The Real Thing

Un disco logorroico, pieno di soli polpettoni e anche brani inutilmente lunghi. Come se non bastasse arriva mike patton sopra a peggiorare le cose con uno stile spesso terribile. Qua non è in discussione la tecnica dei musicisti ma il gusto.

cover art looks fun. okay his voice is a little bit annoying. i liked woodpecker from mars the most. for the rest of the record lyrics were cringey for the most part but like maybe thats what they were going for idk. surprise youre dead was funny though lol.

Not really my kind of thing, some songs had nice base and I liked Woodpecker from Mars

I had a fun time listening to this. Mike Patton is one of proto-nu-metal’s great vocal entertainers, and he just sounds like he’s having a really fun time squidging and contorting his vocals. The instruments are pleasingly overblown; a riposte, of sorts, to hair-metal - using plenty of its trappings, but turning them in on themselves. But it never really gets beyond “wow, this is kinda fun”.

Listened on Friday, reviewed on Monday, forgot a lot in between. What I do recall is that the end of Falling to Pieces contains the entire blueprint for Korn's sound, this was at its best when they slowed down and tended towards arena rock, and they only took themselves too seriously (not a good look when you're doing awkward 80s raps) half the time. Two stars for the fun 50%.

A bit too proggy for me, but there are flashes throughout that are amazing (Woodpecker from mars)

Ponto primeiro, não sabia que os Faith No More eram tão velhos; Ponto segundo, não suspeitava que eles faziam misturas. Mas tenhamos calma, como dizia o Jack the Ripper, vamos por partes. Então comecemos pelas misturas, estes jovens metem claramente hip hop a bruta no meio das músicas, sem um grande esforço para que exista uma simbiose das duas sonoridades, sendo que têm uma sonoridade principal de Hard Rock e Heavy Metal. De seguida, a voz do senhor que é tão esganiçada torna-se insuportável passado tanto tempo de álbum. As melhores cantigas são as que não entram nestas misturas disfuncionais, no caso em questão, músicas como o Surprise! You're Dead!. No meio de tanto desespero, fico positivamente surpreendido por uma canção que não possui qualquer tipo de canto. Acho que esta música é bastante famosa o Woodpecker From Mars, achei que a mesma foi bem conseguida e muito agradável. Após esta feliz ocorrência deparo-me com outra situação, que também me deixou feliz, sorriso de orelha a orelha, foi WarPigs que esta tão bem tocado, tão bem instrumentado e inicialmente bem cantado, mas rapidamente os vocais tornam-se mais esganiçados e desagradáveis, sendo preferível optar pela original, sendo que está é uma versão muito semelhante, sem poucas coisas autorais dos Faith No More. Só para deixar como note de Rodapé, o Baixo deste álbum esta muito alto na mistura e é bastante notório, isto não é uma coisa má, é apenas uma constatação dos factos. As melhores músicas do álbum são as que já foram referenciadas, nomeadamente a urprise! You're Dead! e a Woodpecker From Mars, com uma ligeira preferência pela segunda. Nota: 4/10 Data: 15/06/2024

rap/funk/metal fusion is so lame

My brother Keith loves Faith No More, and their offshoot band Mr. Bungle. He was 11 in 1989. What IS IT that people like about them? Maybe this is a microgenerational thing where only those of a specific age range, at this specific time, get it. Metal, chanting, rap, classical strings, horns, and a lounge number to cap it off. They're certainly fearless when it comes to genre swapping. Fusion is cool. Their successors did this much better (RATM, Chili Peppers) and much worse (Limp). Someone's gotta bravely walk the out on the branch so the others in waiting can climb the tree. With No More Faith, you have no meaning. With no meaning, there's no fear. With no fear, you make a bad album. C-

Very talented but very annoying. The slap bass, the rapping and singing are all grating. The singer sounds like a fucking Gremlin. Considering when it came out, however, it seems ahead of its time, even revolutionary: early rap rock, hardcore, proto-primus, Marilyn Manson, System of a Down. But I can’t imagine a context in which I’d want to listen to this. I liked the Heavier Suprise You’re Dead. Zombie Eaters and Woodpecker from Mars both sound at home in the 2000s and aren’t as annoying. Can’t deny the balls of putting a proficient cover of War Pigs on there. But still, my vote is a 2.

