Jorge Ben Jor
2/5
p362. 1976. 2.5 stars
Came cold to this, didn't dislike it but wasn't blown away by it either. Unlikely to listen to it again.
Screaming Trees
2/5
p773, 1996. 2.5 stars
Average grunge band with some OK tunes. Well done of its kind, but nothing special and instantly forgettable.
1/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2004. 1 star.
Pretentious, irritating, pointless noise. WTF is this shit doing on this list, and who selected it?
Alice In Chains
4/5
p699. 1992. 4 stars.
Nirvana clones with some decent tunes. Came cold to this and was pleasantly surprised. On the replay list.
The Prodigy
2/5
p806. 1997. 2.5 stars
So, someone learnt how to programme a drum machine. This hasn't dated well - 10 seconds of it and you are immediately in the late 90s - and twenty years on it sounds tedious and repetitive. Perhaps you had to be there at the time to enjoy it.
Incredible Bongo Band
1/5
p287. 1973. 1 star.
Cheesy 70s album of mostly shit covers. This is what they play during the intervals between acts in working man's clubs in Hell.
Jungle Brothers
2/5
p631. 1989. 2 stars.
Hip-hop/rap, so wrong audience. Listened to it once, don't remember anything about it.
Fleetwood Mac
5/5
p384. 1977. 5 stars.
THE sound of late 70s white AOR in just under 39 perfect minutes, and it still sounds fresh today. There is not a weak track on this.
Arcade Fire
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2007. 3 stars.
Came cold to this. Interesting, some good tunes in there. Points deducted for overly dramatic vocals and production which gets tiring reallll soon.
Metallica
2/5
p676. 1991. 1.5 stars.
Lumpy, plodding Spinal Tap for the 90s, but with an irony bypass. Definitive proof that one classic song does not make an essential album. Bonus point for Enter Sandman.
New Order
2/5
p609. 1989. 1.5 stars.
Tedious electro disco, with no memorable tunes. WTF is this doing on this list?
The Style Council
2/5
p523. 1984. 2 stars.
Self indulgent mismatch of styles and ideas - faux jazz, angry 80s Brit pop, and the abomination of failed white rap that is The Gospel. Don't get me wrong, there are a couple of Weller classics, but there are is far too much fat to repay repeated listens.
Mudhoney
2/5
p589. 1988, 2.5 stars.
Adequately done prototype Nirvana. Didn't sell well at the time, hasn't improved with age.
Lauryn Hill
2/5
p831. 1998. 2.5 stars.
Drum machine and hip-hop, so wrong audience, and it goes on for far too long without any standout songs. Set against that, she's got a great voice. Unlikely to listen to this again though.
Ray Charles
3/5
p54. 1962. 3 stars.
This really shouldn't work but... somehow it does. Points docked for the occasional saccharine over production and for being overly maudlin.
The Adverts
2/5
p404. 1978. 2.5 stars
Punk, well done of its kind, sharp lyrics but the tracks tend to blur into the same loud noise. Very much of its time. Unlikely to listen to it again.
Alanis Morissette
4/5
p1995. p772. 4.5 stars.
The source of every neurotic female singer/songwriter since 1995. Sharp lyrics and cracking tunes. Half a point docked for the occasional grating harshness of her voice.
The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
1/5
p791. 1996. 1 star.
As rough as a bear's arse.
John Lennon
3/5
p232. 1971. 3 stars.
Further evidence the lack of quality control post-Beatles. On the plus side, there are some stone cold classics. On the downside, it suffers from early 70s wankage (How Do You Sleep, I Don't Want To Be A Soldier), and the production makes most of the songs sound as if they're coated in syrup. This hasn't aged well, a bit like John. Sorry mate.
The Rolling Stones
2/5
p72. 1964. 2.5 stars.
Adequately done Brit 60s R&B, let down by the fact it's mostly covers, and none of them are an improvement on the originals. Probably on the list because of what they became, rather than the quality of this album.
The White Stripes
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2005. 3.5 stars.
Perfectly acceptable stripped down millennium rock. Not their best work - see The White Stripes or Elephant for that - but still good. 4 stars if you like their sound, 3 stars if you don't.
Stan Getz
2/5
p57. 1962. 2.5 stars.
Jazz/samba crossover, so wrong audience. Badly dated, close your eyes and you can smell the cigarette smoke and pineapple and cheese on sticks from a million pre-Beatles cocktail parties. Perfectly acceptable, just not my thing.
"Nice" - The Fast Show
Laura Nyro
2/5
p137. 1968. 2 stars.
Not sure what to make of this. She's got a decent voice, but it's set to "belt it out as loud as I can mode" more often than not. There are no standout tracks, and the 60s production veers too close to showtunes. Carole King did this type of thing far better.
Beastie Boys
3/5
p613. 1989. 3 stars.
White boy hip/hop/rap, so wrong audience. Having said that... actually quite enjoyed it. Not sure I'd revisit though.
Dr. Dre
1/5
p698. 1992. 1 star.
Shit-hop. Foul mouthed, violent, macho posturing, misogynistic and badly dated rubbish. Sample lyrics: fuck, hoe, fuck y'all, motherfucker, nigga, suck my dick, bitch. Repeat per track.
OutKast
1/5
p870, 2000. 1.5 stars.
Rap, so the wrong audience. The usual tedious rants about motherfuckers, banana niggas, gangsta shit, blowjobs, blunts, hoes, punk pussy ass bitches and pussy wreckers. Bonus half star for Ms.Jackson, but otherwise this got boring reallll soon.
Mekons
1/5
p534. 1985. 1.5 stars.
Poor man's Pogues, out of tune, no decent songs and with a worse voice than Shane MacGowan. Bonus star for keeping it short.
Michael Kiwanuka
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2019. 3 stars.
Well done indie soul-rock, but lacking standout songs. Not sure it is essential listening.
Rush
2/5
p362. 1976. 2 stars.
The epitome of 70s prog-rock wankage. Nobody needs a 20 minute+ opening track. And Geddy Lee sounds like his testicles have yet to drop. Bonus point for the musicianship, even if it is devoid of emotion.
Rage Against The Machine
2/5
p685. 1992. 2.5 stars
Loud and angry rock/rap fusion. When they discover how to write a tune they'll be quite good. Well done, but a bit too shouty for my tastes.
Portishead
4/5
p726. 1994. 4.5 stars.
Strange, surreal and bitter-sweet aural experience, like the soundtrack from a lost David Lynch adaption of Alice in Wonderland. Just when you think it's getting too pretentious it comes up like a stone cold classic like Sour Times or Glory box. And Beth Gibbon's voice is a thing of beauty.
Johnny Cash
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2002. 3 stars
Very much a mixed bag of covers and a handful of originals. The trick with covers is to add something to the original and ideally make yours the definitive version, and that doesn't happen for a lot of the songs here. However - when it does, such as on Hurt - then the results are fantastic. Worth the entry fee just for a Cash original, "The Man Comes Around".
Pentangle
3/5
p166. 1969. 3 stars.
Perfectly acceptable and slightly twee 60s English folk, close your eyes and you can almost smell the patchouli oil and incense. Bonus points for quality musicianship and Jacqui McShee's ethereal voice. And as with most 60s albums, it doesn't outstay its welcome.
The Sensational Alex Harvey Band
2/5
p307. 1973. 2 stars
Average 70s Brit-rock album from an average Brit rock band with a frontman channelling his inner Tim Curry. They weren't really successful at the time, and this is perfect evidence of why - no real standout tunes, and the usual 70's rock wankage with 7+ minute songs. I suspect this is on the list because of memories of what a good live act they were.
2/5
p282. 1972. 2 stars.
Not my thing. No standout songs, and no-one needs multiple meandering 8+ minute tracks.
Talking Heads
3/5
p382. 1977. 3.5 stars
Musically there's lots to like here - new wave meets dance - but I can't be doing with David Byrne's voice, he sounds like he has a hernia. On the plus side, its short. Bonus point for Psycho Killer.
Dion
2/5
p344. 1975. 2 stars.
Springsteen on Prozac. On the plus side, it's short and it's in tune.
Fleet Foxes
4/5
p920. 2008. 4 stars.
CSN/John Phillips hybrid for the new millennium, which isn't a bad thing. Missing standout tunes but still good. On the replay list.
The Saints
2/5
p418. 1978. 2.5 stars
Well done Aussie punk, with some decent tunes and added horns. Probably fantastic at the time, but sounds dated now. Not on the replay list.
The Velvet Underground
3/5
p114. 1967. 3 stars.
The perfect response to the Summer of Love, and very much a mixed bag. There are some stone cold classics on this (Venus In Furs, I'm Waiting For The Man) and it was hugely influential on late 70s punk/new wave. Set against that is a lot of filler - European Son is just noise - and Nico can't sing. Still worth a listen after 50+ years/
Amy Winehouse
4/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2003. 4 stars.
One of the best debut albums ever made, and a perfect commentary on the early Millennium ladette culture. Great tunes, sharp lyrics, and THAT voice. What's not to like?
The Pharcyde
1/5
p691. 1992. 1 star
Another shit hip-hop/rap album. Wannabe Beastie Boys but without any talent.
U2
3/5
p541. 1983. 3 stars.
U2 before they became flabby and self righteous. 1 point docked for Bono's near-hysterical vocals.
Dead Kennedys
3/5
p454. 1980. 3.5 stars.
You have to be in the right mood for this, but if you are, it's the only other punk album you need.
David Bowie
2/5
p342. 1975. 2 stars
Just because it's Bowie doesn't mean it's good. Great production and vocally he's on point, but there is a lot of filler, very few standout songs, and it suffers from the usual mid-70's excessive track lengths. In addition, the cover of Across The Universe is an abomination.
"Ain't there one damn song that can make me break down and cry". Not on this album.
Carole King
5/5
p227. 1971. 4.5 stars,
THE template for every female singer-songwriter that came after. Half a point deducted for dated production, .but those songs still sound great 50 years on.
Fever Ray
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2009. 3 stars.
Bjork clone, which is either a good or bad thing depending on your tastes. Bonus point for opening with the theme song from "Vikings".
Morrissey
3/5
Not in my edition of the book. 2004. 3 stars.
I was quite prepared to dislike this - I don't care for Morrissey's singing or his views - but its actually quite good. Decent tunes and some sharp lyrics, offset by the usual self pitying/self-loathing you expect from the miserable Mancunian racist.
The Police
5/5
p428. 1979. 4.5 stars
Quality Brit New Wave. Definitive proof that Sting can knock out a tune with the best of them, and that Stewart Copeland was a surprisingly decent songwriter. Half a point deducted for Sting's annoying cod-Caribbean vocals.
The Mamas & The Papas
3/5
p90. 1966. 3.5 stars.
Classy folk-rock harmonies that stray dangerously into middle of the road easy listening. When it's good, its excellent - California Dreaming is a classic - but a lot of the time it's just bland.
Ray Price
2/5
p58. 1962. 2 stars.
Old time country and western, marinated in cigarette smoke and the bottom of a glass. OK for a couple of tracks and then gets depressing.
Eminem
4/5
p859. 2000. 4 stars.
Foul mouthed white boy rap which usually would be an immediate nope, but this is good. At its best it's articulate, incisive, funny, and has some great riffs. Point deducted for usual racist, sexist and homophobic lyrics that come with the genre.
Kate Bush
5/5
p620. 1989. 4.5 stars.
Brilliant all rounder shows how it should be done - there are more ideas and invention here than most artists manage in an entire career. And This Woman's Work is possibly the best song she's ever written. Half a point docked for getting a little bit saggy around the rear, but its still fabulous. A bit like Kate :)
The Incredible String Band
1/5
p132. 1968. 1 star.
60s folk addled by too many magic mushrooms. Meandering, tuneless songs, pretentious lyrics, and a vocalist singing flatter than a witch's tit. And it has a random sitar and a kazoo. This is an absolute clusterfuck of an album. Avoid.
"Never trust a hippy" - John Lyndon
Hole
3/5
p740. 1994. 3 stars
Well done angry she-grunge, some sharp and hard delivery. Missing standout tunes though.
Faust
1/5
p297. 1973. 1 star.
A double album of tedious hippy German electronica with +10 minute tracks? Fuck no.
Lynyrd Skynyrd
2/5
p286. 1973. 2.5 stars.
Well done Southern state rock, but suffering from the usual early 70s wankage. No-one needs 9+ minute tracks, not even Freebird. They seem like quite good guitarists though.
Maxwell
2/5
p785. 1996. 2 stars
Bland background music for hipster bars with no standout tunes. I hate this sanitised, washed out "R&B" with a loathing that goes beyond all understanding. Bonus point for classy production.
Doves
2/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2002. 2 stars.
Average millennial Britpop with no redeeming features. Played it once, can't remember any songs from it.
David Bowie
4/5
p356. 1976. 4.5 stars
Schizophrenic blend of electronica, white boy soul and hard rock with some quality tunes thrown in. Shouldn't work, but somehow it does. Point deducted for the usual 70s wankage - no-one needs a Bowie track that is 10+ minutes long - but half a point bonus for the best ever cover of Wild Is The Wind.
Michael Jackson
3/5
p580. 1987. 3 stars
Well, there's no denying he could knock out a tune - this is packed with hits - and Man In The Mirror is possibly the best thing he did. Vocally he's on top form, but set against that is the dated production and an awful lot of filler. And I can't shake off the embarrassment of listening to music made by a child molester.
1/5
p263. 1972. 1 star.
The epitome of 70s prog rock wankage. Pretentious, tedious musical noodling, technically proficient but with all the soul of a ring wraith of Mordor. An 18 minute opening track? Fuck no.
Doves
3/5
p856. 2000. 3.5 stars
Decent enough background music, with no standout tunes. Worth a replay though.
Moby
4/5
p847. 1999. 4 stars.
Immediately accessible sampling album, and the background music to a million adverts. Point deducted for loss of freshness, but that's what you get for licensing your music to anyone who thinks it would be cool as the soundtrack for their car or perfume ad.
Kate Bush
5/5
p538. 1985. 5 stars.
Her best album. Flawless.
Incubus
3/5
p842, 1999. 3 stars.
Well done but distinctly average 90s metal. Desperately want to be Nirvana but lack the talent.
1/5
p615. 1989. 1 star
Intolerable and unremittingly violent jazz improvisation. My ears are bleeding.
The Zombies
4/5
p153. 1968. 4 stars
Quality 60s Brit pop that hits the sweet spot between The Beatles and The Beach Boys. Gorgeous arrangements, quality songs, and Colin Blunstone has a wonderful voice. All that is missing is a sense of excitement.
Led Zeppelin
2/5
p339. 1975. 2 stars.
Led Zep at their flabbiest. A double album of mostly average songs, with the decent ones victim to the usual mid-70s +5 minute rock wankage of the time. A bit of judicious editing and this could have a half decent single album.
Os Mutantes
2/5
p135. 1968. 2 stars.
