Hearts And Bones

I have loved Paul Simon since before I could speak. But really, this is terrible. You should only listen to this if you need to remember that your heroes are also human and fallible.

This was bland beyond belief, the one exception being the Niles Rogers/Bernard Edwards collab, which at least had a great bass line

Dear god no…I think this is actually the worst album I have ever heard. Quite how anything manages to be more unpleasant than Iron Maiden, Tears For Fears, Michael Jackson, Petty, ZZ Top, Nine Inch Nails, The Police, Rush, Genesis, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, and Metallica is a mystery and I am always curious about a mystery… Tom.

I dont like paul Simon so im gonna give him a one

Nah not a fan. I thought Cars Are Cars was quite funny though. But yeah, nothing really peaking my interest at all.

Very boring

Boring

René and Georgette Magritte with Their Dog After the War The Late Great Johnny Ace

Boring AF

Que fait cette bouse dans la liste ?

Awful, dreadful rubbish. I've had mixed experiences so far but this is the first album I strongly believe shouldn't be on this list. It's so terrible, it shouldn't have been made.

The poor man’s Peter Gabriel. Cliche at this point, but “Cars Are Cars” is possibly the worst written song made by a mainstream artist in the entire 20th century.

Wanker

Never heard of this album. Not a big Paul Simon fan anyway but this certainly should not be on this list.

Nope.

Absolute Snoozefest vol. 2. Zero bangers.

"Cars are cars.... ALL OVER THE WORLD!" Consummate brilliance from Mr. Simon; I don't know how I ever lived without this magnum opus in my life. /S

Horrible

1. allergiez - 1 2. heartz -1 3. zeriouz - 0 4. think - 1 5. Moon - 1 6. Much - 1 7. Train - 1 8. Rene - 1.5 9. Cars - 0 10. Late - 1 11. Shelter - 1.5

I hate this style of music. Sappy lyrics, music is almost tuneless. This is so weak and insipid it makes me sick, it was actual torture for me to hear. I never want to hear anything in which Paul Simon was involved again. Thank you to the reviewer who called this "the musical equivalent of hotel art", rarely have I heard anything more apposite.

Nothing cool about Paul Simon.

I pretty deeply did not enjoy this one, though there’s nothing innately wrong with it. It’s possible Paul Simon’s voice and lyrics just rub me the wrong way.

Totally added onto my depression. Thanks.

Fuck no

Mid

Didn't move the needle for me. Cars are cars all over the world? Okie dokie. Guess you needed to hear this paul simon album when it was released.

This soft rock album drifts through delicate guitar work, subtle synths, and refined percussion, with gentle, conversational vocals conveying vulnerability and thoughtfulness, being immaculately melancholic and restrained so that I just wanted to turn it off.

YOU MUST LISTEN TO THE SIXTH STUDIO ALBUM BY PAUL SIMON WITH NONE OF HIS MOST FAMOUS SONGS ON THERE. IT IS ESSENTIAL!

WHERE IS ART? WHY HAVE YOU DEPRIVED ME OF MY DARLING GARFUNKEL???

lots of simple statements and sentences (cars ARE cars!) felt a bit like reading an essay or story from a middle schooler (after No Child Left Behind). not sure if there’s an overarching theme of this album, seems like he was just saying whatever, a lot of these songs could’ve been a brief conversation between friends. i think if i blind bought this album in 1983 i’d be a little pissed at wasting my money. with the way people talk about the music from the 80s, it’s refreshing to know that artists from that time could create shit from a butt like this. jarring realization that this is The Simon from Simon & Garfunkel, expected more from him on this but maybe the majority of good song writing came from Art. i feel a little annoyed with myself about how many opinions i have about this stinker, oh well. at worst, it was shit, at best it’s fine for even the most tolerable of people, i was glad when the album was over both times i listened to it, now i need to figure out how to remove this from my listening history so it doesn’t mess up my algorithm.

This album was BORING GET A FUCKING JOB PAUL

1/5 - From a lesser talent, this would be a 2, but Simon is too good to make such a lazy snooze of an album. “Cars are Cars” is one of the dumbest songs I’ve ever heard. “Hearts and Bones” was the only thing I needed to hear off this album. Disappointing.

This is one of those 1980s albums with so many musicians involved that it all sounds a bit homogenous, with annoying 80s production effects. Bland and uninspiring. Track 2 was a bit more conventional Simon territory, then it's back to 80s percussion. And so it goes.

Dropping the Garfunkel didn’t help this album!

Unfortunately this album, to me, at its best sounded like a mediocre soundtrack for a 90s Disney movie. (Phil Collins just rolled over in his grave.) At its worst, it was mind numbing and anemic. Nothing more than a very drab man’s diaristic thoughts that could’ve stayed relegated to the journal. The production? Unsurprising. The lyrics? Uninspired. His voice? Meek. The first song, Allergies, felt like it belonged in a Benadryl commercial. It seemed as though he had nothing he really wanted to say in any of these songs. In the track, Train in the Distance, near the end he sings, “What is the point of this story?” I wish he’d asked himself that before he set out to write. Seriously, Cars Are Cars? Need I say more? But I hear he did some great stuff with his band after this album. Sometimes, I suppose, you have to make terrible art to get at the good stuff.