false

Could not get past the voice, unfortunate as I recall enjoying the singles when it dropped. Tastes have changed a bit too much to handle the finger nails meet chalk board voice I guess 🤷‍♂️

5

Not the voice for me lol

Cheap Chilis

Hummm, je ne suis pas certain de cet album… pas braiment genre et ma chanson prefere est une de Black Sabbath… 2.75

pssh

not a huge fan

Not my think and very dated but it works ok.

Wew

Kinda generic, couldn't connect

I kind of hate this album, but I try not to give a 1 unless there are no redeeming qualities that I can see, and I have to admit that the last track was kind of cool, so I'm giving it a really soft 2. Really, though, this sucks. Best track: Woodpecker from Mars

Didn't hear anything I would want to listen to again.

Enough of this, it grates with no cheese. Pass.

From the album cover and band name, I thought I was in for a punk record, and the first 30 seconds seemed to confirm that. I didn't realize I was about to experience the bridge from Guns N Roses to Limp Bizkit. I kept waiting to warm up to it, but it just became more painful. (Their cover of “War Pigs” was impressive and demonstrated the band’s musicianship, but it wasn’t transformative enough to merit an extra star for me).

I strongly dislike this band. Sounds like clown metal.

Awful, no idea what it’s trying to be. The vocals? Eeeesh.

As soon as the vocalist started singing on track one I knew I was in for a tough ride. He has many different styles... whiny, annoying rap, breathless whisper. There's almost no type of bad singing he can't do. The music isn't doing anything I want to hear. It exists in the liminal space between heavy metal/hard rock and jam band wankery. All the things I complained about in my review of Californication are here as well and they're mostly worse. The only thing this has going for it is that I'd never heard it before so no painful memories were unleashed. Luckily, I never have to hear it again.

It's like crush40, but not as good and if they weren't connected to all my tender and beloved childhood memories. Also the rap rock proto nu metal thing is bad.

This feels like the sort of music that inspired Fred Durst. My rating is generous.

Ugh I’ll be honest I couldn’t finish this one. Not only did it make me cringe about my Kerrang buying era but it was actively dampening my morning. Can you listen to this when you’re not feeling angsty? It makes me think, how angsty was I as a teenager to truly enjoy this type of music and listen to it at any hour of the day?!

Holy shit no thank you. How is this not mercilessly clowned. RYM: N Saved a song: N

This sounds like a band that would be in Wayne’s World

Omg sind die vocals scheisse. Ich bin fast gstorbe während epic. Einzig tolerierbare song ischs war pigs cover. Wills halt nd faith no more isch

Not for me

Correct, you can blame this stupid fucking record for spawning the trendy rap-rock scourge that inflicted upon the culture the likes of Limp Bizkit, Papa Roach, Buckcherry, Crazy Town, System of a Down, Korn, 311, Incubus, and Kid Fucking Rock. No thanks. I thought it was lame when I was a 14 year-old with hardly any taste, and I think it's 27x lamer now.

This sounds like it was recorded as a joke. A proto-Limp Bizkit, utter trash. In the sense that it opened the door to Limp Bizkit and their ilk, this is groundbreaking for 1989, but I think I would have liked that ground to be left undisturbed, or at the very least that the descendant bands didn't have their own slots on this list.

Didn't get this at all. A bunch of corny metal songs? Is that it?

I actually did not like this album that much. The vocals were too over the top. Hard to explain

That was lame and terrible.

Wasn’t a fan and haven’t heard of this group before this.