Well, that was weird, and not in a good way.
Neil Young
5/5
p258. 1972. 5 stars.
Quality early 70s singer/songwriter on top form. Not a weak track on this. Short, sweet and on point.
Sade
2/5
p518. 1984. 2 stars.
Bland background faux jazz/soul for 80s cocktail bars. Shiny production can't compensate for the mostly average songs, or the complete lack of emotion or passion in any of them. Most of the time Sade sounds like she is either bored or on Prozac. Hard to imagine that this was the soundtrack to a thousand Yuppie seductions.
R.E.M.
5/5
p690. 1992. 5 stars.
Perfect. And Nightswimming is possibly the greatest song ever written.
The Electric Prunes
2/5
p124. 1967. 2.5 stars
Well done but average 60s rock pop. One classic single does not make for essential listening before you die.
R.E.M.
3/5
p566. 1987. 3.5 stars.
Quality jangly 80s guitar with some great songs and quite a bit of filler. Not their best work - see Automatic For The People for that - but still good.
Little Simz
2/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2019. 2 stars.
Average and occasionally foul mouthed (c)rap. Bonus point for the couple of decent tunes on it like Selfish and Venom. Probably only on the list because she's black, female and British. Not essential listening.
Basement Jaxx
1/5
p851. 1999. 1.5 stars
Average electronic dance album with zero redeeming features. Background music for every sticky carpeted backstreet student club. Bonus point for Red Alert.
The Monkees
2/5
p107. 1967. 2.5 stars
Average 60s pop album from an average 60s pop group. A couple of standout tunes, but there is a lot of filler. On the plus side, it is short.
2Pac
1/5
p758. 1995. 1.5 stars.
Starts off with the usual tedious, toxic masculinity driven, foul mouthed, misogynistic (c)rap, changes to decent lyrics with some serious points to make before returning to type on "Fuck The World" and "Death Around The Corner". In addition a lot of the tracks sound the same and just bleed into each other. There are better ways to spend 1 hour and 5 minutes of your life than listening to this.
Jerry Lee Lewis
5/5
p74. 1964. 5 stars.
I'm not a fan of live albums, but this is terrifyingly good - early 60s raw musical energy, captured into a perfect 37 mins (YouTube version).
Radiohead
3/5
Not in my edition of the book. 2001. 3 stars.
Well done, but lacking standout tracks and strays dangerously into prog rock wankage. Not their best work by any means - who selected this for the 1001 albums list?
Suzanne Vega
2/5
p535. 1985. 2 stars.
Average 80s singer-songwriter with teenage angst lyrics, shiny production and quality guitar work. One standout track, but otherwise it's nothing exceptional - too many tracks sound the same, and it hasn't dated well. On the plus side it's short.
Bebel Gilberto
2/5
p858. 2000. 2 stars.
Brazilian Sade for the new millennium. Bland background music for Ibiza hipster bars.
Jacques Brel
2/5
p68. 1964. 2 stars.
Well done of its type, but definitely not my thing.
Franz Ferdinand
5/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2004. 5 stars.
Quality, edgy Brit indie pop. Cracking tunes, sharp lyrics - what's not to like?
Ice Cube
1/5
p697. 1992. 1 star.
The usual foul mouthed tedious (c)rap. Sample lyrics: fuck, nigga, motherfucker, shit, bitch, whore. No thanks.
Arrested Development
1/5
p680. 1992. 1.5 stars.
Better than the average foul-mouthed (c)rap/hip-hop of the time. Well done of its kind but still not my thing at all.
Simon & Garfunkel
4/5
p147. 1968. 4 stars.
Quality 60s folk-pop, infused with melancholy and only let down by the amount of filler on it. When it's good it's very good indeed, and Paul Simon is an underrated guitarist.
Bob Marley & The Wailers
3/5
p290. 1973. 3 stars.
Well done of its kind and some decent tunes, but reggae just leaves me cold. On the plus side, its short.
Penguin Cafe Orchestra
2/5
p366. 1976. 2 stars.
Sounds like the incidental music from failed BBC sitcoms of the 1970s. Background noise for cheese and wine parties. Technically well done, but insipid and dull.
Pink Floyd
1/5
p112. 1967. 1 star.
This might have been tolerable if you were out of your head on a decent tab of LSD. As it is, it's just twee 60's hippy noodling.
Gil Scott-Heron
2/5
p327. 1974. 2 stars.
Sharp lyrics that are still relevant today, let down by meandering jazz improv with no trace of a tune. Not essential listening.
Bruce Springsteen
4/5
p529. 1985. 4 stars.
Anthems for 80s American blue collar workers. Packed with hits, there is only one weak track on this ("Bobby Jean") and the lyrics are a direct counterpoint to the hope of "Born To Run". Not his best work, but still pretty damn good. Point deducted for dated 80s production and synths.
"I'm ten years burning down the road / Nowhere to run, ain't got nowhere to go"
Curtis Mayfield
2/5
p354, 1975. 2 stars.
Well done of its kind without being remotely memorable, and it hasn't aged well - 30 seconds in and you're immediately transported to a world of long hair, sideburns, purple flared trousers and platform shoes. On the plus side, it's short.
Led Zeppelin
3/5
p176. 1969. 3 stars.
Adequate Brit blues/folk/rock blend, a couple of standout tracks and a lot of overly long filler. Bonus point for 'fessing up to losing his girl to Gollum.
The Byrds
4/5
p118, 1967. 4 stars.
Quality 60's West Coast folk-rock that's aged really well. Point deducted for the filler, but this shows why they could have been contenders.
Kid Rock
1/5
p838. 1998. 1 star.
Foul mouthed white rap without the humour or intelligence of Eminem. Tedious, shouty noise. Why the fuck is this on the list?
Iron Maiden
2/5
p500. 1982. 2 stars.
Well done of its type, but heavy metal leaves me cold, and Bruce Dickinson sounds like he has a hernia.
Meat Loaf
5/5
p389. 1977. 5 stars.
Bombastic, overproduced rock opera with a genuine sense of humour and cracking tunes. Love it.
New Order
1/5
p541. 1985. 1.5 stars.
Annoying and whiny Mancs discover dance music and synths. They only have two songs, and they are spread very thinly over 40 minutes. And Bernard Sumner cannot sing. At least it is short.
Mariah Carey
2/5
p815. 1997. 2 stars.
Terrific voice let down by sub-par material. This is just bland background music for dinner parties.
Cocteau Twins
3/5
p518. 1984. 3 stars.
Got to admit, the Cocteau Twins are one of my musical blind spots. I can appreciate the musicianship and they have some decent songs, but I find Liz Frazer's voice shrill and grating after a couple of tracks. And it's all a bit... soulless. Well done though.
David Bowie
4/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2013. 4 stars.
I tended not to listen to late Bowie albums, something I regret now. This was the first time I've heard this, and it's excellent - all it is missing is a standout singles track. Wasn't expecting it to be this good. Definitely on the replay list.
Buena Vista Social Club
1/5
p808. 1997. 1.5 stars.
Well done but... average. Boring. Bland. Who picked this for the list?
Living Colour
1/5
p589. 1988. 1 star.
Spinal Tap with an irony bypass. WTF is this doing on the list?
Johnny Cash
5/5
p137. 1968. 5 stars.
Not a fan of live albums, but this one hits the sweet spot. Great songs, great voice, great atmosphere.
Mercury Rev
2/5
p833. 1998. 2.5 stars.
Twee trippy psychedelic pop with fey vocals and one standout song (Goddess On A Highway). Other than that, this gets tiresome and pretentious reallll soon.
The Doors
4/5
p116. 1967. 4 stars.
Astonishing debut, a weird combination of jazz, blues, psychedelic pop and theatre rock that somehow works. Point deducted for the excessive mid 60s wankage, and the occasionally dated production and arrangements
Johnny Cash
4/5
p162. 1969. 4 stars.
Not as good as "At Fulsom Prison" - there is some definite filler here - but it's still fine. Makes you realise how good Cash was in his heyday.
Portishead
2/5
p922. 2008. 2.5 stars.
Not their best work - see "Dummy" for that - and it lacks any standout tunes and descends into noise very quickly.
R.E.M.
3/5
p505. 1983. 3.5 stars.
Not their best work - see Automatic For The People for that - but this good stuff, jangly guitars and some cracking tunes let down by filler and obscure lyrics.
The Smiths
3/5
p539. 1985. 3 stars.
Never cared for The Smiths - they are a musical blind spot for me - but this is good. Johnny Marr is a guitar genius. Points deducted for Morrisey's nasal whine and "oh woe is me" lyrics.
Beatles
5/5
p164. 1969. 5 stars.
More ideas and creativity in 47 minutes than most bands manage in an entire career. Half a point docked for excessive wankage on "Oh Darling" and "I Want You (She's So Heavy)", but bonus half a point for the incredible song cycle on side 2.
Deep Purple
2/5
p205. 1970. 2.5 stars.
So! This is the genesis of all those 70s heavy metal bands! Well of its kinds but suffers from ridiculous lyrics and excessive early 70s wankage. Nobody needs multiple tracks >7 minutes long, regardless of how well or fast you can play.
Madness
2/5
p492. 1982. 2 stars.
Evidence - if it was needed - that Madness were a great singles band, but lacked the talent for a full length album. And to be honest the pub piano, cheesy sax and Camden accents get wearing after a couple of tracks.
Country Joe & The Fish
2/5
p102. 1967. 2 stars.
Pointless hippy-trippy noodling with no redeeming features.
Minor Threat
2/5
p519. 1983. 2 stars.
Foulmouthed, shouty proto Green Day without the tunes - "Cashing In" could well be a Green Day discard. Already 5 years behind the curve when it was issued. Curiosity value only.
The Temptations
3/5
p279. 1972. 3 stars.
Classy early 70s Motown, let down by filler and redundant covers. When it's good, it's very good indeed.
Prince
4/5
p520. 1984. 4 stars.
Almost perfect. There are some classics on this - it's just let down by dated 80s synths and filler tracks.
The Isley Brothers
3/5
p311. 1973. 3.5 stars.
Quality early 70s soul, let down by filler, redundant covers and the usual 70s excessive wankage - but when it's good, it's brilliant. Ernie Isley is an unsung guitar legend, and Summer Breeze may be one of the greatest songs ever.
Ladysmith Black Mambazo
3/5
p577. 1987. 3.5 stars.
Extremely well done and pleasant to listen to, but not my thing at all. Glad I heard it once, but unlikely to listen to it again.
Drive Like Jehu
1/5
p753. 1994. 1 stars.
Utterly redundant shouty punk rock that is 15 years too late. Why is this below average shit even on the list?
Joan Armatrading
3/5
p363. 1976. 3.5 stars.
Classy mid 70s Brit singer-songwriter with a fabulous voice. All that's missing are standout tracks - if everything was as good as "Love And Affection", it would be 5 stars.
Talking Heads
2/5
p410. 1978. 2 stars.
There are some half decent tracks here, and Brian Eno's production is fantastic - but I can't be doing with David Byrne's voice, he sounds like a dog with its leg caught in barbed wire.
Gang Of Four
1/5
p440. 1979. 1 star.
Unpleasant proto Franz Ferdinand, but without the talent or tunes. Not much to like here.
Antony and the Johnsons
4/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2005. 4 stars.
Gorgeous voice and production, and tracks infused with melancholy. The only things missing are more standout tracks.
Django Django
4/5
p932. 2012. 4 stars.
Came cold to this and was pleasantly surprised - quality harmonies and tunes. Sounds like Brian Wilson's hipster grandkids discovering surf rock and LSD. On the replay list.
Sly & The Family Stone
3/5
p178. 1969. 3.5 stars.
So this is where Prince stole his sound from! Quality late 60s soul-funk-rock hybrid. Still sounds fresh today. Points docked for the usual late 60s wankage on some tracks - no-one needs a 13 minutes+ guitar workout on "Sex Machine".
Anita Baker
5/5
p559. 1986. 5 stars.
One of THE great soul voices on absolutely top form. This is fabulous.
Hüsker Dü
2/5
p572. 1987. 2 stars.
Average garage band that desperately wants to be REM, but lack the talent or songs. Nothing of interest here. Why is this even on the list?
Bonnie Raitt
3/5
p627, 1989. 3 stars.
Music for US midwest roadside bars. Well done country/rock, but lacking standout tunes.
Kate Bush
3/5
p495. 1982. 3 stars.
Mad as a sack of frogs. This is Kate in her most screechy and oddest phase, with one of her worst songs (There Goes A Tenner) and the entire album switches from genre to genre like a hyperactive child with attention deficit disorder. And yet, and yet... strangely accessible. Bit like Kate :)
Suede
4/5
p704. 1993. 4 stars
The lost children of Ziggy Stardust. There are some cracking tunes in here - point deducted for a saggy middle section (bit like Brett Anderson) and his voice which gets annoying after a while.
Femi Kuti
1/5
p764. 1995. 1 star.
Probably fine if you like meandering Afrobeat noodling. I don't.
Fatboy Slim
3/5
p824. 1998. 2.5 stars.
The singles are great, the rest... mostly filler. And it gets tedious reaal soon. 3 stars on a good day.
The Streets
3/5
p901. 2004. 3 stars.
Starts off sounding like the council estate offspring of Jilted John, and the drum machine gets tedious reallll soon. And yet... somehow it turns it round with the last couple of tracks. "Dry Your Eyes" is a thing of beauty.
Brian Eno
4/5
p373. 1977. 4 stars.
Sounds like Talking Heads on a good day. Startling good production, let down by a lack of standout tracks. One for the hi-fi purists :)
Isaac Hayes
3/5
p183. 1969. 3 stars.
Fabulous production, and one of the great soul voices on top form. Set against that are excessively long tracks - 12+ minute workout on "Walk On By" and a 9+ "intro" to "By The Time I Get To Phoenix". There is a reason there were single versions of both of these. When it's good, its very good indeed.
Miles Davis
2/5
p34. 1957. 2 stars.
Jazz, so the wrong audience. Seems well done of its type, though. Unlikely to replay this.
3/5
p125. 1967. 3 stars.
Tremendous voice and some great songs, let down by a lot of filler and a surfeit of steel guitars. Yeehaw.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
5/5
p439. 1979. 5 stars.
Brilliant all-rounder shows how it should be done. There is not a weak track on this. Perfect.
Tom Waits
3/5
p345. 1975. 3 stars.
Great voice, great lyrics and a sense of humour, but there are no tunes to speak of and I'm not a fan of cocktail bar jazz.
Green Day
5/5
p904. 2004. 5 stars.
A glorious thrash from start to finish. There is not a weak track on this.
The Avalanches
1/5
p870. 2000. 1 star.
Tedious sampling album that detracts from the original songs, intercut with random, annoying, out of tune sound bites. WTF is this shit doing on the list?
Neu!
2/5
p338. 1975. 2 stars.