What the fuck? This is the worst lyricism from Paul Simon. Allergies? WHAT THE FUCK? Cars are cars? Absolutely not. Trash. This man has given us some beautiful music but this is absolute shit.

Would've given 0.

So dull. Flacid music. Lyrical genius at work writing a songs about allergies and the mind-bending observation that ‘Cars are Cars’.

So far Paul Simon albums have been a nice surprise. Then this turned up. I read their was 'Overshadowed by Graceland'. There's a reason for that its not very good, a rare miss from a musical genius. No one can get it right every time. It was just plain dreary.

He sucks.

Not for me. 1/5

Can’t think of anywhere I would rather not be than a Paul Simon concert

I don't get why people are saying the lyricism is the biggest plus. Like I enjoy Paul's lyricism, and I enjoy surreal, but the surreal imagery Paul cooks up here just feels forced; half the time I wonder if he's truly talking about something or pulling words out of his ass.

I like some of the actual music on this. Not the lyrics; not the singing. Allergies, song about the moon, and cars and cars are embarrassingly awful. The best song was The Late Great Johnny Ace. The rest were forgettable.

Too boring for me, a bit hokey. Not my style

Oh boy. I think this is on the list to prove that even storied artists can crap out a clunker. The man had literally no ideas - he sings about his allergies, he sings about how cars are cars wherever you go, and he sings about how easy it is to write a song, just gaslighting us with his complete lack of effort. The music sounds ok but the song ideas and lyrics are so bad that they doom the whole project.

Literally the most boring shit ever

no fucking way this man thought opening up an album with “allergies” was a good idea. making that song wasn’t a good idea. my life is worse for knowing this exists

I don't know.. It did not fascinate me.

Thought it was a pretty bland album until paul thoughtfully declared "cars are cars" like damn Socrates, save some pussy for the rest of us. Jk this album sucked

Couldn't wait for it to be over, yet it felt like it never got going.

- Allergies feels like a spoken word performance given by a local high school theater improv troupe. - Hearts and Bones is hearts and boring - "Two times two is twenty-two, four times four is forty-four" in When Numbers Get Serious ??? - Train in the Distance please end my misery - CARS ARE CARS i'm fr gonna KMS what the hell This album is ass, can i give it less than a 1 star

Can't bear another Paul Simon album sorry

Farts and stones

I hate this album. I am actually angry that I listened to it. I like Paul Simon, and previously regarded him as a savant. But this is pure trash! This album actually sounds like it emerged as a joke, or a dare (“you can’t write, record, and produce an album in under 5 hours”), or as a threat from his accountant (“You’re broke! Put out an album, STAT!”). The first song is about his allergies. I shit you not. It sounds like it was written by a pre-teen. And there’s an intensely earnest instrumental section and a guitar solo that are completely at odds with the lyric. Then there’s the song about writing a song that sounds like it was made up on the spot. Several other songs are total dogshit. The title song is very good, and I’m told it’s about his failed marriage to Carrie Fisher. It’s endearing and thoughtful, but it cannot save this album. The only mitigation for this monstrosity is that it is the album before Graceland (which is brilliant) and, if you see it as warm up finger exercises for that album (the characters and storylines are similar), then maybe it’s ok that he put this utterly awful collection when he really should not have. Why it’s in the 1001 list is really beyond me though.

Pointless, uninspired, cheesy lyrics over dull and equally cheesy orchestration. This is another one of those filling out the numbers with a familiar name entries.

nah

Songs for sopping wet flannels

Not a fan

This was awful. 80s Paul Simon is the worst Paul Simon.

music for vampires. hated. (⌐■_■)

This is spiritually better than Graceland because it doesn’t feature Paul Simon trying really hard to be African. But it’s musically worse because it doesn’t feature all the cool African musicians. Basically an irrelevant point though, overall it’s another Paul Simon record and it sucks.

54 minutes of boredom

So many other albums they could have picked from 1983 instead of this dreary load of old cobblers. Clearest case of boomer bias so far.