Not for me - this band was completely unknown to me - I can’t even speak to if this is good for this genre bc it is simply not for me so how could I know - there were parts of songs that were better than others

Faith No More … more like For the Love of God No More! I’m pleased to report that their A & R guy got it right on this one and found the only song that could have possibly been a single. Let’s face it, if that fish didn’t suffocate and that piano didn’t explode, we never would have heard of this band and the world would have been a simpler, more tuneful place. The vocals are grating, the instrumentals are boring and the overall effect is more annoying than anything else. I mean they even screwed up the cover of War Pigs by losing the rhythm and pushing the tempo in the first chorus… it’s a near perfect song and they did nothing to it except play it poorly. ‘Da fuck? This sounds like taking all the bad Red Hot Chili Peppers’ albums and then removing any actual funkiness - and nobody needs to hear that. I would have been fine on my long parade to the grave without needing to hear this one in full.

Eepy and tyty and naunau and grogro. Some ok riffs. ONE.

Good God this is bad. These guys clearly had chops. But their collective musical sensibility leads to an accidental self-parody of epic proportions. I dislike a great many of the musical influences that are so unabashedly and awkwardly aped in this mess. (Love Slash, Axl makes me cringe; never understood the Peppers' appeal; and for the love of all that is righteous and holy, did the world really need a synth-metal revival?? (Ironically, the keyboard player's next band - Imperial Teen - put out an album that I've always thought brilliant (it sounds nothing like this and he doesn't play synths in it).) As for the influences I do like, I’m offended by the banality of the "flattery” offered here. Without a doubt, though, the worst thing about this offal is that it inspired Limp Bizkit.

Godnondeju wat zijn albums van bands op het randje van heavy metal, hair rock en grunge toch een partij worstelen. Soms lijkt het iets meer richting grunge of RHCP-funk metal te gaan, wat me wat beter ligt, maar over het algemeen heb ik me nauwelijks vermaakt. Ik haal hier gewoon niets uit. 5/10

Not for me. 1/5

Bad Guns N Roses .. when they rap it hurts me

Couldn’t finish. Thought it was almost unlistenable

ahaha what on earth is this. The second track with the rap is so bad I can't believe some of the shit this book turns up with sometimes. The vocals are just pure cringe. An album where I can't really picture a target audience, who actually likes this? Think the sabbath cover really sums this up, like it’s just a terrible pastiche. All the trappings of heavy music without any of the edge.

Too aggressive

Nah

Just not for me

Really so far from. Real this is a horrible mish mash of stuff. Like a yellow label cheap option. Should be nowhere near this list.

Still don't like it

With all due respect to Mike Patton, this is way worse than I expected. Maybe I just wasn’t in the mood for it. (1.5)

I couldn't. so bad. One catchy riff, and the rest just not my style. Like 90s metal and hip hop, but not this admixture.

I have faith no more in this 1001 albums list, this album is just vocal garbage. The drummer and guitarist were trying their hearts out, but the best track is just a shitty Black Sabbath cover. As a metal fan I’m stunned by the reviews this album is getting — I will not return to anything presented here.

So bad. One guy pressing a note on a synthesizer for whole songs, random "white guy rap" breaking out, heavy metal blast beats, whiney singing, 10k treble spike and hollowed out mids at 250hz, 0 bass under 100hz... nearly unlistenable. Woodpecker From Mars is cool (without lyrics, I'll point out), if the bass weren't playing all the way up at 2khz that'd be great. War Pigs is probably the best effort here, but - it's just a worse version of the Black Sabbath song it's covering (which is excellent). Last song is a whiney hard rock snarl about a pedophile played over jazzy piano? oooooook It could be good (or at least "better") if they could settle on one style and get a decent sound engineer.

No more please.

Metal rock you dont want to listen

Nope

This is awful. Whiney Kid Rock/Limp Bizkit with very few redeeming qualities. The instruments sound like pretty generic rock (some cool bass though) with awful vocals on top. Turned off after 3 songs. 2/10 (1/5)

Well let’s find something positive to say, hmmm, I know - we may have found a winner in the music to suicide to contest.

Combining rap in the style of “my name is John and I’m here to say, I rock the beat in a rockin way”, with putrid metal riffs and knock off Axl Rose vocals. Not good!

Hard rock. Yelling, thrashing.