Bland, pointless mostly instrumental noodling. Bonus star for the production.
Korn
1/5
p838. 1998. 1 star.
Foul mouthed, obnoxious, unpleasant and distinctly average heavy metal/rap fusion. This hurt my ears.
"You hate me/And I hate you". Yup, about right.
Funkadelic
2/5
p408. 1978. 2 stars.
Well done of its kind, but wrong audience. Also subject to the usual late 70's wankage.
The Rolling Stones
3/5
p130. 1968. 3 stars.
Evidence that the Stones were once a decent blues/rock band. When it's good it's very good indeed, but there is a LOT of filler.
The Fall
2/5
p430. 1979. 2 stars.
Not their best work by means, but worth a listen if you enjoy sardonic Mancs in late 70s/early Thatcher era.
Pavement
1/5
p678. 1992. 1 star.
Average garage band with no tunes. Why is this even on the list?
Dexys Midnight Runners
3/5
p451. 1980. 3 stars.
The good: fabulous brass section and a handful of good songs.
The bad: Kevin Rowland's vocals. He can't sing and he has the worst articulation ever. It speaks volumes (unlike Kevin Rowland) that Spotify doesn't know most of the lyrics to the songs, probably because no-one can understand WTF he is saying.
LCD Soundsystem
1/5
p947. 2017. 1 star.
Tedious electro dance that desperately wants to be Bowie, but lacks both the talent and the songs. And too many of the tracks descend into wankage - no-one needs a 12+ minute final track. WTF is this doing on the list?
Boston
4/5
p357. 1976. 4 stars.
Quality late 70s American pomp rock with fabulous production, fabulous vocals and some great songs. Points deducted for the usual 70s wankage, but a bonus point for being the source of "Smells Like Teen Spirit".
Christina Aguilera
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2002. 3 stars.
Well, she's got a great set of pipes, and there are a handful of good songs on this - but there is also a LOT of filler. Better quality control and this could have been a 5 - as it is, it goes on far too long.
Grant Lee Buffalo
3/5
p710. 1993. 3 stars.
Decent voice and lyrics let down by a lack of memorable tunes. Interesting rather than essential.
Sonic Youth
3/5
p579. 1987. 3 stars.
Noisy bridge between punk and grunge. Well done of its kind but no redeeming features.
Morrissey
4/5
p599. 1988. 4 stars.
There are some cracking tunes and lyrics here, even if most of them are about self loathing and despair. And I can't give 5 stars to any depressive racist Manc.
The Gun Club
3/5
p480. 1981. 3 stars
Strangely alluring mix of garage band, punk and quality 60s influences (Creedence, The Doors), let down by a lack of quality songs. Worth a listen though.
Pavement
1/5
p725. 1994. 1 star.
Desperately average garage band with no tunes and a vocalist that can't sing. Most of this is just noise. WTF is on the list?
Lucinda Williams
4/5
p826. 1998. 4.5 stars.
Sounds like Sheryl Crow's older and arguably more talented sister :) Great voice, great lyrics and songs. Half a point deducted for the occasional lapse into yeehaw.
Paul Simon
2/5
p509. 1983. 2 stars.
Pales in comparison to his best work. Average at best, and there is a LOT of filler. Bonus point for "Johnny Ace".
Liz Phair
3/5
p708. 1993. 3.5 stars.
Sounds like Courtney Love's younger, pissed off sister, which ain't a bad thing. Came to this cold and was surprised how much I liked it. All it's missing are standout tunes.
Bee Gees
3/5
p165. 1969. 3 stars.
Pros: well, they knew how to knockout a tune, and the production is excellent.
Cons: suspect lyrics - something they never sorted throughout their long career - Robin Gibb's voice (the equivalent of vocal jelly) and a complete lack of any musical direction or coherence. It's a mess, but worth listening to.
MC Solaar
1/5
p660. 1991. 1 star.
French rap. Non.
Thin Lizzy
4/5
p409. 1978. 4 stars.
Not a fan of live or double albums, but this is an exception. A greatest hits set from one of the best live bands ever. Point deducted for the occasional lapse into late 70's wankage - no-one needs 7+ minute tracks or extended drum solos.
Pixies
3/5
p642. 1990. 3 stars.
Average rock band with some decent tunes, but lyrically inept. You can hear the influence on Nirvana, it's just that Kurt Cobain did it better :)
Ute Lemper
2/5
p869. 2000. 2 stars.
Sounds like the original cast recording from a failed Edinburgh Fringe musical. Massively disappointing when you consider the song writing talent (Tom Waits, Nick Cave, Elvis Costello). And she has an annoyingly strident voice. Bonus point for being in tune.
Solomon Burke
4/5
p69. 1964. 4 stars.
One of the THE great soul voices on peak form, let down by some sub-par material. When it's good, it's brilliant.
4/5
p770. 1995. 4 stars.
THE sound of Britain in the early 90s, and a decent Beatles clone to counter Blur's Kinks imitation. Some great songs here, fabulous production, and Liam Gallagher sings like a bastard. Point deducted for suspect lyrics, filler ("The Swamp Song"), and the obvious thefts from Slade, Gary Glitter and T.Rex.
Sepultura
2/5
p669. 1991. 2 stars.
Well done of its type, but there is nothing here that hasn't been done before and better by Motorhead.
The Bees
1/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2002. 1 star.
Redundant bland pop songs from a bland pop group, with one song used for a car advert. Utterly forgettable. WTF is this doing on the list?
Skunk Anansie
2/5
Not in my edition of the book! 1999. 2 stars.
Average rock band with average songs, partially offset by (mostly) excellent vocals. Not much to like here.
Nanci Griffith
3/5
p550. 1986. 3 stars.
Inoffensive 80's country album. Lovely voice and some classy songs, but strays in yeehaw too often and there's a lot of filler.
Roxy Music
3/5
p276. 1972. 3 stars.
Inventive and schizophrenic debut that epitomises early 70s Brit Glam/Art rock. Points deducted for the dated sound - one track and you can immediately picture long hair, glitter, platform shoes and flares - and for Bryan Ferry's voice, which is an acquired taste.
Elbow
5/5
p922. 2008. 5 stars.
Fabulous Brit alt rock tinged with melancholy and gentle humour. There is not weak track on this.
SZA
3/5
p951. p207. 3 stars.
Well done but average millennium "R&B". Decent voice and explicit lyrics do not make for essential listening.
Richard Thompson
5/5
p326. 1974. 5 stars.
Magnificent 70s Brit folk rock. Great vocals, great guitar work. Not a weak track on this.
Rufus Wainwright
4/5
p900. 2004. 4 stars.
This is what you get if you splice the DNA of Scott Walker and Thom Yorke. Great voice, sharp lyrics with a dark sense of humour, and you have to admire the sheer variety of styles handled on the album. All that's missing are standout tracks.
Dizzee Rascal
1/5
p892. 2003. 1 star.
Rap/grime, so wrong audience. It's tedious beyond belief, and the Cockney accent makes this almost unbearable. Difficult to give any stars to someone who thinks it's OK to assault women.
Frank Ocean
2/5
p923. 2012. 2 stars.
Formulaic, bland, uninspired plastic high pitched vocal "R&B". Background music when shopping at Monsoon. Big Joe Turner must be turning in his grave.
Ice T
1/5
p664. 1991. 1 star.
Rap, so wrong audience. All the usual tedious, macho, misogynistic foul mouthed cliches. Might have been fresh and shocking at the time, now it just sounds dated and obnoxious. And at 1hr 12m it outstays its welcome reaaaaall soon.
Sam Cooke
3/5
p62. 1963. 3 stars.
Pros: THAT voice, and some great material.
Cons: I'm not a fan of live albums. And strangely... it all felt a bit artificial... and dare I say it, soulless?
Steely Dan
2/5
p333. 1974. 2 stars.
Technically excellent but ultimately soulless music for aged hipsters. It's the aural equivalent of a Ring Wraith. And they use a goddam awful electric piano, its a major part of their sound. On the plus side, it's short, even if it seems to go on forever. Bonus point for Rikki Don't Lose That Number.
Rahul Dev Burman
2/5
p345. 1975. 2 stars.
Weird selection. Schizophenric Indian film score that pilfers from multiple music genres. Well done, but why is this on the list? It feels like an afterthought - "better have some Bollywood in there, but make it accessible."
Dusty Springfield
3/5
p70. 1964. 3 stars.
The source of all white female blue eyed soul. Mostly covers, and the production is horribly dated - but that's offset by THAT voice. When this is good it's excellent. Better quality control on the material and this could easily have been a 4 or a 5. When this is good it's excellent.
Tito Puente
2/5
p37. 1958. 2 stars
Guaranteed to make any hip twitch. Well done of its kind, but not my thing. Unlikely to revisit.
Van Morrison
4/5
p205. 1970. 4 stars
Quality Celtic soul, still sounds fresh today. Great vocals, fabulous horn section, all that's missing are more standout songs.
The Undertones
4/5
p464. 1980. 4 stars.
Prototype Green Day. Short, sweet and wonderful punk-pop hybrid, let down by filler and a totally redundant cover. When it's good it's terrific.
Dinosaur Jr.
1/5
p597. 1988. 1 star.
Noisy, repetitive and redundant late 80s US indie rock. Each trac sounds the same, and the vocalist has an annoying nasal whine. Not much to like here.
Chicago
1/5
p181. 1969. 1 star.
Frankenstein-esque blend of jazz and rock for stoned hippies - farting horns, squealing guitars and cowbells. No-one needs multiple 5 minute+ tracks of repetitive guitar noodling, regardless of how well it is done. And "Free Form Guitar" is wankage of the first order. Thank God for punk.
JAY Z
1/5
p880. 2001. 1 star
(C)rap. Usual tedious, macho, misogynistic, foul mouthed nonsense. Bonus point for the production values and the obvious theft from Issac Hayes on the opener.
Sample "lyrics":
"Nigga's kidnap your babies/Spit on your lady/We bring knife to a fistfight/Kill your drama/We kill you motherfucking ants with a sledgehammer".
Jane's Addiction
1/5
p603. 1988. 1 star,
Shouty American guitar rock with no tunes, a whiny lead vocalist, and nothing much to say.
"It's just corporate dick rock. It's Van Halen with different makeup artists." - Dave Barbe.
Pet Shop Boys
3/5
p581. 1987. 3 stars.
Proof - if it were needed - that the Pet Shop Boys were a great singles band, but lacked the talent for a decent album. And it's dreadfully dated, darlings. Bonus points for "Rent" and the Dusty Springfield cameo.
Ali Farka Touré
2/5
p739, 1994. 2 stars.
Pleasant enough world music/blues crossover, and some great guitar work from Ry Cooder - but ultimately it's bland background noise.
Dolly Parton
3/5
p565. 1987. 3 stars.
Well done collection of country standards, and gorgeous harmonies. Having said that, it is mostly a covers album.
The White Stripes
4/5
p893. 2003. 4 stars.
Fabulous stripped down guitar rock with some great tunes, that doesn't take itself too seriously. Point deducted for the redundant Dusty Springfield cover.
Joni Mitchell
3/5
p320. 1974. 3 stars.
Well, the voice is great, and the lyrics are sharp - but there are no standout tunes, and the production has NOT dated well. Without the voice this would be soulless mid 70s West Coast FM listening.
Girls Against Boys
1/5
p724. 1994. 1 star.
Average garage band with average songs. WTF is this doing on the list? On the plus side, it's short.
Suede
4/5
p743. 1994. 4 stars.
Quality 90s Brit-pop spliced with Bowie Glam rock. Point deducted for excessive track wankage, and it does outstay its welcome.
The War On Drugs
2/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2014. 2 stars.
The aural equivalent of a hipster non-alcoholic craft beer.
Raekwon
1/5
p756. 1995. 1 star.
Not going to lie, this is the first album on the list that I gave up trying to listen all the way through. Tedious, foul mouthed garbage from guttersnipes. It's fucking horrible.
Radiohead
5/5
p915. 2007. 5 stars.
Difficult to fault this, great songs, great vocals, great production. Not a weak track on this.
The Sabres Of Paradise
1/5
Not in my edition of the book! 1994. 1 star.
Tedious Brit electro music that wants to be Vangelis when it grows up. No-one needs multiple meandering tracks >5 minutes long. Why is this even on the list?
Radiohead
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2003. 3 stars.
Perfectly acceptable, but not their best work by any means. Why is this on the list when there are already 4 other Radiohead albums on it, and even the band think this is one of their weaker efforts?
The The
2/5
p549. 1986. 2 stars (just)
Angry but average 80s Brit synth band that wanted to be Heaven 17. No memorable tunes, and the production has not aged well. No idea why this is on the list.
Donovan
2/5
p121. 1967. 2 stars.
60's hippy-trippy nonsense, saved from a one star review by a couple of good tunes. I imagine that at the time, with a decent summer, a tab of LSD and a liberated hippy chick, this would have been fabulous. As it is, it's as faded as meadow wildflowers in autumn.
Prefab Sprout
1/5
p534. 1985. 1 star.
Weedy, pretentious, soulless 80s UK hipster pop. Wants to be The Style Council but lacks any edge and tunes. Extra point deducted for the stupid band name.
Spiritualized
1/5
p692. 1992. 1 star.
Tedious electro space rock. The bastard love child of the Stone Roses and Brian Eno, but without the quality or talent of either. This just goes on and on and on...
The Cramps
3/5
p454. 1980. 3 stars
Surfer/rockabilly/punk hybrid with a love of B-movie tropes and sense of humour. Points deducted for the lack of variety and the redundant covers.
k.d. lang
4/5
p598. 1988. 4 stars.
Strangely alluring country/jazz hybrid, matched with a fabulous voice. Terrific production, and it rarely strays into yee-haw. Perfect late evening music.
The Modern Lovers
2/5
p356. 1976. 2 stars.
The bastard new wave children of The Velvet Underground.
At the time this was revolutionary - a whole generation realised that if these guys could pick up a guitar and make a record, so could they. Having said that, this hasn't aged well, and it has too much filler - one classic track does not make for an album of essential listening. Additional points deducted for Jonathan Richman's nasal whine.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
2/5
p925. 2009. 2 stars.
Unremarkable power pop with no standout tunes. Perfectly acceptable, but not essential listening in any way.
The Shamen
2/5
p635. 1990. 2.5 stars (3 on a good day).
Decent Brit electro-dance, with a couple of standout tracks. Needs a tab to be fully appreciated. Not essential listening, but worth a spin.
Minutemen
1/5
p526. 1984. 1 star.
Double album of mediocre demos from an average garage band with no tunes. WTF is this doing on the list?
Hot Chip
2/5
p933. 2012. 2 stars.
Insipid Brit electro pop. Well done of its kind, but totally unremarkable, and it definitely outstays its welcome. Not essential listening.
A Tribe Called Quest
2/5
p651. 1990. 2 stars.
Rap/hip-hop, so wrong audience. Well done of its kind but... meh.