#Daily1001Albums I must confess this is yet another artist I'm not very familiar with. I’ve given it a listen a couple of times today and it’s done absolutely nothing for me whatsoever. The only other album I’ve heard by him besides this is Graceland, and this really doesn’t have a patch on that. Not an important album as far as I’m concerned

4.5

Brutal

Second album de Paul Simon. J'avais trouvé le premier profondément ennuyeux. Le premier morceau (Allergies) est intéressant (chorus d'Al Di Meola), mais le soufflé retombe vite, et le niveau d'ennui remonte tout aussi vite. => toujours 1/5

Sounds really plain and I enjoyed it less and less as I went on

I got bored of it pretty quick

I loathe this man and his music. What a load of puerile, corny, self-important dreck. On top of his rampant sense of self importance, Paul Simon is an exceptionally petty human being, as evidenced by his erasure of Art Garfunkel’s work on this album, which started off as a Simon and Garfunkel reunion album and then “became” a Paul Simon solo-record. (…and just you case you think I’m some kind of weird Art Garfunkel defender/apologist…first of all, why would you even think that’s even a thing? No one on earth cares that much about Art Garfunkel’s musical career to passionately defend it. The dude might as well just change his first name to “And” (as in “And Garfunkel”). Second of all, fuck him too. He’s just as guilty in all this, for enabling and abetting Paul Simon. He’s just not my primary focus here today and, frankly, Paul Simon probably did him a favor when he erased his contributions from this record…One less albatross around Art’s neck, you know what I mean?) This is music to facilitate the propagation of Yuppies. Yuppies play it for their Yuppie kids, who, in turn, play it for their kids, thus creating another generation of Yuppies: A never ending cycle of Young, Upwardly-Mobile Professionals, hellbent on the celebration of abject mediocrity. Fuck Paul Simon.

6/14/24 this one didn’t really hold my attention. didn’t finish it. might have to revisit it

So many albums on this list are just kind of bland. It sounds like a generic folk, rock album for the time period it was conceived. Boring. Next.

Uninteresting, boring topics, seems like he grabbed a random bunch of songs and put them all on an album

Cars are cars? Thanks for that insight Paul. No, no really. Great stuff there.

I gave the first two songs a solid listen. I skipped around through the tracks. I picked random points of songs to listen to. I finally accepted, this is not my thing and I will not make it all the way through. a couple lyrical sweet spots, but that's about it. (maybe it would've been better if he hadn't erased Garfunkel's contributions? just sayin...)

Snooze

Just because it says Paul Simon doesn’t mean it’s any good

This was bad he is talented just the album content was lacking

Definitely not on part with his work in Simon & Garfunkel. This was not for me in the slightest. Almost shut it off by the ridiculousness of Cars are Cars. Yes Paul, cars ARE cars, now please stop singing! 1/5

Bounced hard off this, many songs sound like something you come up with in the shower.

I know 'Heart & Bones' is a big track but not for me and the rest of the album is a bit boring.

I got 2 songs in and was just.... I'm not gonna waste my time. I know what I'm in for.

Wow. This is possibly the most vanilla album on the list. Paul Simon is a talented and successful artist, but this - this is just bleh.

Boring

Felt everything was boring and uninteresting. The vocals were fairly soulless pop and the instrumentals were also nothing special

1.5 probably. Dull.

So bad it hurt my soul

Not good.

Fuck everything about this album. Jesus titty fucking Christ

Not for me. Some of it has aged very badly

Boring and in places comically bad

Could Paul Simon be the most over-rated artist of all-time? Why not send us a collection of John Denver Ballads? I'm baffled how this LP, which was a commercial and critical failure, could be picked over many exceptional and influential LPs that did not make the 1001 list. I was willing to suffer through the whole thing, but my co-judge told me to take this "middle-of-the-road garbage" off after three songs.

Absolutely shite.

Wtf is this? Lyrics are awful, musically meandering...ugh

Again, some album that no one has ever heard. Are they picking the most obscure albums from some of the biggest names just to make sure you listen to them? To be fair, early 80s Paul Simon sucks anyway. Muzak with falsetto vocals.

Feels like a children's school album. Would much prefer listening to Simon and Garfunkel. This has all my least favorite of the 80s elements in the album.

pffffffffffffffffffffffffffbgbghhf

Not good

Think his older work is much better

One thing this process has taught me us that Ireally dont like Paul Simon hes mumbly wistful obtuse storytelling just gets my goat. The music is just bland and the whole thing sucks man. If this album were to a fairground ride it would be one that goes really slow and boring but still makes you sick and break your legs. Probably give you tinnitus as well.

no mamen. demasiado paul simon. no vale la pena.

There must be some mistake here in including this album. I’d subtract a star if I could knowing that Simon’s next album was Graceland.

Garfunkel hard carried this chud

weird white man island music

Soft, bloated, unoffensive, smugly inane lyrics, about as much character as white bread. If he wasn't already famous, he'd have been laughed out of the studio (\"2 x 2 is 22\", \"cars are cars\"). Some good session musicians trying to keep a straight face while playing on this dross, but doesn't redeem it. Negative 5 stars, I will go out of my way to burn any physical copies I find.

RRRRAAAASSSSSSPPP!

Not a fan. Sounded like Jimmy Buffet crossed with The Meat Puppets at times.

More easy listening if you’re into easy listening. Inoffensive if you’re not into offensive. This is “safe music” and you put it on if you don’t want anyone complaining in a crowd because while it isn’t special in any way, people are afraid to say they don’t like something Paul Simon has put out and don’t care for this pedestrian album. This sounds like an album Paul Simon’s label put out when when he has no hits.

10 ply.. Super soft. Just.. Goofy lyrics.

Not my cuppa