It's never a good sign when you find yourself reflexively reaching for the lower volume button. The vocals are so grating they're almost unbearable. The guitarmonies are cool, the riffs are decent and even the funk metal bass has a fun novelty to it, but the the singing is noxious and then he starts sort of rapping. Oof, brutal. The War Pigs cover is good, but the thing about covering an all time great song is that it just throws into relief how bad all your originals are!

music for people who think family guy is hilarious

Yeah 1. Not even best of 10,000 albums all time

• both derivative and poorly executed • the cover of War Pigs is well executed, but not an innovative interpretation

i have never heard of this band before what..ok let's do this. From Out of Nowhere: idk not the worst. weird accent or enunciation.. Epic: anything but. Falling to Pieces: cool bassline. everything else is draining. Surprise! You're Dead: okay. next. Zombie Eaters: lmao. so hug me and kiss me then wipe my butt and piss me?????? ok that's it lmao u got me i give up.

This guy's voice is annoying. This is like a rejected Singles soundtrack audition. Epic, the Red Hot Chili Peppers rip off hit. The "rapping" is terrible. It's hard to believe this song got as big as it did. The "What is it?" chorus evil snake wizard voice is so silly combined with the rapped lyrics. Melancholy piano closer to cap it all off. Falling to Pieces was another single off this album and it sucks too. All the NuMetal bands should send these guys a fruit basket because they are the original NuMetal band. They did it first and maybe did it worst. Zombie Eaters goes in a totally different direction, this is their Silent Lucidity I guess. Queensrÿche sucked too. And it's made worse by the rapping somehow. This is a joke. This album is both annoyingly bad and completely forgettable at the same time. The Morning After is the title song to a terrible 80s movie. The lead singer is butchering War Pigs. Leave it to the professionals fellas. Edge of the World sounds like a bad hotel lounge act.

A struggle. Metal music has never really done it. Sheets of big sound like being repeatedly hit over the head. I’ll pass.

Not my style. Too metal. 1/5

I don't get all the good ratings here. This guy's whiney voice is worse than nails on a chalkboard. Just to clarify, I'd literally rather listen to long fingernails scraping a chalkboard than this.

The music can be pretty OK at times, but the style of singing is so goofy to me. I can't really get behind this type of thing. It also failed the headache test for me, which is the case with most metal albums.

I only survived this horrible singing style by mostly going numb to it. 1/5

While not as bad as the few other albums I've rated particularly poorly, there is just nothing in this album that even (for a moment let alone a whole song) had me intrigued. And there were unfortunately a few instances where I made a bad face. It's just simply not my thing. Least Fav Track: Epic Fav Track: The Real Thing

Epic is so bad, how was this popular. 10 years in the dungeon Will I listen to again: 0%

Ugh. I can’t stand most of this album. “Epic” is the kind of song that makes me immediately change the radio station, it’s such a terrible Red Hot Chili Peppers knockoff. Mike Patton is not a bad vocalist, in fact I think he’s very talented, but why the fuck is he trying to hard to sound like Anthony Kiedis on this track? It’s horrific and I hate it. The only redeeming thing on this record is the cover of Black Sabbath’s “War Pigs” Everything else is grating and unpleasant. 1*

wow now i see where buckcherry gets it from

This band was never for me because of the nasally whiny vocals. Nothing changed on this listen at all.

Nope. 1

I did not like this. It felt like getting sexually assaulted by the early 90's. Rock and rap can go together but i needed a bath after this as it just felt greasy

Awful buttrock trash

Should be called Please No More

The War Pigs cover was the only enjoyable part of this

Tedious

1. nouuhere - 0 2. epic - 0 3. piecez - 0 4. dead - 0 5. zombie - 0 6. thing - 0 7. love - 0 8. morning - 0 9. marz - 0 10. pigz - 1 11. uuorld - 0

No more.

Kinda screamy for me.

Not for me

Listen no more

Sometimes the singer sounded like Patrick Stump and other times like Jon Bon Jovi, but I didn’t really like it (all the time)

Meh. Not my style.