Megadeth
1/5
p551. 1986. 1 star.
Tedious generic heavy metal with no redeeming features and a vocalist who can't sing. Additional point deducted for the utterly redundant cover of I Ain't Superstitious. Willie Dixon must be rotating in his grave.
Kraftwerk
3/5
p373. 1977. 3 stars.
The source of every 80s synth/sequencer band that followed. Still sound fresh today, but it does outstay its welcome. Additional point deducted for excessive wankage - no-one needs multiple 6+ minute tracks.
TLC
4/5
p731. 1994. 4 stars.
Classy 90s US R&B done right, and the source of a host of mostly poor imitations (Spice Girls, All Saints, Destiny's Child, Sugababes). To what heights could they have aspired if they hadn't gone bust and burnt down their boyfriend's house?
Pulp
5/5
p766. 1995. 5 stars.
Quality 90s Brit-pop with sharp lyrics, great tunes and a sense of humour. What's not to like?
Nick Drake
4/5
p168. 1969. 4 stars.
Startlingly good Brit folk. Vague echoes of the more melancholy tracks on Love's "Forever Changes", which ain't a bad thing. Point deducted for the occasional production lapse into saccharine.
Steve Winwood
2/5
p469. 1980. 2 stars.
Pros: one of the great white soul voices on show. One great song.
Cons: dated 80s production, and a lot of filler. No-one needs multiple tracks >5+ minutes.
The Cure
1/5
p488. 1982. 1 star.
The Cure make great singles, but this is a self indulgent mess of noise. Avoid.
The Dandy Warhols
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 1997. 3 stars.
Album 500 from the list. American Oasis wannabees. Starts off well but gets flabby in the second half. Points deducted for excessive wankage - no-one needs multiple 5 minute+ tracks.
Miriam Makeba
3/5
p51. 1960. 3 stars.
Fantastic voice, let down by dated production and a peculiar choice of material. Bonus point for the children's classic One More Dance.
Aerosmith
2/5
p625. 1989. 2 stars.
Overblown, sex obsessed,big haired cock rock with some decent tunes and NPC lyrics. Well done of its kind but definitely not essential.
Badly Drawn Boy
2/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2000. 2 stars.
Inoffensive and mostly forgettable collection of what sounds like Crowded House outtakes. Definitely not essential listening.
Pere Ubu
1/5
p396. 1978. 1 star.
Unpleasant, pointless abstract noodling. Absolutely no reason for anyone to waste time on this. On the plus side, it's short.
PJ Harvey
1/5
p715. 1993. 1 star.
Not her best work by any means. Raw, shouty girl rock with no tunes. She improved as she got older.
Magazine
2/5
p407. 1978. 2 stars.
Limp post punk, saved from one star by "Shot By Both Sides".
Pink Floyd
4/5
p302. 1973. 4 stars.
The only hippies you can trust. Does meander a bit though.
Fiona Apple
2/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2020. 2 stars.
Strong voice let down by a lack of standout tunes, and poor quality control - judicious editing on the length of most of the songs and unnecessary "extras" like dogs barking would have swung this to a 3. And when she realises that a song might contain more than one repeated verse, she could be quite good.
Lupe Fiasco
1/5
p908. 2006. 1 star.
Hip-hop/rap with strings and brass sections. Well done of its kind, but wrong audience. Will not listen to it again.
Simple Minds
3/5
p491. 1982. 3 stars.
Quality 80s synth pop/rock with decent songs and vocalist. Point deducted for straying into wankage once too often - nobody need multiple 5 minute+ tracks.
The Louvin Brothers
3/5
p26. 1956. 3 stars.
The primeval ancestor of Nick Cave's "Murder Ballads".
Most C&W songs are about jail, cars, trains, a dog, your partner cheating on you, or drinking. The only thing missing from this album is a song about a man who breaks out of jail, steals a truck, drives over a railway line, hits his dog on his way home, finds his wife in bed with his brother AND his sister, and then goes to a bar to get shitfaced.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
3/5
p852. 1999. 3 stars.
Dated dad rock. A handful of great tracks on this, and on the plus side none of them outstay their welcome. There's a lot of filler though.
Siouxsie And The Banshees
4/5
p472. 1981. 4 stars.
The only Goth rock album you need. Have to be in the right mood for it though.
Amy Winehouse
4/5
p910. 2006. 4 stars.
Not her very best work - see "Frank" for that - but it's still brilliant work from one of the very best voices and songwriters of the early millennium. Point deducted for the intrusive production and the occasional filler.
The KLF
4/5
p672. 1991. 4 stars.
THE early 90s dance/trance/rave album. Still sounds wonderful today. The first half is faultless. Point deducted for excessive wankage ("No More Tears") on the 2nd half.
For those of you who can't find it on Spotify:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjqb9_OEySY
Kudos to Dimitris Dimakis for sharing :)
Paul Revere & The Raiders
2/5
p91. 1966. 2 stars.
Uninspiring Byrds and Monkees hybrid. Perfectly adequate without being the least bit essential.
Michael Jackson
3/5
p443. 1979. 3 stars.
Before he went weird and starting re-organising his face, Michael Jackson was a bona fide contender for the future of disco and R&B. Some great tunes, great vocals, wonderful production. Points deducted for excessive filler on the second side. Probably just edges Thriller as his best work.
Still a bit uneasy about giving 3 stars to a kiddy fiddler.
Ash
3/5
p795. 1996. 3 stars.
Lightweight Northern Irish Oasis wannabees with some decent tunes, let down by excessive guitar wankage, filler and limp vocals.
Barry Adamson
3/5
p624. 1989. 3 stars.
Strangely alluring soundtrack without a film. Echoes of film noir, British gangster films and Twin Peaks. Points deducted for outstaying its welcome. Not everyone's cup of tea, but I enjoyed it.
The Zutons
2/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2004. 2 stars.
Well done but average band produces well done but average music. Why is this on the list?
James Taylor
2/5
p216. 1970. 2 stars.
The source of an entire generation of 1970s male middle of the road singer/songwriters. There are a handful of standout songs (Sweet Baby James, Fire and Rain) and decent guitar picking, but it lacks any sense of excitement and there is a LOT of bland filler. On the plus side, it's short.
The Stooges
3/5
p310. 1973. 3 stars.
Primeval roots of punk with vocal nods to Jim Morrison and Jagger before he became old and flabby. Short, sweet and on point. Points deducted for lack of standout tunes, ropey lyrics and letting themselves down with excessive wankage on the last track.
Britney Spears
1/5
Not in my edition of the book! 1999. 1 star.
If you eat an entire bag of fairground candyfloss, you might enjoy it at the beginning, but after a while your teeth start screaming and at the end you feel vaguely embarrassed with yourself for having eaten it all.
Listening to this album, I enjoyed it at the beginning, but after a while my ears started bleeding and at the end I was vaguely embarrassed at having listened to an entire Britney Spears album.
Neil Young
3/5
p346. 1975. 3 stars.
Bit of a mixed bag, this one - a lot of filler, and possibly his worst vocal performance ever on "Mellow My Mind." With better quality control this could easily have been a 4. Still worth a listen.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2019. 3 stars.
Not his best work. Powerful? Yes. Essential listening? No.
Venom
3/5
p498. 1982. 3 stars.
Motorhead wannabees with an interest in demons, satanism and horror. Once you realise this is a Spinal Tap parody it's quite amusing. Prefer the Justin Bieber cover of "Don't Burn The Witch" though.
Cee Lo Green
1/5
p898. 2004. 1.5 stars.
Egotistical, misogynistic, foul mouthed crap. 20 years on and this already sounds dated. Bonus star for the classy horn section.
John Grant
5/5
p929. 2010. 5 stars.
Fabulous collection of songs covering desire, self loathing and broken relationships. Great voice, sharp lyrics and stripped down production. And the title track is possibly the greatest breakup song ever written.
Black Sabbath
5/5
p202. 1970. 5 stars.
The only heavy metal album you need. Not a weak track on it, and it still sounds fresh today.
Tom Tom Club
3/5
p482. 1981. 3 stars.
Average early 80s disco/dance/rap. Well done of its kind, and excellent production, but not essential listening.
Rod Stewart
3/5
p242. 1971. 3 stars.
Peculiar blend of pub rock, folk and 60s Brit blues. Doesn't always work, but when it does it's splendid. Points deducted for redundant covers, and lyrically it hasn't dated well.
Beatles
4/5
p66. 1964. 4.5 stars.
Loveable moptops set the gold standard for early Brit 60's pop. It's packed with classics and standards. Half a point deducted for the one filler ("When I Get Home"), but other than that it's home runs all the way.
The Good, The Bad & The Queen
2/5
Not in my edition of the book. 2007. 2 stars.
Sounds like a Blur album. Great if you like Blur, which I don't. Well done but no standout tracks. Is it me or does Damon Albarn always sound like he has a bad sinus infection?
Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five
4/5
p486. 486. 4 stars.
Not a fan of hip-hop/rap, but this hits a sweet spot. It's dated well, doesn't outstay its welcome and contains one stone cold classic in the title track. Point deducted for the worrying homoerotic "tribute" to Steve Wonder.
Silver Jews
3/5
p871. 2001. 3 stars.
C&W based REM wannabee. Lyrically sharp, but no standout tunes and the vocalist sounds like they just took Prozac. On the plus side, it doesn't outstay its welcome.
UB40
2/5
p468. 1980. 2 stars.
Soulless Brit faux reggae that outstays its welcome. Far too smooth and saxophone laden, it has multiple +6 minutes tracks, redundant covers and direct pilfering (the verse melody of "Burden of Shame" is a direct steal of Van Morrison's "Moondance"). Saved from one star by the hit singles.
Motörhead
2/5
p474. 1981. 2 stars.
Not a fan of live albums, although this one does manage to capture the raw energy of Motorhead on top form. Starts off with a classic and then goes downhill from there. Stick with the studio albums.
Supergrass
4/5
p816.1997. 4 stars
Sounds a collection of quality discards from the 60s - Small Faces, Kinks, Stones. Still fresh nearly 20 years on.
Can
1/5
p293. 1973. 1 star.
70s ambient jazz-rock with multiple 8+ minute tracks and a 19+ minute monstrosity to end with. Fuck no.
Previous collaborations between Germany and Japan did not end well either.
Taylor Swift
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2020. 3 stars.
Sounds like Lana Del Rey's younger cousin, even down to some of the vocal phrasing. Decent tunes, sharp lyrics, but it does seem over emotionally wrought and veers dangerously into teenage girl poetry at times.
Stevie Wonder
4/5
p304. 1973. 4 stars.
Now we're talking. Stevie's best album, packed with great tunes and sharp lyrics, and it doesn't outstay its welcome. 1 point docked for the dated synths and occasional lapse into 70s wankage on a couple of tracks.
Method Man
1/5
Not in my edition of the book! 1994. 1 star.
(C)Rap. Tedious, dated, misogynistic, obnoxious, foul-mouth rubbish. Give it another 50 years and people will wonder why anyone ever wanted to listen to it.
Le Tigre
4/5
Not in my edition of the book! 1999. 4 stars.
The cynical granddaughters of The Go-Gos. Great tunes, angry vocals, cynical lyrics. Point deducted for filler on the last couple of tracks.
The Go-Go's
3/5
p473. 1981. 3 stars.
Prototype Bangles, but without the harmonies. Outside of the singles, there's a lot of filler. Credit for opening the door for every other girl band writing their own material that followed.
Eurythmics
2/5
p512. 1983. 2 stars.
Not their best work by any means - see "be Yourself Tonight", "Revenge" and "Savage" for that - and outside of the singles there's a lot of filler and half baked songs that outstay their welcome. Set against that, we've got excellent production and THAT voice.
Randy Newman
4/5
p333. 1974. 4 stars.
American satire at it's finest, with lyrics as sharp as a stiletto, and some great tunes. Guaranteed to cause offence. Strange that you can tune into any radio and hear rappers talk about n****s, but you'll never hear "Rednecks" played.
Marianne Faithfull
5/5
p437. 1979. 5 stars.
How to grow old disgraceful. Fabulous and filthy lyrics, great tunes and production, and that voice sounds as lived in as a favourite cracked leather jacket.
Mj Cole
1/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2000. 1 star.
A double album of tedious 5 minute+ samples, rap and electronic beats. Fuck no. Why is this on the list?
A Tribe Called Quest
1/5
p665. 1991. 1 star.
Hip-hop/rap. Every track sounds the same. Tedious beyond belief.
Dr. Octagon
2/5
p774. 1996. 2 stars.
Rap, so wrong audience. It's also a surreal, vulgar and frequently funny mix of porn, B-movie audio tracks and sci-fi geekiness. Weird. Not sure I'll listen to it again, but I'm glad I did.
Happy Mondays
2/5
p644. 1990. 3 stars.
If you were in a field with a thousand other people, completely off your tits on E, then I can imagine this would be a 5 star album. In the cold morning light, this has not aged well - pilfered hooks and bass lines, covers and Shaun Ryder can't sing.
Earth, Wind & Fire
2/5
p353. 1975. 2 stars.
Slick but bland 70s R&B. Completely unmemorable.
Nirvana
4/5
p711. 711. 4 stars.
Well, he knew how to write a riff and tune. The lyrics need work though. Still yards ahead of the rest of the pack.
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2006. 3 stars.
The spiritual grandchildren of Queen circa 1976. Overblown and pretentious, and there is a LOT of filler. Saved from a 2 by a handful of cracking stadium rockers.
The 13th Floor Elevators
3/5
p96. 1996. 3 stars.
Strangely alluring cross between early Stones and LSD infused riffs, with Roky Erikson channelling his inner Mick Jagger. Set against that we have dated production and too much filler.
Nightmares On Wax
1/5
p754. 1995. 1 star.
Music for hipster elevators. Once heard, immediately forgotten.
Slade
4/5
p261. 1972. 4 stars.
Once you get past the platform shoes and flares, you find the spiritual British cousins of Creedence Clearwater Revival. No-nonsense pub rock with one of THE great vocalists. Point deducted for the redundant covers.
Scott Walker
4/5
p188. 1969. 4 stars.
Possibly the most subversive album of the 60s - a collection of seemingly middle of the road arrangements disguising sharp observations on society, the Cold War and emotional fragility. And of course it has THAT voice. 1 star deducted for the lack of standout songs.
Small Faces
1/5
p148. 1968. 1 star.
Self indulgent, pretentious, drug-addled crap. I cannot be doing with the bloody awful Cockernee music hall numbers or Stanley Unwin's gibberish.
"I'll sing you a song with no words and no tune (twiddly-bey)/To sing on your khazi while you suss out the moon, oh yeah". FFS
fIREHOSE
1/5
p613. 1989. 1 star.
A band that desperately wants to be REM but lacks the talent or the songs. On the plus side, it's short.
Public Image Ltd.
1/5
p406. 1978. 1 star.
Puerile, angry 6th form lyrics offset by decent stripped down drum and bass. The only one worth listening to is the title track. And as for the 9+ minute opener - i's like punk never happened, eh John?
King Crimson
1/5
p289. 1973. 1 star.
70s prog-rock wankage. Saved from zero stars by Fripp's guitar work.
Frank Black
1/5
p724. 1994. 1 star.
Average vocals, average songs, average playing. And it's a double album. Who decided this was essential listening?
Jazmine Sullivan
4/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2021. 4 stars.
Quality R&B, sounds like Beyonce's sister. An ideal riposte to all those misogynistic rappers who refer to women as bitches and whores. Point deducted for liberal use of the n* word, which in going to date these tracks soooo badly in about 10 years time.
Jane Weaver
3/5
p946. 2017. 3 stars.
This decade's Goldfrapp. Lovely voice, and an eclectic mix of synth, folk, electro pop and psychedelia. All that's missing are standout tunes.
Prince
3/5
p485. 1982. 3 stars.
Starts off rock hard and ends sadly limp and flaccid. There's not doubt he could write a tune, and was an exceptional musician, but no-one needs a double album of multiple 7+ minute tracks. A bit of judicious editing into a single album and this would have been an easy 5 stars.
The Roots
1/5
p889. 2002. 1 star.
Pretentious, foul mouthed obnoxious (c)rap.
Afrika Bambaataa
1/5
p545. 1986. 1 star.
The genesis of hip-hop, so wrong audience. Bonus point for the pilfering of Kraftwerk, but it's difficult to award anything but 1 star to kiddy fiddlers.
Bill Callahan
1/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2009. 1 star.
Sounds like he's on a significant dose of Prozac. Tedious, pretentious lyrics and no tunes. Bonus point for the string arrangements.
"It's time to put God away". More like time for Bill Callahan to consider another career.
M.I.A.
1/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2005. 1 star.
Hip-hop/rap with a sarf Landan accent. Unbearable. I get the impression she is on the list because she is female, black and British.
Ms. Dynamite
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2002. 3 stars.
Surprisingly good Brit R&B - decent voice, quality production and some decent songs. Lyrically sharp and a slap in the face for the sexist, misogynistic male rappers on the list. Points deducted for filler. And to be honest, it's not essential listening.
Don McLean
3/5
p239. 1971. 3 stars.
Other than the obvious mega hits, this is generic early 70's 'Merican singer-songwriter material. Well done of its kind though, and on the plus side it's short. Point deducted for recycling "Vincent" for "Empty Chairs".
The Smashing Pumpkins
2/5
p706. 1993. 2 stars.
Noisy, shouty Nirvana wannabees without the talent, plus they have a whiny lead vocalist. There's a couple of decent tunes, but it's still a slog to listen all the way through. And no-one needs multiple +5 minute tracks. Pass.
Justin Timberlake
1/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2002. 1 star.
Bland, soulless, white "R&B" that desperately wants to be Michael Jackson but without the tunes. Who the fuck decided this was essential listening?
Kanye West
2/5
p935. 2013. 2 stars.
Rap, so wrong audience. Bonus points for the quality production. Point deducted to balance out the size of his ego.
Goldfrapp
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2008. 3 stars.
Not her best work - see Black Cherry for that - but it's still fine. Gorgeous voice and atmospheric strings, but a lot of the songs do blend into each other. Bonus point for "A&E" which is the best overdose song ever.
The Who
4/5
p227. 1971. 4 stars.
Class 60s act show how to transition to the 70s in style. This is the yardstick against which all 70s rock albums need to be measured. It's not perfect - it gets flabby in the middle - but when it's good (and most of it is) it's brilliant.
Coldcut
2/5
p623. 1989. 2 stars.
Average late 80s background student party music. Starts off with a classic and then descends into aimless sample noodling. Bonus point for "Not Paid Enough".
Not on Spotify so thanks to 3dou for the YouTube link for the full album:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgYhZ5Ennig
Eels
4/5
p780. 1996. 4 stars.
Quality songs on isolation and loneliness, interspersed with a sense of hope and longing. Point deducted for occasional filler.
Killing Joke
2/5
p460. 1980. 2 stars.
Angry, unpleasant noise that goes on for far too long. Bonus point for the quality drumming and bass and the occasional half decent riff.
George Jones
2/5
p332. 1974. 2 stars.
Mostly melancholic yeehaw. Now I need a hard drink. On the plus side, it's short. Then again, so is my hard drink.
Air
2/5
p857. 2000. 2 stars.
Mostly limp, ambient noodling. You will have a more enjoyable experience watching the film.
Fishbone
1/5
p588. 1988. 1 star.
Average American band with no tunes, cover versions and an annoying sound. Fuck no. Why is this on the list?
The Flying Burrito Brothers
2/5
p161. 1969. 2 stars.
Prototype Eagles, but without the standout tunes and a bit too much yeehaw. You can see why it was influential, but it's not my thing.
The Sugarcubes
2/5
p601. 1988. 2 stars.
Icelandic B-52s, but without the songs or humour. And frankly, Bjork's voice gets really annoying after a while.
Talvin Singh
1/5
p837. 1998. 1 star.
On paper, drum and bass with Indian influences sounds like a good idea. In reality, it's just a mis-mash of tedious noise.
Dennis Wilson
2/5
p386. 1977. 2.5 stars.
70s Beach Boys, but with rough vocals and no standout tunes. Fabulous production though.
The Pogues
5/5
p585. 1988. 5 stars.
Absolutely brilliant - possibly the greatest live band ever and one of the great songwriters on absolutely top form. And it has the best Christmas song ever on it. God bless you, Shane and Kirsty.
Sonic Youth
1/5
p652. 1990. 1 star.
Noisy generic Stateside proto grunge that goes on far too long. This would be a far better album if they lost the excessive guitar wankage at the end of most of the tracks.
Ozomatli
1/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2004. 1 star.
Background Latin hip-hop for soulless cocktail parties. Additional point deducted for spending as much time finding the tracks as actually listening to them.
Bob Dylan
3/5
p87. 1966. 3 stars.
Double album, so a point immediately deducted for filler. Another point docked for Dylan's voice which grates, especially on a double album. Bonus point for the quality song writing - lyrically he's light years ahead of the pack, even if it's unclear what the hell he means on most of the tracks - and for The Band. With a bit of editing this would have been an easy 5 star single album.
BTW - isn't it amazing how much a young Dylan looks like Timothee Chalamet? When they create a time machine they should cast him in a biopic of the actor.
Astor Piazzolla
1/5
p573. 1987. 1 star.
Don't like jazz. Don't like vibraphones. Don't like accordions. Don't like live albums. This is live jazz with a vibraphone and an accordion. Fuck no.
And for the reviewer who wrote that we need to understand classic tango, some jazz, but even more so how Piazzolla internalizes the experimental legacy of composers such as Bartok or Stravinsky to enjoy this, and then accuses us all of colonial bias - try not being such a pretentious, condescending, sanctimonious musical snob, "friend". It's music FFS, and you either enjoy it or you don't.
Q-Tip
1/5
p919. 2008. 1 star.
Hip-hop, so wrong audience. Seems well done but... meh. It speaks volumes that the best tracks are those with samples from other artists.
Bauhaus
2/5
p481. 1981. 2 stars.
Average Brit Goth rock. Makes you appreciate Siouxsie and The Banshees. Bonus point for having a sense of humour.
Giant Sand
1/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2000. 1 star.
Dull hipster bar noodling that goes on for far too long, with a vocalist channelling a stoned Lou Reed. Who decided this was essential listening?
James Brown
2/5
p63. 1963. 2 stars.
Not a fan of live albums, especially ones that have overdubbed applause. Good sound, but didn't hit the sweet spot for me.
Nick Drake
4/5
p274. 1972. 4 stars.
Lovely, haunting melodies masking a sense of melancholy and desperation. The perfect soundtrack for a cold grey February morning. And he was a decent guitarist. Point deducted for a lack of standout tunes.
Dexys Midnight Runners
1/5
p490. 1982. 1 star.
Straight up, let me say that I cannot be doing with Kevin Rowland's voice. He has the worst articulation of ANY singer, I can't tell WTF he is singing. And why bother with this mutated horror of Irish fiddles and horns when you can listen to Van Morrison? It just sounds and feels derivative, down to the pretentious album cover.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
5/5
p544. 1986. 5 stars.
A stark reminder of just what he was capable of, and how far he has fallen in recent years. Stiletto sharp lyrics and cracking tunes. Essential Costello listening.
Beatles
2/5
p59. 1963. 2 stars.
Just because something is popular doesn't mean its good. Far too much filler and redundant covers. Saved from 1 star by a handful of Lennon-McCartney classics, plus an honourable mention for the cover of "Money".
Iron Maiden
1/5
p463. 1980. 1 star.
Generic Brit heavy metal. It's Spinal Tap, isn't it? On the plus side, its short.
Marvin Gaye
3/5
p418. 1978. 3 stars (just).
Possibly the greatest breakup album ever, just in time for Valentine's Day 2025 ;) Not his best work, but it's still pretty damn fine, and shows up wannabees like D'Angelo and Craig David for the pretenders they are. Great vocals, fabulous late 70s slick production, let down by too much filler (it's a double album) and a lack of stand out tracks.
Donald Fagen
2/5
p494. 1982. 2 stars.
No denying he can knock out a decent tune, and lyrically he's sharp, and technically it's flawless - but it's also soulless, and veers into hipster bar background noise far too often.
Sugar
3/5
p693.1992. 3 stars.
Well done grunge with REM inflections, but lacking standout tunes. Nothing special.
King Crimson
2/5
p185. 1969. 2 stars.
Technically proficient, pretentious prog rock wankage, with lyrics as fey as a pixie.
Frank Sinatra
4/5
p30. 1956. 4 stars.
The great American songbook, with Frank and Nelson on top form. Absolutely timeless. Point deducted for a lack of any real variety though.
Mylo
1/5
p899. 2004. 1 star.
Tedious background music for hipster bars. It speaks volumes that the best track on it is samples from the hits of two other artists.
Dexys Midnight Runners
1/5
p542. 1985. 1 star.
There are three Dexy's albums on this list, and only one of them deserves to be on it. This isn't it. Sounds like a collection of discarded tracks from "Too-Rye-Ay" that weren't strong enough to make the final cut. Kevin Rowland sounds like he is trying to sing whilst gargling pebbles and being strangled. I just wish someone had finished him off properly. And no-one needs multiple 5+ minute tracks - it's like punk never happened, eh Kev?
Ice Cube
1/5
p648. 1990. 1 star.
(C)rap. Violent, misogynistic, offensive rubbish that seems to go on forever. People will listen to this in 20 years and wonder how it was ever considered acceptable listening.
Sample lyrics:
Motherfucker / Nigga / Fuck a punk / Nigga / Bitches / Nigga / Hoes / Nigga / Fuck you / Nigga / Shit / Nigga / Kick the bitch / Nigga / Bullshit / Nigga / Pussy / Nigga / Slut / Nigga
Repeat ad infinitum
David Crosby
2/5
p222. 1971. 2 stars.
Meandering hippy noodling. Sounds like outtakes from a CSNY album - "sorry Dave, these don't make the final cut." On the plus side, it's short, and has some gorgeous harmonies.
Fatboy Slim
1/5
p774. 1996. 1 star.
More background noise for hipster bars :( Tedious, repetitive loops with no redeeming features. Not essential listening.
Patti Smith
3/5
p348. 1975. 3 stars.
Hugely influential album for punk and a whole generation of female singer/songwriters - but it's not aged well, and there is a LOT of filler. No-one needs multiple 9+ minute tracks.
Super Furry Animals
2/5
p773. 1996. 2 stars.
Average Taff band with half decent tunes and crap lyrics. No need for this to be on the list.
Aimee Mann
2/5
p709. 1993. 2 stars.
Sheryl Crow, but without the tunes. Well done, but not exceptional in any way. Bonus point for "Stupid Thing". Why is this album on the list?
1/5
p822. 1998. 1 star.
A live double album of Bob Dylan's nasal whine. Fuck no. Not one song on this adds anything to the studio versions. The second album is better, but that's not saying much. This is only on the list because of the Judas moment, and that is NOT a good reason to listen to this abomination.
1/5
p839. 1999. 1 star.
Background music for shopping at Ikea. Why is this on the list?
Joanna Newsom
1/5
p912. 2006. 1 star.
I am sure all of us have wondered what the songs from a failed off-Broadway musical with discarded lyrics by Highway 61 era Bob Dylan, sung by an American Bjork and with orchestration by Andrew Lloyd Webber would sound like. It's fucking awful.
Whoever nominated this for essential listening needs to taken outside and given a good kicking. Twice.
The Doors
4/5
p198. 1970. 4 stars.
Now we're talking. One of the great American bands on top form, stripped of most of their 60s hippy flabbiness and back to their blues/rock roots. Point deducted for suspect lyrics.
Flamin' Groovies
3/5
p250. 1971. 3 stars.
Average early 70s US blues/rock garage band. Good fun, but definitely not essential listening. On the plus side, it's short.
Prince
3/5
p567. 1987. 3 stars.
As with all double albums, it's self indulgent, flabby and packed with filler - no-one needs a 9 minute live track. Bit of a shame really, because when it's good it's brilliant. A bit of judicious editing and this would be an easy 5.
Ministry
3/5
p695. 1992. 3 stars
Well done Stateside industrial metal with a sense of humour. Makes you realise just how influential Motorhead were. Points deducted for excessive wankage on multiple tracks.
The Libertines
2/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2004. 2 stars.
Massively hyped up but average Brit pub rock band with a couple of half decent songs. And Pete Doherty can't sing.
Count Basie & His Orchestra
2/5
p31. 1957. 2 stars.
I don't like jazz or big bands, so wrong audience. Seems well done though.
John Cale
4/5
p292. 1973. 4 stars.
Strange but lovely Brit/70s West Coast hybrid with odd lyrics. And it's short.
Coldplay
3/5
p862. 2000. 3 stars.
Proof that just because something sells millions, it's not essential listening. Yes, they can knock out a decent tune, but there is a lot of filler and it becomes bland background noise reallll fast.
Tom Waits
5/5
p694. 1992. 5 stars.
American companion piece to Nick Cave's "Murder Ballads". Sharp lyrics mixed with rage, longing, anger and melancholy. If you can live with the gravel vocals (and I can) this is an easy 5 stars.
Elvis Costello
4/5
p730. 1994. 4 stars
Costello and the Attractions on top form. Cynical, razor sharp lyrics that make you want to take a shower after listening, and some cracking tunes. Point deducted for his voice, which is annoying.
William Orbit
1/5
p722. 1993. 1 star.
"You are in a queue and your call will be handled shortly".
Cue William Orbit. Tedious call centre music from a Moby wannabee without the talent or samples.
"Your call is important to us. Please remain on the line."