Annoying rock singer voice or tough guy rapper voice

Is it wrong to judge a band by the terrible music it influenced? No, it’s not. This shit sucks.

This is so bad.

This was a chore to get through. I really don’t like hard rock like this and I don’t like the singer’s voice. There wasn’t a single song I liked.

Just not my vibe I’m afraid

No. Nobody needs the cut-rate, hairmetal version of RHCP. Nobody. Seriously. If he's not trying to whine-sing like Vince Neil of Mötley Crüe, he's trying to white-rap like Kiedis of the Chili Peppers. What a ripoff artist. Hard pass.

Not a fan of limp bizkit, so 90's nu metal wont work

Bad

Not good at all

Nope.

I ALREADY RATED THIS YOU IDIOTS

i hate this dudes voice. 2

Waste of time.

Somehow, really nope for me

I just can’t handle Patton’s shrill vocals. It’s like a shit Axl Rose impression.

The chorus on Epic is great, lovely shift in tempo and feel, the faux rapping in the verses is awful and did not/does not hold up. This is trying to be a lot of things to a lot of different audiences and as result is just an out and out mishmash, and is sometimes just plain silly. It's all so forced, take the long, and I mean long, slow intro to Zombie Eaters, go get yourself a coffee and some vegemite toast while you are waiting for the inevitable Metallica style guitar riff, er er er, to come hurtling in, whoa man phew! Who knew that was coming... cooooooooolllllllll....I'll give it a numeric mention for the nice work on Epic.

i did not enjoy

not for me, didn't finish

sans plus

Søppel

Kind of sucks...not my jam. 1.5/5

Hahahahahaha fuck out of here.

Bad

I found it hilarious reading the Wikipedia page that there was a controversy about them imitating the Red Hot Chili Peppers, to which Roddy Bottum replied, "To me, our band sounds nothing like Red Hot Chili Peppers. If you're talking about long hair, rapping with his shirt off, then yeah, I can see similarities. But beyond that, I can't see any." It's funny because the whole time I was listening I was thinking this is a complete RHCP ripoff. And that's not a good thing to me, by the way. I hate the guitar sound, I hate the vocals, I hate pretty much all of it. The only track I really enjoyed was the bonus track cover of Black Sabbath's War Pigs. 1 star.

Thank god it’s over. This thing is awful. Each song is just a sloppy mess of instruments shoved together with this dudes miserable, whining vocals on top. It’s the bad RHCP knock off. 2/10

Not my thing.

Didn’t finish it

Yeah, I can't stand funk/rap metal fusions. I'm sure there's stuff to love here, but I find this really obnoxious

Never was a fan of theirs. Still not, but I listened. I don't like the vocals

Terrible. Mediocre classic rock with an annoying singer that made it unlistenable

Too heavy and repetitive

Annoying stretched vocals. Very clean tracks. There is some funk and rap like parts. Something that 90s bands would later perfect. After the first 3 tracks that were really hard to get through the record becomes less cringe. But it's still drap and it dips into cringe. The album feels so long.

Ekki skemmtileg

Not my style. Couldn't really listen to the whole thing.

Metal guitars with winey lyrics, I can’t relate to this. Epic’s the best track but that sounds like the Chilli Pepoers which most of this LP doesn’t.

Never liked this band much. Didn't enjoy listening to this 30+ years later.

Absolute pile of pony

Bad

awful, why is this on the list

Nope.

Not my cup of tea.

Blasting that while biking was a reputational hazard.

Is this what music used to sound like? We really had it hard.

metal probably

tbh kinda forgettable

?

No digging it.

I just want to punch him in the voice box. Some catchy licks here and there. I have had a very busy work week and I am a bit miffed I had to spend my precious few minutes of free time listening to this.

Again I'm struggling with metal-rap and in general shouting vs singing though in this case, at times, he does sing with a kind of 70s commercial rock voice. I don't mind the RHCPs, who they're compared to.

Scrubbing through to catch up... I hate this. I never really liked Epic as a signal but this other music is just not or me.

Too loud for my taste

1989: Epic