Black Sabbath
1/5
p198. 1970. 1 star.
Below par Brit heavy metal with schoolboy lyrics and a naff cover. Like Wyld Stallyns, they got better. Genre defining, possibly. Essential listening, no.
Joan Baez
3/5
p48, 1960. 3 stars.
A wonderful crystal clear voice, and some excellent guitar work - but it's let down by the material, and a lot of the songs tend to just blend into each other.
Echo And The Bunnymen
2/5
p457. 1980. 2 stars.
Barely adequate Scouse New Wave. There are hints of the 13th Story Elevators, which is a good thing, but there's no real variety - once you've heard one track, you've heard 'em all. On the plus side, it's short.
Tangerine Dream
2/5
p323. 1974. 2 stars.
I can see why it was influential, but electronic hippy noodling with 17+ minute tracks tend to leave me cold.
Beyoncé
2/5
p936. 2013. 2 stars.
Well, she's got a great voice and some decent lyrics - but there's no standout tunes, it goes on far too long for what it is, and it's horribly dated.
Slayer
1/5
p554. 1986. 1 star.
Redundant Motorhead wannabees with half decent lyrics. However, there is nothing here that hasn't been done before.
Scissor Sisters
4/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2004. 4 stars.
Quality camp rock, with some brilliantly catchy songs and sharp lyrics. The opening four song sequence is brilliant. Point deducted for filler.
The Temptations
3/5
p177. 1969. 3 stars.
Fine example of late 60s Motown production line soul. Unfortunately Motown was focused on singles, so there is a lot of filler here - and how many covers of "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" does anyone need?
Pulp
4/5
p828. 1988. 4 stars.
An exercise in self disgust that make you want to take a shower after listening. Sharp lyrics, all that's missing are standout tunes.
Songhoy Blues
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2015. 3 stars.
Intriguing African blues band. Well done of its kind, but the tracks do tend to blur into each other. Not sure I'd listen to it again, but glad I did.
Milton Nascimento
2/5
p266, 1972. 2 stars.
Inoffensive Brazilian pop with no redeeming features. Pass.
Bob Marley & The Wailers
3/5
p334. 1974. 3 stars.
Not a fan of reggae, but this is good. Sharp lyrics and fine tunes. Not sure I'd listen to again due to musical preferences, but I can appreciate the impact it must have had.
Blood, Sweat & Tears
1/5
p168. 1969. 1 star.
Music for 70s Las Vegas cabaret. Variations of classical music, jazz noodling, an 11 minute track and farting horns. And the arrangement of And When I Die is an abomination. Fuck no.
The Cult
3/5
p567. 1987. 3 stars.
Brit Guns'N'Roses clone. Points deducted for excessive guitar wankage and redundant covers.
Deee-Lite
1/5
p636. 1990. 1 star.
Proof that one mega hit does not mean this album is essential listening. Bland, insipid 90s dance music that has dated badly.
Sufjan Stevens
3/5
p907. 2005. 3 stars.
Far too long for what it is, but when it's good it's brilliant. Disturbing lyrics and haunting tunes - it's just too flabby. A bit of judicious editing and this could have easily been a 5.
Destiny's Child
2/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2001. 2 stars.
Starts of strong and fades badly into background music for ladies hairdressing salons. Great vocals, but far too long for what it is. It speaks volumes that the best track on it ("Bootylicious") is a straight rip of Stevie Nicks "Edge of Seventeen".
Funkadelic
3/5
p246, 1971. 3 stars.
Weird, but in a good way. Suffers from the usual early 70s wankage on some of the tracks, but there's enough here to keep interest. And guitarist Eddie Hazel is a bit good.
John Lennon
4/5
p200. 1970. 4 stars.
The Gospel of St.John. Very much a mixed bag of primal scouring of the soul and lovesick soppiness, but when it's good it's brilliant.
Red Snapper
1/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2000. 1 star.
"Our Aim Is To Satisfy." Fail.
Tedious electronic sampling with no redeeming features. WTF is this doing on the list?
The Offspring
3/5
p734. 1994. 3 stars.
The bastard love children of Nirvana and Green Day. Shouty punk power pop, lots of energy but lacking standout tunes.
Cypress Hill
1/5
p658. 1991. 1 star..
(C)rap. Foul mouthed, tedious, offensive nursery rhymes about drugs and killing people.
The Stooges
4/5
p189. 1969. 4 stars.
This is what you get if you put early Stones, the 13th Story Elevators and The Doors into a blender. Short, sweet and on point - all it's missing are more standout songs.
Genesis
1/5
p316. 1974. 1 star.
A prime example of pretentious, self indulgent musical and lyrical 70's wankage, all on an excessive double album.
It's shit like this that gets the 70's a bad name.
American Music Club
2/5
p599. 1988. 2 stars.
Inoffensive REM clone without the tunes.
Point deducted for having to go YouTube to find it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUmXZEPwsTE
David Holmes
1/5
p804. 1997. 1 star.
Tedious background music/samples with no redeeming features. WTF is this even doing on the list?
The Birthday Party
2/5
p498. 1982. 2 stars.
Prototype "Grinderman". Probably included because of what Nick Cave went on to do, but this isn't essential listening.
Throwing Muses
2/5
p555. 1986. 2 stars.
Primeval Voice of The Beehive, but without the tunes. Not essential listening.
Stephen Stills
4/5
p199. 1970. 4 stars.
How to transition from the 60s to 70s in style. Quality, understated singer/song writing with fabulous production. Point deducted for occasional 70s guitar wankage.
Hookworms
1/5
p951. 2018. 1 star.
Microshit more like. Bland noise with limp vocals. Zero redeeming features. WTF is this on the list?
Depeche Mode
2/5
p640. 1990. 2 stars.
Dated synths, two decent songs and a LOT of filler do not make essential listening.
The Yardbirds
3/5
p98. 1966. 3 stars.
60s mismash of sub-par songs and bland vocals, saved from a 2 star rating by incendiary guitar work from Jeff Beck. I suspect this one is on the list as a reminder of how good they were as a live act.
Brian Eno
2/5
p337. 1975. 2 stars.
Bland ambient music with awful vocals and lyrics. "I'll tie your shoe". Saved from 1 star by a couple of lovely instrumentals. Next time Brian, no need to sing, eh?
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
4/5
p809. 1997. 4 stars.
Nick Cave moping. Some great songs on this, but there is a lot of filler as well.
Billie Holiday
3/5
p38. 1958. 3 stars.
Wonderful voice and inflection, let down by substandard material and syrupy arrangements. Not her best work, but a good introduction to the talent.
Jack White
5/5
p934. 2012. 5 stars.
Fabulous white blues/rock. Not a weak track on this.
Saint Etienne
2/5
p668. 1991. 2 stars.
Tedious, repetitive 90s Brit electro pop. It speaks volumes that the best track on this is a cover of a Neil Young song. Not essential listening.
The Byrds
4/5
p80. 1965. 4 stars.
The template for folk rock in 31 near-perfect minutes. Still sounds fresh today. Point deducted for the suspect cover of "We'll Meet Again".
Todd Rundgren
3/5
p267. 1972. 3 stars.
70s double album with lots of filler and "look at how clever I am" noodling, so points immediately deducted. On the plus side, when it's good it's fabulous - great songs, sharp lyrics, and he played every instrument. A bit of judicious editing and this would be an easy 5.
Meat Puppets
2/5
p515. 1983. 2 stars.
Some good songs and guitar playing let down by truly dreadful singing.
Metallica
2/5
p548. 1986. 2 stars.
Generic heavy metal, saved from 1 star by some decent riffs. There is nothing here that's hasn't been done better before.
Leonard Cohen
2/5
p243. 1971. 2 stars.
He can't sing, and he can't write a tune. Saved from 1 star by decent lyrics.
Alexander 'Skip' Spence
1/5
p189. 1969. 1 star.
Well, it's in tune, and has some fine guitar work. Apart from that, nothing to recommend it. And it does outstay its welcome REALLL soon.
The Beach Boys
4/5
p76. 1965. 4 stars.
Protype "Pet Sounds" and an almost perfect example of mid 60s West Coast Surf rock. What sets it apart from the rest of the pack is the evolution of Brian Wilson's songwriting from cars and girls to lyrical vulnerability.
Point deducted for the inane chatter that is the final "track". Sometimes, too much pot is not a good thing, guys.
Haircut 100
1/5
p494. 1982. 1 star.
The epitome of bland, crap UK early 80's pop. It's like punk never happened. Every track sounds the same, the lyrics are shite, and that chittering guitar gets annoying REALLL soon. WTF is this doing on the list?
"Is it down to the lake I fear". What's so fucking scary about the lake, eh?
Tina Turner
4/5
p524. 1984. 4.5 stars.
How to make a comeback in style. One of the great voices and live performers on top form, coupled with great songs. Even the covers sound fresh. Half a point deducted dated synths.
As for the album cover: she might have her legs crossed but you can still see Tina Turner's pussy.
2/5
p416. 1978. 2 stars.
Soulless US electro rock. Once heard, immediately forgotten.
Wild Beasts
2/5
p923. 2009. 2 stars.
Decent production and handful of half decent songs do not make for essential listening. And I cannot be doing with one of the singer's squealing falsetto, it makes my ears bleed.
Note to self: if no-one is talking about an album more than 5 years after it came out, it's not essential listening.
Sinead O'Connor
4/5
p650. 1990. 4 stars
Fine voice and arrangement, let down by some filler. Still fabulous after all this time though. Rest in peace, ya lovely mad Irish bitch.
"And I liked it all/Like the times we did it so hard/There was blood on the wall"
Scritti Politti
2/5
p543. 1985. 2 stars.
"Scritti Politti" translates roughly to "political writings" in Italian. It also translates as "dated 80s synths with flaccid vocals". This has not aged well. I cannot imagine any reality where this is essential listening.
Saved from 1 star by the admittedly catchy singles.
Public Enemy
2/5
p604. 1988. 2 stars.
Rap, so wrong audience. Seems well done of its type though.
Justice
1/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2007. 1 star.
Tedious and annoying electronic noodling. Sounds like the background music from early video games. WTF is this shit doing on the list?
Brian Wilson
5/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2004. 5 stars.
One of the great songwriters and arrangers on absolutely top form. We can only imagine what it would have sounded like in 1967 with the Beach Boys in their prime. As it is, it's still pretty damn fine.
This was generated for me to listen to the day after Brian Wilson died. Randomly generated? I think not :)
Beatles
5/5
p84. 1966. 5 stars.
Flawless. Arguably their best album.
The Stooges
2/5
p214. 1970. 2 stars.
Starts off tight and becomes increasingly tedious and flabby as it goes on. No-one needs multiple 6+ minute workouts, not even Iggy, who is channelling his inner Jim Morrison on this. On the plus side, the entire album is short.
Bob Marley & The Wailers
3/5
p375. 1977. 3 stars.
Reggae. so wrong audience. On the plus side, some classic tunes. Just doesn't do it for me.
"I don't like reggae/oh no"
The Charlatans
1/5
P785. 1996. 1 star.
Poor man's Oasis without the tunes or the talent. Not much to like here.
Pixies
3/5
p595. 1988. 3 stars.
Proto Nirvana. Needs works on the lyrics. Some decent tunes. Good, but not exceptional.
Everything But The Girl
2/5
p588. 1988. 2 stars.
UK k.d.laing clone. Bland background music for late 80's cocktail bars, complete with cheesy sax. Shame really, because there are a couple of half decent songs on here - it's just missing any sense of excitement.
1/5
p478. 1981. 1 star.
Average garage band with average songs. There are zero reasons why this should be considered essential listening. On the plus side, it's short.
Siouxsie And The Banshees
2/5
p422. 1978. 2 stars.
70's Goth/punk template. Influential, but let down by too much filler and dreadful production - it sounds like it was recorded in a mud bath. And no-one needs 6+ minute tracks.
Peter Gabriel
2/5
p455. 1980. 2 stars.
Not his best work by any means, far too much filler to make this a repeat listen. Saved from 1 star by the handful of decent songs and one hit. He got better as he went on.
Alice Cooper
3/5
p308. 1973. 3 stars.
Early 70s shock rock, badly dated but saved from obscurity by a handful of decent singles. How easily offended we all were in our youth ;)
Anthrax
2/5
p563. 1987. 2 stars.
This is what you get if you cross Motorhead with Iron Maiden. Well done of its kind, but there is nothing here that hasn't been done before and better.
Cheap Trick
2/5
p440. 1979. 2 stars.
The musical equivalent of winning the lottery. Average US band with average songs somehow sells 3 million copies with a live album. WTF.
The Teardrop Explodes
1/5
p468. 1980. 2 star.
This has not aged well. Average songs and dreadful lyrics. One great song ("Reward") but that's it.
Pink Floyd
4/5
p441. 1979. 4 stars.
An odyssey of fear and self loathing. Great songs, sharp lyrics and fabulous guitar work. The only double album you need. Point deducted for straying into rock theatre.
The Blue Nile
1/5
p508.
Bland background music for expensive hi-fi systems. Once heard, immediately forgotten.
The Velvet Underground
1/5
p172. 1969. 1 star.
Mostly average 60s songs from a mostly average 60s band. You can see why it didn't sell at the time. Reduced from 2 stars to 1 because of the abomination that is "The Murder Mystery".
Love
5/5
p109. 1967. 5 stars.
The only hippies you can trust. Arguably the greatest album of the Summer of Love.
David Ackles
1/5
p271. 1972. 1 star.
This is what you get if you splice Randy Newman on an off day with Neil Diamond. There are a couple of lovely songs, but there is too much filler that strays into sub-par musical theatre far too often.
Thelonious Monk
1/5
p32. 1957. 1 star.
Just because someone is technically proficient does not mean they produce good music. It's jazz, its tedious, and it's got a xylophone FFS. Hard pass from me.
Tim Buckley
2/5
p272, 1972. 2 stars.
Startlingly good voice, let down by average songs and the usual early 70s excessive song length. There's a reason it didn't sell well. Also, the lyrics to "Devil Eyes" suggest he may be covering for performance issues.
"She's gonna beat me, whip me, spank me". Typical Saturday night out in Stoke, then.
The National
1/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2010. 1 star.
Tedious dirges. Dull dull dull. WTF is this doing on the list?
U2
4/5
p671. 1991. 4 stars.
Bono might be a pretentious wanker, but in their prime U2 were arguably one of the greatest bands ever. This is packed with fabulous songs, let down occasional lapses into Bono fuelled hysterics.
Black Sabbath
3/5
p257. 1972. 3 stars.
Well done but generic 70s heavy metal. Not their best work.
As for random generation of albums - this came up the day after Ozzy Osbourne died. Coincidence? I think not ;)
John Lee Hooker
5/5
p608. 1989. 5 stars.
Damn. I love me some blues, and it doesn't get better than this. Not a weak track on this.
Elliott Smith
4/5
p817. 1997. 4 stars.
Came cold to this and was pleasantly surprised. Sharp lyrics, and some lovely guitar playing. All that's missing are standout tunes. On the replay list.
The Divine Comedy
1/5
p810. 1997. 1 star.
Not as clever or as funny as it thinks it is. There is something about Neil Hannon and his annoying faux-Scott Walker vocals that makes me want to punch him every time he opens his mouth. On the plus side it's short.
Frankie Goes To Hollywood
3/5
p516. 1984. 3 stars.
Oh dear. This has not aged well. Point immediately deducted for it being a double album. Far too much filler - redundant covers, and multiple 5+ minute tracks, including a monstrous 13+ minute abomination. It does feel like Trevor Horn saying "hey! Look how clever I am!".
Set against that we have Holly Johnson's wonderfully sinister voice, fabulous production and some classic 80s singles. If this had been a single album, it would have been an easy 5 stars.
Joni Mitchell
3/5
p357. 1976. 3 stars.
A prime example of 70s West Coast singer/song writing. Fabulous lyrics and an achingly lovely voice, let down by sleek over production, 6+ minute tracks and a lack of standout tunes.
Underworld
1/5
p790. 1996. 1 star.
90s techno. Tedious beyond belief. Hard pass.
Sonic Youth
1/5
p600. 1988. 1 star.
Average garage band with average songs spreads what little talent they have too thinly over 70 minutes of discordant noise. Neither important or influential. Don't believe the hype.
Neneh Cherry
3/5
p617. 1989. 3 stars.
Some cracking tunes here, and it sounds fresh 30 years on. At the time, there was nothing quite like it. Having said that, not my thing, hence 3 stars.
Orange Juice
2/5
p495. 1982. 2 stars.
Jaunty 80s Scottish pop, hindered by a frontman with limited vocal range and swamped by filler. Bits of this are quite good, but not enough of it to warrant 3 stars.
Bon Jovi
3/5
p552. 1986. 3 stars.
The epitome of 80s US stadium pop rock. Perfectly acceptable as long as you don't take it too seriously. Points deducted for dated synths and shiny plastic production.
Roni Size
1/5
Not in my edition of the book! 1997. 1 star.
No-one needs multiple 5+ minute drum and bass tracks, including a 9+ minute monstrosity. Fucking awful. Who decided this was essential listening, and can we beat them to death?
Buffalo Springfield
4/5
p103. 1967. 4 stars.
Protoype CSNY, which ain't a bad thing. Almost perfect Summer of Love album, packed with fabulous harmonies and songs. Point docked for Broken Arrow, which frankly is a bit of downer.
Slint
1/5
p670. 1991. 1 star.
Early 90s Nirvana wannabees without talent or songs. Every song is 5+ minutes long. The "vocalist" doesn't sing, he talks or mutters or screeches. This didn't sell at the time, and you can hear why. WTF thought this was essential listening?
The Mars Volta
2/5
p893. 2003. 2 stars.
Poor man's Muse. Points immediately deducted for being prog rock and multiple 6+ minute tracks including a 12+ minute abomination. Well done of its kind but goes on far too long.
The Beach Boys
4/5
p234. 1971. 4 stars.
Parts of this have not aged well, and several of the tracks stray into faux eco-hippy nonsense - but when it's good, its brilliant.
It is 32 degrees in the UK, clear blue skies, and this is the almost perfect soundtrack to a lovely day.
Pixies
4/5
p626. 1989. 4 stars.
Innovative garage/grunge, with decent tunes. On the replay list.
Miles Davis
1/5
p165.1969. 1 star.
Just because something is technically proficient does not mean it is worthwhile listening. This is the perfect case example.
I wish he had produced this in a silent way.
Bruce Springsteen
4/5
p408. 1978. 4 stars.
The soundtrack of late 70's, post Vietnam America in economic decline. The second half flags a bit, but this still great work. And it has the quintessential Springsteen song in "Racing In The Streets".
Les Rythmes Digitales
1/5
p848. 1999.
A double album of mediocre 80s influenced dance music. Fuck no.
The Divine Comedy
1/5
p780. 1996. 1.5 stars.
I always feel I should like the Divine Comedy, but there is something about the oh-so-clever lyrics and Neil Hannon's smug faux Scott Walker voice that makes me want to slap him with a wet kipper. Saved from 1 star by the theme from Father Ted.
Speaking of comedy, how does Neil Hannon get two albums on this list and The Cranberries get none?
Supergrass
4/5
p761. 1995. 4 stars.
Fabulous mid 90s energetic Brit pop, packed with great tunes, sharp lyrics and a sense of humour.
Beth Orton
2/5
p844. 1999. 2 stars.
Lovely voice, but bland material. Not essential listening.
Goldfrapp
2/5
p868, 2000. 2 stars.
Great voice, but not her best work by any means. Strays into weirdness far too often for repeated listening.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
2/5
p438. 1979. 2 stars.
Occasional glimpse of brilliance swamped by filler and lacklustre tunes. Still sharp lyrically, but not sure why this on the list.
Electric Light Orchestra
3/5
p376. 1977. 3 stars.
A 70s double album, so points immediately deducted, and the falsetto vocals don't help. I've always thought there is something vaguely artificial and passionless about Jeff Lynne - he so desperately wants to be The Beatles, this album is almost a parody. Having said that, there are some fabulous pop songs on here - it just outstays its welcome.
Wilco
3/5
p781. 1996. 3 stars.
Alt-country rock. It's a double album, so one point immediately deducted for outstaying its welcome. Bit of a shame really, as there are some great songs on here. A bit of judicious editing and this could easily be a 4.
Snoop Dogg
1/5
p720. 1993. 1 star.
(C)rap. Dated, puerile, misogynistic, offensive rubbish straight from the gutter. People will listen to this in 20 years time and wonder how on earth it was ever allowed to be released.
Sample lyrics: muthafucker/bitch/nigga/hoe/muthafucker/dick/nigga/fuck/muthafucker/nigga. Repeat ad infinitum and you too can be a best selling rapper.
Paul Simon
5/5
p555. 1986. 5 stars.
One of the best albums of the 80s. Not a weak track on this, and Under African Skies might be the finest thing he's ever written.
And as for those sad fucks who condemn Paul Simon for cultural appropriation and breaking the apartheid ban in place at the time: Nelson Mandela supported the Graceland project and met with him during Simon's visit to South Africa in the mid-1980s. Mandala recognised the importance of Simon's invitation to tour South Africa and the album's success in raising global awareness of the country's music and culture. An inconvenient truth, eh?
Gary Numan
2/5
P445.1979. 2 stars.
Late 70s Brit electro pop. Not as painful as expected, and still surprisingly fresh. Set against that, a lot of the songs sound the same ("Observer" is almost a clone of "Cars") plus he's got an annoying voice.
System Of A Down
2/5
p821. 1998. 2 stars.
Schizophrenic 90s US metal rock that veers between irritating and unpleasant shouty heavy metal and quite good songs ("Spiders").
Charles Mingus
1/5
p63. 1963. 1 star.
Jazz :( sounds like the soundtrack to a bad late 1950s British gangster film. Technically proficient but... meh.
The Band
2/5
p150. 1968. 2 stars.
Average band with average songs plays as backing group for Dylan and gets famous. Not much to like here - mostly rock/folk noodling with no tunes, thin whiny vocals, and they manage to fek up all of the Dylan contributions. Saved from 1 star by "The Weight".
Dwight Yoakam
2/5
p602. 1988. 3 stars.
Mid 80s yeehaw. Well done but outstays its welcome after about 10 mins. Probably best listened to when shit faced in a mid-West bar.
Solange
2/5
p945. 2016. 2 stars.
Bland Gen Z US soul. Well done of its kind, but eminently forgettable. Once heard, never remembered.
Blondie
4/5
p398. 1978. 4.5 stars.
Lovely American New Wave that still sounds fresh today. Packed with hits, point deducted for occasional filler and the aberration that is the chorus on "Just Go Away".
Massive Attack
4/5
p742. 1994. 4 stars.
Excellent chillout album. All that's missing is a sense of excitement.
Orbital
2/5
Not in my edition of the book! 1993. 2 stars.
Well done electronica, but after initial interest a lot of the tracks sound the same. And no-one needs multiple 7 minute+ tracks.
My Bloody Valentine
1/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2013. 1 star.
Trashy Brit guitar noise with no tunes. And it sounds like it was recorded in an underwater garage. This actually hurt my ears. Fucking awful. Someone shoot the sound engineer. And save some bullets for the band.
Common
1/5
p871. 2000. 1 star.
(C)rap. Well done of its kind, but let down by the usual obnoxious sexist, homophobic language. It's far too long - points deducted for multiple tracks 5+ minute tracks. And 20 years on this sounds soooo dated.
Robbie Williams
3/5
p814. 1997. 3 stars.
Proof (if it were needed) that (a) Robbie Williams was a singles artist and (b) owed much of his success to Guy Chambers. Having said that, it's got some sharp lyrics, and as a debut album it's a strong start.
Gorillaz
1/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2001. 1 star.
Blur outtakes. Fine if you like Damon Albarn, which I don't. One can only hope he sticks to collecting fossils instead of producing inexplicably popular shit like this.
Nico
1/5
p99. 1967. 1 star.
Droning German chanteuse meets 60's folk, strings and a flute. OK for two songs and outstays its welcome after that.
Beck
4/5
p776. 1006. 4 stars.
Inventive theft of samples used to enhance some great songs. Point deducted for filler and outstaying its welcome.
Sparks
3/5
p324. 1974. 3 stars.
Exotic 70s glam rock with sly humour and fabulous guitar work. Starts off brilliantly but then flags badly as it runs out of ideas.
Gang Starr
1/5
p659. 1991. 1.5 stars.
Rap/hip-hop, so wrong audience. All the tracks sound the same. Bonus half point for not using the usual misogynist hateful language most 90s rappers use.
Bad Brains
1/5
p559. 1986. 1 star.
Tedious garage band with no tunes and vile lyrics. WTF decided this was essential listening?
The Vines
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2002. 3 stars.
Rather good Aussie garage rock. Starts off shouty and then reveals some decent vocals and tunes. Missing standout songs though.
Ride
1/5
p654. 1990. 1 star.
Tedious indie guitar driven noise that desperately wants to be the Stone Roses, but lack the songs or the talent. And at 1hr 15mins it outstays its welcome big time. Utterly forgettable. WTF chose this for the list?
p249. 1971. 2 stars.
Well done pub rock with some decent songs but also unnecessary covers. I suspect this is on the list as a reminder of what a great live act they were.
Aerosmith
5/5
p340. 1975. 5 stars.
Before they became washed up drug addled parodies, Aerosmith were genuine contenders. This is excellent - great riffs, great guitar work, great voice and some great songs. To what heights could they have aspired if they hadn't snorted away all that talent.
The Beta Band
2/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2001. 2 stars.
Well produced but tedious meandering background music for hipster bars. WTF is this bland shite doing on the list?
The Darkness
2/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2003. 2 stars.
Generic and faintly ridiculous Brit glam rock. Justin Hawkins may become a good singer once his balls drop.
Tori Amos
5/5
p696. 1992. 5 stars.
American Kate Bush, but that ain't a bad thing. Razor sharp and frequently harrowing lyrics, great songs and vocals. Not a weak track on this,
The Slits
2/5
p437. 1979. 2 stars.
Late 70s white girl reggae/punk fusion. Adequate but not outstanding in any way. I guess this is a token entry for being female AND reggae.
Coldplay
3/5
p884. 2002. 3 stars.
Inoffensive millennium Brit stadium rock. They know how to knock out a catchy tune, I'll give them that. On the other hand, it's all a bit bland and soulless.
Lambchop
2/5
p866. 2000. 2 stars.
Boring background music for hipster bars, saved from 1 star by decent lyrics. Once heard, immediately forgotten.
David Bowie
3/5
p288. 1973. 3 stars.
Not his best work, with obvious pilfering from Muddy Waters and BB King, and a redundant Stones cover. Still better than the average 70s album.
Def Leppard
2/5
p566. 1987. 2 stars.
Aerosmith lite. Generic stadium rock with a couple of decent songs. Pass.
Laibach
2/5
p578. 1987. 2 stars.
German opera-rock. Amusing for a couple of tracks, then becomes tedious.
Soft Machine
1/5
p209. 1970. 1 star
Oh dear. Four 18+ minute tracks of jazz-prog rock fusion. No.
Circle Jerks
2/5
p461. 1980. 2.5 stars.
3 years behind the curve. Shouty American punk, well done but dated even at the time.
The Jam
4/5
p402. 1978. 4 stars.
The 70s children of The Kinks. Some fabulous songs and mostly great lyrics. Point deducted for filler and some frankly embarrassing 6th form standard poetry.
And it has possibly the most terrifying lyric in any song:
"I glanced back on my life and thought about my wife/
'Cause they took the keys, and she'll think it's me"
AC/DC
2/5
p424.1979. 2.5 stars
Proof that one classic song does not make for a good album. Apart from the opener it's average Aussie rock. And the content of some of the songs like Night Prowler have not aged well. 3 stars on a good day, 2 on a bad.
Stan Getz
2/5
p64. 1963. 2 stars.
Dreary Latin jazz. Saved from 1 star by "The Girl From Ipanema" (45rpm single version, not the droning album version) and the fabulously named drummer, Milton Banana.
Jefferson Airplane
4/5
p120. 1967. 4 stars.
Rather fabulous American 60s folk rock. The star of the show is Grace Slick - great voice, great songs. Point deducted for "My Best Friend" which is so saccharine it makes my teeth ache.
The Young Rascals
3/5
p119. 1967. 3 stars.
Classy 60's Stateside blue eyed soul, intercut with some pop gems. Lightweight, but quality.
LTJ Bukem
1/5
p790. 1996. 1 star.
From the Introduction of my edition of the book:
"Well, you won't find compilations or soundtracks by 'various artists' in this book." - Robert Dimery
And here we have a compilation of drum'n'bass tracks by 'various artists'.
It would have been a straight 1 star just for that, but its also fucking awful repetitive noise and multiple 7+ minute tracks. Not going to lie, I didn't finish this one off. WTF lets shit like this on to the list?
Big Star
4/5
p405. 1978. 4 stars.
Fabulous late 70s missing link between The Beatles and Crowded House. Gorgeous songs, sharp lyrics and a sense of melancholy. Point deducted for filler, but definitely on the replay list.
Lou Reed
3/5
p293. 1973. 3 stars.
Strange and disturbing orchestra-rock. Not easy listening, and some very dark lyrics. Not sure i would listen to it again, but I'm glad I've heard it.
Holger Czukay
1/5
p427. 1979. 1 star.
4 tracks of samples, synths and ambient "music", including two 13+ minute monstrosities. Horribly dated and irrelevant. WTF is this doing on the list?
Cowboy Junkies
2/5
p593. 1988. 2 stars.
Starts off well and descends quickly into a country and western snoozefest. I nearly fell asleep whilst driving listening to this.
The Chemical Brothers
2/5
p757. 1995. 2 stars.
Rating if you were in a field attending a rave on a warm summer night in 1995, totally off your tits on E: 5 stars.
Rating at any other time or place: 2 stars.
Eagles
2/5
p271. 1972. 2.5 stars.
Perfectly acceptable but bland 70s US West Coast country/rock. They got better once Joe Walsh joined the band. Rounded down to a 2 as I am unlikely to listen to this again.
Hawkwind
1/5
p292. 1973. 1 star.
If you want an example of how bad music was in the early 70s, look no further than this double live album of pretentious hippy-trippy wankage. Saved from zero stars by some thunderous bass lines from Lemmy. And it goes on for 132 minutes. Not going to lie, listened to the first album and quit. Life is too short to waste on shit like this.
Billy Joel
4/5
p374. 1977. 4 stars.
Always felt a bit sorry for Billy Joel - his breakthrough album, all late 70s shiny production, strings and saxophone, came out just as punk appeared. Shame, because there are some fine songs here. Points deducted for the smooth shiny sheen and the occasional lapse into musical theatre, but bonus point for "She's Always A Woman".
Rufus Wainwright
2/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2003. 2 stars.
This is what you get if you splice the DNA of Michael Buble, Robbie Williams and early Billy Joel. Cracking voice, but let down by substandard songs. Not essential listening.
Baaba Maal
2/5
p618. 1989. 2 stars.
Laid back African folk-rock. Interesting to listen to for a couple of tracks then every song blends into the next. Glad I heard it but will but not listen to it again.
Grateful Dead
1/5
p183. 1969.
A late 60s live album of hippy trippy jazz/rock noodling with no track under 6 minutes and including a 23+ minute monstrosity. Fuck no.
New York Dolls
2/5
p312. 1973. 2 stars.
Primeval roots of punk rock. Lots of energy but sadly lacking quality songs.
Bill Evans Trio
1/5
p53. 1961. 1 star
Jazz :( Background music for cocktail bars. Well played but... meh.
"Nice"
Ali Farka Touré
2/5
p909. 2006. 2 stars.
Well done African blues-folk hybrid, but overly repetitive and missing standout songs. Didn't do anything for me.
Leftfield
2/5
p768. 1995. 2.5 stars.
Well produced mid-90s dance album, best listened to in a field whilst off your tits on E. Tends to drag on a bit though. 3 on a good day, 2 on a bad.
Bobby Womack
2/5
p482. 1981. 2 stars.
Sub-par Marvin Gaye clone. Starts off cheesy and improves slightly as he warms up. Great voice, let down by weak material.
Motörhead
4/5
p458. 1980. 4 stars.
Now we're talking. One of the best rock'n'roll bands ever, and the source of every thrash metal wannabee that came after. Tight as a drum, still sounds fresh today and doesn't outstay its welcome on any of the tracks. Point deducted for some suspect lyrics that haven't aged well ("Jailbait").
Daft Punk
2/5
p812. 1997. 2 stars.
Well produced but tedious 90s electro/dance music. Background music for nightclub scenes in any post 2000 B movie.
10cc
3/5
p330. 1974. 3 stars.
The bastard love children of The Beatles and The Mothers of Invention. Quality 70s pop/rock with sharp lyrics, but points deducted for filler and being far too clever for their own good.
Big Black
2/5
p535. 1986. 2 stars.
Shouty garage rock with a drum machine, caustic lyrics and no tunes. Saved from 1 star for decent bass lines.
The Young Gods
2/5
p614. 1989. 2 stars.
Evidence, if it were needed, that the French can't rock. It sounds like hybrid between Meatloaf and Phantom of the Opera. In French. Nope.
LCD Soundsystem
1/5
p914. 2007. 1 star.
Hideous hybrid of Heaven 17 and The Human League, but without the talent or the songs. And nobody needs multiple tedious 7+ minute tracks this millennium.
Fela Kuti
3/5
p248. 1971. 3 stars.
Well done African-rock hybrid. Production and playing as tight as a drum. Points deducted for being a live album, and for excessive wankage - do we really need multiple 10+ minute tracks?
Not sure I'll listen to it again, but glad I heard it.
SAULT
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2020. 3 stars.
Pretty contemptible to see so many bigoted dipshit upvotes, though not, I suppose, surprising. This album caught a certain category of listener right in their black supremacy complex, didn't it?
Decent drum machine and synth soul with great vocals. Points deducted for trying too hard with its "black is beautiful" message - imagine the reaction if a white band had put out an album with similar sentiments.
Queen Latifah
1/5
p612. 1989. 1.5 stars.
Badly dated, repetitive, late 80s rap. On the plus side it's not foul mouthed and has some decent samples, which just make you want to listen to the original track.
The B-52's
2/5
p427. 1979. 2 stars.
This is what you get if you splice Devo with Blondie. Quirky US New Wave, but too much filler for repeated listening. On the plus side, it's short and contains one bona fide classic (Rock Lobster).
Echo And The Bunnymen
2/5
p510. 1983. 2 stars.
The bastard Scouse children of The Doors. Starts off brightly but fizzles out really quickly. And it's fucking miserable.
GZA
1/5
p765. 1995. 1 star.
Rap. Wrong audience. Don't like rap. Don't get rap. Hard pass from me.
TV On The Radio
3/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2004. 3 stars.
Quirky indie US art-rock crossed with doo-wop. Some interesting ideas, but a lot of the tracks outstay their welcome. Glad I heard it, but wouldn't revisit.
Van Morrison
2/5
p154. 1968. 2 stars.
Fine lyrics and voice, let down by below par songs. Go on, whistle the melody to anything on this after one listen. See what I mean? And no-one needs multiple 6+ minute songs.
Skepta
1/5
p944. 2016. 1 star.
Two things I cannot abide:
1. Rap
2. Foul mouthed guttersnipes from Norf Landan
This is a rap album by a foul mouthed guttersnipe from Norf Landan. Nope.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
4/5
p647. 1990. 4 stars.
Angry old men produce fabulous angry grunge classic. Point deducted for excessive guitar wankage, even if the playing is pretty good - no-one needs multiple 7+ minute tracks in the 90s.
FKA twigs
3/5
p940. 2014. 3 stars.
Goldfrapp clone that takes the cousins on at their own game and wins. Points deducted for being difficult to find, and for lacking standout tunes.
General rule which still holds true: if people aren't talking it about an album 5+ years after its release, it isn't essential listening.
Björk
4/5
p4942. 2015. 4 stars
Almost perfect weird Icelandic breakup album. Point deducted for being difficult to find, songs outstaying their welcome, and just plain oddness.
Miles Davis
2/5
p42. 1959. 2 stars.
Jazz. Technically proficient but soulless and meandering background music. No-one needs multiple +9 minute tracks of improvisation.
Belle & Sebastian
3/5
p796. 1996. 3 stars.
Donovan for the 1990s. Sharp lyrics, let down by the lack of standout tunes and the fact that all of their songs sound the same. Pleasant enough, but not memorable.
Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
1/5
p701. 1992. 1 star.
Token nod to World Music for the list. I think I heard this as background music in a curry house in Stoke. The food was good, the music less so. Would not listen to it again.
Beck
2/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2005. 2 stars.
A re-tread of previous Beck albums but without the standout tunes. Not his best work and not essential listening.
Fiona Apple
3/5
p781. 1996. 3 stars.
Strong debut, 90s singer-songwriter with decent lyrics and good vocals. Points deducted for a lot of tracks sounding the same and outstaying their welcome.
Run-D.M.C.
1/5
p517. 1984. 1 star.
I appreciate how influential it is, but at the end of the day it's rap, and I don't like rap. It's also badly dated.
Fugees
1/5
p794. 1996. 1 star.
More foul mouthed hip-hop/rap :( It speaks volumes that the best tracks on this are covers, and none of them add anything to the originals.
Bob Dylan
4/5
p75. 1965. 4 stars.
So this is what all the fuss is about. Lyrically light years ahead of the competition, and packed with great tunes. Point deducted for some of the tracks outstaying their welcome, and for his nasal whine. Note that his songs always sound better when covered by other artists who can sing.
The Human League
5/5
p479. 1981. 5 stars.
An almost perfect sound capsule of early 80s synth pop and UK clubs. It's dated for sure, and Phil Oakley's voice is a dirge, but it's packed with great tunes - there is not a weak track on this.
"But if you can stand the test/You know your worst is better than their best"
Dire Straits
3/5
p417. 1978. 3 stars.
Generic Geordie US influenced rock. Mark Knopfler has sharp lyrics, can knock out a tune and is a fine guitarist - but it's also slick and soulless. No wonder Dire Straits incurred the wrath of the punks at the time. This isn't essential listening, but some of their later albums are.
The Pretty Things
3/5
p146. 1968. 3 stars.
Mildly pretentious prototype 60s rock opera. Came cold to this and was pleasantly surprised - decent lyrics and harmonies. There is a direct line from this to Tommy and The Wall. All it is missing are standout tracks.
Dagmar Krause
1/5
p598. 1988. 1 star.
The sound of a failed German off-Broadway musical, with a singer channelling their inner Marlene/Sally Bowles. Nein.
Found it on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbYmWrfNJpQ
DJ Shadow
1/5
p779. 1996. 1 star.
Man discovers he has a drum machine, a sampler and no talent. This desperately wants to be "Play" by Moby and fails spectacularly.
Rod Stewart
2/5
p210. 1970. 2 stars.
Rod Stewart was a decent vocalist, and the Faces were great live band. Sadly they're let down by weak originals and redundant covers here. Not their best work by any means.
Bob Dylan
3/5
p816. 1997. 3 stars
Sounds like a Dire Straits tribute band working on their own material. There are some decent songs here, and lyrically he's still sharp, but most of the tracks outstay their welcome. No-one needs multiple 6+ minute tracks, or the 16 minute abomination he ends with. And the general rule that other artists do better versions of Dylan songs still holds true.
Pink Floyd
4/5
p350. 1975. 4 stars.
Strays into 70s prog-rock wankage a little too often for 5 stars, but otherwise it's brilliant.
808 State
1/5
p622. 1989. 1 star.
Tedious electronica. I am sure I played Candy Crush with this as the background music. Bonus point for Pacific State, but otherwise this is a hard pass.
Gene Clark
4/5
p332. 1974. 4 stars.
Quality 70s US West Coast country/folk rock. Point docked for a lack of standout tunes, but otherwise this is excellent.
Arcade Fire
2/5
p902. 2004. 2 stars.
Distinctly average Stateside indie rock from the critic darlings, with no redeeming features.
N.E.R.D
2/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2004. 2 stars.
Peculiar blend of styles - soul, rock, jazz - that doesn't really work, and there are no standout tracks. Once heard, immediately forgotten. Bonus point for the production.
Tim Buckley
2/5
p180. 1969. 2 stars.
Later 60's Stateside singer songwriter. Fabulous voice, let down by substandard material, meandering song length and dated production. Bonus point for "Buzzin' Fly", which is a thing of beauty.
The Coral
2/5
Not in my edition of the book! 2002. 2 stars.
At first I thought this was by a 60s band that had somehow slipped under my radar. Nope, it's millennium scousers reliving their grandparents favourite "beat" records. Well done of its kind, but oddly soulless. Worth a listen though.
Iggy Pop
4/5
p387. 1977. 4 stars.
If Jim Morrison had produced an album with Bowie, it would sound like this. Point deducted for "Tiny Girls" which is possibly the worst thing that Iggy has done, but otherwise it's terrific.
Janet Jackson
1/5
p630. 1989. 1 star.
Proof that Michael was the talented one. Bland, badly dated, inexplicably popular 80s pop with no standout tunes. And her voice isn't that great. Instantly forgettable.
Derek & The Dominos
4/5
p195. 1970. 4 stars.
Some of the finest guitar work ever laid down on record. Eric might get the kudos, but the real star of the show is Duane Allman. As with all double albums, too much filler and excessive wankage - no-one needs multiple 6+ minute tracks - but when its good, its brilliant, with Clapton showing just what a good songwriter he can be. A bit of judicious editing down to a single album and this would have been an easy 5 star.
Jeru The Damaja
1/5
p725. 1994. 1 star.
(C)rap. This no better (and probably a bit worse) than the rest of the 1 star rap albums on this list.
The rule still applies: if no-one is talking about an album 5 or more years after it's release, it's not essential listening.
The Rolling Stones
3/5
p231. 1971. 3.5 stars.
Possibly the only Stones record you need. Some great songs here, and Mick Taylor is a fine guitarist. Points deducted for Jagger's faux American blues accent, it gets fucking annoying after a while, especially when you know he's from Dartford.
Spacemen 3
1/5
p612. 1989. 1 star.
Pretentious, tedious abstract guitar noodling with spoken/whispered "lyrics". Fuck me, this is awful. Who picked this shit for the list?
Frank Sinatra
3/5
p22. 1953. 3 stars.
On the plus side, we have THAT voice, Nelson Riddle's production, and some of the greatest moments from the American Songbook. Set against that are filler and the fact it's single paced - 16 songs of heartbreak is a bit too much for anyone.
Queens Of The Stone Age
2/5
p834. 1998. 2 stars.
Derivative, noisy Nirvana wannabes but without the songs.
ABBA
3/5
p359. 1976. 3 stars.
Proof (if it were needed) that ABBA were a great singles band. As an album, there is far too much substandard Eurotrash filler, but the best tracks are still brilliant nearly 50 years on.
Peter Gabriel
3/5
p387. 1977. 3 stars.
Schizophrenic mix of weird musical theatre and classic 70s Brit rock. When it's good, it's brilliant, but there are far too many oddities to deserve repeated listening.
Stereo MC's
2/5
p695. 1992. 2 stars
Classy early Brit rap/house music, let down by filler and lack of variety. Most of the songs sound the same.
The Notorious B.I.G.
1/5
p743. 1994. 1 star.
(C)rap. Sample "lyrics":
motherfucker bitch nigga motherfucker dick fuck shit motherfucker bitch nigga fuck motherfucker nigga
You, too, can be a best selling rap artist. Hard pass.
Depeche Mode
1/5
p568. 1987. 1 star.
Pretentious mid-80s electro wank with no redeeming features. It's like punk never happened.
a-ha
3/5
p531. 1985. 3 stars.
Classy 80s electro pop with one genuine classic and a terrific voice, but far too much filler to repay repeat listens. A perfect example of being at the right place at the right time, with razor sharp cheekbones and dodgy haircuts. On the plus side, it's short.
Astrud Gilberto
1/5
p99. 1967. 1 star.
Cringeworthy, bland, syrupy sweet middle of the road crap. Just listening to this made my teeth ache. It's even got a vomit inducing duet with a child. And Astrud Gilberto can't sing. Who the fuck decided this was essential listening?